I been reading some profiles and blogs and I have to say

~Dayum~

some lack Respect, honor, Understanding on many area's. The first thing anyone should be doing is looking at themselves to find out what it is THEY want instead of looking to fill it with someone, other than their oneself.

In Other words:
Find out what you WANT from a person.....Find out what it is You can Offer, be true to yourself, and please...PLEASE...listen to your instincts....THEY never STEER you wrong...

I am still about just that RT is taking more of my time. Don't worry I am around somewhere.
Ohh and I am writing too, so expect some in the near future :)

Never Judge a Person by the Outer Appearances, for You might find out that you are the  one to be Judged by doing so.

 ◙◙◙◙~Submissives Rights~◙◙◙◙

i have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected.

i have the right to trust, providing I have earned it.

i have the right to expect You to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.

i have the right to ask for Your attention,without having to misbehave to get it.

i have the right to expect You to adminster Your punishment on me with care and caution.

i have the right to question your motives,should You deny my requests, as long as I do so with the proper respect.

i have the right to speak up if I feel O/our relationship is not giving me what I need.

i have the right to tell You what I need in a respectful manner.

i have the right to expect You to understand my reasons for doing so, and the right to expect You to listen with an open mind and heart.

i have the right to walk away from our relationship if W/we cannot come to a common ground on these issues.

i have the right to expect tenderness, love and understanding after a scene is completed, should it be what I desire.

i have the right to ask You for that tenderness if I've had a bad day,or if I just feel the need for closeness, I understand that there will be times when You and I will disagree about this when You will want a scene and I will not.

i have the right to voice my opinion, and expect You to listen to and consider my reasonings, I expect You to have final word, but i expect You to wholeheartedly consider my feelings,whatever they may happen to be.

i have the right to expect You to understand that deep trust often breeds love, and i expect You not to repel me if i tell You that i love You. For my Master i will love You, should O/our relationship move ahead, should O/our trust continue to grow.

i have the right to expect You to tell me, at any point, if You did not feel You can return those feelings, so that i may decide what i want and need,For it is Your pleasure that adds to my own, and makes it real,

And mine,

that adds to Yours!

What Things I look for in a Dominant

Firstly,
I submit to Men only,
A Man that knows He is Gentleman,

**A Note**

I've been hearing that because I have Switch as my Status that, I am not submissive enough, Well let me tell ya ...I am more submissive then some, with things to learn yet. Just because I mention Switch in and on my profile, does not take the fact away that I am Submissive. Just that I am a VERY Picky one, Not that I am better than the next for I am not. Just I know what I want and Won't settle for anything less than I deserve.

Many times P/people have accepted for what they can get instead of Waiting for what They WANT....

A Wise old Man once told me, that Life is to be Cheerished and loved.
 In order to do Both, one must love themselves firstly.....

I get a REAL Kick out of this email:

hello, im for real , just take a look at my profile. i have yahoo xxxxx(Take name out because I can). u can add me there if u want. im a switch can dom or sub or what i do like to say is im neither a dom or sub. just a guy with a brain who likes to explore everything i can thats safe. your at the ny line and ive driven up that way many times. i live alone, no stress or baggage. raised my son to be a man. so im free to do whatever i want. i work four days a wk off three. now that ive sent u a paragraph please send me a paragraph back at least. most people on this site send me one short sentence. i never knew what was up with that. let me know

----------------------------------
Okies, so I read his email and profile, now this is what My reply was to him

----------------------------------

----------------------------------
Ok still with Me? Good
This is what he sent ME back...LOL
----------------------------------
XXXXXXXXXX(once again I took out his name for those who want to know, Just Email Me. I will be Gladly to Share his name:on 2/21/10 at 9:23 AM
another fucking moron lol if u read my message like u accused me of not reading yours im not a fucking SUBMISIVE GET LOST NOW

---------------------------------

Hope You had a GREAT laugh, for he blocked getting any further emails from Me, guess he hated to hear the truth...LOL

There has been so many misleading profiles/Journals.

Please if you are going to post things, back them up with the truth....

I get so tired of finding out that a word is not that, a Word of Truth!!!

So many Women and Men both have not taken the time to find out just what they have before gifting it to another.

Please take time to get to know what You want before Emailing someone that knows what They Want!!!

Author Unknown.....

The TV portrays this lifestyle as taboo and usually out of control. They do not however do enough research to understand the reasons behind it, and the loving couples that practice this life. The following is some general information and some reasoning as to why this isn't such a terribly controlling fetish, just another way of living.

First there are some definitions to follow as to what BDSM stands for.

1. B & D - Bondage and Discipline
2. D & S - Domination and Submission
3. S & M - Sadism and Masochism

One of the things to keep in mind is that BDSM does not always mean a sexual relationship; however it should and must always mean a trusting relationship. Due to BDSM being intense and very overwhelming having any "scenes" or interactions like this with someone you do not trust will just create fear and animosity. Many people that enjoy the please of Dominance and Submission are deeply bonded friends that share nothing but this experience, no sex is involved ever. However a bigger majority are couples that live in what they call the vanilla world, and just delve into Sadism and Masochism in their private lives.

A major saying with people that live the BDSM lifestyle is SSC- Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If a person is a true Dominant or Submissive they live those rules and do not push far enough for someone to get killed or even hurt more than they truly want to anyway. Most D/s couples have safe words for the submissive to say when they have been pushed farther than they can handle.

 Now what you might ask is really involved in this lifestyle, whips, chains and all those things? These can be used along with paddles and collars. However this isn't the true essence of what this life means. Whoever the Dominant is whether is be female or male, once they take on the role of Dominant they are agreeing to protect and care for their submissive in a way that husbands and wives rarely experience. They may control and punish their slave or submissive, but they also pleasure and deeply love them as well. Also keep in mind the submissive is going to them and seeks them out for exactly what they give. Submissives wants the control and sometimes but not always the pain involved, it is their desire and need. Most believe the Dominant is in control but truly it is the other way around. The submissive gives there self to the Dominant and in that giving they are in control. Also due to the safe word they have the ability to stop whatever is being done right there and then. Essentially the Dominant is at the submissive's call in a way.

The physiology of why people love this lifestyle is often referred to as sensation play. Meaning that while in a scene their might be pain inflicted without true injury. This creates a mass of endorphins which then instills a type of glow or the feeling like one has after climax. This glow can be escalated to extreme measures creating what submissives call "sub space". The space is when the submissive is so involved with sensation that pain longer registers, everything is just sensation and they want more.

In the brain the receptors that register and tell you to feel pain and pleasure overlap naturally, some more than others. Allowing people to gain please from pain and vice versa. This is the scientific reason for why people enjoy it, but if you ask a submissive or a Dominant why they live their lifestyle, you will here words like passion, need, deserve, and want not science.

Although this lifestyle is definitely not for everyone it is also not as taboo, and scary as people once thought. It is definitely not a cesspool for criminals, more the opposite. The people that love this life are intense and trustworthy and terribly respectful, because they have been taught to be so.

(http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/342406/bdsm_101_the_basics_of_bondage_and.html?cat=41)

"My Only Wish This Year"

Last night I took a walk in the snow.
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love.

Santa can you hear me
I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I sent it off
It just said this
I know exactly what I want this year.
Santa can you hear me.
I want my baby (baby, yeah)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me.
Maybe (maybe, maybe maybe.) he'll be all my own in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here.
Santa thats my only wish this year.
oohhh ohh yeah
Christmas Eve I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for taking a peek?
Cause I heard that your coming to town

Santa can you hear me? (yea yeah)
Really hope that your on your way
With something special for me in your sleigh
Ohh please make my wish come true
Santa can you hear me
I want my baby (baby)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me
Maybe (maybe maybe) we'll be all the love under the mistletoe

Santa can you hear me
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here santa thats my only wish this year
I hope my letter reaches you in time
Bring me love can call all mine
(yeah yeah) cause I have been so good this year.

Can't be alone under the mistletoe
He's all want and a big red bow
Santa can you hear me (hear me?)
I have been so good this year
And all i want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want. just for me
Underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here (ohh yeah) santa thats my only wish this year
Oh santa can u hear me? oh santa
Well hes all I want just for me underneath my Christmas tree
Oh I'll be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year.

This is a great idea and so easy! Please do this for our service men and women!

 you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! It is FREE and it only takes a second.

I Count My Blessings

I count my daily blessings, Lord,
And try to count them all.
But, it's like counting all the stars at night
Or the raindrops, when they fall.

For, my blessings are so many
And my troubles are so few ...
That the good always outweighs the bad;
Due to blessings, sent from You.

So, Father, please forgive me
If I fail to count the ways ...
As you have blessed my life immensely,
Through your love that never strays.

© 2001 by Vickie Lambdin

 ____________________

Birthdays are suppose to be fun...??

Adlai Stevenson:
We should be careful and discriminating in all the advice we give. We should be especially careful in giving advice that we would not think of following ourselves. Most of all, we ought to avoid giving counsel which we don't follow when it damages those who take us at our word.

-A Balancing Act between What is & What Is not, is Often a Hard one , and Often can fall to the side-

I have not much to offer, yet, I am rich.

I Have not much to Give, Yet, I am Highly Achieved.

in the Last 48hours...

I have been pushed...to the MAX!!!

Wednesday late afternoon, I get a call from my Ex-husband that My Only Child was in a Wreck, And She was being taken to the Hospital, He did not know a lot of what happened....so It left me hanging as well as Him...

I was a Basket of nerves, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.....I had to be Strong, I must Always remain that way...It’s my Demure...

Well As time went on, I got a few calls and I made a few of them to check on Her....Around Midnight, I got a call from her, saying that She was Alright, Bruised and Battered up fairly well, but At Home and Was going to try to get some rest....Now that Made me feel a little at ease, Still In control, Right?

Still with me on this???

So, As I look to the clock, I sighed, it was coming up on 1am...and I had to be up at 5:30am to get to the Hospital in Sayre, Pa for A Blood Scan for my Dr......I get some sleep, not enough to prepare me for what Thursday is going to bring mew too.... So I arrive at the Hospital on Time, a few minutes before, Which was GREAT and all.....After 5 hours of ATTEMPTING TO stick needle after Needle into my Arms, I left with two VERY Sore arms, and No blood Drawn, They needed 50 CC's and barely got 9-10 CC's......I suggested to my Dr( my Foot Dr). that I would NEED a pic-Line put in for that much Blood to be drawn, as my Veins are Shot....He was against it....so Needless to say, I did not GET the Test done.....I came home yesterday and called My Daughter, and then Crashed.....

So Please...I am asking for some Good thoughts and Prayers to be sent to my Daughter at this time.....To get Her through this...

Thank You,

Respectfully,
stormie

=A Important Post=

This is wrote by another, but It is So well thought out, I asked if I could post it here in my Journal and he said yes so here goes.

=========================
=========================
MasterSadisttou
 
What is a BDSM play party?

A "play party" is a gathering of people who are interested in BDSM for the purpose of engaging in BDSM activities.

Sounds straightforward, right? It's a little more complicated than that, because there are a lot of different kinds of play parties, but in a nutshell that's what they all have in common.

For example, a night club or bar might have a 'fetish night' where people are encouraged to dress in fetishwear and play; or a club that caters specifically to BDSM folks might host regular play nights. Large cities are likely to have public dungeons where people can go and socialize, play, or both.

Some play parties are private, invitation-only events. Some play parties are hosted at clubs or bars that don't otherwise cater specifically to the BDSM community, and might be open to the general public. Some play parties are hosted at sex or BDSM specific clubs.

Sounds intimidating! What goes on at a play party?

Like all new and unfamiliar things, your first BDSM play party might feel a bit intimidating or awkward. Hell, I've been a veteran kinkster for decades, and I still remember how intimidated I felt the first couple of times I saw any sort of public play!

What you will see at a play party depends a great deal on what kind of party it is. In most states, public spaces like bars and nightclubs will be subject to adult laws regulating things like sex and nudity, so you won't likely see either one. At a fetish night hosted by a nightclub, for example, it's likely that nudity won't be allowed, so what you'll probably see is people dressed in fetish wear spanking or flogging each other, or people being tied up, things like that.

A private club or party, on the other hand, might have completely different restrictions; a place like that is more likely to permit nudity, for example.

You will probably see people being spanked or flogged. You may see people being tied up. You might, if the venue is physically large enough and the people in the local BDSM community are interested and skilled, see people using singletail whips such as bullwhips. You may see suspension bondage. You might see people crossdressing. If the play party is being hosted in a place like a bar or nightclub, that's likely to be the extent of what you see.

At different venues, such as dungeons or private play parties, the rules will likely be quite different. Depending on the play party, you may see just about anything, including nudity, sex, cupping, cropping, caning, fire play, needle play, play piercing, or just about anything else. Play parties may have specific rules about no sex, or safer sex practices, or anything that might draw blood; it all depends on the specific party.

You mean I might see people get naked?

Yes. At parties which permit nudity, which are usually play parties that take place at private clubs or in people's homes, you will quite likely see people who are naked.

You may also see a variety of sex acts, depending on the party, the people, and the particular rules at that party.

It's important to keep a few things in mind about that:

Don't make assumptions about people's relationship or sexual status, or about their availability. Don't touch other people without clear permission. This is probably the single most basic premise of a public play environment; people are there to play, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're there to play with you. Don't touch without asking.

Same goes for other people's gear. You might see all sorts of neat, unusual, cool, strange, or otherwise interesting implements. Common sense applies here; don't touch stuff without asking.

Pretty straightforward, really. You'll find that play parties tend to be respectful of a wide range of different kinds of activities; mutual respect and consideration go a long way.

While we're on the subject--you'll probably see a lot of different kinds of people as well. Forget clichéd Hollywood stereotypes; the people who go to play parties are real people from all different walks of life. You may see people you personally find extremely attractive, and people you don't. Be respectful.

This could be overwhelming! Will I have to get naked? Will people do kinky things to me?

One of the nice things about play parties is that they tend to be no-pressure environments. You will not be expected to do anything you don't want to do; nor will you be expected to get naked, or engage in any sort of activity with people you don't know or people you don't want to interact with.

In fact, you need not do anything at all, if you don't want to. For some people, a first visit to a play party is intimidating enough without any expectation of participating in the goings-on; if you prefer to get your bearings by just sitting back and watching, that's perfectly okay.

I have been to many different kinds of play parties in many different places, and it has always been the case that "no" means no. You won't be harassed, pressured, or made to feel uncomfortable; people who behave that way are generally not welcome at play parties.

By the same token, being pushy, demanding, or intrusive, or disregarding other people's personal space, is likely to get you tossed out. Play parties are safe and supportive environments; it's important to respect the other people there.

Do the people at play parties expect to play with others? Will I be invited to join in?

Some people who go to play parties are open to meeting and playing with new partners; some people aren't. Not everyone who's into BDSM, or who goes to play parties, is non-monogamous! You will see monogamous couples; you may see triads or quads or other non-monogamous groups; and even non-monogamous groups of people are not necessarily looking for new partners. You will see people who are open to playing in a play party setting with others and people who aren't.

Is it possible to approach someone you find interesting? Yes, as long as you do it respectfully. Is it possible you might be approached? Maybe; but if you're not interested, a simple "no thanks" will indicate your lack of interest without bruised egos.

What if I see something I don't like or that makes me uncomfortable?

Since different people have different tastes and different boundaries, it is possible that you might go to a play party and encounter folks whose tastes and activities are different from yours.

You're not likely to see anything too extreme at a place like a night club fetish night. Most play party venues that permit activities which might make people uncomfortable have some sort of place you can go if you don't like something that someone else is doing, such as a separate room where BDSM activities are not allowed.

How will I know what's allowed and what isn't?

Private play parties and public dungeons will usually have a list of rules posted, and may often include an orientation for new people.

There will almost certainly be people you can ask, as well, Play parties usually have dungeon monitors, whose job it is to answer questions and to make sure that everyone is behaving appropriately. Don't be afraid to ask!

In addition to the play party's formal rules, there are also some conventions you should keep in mind to be a polite and respectful attendee:

It's okay to talk to people, whether you're interested in learning something new or you have questions about something you see or even just to say "Hey, I liked that thing you did with the egg beater and the rubber tubing." Play parties are great places to meet new people and learn new things. However, if someone is actively in the process of doing something, you should wait until the scene is over before approaching or talking to that person. Interrupting people who are in the middle of a scene is considered exceptionally rude.

If you have concerns about something you see, or you believe that someone is behaving inappropriately, it's generally a better idea to talk to one of the dungeon monitors than to try to intervene yourself. That's part of what they're there for.

It's OK to watch what's going on; that's part of the point of a play party. Don't make a lot of noise about it, though. It's very distracting to have loud conversation, laughter, and that sort of thing going on nearby when you're doing something.

It should go without saying, but please don't let your cell phone ring! Many play parties ban cell phones altogether.

Don't take pictures of anyone or anything without permission (again, most play parties and nearly all public dungeons ban any kind of photography). Don't violate other people's privacy.

Generally, the thing to remember is if you don't know, ask; don't interrupt or harass other people; treat other people with respect, and they'll treat you with respect.
Have fun!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 27, 2009

You might not have heard from a close friend in a long time, and may tend to worry a little,
 
Dear Scorpio,

Perhaps she wasn't well the last time you talked to her. If you can, it might be a good idea to ring her up. Strange and unsettling dreams might plague your sleep tonight, but don't get too agitated. They are not prophetic in any way. The symbols probably represent nothing more than psychic detritus released through sleep.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 26, 2009

Today may be one of those days,

Dear Scorpio,
 
in which you are trying to fill in the paint on a large area, but all you have is a small brush. Your strokes are careful and calculated. You are doing a neat and precise job, but you are also doing things the hard way. Go easy on yourself and get a large brush. Make your strokes gigantic so you can cover more area with less effort.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 25, 2009

This is the end of the first stage in your "socialization,"

Dear Scorpio.
 
Are you satisfied with the people you have met? You can make the most out of these encounters. But did your political savvy let you down? Did it lead you down paths where you didn't want to go? Take advantage of this pause to catch your breath and figure out where you are today and where you want to be tomorrow.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 24, 2009

Have you been thinking about expanding your computer skills? If so, this is the day to do it. You are likely to discover a lot of valuable information, as well as shortcuts to accomplishing whatever your goals are. Happiness reigns in the home as a lot of new and interesting ideas are exchanged among family members. This could prove to be a very gratifying day in a lot of ways, dear Scorpio. Make the most of it!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 23, 2009

There's some likelihood that something you need or want has been eluding your grasp,

Dear Scorpio.

The somewhat strained aspect of the heavens lately hasn't helped. But today everything is within reach, especially if it was material considerations that were holding you back. You have an auspicious day ahead, so make the most of it!

wow Talk about Rude,

This goes out to gwg111 ,
I thought we were having a decent conversation about the Lifestyle but I guess you did not wish to hear from a level headed Lady, that has some intelligence about her....I wish you nothing but the best....


I went to reply to His last email to find out he does not exist anymore...HaHa

Never seems to amaze me!!!
Stormie

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 22, 2009

Lately, you've been nursing a feeling that your partner is being inattentive. The tension has been building up and today,

Dear Scorpio,

You are likely to boil over with the rage that comes from one too many doubts and suspicions. The forecast for love is stormy, without a doubt. But making up after the quarrel promises to be lots of fun...

Hands some READING Glasses to some Who seem to not be able to READ My Words

~Shakes Head~

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 21, 2009

Dear Scorpio,

you are currently demystifying the concept of talent. You used to look at other people enviously, thinking, "I wish I had a natural ability like that". But now you understand that the person who aroused your envy with his or her talent is actually just someone who had the self-confidence to go to work and refine and develop an aptitude. It's a matter of hard work, belief in oneself, and bravery in the face of risk. You too can do it!

"Tears are words the heart can't express”

What a Powerful Picture!!!

I so need to write a short novel of my life....then let others see it...when they tell me how thier life is...

I am not saying my life has been as bad as some...but

COME ON NOW

At least know Half of what I been throught before Judging or Even thinking of passing Judgement on me...

Those that know me know..

Those that Don't....most likely will not if They keep thier Eyes closed...

NEXT!!!!....

HAHA

Yeah nothing is for free...

I had someone tell me to go to a Site

University of Phoenix

and I would be able to get my GED and get some Courses, you know to help me with educating myself...



.well guess what

it ain't FREE....

They wanted .....
 

get this....................

...............

~Shakes Head~....

I have no idea how some do it....lol...but It seems every time I try to reach out to better things for my life I get slammed,....

Just how do some do it??

PS: Just so there is no confusion or some peeps going off the deeep end..LOL....I know that GED has to be done offline...or that is what some is telling me....

 I never did claim to know everything and I learn daily.....yup I sure do....:)

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 20, 2009

Your emotions are solid, and you feel good inside,
Dear Scorpio.
 
At the same time, however, you may find that you are a bit tongue-tied. You are having a hard time expressing your true feelings the way you would like to - especially when it comes to love and romance. Perhaps you have so many thoughts running around in your head that you don't know how to sort them out, or which ones to disclose and which to keep hidden.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 19, 2009

If someone takes too long to do something today,

Dear Scorpio,
 
You may find your temper flaring up. Patience isn't always a strong suit for you and you may be one who really believes in the "if you want it done right, do it yourself," philosophy. Yet this isn't always fair. Others need to do things at their own pace, just as you do, and in some cases, as with children, it's essential that they be given the room to do so. Take a deep breath if you have to, but work harder to be patient.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 18, 2009

With the day's energy, you might want to let your imagination run free for a while,
 
Dear Scorpio.
 
This can add a real boost, as it will connect you with your inner self. Let your imagination be your ticket to your creative and artistic abilities. Problem solving skills can also be accented or realized when the mind is given time to roam. This part of you is as important as your heart, so be sure to use it to the fullest.

Offering up a deep devotion takes time,

Takes Trust Deeper than anything before.

The Days grow long, and Un-Ending...

When all is needed is a Comfirming Nod and those simple words ring true to my ear....


~MINE~

A Day, of all Days,

I am going to create a list of the things, I have done and those that I want to do. This is something that came to my attention of recent. It is for those whom look at my profile and want to get to know who I am. This might take sometime to create so please bare with me on it....

first the list of things I have done and yes this list will grow with time:

1.Waxing:
 (It has been poured on me and peeled off with a knife)
 &
( I have poured it on another and peeled off with a knife)
What did I like the best, having it peeled off of me, it is so sensual, and my flesh is so sensitive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. Flogging:
(I love a good Florentine Flogging, I have only had this once)
&
( I love flogging another, it is so flow of sensations once you get into the rhythm)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. Edge Play

I LOVE this, and have done it many times...Maybe not the proper way, for I do not think my ex knew that much back then, as He was just starting...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4: Spankings

this one is hard, for i have little experience with it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. Paddles

 This is the same as previous one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is where i get frustrated, for someone who has been in this Lifestyle of
D/s & BDSM
 to have so little with as many years , some of them were learning, mostly from online for i was terrified of Real Time, i had this huge fear, ever since i was a little girl, of not being strong enough to stand on my own, when in fact, i have done that for so many years, I so stink at asking for anyone's Help.

There are many times I wish I had more access to the People of the Lifestyles, but It's been my burden to carry, and I do not expect others to carry it for me....

Okay!!!!

Man did this get off track,
Shrugs,......

Life goes on, ......

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 17, 2009

Today you might hear of opportunities to make a little extra money through creative work of some kind,
 
Dear Scorpio.
 
This could be a genuine lucky break, achieved by being in the right place at the right time. You'll probably take advantage of it, because right now you're full of inspiration of all kinds. Ideas should be flowing into your brain so copiously you might have a hard time keeping track of them. Write them down!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 16, 2009

A lot of activity in the home could take place today,
Dear Scorpio.
 
Perhaps you'll have visitors, or perhaps you're doing some work on the house. Your intuition is particularly strong right now, and you could find yourself picking up perhaps too much of the thoughts and feelings of others, even strangers. You'll probably be best in tune with members of your family. Take care to guard your thoughts. Today you might find that whatever you think of could actually manifest.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 15, 2009

Your great sense of responsibility is probably the catalyst for most of your motivations,

Dear Scorpio.
 
But what happens when the events of a situation are beyond your control, and you are powerless to do anything about them? You may have to admit to yourself today that sometimes you just can't control everything, especially with your family and friends. Today you should think about just letting things happen from time to time. You'll see your life will be a lot less complicated.

~Slides in with a flow of water~

 Yes My Washes had Died and gone to Appliance Heaven, We did give it a nice Send off..... and then turns to head to shower.....

Only three weeks...only three weeks.....
Till a NEW ONE




Dartssssssssss and is
Goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 14, 2009

You may feel yourself slipping into a deeper understanding with a close friend or loved one,

Dear Scorpio.
 
Romantic situations are heating up, and you are slowly allowing your inhibitions to fade away so that they are completely absent from the picture. You are realizing the exuberance and excitement that comes when you come out from your hiding place and let your playful spirit charm the world. Put serious subject matters aside and make time and mental space to have fun and be more social.

Hello and Soft Greetings ,
  Welcome to one of my writings….
        I have take time to gather my thoughts and put them down. I have called it:

~What Submission means to me,~
~ How do I Live it~


As I come to the Time in my life that I am not able to run anymore but to be surrounded by F/family and F/friends. It seems I have walked around many a times lost and not sure what I want or need.  At times I still do to this very day. I know I feel that crave to serve a Master. The ache deep within my soul. It’s like the sun can not shine bright enough for the same shine that comes from girls face to serve a Master. But a lot like other sister slaves that girl has met. T/they too have been hurt and in some way damage as this one has. Does that stop T/them from serving ….another?…no nor will it this one named stormie.  My servitude has been not at full its been damaged and slowly with the Love of my F/family and F/friends that Have come back together for a reason. I too can over come this with T/their help. It’s not been an easy road at times for none of U/us.

  I will be all I can for the Master that does come a long, I know it will not be easy for the road can be long and hard one U/us. Wither it be Dom/me or Sub/slave. W/we E/each take O/our own road to become What W/we need to be. It’s not always a Want for What’s inside of U/us Shows through O/our actions. At times the light at the end of the tunnel for me was not always Bright , at times it was not even there for I could not see it. But I knew deep down inside it was for others told me it was there.  I see myself as a gorgeous creator. With my mind and Imagination that at times can run into over drive.

They say once a Dominant takes the Mind the rest follows…and I too find that to be true.
With that I have found also that to control another one must Control all things in His/Her life. Some say that its not right for a slave to control things but I disagree. I feel that a slave should control everything she or he has or owns. Until such time a Dominant comes along and she/he grows within the Bounds of His/Her love. That takes time and learn and Develop a Such strong Bound and Mold that No Storm can tear down. For O/one to be in any Relationship whither it be Vanilla <yuck> but some do live it.  <giggles> or a Lifestyle one. I look at the D’s Lifestyle for a Deeper meaning as what I seek and need. I have been taught some Gorean ways and I still use them a lot in many things in D’s …

I bet You are Sitting back saying.  How can she do that …either she is Gor or Not. That’s  the Benefit one has to have Good friends as  Master Hammer…for He wants U/us to be What W/we truly are. To be what you are is to dig deep within the soul. Some things you will find might scare or shock you. This is ok, for things are not always going to be pleasurable.
With the years I have been in and out of the lifestyle for quit sometime and yet I still learn daily. I have been from day one and will till the last day I breath.

      I am just learning what it is I seek or need…not so much want for if I got what I wanted then it would not be fulfilling. I want to dig so deep inside me and bring things to the surface and unfold like a Flower in full bloom. I have seen a many of P/people hurt and cry and laugh about their times of learning paths, with E/each one comes Pain & Pleasure. Now You say Pain….I live for Pain. There are Two maybe more kinds of pain. Let me go into some small details of how I view pain. Please Bare with me I don’t get to do this very often and when I get on a roll it’s hard stopping. My Definitions is as follows:
     
     A.  Pain from a Broken Heart: that says it all, but that too can be healed in time. Y/you will find that Most things experienced good or bad can take much time to accomplish.

      B.  Pain from Inflicting from an Object. Like a Flogger, Paddle or Whip. Maybe if Hit hard enough from a Mans Hand.

     C.  Pain from Loneliness. Of a time of being single or widowed. Widower.

   There are many others but those came to my mind first. I have much to offer a Dominant male When He comes along. Until then I will learn how to be the best slave I can be. Trying to learn a D’s lifestyle while still keeping some Gorean ways about myself. Which for some is hard. I don’t feel I have to explain myself to many but this here helps some learn more about who this girl stormie is and what she wants out of the lifestyle and some things she has learned. I want to Thank Y/you for taking time and reading this.

May 2005
~stormie~

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 13, 2009

Even if it's true in general that Scorpios have strong bodies, like you, there are times when it is important that they take care of themselves. This would be an ideal day to become more aware of that fact. It's not that you are going to have health problems,
Dear Scorpio,
 
but the planets are positioned in the middle of abundant activity, which suggests that you would be wise to take care of your greatest asset: your body!

~Growlsss~

Well man when it rains it pours

The Washer done took its last load and DIED in the Middle of the spin Cycle.....

sighsssssssssss

Just Keep adding to it......

MAN

i so need a camera, grrrrr

 i got a tree stump that i have turned into a main bird feeding station and got some really awesome Birds and can not get pictures of them......

Sighsssssssssssssssssss

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 12, 2009

It isn't always easy to think about how your life is going,

Dear Scorpio.

Imagine if you were alone in the world, with nothing to hold you back or force you to do one thing or another. At least once a month, consecrate an hour to "visualizing" what your life would be like under these conditions. This will help you figure out what is impeding you today

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 11, 2009

Yes, Dear Scorpio,
 this is a good moment to abandon old beliefs and moral values. Your view of life has changed and, above all, you are more aware how your outdated, preconceived ideas sometimes poison your life. The past no longer concerns you. It's time for you to make a clean break from those beliefs that are holding you back. You might shock your family, but they'll get over it.

you would think after being around the lifestyle for sometime now, that i would have a better handle of things...

anymore, i am not sure i even know what it means to be submissive or what a submissive really is.....

this is something that has been on my mind a lot of recent.....

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 10, 2009

It is not a good idea to try to fit people into a certain mold today,

Dear Scorpio.
 
This action will only annoy others and frustrate you. It is important that you relax and simply let people blossom into the person that they want to be. If you have a preconceived notion of who they should be, you are only setting yourself up for failure, disappointment, and anger from the other party.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 08, 2009

This is a very spiritual and creative day for you today,
Dear Scorpio.
 
You are especially intuitive, and any creative effort on your part is likely to resonate deeply. Even if you do not feel you have the talent for it, why not try your hand at some form of artistic expression? You could dabble with a paintbrush or makes notes in a journal. Don't allow that pesky internal editor to kick in. Let yourself create for the sheer joy of doing so.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 07, 2009

Today's planetary configurations indicate that you can expect a very profitable period coming up,

Dear Scorpio.
 
You have worked hard lately, and it is only natural that you have finally arrived at this stage. You are going to be able to measure the distance you have come, and above all evaluate your power. Whatever you do, don't think small!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 06, 2009

Dear Scorpio,

you seem to like to hide your feelings and your emotional needs from other people. You really need to be able to trust other people in order to share your feeling with them. They seem to have to guess at your deepest secrets. Yet, today you could save a lot of time in your love life, if you would just accept to tell your partner what you want out of your relationship, or even what you would like to change about it. Talk about it. Your partner is listening...

Funny how the circle turns around
First you're up and then you're down again
Though the circle takes what it may give
Each time around it makes you live again

Funny how the circle is a wheel
And it can steal someone who is a friend
Funny how the circle takes your flight
And if it's right it brings you back again

Funny how the circle turns around
You think your lost and then you're found again
Though you always look for what you know
Each time around it's something new again

Full Circle - Gene Clark

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 05, 2009

Short journeys or visits in your near neighborhood could catapult you into rather negative situations,
 \
Dear Scorpio,

so it's best to stay close to home if you can. An angry letter or phone call from a woman could put you into a rather shaky mood. Days like this are best for keeping to yourself and throwing your energies into taking care of whatever you're working on right now. This is not a day to socialize!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 04, 2009

The irony of today's situations is apt to be quite strong,
Dear Scorpio,

Know that the only real remedy you have for situations like this is to accept them and joke about it. If you try to take yourself too seriously, especially when it comes to art or romance, you will inevitably fail. Your heart is sensual and your emotions are profound. Bring yourself into balance by laughing instead of crying about the events of the day.

::A little rant of My own::

Here lately all i see in Dominant Male profiles, is they are looking for the age group, of

(21-30)

 now don't get me wrong here, I love looking at the young girls too, and some are mighty fine....and by no means am i here to Judge or anything of such....i just find it odd, that so Many Older Dominant Males are seeking so young...

 What is it that is intriguing the most?

 Is it because they are Young, Beautiful,  No Scars to speak of....if I am touching on a nerve, well.....I'm not going to say sorry, for , its been something that has been on my mind for sometime now....

and the ole Saying goes

" Always Ask"

Stormie!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 03, 2009

It is time to take your communication to the next level,

Dear Scorpio.

Expand outwards and upwards. For the last three weeks, you have gone through a serious mental process that has helped you to define what you stand for and believe in. Now you are in a phase that is urging you to put these ideas into motion. The expansive quality of the day is profound, so take advantage of this and hop into action.

Ramplin

 Not sure where this is going or what might come out....so bare with me on it.

 it's been a rough month .....not what you are thinking, not that type of month....I don't get them visits anymore...My body is been put through a wringer to say the least, but it is on it's way to healing now...
YEAH This Might not mean much to no one else, but to me it means i am on the road to my own independence, when i have not had My own CAR...in 3 years, it feels good to be able to do something for myself, and not have to lean on others for rides and such...it sure does give ones ego a huge high....at least it does for me....and it helps build self-Esteem.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jul 02, 2009

A love relationship may seem more stable than usual today
,
Dear Scorpio.
 
The security seems to be wrapping itself around you like a blanket, as you consider the events leading up to this new sense of commitment. You and your partner may spend the evening doing nothing more than being together - which feels great! Make sure this day is firmly entrenched in your memory, so you can recall it whenever your insecurities seem to be getting the best of you!

Well both eyes are done, and on the road to recovery.

 YEAH me!!!!

The left eye was not as bad as the right one, so the healing will be faster, says the Dr. Which is good for my right eye is still sore. Still doing the drops and go back in a week's time for Follow up

 Thank You A/all for the Good Positive Thoughts and Caring P/people who Dropped notes of encouragement to my CM mail room....

 Off to resttttttttttttt

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 30, 2009

Some kind of unexpected shakeup could take place today,

Dear Scorpio,
 
and you could find yourself suddenly being offered more money or responsibilities. This might be just the break you've been waiting for, but it could take you so much by surprise that you might ask for time to think about it. Don't think for too long, however, because they might give the break to someone else!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 29, 2009

Generally you tend to be rather ingenious where work is concerned,

Dear Scorpio,
 
but today you may feel that the fountain of innovation has totally dried up. No matter how hard you try, you probably won't be able to muster any new ideas whatsoever. Chances are, your biorhythms are low, and therefore your mind is working at a slower pace than usual. Concentrate on routine tasks today. By tomorrow, your ingenuity should be back on track.

Its time to go under the knife again ,
only problem is, it's not the pleasurable type



Go in tomorrow

Monday the 29th and have it done...

YEAH

 Than I heal and be done with it..

Wohoooooooooooo

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 28, 2009

The people you meet today could be of tremendous benefit to you later on,
Dear Scorpio.
You have especially keen vision today, so make sure to take note of everything of interest that you observe. What you discover today, combined with the people you meet, could combine in a powerful way at some future date. Your work also benefits from your attention to detail.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 27, 2009

Romance is very much highlighted today, dear Scorpio. All the planetary energies indicate that you and your partner are operating on precisely the same wavelength. It's no wonder that the two of you have been getting along so well lately. Perhaps it's time to take the next important step in your relationship. No matter what stage you are at, there is always a higher plane to aspire to. Begin now, and you can be assured that you will both enjoy the altitude

::::some are just PLAIN Ignorant::::

 This goes to those WHO seem to NOT understand Words written in MY profile..

 DO NOT ASK TO ADD ME TO YAHOO OR ANY OTHER TYPE OF MESSENGER. IF YOU CAN NOT SAY IT IN CM EMAIL, THEN I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR IT.

 

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 26, 2009

You really don't need to prove anything to anyone, dear Scorpio. You may be feeling under a bit of pressure to get a lot of work done. But some projects, especially those that require creativity, simply can't be rushed. You will find that if you take your time and allow your muse to work her magic, you will produce something of real merit in the end. If, however, you try to rush, your time will likely be spent in vain.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 25, 2009

Some good news may reach your ears via the grapevine regarding your career. This might involve a raise in salary, dear Scorpio, or it could be new benefits, a new profit-sharing plan, or anything that may involve investments or money that comes your way above and beyond a paycheck. Contracts or other legal papers that are executed today should definitely work in your favor, so if you've been putting off signing any, do it today!

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 24, 2009

A rather depressing phone call could come to you today, dear Scorpio. This might bring news of a setback in one of your projects that is only temporary, but nonetheless frustrating. You'll probably have to deal with some niggling little details you'd rather not bother with, and this could take up too much valuable time. Hang in there - you're still doing well! Don't let your frustrations get the best of you.

Time for a update

HaHaa

and here you thought you got rid of good ole stormie...

Well my Second eye Surgery is set up and on the go....wohoooo...am so looking forward to seeing
20/20

Yes
20/20 Vision

something I have not had my whole life, since my right eye got injured when i was 6 years old.

NO MORE GLASSES!!!!

My eye Dr Rocks~

Ok on to a serious note, My Father is not doing well, He and i have talked a lot in the last few days, enough so that He does not have to feel bad, if something happens to Him, that i am on the street, He took care of the Next five years, after His passing <Not that He is> . He wanted to be prepared legally if it did,

I did not like having to do that, but it needed done, I have written out my Last Will and Testimony as did He...and Both are Notarized, and in the Safe....

I am going to give a spare key to a *Friend* One that knows Both Dad and I really good.... in case ...We both go...He'll know what to do.

It's odd How things in Life happen for a reason. I am not sure still what my purpose is in Life...but I can say this...in the Last Month, I have been doing some deep soul searching, Finding me...

 and Liking what I have found so far, i am getting on my feet, and it feels DAMM Good.....once my Eye Surgeries are over and I'm on the road to healing..it takes about a month or so....

I might take a trip....not sure where, but i want to get out and do something for me.....Maybe once my Ride is fixed, I can take it out and just drive ...no where in particular...Just get in and Go...

and go for about 2weeks....not too far from Home, in case Dad needs me...but You know....Visit Long Lost Friends....Make New ones...and

MAYBE Get a Good Flogging in or a Whipping....Grinsss

Till then

Be good
Or
Be Good AT It.....

Love to A/all
Stormie
D
HER

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 23, 2009

Take a break from the trail you're on and get off the beaten path, dear Scorpio. Today is a day to forge ahead with ideas and dreams rather than commitments and answers. Question things and debate the facts. Whatever you do, have fun. This is the perfect day to go out and fly a kite. All group activities are strongly favored. You can't go wrong with joining up with friends and chatting away about the latest events of your life.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 21, 2009

You can do no wrong today, dear Scorpio, so live it up. In some ways, it may feel like your birthday, as all of the attention is focused your way. When it comes to completing things on your to-do list, you have the power to plow through with ease. If it doesn't seem like you can complete everything yourself, delegate tasks to others. You will be honored and respected.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 19, 2009

The slightest thing may set you off into a downward spiral of self-pity today, dear Scorpio, so beware. Try your best to stay out of that nasty trap. Keep things on a positive note by sticking to your goals and do what needs to get done. The more productive you are today, the better you will feel. Your emotions are apt to be quite sensitive, so stay close to people who are positive and upbeat. You don't need any emotional leeches.

****A Bit Flustered****

I sit here and read Many P/peoples Journals, some are enjoyable but here lately, they have become a Bitch Feast, of What O/others do...

 Can You change others?
 would YOU want to Change Others?

 I sure as hell would not want to or Even Remotely Wish to change another..

 So they Play Games, Toy with Others Emotions,
 But Seriously Now F/folks::

Did Y/you come here to Tell someone how to Write or Rule T/their Journal/Profile

OR

 Did Y/you Come here to meet Friendly P/people

There is no need to drag Things into the open unless:

1. Abusiveness
2. A well known Player.

Someone Who is out to Really Hurt or Abuse someone else....

 It's not just U/us Submissives it's

 A LOT OF Dominants Too,
 
that do not Listen to US Submissives, NEVER Take the time to REALLY get to know The Person....

 so do not come off saying how Bad You got it unless YOU Walked a Mile in MY shoes!!!

 Thank You for listening to my
LIL Rant!!!!

Respectfully,

::Stormie::

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 18, 2009

You have done the thinking and planning, and now it is time to take action, dear Scorpio. Communicating your feelings is a big part of your day, and you should try to keep things as open and honest as possible. Take hold of the electricity in the air and channel it into the projects you have been working on. It is important for you to infuse laughter and lightheartedness into the day.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 17, 2009

You may feel like a beetle that has been flipped on its back today, dear Scorpio. Your legs are flailing wildly in order to get you back on your feet. The harder you wiggle around, the more exhausted you become. You might consider just giving yourself a rest and waiting for a breeze to come along and push you back over. Trust that you will be back on your feet soon enough. In fact, it may be good for you to lie there motionless for a while to appreciate the humor of your situation.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 15, 2009

Engage in creative projects today, dear Scorpio, that will help renew your sense of childhood play and carefree attitude. There is no need to put such a serious spin on everything you encounter. People may be looking for a shoulder to cry on. More than likely, they need a listening ear rather than a word of advice. Be a careful listener and gentle "hugger" to everyone who comes your way.

Well I did a major clean up today, took down all the curtains down stairs, and washed them, then wiped down the Walls and windows, what I could get finished, Broke down and cried twice, for no apparent reason.

 Did not eat lunch, forgot to, till about 2:30, now I got up at 7:25 or so AM.....and worked all morning, Dad knew something was wrong but He did not ask, nor would I have told Him....or anyone for that matter....

 At 3:00, I started my Drops for my eyes, Took shower, and shaved....i am so sore, and tired and yet, can't seem to relax, my whole back is Tensed, I can probably Drive a car over it, and not bend a bone......

 They Say, I am near a Break down....I don't know but something has to Giveeeeeeeeeeeeeee

We often hear the mantra that positive thinking is a key to our success and happiness. - It is true that thoughts are of crucial importance in shaping experiences in our life. But, what do we actually mean by positive thinking? When is positive thinking helpful and when is it a hindrance?

What Positive Thinking is Not.

1. Expecting that thoughts alone can bring success.

Good thoughts are important for success. But, Edmund Hilary didn’t climb Mount Everest, just by thinking about it. Combine positive thinking by taking practical steps. Don’t just dream - Act.

2. Ignoring our Weaknesses

We need to develop self confidence and belief in our capacities. But, this should not be mistaken for pride and arrogance. If we feel that we are always right, this is a real mistake. This is not so much positive thinking as arrogant wishful thinking. We need to combine self-confidence with a quiet humility.

3. Expecting People will Behave in a Certain Way

Positive thinking should not assume that we can change someone’s nature just through positive thoughts. We should avoid magnifying people’s weaknesses, but, it is a mistake to feel that we can change someone’s nature through positive thinking. In practise we will always be disappointed. Positive thinking can be used to offer goodwill to others, but, do not expect fundamental change from others.

4. Desire for Great Riches through positive Thinking

George Bernard Shaw said there are 2 tragedies in life “One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it” If we feel positive thinking is repeating a mantra like ” I will be rich, i will have loads of money” - Maybe we will get money; but, is this what will give us abiding satisfaction? Positive thinking should be used for our self improvement and not our self aggrandizement

How Positive Thinking can Benefit

1. Have Confidence in Yourself.

If we don’t have self confidence, we will never fulfill our potential. Self confidence means we avoid filling our mind with negative thoughts and doubts. It means we have faith in our capacities. It is also means that we are happy to be who we are, and not try to be somebody else.

2. Seeing the Best in Others.

It is easy to see the faults in other people. Often a person’s faults are their most memorable qualities. However, we should try to bring to the fore the good qualities inherent in other people. This is the best way to bring out the best in others. If we concentrate on their weaknesses they just resent it. Here positive thinking is very helpful, because it helps us be more tolerant and understanding.

Only by our positive thinking,
By our bringing the positive qualities
Of others to the fore,
Will this world be able
To make progress. (1)

- Sri Chinmoy

3. Don’t Be suspicious

We live in a suspicious world. But, if we always assume that people are acting from the worst motives, we lose something precious in ourselves. There is an old saying: “A Saint sees everyone else as a saint, a thief looks upon everyone else as a thief” How we view the world is, to some extent, a reflection of ourself. Therefore, we should not project our suspicions onto other people, but, instead be non judgemental. This does not mean we have a blind trust in others. It means we don’t automatically assume a critical mindset. Let us give people the benefit of the doubt, if we are disappointed later, no harm.

4. Gratitude

Gratitude is a wonderful quality which enables us to appreciate the good and beautiful. If we have gratitude we will develop a positive feeling for the world. Gratitude is more than positive thinking, gratitude is our sincere appreciation for other people and other things. It is through gratitude that we can easily avoid a negative frame of mind.

5. A silent Mind

A silent mind creates a very positive vibration. We don’t always need to fill our mind with lots of so called “positive thoughts” - When we cultivate a silent mind, we develop inner peace, which is a very powerful quality. A silent mind enables us to gain focus and an inner inspiration. Therefore, we should take time to silence the mind for a certain period every day. We will find after a period of meditation, positive thinking comes naturally, it doesn’t have to be forced.

Sits down and spills out a few things, so not sure what's going to be said but, here she goes:

First:
 
I am a lady,
not a Center Piece, 
can break,
I can  be molded.

Secondly:

I have a heart,
 that has been broken more times than I care to admit....

 But

Still has Much room for so much More to give, without Asking for anything back...

 I do not see myself as a Bad person, as some might of said, in my past....I try to always be the best I can be,

OH my so I trip and fall,

 WHO DON'T?

*bites tongue*

------------------cringes--------------------

Third:

I have not much to offer,
as far as Monies, or A Palace, 
What I do have is priceless to some,
 and
Others can not pay for it....

Truth!!!!

Honesty!!!!

-------------------------------------------

some Can handle it and Some can not...

 I am not here to judge who can or can not...I am on this self discovery tour, of oneself.....Ohhh I'm going to get hurt,
Lost
In pain....
see others in pain and not be able to do nothing about it, but to respect Their Space....

Ohhh geshh...
Who would of Thunk....?? 

I feel when More than one person enters into another's world, things are going to change, it always does, if it did or does not ...than I want Your pattern on how to do that....for I do not see that is how it is....

A D/s Should and ALWAYS start being Friends, some are closer then others.....its life...it happens that way....

and sometimes Friends is all it comes to, which is not a bad thing, and sometimes its the BEST.....
no TWO people are the same.....Thank GOD for that ....for it would be a boring world...Right?

((I know I do not have to do this, but to me it is helping me grow within, and once again, This post is not Directed at AnyO/one P/person))

ToScorpio Horoscope:
Jun 12, 2009

---

A powerful need to bond more strongly with friends or a romantic partner might cause you to seek them out for social contact today, dear Scorpio. You might spend a lot of time on the phone during the day, making plans, or just discussing subjects that interest you both. Communication with others should be honest, forthright, and clear, yet not abrasive. Expect to feel really close to those whom you care for by day's end.
 

OK,

I not wrote one of this in a long time and it's WAY over due....

By no means is this Directed at anyone, it is more about how I am doing...Ready?
  OK

Here goes:

 Most that know me know that I am battle over Child Support( Being the Parent to pay), I Live up to my

Responsibilities

I'm not one to shun them, I had Her, and I should pay my part, what I do not understand is this!!

I had a bad wreck in 99, which then left me not able to work, trust me I tried and paid for it for weeks. I have been nothing but understanding when it came to my Daughter, and making sure She always had the best. When I was laying on my deathbed( in a coma for XX amount of days), and then going through some tragic experiences , mentally, physically, and spiritually....and finally got enough back bone to leave my abusive husband, and ran to hide out in Florida, I was left to make a harsh decision, and that was:
 
Do I take my daughter with me and let her and I live in my car or...Let her stay with her Father and have a safe and secure Home that she can live in and still be close to Family?

I choose the latter, I felt what I did was Right, maybe I should of taken her with me, But what could I have given her, I had no place to stay, no money to really speak about, The only thing I did have was my Car, that I paid for, and some of my Personal Belongings, I did not take that much and Left a ton behind. Only because I needed to get away from a man, that I ....
1. did not Love
2. Did not Trust
3. Was abusive towards (me) only
4. hated the ground he walked on.

 I could go on and on,  but why?

 no use....

No, After my healing was on it's way, I went to Court over my Wreck, Sad part is, I was found Guilty for something I did not do, and faced up to 8 Months in Prison. (Another Story for another time, But I can say I was not Drunk or Doing Drugs)

When I was in Prison, I was not only served Divorce(YEAH) Papers, but also Child Custody Papers....

OK


It is getting interesting huh?

Now, When I got the Divorce Papers, I was extactic, for once. the MAN listened....Then a Month later in Mid January of 2001, I got Child Custody Papers from the State of OKla....now...I am in Delaware, and the Court hearing is in Okla.....mhm...

 Ok....I was scared, that I would not be out in time, but I was....The Date was set for July 2001

And I got out in or around March/April of 2001...

Then I went on Probation for a Time of 5Years and 4 months...in state for the FirstYear...

OKIES

See....Getting to the Nerve of things huh?

 How can I get to the State of Oklahoma, from the State of Pennslyvania, when I could not even leave the State of PA for a year to date of my Release from Prison....???


 

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 09, 2009

You may be confused when it comes to matters of the heart, dear Scorpio. Perhaps you feel cheated when the object of your desire doesn't have his or her complete attention on you at all times. Remember that the fundamental security of your being is your responsibility, and not someone else's. Find a way to incorporate your dreams into the dreams of others instead of always working towards goals that are at the opposite sides of the spectrum.

Will it be time for things to move..Last night Dad and i had a small blow up,and threw things in my face, about not having a car or nothing.....not only does my Daughter do that to me, but my Dad?

I thought He was suppose to be behind me through thick and thin, more so when i did nothing against him but try to find answers why His only son was still alive and so forth....and how He was doing. I got screamed at the first time that had ever happen, and left me feeling really shitty. Of all people....My OWN Father!!!!

Yes the hurt is there, and it will be for a very long time, He does not know or understand what He said was like taking a Knife and cutting my heart out. The only thing i told him was this

Dad you have never been to me as You are to your Sons

and left it at that, I guess if i was like my brothers He would love me more....or would he love me less?

It is so difficult to try to be around Him at times, so many negative vibes, and that is something i stay FAR away from, or try too at all costs. I am often wondering ......how can i reach my Dad? Can i reach Him?

Those are the questions that always come to mind, it's like He is blaming me for how his son is treating Him.....and i told him ....please stop treating me like Your Sons, i have done nothing to You...but been here to help.....and been available to You through, thick and thin.....I was the only one who came to His aid when Mother passed on, i with the help of my Past Dominant paid for the Funeral and so forth....

I guess i will not be like a Daughter to Him, for it to Him seems like i am all grown.....and just to think not but two days ago , He and i were talking about selling this huge house that we do not need and move into a smaller one.....It is too big for just the two of us.

well enough for now off to have some coffee.......

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 08, 2009

A proposed visit to a friend may have to be delayed, and this might worry you some. It'll be necessary for you to make a special effort to get just about anything done today, dear Scorpio, as the streets and stores may be full of impatient people, and you may have some urgent chores to complete. Relax, breathe deeply, and summon every bit of energy you can. You won't want to put anything off at this point.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 07, 2009

It may seem like everyone around you is happy and getting what they want, while you are still stuck in the trenches, dear Scorpio. Don't compare yourself to other people and make judgments based on their outside appearances. The truth of the matter is that most likely they are only looking at the immediate future and only experiencing short-term pleasures. You, however, have your eyes set on the long haul, and will probably be much better off overall.

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:
Jun 06, 2009

Keep careful track of things today, dear Scorpio, for you will find that the smallest detail will make the biggest difference. Don't hesitate to go with your hunches when something simply doesn't sound right. Stay focused and try not to get caught off guard when emotional issues come up out of the middle of nowhere and disturb your thought process. Trust yourself at all times, regardless of what is going on around you.........
 

---

Something i'm going to start doing it helps me with things...and hopes it helps O/others.

I really hate *Liars* and more so when they are family...i have no use for a liar....for one to come and then vanish without a word....and knowing his history.....well let's just say, i know better.....back to being just Dad and I...and i am pretty sure thats how it is going to stay for a long timeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

Well

I went to See Dr.Devine, and He agreed I do need the surgury in both of my eyes, Growlsss.....it seems when I get one thing under control Two more pop up....This is getting on My Nerve, MY VERY LAST ONE.........................

Will it EVER END??

I go to see a Eye Dr, and now He tells me, I need surgery on my eyes, to removed Cataracts.. . I will be well known as the Woman who went under the most for Surgeries.....
Shakes head....
 This is So putting a Crimp in MY Summer Fun Dammit...

Growlssssssssss

What aspects of personality does this tell me about?

There has been much research on how people describe others, and five major dimensions of human personality have been found. They are often referred to as the OCEAN model of personality, because of the acronym from the names of the five dimensions.

Openness to Experience/Intellect
	High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.
		You are somewhat conventional.	(Your percentile: 30)
Conscientiousness
	High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.
		You are neither organized or disorganized.	(Your percentile: 52)
Extraversion
	High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.
		You probably enjoy spending quiet time alone.	(Your percentile: 15)
Agreeableness
	High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.
		You find it easy to express irritation with others.	(Your percentile: 27)
Neuroticism
	High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.
		You aren't particularly nervous, nor calm.	(Your percentile: 55)

What do the scores tell me?

In order to provide you with a meaningful comparison, the scores you received have been converted to "percentile scores." This means that your personality score can be directly compared to another group of people who have also taken this personality test.

The percentile scores show you where you score on the five personality dimensions relative to the comparison sample of other people who have taken this test on-line. In other words, your percentile scores indicate the percentage of people who score less than you on each dimension. For example, your Extraversion percentile score is 15, which means that about 15 percent of the people in our comparison sample are less extraverted than you -- in other words, you are rather introverted. Keep in mind that these percentile scores are relative to our particular sample of people. Thus, your percentile scores may differ if you were compared to another sample (e.g., elderly British people).

	Your Results
Closed-Minded		Open to New Experiences
Disorganized		Conscientious
Introverted		Extraverted
Disagreeable		Agreeable
Calm / Relaxed		Nervous / High-Strung

UPDATE

I am taking the time I need to work on Me, at this time I am not Looking for anything other than Friends

~Here are some Good Quotes I found to Share~

*Enjoy*


The past is a guidepost, not a bitching post.

Any belief system is both a set of resources for doing a particular thing, and a set of severe limitations for doing anything else.

There are no limitations to the mind except those that we acknowledge.

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Never interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake.

More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.

To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.

Every man is the architect of his own future.

Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary line and adding to one's liberty.

Who has lost his freedom has nothing left to lose.

The life each of us lives is the life within the limits of our own thinking. To have life more abundant, we must think in limitless terms of abundance.

He who is strong conquers others; he who conquers himself is mighty.

The enemy of the best is often the good. - Stephen R. Covey

~*~The Lady of the Lake had been having a full week of events,
 She needed a refuge to seek out some strength, that only One can give, Moving out into the Night’s light…holding only a cup of Honey laced tea, in her left hand with a Throw over on her right forearm….

She needed to seek Her spot, The lush Gardens with the light fragrance of Lilacs abound her senses…

.Sitting down into Her spot, a Graze of jades flicker to the Silvery Mountain and Pondered if He was watching her?

  Her Tea placed she threw the wrap over her shoulders and leaned back against the Tall Tree, taking a few moments to settle sipping from the Cups rim, many things to think over~*~

     There comes a time in life when You are handed Rocks, of Life…it is up to Each to place them carefully so that they won’t get lost, Do we get lost at times, sure it’s only Life…and We are only Humans…..

 Drifting around is not bad either, as long as you do not let go of your inner self to pull if needed, A Dancers step if I must, it does come a time when I even get so side tracked with things that I forget exactly what it is to be in My Space……

~Those Jades flew up to the Man on the Silvery Mountain, and smiled~

He knows of how things have been and still are, Yeast He not forget, those moments of times Shared,

He is not far from my Mind, yet She carried with her a new beginning, not sure with my Brother back home how things are to be,
He is sick, and With a Heart Condition……It has been over 14years since I have seen him, I do not even know him, nor He I…..

I am VERY Thankful to the Man on the Silvery Mountain for His patience,  understanding and Caring….To give me My space that I need right now…and still be available if and when I do need him…..

A Blessing to have!!!!

Her J

~To the Man on the Silvery Mountain~

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
`Cause here we are back where we were before.
Seems nothing ever changes--
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we ought to stay or head on out the door.
Just once, can we figure out
What we keep doing wrong,
Why we never last for very long,
What are we doing wrong?
Just once, can't we find a way to finally make it right,
To make the magic last for more than just one night.
If we could just get to it,
I know we could break through it.
I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
`Cause Lord knows, we're not getting anywhere.
Seems we're always blowing
Whatever we've got going'
And it seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer.
Just once, can we figure out
What we keep doing wrong,
Why the good times never last for long,
Where are we going wrong?
Just once, can't we find a way to finally make it right,
To make the magic last for more than just one night.
I know we could break through it.
If we could just get to it, just once
I want to understand
Why it always comes back to goodbye.
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
We're no good without each other?
Take the best and make it better,
Find a way to stay together.

~only He would understand the Lady of the Lake, in Her words. Sitting on the steps of Her porch, About to head to Her thinking spot~

To Be Free is to
 be able to say the
things that are most
important to ONE,
 not Everyone!!!

A Thought

Last night a topic came up and I want to talk a little about it... It is the starting of a relationship and this is only my opinion as others might think or feel differently.

To me when I start in a relationship to me there are stepping stones as with much anything I do, To build a foundation so strong that it will never come down, no matter what I/We face.


I believe it is most important to be
 
*Great Friends*
 
Above all things, This allows the said parties to be who they feel or need to be without pressure.

I have done things in my past that I can not change, but I can change how I do things today, for Tomorrow. I am liking being able to be Me, without the fear of being screamed at, or worse hit....

To me it is important to find things to laugh about with my Mate, if I/We can not then.....There is a issue that needs to be solved...

I guess for me, to say Sex is the first thing on my mind when it comes to a relationship would be lying, and since I don't lie...

Sex is the farthest thing from my mind when starting a relationship ...

.why is this you say?

 Well, all the Others I have had was just that and

I DO NOT want to do anything to SCREW Up this one, now don't take Me wrong,
 I LOVE Sex...
and Making Love...

but I do want to say,
 
I Love Making Love

to a Mind Better..

Here it is the Night, the Stars are out, she looked to the Silvery Mountain, and There He was, standing so Proudly, over His prized possessions....

 The Deepest of greens light up as she too read the scroll, it was something of importance to her, from Him....

 She needed Him, she did not say why, Only stated it to be...


She had not yet spoken of the Love that was growing for Him, in time ...the right time....

 W/we B/both have been in a rought path, and at times felt that the whole world was taking things out on U/us...

 Looking to Him for answers, Hopes Dreams....

 He was begining to be her All, in time she hopes that she too in return can be His Everything...

I know I am suppose to write something my mind is telling me but my finger tips are confused, more on the line of not sure what to write about there has been so much happening in my life, all good it is hard to narrow it down,...I look all around me and see a new change, a new life....I can not stop smiling this is good right?

Yet I am so confused at what to write about, so many things flip flopping within my soul to get out but not sure where to start....


It is almost like something is tugging at my soul but....

What?

Is it Love?

Is it Lust?

Is it His Domination Taking over her submission??

It feels so wonderful to be with Him, and feels empty when He is gone...

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

With a cup of hot tea, and a shawl, the Lady of the lake stepped out onto the back decking, and moved to settle within her chair. Placing the cup upon the glass table, and wrapping the shawl about her shoulders, for a moment she just looked to the Silvery Mountain and wondered if He too was watching or Maybe …..

By Chance missing her as she did Him…

The Last Few days has been a Stepping stones for Both, learning more and more of each other…It’s rather odd, I feel content when He is near and totally off balance when He is away,

For He is never gone from my thoughts or visions….

The Day was a Holiday where the little children of the world were hunting for Egg’s and Candy, but the Lady of the Lake, she sat alone, Feeling the crisp breeze hit her face, curling those fingers around the Warmth of the Cup of tea…..Lifting to my lips and sipped, those Jades drifting to the Mountain side, if to say,

.....Come Home.....


.............Come Home.............

The steam rising from the cup, softly blowing on it, her Mind rolls back to the last few days…..

Was it a Dream?

Is it for Real?

 Those questions still placed, most likely where they do not need to be, the walls are slowly coming down, but the defenses are there…will They ever go?

Someday yes, and she knows that He is very patient with things, and she could not ask for anything more than He gives her …….it is payment enough to see His eyes light up, and the smile..

Ohhh Yes That Smile of His

She ached for Him, not so much of a sexual way, but of the Soul,
I can not explain it but

Do I really need to??

Her~

Happy Easter to My Knght and To All who are reading this...here is something I found for Your Enjoyment...



 http://www.dougpatton.com/custom/flash/rapeasterbunny.swf

There was at a time when i would hear things such as,

If you give freely,

You get back abundantly.

If you give a lot of yourself to another,

That you too get much if not more…

I never did understand those completely till recently. As some know my Mother was not one that taught me many things as most Mothers would, I had to basically learn on my own, nothing wrong with it , My mother was only doing what Her Mother taught her.

Life is like a Maze;

Turning every which way possible, and leaving You in the dark at the curves…Much like Life, with the Highs & lows, Ins & Outs…We all give and give till we can not give no more....
 
than what?

Do we sit back and expect things back Just because we give Our all, some do yes,
 
Me?

  I can honestly say I do not expect nothing in return, if one decides to give, that is on their own will to do so. 

To Many judge ,
 and that alone tears at me, for how can someone judge another if you do not know what that Person went or is going through. Never Judge a book or people, by their looks, get to know them.

ღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღღ

    She had been drifting away for a bit, to cope with things, to only come back to the Lake of Reflections, it had taken place

The Meeting

At first glance, He took my breath, seeing Him in the Long dark leather coat, the look in those eyes, as He reached for my hand to help me out of the car, and took me into His arms to hold, a long drawn breath, was captured...

Then stepping back to look , Both smiling as if it were so natural and right, from the

First Glance!!!

I have not wrote much
 but this is just a note to let those know,
I Am doing Good, out of the Hospital and on a trip with My Knght, in Maryland... We are Taking the time to heal.... 

sighs,
wishing I could sleep...
..Tossing and turning,
Aching,
Hurting ,
throat feels like its on Fire,
my head hurts.....
..my back hurts..
...eyes hurt.....
..my whole body Hurts...

~a Cast of a shadow~

Stepping back as the Lady of the Lake, settled into her spot, holding a cup of tea with Honey laced within it, her eyes rest as she leaned back against the tree of Many stories, the steam rising from the cups rim. The Week-end had Been even more than she expected, slowly she slipped back into the shadows of it...

A smile curled to those lips, she wanted to write about so much, in time she shall....There was much talked about and some fresh new side of Both not just one, she knows that the Path was just starting...

She came out to sit in her Spot, The day was a long one but most Gratifying…..It was mid day that she made a call, not just any call,

THE CALL

She had been a vision to the mind, yet He seen her eyes as she too saw His, They both locked onto as if the Searching for the Soul, yet so far away,…When it seemed He was slipped into the darkness of Trees, she felt Him,  He was patiently, Awaiting for her, to rise, show any signs of a movement even her breast rising and falling, her hair softly glistening against the Moon, as it was bright this night, more so than any night, yet when she adverted those greens upwards, the Moon was not to be seen, it was Black …..

She turned her face as those eyes search for the Light, it was barely lite, enough to see her silhouetted shadows, Taking in a deep breath, stunned as to where it was coming from, she gave a tiny shake of her head, releasing the strands to fall where they might a sheer touch of silk caressed her legs, freshly shaved as well as oiled lightly. She moved to the deck, where for a bit she would sit in the chair near the Glass table, gathering her silk gown with deft fingers, leaning back into the metal chair her hair just barely below her shoulders she sat in her solitude of Solace…..

She was quiet even her breath was shallow,

This odd feeling as if someone was watching her,

was it Him?

~The time was drawing near for T/them to meet, He would see her pain, she would see His…..They would no longer by Two, but Joined to One…

As They both set down to eat, and join in a conversation, was it just the normal type ohhh no My Friend it is much deeper than that….The beginning of a Structured Balance,

We have both been hurt and put in places of unpleasant occurrences….

We have spend our life times searching for what We call them

A True Soul Mate!!

Are He and her them, Time shall tell A/all.

The day had taken a twist of events, the crashing of a unseen Phantom, yet she looked to Him on the Silvery Mountain

For what You ask?

Many things my “Friend” Many things that no Other can give her that sat along the Lake, of a Thousand Tails, she Laced her hands into her hair and dropped her head hard, she had received a scroll from the Healers, of all Healers….she hesitated in opening it at first, then she went to her Quiet spot, near the lake, moving slowly for she was wishing the words within the folded scroll would be news of hopefulness….

As she settled in her spot, she threw over her head as her hair was softly splaying upon her back onto her shoulders. Pressing her the scroll to her heart, as she begun to open it slowly, (pause for a few moment catching her breath)….then as the words were revealed to her she ran her fingers over them, as they sunk in, she took her hands with the words written on the scrolls and she lifted her watery eyes to the Man, He…..Him, on the Silvery Moon….

She could not see Him nor could she reach him…she knew she not has yet to meet Him ……eagerly awaiting for the right moment to pass, the comfort of His embrace she often did wonder…she lowered her head and bowed fully to the Mothers Ground weeping in Tears, Not asking God why, but Thank You,

He had been there for her, He would not abandon her now, He placed the Man upon the Silver Mountain when the Lady by the Lake needed Him

Her Knight 

 

Was he?

 hers?

Would He find her worthy enough?

Would she find Him Capable enough to Be all He can be for her, in return of her surrendering to Him?

Who knows, m’Friends,

~Thee only ask what thy can give~

 ~ For No one taketh what doth not belongth to Thine~
***********************
((The time of the wait to see His smile, be held in His arms and to feel His Strength as He begins His Domination))

*A Calling*

There is a time
when all things come to a stop
with the life in our hands
to break or make....
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
* A Calmness came over the Lady of the Lake, as she felt His presence yet she lay there, her mind resting if only but a second of things as it may, her safe haven, a whispering yield...her head lifts with the slant of her eyes, she darts them to the Man in the Silvery Mountains, with the Towering trees just swaying slightly around her, the sounds of rippling waters as it splashes against the muddy banks...she knew that she was growing weak, inside....

she must

she needed

she desired

She arose from the ground where she was lying then a swift brush to her long soft gown, to wash the dust and dirt, She moved to the Decking of the ole Home, nestled in amongst the Trees, her eyes averted to the Mountain, and if but a moment there was a hint of a smile....for the first time in many a days.

One day she would meet Him,
see His eyes
Feel  His eyes

Than He would speak, to her

would she run?

Would she Listen?

With how she was and is, was there enough to give, yet not want nothing back?

Things giveth us in time, for thou never slips from existence with a fragile heart...

**Looks to the Man in the Silver Mountain**

She sees he has been by, and left a scroll for her to read, as she pulled the silk ribbon that binded it, she lays it within her lap, opening the scroll slowly, her eyes water...she read it slowly and carefully within her breaths were labored.....she turned on the chair, then picked up a Quill to write she dropped it into the small jar of ink to begin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Night was Dark

As cold, She stood there looking out a window, to the Mountain….where the Man lived….she never did understand the need to be seen as He saw her. She leaned out to push the window open the cool air rushed past her, lifting her hair gently to the air…..it swirled as she leaned down on bent elbows…..if she could Wish on a star, what star would she Pick…..

 The times were not as ever before, it was different…it was really not explainable it was just how it was it was real…..real feelings or emotions,….that could not be determined….what was eating at her is, could she trust in herself enough to open to Him. Let him in deep that has yet to been tested of lately. She been down a hard road, more so then many others…does this make her different, no…….think of it as being Unique…she was not a fancy lady…she was not one to impress with shiny things, or jewelry, what she adored is Honor, and pride….making a point in life…..Standing out on her own, many times, she had to push aside her own emotions to help others…

Is it her time now?

She was not raised in riches, nor was she raised to learn to love someone, this is something she had to do on her own….and she is not sure she can, she truly been damaged …..

Could she ever over come this and be Free?

Free to Love??

Who knows, maybe in time……

She is safe within her Cave of Water, Surrounding by the Mountain Side….Long Rolling Hills, of Trees Some Standing over 50’ tall, searching for their own stars, the night was growing colder, she pulled the window closed, and slipped to the fire, adding a few logs, to warm herself up…then she smiled, rising to go make a Hot Chocolate, knowing she can not have it but tonight she did not give any thought to it…..it was just one of those nights…..

As she pasted the Large Window, she Stopped and seen a light on the Top of the Silver Mountain known He was Home….

Moving on to the kitchen it was down a long hall way with lanterns aligning the way, she had them all lite for the night was to storm, not just any storm  a Windy one, with Thunder and lightening

After a long nights of tossing and turning, she rose from the bed first glance out the bedroom window the drapes were opened but by who, and when….did someone enter her Home in her sleep ….she would find out ….soon enough first she slipped her satin robe on then her slippers moving to the ladies room to freshen up splashing the cool water on her face taking a cloth to damp her dry…she looked into the mirror seeing the many scars,

 How can any Man love me with these on my face?

Often did she think of such, that she was not worthy of any type of love…it was or seemed unfair for a man to give so much of himself to her, yet expect so little back…was she dreaming?  Was it a Fantasy You knows the type one reads in Novels? The happy ever after, does that truly exist?  Surely they must having read it, someone would not write it if it were not true… as she stood in the door jam of the ladies room, she paused looking at the bird perched on the window ledge, it was so beautiful the colors of blue radiantly shining, it was the first days of spring, where new things would bloom, and the days grow longer, she enjoyed this for it gave her more time to sit on the porch with her tea admiring Mother Natures Beauty….

She did some Wondrous work, within her care…..As the Young woman moved she went to start her coffee, then she popped two slices of bread into the toaster….while waiting she pulled down her shawl from the peg, wrapping it over her shoulders….with her tea and toast lightly buttered, she moved to the huge French doors opening them she moved out into the day light it was only in the mid 50s, so the shawl would come in handy.

Moving to the glass top table with the matching chairs, her tea was set, then she took a rest in one of them…slowly she sipped her tea…..her eyes moved to the Top of Silver Mountain, where The Man Lived…One day soon she knew He was due to come down from there to replenish his goods, and would most likely run into Him in town…..

What would she say to Him?

While she was sipping on her tea she caught a glimpse of the deer in the meadows, grazing it was a small herd, then she curled her hands around the bottom, looking out over the Lake there was Mountains on Both sides, the Trees seems to go on forever and ever….Her tea was luke warm which was alright, she tilted her head back to that Spot and wondered if He was watching Her…

The Day had taken on a glow as the sun came up in full bloom the tea gone she had ate her toast too. Leaving the empty plate and cup…..she took a brief walk towards the lake, watching the ducks swim…..there she’d sit down and think ….something she often did and at times never found an answer but the chance to unwind, and catch the breathtaking of Mother Nature never left her wanting anything else..

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.
 -----------------------------------------
 Cindy Lew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Poem

Make the Right Choice's in life, 
not the fast one.
We all are in charge of what we want out of life.
Sometimes you have to reach out
for a hand just make sure it is
the right hand and not the wrong one, for it might land you in some wrong choices...

The day was long and it came to a end. Walking around the house, with a sheer robe on, Making sure all the windows are closed, as well as doors. She Stopped at one door, to look out seeing the soft ripples waving over in the lake, it always was relaxing to her. Moving to get a Tall Glass of Juice, blobbing two ice cubes in it, then with a shawl, she stepped out onto the decking with a chill about she Pulled up the wrap, on her shoulders. Simple in complete awe as she over looked the Lake, The Moon was high and in full glow, the softening lights flickered down over her small face, those greens shifted....giving her way to arch her elbows on the railings, sipping the Juice. So much on her Mind this night but yet not making any sense out of non of it....

 It was like this more and more lately.....she often found herself Isolated away from Others....she did not like this but what could she do about it, with No way to get around living so far in the Woods, not a town close by....she sighed, then closed her greens eyes, thinking only *IF*....but those if's never get there now do they?

*******UPDATE*******

I should not have to repeat things, but I guess I do. Some People need a map of things....I am NOT going to budge on this...if you send a email to me...with Yah/Msn/ or any other realm of communication outside of CollarMe....I will not reply...I will block you and then delete it...

I am not here to be a babysitter...

"Ohhh this is Priceless"

I got a email....but get this

His reply
(Just to refresh your memory I sent you the original email january 17th.......one of 25 that day..........all said the same thing ......no reason to rewrite good wording.......AND THAT WAS PAGE #9 of my sendouts.......)

and he calls Me lazy...HaHa..

 some men need to really get creative in their writtings...
  I shall keep this (man)...in hopes that he finds help....and soon...

As some of you might of noticed, I took down all my pictures. I got Tired of only getting emails, with comments on my breast. Do you not think I know what my own Breast Looks like...come on MAN, Challenge my MIND.....

 I won't be putting up no pictures, hell I might even turn off my profile. for all I seem to get is Players, Now Yes I get MAYBE 2-3 good People in my email, I won't Mention no names, I am just fed up with so many PLAYERS and Fakes.....

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the domain,
Not a subbie was stirring, (they were tied down with chain)
The shackles were hung by the chimney with care,
And the St. Andrews cross stood empty and bare.

The subbies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of floggers danced in their heads;
The Dom in his leather, and I in my slave cap,
Had just settled down after getting our whacks.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I crept from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew very quickly.
Tripped over some handcuffs and cursed soft and thickly.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my sleep-crusted eyes should unfurl,
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight pony girls,

With a Dominant driver, so forbidding and stern,
I knew in a moment I'd a great deal to learn.
More rapid than eagles his pony girls came,
And he whipped them, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, dashslave! now, danceslave! now, pranceslave and switch!
On, subbie! on slavegirl! on, slavepet and bitch!
To the top of the porch! to the training room wall!
And I'll redden your bottoms, should one of you fall!

As terrified tears before the cat-o-nine flow,
When they meet with an obstacle, gather courage and go,
So up to the house-top the pony girls flew,
With the sleigh full of sex toys, and the Dominant too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of pony girl boots.
As I drew in my head with a sense of forbode,
In through the front door the Dominant strode.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his feet,
And his clothes were all studded, leathered and neat.
A bundle of sex toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked very menacing opening his pack.

His eyes, they were hard with a definite gl! ower
His countenance cold, and I quite felt his power.
His sternly set mouth bespoke no reprieve,
For the unlucky subbie who caused him to grieve.

The goatee he sported lent a devilish air
As did the slight spatter of gray in his hair.
He had strong pectorals and a muscular torso.
That hardened and flexed and gave force to each blow.

He was lean, stern and fit, quite the Dom of my dreams,
And I wanted to serve him, so went down on my knees.
He looked down upon me, with a turn of his head,
He made my soul tremble while my heart filled with dread;

He spoke not a word, but put me to straight to work,
He watched me in silence, idly tapping his quirt.
"Heel me," he commanded, the lone words he would say,
And he stalked out the door as I rushed to obey.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team cracked the whip,
Pulled me 'cross his knee, where i hung scared and limp.
And he whispered to me, "I shall teach you a lesson.
Happy Christmas, new slave; tonight we shall session."

Merry Christmas To one and All

 May this Holiday bring Y/you A/all Much Love and Share in a true Blessing..

**Alert**

There is a man whom is portraying to be a dominant, and weak at that. if any wish His name ....just email Me, I will gladly share...

 ONE thing I am growing very tired of is THOSE who use This site and OTHERS to try to pull their crap and get over on Submissive/slaves, by saying....Awe I'm Poor and so alone this time of year, THERE are MANY that are....so I say if you are that down, GO out and find something to do, Don't sit on your pity pot and expect OTHERS to do your work for you...

 GROW UP

The old saying , one can never stop learning, is true. at least it is to me, I Do RP, in Gorean Realm, I am learning a lot about myself while in there, I have a Wonderful F/family there, Yes I am submissive, and this is one way to get out and be Active, and Creative.

Today is My day, Yes that's Right
 it's
My Birthday
 I am a year older and a Year Wiser

~Sighs~

Sorry this is going to be a short entry, It seems I have came down pretty sick, If I don't answer emails, give me time....

I'm doing a lot of resting and those that are my close and dear friends know, I don't need to Air ,what is exactly wrong. 
 Just be patient

Thank You

You know it really ticks Me off, when someone thinks I am so stupid that I would fall for some lame game...

People Beware of RomanceToo, He tries to Pull you in, but If You need to ask me about Him, please.....don't hesitate, contact me.

Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely stupid

To Give
You must Want....

“The desire of the man is for the woman,
but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”

 Times of Sun,
 Times of Rain

   Turns to the Day,
      that held a promise,

  That Promise kept within,


    That which I only can see....

Moving my hand up to my lips, pressing them tightly to it, as my mind begins to Spiral,
Moving in a way of only....I would know...as the words flow, past those lips of mine.

Dreams escape, from the Sultry Visions, As the Dance of Erotica Spins it's web, Catching those Feelings in the Vast Emptiness. Charging Forth to Bring out the Eagerness to Find the Solitude of Sensuality.

Letting out the Thoughts of Deep Dark Desires, Untwisting of the Mind set, to Flourish in the Intensiveness of the Fantasies, Only Dwelling within the Inner core, to Come forth, to the Tips of Lips, Balanced there, held in a space of Hotness, Yet With the Cool Breeze they Take Flight. To the Many Distances, of Dreams.

 You ever wonder,
How things come to you out of the blue,
and No real reason why?

 

***Oh Ya'll gonna love this one***
 
I just have to share this one, I got this in my email today, it's a Hoot...

I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT you!! your TRAINING, LIKES, DISLIKES,FANTASIES............
EVERYTHING!! I'M WAITING AND I HATE TO WAIT!!!! I'LL ALLOW 2days FROM JULY 11,2008 TO REPLY!! AFTER THAT you WILL BE SEVERELY PUNISHED!!!!!! ARE you A VISUAL PERSON?? CAN you SEE A POOL OF WATER IN your MIND??

**Laughs**
I just LOVE these types, that Blow in and Shout out orders, they can't Order ......BLAH BLAH....

Ever have one of them nights where you just can't sleep? You try and try, but only get up feeling, more tired then before you laid down. For some ungodly reason, I am having one of them nights. where my mind is not stopping, it's running into over drive.

so I came to look at some profiles, and I came across one that, showed as a Viewer of my profile. I sat and read, two to three times, seeming to find it quite interesting. As His says the same thing about mine....(yahoo). I never did understand the need to Rush into a PM in Yahoo / Msn, or any other Instant messengers.  My feelings are if you can not take the time to get to know me on what I consider safe grounds , how am I to trust you or your words?
I can't.

 Many have told me that I should sit down and write out my stories. Of the bad and good ....I am still debating on that, yeah it does sound good, but there is so much I truly can not touch bases on, and I would prefer to have someone I could turn to if I needed support.


Down the road, yeah sure, I could...but for now...I am still trying to get my life on track.  Rebuilding it the right way,  not to just jump to the First Man that Claims to be a "Dominant"!

     *A Open post*

This is a post with no real meaning behind it. Some have asked me of my Wants
&
Needs
so with that I will try to put it out, but to be honest it too varies depending on the person I am intermingling with or wanting to get to know.
 
And Please...when I say, don't ask to Jump to Yahoo it won't happen. I have been Put on the spot more than once, and Truthfully I am Growing Tired of the Ones whom can respect the Simplest of words
NO Means NO!!

Not, maybe  !!!

Please , if you are going to Email me, READ My Entire Profile and Journal....

I am getting to the point of Blocking all Emails...that Even look Trollish....

If he is indeed wise, he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind. -- Kahlil Gibran

**A Helpful Hint**

 This is to All, before sending an email to a personal Account, let that Person know , A good Percentage of Mail goes to Bulk, and If Others are like me, I don't look at who its from, I just delete it...

So before you go jumping on the Person whom you sent it to, take time to find out if they actually got it or not....and if they don't answer it, It is most likely.....Because THEY Never got it...

**Important**

If you wish to learn about me,
Take the time to read not only my Profile but my journal as well...
 I put things in here for just that reason.

 Thank You

 I learn things each passing day, on how some can be ....
what is a better word for it,
lacking in their own self many traits.
 So many assume I'm going to lay down and be their toy puppet and do as they want
Laughs
guess again...
I am submissive,
I am not a doormat or doorknob that you can simply turn ....
at your will...
.That takes a great deal of trust....
.........on Both Sides

 Looking around and I sometimes wander, Will I ever find my mate, my partner, my life long love, My Master....
    I am not getting any younger, and would like to find one to Complete my life.

Today is the 9th year of My wreck, once again I have to deal with it alone.....You would think I would handle it better each year but I don't....I wish I had some strong arms to hold me right now

Desiring the time of having no control, the ability to give my all to One, to nurture, Guide, Yield me and even push. To new Height's, Expose me to new things. Explore new, avenues.

          Awakening

Many times i have wondered, about how my life would turn out and why.

Times have slipped through my hands,
Moments passed without a glance.

Why is that so?

Did we forget to take time to look around?

Did we forget to smile to another and wishing them a good day?

It is lonely to live so alone, yet be surrounded by so many
Strangers!

To be owned again, by a Dominant, male would be an amazing chance.
 A Chance to serve once again, fill my life with devotion and admiration to Him.
 
 He is not just any Dominant, He is the One best Suited for my needs and wants.

We must compliment each other in every step.

Inside and Outside of the Lifestyles

Living life to it's fullest with no regrets

          ___Please Read___

  I do not ask for much, but respect. If You do email me, please be respectful. I am a lady yes that is submissive or have submissive tendency's. That does not mean I am not everyones submissive. I will not submit to just anyone, who says they are Dominant. I surely as heck won't just jump into anyones collar either. I enjoy a good conversation. Challenge me ......Stimulate my mind and soul....I am not here for sex.....I am here to find One I can serve.

 
                            Thank You and Be well.

      One of My Hugest Pet Peeves are Laziness....

 When Someone is typing to you, and puts a u instead of You...it really shows off their lack of character, when some Dominants call Us, subs, instead of Submissive's ..it tends to make me wonder, are they that Lazy when it comes to Dominating Other's?

Chuckles

 I never do understand things,
 When asked Questions and I answer them to My Best Ability, with Honest replies, and then I am told I assume, I have to Chuckle

 If You do not want the truth from ME ....then don't Ask Questions....

**This is one of My emails I got today, and Some ask, Why am I so, Hard to get to know...This should explain it enough!**

 him:  nice ass baby!

------------------------
Me:  Thank You...
--------------------------------
him: are you into black cock or gang bangs?

--------------------------------------
 Me:Thats a bit personal.....is it not?
------------------------------------------
him: not in this lifestyle.....if you dont want to talk about it thats kewl
--------------------------------------
Me: and you been in it what..a few months?
In this Lifestlye, it is NOT about SEX
It is about
DOMINATION 
&
 Submission
----------------------------------
him: have fun in your search fat ass.......lol
--------------------------------------
Me:ohhh
that hurt

NOT

grow up and get some balls will ya

till then..

you been warned....
do NOT contact ME ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever get a feeling There is one Playing Two,
I Have this feeling that Some of whom I am speaking with, are the same person

_____****A Warning****____

If you are going to email me, please I ask that you be respectful.

I am so tired of seeing and getting emails, that tend to be Bull crap.

 I am a Woman of some knowledge as to how My own Body looks
I after all do see it every day
I am grateful to those who are Serious in their Responses.

If you plan on emailing me,
Be Courteous...

They say to find Freedom
One must open

To Open
One Must Trust

To Trust
One Must be Willing to Accept Change

 To Change
One Must Want
It!!!

I am Growing fed up with how some can NOT read ...and Assume, they Know Me....STOP.....
I do not want to see Your Cock,
I do not Want to be Your Cyber Fuck....
I do not Want to Be Your Fuck Date....
Be Real or Be Gone...

 Either way,

     It's Just not Always,
            Your Way....