The following conversation began on the 5th ...

Him: "Mike I have your attention have a sincere chance to get to know you better?"
Me: "was that "May" and an autocorrect or is your name Mike?"
Him: "Auto correct strikes again."
Me: "Auto correct is a sadist ;)"
Him: "I'm *****. You are?"
Me: "Hi, *****. ****** here"
Him: "Ots a pleasure to meet you ******. So tell me more about yourself?"

You know - I have a well-written profile ... why do they always send one-liners requesting for me to read their minds and figure out if they read it and wanted more ... and what kinda 'more'? or if they havent read it and want me to tell them everything they shoulda read?

Me: "Is there anything in particular you want to know about other that what I have on my profile, *****?"
Him: "Do you use Kik messenger by chance?"
Me: "I used it until I got rid of my tablet - my phone drains way too much to put kik on there"
Him: "I was hoping we could talk more directly. What about text if I give you my number?"

I use to get an email telling me when I received messages - but something has happened and I dont anymore and I've been on Spring Break and enjoying myself - finally got to get back online and checked back in and this is what I get:

Him: "Sad you can't even maintain a conversation ******."
Me: "LOL ~ This coming from a man that, as a dominant (which is the leading role) only does one liners?
Thats cute"
Him: "Lmao yes you’re a class act my dear. Obviously you’re just another online wan be who makes this about going to a munch and reading a few blogs and now she is an expert. How brave you are hiding behind your computer. Now take your fourth grade educated mentality and walk down the road child. You are not even close to being intelligent enough to being able to compete with me on an educational let alone communicative level. You are dismissed."

He's not done yet...

Him: "Oh hows this for a one liner. Jenny Craige. Use it.

Why is it they see all the pictures, contact me and, when it falls thru, they have the need to insinuate I wasnt attractive or smart?

Oh, and dont for a minute think I'm purging that piece of salted caramel fudge I just had either!

Some Guy ~

9/24/2015 4:07 pm ~ 

 I am hoping to find a woman for love that is when you get to be all that you are all of your hopes all of your fears all of your desires and still know that you are safe and protected.
Please let me know that you are interested. *insert name*

Me ~
9/25/2015 8:34 am 
Thats like buying the cart before the horse ...
I dont know you to know if I would be interested

Some Guy ~ 

9/25/2015 12:20 pm

Please call or text Me at *insert across the country #* ... *insert name*

I might not be able to respond right away, but I will eventually - heading out now as a matter of fact :) ... I had no idea when he'd respond so didnt want him to think, after sending this, that I was going to ignore him ... sheesh, why was I so courteous? :P

H ~ Well when you get back tell me a little about yourself.

*Here we go again. Another person that sends so little and asks for so much ... why cant people realize that, if you want something worth while, you GIVE something worth while? But I'll just let him know that it should be both ways*

Me ~ When you send a one liner, you get a one liner ;)

H ~ And she wonders why she is still alone.  Here is your sign.  Good luck to you.

Me ~ That made me laugh - he obviously hasnt read my profile ... Nope - I dont wonder. What you might not understand is that there are far to many out there who want everything but give little to none.
Just because I classify myself as submissive, this doesnt mean I am just anyone's submissive. I am on equal footing until owned.
A shame that people expect one to behave a particular way simply because of a label instead of treating them like they deserve the same respect as they wish to be given.
Or that you expect me to take the time to give a lengthy response when you spent no time in asking a question which required far more thought that your question was given by yourself.

R ~ 
The most intelligent profile message that has occurred on this site. Would you consider a one week vacation in beautiful Toronto, You will love this fastest growing, vibrant city of 175 nations, now being reresented here.
I will be delighted to be your guide while the weather is still warm. I will introduce you to my wife who is as open to my fetish as is your husband.
I have all the leather with plenty of ouch and sting to stimulate you. In conclusion of a session, I will bring out Mr Big vibrator and delight in watching you arching your back as you emit a one minute wolf howl, Will you cum to Toronto.

R (again 5 hours later) ~ 
How am I doing.in a rating system of one out ten. Where do I stand. I graduated from KINK DEN with score eleven out of ten from a freak.I wAs pretty impressed with me. We exited the session in LALA LAND-ENDORPHIN COUNTRY.

R (once more 30 minutes later) ~ 
TAKE YOUR TIME. I KNOW A GOOD THING WHEN I SEE IT. I WILL NOT GIVE UP UNTIL I SEE BEAUTIFUL YOU SUSPENDED FROM THE CEILING COUNTING STROKES FROM THE SWISHING WHIP.ENJOY THE PAIN.
Rrr

Me (and hour later, after I reread a number of times and started writing, erased and rewrote because nothing I was saying seemed to be ... appropriate?) ~
I'm afraid to ask if you are for real .. seriously??

R (this morning)
I am for real. Those pics are me on the Rocky Mountaineer in the Canadian Rockies.
My collection of whips and other ouchy ouch devices should test your mettle.
I cannot fuck anymore, but N (rhymed with Godzilla for christs sake) who is currently visiting in Iran misses my hands on her back and then she rolls over and she offers up the nips, and in less than one minute she is breathing hard, and begins moaning and finally squealing.starts. She then rubs each breast before aftermath sets in.
N, being Persian is the sexiest woman, and she cannot wait to come home. She says that she misses my hands all over. She has become a fun loving love slave. Oh well, such is life in the fast lane!!
I told her about you, and her response was you lucky dog, God has finally come through-one woman for loving and the other woman for whipping- go for it. So the holy water has been poured.

I am anxious to see you. My passport has expired. You are in Flint Michigan, and London, Ont is about half way. I will book a best Western corner room on the upper floor for two nights, which is extendable for has long as we want to be in LALA Land. As you have found out, fresh meat is exciting just to dream about it. I will bring my laptop which has access to tops and bottoms doing their freaky bit- I find it engaging.
London is where I got my MBA. It is a bautiful campus which I will showoff to you. I have the business card of one of my professors who still lives there...
So sweets, I have all the ouch and sting gear and a proposal for engagement, when will you honor me with your presence.

Kisses

Me ~
well, for starters, I'm not into pain for the sake of pain - especially with a stranger who seems to relish the idea of getting with anyone.
You assume a lot. Too much.
Let's not waste any more time, shall we? Enjoy your journey and I wish your girl a safe return.

Feast or Famine!

OMG - and then he comes back with:

I beg your pardon. I have blocked everybody else. You are the only person I want to see.
It was your intelligent sounding profile which appealed to me for starters.I studied it for a very long period of time. I took the time to respond with respect to your tatoo with intelligence.
I took the time re my invite. I have never been with another woman for five years.

Right now, I am angry. I am going to get off all these rotten bullshit sites. I believe that you are just another bullshitting Yank who likes to spin yarns. No wonder that the good people of the US are going down the tubes. Cry me a river. At least we Canucks are honest hard working successful nation of 175 different nationalities. You have just inspired me to O Canada which is knocking the shit out of American sports people all in good fun. I like Americans, because they are forthright generous people. Prove to me that you are NOT an exception. I hate false advertising and will report you as such. Advertise in the local Flint tabloid. I have work to do. To think that I spent I spent so much effort on a story teller when I should have been working on a business case proposal, Never again phony bitch. Fie on you.
I assure you that I will not rush you. When you are good & ready, hit me up.

Why many think I am not 'submissive' enough ....

 PP: Hello. I'm a writer and an experienced Master. I like ur quotes.

ME: Thank you :) I am a novice at writing but hope to have my first book published in a couple months - if all goes well :)

PP: If u ever check mine out, LMK if u like it. It's getting 5 stars on Amazon.

~Seriously?? He came off selling his book this quickly??~
ME: Unless it's a good romance, I am not really into reading ;)
But I am thrilled for you. must be very nice to be getting 5 stars :)

PP: Thanks..it is a romance.

ME: you write romance? Interesting. There is only one man I have ever thought wrote a romance novel well and I think he went by the name of John Masters (he was also into BDSM and wrote his books around it).

PP: I write what I know.

ME: That would be the best thing to write about ;)

PP: Did u read my profile?

ME: No, I havent - why?

PP: A good way to learn about someone.

ME: It is a good way to learn about someone - but, since we were chatting, I thought it was going as well as a profile read would be :P

~I am learning he isnt very conversational - but okay, I'll give this a go - what am I doing anyway but editing my 2nd book and thats damn boring .... htis might be entertaining or enlightening~

ME (again): So, I read your profile. You are looking for ladies - I am not looking for someone who prefers several women.
If you are interested in chatting until you grow bored I am fine with that since there are none I find compatibility with, it is what I do most :)

PP: Don't u want a guy that's in demand?

~He did not just mean what I think he means - did he?!?~
ME: What do you mean by that?

PP: There are a few women dedicated to serving me...there must be a reason?

~Oh hell ... here I go...~
ME: This is what I know from our brief conversation.
1. You arent interested in pursuing a relationship, only (possibly) being pursued.
Why do I say this? Because in the 8 exchanges we have had, you cant send more than one line. To me, this shows a lack of interest in something more solid than basic conversation. You also use text typing. As a writer I know I get tired of typing but I never dumb down by typing without the respect due to another and try to maintain a high level of communication .... of course, this is where i admit I dont use apostrophes so that is bad on my part :P
2. Your profile speaks as much of your book as it does of you - very little. That is why a conversation tells me as much, if not more, than most profiles. You are advertising to get your sales up - a very good tactic but .... what is the word I am thinking of? Tacky? ... Although, I will admit it is a good idea - as an author - not as a dominant or a submissive searching for another (or, in your case, others).
3. You are assuming (maybe rightfully so) that you are a highly desirable man in the BDSM venue but your assumptions have led you to place yourself on a pedestal instead of catching my interest and allowing me to place you there.
This is not said to be snide or condescending - simply a basis of thought off what little exchange we have had and the opinion your last comments have brought to the foreground. Which is surprising in itself because you say your best asset is your mind and I havent seen that yet.

I was wrong ... because I really, really, REALLY thought this would end here or he would blast me for not being 'submissive"... the saga continues to an even higher level of embarrassment:

PP: Interesting! One lady that bought my book last week on a regular dating site invited me over to her luxury condo so she could audition for me. She is pretty and has 37 fff tits. We had a good time. She's begging me to take her further. So I'm selling books and meeting prospective slaves. One lady on here yesterday objected to me pushing my book. She bought it last night and now we're friends, and she wants the next chapter. I believe I've typed a few lines!

ME: As much as I love the written word, I dont seem to be doing well here.
Yes, you have written more than a few words ... but they do not do anything for me except to confirm two things: 1. You have no idea and 2. you dont meet my standards.
To help get this across a little better let me ask this: Do you really think your bragging rights are impressing me?
No - dont answer that because the point is now moot.

It's messages like this that disgust me...

Hello 2 Trouble. Im David, you look lovely, i just saw your profile and wanted to email you.

I am a 35 year old white male from Texas, but am in Michigan from the 17th Feb.  

My fetish is helping women with their first or another big cock experience, i am almost 15 inches

I am open to helping you with whatever you would like, just to see, touch or experience.

I am friendly and respect any limits that you may have, does not have to include penetration for example.

I have enclosed a picture to prove im real and can bore you with no end of other pictures if we talk further

If you can add me on my yahoo, i am also (insert email address)

thier. I can check this at work.

Or what is your yahoo or msn id please?

Anyway little princess be good, you look so beautiful to me

David

My response?

And people wonder why I have a wall up

~ Are you extremely confident in yourself as a man, a dominant, and someone who has a definite idea of what path you will take and know how to lead the one kneeling at your feet down that path with you?

~ Will you make sure that all your cards (at least what you know needs to be said/questioned) is laid out on the table on your side as well as the person you are speaking with?

~ Do you hold a viable conversation that is witty as well as intellectual?

~ Do you allow no BS when discovering if there is compatibility but still have patience because you know that there are enough trolls/players out there that have caused someone you are speaking with have built up walls until they see you aren't one of those trolls/players?

~ Do you know how to handle a flogger and other toys that can bring a girl to tears of release?

Or...

~ Are you a switch, bi curious or bi, or the kind of man that enjoys anything feminine?
~ Will you wait to make sure you have a nibble before dropping the bomb (married and spouse isn't aware, already have a harem, etc) and wasting time?

~ Do you just say "hi", "nice smile", "how are you" or text type ... do you even read a profile?

~ Do you expect me to be submissive to you from the git-go and act meek because you are intimidated by a woman with strength?

~ Do you think the submissive/slave should take charge with the conversation and tell you everything about themselves so you can agree to everything they say?

~ Are you only about sex and in the bedroom and have no desire to do anything outside of it?

One of these kinds of men will grab my attention and hold it - the other kind will not.

For those who would like to know how my husband accepts this part of me...

My husband calls himself BDSM friendly.
When I first entered into BDSM I had a pretty narrow view. Many many months on Alt in the chatrooms, listening and asking questions and thankful for the replies I began to open my views. I went to my first play party in Oct 06 and since I never do anything half assed I went from MI to St Louis. My heart friend did some amazing things and I was able to play for the first time.
It was wonderful - I slipped into subspace for the first time - yet to find that place since - I came home in subdrop and my husband was in heaven (I am so not a needy person and we all know subdrop makes even the hardest of us needy) he loved it, for days I wanted his attentions and told him of how I couldnt get the other man out of my head - he was completley understanding.
After some time I asked if he (my husband) would try to scene with me.
He took it with grace and we went to the dominants house that I had played with at the event for my husband to observe, then we went home and he used my new floggers.
WOW! Being a natural alpha male and a drummer in a rock band he took to it like he;d been born into it. However we were sneaking into the bathroom because of the kids and it wasnt enough - not a great place to get into the mindset ;).
After a month, when we were laying in bed, he took me into his arms and told me he loved what BDSM did for me, however he didnt have the heart for it.
We have talked in depth of my needs and today he has met several of the men who have wanted to own me as well as the two who have. He tells me the things I am blinded by and then allows me the choice - I have never disregarded his observations and have walked away from those he has concerns over - later to find out he is a much better reader of trolls than I am.

My husband was the first man who allowed me to walk into a place and enjoyed the heads turning, the man who allowed others to dance with me because he has two left feet (and I cant stand dancing with someone who plays air drums! LOL), he took my rough edges and nurished me. He let me fly when others would have clipped my wings.
He loves me unconditionally - to loose him would be to become lost myself.

He is alpha, he isnt Dominant. That doesnt make him a cuck. That makes him an unique man who thinks outside the box, who doesnt have room for jealousy and knows that what we have is what many will never be able to imagine having

Dominants

The ones I have chatted with (not all, but most) are cowards.  I understand we are not always compatible but is there really a need to tuck your tail between your legs and slink off without a word?
I know how difficult it is to tell someone you are not interested.  I know how someone's ego can be hurt...but I have never ceased to chat with someone instead of letting them know I didnt feel a relationship wasnt going to happen.

More proof that, as a submissive, I am far stronger than many dominants.

I know I am not for just anyone.  I tend to get some dominants upset when I dont cater to them and I dont say "Sir" and it irks me when they request that I do - but I do it anyway because it means nothing unless *I* give it meaning.

Still ... why continue to say there are possibilities and then no longer answer messages the next day on?

So really, dont get mad at me if I dont bow down and do as you ask when I dont know if you are worth it any more than if you know I am worth it.

Why do I find myself being emailed by the same kind of people??

 Just because I am submissive doesnt not mean I am your submissive, so dont think I will call you Sir or Master right off the bat.  And being submissive doesnt mean I am stupid ... although I am not the smartest cookie in the box doesnt mean I need to dumb down during a conversation - we are on equal footing until I submit.  And I damn sure wont submit to someone who thinks my intelligence is a turn off.

 Just because I am married and wishing to submit to one doesnt mean I am cheating on my husband...in the 5+ short years I have been in this lifestyle I have been owned by 2 men and have yet to have penial penetration.

There is absolutely nothign wrong with a submissive having standards - I have mine listed on my profile so before you chat with me you might want to read them - just skip to the end ;) ... what's not on my profile but will make me more hesitant to carry on a conversation is text chatting on your end (you wont see it on mine).  And NO; I dont hand out my Yahoo to every one that asks.   

I enjoy chatting, getting to know someone as they get to know me - I dont expect or want that to last forever, but nor will I jump right into giving out my Yahoo - seems as if the last three men I caved into ended up not contacting me again once they learned more about me ... I am not perfect and can be pretty intimidating to many who call themselves dominant - or maybe I am fatter on cam than I appear in pics *shrugs*. Who knows but I wont give my yahoo out until we both feel there is a compatibility.

 *Like attracts like*

 I am a strong woman - I expect a dominant to be stronger - in all ways.  I expect you to be better without being a jerk. I dont expect you to have to cater to me or my whims but I do expect you to be an alpha male. 

If that consists of being a gentleman, a confident man, a man of charactor and worth then all the better.

 I am a writer, my mind thinks - a lot.  I sort through things said and dont often respond right away because my initial words might not stand up after some deeper inflections on the topic. Because I am a Gemini it is a hard lesson learned and sometimes forgotten :P ... I might react then change my mind.  Some times it's due to 40+ years of social conditioning and as much as I hate that I cant help it either...that's where your strength comes in - as well as patience.

 I am not a pain slut, but there has been a rare occasion when someone enjoyed the journey more than the destination and, in the end, I was begging for the pain they craved to give. ... ... something that is still very odd to me but it hasnt happened again to ponder it further.

 I enjoy keeping a man on his toes, be that via intellectual conversations, teasing, or by just making them the center of my being.

The only thing better is when I am being kept on my toes.

 I am forever curious.  I am forever trying to please.  I am forever wondering how to write what is happening around me or to me. 

 I believe in the saying "It's all about me."  Because it is.  It goes back to my standards - being with someone who meets them makes it all about me - whyever would someone, sub or slave as well as Master/Mistress or Dominant, be with someone that is not compatible?  Thats doesnt have the same interests, desires, wants/needs met??

Because it IS about you as well.

If I make you happy it is about us.  You AND I - I met your needs, which meets mine.

Does that make sense?

Win/win - cant ask for more!

An excerpt from my book I hope to get published (still being proof read)

Aidan didn't understand the lure of the woman in front of him, but he trusted the instincts honed in a lifetime of battle, they had kept him and his men alive on too many occasions to doubt them now. The need to have her, to place her before him naked so he could feast on her skin, make her a part of him gnawed at his gut even while sleeping. He woke up hard, his dreams filled with taking her hard, hearing her cries of passion as he rammed his staff into her wetness.

Now it was her unspoken fear of not being wanted, alone, that drove him to shelter her, to wipe away the sadness in her eyes and heart. He drew near her like a hunter approaching his prey. He watched as her breath quickened causing her breasts to swell with each intake, her eyes darted everywhere as she pressed her back against the wall, but she didn't run and that made his cock harden in hunger.

Skye didn't feel the coldness of the stones on her back; it was the heat that pooled between her thighs and spread up to her breasts that warmed her and when she cast a quick glance at him she found she couldn’t look away. He was a predator and she the prey and it excited her. This man who was so hard and tall that could move with such stealth and grace and a voice that made her yearn to reach out for him. She felt feminine when he was so close, her breasts heavy and needy for his touch.

He placed a hand above her and her breath hitched as the smell of things earthy and primal invaded her lungs. He was going to kiss her and she knew she was going to let him. His head lowered so slow, too slow. All those years of craving to be touched centered on this man. She couldn’t wait, always thinking in the now she fisted her hands into his shirt pulling him to her as she moved to press her body to his.

Ecstasy coursed through her veins in molten waves as his mouth captured her, a hand large and sure reached around her waist and held her close as she willingly accepted his dominance, feeling the ache between her legs as her clit swelled in need she pressed against his firm thigh.

She reveled in the control he had as his embrace heated her flesh, his mouth sliding from her lips to a neck she never knew was so sensitive. In the recess of her mind she knew this was different than any other attempt she’d experienced with someone else. Whereas before she enjoyed the touch of another and looked forward to finally having sex, this was a hunger for more, a need that took away any thought but the ones of his one hand at the small of her back and the other fisting her hair at the nape of her neck keeping her from moving away, something impossible to comprehend as she softly cried out when he gently bit at her neck, feeling the restraint to bite her harder made her rub her aching pelvis into the hard muscles of his thigh, seeking relief as his mouth slanted back up to her mouth and forced her to open for his tongue.

Aiden felt his control slipping. The way she responded to his touch, submitting to his need to control, to take, and encouraging with her mews of pleasure and frustration for more made him want to push her, lift her skirt, and fuck her there against the wall. Instead he took a deep breath knowing now was not the time, nor the place. Inhaling her light scent, and tilted her head up placing a soft kiss at each corner of her mouth he slowly eased away.

His cock twitched at the glazed look in her eyes, the way her mouth was slightly opened to allow the needed air into her lungs and how they curved down when he broke from the embrace. He stood there forcing himself to remain apart from her, but teasing himself by remaining close enough to feel her heat reaching out to him as he watched her eyes cleared, then her mouth closed and she swallowed.

“Wow.”

He couldn’t help the grin at her dazed comment. Watching her hand reach up to smooth over her lower lip, plump from his kisses he gritted his teeth and pushed away.

I am going to send this to the editor of our local paper ... (Update: They posted it in the paper on Memorial Day)

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

  I have to wonder at the meaning of these words when I see them on a business window.  I mean, really; what do they exemplify?  As a retired Navy vet I walked into one place toting such a sign and asked if they gave a military discount – nope.

  So I asked, do you donate to the military?  They didn't have an answer.  Probably because they, at the ripe old age of teen-something, didn't care enough to ask.

  Coming from the largest naval base in the world (Norfolk, Va), a support sign didn't need to be displayed to know you could get a discount since most everyone gave their troops that kind of support.  And we’re not talking a small community like Lapeer county, or even Flint, we’re talking a city where the population of military folks FAR exceeded that of civilians.  I wonder how much they lost by giving such a discount to so many of our vets, active or retired?  Even in this economy there is no thought of removing that discount, and yet I don't know who’s more embarrassed; me for asking the person behind the counter toting the “Support Our Troops” in big red letters if there is a discount, or them who have to tell me no.  Probably me.

A shame that.

I guess I should have laughed a little easier when they asked if I had a triple A card, since they gave them discounts.

Amazing really, that I can serve my country 20 years, miss countless birthday’s, anniversaries, Christmas’s and so many other holidays and need to be a card carrying member of AAA to get a discount.

You know?  I didn't think it was that much a sacrifice during my time served.  It’s not like I am ever going to have to brush away a tear from the Eiffle tower as I wished with all my might that my 5 yr old daughter was with me again … or go through having to tell my 4 yr old twin boys why their mother had to go off to war, until I thought about what little those three words evoked.

Okay – so I’m sure you’re saying Memorial Day will bring about those discounts, after all it is in memory of all those who have served, past and present and sacrificed the very same things I did – and in too many cases, far more … but let’s face it, those discounts are going to be offered to everyone, no matter if they served or not.

Now, let’s not read into this, I am very grateful for those who donated to proudly wear a poppy so that our active service members could have a chance to call home without the added financial burdens incorporated in a call from overseas (the military does not pay over time or even comparable wages hour to hour), I cant tell you how nice it was to be able to do that when I was in a long line waiting for an available phone in Bahrain so many years ago.  But, having stood handing out those poppies I know that a good chunk of that money came from the people coming off the streets, not to take away from the businesses that helped, but I am very aware that it was the person living paycheck to paycheck that didn't have to be asked to donate, they approached and gave what they could – many times more than once.

Yes; I admit I have issues, and I shouldn’t.  After all I fought just as our troops do today for your right to post most anything you want.  So be proud.  Fly a flag at your establishment, put up those signs saying to support the troops because the bottom line is this: Actions speak louder than words – or signs … what do your actions say?

~Just to Say Goodbye~

I just want to say goodbye one more time.
To make believe, for one night more, that you were mine.
To give you all I can give ... then more.
So you'll remember me when you shut the door.
To kiss.  To hold.
To touch.  To mold.
Just us tonight ... no future ... no past.
All we'll have is our memories to last.
I want you for now because tomorrow you'll be gone.
One more night to wake with you in the morning dawn.
To have you next to me.
To love you tenderly.
To light the candles.  To bring out the wine.
Just to say goodbye one more time.

I wrote this back in the 80s

~I Played the Fool~


The stage set in comedy for all the world to see.

Watching, I didn't know there was a part for me.

The music began and you sang your song.

In your words, I didn't see right from wrong.

You memorized your words and gave them strength.

There was no stopping; You went the full length.

You gave your story, you told your tale.

You played your part, and you played it well!

Damn if I didn't open my heart and let it rule.

Then you turned away ... and I was playing the fool.


The play over, you bow to a standing ovation.

You smile as the curtain falls, for you were a sensation.

I don't know what's more disappointing - the endless emails from P/people out of state thinking there can be any possible relationship; Dommes thinking i wish to submit to Them; submissives believing i will Domme them; men outside my requirements attempting to change me; or men who make me believe there is a chance and then pull the rug from under my feet.


It's a good thing i understand the nature of the beast and will keep my hopes up :)

W/we sat in His car, in front of His home. Shadows growing slowly in every corner. “Go upstairs. Remove your clothes, place the cuffs on your wrists and ankles then sit on the couch. I want your arms raised high about your head against the wall, toes together and knees spread wide.” I dare not look at Him. I know Him. I know that begging will get me nowhere. I also know I chose to take His hand at the party when He told me He was leaving. Doing anything else I knew would leave me empty. Instead I swallowed and got out of the car, knowing it wasn’t the breeze that caused my body to shake.

I entered the house and took the stairs up; going into the room I knew was filled with toys. Walking over to the large couch I removed my clothes, carefully folding them and placing them on the side table. Knowing I’m still alone I can't help but to glance over my shoulder, just to confirm, like one who opens the fridge to see if anything has changed in the last few minutes. I look back at the couch and the wall behind it, seeing myself there. In that position and shivered again, knowing I would begin to lose myself there.

Gritting my teeth I turned and sank into the cushions, placing my bottom close to the edge I leaned back. Raising my arms slowly above my head and against the wall I brought my toes together, my knees tightly clasped. Even with my heart pounding in my ears I heard Him entering the house. My breathing quickened, my heart hammered louder. I let my head drop back and, squeezing my eyes shut; I slowly opened my knees. I could feel Him – I had no idea where in the room He was, but I could feel Him. I knew my control began slipping when my skin grew warmer, my breathing erratic.

The cushion to my right sunk and I hated myself when I couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped through my clenched teeth, my head naturally moved when I felt the impression of His hand take hold of the back of the couch. The softest breath of air skimmed over my cheek, my lips parted but I was successful in my attempts to let not a sound out. I wish I had been as successful in keeping my back from arching when His hand grazed over my right arm, from wrist down to the under swell of my breast and back over the top. I could feel the strength of His body just inches away from mine, but dared not open my eyes.

No power on earth could make me move – not even to wipe away the tear that slipped from my lashes. “What makes you cry?” came the lazy question, causing me to shiver as the voice embraced my being. I tried to speak and found I couldn’t. I swallowed, my head turning, seeking and finding the comfort of His arm. “It is difficult,” My voice caught when His hand lazily traveled up my collarbone, to the base of my throat and then threaded through my hair at the back of my neck. “to maintain control… sitting like this.” His smile wrapped itself around me in His words: “And now you begin to understand.”

Just as simple as that, and just as vexing. Breathe. If I could just breath without His scent invading me. Without Him touching me. Without…

His hand wrapped my hair in His fist, tilting my head away from Him and back, baring my neck to His lips. “Please!” I cried out, only realizing I did so after it was already spoken. Hating myself, I groaned in frustration...or need. I am so confused. So on fire. A hand touched my outer left thigh, running down and then up the inner, more sensitive skin.

“Please.” Oh yes, definitely need.

His lips possessed mine. Capturing my breath, demanding so much more, and I … unable to deny Him anything. My cleanly waxed skin offered no barriers to His seeking fingers as they skimmed over the tender skin, finding and easily slipping through my nether lips. Knowing He found the wetness that surely showed what little control I really had. I squirmed, needing to move – whether away or towards, I didn’t know since all rationale left at this intimate contact.

His fingers left and I moaned in distress, no longer caring to hate myself. He placed His arm around my waist and gathered me up, His other hand still holding my hair firmly. He eased us off the couch, bringing my body hard against His own, my hands grasping His shoulders – for support or to just touch Him didn’t matter – it was a need, just like breathing.

Yes; breathe…I had forgotten to do that.

Tilting my head, He again found my neck and nibbled, lapped and possessed, walking me away from the couch, my eyes remained shut not carrying where W/we went as long as His hands were around me, His mouth touching my skin, His body brushing mine.

He walked.

I plunged into sensation. He turned me around.

“No!” I cried at the loss of contact. Confused at His soft laugh, knowing I should be…something else …angry? I cried out softly as He pressed His body against my back, pushing me against – oh God – a cross. The cold leather embraced my heated flesh. His hands bringing mine up, securing them and then my ankles.

He cupped each calf in a hand and traveled up my legs, over the globes of my ass, to my waist. My ribs. Under the fullness of my breasts and to my nipples, pressing His weight into me.

A moment later the velvety feel of fur caressed my arms, down and over my shoulders, my belly and around to my back. No part left untouched by either fur or hand. Driving me wild with His thoroughness, His leisure.

Tears flowed freely. Tears of joy and need. Yes my mind cried, my body seeking deeper contact, only to find myself alone. “No! Please!” I shook my head, not daring to believe the loss I felt. Opening my eyes to seek Him out, only to have a blindfold enveloping me in soft darkness. A hand brushed my hair over my shoulder, His mouth sending waves of sensation as He kissed the nape of my neck.

“Pleeeeeease.” I whimpered.

Again the sharp coldness of emptiness took His place and I laid my head against the leather and struggled for breath. For sanity.

For control.

All knowingly impossible the moment I felt air whooshing over my shoulders. Again, and again. Each time closer until the straps from the flogger kissed my back, over to my shoulders, up my arms. Coherent thought would have told me that He was following the same path His hands and the fur had just done, but coherent thought was too abstract to grasp, and something I no longer required.

I held on to the cross as if it was the only thing that kept me from falling.

Time was no worry for Him as He slowly stroked my flesh with the flogger, falling harder, but never enough for me to flinch. In time He stopped. He placed a knee between my legs and pressed up, my body naturally pressing down. His hand brushed my hair away and a low growl whispered in my ear. I quivered, attempting to lean my face into His, to touch Him as He was touching me. His hand traveled over my flesh, lightly touching, assessing.

A moment of coldness was replaced my something…what? The heel of a knife? It traveled over my flesh. Something warm traveled down my spine. Had He just cleaned the knife and it was still wet? My mind couldn’t grasp what it could be, my thoughts even weaker.

“Oh, God.” I whispered fiercely when that sensation was replaced by something sharp – God, how I love knife play.

“Not quite, but 'Master' will suit.” He chuckled.

Up my calf, the back of my knee to my ass. A hand gently fisted through my hair, pulling my head back and I whimpered out my excitement at the touch of the blade along my back and around my side, traveling up my stomach. Gone then back at my throat, my chin, over my lips, my nose. Slow … teasing. My mind drifted in a hum of sensation. Time slipped by as He scraped the blade over me.

He placed the tip at my chin, and carefully let go of my hair. *Do not move.” In moments I felt the thud of the whip against my shoulder blades, then the crack over my head, on my arms. The sweet feeling as the whip tasted my flesh caused more tears to flow. I tried so hard to not move, but my body had it’s own will and I trembled more. “No, no, no, no” I whispered to myself, craving this feeling of rapture.

Sensations flooded every cell of my body.

The knife withdrew and I wept at the loss. His knee again found the juncture between my legs. A hand possessed my waist, the other ran over my back, a nibble on my earlobe. “How are you doing?” He whispered as His hand slipped down my belly to my lips soaked in my juices.

A moment of sanity entered my consciousness as I thought of how to answer such a question. How does one answer when the world has fallen from beneath ones feet and the body is wrapped in something a mere human cannot fathom? I nodded and smiled. “Good.” And I knew it lacked the true meaning, but unable to give more.

My womb clenched at His expert touch, “Good hmmmm?” My body arching back into His as much as I could. “Yes, yessss…yesssssss.” He applied pressure and I shuddered and was thankful for the bindings holding me, for my bones no longer knew how to keep me up. “Pleeeeease.” I begged.

His body moved against mine and I found my arms free. I could not let go of the cross as He leaned over an released my ankles, not even when He eased back and slipped His hands around my waist and tried to bring me back against Him.

Let go? But how?? My bewildered mind argued.

He brought His body against mine and added pressure to His hold on my waist.

Ahhhhhhh. I know how.

I pried my fingers from the cross and slid them down as I relaxed into His embrace. My feet somehow found the will to move as He turned me from the cross and into His arms. More sensations wrapped around me as W/we moved, and in moments I was softly falling onto His lap, His arms encircled me and I sank gratefully into His heat, wrapping my arms around His neck. I cried softly, my fingers tight in my hold, my body tense in it’s quaking, sluggishly relaxing into His comfort.

Words of comfort and approval fell from His lips, blanketing me in their warmth.

We stayed like that for eternity. And then He nuzzled my neck, and I shifted, snuggling closer. His breath heightened my body heat, making me squirm. He held me tight, hindering my need to move. His mouth playing havoc on my throat. I rubbed my breasts against His chest, the only movement I could make – and this I did gladly. His hand threaded through my hair and pulled my head back, baring myself to His view. A hand opened my legs and His fingers plunged into my wetness. I cried out and opened my legs further, pressing against His fingers, weeping in my urgency, then arching my back as He slipped two fingers in, feeling the pressure mounting, the mastery of His thumb swirling over my clit. Over and over, and ohhhh! My head pressed against His neck. His persistence never lessened, knowing patience was the only way to get me to where He was taking me. My blood coursed like raging fire. One hand around His neck, the other gripped His knee allowing me to lift my hips and open my legs further to His manipulation.

“Oooooohooohhhhhhhh!” I cried out, my head flung back, body arching in rigid release, thankful for the strength of His arm at my back, aching for Him to stop the torturous swirling of His thumb … afraid that He would stop. My orgasm was so intense it drained me of my strength and I went limp when it ended. I went to curl into Him, but His head came down and He took my nipple into His mouth and lapped, sucked, spinning my world back out of control. I twisting my body so He could have easier access.

He lowered my body, and slipped from under me. The hand that was at my back replaced His mouth, as His mouth replaced His thumb. “Oh, God. Oh God yes.” A finger entered me, another followed. His mouth showed no mercy over my sensitive clit. “No, no, nonono.” I gritted between my teeth, my body ignoring my pleas as it squirmed higher. My hands found His hair, delving in and grabbing handfuls, pushing Him down, then seeking His shoulders and pulling him up. “Please.”

He stroked, traveling up my hip, swirling over my pelvic bone, to my stomach, the undersides of my breast. “What?” He took my nipple in His mouth and laved attention until it peaked, then went to the other.

“I need You, Master. Please.” My body pressed against His, my hands pushing Him into me, my nails raking across His muscles. “Inside me. Please” He allowed me to remove His shirt, popping buttons in my haste until He placed His large hands over mine and kept them there until I quieted. “Please.” I whispered, eyes shut tight under the blindfold I still wore.

Moments, years, seconds later I gloried in His nakedness, legs rubbing against the hair covering His, hands traveling excitedly over the strength of His back, breasts pressed eagerly against His chest, my lower body desperately grinding relentlessly against His thick hardness. My mouth sought and found His, I nipped at His lower lip in need and desperation, sucking and demanding.

He took my hands and placed them above my head. “No. No, please.” “No?”

I groaned. “Please.” So lost in desire I couldn’t think. He bit my lip and held it there, allowing His control to wash over me, calm me. I forced myself to relax. Crying at the injustice of this demand. Tears coursed down my cheeks and I tried to catch my breath. I turned my head into my arm. I dared not move when He placed both my wrists into one hand, or when His fingers brushed between my legs and opened the folds there. But I could not stop the cry of joy and the thrust of my hips when He sunk into my tightness and captured my neck in His mouth.

“Oh, God. Yes, please.” I cried over and over again as He plunged deeper into me.

He drew my leg over His arm, drawing me up. My knees opening wider for Him to pounded harder and deeper. Already swollen from my climax, I could feel Him stretching me, filling me, as I welcomed His masterful thrusts. My head thrashed side to side, hungering for more as He found my breast, or nipped my throat, or sucked at my earlobe. Still holding my arms above my head with one hand, His other slipped under my hips and slammed me up, showing no mercy, and I welcomed it, craved His dominance, meeting each thrust with one of my own. When both hands went under my hips I wrapped my arms around His shoulders, my legs around His hips.

As He came inside me I cried out in rapture!

We laid like that, His weight a comfort, for some time, my body languid but still occasionally trembling.

I don’t remember when He adjusted our position so His front was to my back, a blanket covering our bodies. I do remember when He removed my blindfold and then placed His arm around my waist to cup my breast – the true source of warmth.

I smile as I slipped into oblivion.

   Lay back and enjoy what's to come. I'll tie you down and ride you numb.

   Your body's mine to do with as I will, so I'll carress your sacs until they fill.

   In the heat of passion, I'll use my nails and on your back will be the sight of trails.

  Close your eyes and hold on tight, because I've got you all damn night.

   If you think I'm done, don't hold your breath.

   When I am, you'll have died a thousand deaths.
 
  You're mine until the morning light, so I'll straddle you until there's no fight.

  The jewels you've grown may well soon burst, and - maybe - that shall quench My thirst.

  I'll carress your body to a quiver - I'll make you shake - I'll make you shiver.
 
  I demand your body - I'll steal your soul. I can make you half...or make you whole.

   ...Remember Me when you awaken; Your back will show you weren't mistaken.