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I'm here looking for friends. Mentors. Students. Supportive people with whom to discuss, share, become emotionally involved--or not--solve problems, have fun.
I'm not looking for play partners or sexual/romantic involvements with anyone, right now. I'm not averse to a friendship becoming more intimate, but an expectation of such will most likely end in disappointment on your part. My time, energy, and attention span are all somewhat limited, I'll give what I can when I can, and expect the same in return.
Age, gender, location, experience, physical form don't matter. Sincerity, self-awareness, intelligence, courtesy, compassion, humor--these things matter to me, a lot. I'm going to start with the assumption that they matter to you also, and we'll go from there.
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People are fascinating. I enjoy reading the things people have to say about their selves. Don't necessarily believe it all, think a lot of it is "If you enjoy pina coladas la la la" but it's still interesting.
I met a personat a party this weekend, who has more self-possession than just about any one else I've ever known, except possibly my mother. I think I hero-worship her a little, and I don't do that very often.
We didn't talk much. I would have liked to, but had no clue what to say. She'll be presenting at Winter Wickedness, perhaps by then I won't be quite so tongue tied. I can always hope.
In the meantime. The journey continues. Things are learned, and some other things are unlearned. I like to think the light is worth the price of the candle. Sometimes I get beset by doubt.
Shhh.
Don't tell.
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Oh for fuck's sake. I'm not retyping the stoopid thang because Collarme and Firefox STILL haven't learned to play nice together.
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To answer my own question, since no one else ever has; yes, it is possible to bottom from the top.
With varying degrees of success.
My submissive tells me that for years, she had The Worst Mistress EVar (tm). I think that this person tried to bottom from the top, and--not having an actual dominant to direct--made them both very unhappy.
I have--for the first time in my life--found someone to whom I wish to surrender. I do bottom from the top, but I like to think I do it well. I certainly haven't had any complaints. Yet.
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<P>"I am not a grammar nazi. I am a grammar Rommel. I didn't start this war, but I will fight on the side of grammar. If grammar becomes too tyrannical however, I may switch sides."</p>
<p>I don't yet know to whom to attribute this quote, I read it on a message board I frequent. It suits.</p>
<p>Perhaps it's petty, but a grammatical error that just grates my nerves like fingernails on a blackboard is the use of the word "can" instead of "may."</p>
<p>If you're asking me for permission to do a thing, you MAY or may not receive it. If you ask me if you CAN do a thing, I'll want to know why you're asking ME? Don't you know what you are capable of doing, and not doing? If you don't, you may not particularly enjoy finding out at my hands and direction. *grin* (I do honor safe words, though. always.) </p> |
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If Collarme.com played nicely with Firefox, I'd write more. Perhaps that it doesn't is for the best.
I hear the phrase “top from the bottom” once in a while. I haven’t heard the converse: “bottom from the top.” I think it’s just as—if not more—common, though. I’m curious. Show of hands, all you dominants; do you think you bottom from the top? Be honest. [grin].
I’m still in the process of defining the terms to my own satisfaction. I’ve come a long way in the past year, just in general terms—and I’m not talking about the 1000 mile trip from the Midwest to he southeast, either. I’ve developed a lot more tolerance; but I’ve also developed some discernment.
All relationships can be said to be “about” the balance of power. One of the things I like about BDSM is that tends to encourage awareness of that balance, actively seeking to influence it in very specific and conscious ways. BDSM is about many other things as well. But—well, it’s not called “power exchange” for nothing. |
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Well. THAT was interesting. I just spent several hours in Collarme's Chatroom "The Lobby." Fun place. Nice people for the most part, much like people (and chatrooms) everywhere.
Ran into an old 3D friend I haven't seen in many years--that was an amazing thing. Neither of us were in the lifestyle when we last were in touch, funny how lifes takes us places we'd never expect. Phil, we have a LOT of catching up to do, I can't wait!
In other news; I originally listed my orientation here as "switch," because that most accurately describes me. Keysmith--who is my submissive--did the same.
In chat, his nickname was presented with an upper case first letter, mine with a lower case. Where did that come from? Rhetorical question; I'm refusing to speculate for now, as my initial thesis reflects badly on the site designer's prejudices, and I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt as long as possible.
I see this upper/lower case letter convention as kind of like a uniform, useful for a spot identification of what postion on the team a person likes to play. It's not particularly important to me, so I didn't really pay any attention to it, until today. However, to be "identified" as a submissive when I'm...well, NOT, isn't good for anybody.
Several very nice dominants initiated conversations with me this evening, clearly believing me to be submissive. Another time, perhaps. For now I'm exploring the dominant side of my nature. When I want to to submit and if it's to you, I'll let you know.
Until then, I've changed my designation here to dominant, because--even though it's not as accurate as I'd like, I expect it will be less disappointing to people looking for submissives and less annoying to me in general.
Getting to know new people in the lifestyle is hard enough as it is without adding such a fundamental misapprehnsion into the mix. And I'm all about whatever works, baby. |
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I've been researching, discussing, reading about, and studying this thing we do (or fantasize about doing) for a while now. If I've learned anything, it's that the variety of human need and desire is an infinitely variable and wondrous thing.
I'm fascinated by the exclusionary language so many people use. Various people state that one isn't "really" a top, a bottom, a master, a slave, a submissive, a dominant, a unless one is (whatever), unless one is/does/thinks (whatever.) I hear a lot of talk about lifestyle, and 24/7, whether a submissive should be allowed to define his or her own limits, that submission is--or isn't--a "gift."
To many, a switch is just a submissive who hasn't yet met his or her dominant.
Yeah. WhatEVer. Fie on all of that.
I'm comfortable with whatever words you choose to identify your particular place on the BDSM continuum; I may ask you to define your terms to minimize disconnects in communication.
Label me as you choose. I bind no one to my personal standards unless requested to do so; and another's opinion of me is just that: an opinion, containing as much worth as I choose to assign to it.
Whatever else I may or may not be, I am always a student, always a teacher. Today is a good day to learn something new.
And I like the word "whatever" a lot.
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| Age: 47 |
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Texas |
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