ravenwolf12

these are just some random lyrics i wanted to add into my journal. these lyrics are an excerpt from Epica's Cry for the Moon:               

"Follow your common sense You cannot hide yourself Behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the whole truth can we disclose The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever

Indoctrinated minds so very often
Contain sick thoughts
And commit most of the evil they preach against"

happy birthday to me ^..^

and so the cycle of sleeplessness begins again....in 2 days i have gotten 4 hours of sleep and its now 2:30 in the morning now here..wonder who else is up in insomnia land tonight

look past the smoke and mirrors...beyond the veil of every day monotony....under the masks of smiles and misconstrued emotions..do you really know the person standing in front of you? do you know what they are capable of? for the sake of human tears, attached to the simplicity of such a thing as a beating heart...ask yourself....is it always worth it?

read da damn profile people! not just one sentence, not just one paragraph, the whole frakkin thing, sheesh is it that hard or are people just that illiterate??

i am....a submissive....a slave....a mother...a friend...a lover...a babygirl...

i am....shy...funny...loyal...obedient...insane...honest...caring...loving

i am all these things and so much more...i am me

have you found a song that fits you almost perfectly...i have. though i dont often listen to rap, but eminems 25 to life, fits me perfect right now

Another late night. No matter how late i sit here and write my thoughts into my journals, there are no amount of words to express how i exactly feel. The night sky is bright tonight, i sit here looking at the stars, tracing outlines into the constellations, trying to focus everything into one simple thought: how small i seem compared to this universe. For the longest time i blamed myself with what happened with my previous Owners, but i realize now, it was not my fault. And in that i find small solace within my heart. As i watch the moon make its track across the night sky, weaving between the stars, i wish that i could float away with them..

Lately i have found it very hard to sleep with all the thoughts running around in my head. I am now on day 6 with maybe only 10 hours of sleep all together. It honestly feels like i am starting to go crazy with everything that is going on. Maybe one night ill be lucky enough to get some sleep.

For tonight's journal...i thought i fitting to put in some of my favorite song lyrics

Did you ever feel lost like you don't have a soul
Like there is nothing there just a big empty hole
Like your only purpose in life has been defeated

Im shaking like I haven't eaten for days
Im not on dope, and im not in a phaze
And im not gonna think about how wrong this seems
Could this only be a dream

Boy, I know that the more that I think
If I block it out, my mood will just sing
Why is it so bad, and what can I do
I feel so distrought, I don't have a clue

Even though it's still been awhile
I still wave and you still smile
But you know what i go through
Cause you always get to be with you

Did you ever feel lost like you don't have a soul
Like there is nothing there just a big empty hole
Like your only purpose in life has been defeated

Well doesn't it feel as if you've been cheated
Well i guess if you want you can hide in that dark
You can lie to yourself till you just fall apart
You can run from you feelings until you forget
Well that hasn't happend yet

Kristy Lee - Defeated

Starshine

I look upon the night sky and the stars held so high

Somehow wishing i could hold one close

A smile on my face, holding back the urge to cry

Haunted by the ever restless ghost 

I lay on my back staring up at the stars

Memories playing like movies in my head of all the lonely nights

Traveling by buses and cars

The moving scenery and city lights

One star always called out to me

And i followed it by heart

Through all the places and people i did see

Like a servant i played my part

The bright star shine of that one

Gave me hope when there was none left

It lead me on the right road home

When i realized that home was all along in myself.

February 3rd, 2013

 I am glad to have friends here on CM. Today was yet another blow as i lost my job and the only thing keeping me from having to move again so soon. So i guess this subbie will be packing up her bags and hitting the road again before long unless some kind of miracle happens. Though it feels like im starting to run out of those fairly quick..Where i will i go, right now, i have no idea...

February 2nd, 2013

     Its after 2 in the morning and i just can't sleep. I keep wondering where i am headed in this life. My mind just wont wind down enough and this is the third night in a row without any sleep at all. As i sit here looking out of my window up at the stars, it makes me wonder who else is out there wondering the same things too. For over a year now ive had to move around, going from place to place, but never long enough to really call anywhere home. The road has become my home, cars and buses my bed. But now i wonder, where will i lay my head down next..