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phedredelauney

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Friends:
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Some stuff about me, if youre interested.



When love cast me out, it was cruelty who took pity on me.Spoiled, tenacious, often ditzy. Fun loving dark and twisty princess who loves nothing more than to be used and humiliated, somewhat of a duality as she also loves being snuggled and cared for.



For those who havent worked it out, yes I am a complete nerdy girl. I love things like Lord of the Rings, comic book movies, anything by Joss Whedon and so on. I quote a lot, especially Firefly.



When I was new to the lifestyle, I found that there is a lot I had fantasized about for some time, I am slowly learning more by watching and experiencing, which has also removed a few hard limits! I have also reinforced a few hard limits and learned a hell of a lot. Thankfully I have had the best introduction to the life that any sub could wish for, and I will always be grateful for this.I live with a Dom who is not on collarmecollarspace, he and our puppy are my world. Im recently disabled, this doesnt mean that the ones I play with go easy on me, it means my body has limits that I am trying to push.



if you view my profile on youll see that Im a mummy, to a dog. I dont switch this is a purely nilla title.


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7/18/2017 7:20:44 AM
A whistle and I'm there, a click of the fingers and I melt, "good girl" brings me to the edge of insanity, my inner independence battling the will to be his good girl and yet my own being. Simple motions make me turn and spin, dance like I used to, all for him.
Close my eyes and I'm there, bound, smelling and tasting the myriad of things over the years.
A puppet with a sassy mouth and a want so ingrained it feels like a scar.

5/23/2016 9:30:52 AM
Sore and resting up, my heart begins to sink at this point, cheese and chocolate will sate the hole in my belly but my heart takes a little time and self love to realise that I'm not going to stay hurt forever.
I have my puppy to snuggle, painkillers and I'm not going to have to move for a while.

5/22/2016 3:33:56 AM
I'm heading home from a vicious beating from Masterdurnion and playing with the lovely lilsnowdrop. Brain is too fuzzy to write much more for now

2/2/2015 7:21:28 AM
Just been away for several days to have a beating from Master. My ass is purple, my head is quiet and my heart is sated. I'm home with my Grumpy and my baby pup. Life is good.

5/22/2013 7:53:15 AM

"why isn't that enough"

When I play with someone, I like to know that they are taken care of too, I like to check in when I can to ensure they get no "Dom drop" and that everything is peachy in the following days.
During the play, part of me feels that standing/sitting/lying there taking what I can for them, or being their bunny etc, doesn't quite seem "enough". I was wondering if anyone else ever gets a sense of guilt, like the sub aspect of the D/s divide puts in less than they should?
Part of me is convinced that while I'm always keen to be miss prepared subbie, that this is because I feel my contribution is less than that of the dominant. That I scrabble to seem like I'm doing a lot.
Maybe because it's sometimes "easy" for me to give them what they want. (could be overcompensating for past relationships I guess).

On the other side of the coin, I also tend to be overzealous when it comes to enforcing what they need, that if they haven't eaten instead of just asking them to eat because I don't wanna be playing with someone with low blood sugar, I'll go and buy them food and a drink. My subbie side gets suppressed when i see someone deny themselves a need, to the point of being a little overbearing and bossy.

What I'm really trying to say is, I'm learning, if I do come off as overzealous or bossy or in fact lazy, do tell me, it's how I change and grow.


12/17/2012 10:27:33 AM

Why I drop

With every scene my sub-drop kicks in the moment I say goodbye,the common theme running through each scenario is the leaving afterwards. When I had my longer scenes-spanning several days, I didn't drop until the very end of the meet, on the day I was due to go home.

Scenes give me a feeling of belonging, of being wanted or even needed, for it then to disappear again for the next X amount of months, triggers a less than fun few days. I do snap out of it eventually, but it is a pain in the arse when you have to go back to work and you would prefer to have not even gotten out of bed.


12/17/2012 10:26:59 AM

I miss her Sir

Fresh into the lifestyle, I made some mistakes, hell I don't think there is a sub out there that would say they didn't. There was one man who took the time to sit there and get to know me, discuss my wants and needs, to listen to my troubles and even divulge some of his own. We were both nerdy and would sit on skype for hours, talking about stupid shit, occasionally it would turn lascivious, but moreover, he wanted to know I was safe, practicing good kink and even took the time to vet a few retards out of my radar when all I could see was "ooh Dom...he could be nice".

I found my feet with his guidance, I now know how to vet someone, what to look for in the first 3 months of discussions, and how to keep myself safe and how to heal after a harsh beating. He stepped away. He was never mine. To say she is a very lucky girl, and someone I respect immensely, is not overselling it, she let me borrow his sadism, let me see the darker side of him, and let him guide me through the first year.

I doubted the strength of their relationship early on, but now when I see them together, I can't imagine them apart. I can't wait to see them married and meet the mini MD's they have together, (though I am not offering babysitting services to mini sadists).

I do miss the time we used to spend together, but I hope they will stick around to see me find my one, and eventually marry.

Chaosperfected and Durnion, I love you guys.


10/23/2011 11:14:22 PM

The little things

 

For me, submission and D/s is not just about what He tells me to do, it is the little surprises you can put into every day, if He has to work late or has a particularly hard workout session, it is the bath that you run 2 minutes before He gets home, or the massage you offer to revive His aching muscles, the text messages to let Him know how much you want Him essentially, the culmination into a feeling that when you look at one another, whether she is sore from His sadism or not, that there is no where in the world either of us would rather be, than right here.

A girl can be trained to keep the schedule He wants, to come when summoned and to cum on command, but if the little things are missing, I don't see the relationship as fulfilling to them both. I often call it Jin and Yang, both parties need to be putting in, and while I do not diminish the role of the sub (it is really not easy at times) I feel the sub should realize just how much thought and energy is expelled by her Sir, to keep her on track and her best interests at heart.

Repayment for this does not just come in submission, or to me it shouldn't. She should care as much for Him as He does for her, and show it at every opportunity, (yes even when she's sore or feeling like death) It is those moments that define the D/s and keep it strong.


10/23/2011 4:53:47 AM

The fairytale

 

It has been on my mind a lot that my particular kink probably stems from some of the fairytales I heard when I was a child, the evil nasty man comes and snatches up the princess and does away with her, until some brave and handsome knight rescues her for the happy ever after. What always intrigued me was, he had her for so long, what was she doing, thinking, feeling while all this was going on, did she just weep for 60 days straight until the knight got his act together?


As I veer away from the point for a moment, it leads me to wonder why the damsel in distress fetish is so prevalent, or even D/s for that matter, with all the feminist nazis running around trying to make the society a matriarchal hell for men, having them being the underdog. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy my equal pay, benefits and so on, but a huge part of me craves the fairytale. Maybe because we have had it stuffed in our faces for so long that we need to be strong, independant women who never need a man for anything, we find we want to rebel against this new stereotype and cuddle up with Him for a while, let Him protect us and keep us safe.


Hansome man rescues the girl?, well hopefully the evil villain is a handsome man and he can play both roles with ease. If at some point he rides up on a black Fresian steed and carries me off, that may well spell my happy ever after.


8/28/2011 4:54:49 AM

Not friendly, got chased while walking home. I don't know if it was an opportunist or planned but I had the police out. There is a huge difference between fantasy and reality.


8/12/2011 4:52:31 PM

It has been a long time since I heard an aussie goddess cum in my ear from just the sound of my voice.

I had almost forgotten just how wonderful it is.

 


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MasoLily1983
 
 Age: 19
 Omaha, Nebraska