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avatar307
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I am on this site very rarely, so if you get no response, thats probably why. *shrug* I check it every couple months and usually respond to maybe 3 out of the million messages sitting in my inbox.
I am changing my profile once again. Because, as a person I am ever changing, the person I am looking for is changing too, evolving, growing. I can be cynical, rude, bitchy, and mean, as my past profiles have indicated, but more often I am the awkwardly realistic girl who still believes in fairy tales, and instead of staring out her window, awaiting nothing, but lusting after her prince charming, her soldier.
I crave adventure, and am stricken with wanderlust, as a student, I have been stuck in one place longer than I have ever stayed anywhere my entire life (almost-its a tie) and it kills me. But I will never sacrifice my education or career goals for someone else. It isn't selfish, its smart.
I major in International Studies, focusing on Peace Studies, and have often gotten messages saying "what are you going to do with that" as if i don't already know I am going to be professionally poor. I love my degree and I love helping people, and intend to go into foreign aid with it.
I also dance, bellydance and aerial dance, most currently, and I find it an empowering, often sensual, but not blatantly erotic, form of dance. In the past I have done ballet, jazz, lyrical, modern, salsa, some swing, a little tap.... You get the picture. I love to dance, if its music I can dance to, I'm down.
About what I want: I could write a novel right here, but then I would never find anyone. I can be picky, and maybe thats good. I dont want anyone too old for me, so under 35 please? Height/Weight proportionate, you don't have to be a supermodel, but keep yourself in check. If you message me with a one liner or a form message, expect to be thrown into the trash box. Also, erotica get immediately thrown into the trash. I like someone with sex not always at the forefront of their brains. I love sex, probably more than the next person, but you mention it to me too fast and you get nada. I also never divulge my fantasies to total strangers so as not to give out wank material.
I am already in a committed relationship, and am owned and love my Daddy, however, we are poly, and I am open to new relationships of all sorts, from the casual to not-so.
ps. the vanilla side of things is just as important to me as the BDSM. Oh, and a guy who will do dinner dishes, and will learn to not care, because ill cook him dinner every night :) And im a damn good cook ;).
pps. And is open minded, not just to sexual things, but also politically, spiritually, everything. Nothings closed. Thats important.
ppps. the password to put on your messages to prove you read this far is cowrie
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22 for me! Happy bday to me! (on the 10th)
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I just changed my profile, the old one is going below so people dont forget.
I am tired. Tired of dealing with all the jerks, idiots, and bastards on here. On one hand I find it amusing to respond to all of your messages, but on the other, it just gives me cause to lose faith in the human race.
I am not a huge conversationalist by type, I am very kinky, and at times very submissive, if you have gotten this far, and I don't know how you have because I am putting my best bitchface on, then you have balls of steel, and you need them. This website puts me in a bad mood. I go through about a million and a half messages from losers who cant spell, obviously didnt graduate the third grade, and think because they are old enough to be my grandpa that that means I want to suck their dicks...
Sorry grandpa, No over Thirty-fives, please- rare exceptions made for people who look like movie stars.
Really, im not a mean person- i just have to put on a hard face when dealing with this website. A little about me so you know im not lying:
I am a student at University, I major in International Studies, My main focus is Peace Studies. Secondary focuses include International Diplomacy and Regional Studies. My minor is Spanish. I have high expectations set for myself. I dance, and have previously done almost every style imaginable. I currently do bellydance. The first quip you make about bellydance being "erotic" dance is the last thing you will ever say to me. I fence foil, am a capoierista, and model occasionally but not as any sort of profession.
The person I desire is prince charming, I am his princess. I can be spoiled at times, admittedly. Curious, often hedonistic. But the person I desire doesnt mind, finds it endearing, and wants to explore the world with me. I dont want a strict master, barking orders telling me to bow at his feet. Nor do i want a gentle puppydog of a thing. It is possible I have the craving for the best of both worlds. The terrifying King to cower before and the loving boyfriend. I do not bend easily to anyones will, so i do not honestly think I will find someone for me here. But I put out here what hope to find... Just in case. |
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Single again, and such a waste. Such a jerk. Are all men jerks? You are, arent you, and if i get a single message saying "im not a jerk" or "im your exception to the rule" or "im a jerk and youll like it" I'll probably block you.
You want to know what mood im in? Superficial rebound mood. Dont judge me.
Johnny Depps, Jensen Acklemens, Straight NPH's, Orlando Blooms and David Boreanaz' need only apply.
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My new profile has gotten some looks, criticisms, and laughs, from the people on here. My favorite is "you sound more dominant than submissive" or "you top from the bottom".
Let me clear this up. I AM submissive. VERY submissive. But not to everyone, not to most people. I am selective, but when I choose to submit, I am the pinnacle of submissive. I serve well, and I know it, both in and out of the bedroom, I can be both demure and opinionated. I love to serve when it is the right person I am serving, it fills my heart to do so. But just because I think of most people as equals, or have incredibly high standards for who I will sub to, does not mean I am not submissive.
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I have an attraction. Im writing about it here because he wont/doesnt read this. He isnt a member of this site, and probably will never be.
I say I have an attraction, and somehow feel as though I should place the word "fatal" before that word. I say this because on some level, we are cut from the same cloth, to play and not be played. Because of this we always search for the trap the other has laid. I am not sure about him, but I quit laying my traps for him, I simply desire him for him, I want him.
We say to eachother "Someday we will learn to trust eachother". It has become our mantra, but I almost worry, what if we don't learn? We are both jaded from our pasts, both used to playing and driving, not used to the other knowing the game.
I wonder.
The difference between us is his innocence, and my intuition. He plays it so proper in sexual situations, in some ways I find it comforting. Someone not in it for the sex, he is in no way vanilla, just newer to this part of the game. I enjoy it in some ways. I enjoy him in alot of ways. He has a certain quality no other man I have ever liked has ever posessed, that, and somehow, I find him to be a true gentleman, and not chivalrous for chivalrys sake. Though at this, I wonder if I am just falling into his traps, and his ways. I have known him for years, and I know his ways well enough, and have seen him work them on enough females to know, that our mantra, "someday we will trust eachother", is true enough.
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This note is really addressed to anyone who knows me and keeps tabs on my journal, seeing as how I don't really care to inform people one by one.
I have withdrawn from my local scene (Dallas) until further notice. The fact of the matter is, I don't feel safe there. In Austin, I felt safe playing amongst my friends in the community there. It was more familial than clique, less drama-formal and more tribal-protective. I am tired of going to functions with people I thought were my friends and being viewed as nothing more than a piece of meat. I prefer enduring friendship to a quick sexual pass. But, alas, that's not what I'm finding in the scene here, and that's what I get for being a petite female submissive with a mind of her own-out on her own.
Maybe if these animals could figure out what girls like us wanted, we wouldn't keep running away.
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I had to delete a couple entries. They were giving me issues *still* with idiots.
If you remember what these journal entries are, well, good for you. If you tried to use my momentary hardship to your advantage, well, then I should pop your balls.
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I just got a really funny message. Someone (they know who they are) said my journal was actually scary. How cute. If they met me they would laugh. I'm not scary at all, i mean...I guess I have sharp teeth...but thats what the bit gag is for, right?
5 feet, 105lb, and goodness knows I don't look nor act my age. I happen to know I am the perfect size to pick up and throw about, seeing as how it happens to me all the time ;).
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I really do enjoy meeting new people on here, and it seems that since my mail here has dwindled. So...well..message me, because meeting new friends is fun ^_^.
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I am excited, me and S are going to the faire this weekend. He gets to meet some of the people I consider my best friends. It excites me. Since my last posting I have learned alot about myself, and it is all fantastic things. I have found myself even more in my submissiveness, and seen myself even more what i desire to become. If that makes any sense.
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I finally met S the other week.
The experience was...amazing. It left me absolutely speechless in the best way possible. I have no idea what I am saying other than I am making a trip to ATL as soon as humanly possible. Either that or he is coming back here, we did not spend near enough time with eachother. We click on so many levels, I don't want to get my hopes up too much...but this one feels very right.
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I always think its strange how all these male doms on cm write what they want (DUH, like we dont know) on their profiles, but then not a word about themselves. Silly boys, they'll never get laid that way...
lol.
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I would like to pay penance to Kushiel.
To bad we don't have temples to false Gods around here.
I feel as though I need a whipping. Just for my own mental release. Catharsis.
I would sleep much better then.
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I have gotten some messages saying that all considerations are scams and the like. I would like to put out there that, yes, I am a fairly intelligent human being who is aware of such scams, and yes, thank you for your kind concerns. It is nice to know that you all care for my well being. However, there is an actual real thing called consideration. (Try looking it up) After all, scammers had to get their facts somewhere. That being said, Everyone chooses to do things differently, W/we are choosing to do things in this way and I ask that you kindly respect that. Questions, concerns, and the like, may be directed towards Him, DomntWritr. Thank You.
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Sorry, there is not NO picture in my profile, there is a new one waiting to be approved...and it doesnt show my face either. I just figured that was the smartest way.
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I have been examining myself more lately...
<edited and removed to a personal blog>
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I apologize
I apologize in advance for not being your doormat. I dont like to get walked over. Especially by stupid random idiots on collarme. I am not perfectsub027...she must be behind door number three, really, check there. I will not bow to you if i do not respect you, I will not call you Sir without reason. Do not expect me to enjoy being called "pet" or "girl" if I do not have a modicom of respect for you. If I am not yours, do not treat me as if I am, you are not above me, you are equal until I decide to kneel at your feet.
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I dont know what to write. But i find myself typing away at this silly journal anyway. After some incredible exchanges...i dont want to get my hopes up...but I found someone I actually like. I dont want to say more than that. I really dont. I mean. Its more than i dont want to rip my ears off when talking on the phone to him, its that i actually want to listen and possibly even obey him. I have gained respect for him and what he says to me. Akward as that has not happened in a good long while. I guess we shall see if it holds in the coming nights.
I pity that there is such a distance between us.
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So, people talk to me for awhile, get my im name, and then go betray the trust then by googling it? When I would have given them all of that information in time anyway? Way to go, stalkers.
So I used to do alot of blogging, and people can still find some of it under one or two of my handles. But its trust, an integral part of this lifestyle, and to have it, you have to start at the beginning. Anyway, thats my rant for now...
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I am currently working on a sociology project for class (duh) that deals with relationships within the BDSM lifestyle. I am very interested in talking to those people who are involved in or who have previously been involved in full time BDSM relationship or who have had Doms or subs. Please Message me if you are interested in talking to me about this. !!!!!! (Seriously, my grade depends on you guys.)
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| Age: 19 |
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Virginia |
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