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Honestly not on here alot but am on F3tLif3 tons. (PunkRockFraggle) |
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Life seems to be getting a bit better finally :-). Honestly if I had a job life would be pretty sweet right now. I just have to be patient on that one tho lol. Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season.
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Seriously people need to stop causing drama and being immature. I have pneumonia and I am told that the stress could make it worse. I was almost admitted to the hospital for the night last night. Please stop with the immaturity and let me heal. It's messed up that some of the people who are being bullies know how sick I am. SO STOP |
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Seriously struggling right now... tired of having to fight so hard and get no where Being sick off and on for the last three months probably isn't helping my mood any... neither is the fact that the little comes out more when I am stressed and I am stressed almost all the time right now while I try and find a job in a crappy economy.... |
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Not sure how much clearer I can be. No face picture equals no response... short of offering up a messenger name in the message I will probably ignore it unless your writing skills blow me away or what not... |
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Miss having a Daddy and tired of having to be an adult when thinks pretty much f*cking suck right now.... |
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F3t L1f3 is fragglerocker. On there way more and it's way more extensive. |
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I am really not trying to be rude, but I have clearly stated that I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't have a face pic, I don't care if it's in the profile or the message but I am not going to do so. It's what I am comfortable with. I am fine if it's missed and I get asked why I don't respond but totally ignoring it after seeing it isn't very cool. |
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No picture no response, it's that easy. If you feel safer showing a picture through mail that is perfectly fine, but there at least needs to be acknowledgement of that. |
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Getting stalked by theexsinger AGAIN. no matter how many times you tell people I'm a dude because I won't cam with your lame a$$ it will not happen. Ever. Grow Up and act like the supposedly grown "man" you are and stop being a Douche. |
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I wish life could be simple and easy. |
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I got a new piercing today...yay... an industrial wouldn't have been my first choice but most everything else is already peirced lol.
On a side note, if I haven't responded to someone's message it wasn't intentional so feel free to resend. The exception to that is if it sounded like dime store porn, keep that to yourself I can find my own porn lol. |
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Work is akin to a three ring circus tonight lol. Loud, crazy, and action packed |
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First good night in a while. Feeling more optimistic. :-) |
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I guess I am officially single. I don't think it matters what side of the split you are on; if you have a heart... it breaks. Especially when it's not wanted but nothing else seems to work... |
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Since apparently someone who shall remain unnamed is spreading lies about me I will show the log of the conversation where he threatens to report me for not camming with him.
1:49:05 AM
Jason Tyrell: how are you?
1:49:20 AM
fragglegirl: been better, broken engagement and all that
1:49:31 AM
Jason Tyrell: do you own a webcam?
1:49:49 AM
fragglechyck: yes but I am not turning it on right now
1:49:57 AM
Jason Tyrell: why not?
1:50:24 AM
fragglegirl: because I am in crappy around the house clothes and because I don't want to
1:50:49 AM
Jason Tyrell: I would like to be sure you are real
1:51:12 AM
fragglegirl: it's not going to happen tonight. if you think that makes me a dude so be it
1:51:24 AM
Jason Tyrell: fine
1:51:29 AM
Jason Tyrell: I will report you on collarme
1:51:31 AM
Jason Tyrell: bye jerk
You know it is seriously messed up that immature men can be so pathetic and cruel. I just got out of an engagement with a person I was with for almost three years. It hasn't even been a week. I DON'T NEED THIS!!!
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*Sigh* Why do grown men seem to think that I want to be their b*tch/wh*re when I have made it clear that I am not freaking interested. And asking if I like it up the butt does not equal a hello. |
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Well I guess after last night I am no longer engaged but taking a break... like that ever works. I'm tired of life throwing me in the corner with love. Love doesn't seem to really conquer all, especially when the parties have different things that make them happy. So ready to just throw in the towel. |
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Why does life have to be so damn hard... |
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Majorly stressed out... stress is apparently a good diet because I can't seem to eat much to save my life for the most part. I wish there was a magic wand to wave and be stress free; that would be awesome. |
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Old profile for safe keeping
I won't respond to someone who doesn't have a picture.
I guess this has to be put up here since men (call me sexist) can't seem to read to the end of the profile to find out that I am collared (even though my main pic is a picture of me IN a collar)... I AM COLLARED!!! This doesn't mean I am not interested in talking to people, because that is far from the truth, but I am tired of bad pick up lines or demands for obedience. Thankies, have a great day and enjoy the rest of the profile!
Update
What I need to be happy:
*Chore list with daily tasks
*Punishment for not following through on assigned task(s)
*Nightly bedtime with tuck-in :-D
*BDSM... top favorites include spanking, other impact play, bondage and sometimes mental bondage
About me:
I hate talking about myself...mostly because I never know what to say.
I am 27 and have 5 tattoos and 19 piercings to date. I am a fairly active person and enjoy socializing and also am friendly and caring by nature. I love hiking and being outdoors as well as sitting on my butt watching t.v. (I have been known to be a couch potato at times). I like going to the movies or going out for a drink with friends. I am pretty bad at talking about myself (if you couldn't tell from the opening line :-P), so if you have any questions feel free to ask, and I will answer within reason...
What I am looking for:
Well I guess I will start with what I am not looking for, since it is easier.
*I am not looking for someone (and will probably not respond to) who only has pictures of their penis, I have seen plenty, I would much rather see your face.
*Along the lines of the former bullet, don't ask to see certain piercings right off the bat, it is the same thing as asking to see me naked, which I would also say no to. (I don't want to see you naked right away, and I don't want you to see me naked right away). I prefer certain things left to the imagination; call me old fashioned.
*I am looking for someone around 3-5 years older, and no more than 10 years older or anyone under 21. I am sure you are a wonderful person and would be more than happy to talk to you if you aren't with in those lines, I just most likely won't want to date you. I love daddy types, but that doesn't mean I want to date someone who could BE my father. As for dommes, I am really not concerned with someone being more than 10 years older than myself... call me sexist; I don't care lol.
*I will not respond to slut, so don't send an email calling me one. A slut is some one who sleeps with multiple people consistently and possibly concurrently; I prefer monogamous relationships and therefore am not a slut. You will never be able to convince me that slut is a term of endearment so please don't waste you breath trying to do so. If you continue to call me slut after I have explained all this it shows you don't respect me and I don't want to be in the company of people who want respect but don't reciprocate.
*Submissiveness does not equate with being a door mat. I would like to think I am an intelligent, funny and worthwhile person and would really like to be treated as such. I am not interested in humiliation; if I was I would simply start talking to my mother again on a regular basis. I like to feel valued and cared for, not like I am a burden or a broken toy.
*Finally, I will not respond to emails that sound like they belong in a BDSM erotica book; at least not in a positive manner. Some women may like it, but I think it's trashy.
That being said...
I am not looking for a random fling or to be part of a threesome, a poly-whatever or the like; I prefer relationships and can always use new friends. I like ambitious people who know what they want in life and who are college educated. I am more than willing to try new things, but I do have my limits, and would like them respected. The ability to hold an intelligent conversation is a definite plus, if not necessary. I am looking for someone who thinks of women as more than just a seen but not heard indentured servant. I have goals and dreams and I am not willing to give them up to become what someone thinks I should be and ignore who I am. I aim to please but not to the point of sacrificing myself. Along those lines I am not the type of overbearing girl who feels the need to change everything about who I am dating; that's not a relationship, it's a project. I just like mutually respectful relationships where it is a win win for both persons..... I think I am done babbling for the moment.
Time for an actual update to the already long profile!! lol
What am I looking for?
That is a really hard question to me. Maybe that is because I am still figuring out who exactly I am and maybe a small part of it is that I think life is a learning process, and that wants and needs change over time. I do know that I have never quite found what I am looking for and have always ended up feeling somewhat trapped in the relationships I have found myself in... at least in the heterosexual ones. This could be because I have never really been in a long term same sex relationship; I really don't know. For a long time I have wondered if maybe I will never be happy in a long term relationship, that maybe it was ME and not the relationship. My eyes have been opened enough to realize that it is most likely not me, (thank the gods right? lol) or so I hope.
I guess I have digressed from the question I have set out to answer... for myself if no one else. So... what am I looking for?
I am looking for a kink friendly relationship- hopefully one that has the possibility of becoming long term. I love, love love (did I mention love? lol) being bitten, having my hair pulled and being spanked. I think collars are the ultimate fashion accessory- although with my chosen field of occupation I could not wear an obvious one outside of the private environment.
I have recently discovered a strong affinity towards Daddy doms. I am still coming to terms with this last one, but you are who you are, right?
I enjoy boundaries, but would loathe not having at least some say in a relationship. I am NOT a slave. Along this line, I don't have it in me to be a totally subservient, mindless drone. I want to be valued for my mind and my opinions as well as what ever else I have to offer.
I love bondage. I enjoy being able to give up some control in my life. It is really liberating in my opinion... as well as the fact that I just happen to like being restrained during intimacy. :-)
I am not sure what else to say at the moment so I guess I will just stop here for now!
-j
~*~ In a relationship with TapouTKid ~*~
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If Da tells you (as in anyone) that I know something, please for the love of god take his word for it. He doesn't lie to me, never has, don't treat him like a liar, please. |
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In the E R... more fun than a barrel of rabid drug-addicted monkeys. |
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Stop asking to own me. I am taken and happy.
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Daddy and I are moving into our very own house 6/1 :-D !!!
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Having computer issues so I haven't been on much lately. Just wanted to let people know why I haven't been in chat recently. Laterz :-P
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is having a really neat Santa give away that people should check out...
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Since people aren't seeing this in my profile I will put it here:
~*~ In a relationship with TapouTKid ~*~
This is old news by now :)
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Hi all,
I am back online now finally. I moved recently and between moving unpacking and getting the net back online I haven't had time to check on things.
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I'm under a lot of stress right now so I apologize if I haven't gotten back to people, you can always feel free to send me another. Within the next week I will be doing my best to get back to people, but again if I miss you you are more than welcome to send another one.
-j
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OK... from here on out men ( I say men because women seem to actually listen to my simple request) who have no picture and who do not add a picture to their email will have said email DELETED most likely without it being read unless it is either AMAZING (which I doubt... guess I am jaded) or if it is so ridiculous that my snarky side takes over and I have to comment on the absurdity of the email. K??? K. :-)
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Gauging ears HURTS!!! (But the end results aren't bad lol)
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Tuna bagel melts are yummy :)
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Decided to make a live journal account for the bulk of my journaling at this point... everyone and their brother can comment on this and half the time it seems it is just some self-obsessed loner who feels the need to lash out at complete strangers because his life is a wreck that he himself created. (I only use "he" because all worthless, hate-fueled comments come from men... over the age of 40. This is not to say that I won't continue to write here from time to time, just that for every few persons that give positive feedback/analysis there is at least one rotten apple.
Anyways... the new page is:
sub-missions.livejournal.com
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Do I seriously have to say this again? I am sorry to anyone who keeps up with my journal, but....
NO PICTURE, NO ANSWER!!!!
Unless for some unknown reason your email is so out of this world that I can't help but to answer. That doesn't happen very often FYI.
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I would to say thank you for the support I have gotten recently.
However, to the petty individuals who have expressed that I deserve to be treated in such a manner or who call me inappropriate colloquialisms... grow up; no on asked you. I simply vented my frustration, some were kind enough to give encouragement and positive feed back and that is welcome. You using it as an opportunity to lash out because no sub in their right mind would want to date you is no excuse for you to attempt to debase a complete stranger. And it seems funny to me that all of you seem to be over the age of 40. I have to ask... are you serious? Did your mother teach you no manners? And why in hell are you so bitter when you should be a fully matured adult?
Again, I would like to thank those that have been kind enough to offer useful feed back; it is much appreciated. Hope everyone's week is treating them well :-)
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Just realized I wasn't done ranting.
How can he justify asking me to shower with him KNOWING he was going to break up with me the next day. How can he justify continuing to sleep with me knowing that when he was moving into his new jobs basement that he was going to dump me because he didn't NEED me anymore. Why did he ever have to get that f*cking job that turned him into a... a... a total freaking heartless, uncaring jerk? Will he ever realize that the job changed him and try and rectify it by finding a job that values him for his hard work and where he doesn't have to comprimise his morals on a daily basis? If he finds another job and what not will he realize that I was worth being cared for by him and want me back?
And knowing how I got used why the f*ck do I still want him to take me back?! Why do I want another chance with a person like that? Why do I have to blame myself knowing that it's him and not me? I would kill for a second chance even when itellectually I know that it is all him. He changed. He used me. He is the problem. Yet like I said I would kill for another chance... go f*cking figure. |
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I do my best not to whine on here but maybe venting will help... doubt it.
It's been at least five days and I am still hurting incredibly badly. I do everything I can for someone, bend over backwards to make them happy and my answer I get for that is "it's not what you do, it's who you are." Well who am I then? And why am I not good enough? Why was a girl who hit him everytime she was drunk good enough for six years and me... who did her best to treat him like a king get's three measly months???
Why did he have to get the job he has now? Why does he have to work with a scum bag who changed my ex... even if he cant's see it. Will he ever realize what a mistake he made?? Will he realize that I have more to give then the idiot bar flys that have no motivation or calling in life? Will he realize he changed... not even close to the better.
Why is it that no matter how many people tell me that it is him and not me can I not believe it? Why do I keep blaming myself for not being good enough for him to want to keep me or for not being enough to hold his affection? Why can't I stop fucking crying and move on when intellectually I know that what I have been told is acurate? Why can't my heart feel what my brain does?
I just want him to realize he made a mistake and want me back. I want to show him that I can make him more happy than what ever bar slut he has taken an interest in now that he is single again. I want him to want me back in his life and to value me for who I am. I want to stop hurting. I want to stop blaming myself for everything that has happened. But I can't... no matter how hard I try I can't get this out of my head or stop dreaming about it every night. What the f*ck do I have to do to either fix the relationship or move the f*uck on...
I was right I don't feel any better. |
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I am just going to say this. If I haven't gotten back to you and you still wish to talk to me please send me another email. A lot has been going on and I just don't have the energy to answer the tons of emails that I haven't gotten to. I feel bad but I just don't have the energy at the moment. |
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you know... one would think if I am added to someone's favorites they would at least say hi.... no? |
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Single. Guess the relationship was simply convenient for it's perks. Woo. |
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I am not on much lately so if I don't get back to you for quite a while don't take it personally.
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If I take a while to respond it's because I am having some medical issues and haven't felt up to hanging around on line. Sorry all, hope everyone's weekend went well.
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I really don't like having to do this... if my profile says I will not reply to someone without a picture.... I WILL NOT RESPOND TO SOMEONE WITHOUT A PICTURE. It is that simple. That is not to say you aren't possibly a totally awesome person... just that I need to be able to put a face to a name before I start talking to someone. This doesn't mean messaging me saying you have a pic if I want to see it or asking to talk on cam. It simply means I want a picture... I am really not demanding and I hate to put up a fuss, but I just don't think this is too much to ask. If it is... I apologize but it's just the way I am and what I need to feel comfortable talking to someone.
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OK... I just have to say this.... I am a sub, I am not CAPABLE of topping anyone, nor do I even want to TRY.Got it??? Good!
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Been bored in my one class the past two weeks so I kind of created a self-sanctioned assignment lol. I'm odd I know :-P
What do collars symbolize to me?
This question and its answer are fairly complex to me. It is interesting that such a simple item can have such importance and such a deep meaning. It is almost too difficult to express... but I will do my best. I think it comes down to feeling safe and cared for.
I was attracted to collars before I even knew what they meant. I have always been attracted to chokers/collars since I was a preteen. Looking back I guess it was one sign of many that I wasn't "vanilla" (I really, really hate that term!!!). I feel kind of silly writing this but I have been thinking about this question for quite a while now.
Collars are a tactile/visual sign that a person cares deeply for another person. That they care strongly enough to want to show others and to remind their partner of their feelings and their relationship. I think this also works both ways... in that the sub is proud of the relationship and wants to show this by donning the collar their Dom gave them. I guess to me it comes down to a sign of mutual love.
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Finally did a major update to my profile... woo! lol
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Lately I seem to be writing in this more that I am comfortable doing so... oh well. I feel like I am kinda of stuck at a crossroads with no idea where each particular road goes including the one I traveled down. The new and the old are equally intimidating. Standing there, looking around, I have to wonder... Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want? You would think after almost 26 years that I would know these things by now, but I don't. Some times I wonder if I ever will. Is that odd? I don't know. I don't feel like an almost professional, I feel like a scared little girl half the time, so afraid of making an irreversible mistake that I hesitate taking any action at all... which I suppose in itself is an action after all. Life seems to be more terrifying than anything lately and I can easily right that off as a side-effect of all the craziness going on in my life right now, but that explanation doesn't make me feel much better. As it's almost one in the morning I suppose I should simply go to bed and worry about it in the morning. Night all.
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I started to write this and now I don't know what to say....
I guess just that it hurts when people turn on you and blame you for things that are not your fault. It hurts to be made into a scapegoat to bolster the other person's sense of self-righteousness. It hurts to be called broken and damaged simply because you will not give them what they ask when what they ask is unreasonable. Maybe they are right that it is in keeping with the theme of my life... if the theme happens to be allowing myself to be trampled on again and again. But in a real relationship isn't it each person's responsibility to take care of the other? It can't be just one persons job to appease the other and then be subjected to the unraveling of the other person's psyche when the unraveling leads to malicious behavior. Right? I mean am I missing something? I do my best not to talk about overly private issues on here... but when someone stoops so low as to write a myspace blog about me for the whole world to see and then when confronted on it they lash out even further with things only said to wound me I guess I lose my resolve of respecting their privacy.
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Well, on a high note (and medium note lol) the classes are at the masters level... so I won't feel old... but there is going to be SO much work. I started the process of applying to Albany's MSW program, I hear it's a much better program... I just don't want to be any colder than I already am here. Lastly, I am way behind in answering mail again, I will try and get to that this weekend, sorries.
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Today is my first day back in school, woo! lol
Sadly I had to take some undergrad course to remain full time because though I won the appeal the SW dept. is still trying to d**k me over. So I get to feel old around a bunch of 20-year-olds... double woo!!! But in all seriousness I am glad to be back in school I didn't know what the heck to do with myself for the semester I had to non-voluntarily take off (see I can talk diplomatically when I so choose :-P). K, enough blabbing time to get my butt in gear. Later all!!!
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Some days you just want to back your bags, grab a teddy bear, and disappear for a while...
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Recovering from surgery.... so much pain.... and not good pain lol. Hopefully I will be feeling better soon.
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I guess I should clarify, the surgery is tomorrow, not last Friday, I didn't think about that when I griped about it in here. Wish me luck!
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Surgery on Friday... sooo excited :-(
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Well, not that anyone who didn't know my old name knows... or possibly cares... but I won my academic appeal... woo! lol |
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I can't seem to get the colors right on this... ugh.
Anyways, lol, I am looking into PA and NJ for a new gradschool around there. Basically just saying that I am not staying in NY so those who live in NY don't feel like I am not upfront with things or what not.
Happy early holidays everyone!
-j
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