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Me missus bought a paperback
Down town on Saturday,
I had a peep into her bag;'Twas "Fifty Shades of Grey."
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
Her left hand held a length of rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet
A cuppla minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris ,
You would see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in tra_ction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude, just naked like,
Bent forward just a bit ..
I took a pace to brace meself And stood on her left tit!
Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!"
Well readers, I won't tell no more
What happened on that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned "fifty shades of grey". |
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Well i am very pleased with myself. It is almost 2 weeks since i stopped smoking. Smoked for 29yrs then decided i didnt want to do it anymore so i just stopped. Not using any form of nicotine replacement and not had a cigarette since.
Piece of cake.... GO ME!!!!! |
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LeatherBelt4u.... what a dick!!! |
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why do so many men put up pics of their knobs?
We dont want to see it.... they are not the most attractive part of a man and to be honest they come in only three sizes.... SMALL, MEDIUM AND LIAR. I mean lets be honest.... when you've seen one cock, you've seen em all *yawns* |
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY CM FRIENDS ESP DebbieDD1082 and KiteMaster.
xxxxxxxxx |
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Such a shame that some Doms ( excuse me while i piss myself laughing ) feel it necessary to call a sub who isnt a size zero a 'gross pig' etc. If you want to know who this person is message me and i'll let you know.
I stood up for my friend and messaged him. He rudely messaged me back ( sigh... no surprise there then) and blocked me hahahahahahahahahahaha |
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After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the womans nightstand. He nervously asks,'Is this your husband? 'No, silly,' she replies, 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, Is it your your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured. 'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers. 'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands. She whispers in his ear. 'That's me before the surgery.' :o) |
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Just spent a lovely weekend in Wales with deb, sarah, Roy, brian and trev... my friends from the 50's chatroom.
Trev you were amazing... working out and co ordinating train times and arrivals for all of us. Because of you everything went smoothly.
We had a lovely weekend together but the only disappointment was NO GATES deb!! lol |
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Just seen a pic on a Doms' profile of him peeing in the loo. Some would say that isn't a very flattering pic. However I disagree... GIVE THAT MAN A MEDAL!!!... not many men can pee in a loo and not miss! |
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Had a lovely evening out. Was treated to a fab meal out followed by several games of poker ( of which i won most mwhaaa).
A lovely evening spent with a dear friend. What more could a girl ask for.
Thank you.. you know who you are
xxxx |
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Well here we are in 2011.
The 50's room is really taking off and we have a great bunch who come in regularly to chat.
I want to thank you all... the room is a great place to chat and i am laughing constantly. You all need to be told though.. that you are all barking mad. lol
xxxx |
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Happy New Year to all my friends.
Hope 2011 is a good year for you. |
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Very sick with food poisoning.
Looks like there will be no Christmas in my household this year :( |
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Kara won strictly.
Absolutely brilliant dancer and well deserved winner!! |
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I am English. Therefore I drink Earl Grey tea and live in a castle with my butler called Jeeves |
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So David Chater has admitted to claiming fraudulent expenses, false accounting. Typical bloke.. out for what he could get ... just what i have always said about M.P's. Out to line their own pockets.
My advice where M.P's are concerned is this... DON'T VOTE, IT ONLY ENCOURAGES THEM! |
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WHY do men put pics of their cocks on their profiles?
Don't you guys know it is the least attractive part of a male body and frankly not something i want to look at. |
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I have just become a Nana to a beautiful baby boy named Toby.
I am very proud. Was with my daughter and her husband when he was born.. a wonderful experiance.
I am very proud |
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Today i had some wonderful news. My daughter is expecting my first grandchild.
Its amazing to think that my baby is now going to have a baby. It only seems like 5mins ago i had her... and i am now going to become a grandmother.
I am so blessed... and life is good |
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Saw Muse live last night at 'Seaside Rendevous'... I'm still buzzing... it was AWESOME!!! |
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Thought this would make you laugh......
What do you get if you cross peter pan with travel sickness pills??......
A boy who never throws up! |
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Having read some Doms profiles i felt the need to post a new journal entry.
The profiles that have made me laugh are the ones where the Dom insists that if a sub emails him she is to address him as Sir. Why??
I am submissive but to only one man and he was my friend before anything else happened.
To all you Doms who think all subs should call you Sir just because you say you are Dom, i say this...
Get over yourselves.
I am slave to my one but would never be submissive to another any more than i would be submissive to the guy that owns the paper shop down the road.
So many guys think that calling themselves a Dom gives them the right to expect submission from all sub women. You guys really are just too funny hahahaha |
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Happy new year.
I wish you all health, wealth and happiness.
Blessed be
xxxxx |
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I have been watching the news coverage on the terrorist attacks on Mumbai.
It makes me sick to my stomach that these men can unleash such untold horrors onto innocent people. They disgust me... they most certainly are not human and therefore dont deserve to be treated as such.
My heart goes out to all those that have suffered at their hands, to those who lost their lives because of these sub human men... and also to the families of those who were injured and lost.
Perhaps the entire world should take a good long look at themselves and realise it doesnt matter what you believe in, your creed, colour etc... we are all human and we need to learn to live together.
Whats all this rubbish i hear about muslim terrorists dying for their cause, going to paradise and landing themselves a bunch of virgins??
Are they really stupid enough to believe that rubbish?... they are??... well well, wont they get a nasty suprise when they die.
i send my love out to the world.
Blessed be
xxx |
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The wedding was amazing. I cried buckets.... my daughter looked stunning. As she stepped out of the limo the vision before my eyes took my breath away.... simply stunning.. absolute perfection.
Everyone had a wonderful day.. the weather was hot and sunny and yes... i did wear the pink dress and the big hat lol. |
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Looking forward to my daughters wedding on saturday. Cant believe i am wearing a pink dress...eeewwwww lol |
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Please please please... read my profile before mailing me. I have lost count of the number of emails i have received asking me if i am looking. There is an opening statement on my profile which states that i am not.
It really doesnt make a Dom look good if they cant even be bothered to read a basic profile before sending an email. Its not rocket science guys so come on... make the effort.
ok rant over. |
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What a scary afternoon.
All hell broke loose on the beach this afternoon. All the emergancy services were there incl the coastguard, fire service, police and paramedics.
It seems a man and his son had decided to go canoeing near the mouth of the river in a gale force wind with the tide coming back in fast, extremely strong currents and very rough sea despite the red flags flying.
It turns out the family were on holiday here from Cardiff.
A man, thank god, was found about 40mins later in the river i believe upside down in his canoe... but not certain about whether or not he was still with the canoe.
The big red and white coastguard rescue helicopter had landed on the beach in front of me and shortly after about 20 men carried the rescued man past me to the helicopter where he was airlifted to hospital in Torquay.
The man had to be resusitated and i am praying with all my heart that he survives.
The local news reports that the man airlifted to hospital was the son.. The father tragiclly drowned. |
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Today i went to Dartmoor with my 'someone special, and guess what happened..... He got mugged by a Dartmoor pony. Now i know as a good slave (lmao) i am not supposed to laugh but i am human and i couldnt help myself. The pony almost got away with his phone and wallet hahahahaha.
Going out for dinner tonight. He spoils me rotten and i adore him.
xxxxxx |
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isnt it sad how some so called doms find it necessary to send vulgar pictures of themselves and then take umbridge when you tell them off. They then constantly hit the report profile button to get ones profile suspended for 24 hours. Pathetic or what.
You know who you are... you silly little man |
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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY esp to my 'someone special'... love You loads and loads.xxxxxx |
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Well what can i say... London was wonderful.
my 'someone special' treated me like a princess the whole time.
My love for him has deepened still further and i cant imagine life without him now.
Thankyou Sir for everything.
I am Your devoted slave for the rest of time.
xxxxxxxx |
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I am very excited.... like a kid at christmas. I'm going to London next week with my someone special. We are going to see phantom of the opera and hoping to attend LAM. Getting my hair done on monday so i will look good... dont want to let my 'someone special' down, but rather make him proud to be seen with me.
I'll let everyone know how the trip was when i get back.
Be well and safe
love gg. xxx |
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Dear god give me strength. I just read a so called Dom's profile and i dont know whether to laugh or call the BDSM police. In it he describes in detail what he would like to do with a girl. He evidently hasnt thought it through because if he did actually do what he wants to with a girl she would require either a doctor or an undertaker.
It just goes to show that some people on this site really do have a zero grasp on reality.
Have fun everyone... be well, be safe and most of all... be realistic and keep your feet firmly on planet earth and not ' planet moron'
grinz |
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well here we are.... 2008.
Happy new year everyone. I hope it brings you everything you desire. A message to my 'Someone special'... i love You and i'll never let You go.... You know who You are. xxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Went to Extremm again last night, wearing a gorgeous corset and long velvet skirt. Had a great time. Everyone is so friendly there.
Pic appearing on my profile shortly so please check back.
Hope everyone is well
gg.xxxxxxxxx |
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Last night was fun.... my first fet event and it was nice to see so many people there.
I saw a lovely piece of rope work done... something i have always wanted to try.
It felt great to dress up and put on the make up. Makes a change from the usual 'hair tied back, jeans and sloppy sweater' lol.
Cant wait for the next event giggles.
Going to the Exeter munch on tuesday so looking forward to that too.
Have a great weekend everyone
love and light
gg xxxxxx |
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The munch in Plymouth was fun... lovely people, lovely pub, lovely food and i shared it with someone special 
Tonight is the party at Extrem. Unfortunately my someone special cant make it so i am going with two very special friends.
I'll report back tomorrow on tonights activities.
Love and light to A/all
gg.....xxxx |
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well i got my hair cut yesterday.
Its about 5 inches shorter now and looks better.
Put it in curlers and it went wild lol.
Plymouth munch tonight.
Hope everyone is well
gg  |
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Off to get my hair cut on Tuesday ready for the Plymouth munch on Wednesday and Club Extremm on Thursday. I think its gonna be a good week.
Hope everyone is well
gg  |
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Went to the Torquay munch last night and had a great time.... a bunch of total perverts... just my kinda folk lolol. Thanks guys for making me feel so welcome |
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