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I tend to think reading the forums is a better way to get to know Me, rather than reading My profile. However, I do post quite a bit, so that could take some serious time. Here are the highlights that you should know prior to contacting Me.

I really am here for the social and educational aspects of the forums. I'm not inclined to interact with those who are from the personals side of CM. If you are not local, not from the forums, or someone that I haven't already met, and you send Me email, please do not expect a pleasant response. I have absolutely no interest in online BDSM. I am very disinterested in wasting My time.

The best deion I can give for Myself is that I am a poly, Dominant, sadistic top who is a leather person. Please take those words very seriously, because I mean all of them. I am married and poly. I have also recently embarked on a new dynamic that is making Me quite happy. So much so that I'm not terribly interested in casual play at this time. I finally found someone that just makes Me not feel the need to play with others. I do teach on a number of topics that are kink related. If I listed Myself as an "expert" on the interest list, it is a topic that I have presented on formally. I do personal instruction in person only and not via the net. Allow Me to be very clear that I am not a professional Dominant and do not book sessions.

Note added as of 06/11/13: All bottoms that are pictured in My profile here have given specific consent for their shots to be posted. The wax, fire, and needle play pics are all from scenes where I was the top and/or presenter on the subject.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact

Sorry, folks.  This is the last one.


I'm not going to post journals here, any more.  There's a feature on the other site that is "friends only" and I feel better about that.  That's what I've decided I'm going to do.


There was a thread about stalkers, and within myself, something changed.  Nobody can hurt me unless I allow them to hurt me.  I'm not going to be a victim of an abusive prick any more.


Stalkers are abusive bastards.  It's just how it is.  You're not a person any more.  You're just a dehumanized , and no matter what they say, they can't see that.


I can't help but think, it's all about not being loved.  They don't know what genuine affection is and the of their "so-called" affection will never feel like that about them.  They have to fill themselves up with something......  Anything that removes the void.


It's great to be "in love" with a submissive again.  It's like your life being colorized after spending years with black and white.

Again, it's been three weeks since I've done a journal.  While I mean no offense to anyone, the internet just isn't that high on the priority list.  Not for stuff like this.


As the saying goes......  Make plans, God laughs.  Just as soon as I put on the Mistress "Roll Call" thread that I wouldn't be here much in February, tk got sick and all of the plans changed. 


So, I've been here more than expected, and these past few days have made Me think of things that I may not have otherwise.  There have been a number of threads that have resonated with Me about the person I kicked out of My life and I think I'm looking at some things in a whole new way.  I know people say that one shouldn't compare one situation to another, but how does a person help it?


Knowing what I have now, even with tk down to illness, I feel like I cheated Myself out of so much for several years.  That there was no love that I felt.  That the sex was sub-standard and only was satisfying on an ownership and/or sadistic level.  That there was no value above service or protocol.  No sincere affection.  I forgot what it was like to love a submissive and I look at that part of My life as though I'm a stranger to Myself, staring into a deep void.  It's the difference between the wasteland and the oasis that I have now.


One of the biggest changes that is most noticeable is My attitude about casual play.  I guess I just came to a place where I know I'm happy inside and I don't have a desire to play with anybody else.  Why trade steak for hamburger?  Not even hamburger.  More like stale bread.  Yeah, it will keep you alive and prevent starvation, but it's similar to the difference between existing and living.


So, a few things happened between My last journal entry and now that have Me further convinced.  The most monumental was Valentine's Day.  This comes in two parts.  First, MP and I went out and had the most romantic day.  The hint of My materialistic side came out and I blew some bucks on some lingerie.  What woman doesn't want to feel sexy?  Got the nails done.  Had dinner out.  Did our part for a charitable contribution.


But there was this other thing and it never happened before.  Here I was, on Valentine's Day, and I was out shopping, with MP in tow, for a care package for My sick submissive.  I've had people in My life that I never did such a thing for, including war zones.  I never even wasted a postage stamp on that other person.  Never even mailed him so much as a birthday card, yet here I was, searching for just the right kind of green tea and trail mix to go along with the other things. 


And, I got to see him on Valentine's Day!  That would have never happened before.  It sounds silly to say, but that's how I know it's different.


There was one more thread that got Me thinking.  It was something about D/D relationships.  I was recalling something that happened here recently and it's rather similar to a come to Jesus moment.......  Well, if I'd have been Jesus.  It was that "look, this is how it is" discussion that we had.  When I did that, I knew I loved them both.  I never cared enough to do it before.

Haven't written a journal in almost three weeks.  I wanted to wait until after I had My excursion for date night.  After how many years of engaging in WIITWD saying, "I don't date.  I engage in BDSM."  I guess I do date, after all.

It came close.  Right down to the wire with that freezing rain that they had in Fairbanks.  The problem with making plans in advance with someone a hundred miles away in Alaska is you never know what the roads will be like.  I don't drive in the dark, so that leaves a small window when the driving conditions are a mess.  It turned out ok, so now I can talk about it.

I was really touched when My submissive asked Me out on a date.  It meant a lot to Me.  I thought it was the sweetest thing that any submissive man had ever done.  I'm used to people asking Me to play or attend this event or that.  Instead, he wanted to take Me to dinner.  Kind of like regular people.

Plus, I have to admit, after all of the trips that he's made to come down here to make Me happy, I should at least do it once for him.  For so much of this, he's been the one making the effort.  The kid busts his ass all week long, working his tail off, and so many times, he gets off on Friday, does a few things in town, and then drives all of the way to see Me.  Spends as long as he can here until Sunday when there's just enough light to make the drive home, does his grocery shopping, and then the week starts all over again.  That's over and above all of the time he spends talking to Me during the week, often when he should be sleeping.  Not even counting that he's engaging in poly for the first time because of this situation.  After all of that, when he asked for one thing, I was happy to give it to him.

Left just after 9:30 on Saturday morning, just in case the roads were not safe.  They were a piece of cake until I hit Fairbanks.  Took, maybe, an extra fifteen minutes.  I hadn't been in town for a while, so I stopped and got My nails done.  Still made it to his place around 1:00 PM.  A bit earlier than he had expected, so he was still in cleaning mode.  Spent the afternoon finishing that and added in some errands we both had to do.  I got shown the current project that he's been doing for work that I'd heard so much about.  Total credit for picking the restaurant.  One of those little places that always astonishes you because it's such a small place but they have excellent food.  I haven't been out for Thai in years.

After dinner, we skipped the plan of going to hear some live music.  I wasn't disappointed with that because there were better priorities.  Did some wax play, had some fun, had a few drinks.  Talked, kissed, fooled around.  (I'd be shocked if we didn't these days.  Still can't keep My hands off of him.)  We have such a good time together.

I got the chance to see the other side of it the next morning.  When I had to be the one to leave.  I had left him in bed so I could take a shower.  By the time I got out, he was up, getting ready to cook a late breakfast.  As promised, I watched him cook for Me and he made Me smile that he served Me first.  We ate together.  Then, it was time for Me to go.

I have this rule about travel.  Anybody coming to Me has to get in contact when they are leaving and they have to do the same when they get home so I know they are safe.  I just think it's the decent thing to do.  I figure, if I expect that common courtesy from others, I should be willing to do the same.  Sent MP a text to let him know that I was leaving.  Promised to send tk a text when I got back.

Speaking of MP, I was really proud of him.  We've been poly for a long time, but this is kind of different.  It's a new level of emotional attachment that he's never seen Me experience before, and that makes it entirely new.  I've never felt about a submissive the way I do now and he handled it with style and grace.  No interruptions.  No texts.  No calls.  He didn't have a problem with tk and I having time for just the two of us, and that was spectacular.  I was so excited when I came home and he was happy to listen to My stories about our time together.

Being the smart ass that I am, I can't stop from laughing that a certain profile felt the need to "Admire" Me.  Seriously?  Please stop making a fool of yourself.  It's silly of you to have to come the forums to read what I write or look up the journals.  All you're doing is continually proving that you don't have the happiness that I've found.  The happiness that I never had in a dynamic, until now.

For those who have sent emails, comments, and such about Me being happy, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.  Yes, I think it probably does show in the things that I write.  I'm still blunt but I think the harsher tones aren't as present.  I firmly agree with the messages.  While I wouldn't have been the person I would foresee saying it, I probably am a kinder, gentler version of Me in discussions.


At first, I thought it was a fluke.  I thought it was something that was happening because the endorphins were flying or some other kind of justification.  It wasn't there before in those times that we had played casually.  Sure.  We had fun and everything but the sparks weren't there until just a couple of months ago.

We've talked about it at length.  We don't know why we click so well or why we are so amazing together.  Our play is getting to phenomenal level.  I'm hitting types of space that I haven't experienced in years and some that he's never seen before.  I've seen the same from the other side that just blows My mind.  His eyes are so beautiful when he's flying.


Playing or not, we can't keep our hands off of each other.  We kiss so much that My skin gets irritated just from a few hour's worth of stubble on his face.  The sex is totally off of the charts and it's not just the ownership or satisfy the sadistic urges kind.  It's the 'holy shit, we've really got something here' kind.  The type where I'm not just into the pics of play but the 'private stash' pics that are just of his body that have nothing to do with S/m.

I know people are probably thinking that I'm acting like a teenage girl with a case of puppy love.  I'd probably be thinking that too, if I wasn't experiencing what I am.  I don't know if it's the chemistry, the sincere emotional attachment, or what the formula is that we seem to be doing everything just right.  It's the best poly, the best play, and the best dynamic I've ever had and I'm exceptionally happy.

I think I just had the most intense eight hour long BDSM play of My entire life.

I officially declare January 3rd to be 'put things in your submissive' day.

(Hey, if the other site can have 'poke a sadist' day, I figure it all evens out.

I don't have a good opening for this one.  Just calling it like I see it.

Last night was probably one of the most incredible nights of My life since I found sadism.  Serious fireworks and magic time.  Impact, knife play, sounds, and more that I feel can't be put out there on some kind of list.  The collar for him is pretty awesome.  I think that has something to do with flying quite that much.  Funny, in a way.  The big endorphin rush really hit Me as we were sitting at the kitchen table after play was over.  I literally *felt* My eyes change color.  They didn't really turn back until this afternoon.

I don't know what made Me check My feed on the other site.  I was back down to earth, though still smiling from ear to ear.  Just thought I'd glance around while I had a cigarette.  I'm tempted to say that I wish I hadn't looked, but I just can't do that.

I spent a few years in the kink community in the Southeast.  The feed was filled with comments of sadness and loss over N's passing.  It was absolutely heartbreaking.  So much pain about his loss.  So many comments, pictures, and poems.  Some even from times when I was there.  Attendance at the same events.  Sometimes, breaking bread at the same table.

No good way to put it, I suppose.  I cried.  I don't mean I shed a few tears or was upset for just a bit.  I mean I cried out some serious grief.  I tried not to at first, but it just wasn't happening.

There was a thread just a day or two ago about drop.  I'll say here what I said there.  Just because people happen to be kinky doesn't mean that everything should be blamed on drop.  Grief, sadness, whatever are still just plain human emotions.  We're not immune.

I teared up and the tears fell on and off for several hours.  I told the other half several times that what was happening wasn't drop.  The grief I was experiencing and the sympathy that I felt for so many people who were hurting about the loss of this man wasn't the after effect of the amazing endorphin rush that I had enjoyed.  Thank God, My other half knows the difference between drop and the way I react when I'm actually feeling grief.  It's been quite a while since I've actually felt real grief, but tonight definitely qualified.

If any of N's friends or family should happen to see this, please know that you have My condolences.

It's always kind of funny to think that when My insomnia strikes in the middle of the night, people on the east coast are just waking up.  It seems that ever since solstice hit, I've had a run of being wide awake sometime around 1:00 AM and then crashing again sometime during the day.  When you're an insomniac, it's really easy to fall into a weird sleeping pattern.

People think insomniacs don't sleep well because they are stressed or they are worried about whatever is troubling them in their lives.  That can be it sometimes, but it's not universal.  There are times it just happens for no reason whatsoever.

Tonight was one of those.  In fact, I had the most wonderful Christmas.  (Well, except for the food part, which I'm still not good at.)  I got some lovely presents, including some wonderful earrings that are just beautiful.  My other half has excellent taste.  I scored some great clothes, too.

It wasn't the gifts, though.  It was the realization of how much I have in My life.  2013 was a darn rough year for reasons that I'm actually sick of talking about.  Yet, on Christmas, I was kind of overwhelmed by how many people all over the country have been supportive.  My day actually started with a chat with one of My leather elders, who is probably one of the most amazing men I know.  Sent emails and messages of Christmas wishes to people who have really been there for Me.  The ones who listened to Me bitch when difficulties came and encouraged Me when I seemed to run out.  I didn't get to everyone, even though I was thinking of them all.  When you literally run out of time because there are so many people....  Well, aside from a little guilt, that's still a pretty fantastic proposition.

My 2013, thank God, is ending in much better circumstances than it has been at certain times in prior months.  I would not have believed I would be this happy with a submissive in My life even two months ago.  I have to admit, he really is a pretty amazing person and he's made Me rather happy.  Seems to go both ways, too, which is more than I could have asked for.  It's been so long since I had a real emotional attachment to a submissive in My life that I almost forgot what it was like.  Probably why the emotions are happening so fast.

I do notice that I don't use certain words or phrases when I post on the forums.  It's baggage, I suppose.  Maybe that will change once this year is completely behind Me.

Another trip to the dentist and there is now some improvement.  I was getting a bit worn down by the predominantly liquid diet.  Tonight, I managed better.  Still struggling a bit but it helped with My mood in that department.

The collar is officially on the way.  I'm so excited about it.  I think it's going to look fantastic on him.  Our talk about it tonight made Me so happy.

Then again, he makes Me pretty happy in general.  Not only am I enjoying the NRE, we seem to have the same idea of what we want out of this thing.  It's great to have someone who is eager to have rituals and protocols as a part of his life.  Someone who sincerely wants to submit and wants to be controlled.  The kinks and the level of sexual excitement are nothing to sneeze at, either.

Tonight, a couple of things occurred to Me.  The first is, even though *I* don't feel like I've accomplished enough, if I would have just sat on My tail and given Myself time to heal, My recuperation probably wouldn't have taken so long.  Who would have thought that I'd still be in this kind of shape ten days later?  Well, in those ten days, there was a munch and a dungeon, and some certain things that I had to do, and it just wasn't going to wait while I sat on the sidelines.  I had the opportunity to close the hell that had been My life for the past eight months.  Tangible evidence in hand, and while kept quietly, I will never forget what the vindication felt like.  The look of disbelief as he read the papers I had to present and the muttering over and over of "oh, my God" and other choice phrases.....  Well, I'd have drawn My last breath to hear them. 

On this particular occasion, I doubt I could have stood up without MP.  That man really is My rock.  It wasn't just a matter of getting Me where I felt I needed to go, driving for hours on end, somehow, pushing his own physical limits to allow Me to make something right.....  Part of My inner strength really does come from him.  I don't think I could be who I am without him, and while I'm a great pain in the ass sometimes, he never fails Me.  No matter what it is, when it really matters, I'd place My bet on him any day of the week.

The second thought that I had is, if I smiled less, I'd have probably healed more.  The kid (don't get confused there, he's a grown man) has brought Me so much happiness.  This past month has somehow made up for the entire last year.  Yeah.  Me.  The gnarly old leather chick.  I smile all of the time.  My own laughter rings in My household, and even though I'd almost forgotten the sound, I am eternally grateful to hear it again.

Yes, I'm entirely caught up in NRE.  There are so many S/m related things that I want to do to him that I can barely keep up with his mind.  I told him today that I don't even know if I can keep up with the lessons about leather or protocol.  I'm far too busy wanting to do evil things to him.  I've even entertained the thought of him wearing My mark.

We've received so many wonderful messages congratulating us.  I would be remiss if I didn't thank those who have done so.  Not everyone is a big enough of a person to do that, so I appreciate those who can.

One last thing........

Leather isn't about coddling every person who decides they are kinky.  I didn't walk in and sign up for an exchange where I said I would gladly trade your hurt for My happiness.  It's not My fault that you could not, or would not let go.  If you are truly happy, you will.

It was worth every bump in the road.  The way every little movement jarred My face, made Me want to cry at times from the pain, and all of the discomfort that I experienced during the trip just to show up at that munch......  Every bit was worth it.

It's funny.  I don't have problems when I go to a group sponsored event.  Oddly enough, those who want to scream "prove what I did" don't want to show up when I have papers in hand. 

Courage isn't what happens when there is a lack of fear.  Courage is what actions you take in spite of it. 

Am I afraid?  A resounding yes.  It scares the shit out of Me, but I'm not going to be dictated by fear.  Tonight, I saw members of this community who were willing to do the right thing.  In My physical weakness, they became strong.  It was really rather beautiful to watch.

They showed Me that I will not be bullied because somebody feels they have the right to interfere or try to harm Me.  Scream Domestic Violence some more.  It means so much from the most abusive person I have ever met.

Candles are still a work in progress.  I'm not quite meeting My own personal time line because of some defects that I've encountered.  It's going to be somewhat silly to have to double boiler on through Thanksgiving but it's a day of catch up that I didn't consider having.  My personal deadline is to have them all done by the second.  Five days before they are really due.

The benefit to this, however, is that I get to pad My personal stash.  At this point, I have quite a few for My personal use, which reaps certain benefits.  More than I expected, really.  Had anyone asked Me a month ago, I'd have never guessed.

I have a whole new perspective on what I really want from poly.  I never realized how much it mattered that there were certain things that I was missing.  I have it all now.

Candle making progress is going a little faster now.  It took several runs through of cleaning the jar and mold that had the black dye in it, which I didn't finish until after 3:00 AM.  Still, it was holding Me up and things go so much faster when there are three jars of clear at any given time. 

The funny part about this was the other half coming in at half past 10:00 AM with a message for Me to say that there was some kind of lunch going on for office members and spouses and would I consider coming?  I've really come to like several of My husband's co-workers, so I figured I could make Myself presentable, rather than still have black specs on Me from cleaning the wax containers the night before.  I've more than learned My lesson with prior rounds of making candles/pouring wax and I don't wear the nicest clothes to do it in.

Fast shower, pick out something nice to wear, run the hair dryer, and fresh make-up.  We're out the door an hour later.  Smack into the chinook wind that has been blowing since last night.  The kind that makes you wonder why you did your make-up and hair.  Not to mention really, really cold. 

The lunch was very nice.  Mostly pot luck and I say that with the praise that some of those folks can really cook!  Every company sponsored event that we've gone to since I started going this past summer has been a great demonstration of that.  Always good food and a lot of it.

Had a great time talking with everyone for a couple of hours.  They really aren't bad for vanilla folks.  Found another fellow WOW player.  Had a nice discussion about the new "Hunger Games" movie.  Some inside jokes.  Not a bad function, all in all.

Absolutely amazing weekend.  I thought the bad weather was going to through a wrench into the whole thing.  I couldn't believe he made it here Friday night after that hideous storm on Thursday.  Saturday, we made it to the munch in the fresh snow that was falling.  Had plenty of time for the three of us to have a late brunch on Sunday, talk about how we all envision this thing going, and him back on the road with enough time to make it home while there was still daylight. 

What's really great is that they like each other.  They both have common interests that they enjoy talking to each other about.  They relate to each other and it's such a fantastic thing!  It's hard to explain why I thought this was so wonderful but I think it's because there wasn't a burden.

Seeing how well the every day things are going is a delight.  Yes, he knows how load a dishwasher!  (I have quirks about it.)  Not only that, but he stepped up to do it.  Already has a feel for the kitchen for where everything goes.  Also, did some of the shoveling while he was here.  When I had to deal with a conference call on Saturday, he quietly stepped back and worked on the toy he was making.  (It's very thuddy and he wanted to improve the design.)

Both play nights were great.  Friday, after working all day, the long drive, and the late start, his pain tolerance was a bit lower.  Still took to that single-tail like a charm.  I keep saying how good he looks in stripes.  LOL.  Saturday, we did some wax to start out and then went into a scene that was based on a fantasy that he's had for a long time, related to a certain kind of edge play.  I added a bit of mind fuck to it and I thought it was amazing.

Out of all of this, and My love for play pictures, what shot do I take?  A pic to show how much the cats have 'adopted' him.

I'm gaining affection for him quickly and it most certainly seems to be reciprocated.  All three of us talked about "signs of affection" and that went immediately well.  Probably a good thing because I enjoy them so much.



Very long day.

I spent a good deal of time on instant messenger.  I was asked for help because the person requesting such help received twenty-four emails in a twenty-four hour period.  I kind of laughed when I was asked if I had any suggestions for getting through to the sender because the receiver couldn't get through to that person.  I kind of had to laugh and say "welcome to My world."  The only thing that ever worked for Me was all forms of blocking.

Tomorrow, the other half is going to be helping Me scan a number of documents to verify the problems.  Records of blocking phone numbers, emails, transcripts of calls that were received by third parties, so on and so on.  I do have to black out the identifying information of other parties, so I'll be spending some serious time with a magic marker.

A little down time before bed.....

I invested most of the day in getting the new batch of candles started up.  Just getting the first ones going is a time consuming venture.  Cut wax, wait for it to melt, cut more, so on and so on.  It's not something you can rush by overheating because that tends to produce bubbles and air pockets when it comes time to pour the wax into the molds.  I don't have time to make candles that I would reject.  Every time I make a batch, I get a good response from those who want them.  One of My repeat purchasers ordered twenty-four candles within fifteen minutes of Me posting that I was making them again. I'd say that's a good sign.

In the rest of the time, along with screwing around too much on the internet, I've been discussing the custom collar that's being made.  Both with My friend who will be doing the leather work (ALWAYS have somebody in your life who loves to work leather) and the person who will be wearing it.  I think I've about settled on the design.  O-ring in the center front that is suitable for leashing.  Lock in the back that functions.  I want it looking NOTHING like the last collar.  I almost feel like it's bad ju ju or something.  (Said with no offense to the original designer.)

If it comes out anything like the picture that I have envisioned in My head, it's going to be a beautiful collar.  I have complete faith that Dude will create something wonderful from the rambles that I've conveyed through email.  It will look even better once it is on somebody's neck.

Some days are just normal days that are wonderful.  Today was one of those days.

Left the house at 10:30 this morning for the trip to Fairbanks.  Probably a good thing because there was more snow than the weather forecast had originally mentioned.  Took care of a couple of appointments and necessary stops.  Afterwards, the fun stuff.

The first taste of seasonal holiday shopping.  The snow added to the feel.  Found a turkey that will be the perfect size for us for Thanksgiving and a ham that will be just right for Christmas.  The whole time, I was grinning away, thinking about how happy I am now.  This holiday season is probably going to be the best one that we've had since we've lived here. 

Grabbed a quick meal between stores and then finished the shopping.  Brought home a couple of selections for movie nights together.  Replaced the copy of "Love Actually" and got "World War Z" for something new. 

The snow was pretty to look at but made for some interesting steps in the new boots.  Heels and Alaska snow don't really mix, so it leads to walking one way indoors and another way outdoors.  That snow made the drive home rather difficult.  Still, it was beautiful.  Big, thick flakes falling from the sky.  Made even better by the smile on My face and the happiness that is My life.



Still grinning from the past weekend.  Had a couple of the post play shots sent.  Those are definitely for "private stash."


Up too early, so I'm taking a nap before playing tonight.  Gives Me more time to dream up sadistic ideas.  :)

Where to begin??????

A couple of days ago, I received a request to respond to this thread.

I was kind of shocked when I received the first official request.  It wasn't the first, nor was it the only one.  I'd had a few messages from the other site to take notice of it.  I was going to let it go, considering some of the private conversations that I've had with the Mods here.  I was more than willing to step away from that topic.  Right up until the PTB asked Me to participate.  My reply to the inquiry was that I would not break ToS by naming names, but I absolutely would tell the truth.  So far, this seems to be acceptable. 

As I have conveyed to a number of people through private messages, the truth is that I was absolutely miserable in the last year of My prior dynamic.  I was so rarely happy during the first quarter of the year that I can't even identify with it.  I don't even have one, good memory from after the first of the year, except for the day he finally got out of My house.  That he was no longer present to make Me ashamed of having My collar on him or a member of My family.

Until others bring this horrid period of My life to My doorstep is one of elation.  Waking up every day, knowing I don't have to deal with a person who would touch Me and make My skin crawl, is a place of joy for Me.  It's like cutting a cancer away.

My life today is so full of happiness and joy. 

I'm officially putting Myself on the bench this weekend.  (Think football term, folks.  Not talking spanking bench here.)  I'm not going to be in the shape to play with anyone.  My dental appointment is Friday morning but if the last couple of days are any indication, there's no way I'm going to have My act together.  Next weekend, it will be a totally different story, and I've already made plans to reflect that.

Since all of this work started, I've come to truly appreciate My dentist.  Not only is he a nice guy, he is understanding about My personal quirks about his profession.  We're at the point now where he just sends Me Valium to take at home an hour before I get there.  If I don't, I'm a basket case by the time I go to the appointment.  He can't work on Me unless I'm calmed down. 

People can talk about "Master Yourself" all they want.  Put Me in dental pain and a situation where somebody is going to stick tools and their fingers in My mouth and I barely keep My principles about showing somebody exactly how submissive I'm not.  I'll gladly give it up to those who engage in this kind of thing as a kink. 

The date has officially turned, but I'm still referring to Saturday as yesterday and Sunday as today.

Theatre d'Horreur, our community dungeon, was absolutely fantastic!  It all came together so well.  There were many people who all did something to help to make it a success.  Set up crew, tear down crew, food, volunteers to DM.  Reminder to self.  Now that I'm the Dungeon Monitor Lead since the restructuring, print the shift spread sheet before leaving the house the day of the event.  A couple of the folks went through pains getting on the internet to get it for Me after the dungeon started.  LOL.

The food was done very well.  While one main person did most of it, there were also a lot of people who added to the table.  One of the big hits were these fantastic treats that were something like cupcakes on individual sticks with orange, white, and brown coating and eyes, nose, and mouth in candy.  They were done by a certain anonymous, handsome benefactor and they went over really well.

Those who volunteered as DM did a great job.  A number of people still want to see the DM class held in November so they can be more comfortable with their knowledge of what a dungeon monitor does.  Since several inquired about it, I probably will see if we can't make it happen in November.

Best of all, MP and I both had a great time playing last night.  We each had multiple scenes with other people and that part was a real blast!  I'm really hoping that one of the people that I played with last night will post the pictures that were taken after the scene was over.  The marks on his back from the single-tail were pretty awesome, even if I do say so, Myself.

We didn't leave until 2:00 AM so that meant getting home at 4:00 AM.  That's later than we would normally stay but the entire event was so good that it was definitely worth it.

Cupcakes for Saturday's dungeon are cooling.  Until then, I'm going to fix a little something.


I was going to delete My prior journal entry and decided not to.  My friend did apologize to Me when I saw her at coffee on Wednesday.  (Yes, I drove 200 miles round trip to attend coffee, which I don't drink.)  Friends do that, sometimes.  They have disagreements or misunderstandings.  I have no problem standing by My words. 


Speaking of words, I was alerted earlier to another bullshit rumor started by the asshole.  I even have the direct quote.  "her world is falling apart at the seams and i remain at the ready to respond."

Try peddling that bullshit somewhere else.  My life isn't "falling apart."  The past six months since removing the author of that quote from My life have been fantastic.  I had a misunderstanding with a friend.  That's not a big deal.  I've been exceptionally happy without the toxic person in My life.  I play quite a bit.  I have a new position in the restructured community.  My marriage is wonderful.  I get to see the fellow members of the community quite frequently.  There isn't one thing in My life that isn't better now than it was six months ago.

Even if that wasn't the case, there are seven billion people on the planet I'd call before that person.  I don't want a damn thing to do with him ever again.  Just like that attempt to make people think otherwise, he's still proving himself to be the liar that I removed him from My life for and I can guarantee that he's never coming back.  I still probably wouldn't cross the street to piss on him if he were on fire.  Truth be told, if somebody called to tell Me that he was on his deathbed, I'd probably hang up.  The only thing I could come up with that would actually get Me to lower Myself to speak to him again would be if he found the cure for cancer and people's lives would hang in the balance of Me getting it from him.  Even then, I'd conduct My business, and the minute it was over, I'd walk away, and never look at his face again.

Seriously, the guy is just deluding himself.  That call that he says he's waiting for?  It's never coming.  I put him out of My life and that's the end of it.  All of the shit he's tried to pull just put more and more nails in the coffin.  I don't see him as anything but a despicable human being and I probably always will.

My cupcakes should be cooled now, so I'm going to put them away and go to bed.  I'll put icing on them tomorrow.  There's supposed to be a great turn out at the dungeon.  It should be great.  Then again, every day is a good day when you don't have toxic people in your life.

It seems that My journal has a certain interest to others.  With this in mind, I will indulge.


Of all of the notes that I received, *ONE* person wished Me luck.  The rest of you were so worried about your own damn selves to care about anyone else.


Otherwise, I am disgraced about My own associations.  She won't block somebody who threatens My loves career, what he has spent his whole life on, but the minute she feels "not ok" she'' block us.  Funny how you would throw MP under the bus.


Yes, I am a leather person and I claim that right.  Leather is in My heart and soul and you don't change a thing about that.


Leather is not what I do.  Leather is who I am.

I looked at My own journal and realized it's been almost almost a month since I posted one.


The reason?  I've been incredibly happy with My life away from the screen.  I have very little time to waste on the online stuff.  Yes, I have checked in from time to time.  Written a few things on some threads.  I don't spend much time on it now.  I've been too busy with the restructuring of the local community, guests in My home, and private play.  All of which has been making Me happier than I've been in YEARS!


This last month has been the best one yet!  Right now, as I speak, this is the longest that I've sat down at once.  I've been busy getting the house ready.  Everything is set for the weekend.  This is going to be the final challenge for a very special friend.  A trial run, if you will.  This will be his first, full protocol weekend, and, if he does well, he'll be accepting a training collar from Me.  If all goes well, we'll be doing a formal protocol dinner in January.


It's been such a long time since I've done a protocol event.  I could never do one before when I had such a fuck up in My household.  Who does a formal event when the person with you is somebody who can't do a damn thing right?  Who you have to remind of every little thing like a child and isn't worth anything?


Yet, this weekend, the new boy will be coming and *IF* he does well, he will earn his place in My house *and* will have a room of his own, part time.  Due to other visitors, there will be a place upstairs for him when other folks occupy the guest room.  *NOBODY* has ever been allowed to sleep with us before, upstairs.  Good thing that My other half actually *LIKES* this one!

The Claiming, The Punishment, The Release


The Review



"Come forth all ye kinky people to rewrite the story of Sleeping Beauty for yourselves! Play the games of Kings and Queens in The Castle, set upon The Village in your search for brutality, or linger in the sensually stimulating Sultan’s Court."


What a wonderful opening for atmosphere!  Yesterday, we attended "The Claiming, The Punishment, and the Release" dungeon in the community of Fairbanks.  For the event, I took on the persona of a regal member of court.  Perhaps, one of an adviser, sitting in wait to see the results of what unfolded around Me.  I was completely prepared that a Sunday dungeon might have certain failings.  That the restructuring of the new organization committee might not live up to such a tale.


Such a pleasant surprise I received!  When we arrived, set up was in full swing.  Dungeon furniture was being assembled, decorations at the ready, final touches on personal costumes were being handled.  In fact, I felt almost out of place feeling that I needed a spot to lend a hand and went to the kitchen to set up a social area and a snack buffet.  More other people's work than My own, but I and My helper were 'looking busy and making things pretty' for the quiet zone. 


Speaking of things looking pretty, what a sight!  The ambiance that was created was wonderful.  Every corner looked like something from mid-evil times, right down to the table decor.  Even an old fashioned heater that someone brought from a theater company.


I was completely enthralled by the way people had gotten into the spirit and came in costume.  Some of the gowns were quite lovely.  Gents looking ever so fine.  I was quite impressed with the effort made regarding attire.


Doors closed at six for play to begin.  People took advantage of a number of play stations, including a new piece that has been built out of an old cross that is entirely a brand new piece of equipment, thanks to a member who has worked on what is left of the old materials.  Better than it ever was before, in My opinion.


While most fairy tales end at midnight, since it was a Sunday, Cinderella had to come back from the ball a little bit before the stroke of twelve.  I did have My dance and the pics of which were even posted.  There was something about a dragon tongue and, I am told, the "Lady Pact Crack" did ring in the halls.  So the story goes, it turned heads, while another story was read.


It was nothing short of a lovely event.  I greatly look forward to the next.

Now that the "Holidays in Wax" series is complete, it's time that I took a few moments to share the credit.  While all of the design creation, wax preparation, and topping skill are Mine, I think people should know that no project of this size could be accomplished by just a singular person.

First, of course, I have to acknowledge My other half.  During all of this work, he has to be a very patient and supportive guy.  There is no way I could accomplish projects like this if he wouldn't give Me the space that I needed to be creative, was underfoot all of the time, or constantly nagging Me for attention.  He never bothers Me when I am in the process of making candles or doing any of the prep work, which can be quite extensive.  No annoyances about wanting to "help" when I just want to work on My own.  Goes out of his way to ensure I have no distractions.  Picks up folks from the gate when needed.  I couldn't ask for more.

As I mentioned in another entry, this particular project had something of a benefactor.  Unfortunately, I'm not permitted to name individuals that are not on this site, but he is a caretaker on the other one.  Most of the designs were created with a few dozen pounds of paraffin that he was good enough to give Me.  This project wouldn't have been created without it.

Many thanks to all of the wonderful wax bottoms and those involved in D/s dynamics with them.  All of whom dedicated their time and patience to this project.  Many who drove here just to do these sessions.  All gave their permission for the pictures to be posted so we could have this final result.

Finally, I'd like to thank everyone who has been so wonderful in their remarks on the pictures, sharing them on your feeds on the other site, the "loves" and the kind words.  We really appreciate all of the good feedback.

Thank you to everyone who sent compliments about the wax pictures posted here and on the other site.  We both had a great time doing that scene.  That particular bottom may be showcased in future endeavors.  During the two hour session, we talked about some upcoming possibilities for photo shoots regarding shared interests.  I'm thinking we could have a lot of fun together.

Except for finishing some minor clean-up downstairs, (wax always leaves a bit of a mess) today was more or less a day off.  Even with so many play sessions on the calendar, I couldn't help Myself but to think of how happy I am since making one of the best decisions of My life five months ago and how much better My life is now that I did.  Granted, the first four months after My decision were made difficult by an outside influence.  Yet, even that intrusion never changed the situation.  I wake up every day grateful that I am joyous and free.  Every night, I have peace of mind and drift to sleep.

I never again want to be dragged down.  I hope I never make such a horrible mistake again as to allow such a despicable person in My life.  I am so GLAD to have My life back!!!!


First things first.  Yes, I really do delete friend requests from people that I don't know.  Call Me a stick in the mud, but I happen to be grown.  That means that a "friend" is someone more than somebody who happens to like the pics a person put up on a social site.  Same thing goes for that "Admirers" function.  The only reason I click it is to make the red highlight shut off.  If you like the play shots, that's great, and I'm glad you like the work.  Anything else is kind of frivolous.

Speaking of work, I'm almost done.  The Halloween and Christmas wax set ups are completely finished, including the tea light candles that will be a part of the finished product.  The American flag, including all fifty little stars in wax, is waiting downstairs, ready to be applied.  I went with "Happy 2014" rather than spelling out "Happy New Year" and painted that on a background, rather than making block letters.  The Valentine's Day hearts have been finished and the plan is very specifically to have a female model for that particular scene.  There's just something very girly about it.  More suited for a~~, rather than one of the guys.

The leather flag is the only piece not completed.  The base is done, but not the stripes.  I won't really need that one until next week, so it's not a major upheaval.  It was an either/or proposition.  Finish the leather flag or get a jump on cleaning the joint before people start coming to the house.  I went with the latter.  Wax really does wreck the place and it gets everywhere between cutting, mixing, trimming, and painting.  I fought the good fight keeping it contained for as long as I could, but it got away from Me at some point when My visions in wax got bigger than My kitchen.  Since g~~~~ is supposed to have this big thing for housework, I may be able to use that particular talent.  Great thing about engineers.  They pay great attention to detail.  I wonder if he'd be interested in bartering a few hours of manual labor for detailing his ass. 

We had a great time at the munch today.  I'm really happy to say that we are still getting new people coming in.  One submissive male was a very enjoyable conversationalist and I was pleasantly surprised to find out what business he owns in Fairbanks.  Part of our discussion was about some of his advertising, which has always been very good, in My opinion.  He mentioned that I gave him some of the best feedback he's ever had.  Very pleasant guy.

Of course, being out all day meant the wax being on hold.  I gave up on trying to come up with what to do with the rest of the orange, so it is becoming votive sized candles that will be used for the Halloween shot.  At least they are quicker to make than the taller candles.

Now I'm just sizing people up for who has the right body type for the right designs.  Since dxxx is tall but not very wide, I think he's going to make a good flag.  I may have gxxxx as the Christmas tree, since that will need the most width.  The Valentine's Day hearts will probably work best for axx because of her sleek runner's body.

I may end up doing eight wax scenes, rather than the six that I had originally planned.  I had two people today ask if I'd be willing to add them, and I'd like to make that happen.  There is never a shortage of people who want to experience wax.

We're officially in stage two.  Melting the wax that will become the designs, shapes, and letters for the various holiday wax scenes.  Since I'm working with some rather large blocks of wax, (My gratitude goes to Pxxxxxxx for bestowing these on Me for the purpose of furthering wax play education) there will be more time spent chopping this up than I have in previous rounds of wax creations.  The majority of this week will be spent making all of the prepped pieces that are done before the bottoms become a finished product.  I should be done within the week.

When that week is over, I'll be taking a few days to get the house in order again before having people to the house.  With each round of wax, I find better ways to limit the mess that it creates.  I've rearranged My kitchen (again) to hopefully contain the majority of the damage to one room.

From August 24th - September 1st, I am considering Myself booked.  I have five wax scenes scheduled, two munches, and one good-bye party for a member of the community.  During that time, I'm also going to be assisting with a high protocol Ladies Tea that will be taking place on a yet to be scheduled date sometime after the first.  I will be doing a lot of protocol training with gxxxx to get him ready to be the head server.  In exchange, I'll be getting some of his services as a houseboy for some projects that I want to complete here at home.

During this period, I'm not sure of how much time I will be on the site.  I do try to keep My mail up to date, however, there may be some delay in replies.

The great thing about certain folks in Alaska is they really are willing to make the long drive they have to entail just in order to arrange a play date.  The down side of this is that a host has to worry about their return drive.  Not only does a host have to be concerned that they will have to deal with the after effects of play, but there is also the added factor of the forms of wildlife that tend to wander into the road during the late night hours.  In other words, a host and/or top sits and worries until the other party gets home and sends that text message to say that they are ok.

In Alaska, there is a time period that the sun is up for darn near every hour of the day.  That period is already over for the summer.  We're actually on the downward trend where we are losing daylight each day.  The sun goes down at roughly 10:00 PM and that means most folks are driving home in the dark.  I'm thinking we are now in the season where it is better for some to stay over.  Of course, that mean a little more fun than that person was expecting.

Two things about locations, gentlemen.

The first one is if you are doing a doing a maximum distance search and My profile comes up, chances are that you put in a bogus zip code when filling out your profile.  If you entered any zip code with 999 being the first three digits, no matter what you put in for the last two, that's going to come up as Alaska.  Entering the incorrect zip code for yourself only hurts you if you are trying to find somebody local.  

The second one is to add a comment about My prior journal entry regarding our expected change of location next year.  That was honestly *not* an invitation for a bunch of folks to send emails to ask if I'll be moving to where you live.  No offense to anyone, but My response to such inquiries is going to remain the same.  Unless I already know you from having met you in person, it is not information that I am willing to share with you.

An unexpected development has caused MP and I to potentially change some plans.  Our original plan for when our time was over in Alaska was to try to get MP a slot in CO for his last  couple of years before hitting retirement.  In the last couple of days, we have been discussing an alternative possibility that may have more advantages.  A slot opened up in another location that may be more beneficial for us.  After weighing the pros and cons that the different area has to offer, we agreed that MP would put in for the slot elsewhere.  He heard back from Branch today that the position in that location was his if he wanted it.

Of course, nothing is final until the official papers have been cut.  (Even then, it's not a perfect world, so I don't take these things as guarantees.)  Still, it would be a great way for things to turn out if the proposed location is where we would go from here.  While we have never lived there before, it would put us withing driving distance of certain members of our family, both kinky and non.  (Three day weekends could make round trip visits easily done.)  There is a very active scene in that location from both the BDSM angle and a leather perspective, with several cons a year easily accessible.  I did send out some feelers to various kinky folks in the area to get some feedback.  While not everyone has replied just yet, the ones who have replied so far have had very positive things to say about the community.

It also alleviates the potential problems that moving to CO proposed.  While the chance of issues may be slight, I prefer not having them at all.  The advantage of a new location, rather than going where we had planned prior, will put a final end to the problem.  For this reason, we will also not be disclosing the new location on the public boards and will only be telling trusted people privately.  I'm also toying with the idea of changing My scene name once we arrive there so that the chances of the problem repeating will be eliminated.

That part is nowhere near set it stone.  I've been Lady Pact or LP for darn near a decade now and I'm not really thrilled with the thought of taking up another name.  Still, there's quite a bit of time until then to get used to the idea.

I don't know what happened on the boards today, but I am so glad that I had nothing to do with it.  All I know is, when I looked at the boards when I finished My little cleaning tornado, I saw a seven page thread that hadn't existed the last time I sat down to read, and there's talk of sock puppet accounts.

For anybody who doesn't know, a sock puppet is a poster who creates an alternate account for a deceptive purpose.  Personally, I have a really low opinion of people who do this.  It just goes to show that whoever is behind the sock account is a liar and a low life.  Generally, it's an immediate sign that the person can't be trusted and it's unlikely that anybody can believe a word that comes out of their mouth.  CM had a terrible problem with this once upon a time and it was a huge uproar.  Most of the long term posters that I've had discussions with about the subject of sock puppet profiles tend to view the people who create them as scum suckers and I have to say I agree with that.

On a happier note, phase one of the next series of wax projects has begun.  It's nothing glamorous.  It means cleaning the house from top to bottom so that I reduce the risk of dust or other impurities making their way into the wax.  Basically, this means I'm going to clean the house, to make a mess out of the house working on the wax, so I can clean that up before I have folks over to be turned into wax creations.  All together, this is going to take three to four weeks, depending on how extensive I decide to go with the stencils and such for the shots that I want to create.

Since the project is so big, I'm going to be online a lot less.  Probably even less than I was during the wax prep that I did prior to the camp out.  I'm not making as many candles as I did for that project, but there will be a lot more shapes, letters, and designs that go into this, so it requires more constant attention.

This may be the last big wax project that I do here.  My other half came home with the good news that his replacement for this assignment had the new guy's name on the Gains Report (I think that's what it's called) today.  Basically, that means that they know who will be taking My other half's slot when we leave here and we are on our way to rotating out. 

So, I had a lovely talk with one of the Moderators yesterday.  I received a note to let Me know that some of My journal entries would be deleted.  Evidently, somebody got offended when I said that I was celebrating a particular week long anniversary of peace and quiet.  Generally, if a person doesn't name someone, it's not considered blacklisting but because so many people are aware of the other person and the actions, it's too easy for the average reader to know the subject.  The Mod did volunteer, without prompting, that another person's journal entries would be deleted for the same reason.  I hadn't seen the other journal, so I have no idea of what that is about.  I was told I could repeat the topic of celebrating a week long anniversary, what I did, and how happy I was to reach that week long hallmark.

It wasn't anything terribly special.  I just culminated a week of no disturbance in My life with a nice bath, a new foot scrub, and a bowl of ice cream.  I even mentioned on the prior journal entry that it was probably the most boring journal entry that anybody would ever read.  I guess the person who reported it didn't like it too much.

However, as I told the nice Mod, sooner or later, somebody is going to have to get over their butthurt and accept the fact that I've been happier in the last four months than I have at any other point in the last year.  I have to deal with a lot of stress that has been brought into My life but even dealing with that has been better than the time period before it.  When I play or engage in kink, it's with people that I actually like having around.  When I talk to people, they are people I want to spend My time with, rather than people I'd rather get away from.  I'm so much happier these days.

Sometimes, all it takes is a wonderful day to renew one's faith.

I can't wait to explore fire play further.  The very thought of making new batons excites Me to no end.  The idea of engaging it is taking Me to new heights.

Today was great!  So many things firing off in My brain!  It was an amazing day!

Even cynical Me can't wait!

Some dumbass just used My cell phone number for a childish prank.  They ordered four pizzas at a Little Ceasar's in Augusta, GA under My number.  The pizza joint called to find out if we were coming to pick them up.  It's a shame I was in the shower getting ready for the munch when the call came in.  I probably would have laughed My ass off if I would have answered instead of MP.

Anyway, I'm off to the munch to socialize with kinky folks of the adult variety.  For those who are interested in doing the wax photo shoots, this is the opportunity to make the arrangements.  Some of the creations that I want to make will be needing black and white dye, so I will need to the time to order those and get them delivered *before* the wax scenes can be done.  See My prior journal entry for rules and stipulations.

Time to get back to the wax art

by LadyPact

9 minutes ago

I've had a nice, long break since the camp out on the wax projects. It's time to get started up again! I've been talking about certain wax creations that I have been wanting to make for some time and I'm getting ready to get those in motion. The goal for these serves several purposes. First and foremost, this is about encouraging practices for safe wax play. While any scene has a potential for going wrong, getting those artistic shots up does encourage folks to ask questions and seek education. We (and I say "we" because the wax models have been just as dedicated to this as I have been) have received a fantastic response to the previous shots and a lot of good things have come from it. There's been a lot of 'behind the scenes' requests to know more about safety practices and that's a really good thing.

Of course, being the selfish kind of chick that I am, I have to be honest that there are also great benefits on a personal level. I get to have fun. I get to be creative. Plus, I get to know people a lot better because there is a block of time that is spent on any extensive wax project. I happen to enjoy it and any bonus for me is always good. So far, the wax models have enjoyed it, too, even though doing wax for pictures isn't quite the same as doing a wax "scene".

So, this post is about two things. The first is making my artistic visions come to life. I want to do some holiday themed wax art. I have some holiday designs that I would like to come to life on a human canvas. Themes like Christmas, Halloween, Valentine's Day, and a Leather Pride flag are on the agenda. I'd like to do at least six, so if anybody has good ideas for them, I'd love to hear it. Please remember that part of the goal here isn't to be overly complicated. It's about showing people what is relatively simple to do on their own.

The other is about wax models. Being a wax model is a little different than consenting to a short wax scene. As the wax shots are taking off, there are some things that are required.......

1. I use both male and female models. I am not terribly concerned with body type, but I do require the removal of body hair prior to waxing. There will be open flame and I want clean shots.

2. All wax models are required to sign a release granting permission for me to post pics on social media. Having a person's face showing is not a requirement. However, pictures of the wax work (shoulder to hips) are kind of the point.

3. Wax models do have to travel to me. These kinds of shots are not something that can be done at the community dungeon because of the time involved. Expect even simple art to take anywhere from two - three hours, depending on the detail. That's too long to take up a station at a community dungeon.

Which leads to.......

4. Wax models have to be able to commit to a time block. Don't schedule if you can't show and pretty much count on this taking up at least half of your day.

5. I don't care if you are D or s. What I care about is that you will bottom for some wax. All of my general rules apply. These are not sexual scenes. It's not "if you do me, I'll do you". No switching is involved. If you are collared to someone, I want that person's permission to use you. Couples are welcome, but I'm running the show. This is not an opportunity for single tops to get their freak on.

6. I prioritize. Prior wax models who want to schedule get the first shot. People who have been to my home and have already been vetted are next. I'm not interested in "hey, I saw it on the net" kind of stuff.


I'm starting to consider adding that I consider myself to be sapiosexual in my profile.  I really don't consider myself to be the brightest bulb in the shed, so it might be somewhat hypocritical.  However, when I see so many folks become confused about simple topics related to the lifestyle, I wonder why they struggle with concepts that seem to be relatively common sense.  I suppose it's very much like anything else.  Those who are good at math have trouble understanding why others aren't good at math when it comes so easily to them.

Most topping skills aren't that difficult to acquire.  I happen to be of the opinion that a good number of people have assets they've obtained from life experiences that apply very easily to the kink world.  It's just that most don't see the connection.

The same goes for D/s, really.  All people have relationships.  Whether they be with family, friends, or other connections.  The rules for how someone deals with vanilla folks doesn't necessarily change just because someone is kinky.  I can't say how many times I've heard/read that the worst way to approach a woman is to lead with the kinks.  Why would anybody think this would work?  I'd really hate to think that some have so few social skills that they would walk up to a vanilla woman and start telling her what he liked to do with his dick.  Maybe I'm a prude, but I have a suspicion that most women want to actually like the person/people that they would consider being sexual with.  Even if that does make me a prude, I'm actually kind of cool with that.

I think that's what appeals to me about the label sapiosexual.  A person who can engage my mind is infinitely more attractive than someone who leads with their sexuality or their fetishes.

Had a really good time last night but I admit to being tired.  I wore a pair of heels that I haven't had on for some time.  Elegant step and doesn't wear heels often don't exactly coexist well.  Those black sandals made Me remember why I switched to playing in the wide heeled boots.  LOL.


It's a shame that I can't talk about play dates/parties prior to them happening anymore.  MP and I figure it's safer that way.  Yes, it means going to bed late and getting up early to put toys away before somebody calls a cop, but it's a small price to pay.  Some people will continue to try to make another unhappy, even when they aren't a part of their life.  I refuse to let somebody else have that kind of power over Me.  Even if that means I have to keep having friends over for BBQs unmentioned until after the event is over.


I'm thinking we'll take a well deserved nap.

Thank you, too, hon.  Kinky dreams right back atcha.

Missing My friend in GA tonight.  Enjoy the tacos.

Greatly enjoyed My email exchanges tonight.  You know who you are.

As of 06/11/13, I added the following text to My profile:

Note added as of 06/11/13:  All bottoms that are pictured in My profile here have given specific consent for their shots to be posted.  The wax, fire, and needle play pics are all from scenes where I was the top and/or presenter on the subject.

Please be assured that I do not post pics of other people without obtaining their consent first.  I do this when the shots are being taken *and* prior to posting on any social site.  If I did not have permission to post them, the shots wouldn't be here.

CM only allows fourteen pics to be displayed.  With this in mind, I've had to choose very carefully about the shots that I wanted to post.  There are quite a few more on the 'other site' but I don't have the same amount of liberty on this one.  I'm the same name 'over there' as I am on here, so if you are interested in seeing all of the shots, I'm afraid I have to direct you to the other place.

If you know Me or follow My journals, you might be asking yourself right about now why I am making such a big deal about these pictures.  Well, part of it is that I want to show the play shots that can be done safely.  Another part is that I want people to know that some of us tops really are ethical about obtaining consent about the shots we post.  I'm even willing to admit that some of it is about My ego and saying, hey, I created that. This is particularly true when it comes to the extensive wax shots. 

Also, changing the pics around has something to do with My personal decision to completely eradicate a past person from My life.  I'm working on it here first and will be doing the same on the other site.  I don't even want so much as a picture of him.  The farther I distance Myself, the happier I will be.

What a wonderful trip!  I can't remember the last time I had such a perfect mini vacation.

I can't speak for other folks but when I'm looking forward to an excursion, I tend to get really excited and plan to do more than I could ever possibly do.  Then, when I'm busy having fun, I forget to do some of the things that I planned.  I either forget to take a certain picture, run out of time to do everything, or overlook that I double scheduled for the same time period.  Something.

Not this time!  We did everything that we planned to do and then some!  I got My quiet moments by the lake.  I got My time laughing with My friends.  I got the pictures that I had wanted.  The baby ducks weren't as cooperative this year, but that had something to do with the bald eagle who decided he wanted to be a part of the camping trip, too.  There were still baby ducks, but they only came around for very limited visits.  There was canoodling.  (You'd have to know.)  I got to attend the classes that other folks were giving.  My wax class went off without a single hitch and we got fantastic pictures of the decorative work.  Even the time allotment was a perfect ninety minutes.  All kinds of wax shots.  Ones from the class and two other prepped pieces that I had made specifically for the weekend.  (Those are going to take forever to load and post on the other site.  LOL.)  Along with the wax, I can't even remember how many times I played!  Got in My impact time *AND* some spectacular stuff with needles.  I was quite endorphin happy going to bed each night.

The brunches and dinners were absolutely wonderful food!  (None of which I had to cook.)  Some of the best people to spend time with in the entire state.  New friends, old friends, wonderful, caring, and supportive friends.  Even one friend I haven't seen in over three years!  I hadn't made the connection that I had met one of our presenters at a party at Merc and beth's place all that time ago.  Kind of funny when a well known actress from recognizes you and tells you that she remembers you from years ago.  That chick either has a fantastic memory or I must have made an impression.

The best part was that MP and I got to spend such a fantastic time together.  We spent every minute just being happy.  From the excitement that we shared as we were leaving the house, all through the fun we had at the camp out, to the hot springs, to the relaxing drive back spotting the moose......  Everything was wonderful.  He did everything in his power to make sure that we had the best time possible.

We're tired, happy, itchy from lots of mosquito bites, and thankful for every minute of the wonderful memories.

Off to the camp out for the next four days.  I'll answer emails when I return.

l4L. you are a good friend.

The problem with packing everything so early is that you just come up with more ideas for things to pack!  Geez, I've already got everything but the kitchen sink.  At some point, the stuff isn't going to fit in the truck anymore.

How often does this happen?  My bathing suit from three years ago still fits!  Will need it for the Survivor's Soak.


It's been so long since I've been to a natural hot springs!

OK.  This is just funny.

Me, of all people, is sitting here playing text tag.  I keep My nails kind of long, so text isn't My best medium.  I don't care for the phone much and the other person doesn't have net at the moment.  So here I am, texting back and forth for the last hour.  LOL.  Is this dumb or what?

Since I can't pay attention to an actual thread, I guess I'll journal.  I generally don't do two entries in the same day, but what the hell.

A slice of vanilla life.  We got new neighbors.  I didn't think they were moving anybody into the old units still now that they have the new units up.  (Rather nice ones, if you ask Me.)  The old family that lived there moved out because he was retiring.  I almost felt bad when Yipper (My nickname for their dog) was going.  He was the cutest little Dachshund who had to have a path shoveled through their yard because he refused to go through the snow to pee.  True story.

The new family moved in rather quickly.  (I have serious doubts about the house being presentable so soon.  If you've ever rented, you know what they charge for the supposed "cleaning" that they do.  <Insert eyeroll.>)  Seems to be a single Dad, his father, and kids.  Yipper was replaced with a very quiet Collie pup.  I think the Grandfather is the primary caregiver for the kids while the single Dad works.  If there is a wife, she hasn't shown up yet.

MP and I were discussing how this might be a good thing.  We do have the camp out in just a few days and it might be a good idea to have someone who has been introduced to us and would know to make a call if there were any problems with the house while we are gone.  Always better safe than sorry.


The official countdown has begun!  In exactly one week, I will be sitting at the Alaskan Kinky Camp Out without a care in the world.  No disturbances.  No intrusions.  Just four days of kinky fun surrounded by good people, companions, and friends.  OK, and a few mosquitoes.  A can of bug spray can fix that.  Wouldn't it be great it you could get rid of every pest that way?  Just spray it and poof!  Never to be seen again.  LOL.

With the candle orders for everyone completed and packaged, now I'm just working on the ones that will be for My use.  I could still sell off three more rainbow packs and have plenty left over, if I were so inclined.  I did promise that I wouldn't close sales until June first and I'm able to keep that open with enough breathing room to be prepared.  All colors, designs, and stencils will be done by then.  If I'm still making clear in the beginning of next week, that's not an issue.  There's a lot less work if it's just pouring the plain wax into molds.  I can get a lot of other things done around those because they don't need the same time and attention.

One great thing about all of the wax work.  It's a fantastic way to thin out your closet!  Just wear the stuff you were going to throw out anyway.  I came across a couple of shirts that I no longer wanted because of who gave them to Me.  A perfect solution to getting rid of things that I wanted gone and not destroying anything that I want to keep.

The good part about the modem fizzing out is that no internet for a day allowed for a lot of creativity in the wax department.  I made two additional prepped pieces that will be used during the camp out.  One says "Xxx's girl" because I'm using a good friend's slave as the demo bottom.  The other is for a shot to promote the event itself, which reads "Alaskan Kinky Camp Out". 

The bad part about the modem fizzing out is that I've had a bunch of email to catch up on.  I think I'm done at this point.  Of course, that only lasts until the responses to the responses come in. 

I have two more males that are willing to do wax shoots.  Both seem to be rather nice guys, though I am just getting to know them.  More good camp out opportunities!

Happy Memorial Day!  May we remember the fallen.

I almost feel guilty.  It's a long weekend due to a holiday that was established for fallen servicemen and women, and all I've been doing is having fun, enjoying the beautiful weather, spending time with friends, and working with wax.  I've had the greatest weekend so far.  I even started talking with a new friend who might just end up being a new play partner!

I have to admit, I'm a bit happy about the possibilities.  I don't think he's going to be a needle guy right off of the bat but the potential is there.  Definitely into some of the same things I'm into, yet took the smart route and didn't bombard Me with a kinky laundry list.  (Take note of that, guys.  It's a good approach that WORKS.)  Yes, he's new to the area and is interested in being a part of the community.  Big plus.

In other news, I want to thank everybody who complimented the wax pics, both here and on the other site.  There has been a lot of positive feedback and I want everyone to know how much it is appreciated.

For the past year, I've been saying that encouraging folks about education and safe wax play has been My personal crusade.  Over this past weekend, it's becoming something of a community mission.  Of course, a big thanks on this goes to a and t who were willing to be wax models and giving their consent to post the pics.  Their time and patience has been fantastic.

Also, two people have stepped forward to be willing to donate supplies!  It's not a findomme thing, so please take that idea right out of the head.  These are actually two male Doms who want to contribute substantial amounts of wax so that it can be used for educational purposes.  I can't thank them enough for their generosity!

Of course, My other half, always supportive of My projects, just smiled at Me, saying he is happy because I am happy.  He never gives Me shit because of the mess, the kitchen being torn up, or the fact that he's not getting gourmet meals out of the kitchen because there is really limited space out there.  In fact, he'll be cooking for Me today, which gives Me more time to work.

Today's journal entry is brought to you by the color green, which is finally in progress after finishing and cleaning up from blue.

Still uploading the wax pics on the other site.  Had a great time with t!

Excellent time with the wax tonight!  I wasn't sure how long the bottom was going to be able to be still, so we only did from nipples to just below the rib cage.  I was completely impressed with the patience, obedience, and willingness to please.  Couldn't ask for more from a wax bottom. 

Some of the pics are completely wonderful.  I'm particularly fond of the shot of the votives lit on a's (initial, rather than full name) chest with the additional candles lit in the background.  Not that a needed the flames to be luminous.  If I get My way, there will definitely be more wax sessions to come.  We've already discussed doing a larger area to cover in wax the next time.  More like nipples to navel, rather than stopping at the rib cage.  Definitely putting more votives on as well. 

There is nothing like a good wax scene to bring a calming influence.  I know some tops that get bored just dripping wax, but I'm certainly not one of them.  I always get My own little bit of happy on My side of things. 

I have another wax model coming tomorrow, who for posting purposes, I will call t.  She's going to be coming over much earlier so we can do two different designs.  Nothing terribly extensive but probably two different layouts of three hours each.  Since it's Memorial Day weekend, I might make one of them a red and blue canvas.  I'll see what happens as the mood strikes Me.

Dang it!  Last two orange candles were poured too hot, so the wells were awful.  Also, I think they were too hot.  This will put Me off by four hours in getting the next color made.  I'm really starting to wish that I had bought an additional mold.  I'm still working with just two of the 1 and 3/4" size and that can limit the progress.

It's very weird to think that no contact from one particular person, rather than be directly, through friends or other methods is actually a stress free day!  I know I shouldn't get My hopes up that such intrusions are finally over.  I've thought that too many times before only to have it come right back up again.  Maybe this time, it will stick.

In happy news, candles are still coming along great!  Clears (meaning void of any kind of dye) are finished and the reds and yellows are almost done.  Then, to avoid too stark of a color change, I'll get the orange started.  Greens, blues, and violets after that.  I have to get a minimum of two of the rainbow packs done to be ready for the sets to be picked up by Friday, so I'm close on the timeline.

I have two wax models over the weekend, so actually making candles will be on hold over those days.  No point in working on the product so much that I can't have a little fun of My own.  After so much stress, it will be great to engage in such a calming and soothing type of play.

Funny.  So many complaints about Dommes who are just after money.  Yet, here I am busting My own tail to make sure wax play candles are available so people can play safely.  Yep.  I'm sure there are a lot of folks out there who think I'm doing it wrong.  LOL.

As Ron White says, you can't fix stupid.

I'm a little on the disappointed side that the email My other half received from the Chaplain, which he specifically printed up to show Me, was forgotten when he came home for lunch.  I laughed My ass off when I was told about this nice little exchange.  Basically, it is a recount of the Chaplain telling a third party to knock off the crap and that we just want the third party to leave us alone.  I'm sure the Chaplain was more diplomatic about it than I would have been.  Then again, I've only had to say it on several occasions over the last couple of months and I'm somewhat sick of repeating Myself. 

Being the common sense kind of gal that I am, I honestly don't understand what kind of twit gets put out of a person's life for dishonesty, passive aggressive behavior, etc, and then thinks that more of the same is going to be some kind of endearing quality.  I mean, really.  Who thinks like that?  Who honestly believes that somebody would *want* a manipulative person as a part of their life?

Consider this a form of a public service announcement.  If a person tells you they want you out of their life, and they say it multiple times, take their word for the fact that they really do want you out of their life.  Don't go grasping at straws to remain in their life.  Just leave her alone.  Leave her family alone.  Leave her friends, her community, and certainly people like employers and Chaplains alone.  When you don't, all you are doing is making the woman even more glad that you *aren't* in her life and never will be again.

An open letter to those who want to constantly complain that they can't find people to play with them........


Have you considered getting into wax play?  I kid you not, there is no faster way to get bottoms lining up at your door.  All you have to do is be a safe player and have a supply of paraffin.  You don't have to do much more than that.  You'll spend a considerable time writing emails turning folks *down* because you are so booked. 


If you need hints on playing with wax safely, I will happily provide info.

Glad I came back downstairs since I couldn't sleep.  I had turned the temp down too low on the stove and the wax for the candles was too cool.  I went ahead and poured it into the molds, anyway.  I figure the worst that can happen is that those two candles won't be for sale and I'll use them for the demo at the camp out.

I should have My tail in bed so I'm not dragging like the walking death at the munch tomorrow.

We will be attending the Fairbanks community munch on Saturday, May 18th from 1:00 - 3:00 PM.  Due to renovations that are currently under way at the Food Factory, we'll be meeting at the BBQ joint.  Information on location can be obtained on the events page on the other site.

This munch is one of the opportunities to register for the Alaskan Kinky Camp Out.  Printed copies of the waivers necessary to attend will be available, as well as the opportunity to pre-pay for the event. 

Also, this is one of the munches that I will be accepting orders for candles for wax play for those who want to have them in time for the camp out.  There will not be candles "for sale" at the camp out unless they have been specifically ordered.  I will only be taking orders until May 30th to ensure they will be ready by June 6th.  All candles are made with paraffin wax and colors created with skin safe dye. Price varies according to height and can be anything from a one inch tall votive up to a six and a half inch tall. Colors available are clear, yellow, orange, red, green, blue, and lavender. Multi-layer candles can be done, but take longer to create.  Prepaid orders always receive bonus candles.

There will be a wax class as a part of the Kinky Camp Out.  Private instruction for safe way play can also be done during any of the open dungeon hours.

I am in the process of removing pics from the profile that identify another person that I no longer want to be associated with.  Since that person is no longer in My life, I felt it best to remove all facial photos that are not of Me or My husband.


In the coming weeks, I will be adding new play shots.

I'm going to try to condense some various writings from elsewhere to create a proper journal entry here.  Keeping things short and to the point isn't My strong suit these days.  I have been a rather proficient poster on this past week or so.  Unfortunately, CM is once again in another lull in regard to interesting topics, or at least the things that interest Me.  Due to this, I've been more active there than I have here.

In writing this entry, I just realized that I had not updated My profile here.  I had missed changing the text to reflect that I released the person who was collared to Me.  This was an oversight on My part and it has now been corrected.

The time period from releasing that person to present is the subject of this journal entry.  No, the details about the release or the specifics of why I wanted to release the other person are not going to be posted here.  Publicly, there has been one sentence posted.  "The person wearing the collar had no longer earned the right to do so."  Anything about the why(s) have been answered privately.  Generalizations may be on threads in the future if a topic about a similar situation may happen if I feel relating a non-identifying experience from My life will help somebody else. 

Some have chastised Me because I have said that I am not grieving.  I understand why I am not because I know the circumstances.  There may be times that readers do not understand because they did/do not know the circumstances.  This is the best I can do without being specific about details.  Some people will understand that and others will not.  I'm sure there will be some that will tell Me that I'm doing it wrong no matter what I do.

Rather than grieving, I feel it is more accurate to call it processing.  The prior chapter of My life is closed.  I'm not rushing into the next chapter.  In the last couple of days, I've had the first few thoughts of moving ahead.  It's not a case of where I'm rushing out to start a new dynamic.  However, there have been two or three instances of recognizing that processing is becoming complete and progress is starting.  The chapter that closed isn't the end of the book.  I am going to want another dynamic at some point.

It is not My place to say whether the other person is mourning the loss of the dynamic or if he will be ready to move on at the same rate as I am.  That rate of healing is not My responsibility.  It is also not My obligation to put My life on hold while he completes his process.  One is going to happen faster than the other and there is not much that can be said about that.

Off for a few days to the Alaskan Kinky Camp Out.  Four days of relaxation, outdoor play, and any debauchery that I can come up with.  I will have no internet out in the woods, so I won't be returning emails until at least Tuesday.

I'm very excited to be one of the presenters for Northern Exposure 3!  This is Alaska's three day leather event held on June 15-17 in 2012.  Ten presenters will be giving thirty-five classes over the course of those three days.  The official program hasn't been chosen just yet, so I can't promise exactly which classes I will be giving.  All I can say is that I have given the producer seven options to chose from and no matter which ones will make it to the program, will be fun and informative. 


The website will be up soon.  Expect more details to follow.

I've come to truly enjoy having a submissive who gets home each day before I do.  There is nothing more wonderful than to come in with the house already straightened and something delicious being prepared in the kitchen.  Seeing the table laid and just the finishing touches necessary for a lovely dinner.  What woman wouldn't smile to see a handsome man who has spent his time after his own day to make sure everything is just so for Me to arrive?

"Hello gorgeous," I called out to him with a huge grin on My face.  "What do you have out there that smells so good?"  I close the door quietly behind Me so that it is My voice that he hears first and he will know to come and greet Me for the evening. 

At seeing Me, a smile lights up his face, and makes his way toward Me.  "Hello Mistress," he says as he walks toward Me.  I kiss him before he has the chance to answer My question and caress his cheek.  "I thought it would be best to make something light.  I didn't forget that we have an appointment to keep."

"Yes," I replied.  "My nails will only need a quick touch up, but I don't want them looking too shabby.  I was thinking a nice red to match the blouse that I had planned to wear.  That with My black skirt with that sexy little slit up the side should give Me just the look that I am going for.  Just perfect with that pair of heels that I had you spruce up."

The smile on his face lessens just a bit.  There is the look in his eyes that I enjoy so much.  That hint of what will go through his mind while I'll be out later this evening.  I wrap My arm around his waist so I can pull My body closer to his, then give him a soft tap on the behind as a reminder of just exactly who owns him.  "Go on now.  We can't ruin the time table or dinner," I tell him.  "Scoot back in the kitchen so we can keep everything on schedule."  My soft chuckle is just enough for him to hear as he turns to do as he's told.

A short time later, My boy and I are having a quick dinner.  He is a bit quieter than normal over dinner, but I am chatting away enough for both of us.  He knows that I get terribly excited about going out for a special kind of evening.  He is a bit curious about where I will be going this evening.  Of course, his first concern is that I will be in a safe area.  Do I expect My friend to be on time so I won't be made to wait.  I know the questions he would like to ask.  They are secondary, but they are still there.  Is the little cafe where I will be frequented by anyone that we know?  What might someone of our acquaintance see if they should happen to notice Me out with My new friend?

Such a good submissive though.  He doesn't ask those latter questions.  He reminds Me of the time instead so I have the opportunity to freshen up before leaving to have My nails painted.  We leave for the shop just a few minutes later to keep the appointment.  Our chat continues there as well.  I'm sure that the gal painting My nails assumes that we are talking about My sub and I going out on the town together.  My sub wonders if she knows that I'll really be spending the evening with someone else. 

She finishes the job in no time.  Even a bit earlier than I had planned.  I remind My sub to pay the gal and to please give her a nice tip since I had wanted My nails to look good for the special evening.  He didn't really need the reminder, as he is always so good about what I need.  I tell him that there's nothing like a new coat of polish to make a woman feel sexy.  I motion to him so that I can whisper in his ear to say that I may already be getting turned on in anticipation. 

Once home again, My boy and I go upstairs.  I love these opportunities for him to help Me dress.  I certainly wouldn't want My new polish to smudge.  We both know that isn't the only reason that I want his help.  As he removes the clothes that I've been wearing, he gets to notice that I didn't mislead him about My anticipation.  All of the physical signs of My arousal are present.  I tell him that I think it might be wise for Me to freshen up a bit and he should take out the bra and panty set that will match the blouse that I will be wearing.  I'm sure he knows knows the ones.  He loves seeing Me in them.

He has them ready when I return and I have him dress Me in fresh lace.  I take just a couple of steps back and ask him how he likes seeing Me in them.  Not that I really need to ask.  Some replies aren't verbal.  I step closer to him again so he can help Me with My thigh highs and slip the shoes on My feet.  I repeat the same, stepping back and asking him if seeing Me dressed to this point would inspire him to want to please Me.  "Yes, Mistress," he replies and I hear the sexy tone to his voice.  "I promise to still be wearing it when I come home," I tell him.  "Until then, I think I had better wear something over it, at least for at the cafe."

The wonderful thing about your submissive dressing his Dominant is that he's almost required to kneel.  I get to see him on his knees while he slips Me into My skirt and zippers it.  I'm in such a generous mood that I don't even scold him for tracing his hand up My thigh.  "It's evidently working on you," I say playfully.  "You'll have to keep that in mind, won't you?"

"I'm sure I will, Mistress.  It will help to keep me waiting for you." 

"Of course, and I should only be gone for a few hours," I tell him softly.  "If all goes well, I'm sure I'll want a warm bath and a glass of wine when I get home.  Maybe with that lavender scented oil that I enjoy so much.  While I am out, I'll expect you to bring home a bottle of white wine.  The rest of the time, you can run some towels so they will be fresh for when I get back."  I wonder to Myself if I have the time to whisper a few sexy things in his ear to stir him up just a little more as he is buttoning My blouse.  I decide better of it, as I don't want him too turned on before I leave.  It might ruin the fun if he was sure that I was going to have My way with him when I return.

I check the clock on the wall and tell him that I have to be heading out.  I should be just on time to meet My new friend by leaving now.  I tell My boy to kiss Me as I grab My purse to head out.  I remind him again that I won't be long.

"Think of Me while I am gone," I say before I cross the threshold on My way out.  I smile as I close the door, knowing that is exactly what he will do.




Plans are all set for the weekend!  Can't wait to see you there!

Very few threads pull Me out of hibernation anymore.  I'm more likely to send a person a private comment if what they have posted intrigues Me in some way.  This is attributed to My low opinion of some of the methods that certain people have been using the forums in ways that I find distasteful on a personal level.  I'm really not big on people inventing new identities for the purpose to fool other people into thinking they are someone else.  I don't have two different sets of standards regarding character when it comes to My interactions in the real world and those I use on the internet.  I can't say that I think much of those who feel differently.  I value honestly a great deal and am pretty harsh when it comes to the reasons people use to justify their actions.  Getting kicks over who you can fool doesn't rate high.

I'm sure there are folks reading thinking this is all about having a bad experience with somebody that I met in real life or a person I was attempting to get to know via email.  It's not.  It has everything to do with the ridiculous level that sock-puppets have become on the forums.  In the last six months or so, it's just become more dishonesty than what I am willing to deal with.  I understand the position of the site in their predicament of how to determine the best way to handle this and how much leeway they must permit their guests, but the site has to use a much greater latitude than My personal feelings.

At the same time, I am not "the site" and I do not have to invest time or keystrokes on those who have contributed to what exists now.  Frankly, I don't want to have people who lie to Me in My personal life.  I don't want it with those I associate with on the net, either.  From private discussions, I know that I'm not alone in this.  It's sad, but it is out of our control.




The irony of the way folks of different genders get treated at times never ceases to amaze Me.  From watching how some people feel the need to pick at those who are just starting out here, I can just imagine how they would have a field day with Me if I happened to be male.


You have pics of other people on your profile!


Somehow, this is supposed to be a cardinal sin.  I'm not talking about that category  of folks who rip off another person's pic from the internet.  I don't think people should misrepresent themselves trying to pass off an image that isn't their own.  At the same time, the site says that it should be a pic of you or a picture that you took yourself.  Yes, I think it's appropriate to get permission from the person of whom the picture was taken, but why do people always jump to conclusions that someone hasn't done that?  I've had play shots on My profile from demos for years here.  It's fire play so that means he's naked.  If I were a guy who had a naked shot of a chick, even if it's an action shot of play, people would be having a fit.



Your profile is only about kink, with no vanilla interests!


If I were a guy, people would be nailing Me for this one, too.  Darn near all of My profile is about kink and the BDSM community.  In all seriousness, the kink (not sex) is My primary purpose for being on the site.  Kink *is* the common interest here.  When I'm negotiating a scene, I'm not asking the person I'm playing with how much they love amusement parks or if they hate antiquing.  I care what we have in common about kink!  Do we have the same concept of D/s or do we have compatible interests for My topping to your bottoming?  That's what I want to know.



If you only want to play, you'd better hire someone!


Sorry, but I'd fail here as well.  I have every respect for folks who do not want to engage in casual play.  At the same time, I think that has to go both ways.  There are plenty of people in the BDSM community who enjoy casual play.  I'm a sadist.  I happen to like going to play parties and beating people.  That's My primary reason for going to events.  (Socializing is the secondary reason.)  I want to have fun hurting people.  If I'm at a play party and someone tells Me that they want a spot on the dance card, it's like music to My ears.  It's kind of the point of going to the dungeon in the first place.



And the ever popular......


If you're married, your spouse needs to post here, too!



No, it really doesn't work like that.  Yes, I know.  Everybody always assumes that somebody is cheating if the spouse isn't as active on a message board.  What can I say?  My other half just isn't all that interested in this place.  It's not like My play partners don't meet him at the local munch.  If there's not blood, needles, or cbt involved, he might even watch the scene like anybody else at the play party.  He's just glad that I'm not beating him!  I mean, think about it.  If you weren't a submissive or a masochist and you were married to a sadistic, Dominant woman, wouldn't *you* be glad that it wasn't you on the cross when I want to cause pain? 


Yes, if you are going to play, meet the spouse.  The 'online presence' part doesn't matter all that much.  I'll be glad to introduce you in person.




The point of all this is, I'm not special in any of this stuff just because I'm a chick.  It doesn't matter that I've got a number of years in wiitwd and somebody else might be just starting out.  I even get that a ton of people aren't honest about these kinds of things because they are just on the internet.  All I'm saying is that it isn't wise to make assumptions about folks based on the factors that I've mentioned in this paragraph.  If you're going to nail somebody for these kinds of things, you might as well say the same things about Me.  You'd be wrong, but I'm sure we can settle that.




Regards In Kink,


Lady Pact



Had an absolutely fabulous time at the "Lights Out Freak Out" party put on by our special hosts.  Great decor and tons of fun.  Thanks to the folks who were interested in learning Fire Play.  There are some pictures available from that, but they are listed elsewhere.  I very much enjoyed the people who wanted to play and thank you for the honor. 



In Kink,


Lady Pact

Fire demo Oct 15!

Just a week away!  Northern Exposure 2.0.  The closer it gets, the more excited I am about going.  From everything that I'm reading, it's going to be a great event.

I have a lot of activities coming up in  My world so I may not be around the site much.  I will be keeping up with email as I can, but due to the amount of time I will have invested in other things, there might be some delays.  With this in mind, I am creating this journal entry to communicate the schedule for those who need the information.  If you need more than what is provided here, I will try to answer inquiries as soon as possible.

Thursday 3/10 - Committee meeting SLOLOCK 7:00 PM.  This is not an open munch.  This is a meeting for those members on the voting council and various committee members for the planning and organizing of SLOLOCK events,

Friday 3/11 - Prep and practice run of "Intro to Fire Play" demo.  A demo shouldn't be all work, should it now?

Saturday 3/12 - Split between two events.  I will be at the SLOLOCK public munch in the afternoon.  The event will be open to all people interested in becoming members of SLOLOCK and those who are interested in being invited to private events and becoming vetted members of the group.  Many of our activities are not open to the public, so this is the opportunity to come out and meet members of the voting council so attending the private events is possible.

The second event I will be at will be the play party held by TGIF in Fresno.  To the best of My knowledge, the play parties sponsored by TGIF are only for their members and guests.

Sunday 3/13 - SLOLOCK by invitation only event "Intro to Fire Play" with Lady Pact.  This is a short, very basic starter class for those who are interested in learning fire play and fire cupping.  Don't buy expensive materials.  Get started with the items that you already probably have in your own house!  A ten dollar donation to SLOLOCK allows admission to the demo, a goody bag, and play after we're through.  Doors open at 10:00 and we ask that everyone arrive by 10:30 so we can start promptly at 11:00 AM.

Monday 3/14 - Wednesday 3/16 - The "Bye Bye baron camping trip".  Again, this is for vetted members of SLOLOCK only.  I won't be at the camp site for the entire three days but I will be making a few visits.  I will definitely be there during the sub hunt!

Thursday 3/17 - Council meeting for SLOLOCK.  This is for the seven members of the voting council only.

Friday 318 - Wow!  I think this day is actually free!  I might have to work on that.

Saturday 3/19 - Bakersfield Munch Group and play party.  Munch is at 5:00 PM at our "new" location.  Play party follows at our dungeon.  Cost is whatever you order in food at the restaurant.  Admission to the dungeon is $15.00.  This month is our toy buy, sell, and trade opportunity.

I can answer some questions about the above.  None of these activities will be posted in the "Upcoming Events" section here as many of them are invitation only or private events.  Please see any of the calendars of specific groups for further information.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact

I will be one of the tops involved in the December Tastings event today.  A great opportunity for people to come out and get a 'taste' of varios kinds of play.  I'll be at the waxing stations, so please feel free to come and say hello.
Out of town for the auction.
I have to admit, I find it a bit funny reading the forums to see comments about how slave auctions aren't real.  Well, they're not real in the human traffic type of way, where you buy someone and they belong to you for the rest of their days.  However, they are real in the sense of having fun with your munch group for the evening.  If your munch group is tired of the same old, same old; a themed event like a slave auction can be the way to go.

With just a little over a week to go before our auction, I couldn't be happier with the number of people who are coming from all around the area for the event.  The role play stories that the folks have come up with to explain why they are being 'sold' have been so creative and entertaining.  It's giving people a chance to have fun with the idea, not just on the night of the event, but the weeks leading up to it as well.  It's creating a great energy before our auction is even held.

For those who are coming to the event, thank you for your RSVP and I can't wait to see you there!
I'm coming baaaacccckkkk.  Yep, right back to Augusta.  I should be there by Monday. 
Anybody interested in some fun?
I miss you, too.

With Love and Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
Dear Ladies, Gentlemen, M types, D types, and s types of CM and all else,

For those who are not interested in the personal updates in the lives of other forum regulars, please feel free to pass this post by.  This has not been My personal experience in My time here on CM.  With this in mind, I am creating this post.

Many here have been exceptionally supportive of clip's military service.  It is My great pleasure to tell you that his deployment is now over.  As of this writing, he is officially in the air on his way home.  On behalf of Myself and My slave, I would like to thank you for all of your support that has helped us in this separation, which will soon be coming to a close.

Unfortunately, this event has been overshadowed by another.  Late last evening, MisterP's father lost his battle with cancer and has passed away. 

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
We had a wonderful time at the Bakersfield munch last night.  It was a pleasure meeting everyone and we hope to see you again soon.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
It's rare that I use My journal for these kinds of things, but I'm thinking that it is necessary.  Consider it an open letter to those of you who have been contacting.

As I don't want this to come off as completely negative, I do want to take this opportunity to thank those of you who have been offering good suggestions since I have moved here.  I've received everything from information on munch groups, to good restaurants, to just about any other thing you can imagine.  As the new gal in town, I've appreciated this and would like to thank you for your effort.

While I've been very happy with My welcome here, I do have to say that it has also come with it's drawbacks.  My relocation has not changed My interests.  Those can be found in My profile.  No matter what you include in your email to Me, you are not going to change them.  Two things that I want to stress here:

1.  I am not interested in you if you are not convenient to My location.  I can not stress this enough.

2.  Even if you are local, if I am not interested in you for whatever reason, I am going to ask you to respect that.

A few other quick points. 

There are a number of groups located within the state.  I'm still looking to see which group offers the most in comparison to distance.  If your group is four hours away, I'm probably not driving there just to have dinner.  While I understand that most groups want to vet members in some way before allowing someone new to attend play parties, let's be reasonable.  The same goes for BDSM clubs.  My references are pretty good and I'm sure I can meet any challenge that you have for membership.

Emails.  I tend to answer most emails, except for those where it is apparent that it has been originated by some kind of HNG.  If you can't come up with some thing more extensive than "hello" and less than a biography of your life story, then we are not a good match from the start.

Profile views/friends/admirers.  I will not respond if you just repeatedly look at My profile.  If you're not brave enough to send an email, that's your loss.  Do not send Me some silly "friend" invitation.  How can you be My friend if you don't know Me?  The same for admiring Me.  If what you admire is the picture, I find that rather shallow.

Please understand that there are a good many of you contacting Me.  If I do not answer your email, consider that an answer in and of itself.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
I am having so much fun in CA!  A few boys have caught My eye and I can't wait to go further.

The house is wonderful.  It will make for a great place for high protocol events.  In the future, I might be looking for cooks and servers for these occasions.  I'm thinking a Madame's brunch to start before going into full play parties.  Participation and support will determine that.

I still need a local masochist or sub to fill My needs.  The opportunity won't last forever.

Just to keep everyone updated, I will be having very little internet contact for the new few days.  I won't be on the boards as often and there will be a delay in answering emails. 

For those folks who I'll be meeting in Devner along the way, I can't wait to see you!

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
To The Organizers Of The Fly By Night Auction:

It is with great joy that we kindly accept the invitation of the FBN staff to attend this wonderful event. The timing for this particular occasion could not be better.

As the staff may recognize, times have been hard for the House of Pact. When Mister Pact left for his travels to the Far East, the House was left to his good wife, the Lady Pact. She had within her care members of the house that would see to her, and see to the house. Well trained in service, ever vigilant in their duties, the house of Pact shined.

To Mister Pact's dismay, the Lady of Pact often used the members of the house for her own perverted pleasures. She did what some would consider terrible things to their bodies and often their minds. Tales were abound of Her activities. Beatings of the staff for no reason at all. Setting the human property on fire. Threats of the cold steel of Her blade. With each of these tales, the Lady Pact would admit her hand in these activities. Almost seem proud of them, in fact. Her own eyes would shine when recounting the tales. There are whispers in the halls that she now has the bloodlust.

Needless to say, the current servants are no longer fit for the house. Mister Pact was furious upon his return and has told the Lady Pact that she must find the means to acquire more. He has refused to offer coin to do so. This has left the Lady Pact to her own means. She knows of gambling, and has sat at the table of men often. Yet when cards are not in her favor, she is also shrewd. She has no qualms in using her feminine wilds to accomplish her goal. To replenish the House of staff, she will use those methods fair and unfair, to find new property. Once the new property is obtained, only fate will decide their treatment.

Too much has been said already.

In Regards,

The House of Pact

First,let Me assure all of you that I am quite fine.  I did take a bump on the head at work today.  It's been several hours now.  It is not troubling Me.  Yes, it hurt like all get out when it happened.  I was a little fuzzy there for a bit.  I worked the rest of My shift and was more than able to access My own condition.

Please allow Me to tell all of you that there is no need to worry.  Yes,
I came home tired (I've been up since 4:00 AM), thirsty (I work in a hot environment), and hungry (it's a twelve hour shift).  My ears do often ring because there is a lot of loud equipment.  (I'm sure you folks have noticed Me say once or twice that I have hearing issues.)  It's not a concern for medical insurance.  (I'm sure you guys know that one already.)  Even if that was an issue, this happened at work and I am completely aware of what I'm legally entitled to should there be an accident that requires medical care.  Except for poking at the spot, it doesn't even hurt.  I've even washed and combed through My hair without noticing it.

I do appreciate everyone's concern.  It's very sweet.  Had I seriously been harmed, it's very nice to know that people would be concerned about Me.

Yours In Kink,

Lady Pact

Don't ever be fooled.  There are times that I miss My family a great deal.


I just wanted to take a minute to say thanks to those who shared their company with Me last evening.  There is something so wonderful about what I've come to call "the little place in the woods."  Yes, there really is something there.  I feel it every time I visit.

As I was driving home, I was thinking about something else.   I'm sure it will sound very odd to some.  Much like someone else said, if you don't get it, I probably can't explain it to you. 

It felt really good, very comfortable, to be in My leathers again last night.  Not usually something one would say about a tight skirt, waist pulled in and laced up, and boots.  Certainly not the most practical driving attire.  One must sit very rigid and straight in the seat.  Still, makes Me feel more Myself than just about anything that I could put on.

There is something almost, if not downright spiritual about leather.  The connection we have through it.  The family that is created by extension of it.  That thing about it that you can't describe.

As someone else said, if you don't get it, I can't explain it to you.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact

I'm off for a last minute private gathering.  I hope you are enjoying your Friday.
Never think that I would punish you because I do not care about you , this dynamic, or this family. 

your Mistress
Some days are tougher than others, I guess.  I allowed Myself to be hurt today.  It just goes to show that sadists actually feel pain too, rather than just dish it out.  (That's supposed to be funny.)

All things in life are lessons.  I hesitate to say what this one taught Me.  I'm sorry to say that it wasn't entirely positive.  I guess that happens. 

I haven't been on the net for very long in comparison to a lot of people.  Up until now, I've been fortunate enough to say that all of the people I've met have been good experiences for Me.  There are a lot of great people out there, and I'm so glad to have met so many of you.

Then, there was today, and I have to say for the first time that I actually regret allowing someone to get close to me by means of the net.  It's a shame, really.  It colored My opinion of some things that I had looked at as fond memories. 

So, if I'm a little harder to get to know for a while, please understand that it's probably not because of you.  The wall I built today won't be coming down for a bit.  Not until the lesson I learned today can be replaced by a better lesson that can be taught to Me by someone else.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
Today, My word  is gratitude.  No matter what anyone would like to inflict as damage upon Me, I know within Myself that I am happy, thankful for what I have.  I thank the stars for My fortune.  I am blessed that the majority of people I love, actually love Me in return.  For the minority who can not, I feel only pity.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact

I have come to the understanding that, when it comes to S/m play, I can, and most absolutely will be a flirt.  Not by intention or design.  It is an almost automatic response.  A lure to pull someone into My web so that I can have My sadistic way with them.  I am most definitely the spider.  Then I become the dragon.
Good Evening Folks,

I wanted to take a few moments of your lives to allow me to express my gratitude for allowing me to serve on the board in this past year.  You honestly don't know the gift that you have given me in permitting me this opportunity, and I want to thank each and every one of you for that.

Please see my continued comments on the subject through the local board.  I thank each of you for allowing me into your lives in my service to the group in this past year.  May our family continue to grow in love and respect.

Regards In Kink,

Lady Pact
I need to ramble.

Fear came to Me tonight in a dream.  I keep saying, "just a nightmare..... just a nightmare."  It's not.  It's based in reality.

Even a dominant can be frightened.  We can feel fear.  We can feel alone.  We can lose our voice when something strikes us.  Even we can need help.

In Leather,

Lady Pact
The plans are official!  MisterP and Myself will be heading to Atlanta to attend the New Year's Eve party at 1763.  We are still waiting on confirmation of our tickets, but I'm hoping that will not be an issue.  The two of us can't wait to see all of our friends that we have missed!

To answer the questions that I know will be asked:

Yes, of course the toys are coming with us!  We're planning on bringing separate bags so we can each play as the mood strikes us.

No, neither of us have anyone scheduled on the dance card yet, so if you're wanting to play, this the opportunity.  All play will be public and there will not be any "after hours" chances. 

Yes, bottoms I have played with before will get preferential treatment.  One good scene deserves another. 

Yes, I intend to Top as much as time and space allows.

No, I do not bottom.

Yes, bring your own restraints, blindfolds, gags, etc.  It saves Me time so we can get to the good stuff.

Any question that is not on the list, please feel free to ask.  I'll be happy to answer any respectful inquiries.

Hope to see you there!  Let's ring in the New Year from space!
Upcoming Events:

I will be at the AIRS wrapping party tomorrow and can't wait to see you folks.  I'm not much of a bondage/wrapping person but I understand that there is other fun to be had!  Never doubt that folks here can have a good time!

I will be appearing at CAP next weekend.  I haven't quite decided what the exact feature will be but I promise it will be fun and entertaining.

Yes, folks, I will be at DOMCON.  I can't wait to see all of you, old friends and new.  It's been far too long. 

My clip will be in town for the event.  Please feel free to say hello should you see us there.

I will say now.  I am confused.  After so long, I had wanted someone to catch My eye.  This is not the case.   I know he is still friend to Me.  I would never change that.  Still, a part of Me wishes for those things that can not possibly be.  I understand, and will ask no more.
Sorry, folks.  I will not be making it to ARM this evening.  I got too late of a start out and had some concerns about the weather.  I do hope to see all of the folks in Atlanta very soon.

For those of you who have been asking about My attendence of ARM (Atlanta Regional Munch) this weekend, I have to say that I am not sure yet.  As much as I would love to come up and see everyone, spend time relaxing and chatting on the patio, there is another part of Me, as much as I have tried to prepare for this, that isn't ready.  I want to be.  I really do.  I'm just not sure if I'm there.

It is a great thing, to examine One's own heart.  To search deep within the self and ask the tough questions.  To take the knowledge of the past and square it against the uncertainty of the future.  To know, in the spirit, that a person has arrived at a crossroads.  Not knowing which path is directed.

Unfortunately, this is the best I can do.  I don't have the answers that fate might bring.  There are times that I know, with a full heart, that a part of Me is exactly where I am supposed to be, even if that means waiting.  Other times, I think that I am the only one who keeps this little dream of family alive.  I'm not sure which part of Me is right, just yet,  Still, I know that I have to face it and find out.
There are only 10 days left before SELF!  If you don't know, that's Southeast Leather Fest that will be held June 13-15.  I'm very excited about going and can't wait to meet some of the CM folks that I haven't met before!
Let's see......

I thought about calling it "Kinky before Korea", but I wasn't
satisfied with that.

I thought about calling it "Farewell Friends and Family", but that
didn't cut it.

I thought about calling it "A Maso's 40th Birthday", but that didn't
make it.

There was even the thought of calling it "The P family's collaring
halfiversary" but even that didn't do it.

Well, I couldn't call it any other those things, because it's all of
those things!

As many of you know, MP (his alter ego) will be off to Korea early in
May. His last weekend before going off to serve overseas will be May
3. Our little poly family has wondered over and over about what would
be the most appropriate send off. So many things are connected with
that particular weekend. What would be the best thought for a 'last
blast'? How much fun can we possibly squeeze into one night? What
thrills and delights can potentially await us?

To steal Dr Suess' line...... I puzzled, and puzzled, until My
puzzler was sore. Then I thought of a thought that I hadn't before.
Why not close this chapter, where it actually began? Shouldn't it be
where he made his first leather friends?

Bob's first connection to public kink was at 1763. It was his desire
to travel back, says he. To hook up with the folks who helped his
journey to see. Share this path with U/us, our family of three.

Ok, ok, I admit it...... I'm really bad at poetry. Even cheesy poetry.

I'm better with blunt. Let's do blunt.

The "P" family has chosen to spend O/our last weekend on the same
continent for a year in Atlanta, to play at 1763. I do realize that
another event has been scheduled for the same night, and I hope I do
not offend that organizer. Still, I would like to invite those who
would like to join U/us, in O/our 'home away from home', where so many
wonderful memories have been made.

Please accept My personal invitation to join U/us at ARM (Atlanta
Regional Munch) for fun, frivolity, friends, and family. It promises
to be an exciting night of play! My own thoughts quiver at the potential.

Yours In Leather,

Lady Pact
I will be at Master Dave's demo on Mastering the Senses on Saturday.  Can't wait to see you there!
Time runs short.  I take no exceptions, or make apologies for the way I live.  In this past year, I have been more fulfilled than I have ever known.  How many can say that?
I will be at the Atlanta Regional Munch this evening.  If you've been waiting to meet Me, please feel free to come say hello during dinner.  It will be a pleasure to see you.
I have proudly collared My sub, LPslittleclip on 11/03/07.  Few things in life have made Me happier in the moment I placed My symbol upon his neck.  W/we are  now rightfully a poly family, in the best sense of the word.  
My thanks to A/all who participated in the Interrogation/Role Play night that was such a success!  It was just so much fun and I would like to express My gratitude to everyone involved.

I am now officially the proud owner of Lps_littleclip.
I look forward to seeing some of the CM folks tonight at Interrogation night for MD's Naughty Nights at 1763.  We have some great things lined up for viewing pleasure and play afterward.
What a fabulous time was had at Naughty Nights!  I can't wait to see many of you again next weekend at ARM!

It turns out that I will be at Sultan's Harem at 1763 this weekend.  I'm afraid I will only be there for the main event Saturday night, but would love to meet other folks from CM.  I'll be bringing the toy bag, just in case!

I will be attending the Atlanta Regional Munch this Saturday.