petslave19

ATTENTION: Please disregard all of my previous journals as they are false...I was never going to be moving in with my "master" and he never loved me; he tricked me into thinking he was for real but when it was time to prove he was real, he disappeared. When he reappeared, he ignored me as if I didn't exist.

So I am unowned and searching for my one true Master/Mistress.

Day 9: Today i told my Master about my friend in the hospital, the reason shes in there is not a light subject so i will not mention why. i also learned that my Master needs to do some kind of tests, W/we're both scared.

Slave note: care for tohers...especially if they dont have much longer...

Day 8: Today was an interesting day...my Master told me the exact date im moving in with Him: March 5th 2012. im extremely happy i have a set date and im looking forward to spending all of my time with Him :) i also told Him about when i lost by best friends in Afghanistan when i was in the Army...that got a bit emotional for me...

Slave note: if your Owner allows you to, open up to them and tell Them about your past, it creates a stronger bond knowing what eachothers past is.

Day 7: Today i performed for Master, by riding and grinding on a vibrator...i was allowed to cum into my hand and then Master told me to eat it, which i did, of courese :) i love being able to perform for Him, it makes me feel useful to him, even though He seems happy when i am just there :) and i understand why. i cant wait until tomorrow to talk to Him again, when i do, i feel complete...and i love to make Him happy <3 Love you, Master ;)

Slave note: Please thy Owner, it MIGHT be good for you in the end ;)

Day 6: Today my Master asked me if it was true that i love Him, i told Him the truth: i do love Him. The main thing that makes me happy, is He said that He loves me too <3. i have never loved a Master until now, He is everything to me ^_^.

Slave note: LOVE THY OWNER!!!

Day 5: Today i was allowed to masterbate for Him but wasnt allowed to cum, im not complaining of course, and i understand that i am only allowed to cum when i am told to. He and i also talked about my dark past within the BDSM lifestyle; previous Masters and Mistress who have all been horrible finds. My first Master kidnapped me and used me as a forced slave until me and my fellow slaves escaped (Portland, 2007), a Master who kapt me in a cage 24/7 and made me use it as my bathroom as well (LA, 2008), a druggie Mistress who beat me when She was high which was 90% of the time (El Paso, 2008), and Her drug dealer who She traded me to for more drugs (El Paso, 2008). If Y/you wish to know more, ask my Master if it is ok first: WheelchairDom11, then send me a message if He approves. He and i also talked about m 21st which is on he 19th of this month; He told me that i can have the day off to celebrate, but im still going to send him a "good morning" email ;)

Slave note: always keep a sense of good judgement around you...i failed to do so which landed me my horrendous four previous Owners. My new sense of judgement helped me trust my current Master and i trust He will never hurt me like they did ;) 

Day 4: Today i learned something very saddening...my Master is dying. i was in tears for hours after i found out and i am still sad to know this. This does not change my wanting to serve Him, i will still remain as loyal as i was before because i truly believe that a slave should be with their Master until They release you or until They die...i hope He will let me serve Him until His last seconds of life. i love Him so very much and i have only known Him for only a short period of time and i want to serve Him as much as i can to make His last years as comfortable as possible.

Slave note: remain loyal to your Owner until death or unless He/She releases you from servitude. 

Day 3: Today i was told to fuck myself with a couple of different toys by my Master; i thoroughly enjoyed it ^_^ i love being controlled by my Owner. And im really excited because today we agreed to have a contract to bind me even more to Him.

Today He also saw me with my foxtail buttplug and i think He liked it :). Probably the most difficult thing about today was deepthroating my vibrator; my gag reflex kicked my butt >.< not to mention, vibrators dont bend and contour to your throat like a nice meaty cock ;)

When He said He had to go, i was sad :( i love being with my Master, i feel like a useless slave whenever im not around him.

Slave note: ALWAYS be prepared to do something you mght not like.

Day 2: i have larned that when I am owned, i may not have a mate unless my Owner decrees otherwise. i know that as a slave i must give everything up even my love for others. This may sound harsh or mean, but it is the true way of a slave: not having a mat unless your Master says you may or unless He issues you one.

Slave note: Dont have a mate unless told you may have one. 

Day 1: Today was my first session with Master Ryan, although exciting, i upset Him by nodding instead of actually responding. i felt bad that i upset Him, a slave should never upset their Owner. He is a nice man and i hope He will keep me.

i have been searching for a Master for so long and now i have found one and i am lucky He is willing to own me.

A note to all other slaves or subs who read this: DO NOT NOD OR SHAKE YOUR HEAD! It is rude and is not the correct way to respond to a Superior.