MichelleW

I speak with so many people; the questions are always the same.   Sexual in nature, play or scene oriented… they are questions that don’t give insight into a person.  A waste of time, mine and theirs… sex and scene is only a miniscule part of a bigger picture. Kinky sex is no longer the social taboo it once was.  I can find a man willing to whip my ass, bind me… whatever I want.  I am a woman after all and even as an overweight woman getting laid is not remotely hard to do. As far as the scene goes  I have been exposed to ass play , blindfolds, bondage, cages, collars, electric play, canes, crops, enemas, eye contact restrictions, face slapping, gags, hair pulling, housework, leashes, masks, needle play, training, orgasm control, humiliation, knife play, objectification, vibrators, spanking, vacuum play, blah blah blah… If I have a limit now it’s because society, my moral fiber and mental stability would be violated if it were trespassed.  I have heard it said and more than once that Dominance lives to push limits. That’s not true, it’s just a stereotypical idea, or it’s the only tool of an uninventive person, that doesn’t make a Dominant, it makes a party favor.   I have to live with my choices.  We can talk about slavery and what that means, however, the other party is not going to be held accountable or blamable, even if they led the charge.  At the end of the day I and I alone answer to my actions.

Allowing someone to destroy you for their pleasure is not altruistic, its foolishness….Hello?!!! A irrevocably broken toy gets thrown in the trash.  The Emperor is naked!  Wake up you're a doormat.

The power exchange starts with trust.  If it doesn’t, then you’re blind.  Trust, well what do you trust them in? What does that mean?  You better know the answer to that.  We think we know someone, but what we really know is who we want them to be, then we are devastated when they aren’t the person we thought.  Our trust is violated! We should start by knowing who we trust, not the person we think we see because of our own wants and needs but who they really are by action, let their life speak for them, open your eyes ….

If you take all that away, what’s left?  There is so much more once you get over the kink, I don’t think the path gets warm until you pass the spark of the physical.  Yet, I think I might be solitary in my view…  I have been asked what I could provide for my partner, here is a list and it’s not exhaustive by any means: respect, obedience, submission, loyalty, dependability, integrity, intelligence, companionship, humor, insight, understanding, trust, desire to please, compassion, sexual gratification, devotion, authenticity, faithfulness, challenge, friendship, love, affection, adoration, determination, cooperation, service… bottom line if these are not traits you value, then enough said I am not for you.

I may not find the one, and I am more and more okay with that.