petticoated

I am sincerely hoping Milady will give me a firm direction, well all her directions are firm now, to learn what every girl knows about Menstruation by my next period and actually be able to discuss it or better, give a Videonanny talk on it. It is disconcerting that I know so little about this important part of a woman?s life. 

I do not remember if I mentioned I had to change my pad in a women?s room. The act was terrifying but coming to terms with using a ladies room without embarrassing any woman or getting myself in trouble is an obstacle that Really needs attention. Of course perfecting my illusion of femaleness will work wonders, including voice and language, but so would being taken to that ?forbidden? place each and every time I am with girlfriends in public.  May be this would work to lower my stress. So the more I use it the more comfortable I will become and learning the etiquette by heart so it becomes just totally natural should bring me past the very real concerns.

One of several requirements to simulate discomfort is inserting my largest butt plug for the first day, on the day replacing the large one with smaller ones to simulate tampons and having to change it when changing my pad.  A problem soon developed, the plugs, large and small, would pop out.  After trying several remedies wearing a thong kept it in very well, and the pad worked with it too, as a matter of fact, using my pad with a thong tends to bunch the pad and make it even more comfortable.

I had a discomforting thought, admitting my passion for girlieness has always been a great inhibition so I have been on the lookout  for ways to subtely tell the observant stranger that I am in fact girlie by nature.  It occurred to me and it would be something to truly and deeply make me squirm and add to the emotional impact of my period that the wearing of  finger nail polish become a part of my period (wow, having to own My period, My pad, My panties is difficult.).  Perhaps if Milady is reading this on my first day I am to wear a bright red, then less bright shades. This would really cause me to_

On non-period days my subtle admission might be to wear those girlie t-shirts with characters on them like Tinker Bell, or saying that would be mortifying on the chest of a ?real? male. Besdies the commercial T?s, how about a lovely pink with ?So many men, so little time,? (actually stolen from a BBC tv show, or ?This girl is owned.?

Defeating my inhibitions need some special attention.

i totally missed yesterday's post.  Some of you think i should be punished.  Milady says if someone sends her a new, creative punishment she will try it in addition to what she has already imposed.

Milady called this am and told me i was to go get dressed and go to a public ladies room and change my pad. This is a terribly unnerving thing, especially in rural CO, for me. After going to three different places, running into people I have not seen in weeks to months, I finally was able to follow her instruction.

Of course what happens-there is no going in changing my pad, washing hands and leaving...no, first the pad tries to disintegrate while sticking to my panties.  Then putting the new one on becomes a hassle because i am so nervous and frustrated, then i almost drop the bottle of fake blood i am to liberally squirt on my pad so i can share the experience of this soggy bunch between my legs.

Then as i am trying to leave in comes a little blue headed woman with a walker.  Do you know how little room there is in restaurant ladies room that is occupied by two people and a walker and some one with a large purse who is not all that familiar with how to maneuver with them...maintain cool, breathe, maintain cool.

This level of terror is not going to work. Knowing this is going to happen every month, my period not little old ladies, i really have to perfect my illusion and become so comfortable that i do not pop a blood vessel. Another thing to worry me...a trip to the bER in petticoats.

However, i remain liking what is happening.

Thank you to all who were concerned.  Finally, the problem was identified, and after 2 attempts, corrected so i am fully back.  The pain was not gall bladder, but gall stones in the bile duct.  Now that i am back the Ladies are looking for additional clients for me, so if you know any one please let me know here or through T?s personal email.

There are some new requirements. Keeping this journal Daily is one. Since my client list is way down, The Ladies suggest i use this time to learn how to pamper women, hair, nails, massage, and so much more. This will enjoy.

The Ladies want to see how i change when immersed as totally into the feminine as possible.

From now on, besides panties and bra, breast prostheses are daily and no more boy clothes. Pants, tops, and all have to be girlie as do my eyebrows and nails.  Today i started my ?period?? so far it has been drinking 4 quarts of warm water, butt plug, nipple clamps, strawberry jam on my pad (tell me The Ladies have not been planning this), these are not today's pads but the huge sanitary napkins, w/ belt, from the 60?s. Was told they were found on Ebay. 

The other biggies is i now must agree to "enthusiastically" submit to anything a real, red blooded American girl is likely to experience.

Have to tell ya, when i first did all these things to simulate a period the feeling was erotic, but that feeling has passed.  i miserable. And if what i am experiencing is any where near what women experience, Wow. And a Double Wow for not becoming totally crabby with others.  i did not know. my admiration for women grows and grows. 

The one requirement that did not have any affect was bengay on my boobs-and if you recall, i have developed b cups.  All i got was a nice, warm feeling. 

Have to say that pulling down panties to pee and seeing all that red is un-nerving.

Oh, i am supposed to ask if any one out there has additional ideas that would make this monthly condition more inconvenient and uncomfortable.  i have forgotten, T or one of the other Ladies is going to call and tell me where i have to go to change my pads-a public ladies room?makes me totally nervous.

lom