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need mental stimulation as much as visual and/or physical. i am a writer with diverse, dark and deviant tastes, intense and strong-willed, but offer sweetness, warmth, passion and devotion - even innocence.
seeking a stable, monogamous, Dominant partner for exploration, collaboration and ultimately a long-term D/s or M/s relationship. i like experienced, creative, educated, self-confident men who are not put off by a strong-willed woman. looks-wise, i prefer men of average to big build, with facial hair and unshaved body hair. long head hair is a plus. an open mind is a must.
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was asked a few weeks ago what i was seeking in a Dominant/Master, and what qualities bring out my submission.
i replied:
a rough, aggressive, monogamous, type-a Dominant man, sadist and lover who knows clearly what he wants and has the knowledge to get it properly.
deep intelligence. a quick, creative mind. someone who is stronger than me mentally, emotionally and physically. someone who knows how to live and laugh in a big way.
warmth, tenderness, protectiveness, communication and a large capacity for love and intimacy. someone who can take control from me and leave me feeling cared for and secure.
none of that is negotiable. *smiles* |
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a note on trust and obedience:
was talking with my roommate and his submissive yesterday, and i was telling them about a "dominant" i used to date.
i said, "there was one night we were playing, and he told me to get a particular toy. my unthinking, knee-jerk reaction was to refuse. of course i was punished for this, and felt badly for having disobeyed. but he never *did* make me get that toy. i never saw him as a Dominant after that."
thinking about it now, it occurs to me that my reactive refusal to get that toy was purely out of distrust. i did not trust him to be a responsible top (which he wasn't), and i did not trust him to use that particular toy properly.
so two thoughts occur to me here: 1. submissives really MUST trust their own instincts. my psyche knew what my logical mind did not. 2. obedience in a submissive is LARGELY reliant on the level of trust the submissive feels. i.e., to develop an obedient submissive, a Dominant must firstly, and consistently, be trustworthy.
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started reading a ken follet book, and a simple sentence in the first few pages stopped me cold:
be gentle, you could lose her.
ever have one of those moments when your entire life passes through your mind in a split second? that sentence triggered my moment. |
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i miss laughter.
there seems to be this mindset that if you are engaged in a D/s or M/s relationship, it is all seriousness, all the time.
do Dominants/Masters think that laughter somehow makes them weak? that if you're a strong Dominant man, the only laughter you *might* be permitted is derisive laughter at the expense of another?
i know for me... i don't brat to be punished. i hate being punished. i brat for laughter. seeing my Dominant/Master smile, hearing Him laugh, is pure joy.
and all i know is... i cannot live or love or serve anyone i cannot laugh with.
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as i am new to the area and still finding my way around, i am very open to making some new friends. in particular, i would love to find people of any role or gender willing to attend some MAsT meetings and events in DC.
area tour guides are also welcome. *smiles*
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note to those i've blocked:
please don't take it personally. there is nothing wrong with you as a person (that i know of). you simply do not fit my personal criteria (poly, too old/young, wrong role, incompatible goals, etc.).
by blocking you i am not judging you. i am simply seeking to streamline my experience here on CM. i have some specific criteria that i am just not willing to compromise.
i appreciate your understanding.
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i read a journal entry today that got me thinking about my approach here. my journal entries were rather harsh, and to any discerning eye, it would have seemed that i am at heart a negative person. and appearing as such, it would neither serve to 1. deter the trolls or 2. attract the worthwhile.
and i think he made a very good point.
i can, of course, simply block/ignore the trolls. and i am thinking that course of action is absolutely appropriate and far more amenable to my goals than simply ranting about them.
so then what? well for one, highlighting the positive aspects of me as a woman and submissive seems more valuable than complaining about the less-than-stellar aspects of others. i'm here to meet people, obviously, and to meet the best-quality people i can. showing myself as a high-quality person, worthy of the time and attention of other high-quality people, makes a lot of sense.
so to that end, i have edited/deleted some of my previous journal entries. i will also be quietly blocking the people i find unacceptable for whatever reason.
many thanks to VAcontroldom for the eye-opener.
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i see the word "REAL" get thrown around a lot, and there seems to be a lot of confusion about what being "REAL" is.
let me clarify:
this isn't about labels (Dominant, submissive, etc.).
being "REAL" is nothing more than your words and your actions matching up.
if your words and your reality do NOT match, then your claims of being *this* or *that* mean nothing. being "REAL" is about expressing an honest assessment of yourself and your life.
no more, no less.
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"waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. be one."
-marcus aurelius
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