MlilnikkiM

A Slave's Expectations

I expect a lot out of the man I call Master. I do not see this as something that makes me less of a slave, in fact I know if these things are provided it will enhance and deepen my submission to my Master. Luckily my Master also realizes this. I expect:

Shelter- it is Sir's choice what this means, but I do expect shelter from the elements.

Safety- I expect to be kept safe and out of harms way. I'm talking true harm not hitty thuddy o look a bruise harm.

Respect- It's a two way street people. I have very little respect for those that can not respect me back. If you can't respect the slave you own...why own them?

Trust- again its a two way street, I'm not going to live in a situation where I'm not trusted. I generally don't do things that would diminish trust in the first place so I do expect to be trusted.

Honesty- I don't take well to being lied to. I'm very honest with others and I expect the same, especially from the one that owns me.

To have my needs met-Yes I said it. I'm a slave and I have needs, and yes I expect that they be met. Otherwise its going to affect my service to my One. I go out of my way to meet His needs, so yes he should want to meet my needs to a degree as well. I do not have a long shelf life and begin shutting down if certain ones aren't met regularly. A good deal of what stops this from being an issue is my Sir and I are highly compatible when it comes to our needs.

Faithfulness- We are poly, so how do I expect faithfulness? Simple, he does not go behind my back with another, just as I do not go behind his back. If there is another being included we are both present and/or aware of what is going on. We are not an open couple, he does not keep partners on the outskirts of our relationship and neither do I.

Love- I gave my body, my heart and my mind when I became Sir's. I love him deeply and I expect to be loved back. I serve the way I do because we have love in our relationship.

Consistency in training- Much like in training an animal, slaves need consistency. Something can't be perfectly fine one day and a punishable offense the next day. I'm a creature of habit and routine, they help me a good deal in my day to day and help me make sure I do as I'm expected.

A side note. I believe for a slave to be in a place where they have low expectations of their Master denotes how they truly see their Master. I think it sometimes become the if I expect less I'll be pleased if anything happens at all. That breaks my heart.

These are not all of my expectations but a few of them. I do believe that my expectations are reasonable and a lot of them are more about the basic needs of humans. This has been on my mind lately and thought I'd share. :)

I can remember back when I was searching for a Master, getting messages from guys, and so often upon replying they would respond that I hadn't responded properly and should address them as Master. This struck me as odd from the beginning and it still does. Even when I started meeting with my Master it was a long while before I called him Master. I feel to use it for everyone that sees themselves as a Master sort of diminishes the meaning behind the title. I see it a lot like “I Love You”, you toss it around too much and it looses its meaning.

Master -Position in the lifestyle. It is a title that denotes the position best identified with for an individual. Does this mean that everyone that addresses this person should address them as Master? I do not think that it does. My Master has tons of friends that identify as Masters and I do not call them Master because they are not the One I serve. I think to require to be addressed as such from everyone almost cheapens the title.

Master- Position within a relationship. I think it is earned. Even when a slave courts a Master I do not think it should be required that she/he address him as such until such a time that the Master takes ownership of the slave. During the courtship I do think that both parties have to prove to one another that their coupling is beneficial to one another. Trust has to be earned as well as respect. At that point in my opinion is when one can truly be called a Master by a slave, not any slave, his slave.

I truly believe it should be a title that is earned not given (or tossed around) freely. I have honestly only called one man Master. This does not mean I disrespect those that see themselves as Masters, it just means I reserve that title for my Master and for him only. When I say it to him I want to him to know that he's the only one that gets to hear it, that way I hope he knows just how special he is to me.

My venture into the lifestyle started when I was 19. I had started acting at a local community theatre and was heavily involved in that scene for a while. Upon talking to several members of the various casts I was involved in I was warned to stay away from this one couple. People kept saying 'they are weird and they will try and corrupt you.' and 'you are too sweet to get involved in the things they are into.'. So of course this raised my curiosity and not being one to listen to people when they say such things, I decided to make their acquaintance and form my own opinions. I approached, I observed, and then I began asking questions. They talked to me at great lengths about their relationship, told me others that were involved in the lifestyle that I could talk with and things started making sense to me. What they were saying sounded an awful lot like the things that had been going on in my head for years. They encouraged me to place a profile on a lifestyle friendly site.

I logged in a morning or so later and had several messages. Being one for order I started with the very first one that I had received. Little did I know He'd be the one. :) We talked online via the website, yahoo messenger, and email for a couple months. In the mean time He made his interest clear but did not push me into meeting before I was ready. While waiting for me to get to that point I missed out on His Halloween Party, His Thanksgiving (and Birthday) as well as Christmas. Two days after Christmas I woke, and I knew the day had come.

Dec. 27 2003- I called and asked if the offer still stood that I could come down that day. He said yes and I began to prepare myself for meeting him. I arrived at our meeting place around 4pm. the minute I saw Him in person something awoken in me and I knew I was looking at my One. In a way this scared me, I'd never felt that before. I had never been one to believe in love at first site. This felt much more, the best I can think is my soul had found its mate, its home. Still I went through some initial fears and tried to run. I couldn't stay away though and eventually came to live with Him.

April 27, 2004 my current living arrangement ended and I needed a place of refuge so I turned to my Sir. He opened His arms, His home, and allowed me to move in with Him ahead of schedule. I quickly settled into my new life. I can't say it was all easy but I am a person that strives to be pleasing to my One and I am generally well behaved. I began meeting his friends and becoming involved in the scene. I should mention the first week I was here I completely rearranged the kitchen, He often jokes this was so He couldn't get rid of me since He wouldn't be able to find things again. I simply needed it set up to make my job more efficient. Around this time I had also received my first collar from him.

We've had our shares of 'battles' as it were. Life is not always whips and chains and mind blowing sex. He has taught me we are a unit, a team, and we can endure the hard parts and the good parts will be even better.

Christmas 2005- I took Sir home to meet my family for the first time. They fell in love with him. Due to previous happenings (back in April 2004) they were already aware of my involvement in the lifestyle and how our relationship was set up. It is something that over the year between me moving to be with him and that Christmas they had come to terms with, and had accepted. In their words they'd rather support me than loose me. Upon one of my aunts coming over my grandpa introduced Sir as my fiance. We hadn't discussed marriage more than a brief probably wouldn't happen at that point. To this day its still a family joke. I was betrothed! My family even makes lifestyle friendly jokes and just generally always show us that we are accepted and loved.

2008- I'm not sure at what point but we started discussing marriage. I was honored when Sir said he wanted to make me His wife. On Father's Day of 2008 we visited my family and told them we were going to get married. They were all estatic. My grandpa with teary eyes said 'I'd be more than honored to give you my granddaughter's hand.' Sometime around this time I received my eternity collar from him. It's beautiful and on the rare occasion it leaves my neck I feel utterly naked and exposed.

Valentine's Day 2009- Sir officially proposed with a ring. We had been engaged for months by this point, but He wanted to give me one more token of our love. Another way for me to show that I was his.

Aug. 9,2009- We married. It was a small ceremony with a few friends as witnesses.

Aug.9, 2010- Our first wedding anniversary Sir took me to a bed and breakfast to celebrate and we had a blast. After being married a full year I am able to say that marriage has deepened my bond with Sir, it has also deepened my submission to Him as well.

Dec. 27,2010- The Seven year mark! Hard to believe its been this long yet, seems like I've always been with Him.

***Note- I have left out the kink, play related, and otherwise sex related happenings for a reason. My intentions of this blog was to show the progression of our relationship.

A poem I wrote for Sir: 

Kneeling silently

Arms resting palms up on her knees.

Hair caressing her cheeks,

It is for Him she awaits.

Standing tall, walking proud,

His power surrounding Him

His eyes deep and captivating

It is for her He has come.

She reaches up and touches her neck,

Feeling His collar around it.

Knowing, feeling

She knows she is owned.

He enters the room,

Sees what is His

Moves toward her,

Places a hand on the back of her head

Breathless, heart racing

She leans against his leg

She is where she belongs

At His side.

He leans down and whispers,

?You are mine?

softly he kisses her lips,

before he takes her hair into his hand.

Gasping, trembling

Knowing what is to come,

She looks up at him

?I love you Sir?, she speaks softly

Intertwined, consumed

It all seems like a dream

Floating on the sensations of His pain

A sadistic smile upon His face.

Where He begins and ends,

Where she begins and ends

Unknown and unseen,

They are Master and slave.

by Mellow's nikki

September 25, 2006

Maybe I?m seriously taking this the wrong way but it seems to me that members of a community such as the BDSM community should want to make friends, to have those with common interests in their lives. Several occasions I have sent out a message inquiring about ones luck in their search, to wish them luck, and offer friendship. Too often the reply I receive back is, I?m not bi. This saddens me, because it makes me feel I can no longer just offer friendship, that people read way to much into simple comments.

So here, if I send a good luck in your search, or a are you having any luck in your search? More than likely it?s a face value statement and that?s truly my motive, If I offer friendship, that doesn?t mean I?m trying to persuade you into joining my Master and I, nor to sleep with me or any other girl, guy, human, etc.