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MaxxNy
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| Hello,
I'm a very honest, straight forward and respectful woman. I give respect as i see it is deserved. I never want to outright offend anyone, but that does imply weakness. Figuring out that i truly am a submissive has taught me a great deal of things, how strong i can be, how resilient i am, and how much i deserve to find a Man, that will love me as much as i want, to love to be of service to Him in any way He see's fit. There is no laundry list of hard limits for me, with very little to no real life experience, i have no idea what i would say. Safe and Sane always. Kids, drugs, scat, blood, and liberals i have to admit are a deal breaker. Mental Sadists need not reply. I'm not into playing games or hurting people for the fuck of it. I am genuinely a very nice person with morals, intelligence, a sense of right and wrong, and a bit of a stubborn streak. However, i now know i feel my best and do my best when i am fulfilling a purpose, and being taught. I wish nothing more than to find a place in this life where i will be encouraged to strive to grow and take my rightful place. That place would be kneeling at the feet of a Man whom i respect and admire.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
teach
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Moving forward through time, hanging on to memories of laughter, pleasure and pain. It's no way to live. It's somewhat simple to say, "move on", "get over it", "get over one guy by getting under another"....that's all great advice for someone that never truly had their soulmate and bestfriend within One entity. I came into this world of BDSM, M/s, Ownership, taken in hand philosophies, with an open mind and a willingness and eagerness to believe that there was in fact a greater purpose in my life waiting. Such an elaborate hoax it was. Wasted time, as it turns, because i fell for it so completely, my life has been changed forever. However i regret nothing, it was very real to me, it was my One chance to find Him. And, i fucked it up. Relationships with anyone else, lack luster, they appeal to my base submissive instincts and diminish quickly. Praise, "love", respect is given so freely by vanilla's, it means little to nothing from a non-Dominant, but it does temporarily feed my starving soul. It's really just surviving on crumbs..For a Dominant to awaken and feed a true submissive, to have that strength, wielding power as a God, without the capacity to behave as a God is the cruelest act of all.
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I have to laugh...to find out all along, it was never a "friend", someone to be considered "just like porn" but someone that actually got in His heart, in His life, earned His respect and was worthy of His time. I truly never was the One, i was one of them. I was not special, i filled time. How could such an elaborate mind-fuck take over my life and shape my very sense of being and purpose? It has made me realize that i was never nearly as strong as i thought. That alone, is heartbreaking. Sad and pathetic, but heartbreaking. I was such a willing victim, i wanted nothing more than Him. 11 months later i still compare every Man to Him with no chance of them ever measuring up. And, i still find out things that devastate and crush me. Why would someone seek to do this to another human being. Just for the satisfaction of tearing someone's soul apart? I will never understand the "pleasure" in doing that to someone. And, for that i guess i need to be thankful. |
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" My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it's a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction, super-hero detective novel. You know with a bit of exceptional pornography if You're lucky".
- Alan Moore |
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Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
~ Dr. Seuss |
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| Age: 27 |
| Tulsa,
Oklahoma |
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