Nyxana

You think it’s going to be the hands (or belt or rope or leather) wrapped around your throat that does the damage--but no.  Today I dropped two heavy serving platters and a large bowl on my throat.  Right on my windpipe.  Hurts like fuck.…  And it was hard to do, let me tell you.  I was reaching for the rarely-used platters on the top shelf, sure I had them, I was looking up at them, and they fell on my throat, bounced and fell on the stove.  One of those all one piece, glass-topped ones.  So after bouncing on me, both platters broke and broke the stove.  

It’s just an interesting reminder that life isn’t very safe.  Even reaching for a bowl can be as fraught as the play I love.  And get scared of.  A good reminder.  Life happens.  It’s life.  Live it.  With as much risk as you choose to accept.  Beautifully, joyfully, thankfully, if at all possible.  

I did save the bowl.  And the food *smiles*

And it was still a great dinner.

And I am still incredibly thankful for my incredibly wonderful life.

(Thanksgiving Day, 2014)

This was my profile for quite a while:

I have had kinky fantasies for years.

A little over a year ago, I began exploring kink a bit more seriously than in the past.  In the past, I would carefully, oh so carefully, ask my vanilla boyfriends if they might like to tie me up.  The reactions were interesting.  This method did not work for me at all.  The best I ever managed to find was a partner who was accepting of it, but not really into it.  

I am still learning about what I really want.  I like play.  Play dates can be fun.  But I find that I am looking to experience a much deeper level of submission than can be achieved in a play date.

One thing I should put out here right away:  I am married, and my husband and I have an open relationship.  My husband has no interest in BDSM, and he is allowing me the incredible opportunity to explore this side of myself.  And so, at this time, I would need a Dom who would make it a priority that I have a family that I can't destroy.  I have seen this work, even though it sounds impossible.   (I suppose the other option is for him to avoid this part of my life entirely.)

As for interests other than kink:  I’m a sci-fi and fantasy fan.  I used to be an avid gamer when I had time.  I love movies.  I love books.  Someday I’d like to write one.  I like hanging out in bookstores--I sincerely hope bookstores don’t disappear.   I love going out to eat.  I like long walks (as long as I have on the right shoes) in both cities and the hills around the bay.  I think the discovery of the Higgs boson is simultaneously wicked cool and totally anti-climactic.