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michisub

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Friends:
FantasyLeatherladydezireflfootgoddess72MistressCosetteMistressFiancial

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Hello, my name is michisub and I'm a SWM sub/slave with an emphasis on the slave type of mentality. I prefer Old Guard type owners who understand what slave ownership is about. I am open to all kinds of people and all kinds of ideas. I am not perfect in my servitude, merely striving to be better as time goes by.

My life situation has changed from where it was previously and currently I am only seeking to speak with Dominant or submissive friends. I will meet in person on extremely rare occasions, but the energy has to be exactly right. The only people who should consider meeting me are those who want a safe encounter to explore their kinky interests and those interests naturally should coincide with mine.

As a slave, I have no right to be selective in an owner... but I do have preferences that I'm sure many of you will appreciate. You should enjoy foot and body worship as a matter of course and know deep in your heart that I can kiss the sole of a foot with the same passion I can bring to a set of lips. Female Supremacy, trampling, objectification and other similar practices are certainly a plus and will make me gravitate in your direction.

By the way, I'm not a studmuffin. Please realize this when you contact me. Consider me more like a panda bear with glasses and salt-n-pepper hair. The good news is that I tend to be shy at times and somewhat insecure. Traits that can lead to a more submissive mindset. Since I realize my limitations, I work that much harder to please.

Thank you for considering my servitude and have a wonderful day. By the way, the profile is a royalty free stock photo and I claim no exclusive right to it.

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7/17/2013 9:57:36 AM

You must have some balance between your vanilla and kink lives. Let's face it, you are going to spend a lot more time working, eating, and taking care of the daily grind than you will whipping and flogging each other. The focus should be on a balanced relationship.


7/10/2013 10:07:28 AM

Ladies - no one wants their time wasted. Be as upfront to others as you want them to be to you. If you want to meet, then set it up and get a phone number, etc. If they are hesitant, stop talking to them. They are not ready or are using you as wank material. It really is as simple as that.


5/27/2013 10:09:11 AM

Have a safe holiday everybody. Please keep all those wonderful people who have went before us to protect our country in your thoughts. You know, I always used to get mad when I thought about people having picnics, etc. on Memorial Day, but not anymore. People should enjoy life and celebrate as much as they can while they're here. IMHO.  :)


4/29/2013 7:03:47 AM

Just a thought here...financial Dommes are all right in my book. Even though CM has more than its fair share of them, they are entitled to advertise (in my humble opinion) and all that. What I don't get are those that say they are on-line only. The implication is that guys should send them money just because they look pretty. I suppose I should respect that, but it seems rather bizarre to me.


9/25/2012 10:52:13 AM

There does not seem to be that many lifestyle women into trample, but the pro-dommes seem to love it. I wonder why that is? Is it just because it is one of the easiest things a pro-domme can do, or is it because it is more fun after they try it and they begin to like it? Anybody with any insight, I would welcome you to write me and share your thoughts.


9/8/2012 1:56:35 AM

I find myself drawn more and more into the world of hypnosis every day.


4/23/2012 10:19:48 AM

More thoughts for the day - I recently read a very nice profile from a woman seeking cucks. The problem was that she is asking for a very confident, alpha male type of person. Do you see the problem here? A cuck derives at least some of his satisfaction from having his self-esteem crushed. An alpha male does not. She later says she's really not attracted to a submissive wimp. Once again - that becomes an issue as she is not attracted to the very thing she's seeking. This my dear readers - drives me nuts.  :)


4/11/2012 9:40:49 AM

Another observation. I have seen a lot of profiles where Dominants want to fill multiple positions in their household. Here's a tip, if you work really hard and focus, you just might get one really good relationship out of all the people you meet. Talk to poly people, they'll tell you how hard it is to manage multiple partners.


4/11/2012 9:38:08 AM

It is a day filled with bright sunshine. That always seems to make life better. Remember to make each day count the best that you can and that everything you do matters to somebody. 


3/14/2012 11:06:07 PM

Once again I see a profile that only seeks to draw a very narrow type of attractive person to it. Ask yourself a question - if someone is undeniably gorgeous and they clearly have a great sense of self-worth and self-esteem, then why are they on a BDSM web site? Most likely they want money or they are not real. While it is true that subs and slaves come in all shapes and sizes, do not expect supermodels to be on here wanting to be a sex slave to you unless you are a hardbody studmuffin. The same rules that apply in the vanilla world apply here too. The only difference is that kink can give one an edge in being with certain types of sadistic and masochistic people. Remember... with beauty comes power. With money comes power. With a mobile home comes predatory lenders and exorbitant lot rents.   :)   Keeping it real here on CM - michisub -


3/1/2012 10:08:27 AM

It would be cool if CM allowed us to define search parameters. For instance, if I search for profiles under the word search "no limits" then I will get back all the profiles that talk about doms seeking no limits subs AND also every single person who is stating that there is no such thing as a no limits slave. See the problem?


3/1/2012 10:02:56 AM

It seems as if CM might want to consider separating people by age on this site. There are so many young people who do not want anyone as old as their parents and a lot of older people who do not want to play with anyone under the age of 35. It is a very weird kind of age-ism that exists on this site. Anyone else notice this?


2/2/2012 10:02:24 PM

Smile... what have you got to lose by spreading a little joy?  :)


12/26/2011 1:37:14 PM

Okay - time for a little bit of a polite rant. Reading some of these profiles just makes me want to shake my head. Dommes - if a guy is rich, emotionally stable, unattached, unmarried, rugged and handsome - he's not going to clean your toilet or lick the bottom of your shoe. He's going to be trying to score a one night stand at the club downtown. I know this sounds a little condescending, but I can't help it. My wish for 2012 is that all of the non-kinky or completely unrealistic people get off CM and call their new website something like "vanillafairytalesforwannabes dot com." 


12/2/2011 12:17:15 PM

Happy Friday everyone.  :)


11/14/2011 6:01:37 PM

Another thing is foot massages. Every vanilla woman and lifestyle woman should have a lot more of them. They make you feel great and sub/slaves love to give them. If they do not, give me a call.  :)


10/22/2011 9:20:45 AM

Not sure why someone has to be a stud just to lick a foot or rim an asshole. Same with those of you into toilet play. Do you really need a handsome guy when all you are really doing is using his mouth?


7/1/2011 10:48:40 AM

I believe a large majority of the people on here (men) want simple wank off material. They view this as a game where the more the interact with someone who excites them, the more they get out of the encounter. This leaves the real dominants frustrated and the real slaves competing with the people who are not serious about the lifestyle. It is like a field of weeds where every now and then you find a flower. I am a real person, but how do you convey that in this kind of forum? A strange dynamic, eh?


3/7/2011 10:27:52 PM

Time for winter to stop treating us all like masochists.  :)


1/29/2011 7:34:56 PM

Subs and slaves serve for a reason. There has to be something in it for all parties for a consensual relationship to work properly. To expect them to work without any TPE in return is like pulling up to a drive-in and asking them to give you food without paying. This does not mean there must be an exact quid-pro-quo, only that without an incentive, a slave will feel neglected and want to leave. For those of you who do not understand history - real slaves ran away!


1/29/2011 7:27:21 PM

Put a new royalty free stock photo up. Of course a facial photo is available, but only after I know a person well. It is not wise where I live to put up a photo.


12/13/2010 11:17:20 PM
There seem to be a lot of people on this site who are surprised when so-called submissives act in a completely selfish manner or who throw away seemingly good relationships. They should not be. The lack of "true" communication is what causes it. It seems to me that we are communicating more than ever through various technological means and yet - no one is listening. When your so-called sub/slave (that you have never met in person before) tells you they need money for a bus ticket in order to come to your location to serve you, why does that not raise substantial questions in your head about their life situation? If they are submissive and lifestyle (pro-Dommes have a different relationship with their subs), then why are they giving you a laundry list of what they want to do? Limits yes, preferences yes, expectations? Really? Who then, is the dominant in this scenario? The bottom line is - you may be hearing what is said - but that is the easiest skill to master.

10/19/2010 1:21:46 PM

Hello everyone. Just a friendly reminder that I do know there are some intelligent people on CM. Sometimes we are so bombarded with the noise, we cannot hear the music.  :)


7/13/2010 12:46:29 PM

Hello - It seems like it has been a long time since I have posted anything. Even though I have met some wonderful people, remember to use your common sense (and a healthy dose of skepticism) on this site and you will have a better time. Right now I'm just enjoying life and looking at the people here. I guess I'm Dom-watching for the heck of it. It is a lot of fun, kind of like sitting in a D/s cafe and watching the crowd go on by. Too bad I'm the slave and have to go fetch my own drinks.  :)


3/2/2010 12:56:30 PM
Spring is coming now... and with it comes the great time of renewal for us all. Have a bright, sunny day.

10/1/2009 4:32:31 PM
I'm quite taken with the series Manor House on PBS. Simply one of the most fascinating things I have ever seen. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it is a look at the Edwardian (very similar to the Victorian era) aspect of British society in the early 1900's. The rules and protocol are delightful and all that was missing were spanking benches and a love of BDSM. If you are into this period, this series is simply a must for you.

7/28/2009 7:00:12 AM
Who would make a good celebrity dominant? For my money - 1. Anjolina Jolie - looks good in leather and is just crazy enough to make you think she might not respect your limits. 2. Lucy Liu - was great in Payback with Mel Gibson. 1. Bebe Neuwirth (Frazier's wife on Cheers and Frazier) - Her voice simply drips with power.

7/27/2009 11:49:41 AM
Some good replies to my last post. Thank you all for your enlightened responses.

7/27/2009 10:18:57 AM
Hello to everyone... I guess it has been a while since I posted my last entry here. Two different dominants  commented that they read through some of my entries recently and so I wanted to update things a bit.

An observation: what makes the sub inside me melt is when I hear a dominant use a certain tone. It sounds like a command, not merely a normal sentence. For instance, if someone says - "I want you to do the dishes," that is an example of clear communication, but it does not carry a dominant tone. If a dominant says "get in the kitchen and do the dishes now," that is more precise, more specific. The first example can lead to questions such as: when do you want me to do them?" The second one is more direct and leaves no room for error. My point being, phrase your command so that a yes is the only possible response.

12/7/2008 6:32:51 AM
Happy Holidays! Christmas is almost here and we should be thankful that 2009 is too. With a new year, there is new hope and it springs eternal. Remember to take time and enjoy life, not just endure it. 

8/25/2008 5:32:22 AM
Hello everyone - You know, I just saw a very positive profile on here and I thought - wow... that was cool. It was very happy and just put together very well. There were smiley faces and exclamation marks and it was all pretty nice. After that, I took a look at my own journal and it seemed kind of negative. Everything was a comment on the darker side of Bdsm. Then I thought about my personal frame of reference. I'm not unhappy, but I'm not super happy either... kind of doing the limbo thing. Yet, I feel as if I should make a conscious effort to improve the happiness level of my journal... so here goes.

THINK POSITIVE!!!!!!





8/23/2008 7:27:39 PM
There appears to be a lot of people that want to own someone for life. That's a long time for most people and should not be bandied about casually. How about seeing if you can stand each other for a weekend first?

8/17/2008 12:30:57 PM
The newest observation - there seems to be a lot of women seeking platonic relationships with gay men. Apparently it has become fashionable the way that Paris Hilton accessories puppies as jewelry. My question is... does the gay guy enjoy this interlude? Are the women seeking the Will/Grace dynamic? What is it that the women are hoping to get out of the relationship?

8/13/2008 8:55:26 AM
Guess it has been a while since I posted. I guess it will continue to be a while.  :)

6/11/2008 9:46:49 AM
My question is... where do all these pro-dommes come from? I mean - good heavens, there must be thousands of them here on CM alone. Anyone else amazed by this?

4/27/2008 7:01:05 AM
The big question is... can any kind of alternative relationship truly work? Is 24/7 possible? I saw a profile the other day where the ad said the sub/slave must be solidly employed and mentally stable, but in addition, they were not to have any obligations and be free to move to them at the drop of a hat. How is that even possible? If it is, where can I get a job like that? 

Perhaps a freelance banker who works out of their home?

Are any of us real with our expectations?

4/8/2008 6:30:11 AM
It's been a while since I posted last. I guess I have been prompted to write by the enormous number of friends lately that have come out of the woodwork. Perhaps it is simply the fact that since winter is over, people tend to stop hibernating so much.  :)

1/10/2008 6:29:23 AM
You know what we need here in Michigan? A good bdsm whipping for every politician who visits our state.  :)

11/11/2007 5:13:17 PM
I need to clarify my last entry. I had a very intelligent Domme respond and while reading it, it was unclear to me as well. What I am trying to say is that in order to have a power exchange, there has to be a recognition of competing needs. The needs of both parties must be considered or the relationship will be way out of balance. It is fine if you treat your sub/slave as complete property and they sleep in a cage or eat out of a dog dish. If not, then you must recognize the second word in power exchange.

11/10/2007 7:27:55 AM


Lately when I read profiles that state "it is not about you or your wants" I think, that seems to make sense on the surface. A sub/slave should never put their priorities first, however, I am now experienced and I know better. What they are really saying is "we want to take everything from you without giving anything back in return." Like emptying a glass of water and not refilling it, there is nothing left inside. That is exactly what keeps me from finding a good Dominant in the first place.


11/10/2007 3:15:50 AM
Can you believe Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner? Imagine that.

Please be local

Please be Dominant

Please be honest

Please be sane

That pretty much sums up my qualifications for the "perfect" dominant. I don't care if you are male, female or a couple. I don't care if you are young, old, short, fat, disabled. I don't care if you are polyamorous, polynomial or polly want a cracker. Just please be local, Dominant, honest and sane. All four. Thank you.

11/9/2007 8:31:05 AM
Can anyone tell me a success story in the lifestyle? Feeling a little bit jaded again today. Is it possible to meet a dominant and be happy with her?

11/1/2007 5:58:41 AM
Just a minor rant here... why is it that the ratio of dominant women and submissive men are so skewed? I know a lot of women that love being in control, but they also refuse to dominate? Why is that? Is this Dom/sub stuff engraved on our genes?

Also... one Domme made a good point here recently. She said she was attracted to people who respect themselves physically. She is right in one sense and wrong in another. There are a lot of ugly people on here because they have low self-esteem. If they are physically beautiful, then they are not going to want to do your dishes and lick your feet. Make sense? Slaves are workhorses... not pretty prancing ponies. A beautiful woman on here should have a handsome vanilla boyfriend and a much less handsome slave. She should treat him well and vent her frustrations out on her slave while he is doing her nails. That is how it works in the real world and as pretty women, you should know that. If he is gorgeous ladies, he can be with anyone, not just you.

Finally, if you are going to make a living as a pro... you must have either looks, youth or attitude. Otherwise, you cannot get clients in a steady stream.

10/31/2007 6:42:14 AM
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I rarely use all capital letters, but this is one of those occasions where I figured it was okay. Truly, if Halloween is not a bdsm-inspired gothic kind of holiday, what is?

10/18/2007 3:34:44 AM

Everytime I see a pretty woman on-line, they are either a pro-domme or have a list of so many conditions that I find it exhausting to read them all. I realize that women rule the world through the granting of sexual favors and the pleasure of their passion, but truthfully, the older I get... the more I just want to become a monk.


If everyone thinks they are special, then no one is.


10/18/2007 2:58:49 AM
Interesting question... why are people who are anonymous also rude? Look at CB radio or the local internet chat room. People's aggression comes out when they hide behind a monitor screen. Where does all the anger come from? Are they really thinking that?

10/17/2007 4:39:47 AM
Well, it is a new day for me personally and my life has changed a lot recently. For all of you who do know who I am... it has been a big adjustment. I'm still trying to find myself.

I'm still interested in the lifestyle. I am still looking for that something... but I'm not quite sure what that something is.


8/24/2007 7:47:30 PM
Kind of a tough day for me personally. My home life (reality) keeps interferring in my desired life (fantasy?). Why can't things be simpler?

Well... this is kind of a depressing little entry, so I will leave you with a happy note... only 122 shopping days until Christmas!

8/10/2007 7:35:48 PM
I have just re-discovered an old friend on-line here and must say she strikes me as charming now as she did in the past. She has a lot of depth to her character and I look forward to learning out more about her.

Besides, I noticed she posted some of my thoughts in her journal, so she must be very intelligent as well.  :)

8/3/2007 6:27:39 AM

I am looking for people with class and intelligence. You do not have to be rich to be classy... it is a mindset. A way of acting and behaving that shows you are civil and filled with a sense of grace. That is what drives me personally. Those people that attract me have a sense of style and purpose. I see them here and there on CM, but I wish there were more of you.


7/26/2007 9:17:44 PM
As of late, I have become totally fascinated with the PBS series "Manor House." For those of you who do not know what it is, it is a look at the Victorian Culture of the late 1800's and early 1900's. More precisely, it is the Edwardian era of living and PBS took a bunch of ordinary people and transformed them into the Masters and servants of the day. I have never seen the series, although I would dearly love to. What was truly interesting on the web site was the comments made after the experiment was complete. The servants were complaining, but not totally dismissive whilst the Master and Mistress of the house completely enjoyed it. It is a true reflection of the class distinctions among society during a different age. The one thing almost everyone agreed on though was the more reflective and quiet pace of life they lived in. A lesson for us all.

7/14/2007 8:16:57 PM

comment deleted.


7/6/2007 12:39:13 PM
So many ads have the 24/7 designation with them and it is understandable that Dominants would like 24/7 slaves. The problem is, not very many people have lives conducive to 24/7. Additionally, many people suggest that you need to be a slave and work at the same time. This puts so much pressure on the slave paradigm that it almost becomes self-defeating. Think about it, if a person works and then slaves 24 hours a day... how long before they are burned out? I know, I've done it.

7/6/2007 7:50:41 AM
By the way, sexy shoes can still be practical ladies. There are such a thing as comfortable dress shoes and sandals out there that rise above the level of Mary Janes and flip-flops.

7/6/2007 7:48:46 AM
You know what I find most exciting in a profile? When someone states that they are looking for exact servitude. What I mean by that is when someone says... when you wake up in the morning you will prepare breakfast, make my coffee with two sugars and cream, etc. They articulate their desires... not micromanage them. See the difference?

If not done correctly, the Dom/Domme punishes you. End of story. Whenever I read where someone says they are not interested in punishment or pain or anything even remotely related to D/s, I wonder why they are not on a vanilla website.

6/22/2007 10:02:48 AM

I think I am back to being semi-vanilla. Mainly because the 24/7 model seems almost impossible to contemplate and the "meet me/beat me" model doesn't seem to be as enticing as it once was. Perhaps I am vanilla now with a chocolate line of syrup across my back.  :)

6/1/2007 5:24:37 AM
We are drawn to this lifestyle like moths to the flame. Someone recently (you know who you are - smile) told me that she might have made the choice to give it all up if she could have then lived a more "normal" life. Of course, we then spoke about the notion that ignorance is bliss. How many of you truly wish to be blissful though? I once had a good friend who spoke about being "blissed out" whenever a certain guru of hers spoke. I took this to mean that she was essentially brainless and all accepting when listening to him.

My point is this... there is an inherent paradox. By taking the blue pill (if I am thinking that this is the one that brings you back to the Matrix as a schmuck) you are saying that choose to be a schmuck. By embracing yourself and taking the red pill, you are saying that the unknown may be terrifying and tremendously risky, but that life is not worth living in a state of blissful ignorance.

In addition, a former Master who I respect greatly, once told me that esssentially it is only the super creative who are drawn to this blend of fantasy and reality, not the dull or dim witted. What does that say? What indeed.

5/23/2007 7:06:27 PM
Am I the only here who thinks that money Dommes or financial Dommes need to be identified by label so that they can be screened? I have nothing against them... heck, if I could pay $250.00 an hour, I'm sure I could have a lot of fun, but there are a lot of Dommes who get lost in the shuffle because of them, and that bothers me. Are you listening CM?

5/22/2007 7:55:23 PM
Greetings and beatings... just a quick note asking people to tell me the activity that they engage in that makes them feel the most dominant.

5/16/2007 5:49:02 AM
My last entry was a little over the top, but as I re-read it... I got to thinking, you know, that michisub guy is right. This is a great way to communicate and an awful way to communicate at the same time. It's cool that we are anonymous and can look at specific interests of another person, but people are far too quick to criticize and judge others. In addition, people are people, filled with quirks and flaws. For instance, my foot fetish is one of them. It is a flaw that only certain women can appreciate, but let me tell you, I have seen a woman orgasm through a foot massage alone and that's kind of cool. So, a flaw can still be beneficial... if you know how to use it to your advantage.

5/5/2007 7:22:18 PM
You know, I'm not one to list all of my pet peeves on here, especially because I know deep down that negative statements always reflect badly on the author of that statement.

Having said that though, I have to wonder what gives? I realize that the ratio of Dominant women to submissive men is roughly ten to one, but honestly, even with that ratio, how self-important can you some of you ladies be? You actually think you can specify the exact physical type of guy you're looking for? Get real. If he is such a studmuffin himself, he is probably already out hustling women at the bar and treating them like dirt.

When will you realize that while you are busy picking over the litter for the "winner," that the runt you overlooked is exactly the one who is willing to get your butt up in the morning, hand you a cup of coffee, make breakfast, serve it to you in bed and then be willing to kiss that butt in order to make it happy.

Honestly, what many of you want is impossible. Someone with the heart of the slave is rarely going to look like a Greek God.

Okay... I'm done with my rant.

5/4/2007 7:51:55 PM
Please, please, please... if you live in Michigan, identify a nearby city. There are some parts of this state that are ten hours away from each other. I need to know a city to see if it is worth a reply. Thank you X 3.

4/27/2007 4:55:13 AM
You know... I am not really sure that all of the trouble in this lifestyle is related to subs and slaves. It seems like a big chunk of it revolves around Dominants. Many of them do not seem able to control themselves very well. If they cannot, how do they possibly expect to be able to properly control others? Instead of slave training, I think there needs to be more Dom/Domme training.

4/18/2007 6:11:26 PM

I would like to hear from Dominants who enjoy objectification. What do you think is the source of this kink for you? Can you quantify it somehow?


3/27/2007 5:01:28 PM
Read a great post by some here on CM detailing the difficulty in maintaining long distance relationships (although I do wish to send a wink out to my East Coast friend - she knows who she is). It's true... distance makes the relationship almost impossible to manage, but alas, we do keep trying despite these difficulties because when you find someone you click with, it is hard to give them up.

3/18/2007 6:03:46 AM

By the way... a quick poll... can you send me the name of an actress that sends off strong dominant vibes?

For my money, one actress would be Susan Sarandon. Also that lady from Cheers... Bebe Neuwirth (did I spell that correctly?).


3/18/2007 5:58:24 AM
You know, I apologize to everyone for my message of the 17th of March. One thing I've always tried to do is maintain that positive spirit. Whenever I read other people's profiles that say things like "if you are a liar, cheater or a player, don't message me..." I chuckle to myself. Surely a liar, cheater or player is not going to recognize that trait in themselves, or if they do, they are certainly not going to acknowledge it to someone who can possibly send them wanking material. My point is this... staying positive is the way to find more people in the lifestyle who are happy and well balanced. I have fallen prey to my own smugness (a bad trait in a sub) and for that I truly apologize.

3/16/2007 9:36:14 PM
I just had a very unpleasant experience. A Domme who appeared to be very smart, sent me a question about my profile. I responded very quickly, telling her that she had misread the section she was asking about and she blocked me! So... I have a few questions:

First off, why would you ask a question you did not wish an answer to?

Secondly, how could you treat someone so badly while claiming to be so genuine?

Finally, how can you possibly consider yourself so ultra, ultra intelligent when you cannot read and understand a simple statement?

Needless to say... I changed my profile a bit and "dumbed it down." I was saddened to do so though.

3/3/2007 4:35:55 PM
What is the meaning of life? For people in the lifestyle, it must mean something, for there are loads of people who think about it all of the time. Why does our vanilla lives have to get in the way so much?

2/16/2007 7:23:52 PM
I know my last entry looked like one of those smarmy "I found mine" kind of messages, but instead of striking gold, it looks like I hit "fool's gold." Well, no one can blame me, right? You tend to think that everything is going to be smooth and trouble free and right about then is when the turbulence starts. Then the pockets of clear air turbulence and then the air sickness bags. Well, I was happy for a while there. I'm now back on the auction block.  :)

12/26/2006 8:59:03 AM
Update: No longer looking at present. I believe I might have actually struck gold.  :)

If you see me on and want to say hi, please do... just so you know I consider myself involved.

11/28/2006 9:06:40 AM
Well now... did everyone enjoy the holidays? Mine was especially trying, but for me holidays are the calendar equivalent of a menstrual cycle.  :)  Okay, so that may be a little harsh, but you know, holidays put me in a lot of different moods. The ones of my youth were great, but now they just feel like obligations to suffer though. Anyone else feel the same way?

8/14/2006 10:52:07 AM

Latest Update: I am currently exploring a new relationship and will be surfing a little less for the moment.  :)


7/21/2006 10:53:10 PM

Kind of melancholy tonight. Not really wanting anything at the moment, perhaps just someone in the lifestyle to talk to. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who just gets moody about all this. Very few people seem to be able to communicate their desires well. Ironic that in an age of excess, in an age of cell phones, computers and text messages, we are literally starving for "real" communication.


7/14/2006 1:06:07 PM

Let me pose a question: why does everybody like to meet a local sub or Dom, but then fail to put the city they live in on their profile? Seriously, people can live in my same state and be 11 hours away.


5/13/2006 6:35:36 AM
This is from a recent posting on another list. I have granted permission from myself to use it.  :)

Well, while it is true
that slaves are supposed to have their limits set by their owners, she actually 
uses the phrase "slavery under consent." This implies that even people claiming
to be slaves do so in a society that does not recognize the act of slavery as
being legitimate. Romans used to own slaves as property and the idea of consent
was foreign to them. Society used to support the notion of slavery (the Bible
practically has an outline for slavehood) and thus, a slave could have no
limits. Since society has now dictated otherwise, slaves today have to agree to
limits in order for them to be valid. So, the concept of slavery has changed.
Hence the semantical difference between these two valid viewpoints.

The most realistic model for today (IMHO) is "contractual slavery" and it can
be done, but only in like-minded people with compatible goals. Hence, it is
tough to find true masters, true mistresses and true slaves. A master may want
one thing and the slave may want another. Hence they are incompatible. To say,
hey, listen to the boss at all costs is not realistic either because most
slaves throughout history struggled to free themselves from slavery.

What is the best solution? Simply to find people with similar goals. Aye,
there's the rub.

5/7/2006 12:00:19 PM
By the way, are my journal entries readable? I've seen some colors that blot out text. How are mine?

5/7/2006 11:59:04 AM
Guess it's just a quiet Sunday today. Feeling kind of melancholy. Wondering where life is leading me again. Life is the harshest master/mistress of them all.

5/1/2006 12:17:00 PM
Recently, a beautiful and intelligent Domme asked me for a photo. In a rather timid response, I wrote that I looked more like John Candy than John Roberts... which led to the following thought train...

How important are looks to you?...

I think it depends a lot on what you intend to use the sub for. If you want a sexual servant who is going to be providing stud service, yes, looks are a big factor. If you have a fantasy of a hot-looking sub in chains and writhing naked in your bed, then yes, looks are a factor. If you want sex primarily, then your sub needs to appeal to you. Yet, if the sub is going to be lucky to even kiss your feet, then why do looks matter as much? You see, ugly guys scrub toilets better than good looking guys. Why? Because good looking guys think more of themselves. Even modest men have hugely inflated egos. Ugly subs tend to be more service oriented and know they are lucky to have their face buried in the rear of a beautiful woman...
 My point then, is simply understand that the psychology of slavery must take this into account. George Clooney is a submissive male, but why does he not serve a superior woman? Because he doesn't have to.   QED

4/24/2006 6:38:23 PM
Why is it we are too busy to engage in the fun of life? Everything is too hectic, too now, now, now. There is not time anymore for reflection. Whatever happened with society to make it speed up like it has?

4/4/2006 8:35:35 AM
Does anyone else think that BDSM has become so mainstream that it has lost a little bit of that taboo feeling? Sometimes I think about that and lament the passing of the super-secret days when no one spoke a word of this stuff. The question is, what am I reminiscing about? What am I longing for? Insight anyone?

3/22/2006 7:28:50 PM
Reading the recent forum posts about a chocolate strap-on made me laugh for some reason. Is that white chocolate or dark chocolate? The new slogan is "melts in your a** and not in your pants."  :)

3/12/2006 4:25:58 AM
It is early morning and I feel a little sentimental today. I remembered an old flame yesterday as I walked across an ornamental bridge and found myself still thinking of her in a positive light. Why is it that two people rarely fall in love at the same time? Why so much disparity? Makes one wonder. I've heard that whoever loves the most always loses in a relationship. Boy, I hope that is not the case.

2/24/2006 12:36:04 PM
Well now... I have been told by someone recently that my journal entries are too dark and negative. Looking at some of my more recent entries, that may be a valid point. I think it has to do with the notion that someone who is searching and has not found what they are looking for (hey, isn't that a song by U2?) will not be cheerful. When I am in a good relationship, I'm happy. So that is apparently what I'm missing.

Either I need a good solid relationship or an incredibly stern sadist... I'm not sure which.  :)

2/13/2006 11:10:12 AM
The voices in my head are back.

2/11/2006 1:05:15 PM

Okay,,, trying to avoid the "nabobs of negativism." Did Spiro Agnew actually say that?

Anyone over the age of forty please feel free to clue me in. You twenty somethings are fun to look at, but cotton candy is pretty too and all that leaves is a sugary taste and a sticky mouth. Now I can't decide if I'm horny or hungry.   :)


2/8/2006 4:23:36 AM
I just read a hoot of a profile. In it, the alleged dominant claims that they are marriage-minded and that they seek true love. Then they demand tribute and insist that anyone replying to the ad would be wasting their time without it. In other words, a pro-domme looking for true love. Further, the sub is then instructed that they must relocate to her state, be fit, attractive and well-endowed.
The sub would next be expected to give up all of their money and then simply work, work, work, then come back home... clean her house and then provide massages continuously. And people wonder why some of us subs are a little gun shy. Ouch.

2/4/2006 5:17:30 PM
It is a very rare Saturday night indeed when I get to hang out in my apartment. I am usually not here on weekends and it is weird because I don't really have anything to do at the moment. Another rarity.

2/4/2006 1:42:12 PM

To everyone... please remember to put your city or county on your profile. The Upper Peninsula is 11 hours from where I live and it's in the same state!

The only exceptions should be somewhere like Rhode Island or Hawaii.


2/2/2006 12:51:43 PM
Form a recent reply I sent to a nice young lady - "There are so many ways to look at it. I tend to fancy the notion that we have givers and takers. They are both necessary and equally important. Yet if one takes all the time and gives nothing in return, it causes friction because the sub does not usually get what they need emotionally. There is no give and take because it is all one sided. Hence, no power is really exchanged. That is why many female dommes do not like doormat subs.

On the other hand, too much give by a dominant and we view them as weak and too much take as a sub and we consider them "topping from the bottom." That is where the fine balance you mentioned before comes into play."

2/2/2006 8:12:55 AM
Dear Dominants/Dommes/Doms, etc. - After a number of recent chats, I must say that I am looking for LOCAL only as I am currently slaving for both family and economic reasons. This does not leave me a lot of time, but I do feel I can share quality time if the other person is flexible at heart and at least somewhat mature.

2/2/2006 8:00:29 AM
I am in a positive mood today and  just want to once again thank Collarme for their excellent service to the community. Their free website is better than most pay sites.   :)

2/1/2006 5:10:19 PM

Anyone ever notice all of the paradoxes inherent in the lifestyle? I want a Mistress who is strong yet sensitive. Can she be both?  I want someone who is powerful, yet can respect limits. I read these ads all of the time and many of them carry conflicted messages. So what gives?


1/30/2006 7:50:44 PM
Thank you for all of the compliments lately on my journal. Of course, if I allow the compliments to go to my head, please feel free to humble me. (smile) I have recently read a Master's page that had a list of solid rules and protocols. I am strongly in favor of eye and speech restrictions (although some Dominants do not like eye restrictions because they like to look you in the face when they issue a command). The reason why is that it trends towards objectification and that is something I enjoy. Not all Dominants like objectification though... and many submissives don't like it either. They tend to be more focused on having a relationship. Those that do like it tend to be more Master/slave. IMHO.
Anyone agree or disagree?

1/28/2006 9:56:39 AM
Well... after my brief statement in the journal concerning love, I will strive to move on and be a little more positive. (smile) Okay, when people talk about being "real," what are they saying?

Often, when I tell someone something "real," they get defensive. Why do people ask for reality and then shy away from it?

1/24/2006 11:28:41 AM
"Love Stinks!" - The J. Geils Band.

1/16/2006 4:23:06 AM
All right now... the pro-domme stuff is cool and all, but ladies, please do not come across simply as money grubbers, as this makes you seem submissive, not dominant.

1/13/2006 12:35:24 PM
Okay... time for an object lesson. There can be no power exchange without power actually being exchanged. I have read many profiles that state that they want service without having to discipline or punish or play with the sub. Hello... then where is the power exchange? If you tell someone to clean a room and they do it, then there is no power exchange. The sub/slave who cleans willingly is still looking for something, whether it is discipline, love, reward or abuse. There has to be a reason for the servant to serve. A voluntary slave with no incentive, reward or reason to continue, will not. They may do it for a while (been there, done that) but it can never be long term. So please, dominant ladies, it is unrealistic to expect everything for nothing. Okay?

1/6/2006 3:16:50 PM

Time for a New Year and a new attitude. You know, everybody has this image in their minds of how they want things to be. I don't really seem to have that lately. Maybe I just want to talk. E-mail me if you just want to share a fantasy or if you want to vent.


12/26/2005 12:41:40 PM
This is from a recent reply I made to a highly intelligent male dom frustrated with game players and SAMs.

"I guess I just wanted to make a point as well that often times "do me" subs have potential, but that they must be broken in and trained. So many times, this lifestyle seems so one sided. For instance, I have had multiple dommes where I have cleaned their house or served their friends and when it came time for some kind of reward (after really slaving), they did something that I was not even remotely interested in. If I have a foot fetish for example, than a whipping will do nothing for me. My main point being that as well as "do me" subs, there are plenty of "don't listen" dominants."

12/14/2005 11:10:18 AM

I think I'm just going to start telling the truth in all things and see if anybody else out there does the same thing. I'm not good looking naked, I don't really have time for anyone and I can be a do me sub/slave at times just because I want to explore some of my fetishes.

Hmmm... too much honesty? At least it is real. Now, tell me... who are you really?


12/9/2005 9:36:18 PM
Does anybody here do negotiated scening? By that I mean do you have a sub/slave do "no strings housecleaning" or anything like that? How about trading a massage session for a flogging session? Anybody here do that?

12/9/2005 9:01:48 PM
Well, I just broke up with the second vanilla woman I've had in my life for quite some time. It was unbelievable how things changed once I made a commitment to her. Must be commitment is no longer in fashion. Ah well, I'm not really sure what to look for anymore, I guess I need to be more vigilant, and yet... I must say, there are a lot of people out there who do not understand the concept of  intellectual and emotional honesty. For those who do, please write to me. Even if you just want to chat.

11/30/2005 8:18:01 PM
It is funny, when you're not looking, people seem to come out of the woodwork, when you're horny and desperate... you remain so. Can anyone figure out life?                      

I had one domme take me up on the footrest offer, too bad she lives in Wisconsin.  :(

11/25/2005 8:10:31 PM
Well... so much for vanilla.  :)

Anyways, anybody want a footrest?

9/27/2005 11:18:04 AM
I am still wondering how many people make a go of the lifestyle. People who really get fulfilled on both sides. People who can go out to dinner and have a great time as a vanilla couple, but then become a Mistress/slave when they walk through the door. Or those who just generally can keep the lifestyle going through the daily grind. As for myself, I've let the lifestyle slip a bit as I got hooked on a pretty cool vanilla woman. Luckily for me, (now I say that) she did feel the same way about me. Now I am free to explore again.

I never thought I would like vanilla again, but truth be told, I like both. I want to be my vanilla self in public and my kinky self in private. Anyone else feel the same way?


9/27/2005 11:12:31 AM
Can anyone believe October is almost here? I happen to like this time of year, just haven't had much time to appreciate it.

9/16/2005 6:51:57 PM
Well... it is middle September now. I've been very busy for the last year, but now life is easing up a bit. So now, I want to suck someone's toes.  :)

C'mon, somebody must be into that.

8/27/2005 1:04:04 PM

Okay... in a strange mood today. Need a good foot to rub.  :()


8/15/2005 4:27:37 AM
Another post used with permission from Ms. Angel: 
"truthfulness is the most important aspect of a submisive.  THey must first be truthful to themselves and whether they are truely submissive, truthful with them selves of their needs, wants and desires.  All before they can be truthful with the dominant.  When they are truthful with themselves, hopefully truthfulness in the lifestyle will of course occur."

8/8/2005 12:42:33 PM
Here is an excellent reply to my question that I received from a local male dominant and I am reposting it with permission:

"Oh, by the way, you cannot be truly submissive and obedient without truthfulness.  Otherwise you are just pretending.   Why be truly submissive and obedient unless you are also loyal?  Otherwise you are just pretending.   If you can be truly submissive and obedient, without pretending,  I am sure you will find a way to get all the experience you could ever want or need".  Marcus440

8/3/2005 11:59:30 AM
I just had a very interesting point from a very intelligent Domme, who is young, but seems very wise and mature for her years. She pointed out that in my little question, (and I am paraphrasing her), a submissive nature is least important because without everything else, you have nothing...simply a weak man. Good Answer...thank you MS.  :)

7/30/2005 10:33:07 AM
What do you think is the one quality that makes the best slave?

1. submissive nature and obedience?

2. Truthfulness?

3. Loyalty?

4. experience?

IM me and let me know. I'm interested in your opinion.


7/21/2005 12:03:52 PM
I should also mention that I am interested in things like trample, foot worship, foot play, heels, hose, bare, etc.     

Oh, the oral stuff is nice too...it allows one to work their way down to the feet. See a pattern developing?    :)

7/2/2005 11:26:26 AM
After speaking with a Domme recently...she asked me about what I am seeking. A fair question and one I have asked of many other people. After pondering a reply to her...I must say that I am seeking specificity and object-type play.

By specificity...I mean I am interested in certain things (although I have a broad range of interests). For example...I have a fantasy about being a slave on a farm. Very focused...it means that a slave actually has a function and is useful to its owners. Also, there is a certain animalistic aspect to it that is very nice. It would be quite humbling to sleep in a stall.

By object-type play, I mean things that promote objectification. Being a footstool, living in a cage and being locked in a closet are all things that bring out submission in me. One thing though...playing for real definitely helps. I once had two Doms wrap me up in plastic wrap and I broke free. Even though I still liked them, I never really respected them after at. Being truly bound means not being able to escape.

7/1/2005 1:06:04 PM
The question I always wonder about is...who is tough, really tough and who is simply just pretending to be tough. How can someone be extreme and not a little bit crazy? Is it possible?

6/19/2005 12:07:08 PM

Okay...still positive here...but just barely. Remember everyone...just be genuine!


6/9/2005 11:15:04 AM

Just a funky kind of day...this is the type of day where I would be a bad (disobedient)sub/slave, because my mood would want to take over my actions. This is the type of day where I should be beaten into submission and made to lick the floor clean. C'mon doms...give us what we want. Don't be afraid...if we didn't crave this stuff, we wouldn't be here. When you take from us, you give to us...that is your Zendom thought for the day. 



5/22/2005 11:00:12 AM
It has struck me what an excellent site this really is. Amazing in its scope and organization.

Tips for getting better results:

1. Keep it positive. Attitudes shine through your profile and journal. If you expect nothing but players, that is what you'll receive.

2. Be detailed in what you want. Let players weed themselves out.

3. Be realistic. Don't ask for a one-sided, completely controlling relationship without knowing who you're dealing with. he best sub/slaves can be shy, unfocused or unsure of themselves. If they were aggressive, then they wouldn't be who they are.

5/21/2005 8:31:34 AM
A lot of Dommes wonder why a sub/slave would like objectification. That is a tough question to answer. Treating a person like an object is not usually erotic for the dominant, but for the sub/slave, it can be a real fantasy fufiller.

I think it has to do with the fact that the sub/slave gets their charge from not being at the center of attention. They get to treated like property and that seems to be a central theme many of us want.

In addition, sub/slaves can turn off their mind and just exist. There's no ego to worry about when you are someone's footstool. Also, it reinforces the dom/sub power exchange greatly by illustrating the servant and the served. Further, there is a strong sense of humiliation involved and that is a powerful reinforcer in itself.

IMHO

5/3/2005 8:25:33 AM
I just had an e-conversation with a smart, Domme friend of mine and realized something new about myself. I enjoy the edge of the edge. I'm not looking for warm and fuzzy...what attracts me is the far out, but it doesn't have to be dangerous.

Let me give you an example...how come there are so few black, dominant couples looking for a white slave? I would think that would be everywhere. That seems attractive to me for some reason.

Or the dominant who wants to chain someone up in their basement. Scary, extreme, but interesting.

Or those that truly live an alternative lifestyle...Edwardian, Gorean, etc. Why are there not more of them? I would think there would be lots of people wanting a butler in this day and age. If that is too old fashioned, just have the sub/slave be a servant...

These people are hard to find...


Oh...and just a note about having servants...for those of you who really want one, treat them like one. Have rules - For example:

1. No talking unless spoken too.
2. Eyes down at all times.
3. Meals are leftovers.
4. Punishment is real and cannot be refused.
5. consistency is the norm.

Well, just more of my ramblings...have a great day!

1/19/2005 6:40:21 AM
I just wanted to say hello to all of the people I have been looking at on-line.

You know, even though there are a lot of male game players and wannabes, there are an awful lot on the other side of the fence too. Here are some examples:

1. Professionals masquerading as lifestyle.
2. Professionals acting like amateurs.
3. Females looking for females to play with their hubbies.
4. Females looking for romance exclusively.

Take out all of the rest who do not fit specific criteria and there is a woeful shortage on the other side too.

So is my message negative? No - keep looking...there are lots of people out there. Have hope and keep smiling.

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barbiebabe
 
 Age: 21
  Colorado