- The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Dominant, 45,  TEMPE , Arizona
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A fascinating man is all I'm interested in at this moment in time... meaning you need to fascinate me regardless I can't tell you the last time a LTR minded man actually asked me on a date before he expected me to pop open Pandoras play box to engage in fetish play with him because isn't that how relationships with LTR minded people would normally go about handling sex related activities in the vanilla sense? ">Yup I'm seeking someone fascinating who brings his own mojo to the table... it's only fair. Be fucking single, and can be emotionally available. Have the time to go out and get to know me, face to face. Call me don't think it's cool to just text me juicy
Why do i need to get to know you? Whatever that is... is yet to be determined. ?Mistress Noir











Last Online:


 Dominant Female



 5' 5"

 1 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Transgender

Dominant Male

Submissive Female

Submissive Male

Switch Women

Switch Men

Sub/Sub Couples

Femdom Couples


A Poly Household

 Lives For:


 Foot Worship

 Housework Service


 Massage (Getting)

 Medical Play

 Mental Bondage




 Fine Dining

 Flea Markets

 Garage Sales


 Anal Play





 Genital Punishment

 Hair Pulling

 Orgasm Denial

 Pantyhose Fetish

 Role Playing

 Wax play



 Intellectual Discourse



 Female Supremacy

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Alternative Music

 Rock Music


 Antique Shows

 Art Galleries



 Renaissance Faires




 Body Worship



 Corner Time


 Electrical Play




 Masks (Wearing)

 Needle Play

 Plastic Wrap

 Public Play


 Theatrical Scenes

 Role Playing Games






 Eighties Music

 Heavy Metal Music

 New Age Music



 Canes and Crops

 Eye Contact Restrictions



 Card Games

 Web Surfing


 Classical Music


 Curious About:


 Obedience Training

 Goth Lifestyle



 Breast Play


 Coffee Shops


 Online Chatrooms

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Journal Entries:
2/14/2016 8:46:50 PM
Happy Valentine's Day.... hmmmm I suppose. She giggles.... I have made nice with this holiday for the most part. But I think I like my Birthday better. Love love kiss kiss ... xoxo blah blah blah

1/2/2016 11:08:48 AM
Another New Year... aren't they fun? Kinda like a do over. You get to start fresh with goals ... dreams ... desires! Or you can wake up and say hey I want more of the same and business as usual. Either way, the important thing here I suppose is we woke up to another new day. That in itself is gratitude worthy. Another day, what are you going to do with yours? We are never promised another so living each day with purpose and gratitude is important. It's also my only goal for 2016. I figure if that's my goal each and every day the rest of life will fall into place as it is to be. Happy New Year. Noir

12/15/2015 8:41:51 PM
Happiest of holidays... cheers, Noir

10/7/2015 11:53:41 AM
Is it possible to shove a square peg in a triangle hole? If you are part of this community, many think, yes it's a possibility. I bet you believe in fucking rainbow unicorns too. I think Im going to remove all but 2 pictures so the male brains have to either read my profile... or ? Ha... there is no choice. "Hi what's up" These emails are an epidemic here. Is there no cure other than just deleting yourself off because you can not stand logging on and getting an inbox of 30+ emails every single time that are Hi what's up? Im busy that's what's up.... I don't have time to chat endlessly with men I will never meet. Stop the stupidity. Read Fuckers read. If you don't fit what im looking for don't email me. INTELLIGENCE IS 99% of what makes a man someone of interest to me. So that leads me back to the original question...

6/12/2015 2:31:47 AM
I found an interesting man... Seeing where it could go so yeah I'm a status unknown. Noir.... Update! Interesting man not so interesting after meeting in person. So for all those who say distance doesn't matter. Shut up. Distance does matter. Never ever ever again I say never EVER again will I consider a man for a LTR, if he can't present himself within the first 30 days of showing interest. There is more to this than distance but the fact still remains, I refuse to consider or even get to know someone who can't be tangible in the flesh 30 days after interest is someone who is of no interest to me. It's the last time someone absorbs 6+ months of my life caring for someone I will never speak or see after the very first meet n greet.

6/12/2015 2:30:25 AM
I found an interesting man... Seeing where it could go so yeah I'm a status unknown. Noir

7/23/2014 2:05:40 AM

A man who is charming is a man who can flirt the witch from the bitch..."Mistress Noir"




Give me a gentleman, that makes me feel like a dumb blonde and the most important person he is with when in his company. Let this man be comfortable in his skin and appreciate me as is. Is it true, the 1% in the pond fascinating enough that I want to have a conversation with... and care about the words coming out of their mouth are few and far between?

I prefer your mouth connect with my brain before your mouth tries to win my pussy over. .

Make no mistake, u have to have mojo... you must be good in bed when that time comes, but prior to establishing a bond and a connection with a man any premature intimacy kinky or vanilla IS NOT GOING TO BE ALL THAT AWESOME?!! There is a point in ones life when a connection is required or the sex is empty and not worth engaging in - 

I’m more interested in those that have an idea, a plan, know where their interests fall in the kinks and fetishes they want to pursue. Do you want to dominate or submit?

Fools despise wisdom and discipline. -- Proverbs 1:7


If I told you, tomorrow you could serve either as a Dom or a Submissive for an hour only, without knowing anything else or having any more info other than I will not fuck you nor permit you release in the hour that you will be with me... paint me a picture of how you might spend this hour with me.

There is a difference in being my client and being a personal pet or plaything. So many cannot determine what makes one and not the other. OMG!! 


S/M is about emotion, the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it. Domination doesn't have to equal pain and ultimately submission is subjective to your kinks, the fetishes you entertain, and what you crave to explore with me.

You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked a clear question. -- Albert Camus

1/24/2014 4:12:18 PM
Beauty costs fucking money. If men had to spend the amount of money it costs to maintain our naturally pretty shells they would not be able to afford golf memberships, sports cars, women, and whatever else guys spend their play money on. Jeezus christ... highlights $200 ? There better be spun gold in my locks when I'm done. And now I'm stepping off my soap box !!!!

1/8/2014 12:06:46 AM
The hopes of something deeper with someone went for almost 17 days before falling 8n epic failure. But you can fail or succeed if one doesnt give it a chance.

If you could see me you would see a smile at the corner of my lips and a sparkle in my tired baby blue eyes...

Completely Premature... but so what !!!

I am not going to let jinx scare my butterflies from their fluttering...

You know when you meet someone that feels comfortable from the get go - even though everything about how you 2 connected wasnt made of fairytale moments and sweet nothings... Despite all that could be challenges you only find favor and excitement in the thought of the next time you get to spend quality time together... and most of all, ALL THOSE DAMN BRICK WALLS YOU HAVE BUILT TO PROTECT YOU FROM ALL THOSE YOU DONT WANT TO STEAL OR HURT OR STOMP ON YOUR JOY some how let this one person thru despite them and IT FEELS OK to let them in....

I want to play with you - enjoy you -and have some freaking amazing experiences with you...

I cant tell you how I know you and I are okay and could be amazing if its allowed to grow into something beyond this moment in time but it could!!! wow - chalk it up to a silly new years premonition but shhhh I dont want to scare something good away by being to mushy too soon -

ahhhh hell... there is no mushy between us... you pull my hair hard... ouch! and I know I bite your lip so hard - it could give you a bad reputation. giggle... Im having fun with you and I hope we continue -

Ok I will shhhhh now. Wait, I want to say I like you ♥

For those who read these journals... I dont read anyones but there are those who say they read mine, collarme has been a long list of fucking flakes and wrong connections game playing freaks, online geeks and never would work out people who have sent so many emails I have lost count that I just delete, roll my eyes and delete delete, vent reply and then block and ignore. But I have in the time on this crazy site met 4 super fabulous peeps who are important people in my life today. so I cant say this place hasnt been good to me as 4 special people came to be from a profile posted on of all places COLLARME!

Happy New Year perhaps you will find someone interesting worth adding to your life from a crazy resource if not here maybe a different one. because I do believe those who should be in our lives find us in the most usuaual and common of ways. yes it could be even thru collarme. Wow I just gave the site a positive review... iekkk I hope I dont stir up a pot of trouble by saying yay collarme!!!

Thanks !

Ms Noir aka ,missbdp


1/2/2014 11:05:43 AM

happy new year to everybody here on the collar me. With the new year comes new stuff things and new people to meet... do... and experiences~ make it a good one. 2014 feels full of potential promise of good things to come.

10/16/2013 7:03:57 PM

Humanity is running amuck acting afool on cyber playgrounds these days!!!

Technology is our downfall - and its our playing field. Its not going to go away but it does create a whole different socializing playground than we have traditionally never had the opportunity to play on before the internet and online social communities - dating sites and online worlds where we can as humans escape the reality of brick and mortar existences.  

Places like alt. collarme, pof, and the gazillion other websites and communities we join - become members of, spend time in, use as social escapes, and also the places we go too to find others  and make new friends have one thing in common ... YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE OR REVEAL YOUR TRUE REAL SELF IF U DONT WANT TOO. Everyone can be as anonymous or an open book, or deceitful as they choose. Living out social interaction thru a keyboard comes with its own set of challenges, but the big one is there isnt a way for us to verify the person behind the avitar, or profile online is really the person who is posted up and online.  I belonged to a yahoo group a few years back that was primarily a group for women. Men couldnt join - or so it was thought. After a confusing period of trying to learn the lay of the land in that group, I had an ah ha moment when someone made a comment that opened my eyes to how much what is - can be something completely not what it seems. I guess in this all female group many of the ladies were men posing as females - taking on female personalities creating female alter ego's to get into the group. WOW?! So if you think about it, all the discussions couldnt really be taken seriously, opinions and peoples views on topics of interest couldnt really be viewed as true representation of the ladies voices in this group. Most of the ladies would never have the chance to meet each other offline, and the chance to build authentic friendships OFFLINE were slim to none. 

The internet for all the good it is ~ has its ugly flaws when you step back and look at all the things and stuff humans do when they think they are anonymous and hard to be found outside the online universe they interact in. 

Guys can be girls and visa versa
Youth can be grownup and grown ups can be children 
Color race and creed are all subjective online
Words alone are powerful - but words will never give you enough to judge a persons true character strengths and faults nor measure ones authenticity at the end of the day

Bullies, hackers, cheaters, identity theirs, all prey victims with bold and relative ease online vs offline

Its easy to block someone, delete, hide or fall off the grid when you no longer wish to engage with someone anymore. Its easy to throw away an online friend vs a flesh and blood person you have tangible interaction with outside a online community. 
It seems like age and weight get misused - misrepresented and subjected to all sorts of embellishment when people are creating their online personas, and it would seem that many do not give much thought of what happens when they want to take a cool connection offline and they now have to figure out how to be the person they have created in cyber space in real time. Pictures dont tell the truth, more often than not. Photoshop has become accepted and common when pictures get posted anywhere in the cyber world, you cant ever be certain what you see is what you get. 

Some of the human behaviors and interactions and communication skills have become dated and replaced with text twitter facebook webcam..... technology is a good thing yes - the advancements made just in my lifetime alone have been hugely significant to where our world is today. Its suppose to make life easier better faster more effective in our lifes so why do I feel so stressed out in the carbon world?  

My needs are old fashioned. I need companionship that doesn't require a computer screen to communicate, I need friends who are willing to connect face to face, I require fun beyond a chat room or online community where I can go play. A cyber playground is not going to go away but I can will and should put down the keyboard, stop texting, invite some friends over and have a impromptu party. Are you free? 

2/11/2013 12:54:09 PM

Yes yes YES my profile is long here.... why ? Because even tho I have met some really cool people on here, its the one site that I get the most bullshit mail on and I have to weed the fuckers out somehow. I am not answering stupid emails anymore and if I open up a reply here based on what I have asked for in my profile and what is recv'd makes it pretty damn easy to DELETE or REPLY. DELETE DELETE DELETE.... makes more sense than taking the time to reply you are a moron, player... get a new game. If you dont wish to read all that I have provided then free will says DONT. But if you dont you may not get the fact I no longer engage in stupidity. Just have time for intelligent potential...  So be it... NOIr


and the long winded profile I will paste below... Im going to run an experiment and see how improved the quality of men become when I have a short n sweet text part of the prodile vs long winded as I normally like it, personally.


What if I asked you...

What do you want from and what do I need to bring to the opportunity between you and I?


Your honest answer to this 1st QUESTION  will help me understand whats our true potential. I actually may confuse those that view my post on here. It’s obvious I’m dominant. In the spirit of full disclosure I also professionally dominate... as well as identify as living in the LIFESTYLE. With that said, that's enough to confuse even the best of those who wish to know me on a deeper level.


What do you bring to the table with regard to what it is I desire?


It’s rare a man comes to me without demands, or a wish list. Why is this important? It’s a fair and telling question when answered honestly. 









For those that cannot come up with something more than "I want to serve a dominant female"... as good as it may be as an opening line, when there is nothing more to your introduction, and not even a name signed to the intro email sent to me... Guess what? I’m not interested in finding out anything more. Save your 27 keystrokes for the next profile you wish to hit up with a one liner. I do not  have the desire to entertain being served by idiots. I make no apology for the blunt and maybe harsh statement with respect to what I want in those that wish to make a personal connection with me. A "personal connection" begins with a regular session to determine our compatibility. Yes a session with me requires a tribute. Cash works, but so does bartering and services swapped of fair equitable value. (a tip: the privilege of shoving my fist up your asshole isn't a fair equitable trade of things or stuff for session tribute consideration in lieu of cash donation)


Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous. ~ Anais Nin


It’s rare to find one who can hand over his life 24/7 or even something in between. Men tend to talk in conflicting circles when they are searching for a companion and they can describe their physical desires but can't speak to their emotional needs, intellectual needs, recreational desires, and lifestyle requirements. So- let’s see if you are going to talk straight because I’m really tired of listening in circles.


What I say next is gonna be important !!! Whoa she said what? Perhaps you will pay attn to a clue about to been given to you...  granted if you have read this far it might serve you well to know a bit of privileged info about your Mistress of Interest before you answer the following what if... scenario I set up. This should be addressed or an answer given in your initial email reply to me. As dominant as I am, I fall under the category of a switch. A dominant switch that rarely submits but your answer can be from the perspective of submissive or dominant because in reality I would entertain both given the setting and person were right for my submissive cravings)


I’m more interested in those that have an idea, a plan, know where their interests fall in the kinks and fetishes they want to pursue. Do you want to dominate or submit?


If I told you, tomorrow you could serve either as a Dom or a Submissive for an hour only, without knowing anything else or having any more info other than I will not fuck you nor permit you release in the hour that you will be with me... paint me a picture of how you might spend this hour with me.


There is a difference in being my client and being a personal pet or plaything. So many cannot determine what makes one and not the other. OMG!!  <really? Picture me now rolling my YOU!!? 


It's important that those that serve me personally hold their value, and by that I mean you can bring to the table something other than selfish and self-serving wishes of me. Yes, ma'am - whatever the Mistress wants as an answer to a direct question giving you choices - always having to tell you what to do or how its going to be goes only so far. I want to see if you have the ability to suggest in the activities and games we play - if you have creativity in your nature - if you can communicate your own wants needs and desires in a pleasing manner that does not come across in a way that screams do me do me...Perhaps you have the ability to nurture as you serve and submit to me. A mans intelligence isn't overlooked by me. 


If you wish to play the mentality of a fool, try to gain access to my personal emotions in the same manner a client would request and engage me in a play session. Shame on you if you can’t show respect beyond the initial hello. If you can’t execute on the intro you send me, it’s pretty safe to assume you can’t provide evidence that requests are something you pay attn. too and when asked to do something most likely you don’t execute on the task you have been given.... Believe it or not it’s the simple stuff right outa the gate that is important to determining and knowing you can be more than a client who seeks an hour of escape. A power exchange...


No, really? 

lol....... if not to make this even harder to figure out??!! 


I am also craving the "other side" personally. I want to fall down the fetish rabbit hole into a world where I am not the person in charge and I am faced with situations many of those who see me find themselves in. 


ACTIVITIES all themed around role-play and scenarios that give me tangible experiences in domestic discipline, daddy/brat, principal/student, boss/assistant, DOCTOR/PATIENT, explore the masochistic well curious of a sadists mind, maybe restraint, maybe a whole lotta stuff if someone holds the key that unlocks the submissive pent up in the confines of my head.


If you want a scenario that suits you the submissive, it's your reality and your life...  you demand a setting that you can control... be it the when, how long, and what kinks will be explored... If the time I have with you is based on your availability and schedule, and requires me to allow primary relationships, with a no strings commitment, it is safe to assume you would be most compatible with a professional dominant female who accepts the limitations of your service and submission. I can help you if this is what you need on a professional basis. 


So that all being said ... I still search and I do NOT have what I guess I still haven't found so I continue to keep a warm pulse on who might be seeking the same as I!! 


S/M is about emotion, the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it. Domination doesn't have to equal pain and ultimately submission is subjective to your kinks, the fetishes you entertain, and what you crave to explore with me. I am a fetishist, a kinky playmate with a dominant nature, and a fantasy facilitator.


If you show up and tempt me with fairytales, I will hold you to delivering such a companionship! 



Fetish Muse & Dominatrix

1/2/2013 8:29:18 PM
2013 a year for watchful unfolding. The air is full of amuck. Mankind is not good to its own. Politics are nothing nice. The economic state of affairs is lurking on a meltdown, jobs r interesting to try and get if u don't have one and are not in a high growth market sector. Leadership is has not been flourishing. How can I sell a milliion 2.00 raffle tickets in 3 months? Happy new year!

11/23/2012 11:27:47 PM
The holidays are upon us... a time for traditions and merry making. As I find myself preparing for the festive month I admit I like trimming the tree, wrapping the presents, get to gethers, dressing up, friends, Christmas Eve.... doing the nutcracker with my daughter.... I'm thankful for houseboy/Butler who steps in whenever I need but I still seek my significant who wants to sleep over, likes me just the way i am, and doesnt care how naughty or nice i am because he can handle me either way. Wants , wishes, desires...its the best time of the year for a little magic to happen. Who knows maybe this year santa will find that I was nicer than naughty and i will get the present i really really want. :*)

10/12/2012 3:29:01 PM
Fall is a welcome time of year. It begins to cool and holidays are almost here. Would love to have a significant something to share the festive moments with this year. Santa have I been a good girl? I wink always good even when I'm naughty... Who wants a mistress for christmas? Who wants a fetish muse? I want a nutcracker or prince who isn't so sweet. How many shopping days til christmas is here? Well its a wishful desire or request at best. I absolutely DON'T want to be holiday online friends. Looking for festive, fun, available, dominant or submissive offline companionship for hands on fun.

5/30/2012 1:58:48 PM
What if a wish came true? What if you could have your cake and eat it too? What if love wasn't a myth and finding it with one wasn't impossible? What if a dominatrix looks just like the girl next door without makeup and stilettos and latex? What if you tried to get to know a dominatrix as a person first? What if you could have interesting conversations about nothing kinky and you got that desire feeling to call her after a normal date? What if you didn't try to make the first few conversations about buttfucking you, tying u down and kicking your nuts, or begging to wear your panties on the first few dates? Just cuz u wear them does it have to be revealed night one? Does your boss know u do to the office? What if the dominatrix was a really nice person with the ability to go mean in 3 seconds if the situation called for it? What if the dominatrix could compartmentalize and be open minded- could u do the same? What if a dominatrix doesn't want to be a bossy bitch 24/7 ? Or have sissys bathing them or a tiny penis man in bed with a well hung lover doing a 3 ring circus fuck act on a normal nightly occassion? What if the dominatrix said I can give u YOUR fantasy sane safe and consenting? Does that have value? What's the alternative? Really.... think about it? What if she looked like a vanilla talked like a pervert and fucked like rockstar? Would you want to ask her out? Would you take her on a fun date or expect her to take you to the dungeon? Boys catching a dominant woman is kinda like developing a friendship or falling in love. There are no short cuts and you can't skip to the kinky part first without taking the time to do the vanilla dance. If you seek a ltr it isn't something u can figure out before you take her out. You can't. Send a one line text and hope that it is enough effort to spon your fantastic fetish desires. If you want just the fantasy part it should cost just like other forms of entertainment. If you go to a play off game someone has to pay for the tickets even if you got to go for free... if they were free I bet u won them earned them or barter or traded or god bless it you may have just bought them with cash. My love isn't superficial, my free time shouldn't be spent giving u a 3 ring kink ride on what should be a date. My pro status doesn't mean I'm 24/7 on the job and if I do it for a living it doesn't mean I'm fake and only want to cash and dash. Paying for your fantasy experience doesn't make you a guy who pays for sex. Just cause I'm kinky doesn't mean I have to go down the kinky brick road with you just because u want to explore kinky. Unless u book an appointment and pay for the time, anything else needs to be fun for me and you too. I don't play kinky or fuck on first dates. I don't. Commit to ltr without. Meeting you at least once. Stupid boy .... someday the stupid might be replaced by smarts respect and knowing the difference between why you see a pro and why you want to date a pro. Until then fucking get outa my email inboxes.... I'm tired of hitting the delete button. Thanks Noir

12/19/2011 11:52:51 PM

TO THE MEN WHO SEND ME A INTRO THAT SAYS I WANT TO BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY and of course sight unseen... thats wild.. 
Im amazed your Domme network is full of ladies who are or are not  pro vs lifestyler/ I would think they are not much different than all of us /// we are pro/s and we play with some but for the most part serving a female is gonna cost ya in blood sweat or tears if you don't want to pay cash. Interesting so many men all say the same thing .... you wish to serve one... what happens when you are serving her and she decides to bring another and maybe even another into the dynamic... 
Nothing wrong in approaching Dommes, but to get past the filters of a Domme be it lifestyle or pro - you have to realize in our personal lives we are women who are not that much different from all the other female aliens on this planet. We want conversation, we want to be woo'd, we want to meet men in normal light and have the opportunity to allow the natural order of things to step in and carry interest and attraction to someone in the way you normally would find a person of interest. I find it very very strange that just because we are kinky men and women it seems like that excuses men from the hunt , catch and kill part of the courtship. We as dominant females get what ?? A bunch of men who either pathetic and think they are worthless but yet they want to be of interest to a bitch or we get men who are all wrapped up into their kink and masturbation process who branch out occasionally and try to bring the Domme into it, either by buying time with us or meeting one by  chance or via the internet connecting.... the strange thing about internet connecting is the man assumes Im interested in him for pure sexual pleasure and needs. He makes the contact and assumes I will let him into my personal life for no other better reason than he wishes to serve me ... in weird and not so weird ways. 
Bypass courtship, bypass even a cup of coffee which I hate so lets make it a glass of wine... just ma'am I want to serve you aka your pussy ass his ass his dick blah blah blah .... its kinda rude to assume such intimate things can be decided site unseen, and that we want men who wish to insert themselves into our lives without any regard to just that... Its my life.  I have wants needs and desires IN MY PERSONAL LIFE but they do not have any place in the hands of mystery men who already have significant others, or outa towners passing thru or attending a convention or snowbirds or .... Do you see what I am saying? 
So you want to serve one and only? Have you considered that even if you serve one and only that you may not be her one and only? the kink world brings alot of different aspects to consider... this my sweet man is why i am a professional and I am dominant female. I entertain having a slave or a sub for my own 24/7 but he would have to get past the filters create a desire and initiate a reason for me to want him in my life. Do you think that is done in a quick pass thru and a meeting with me in the name of serving me? How would you serve me and make your time with me so valuable I crave more and more of your service? What are you going to offer straight from the gate that is better than the 250 an hour someone will pay me to be his real life version of that fantasy he plays and stokes off too in his head?  
Why am I giving all this to you... perhaps its venting or me educationalist to the male in his quest for a dominant his ONE AND ONLY to serve... I wonder why men who wish a dominant female to love sees us as so different they toss all the traditional ways to meet and woo a woman ? We are different yes.... much of the things I do with men who seek my dominance to serve me and submit to me are stemmed from the males desires. He leads me to the place he wishes to go to with me and then with some unconscious and deliberate acts I push him into the rabbit hole!! For its then the power can shift and I am free to do with him as he wants me to do things and stuff that are running wild in his head and delivered thru me if we are in tune ... It doesnt' happen often and it never happens with someone who is available and interested in SERVING ONLY ME. It isn't even something I would consider without having chance to meet, spend time with, connect on a personal level and then assess how our kinks fall into play ? Is this something you can do in a single visit? OR over the internet or be decided before even meeting? I would think not likely. 
You keep searching but perhaps after reading my response to you, you'll see the approach of yours for what it is and decide where to go with your future attempts at making a relationship from an interested opportunity via the wild way of cyber communities or any bdsm sites that promise to connect tops and bottom together... When you are given the chance to engage one you best know how to hold your own with her or she will spit you out like a tattered toothpick. Because I get Ma'am let me serve you 10 to 50 times a day from all directions ages and backgrounds. If I ever had someone outside a client relationship in a position of service you can count on him either being a former client because I get to know these men best and relationships form in a pressure free manner or he woo'd me and entertained my female desires in ways I just couldn't resist. 

3/16/2011 3:50:37 AM

Building social networks, having the large friendship circle in a cyber community does what for me again?

End of a day, if there is any time left to forge new online relationships, they better be as good as the manicure I eventually will ruin from the clicking on keys to my keyboard, otherwise no thank you. 

To all the cyber flirts that want to "get to know me "... how does getting to know me benefit you and what will you do with it ? 

Everything and everyone has a price for what they keep in their heads.

This is truly all that I know.

Simply put - we all have 24 hours to a day !!! 
choose wisely those you invite into your personal space -
prioritize that which you cant do tomorrow - 
then give those you love the time and attn they desire of you - 
take a moment to acknowledge that which makes you grateful for gratitude is not an elective in a life well spent - 
give someone a piece of you be it support or labor or wisdom or a life lesson -
savor your significant other and give them your authentic self -
invest in a legacy that others will not ignore - 
be selfish with learning, knowledge is an investment that pays off - 
I must ask to determine the value of honoring your sweet request, what is the price I will pay for investing my time with you? 

Will I be richer, smarter, feel more relaxed or better in bed?

I don't know...

11/7/2010 11:49:07 PM


WOW SCARY... and now seeing it in print ...

 I said it~

Im on a mission to grow my brainpower!!!!


9/20/2010 12:32:10 AM
I am currently seeking a SINGLE AVAILABLE LOCAL BOYTOY for companionship and fetish exploration on my time - doing the things I want to do as the whim moves me. He needs to service oriented and not just pussy serving talented... I want you to be talented in all aspects of serving me. If you have interest in me considering you for such a role - the role being a personal one you need to send me a email with a minimum of 4 paragraphs [total] about: - you - your current situation - why you think you'd be good for me [im not seeking you for sexual servicing companionship exclusively though you may earn the privilege of doing so someday] - what is your availability is on average - what are your talents in life both vanilla and fetish related - The household costs to maintain, and everyone contributes - would you be able too - yes or no [im not asking for amount at this point just yes or no] -Do you prefer to live in or live separately from Mistress -How many miles from Mill and University is your home and your work - Are you hetro or bi or homo flexible - Include a recent picture of you - no dick pics [recent means within the last 90 days] -------------------------------------- I will contact you within 48 hours of receiving your email declaring interest, if I am interested. One liner emails or any email that doesn't have the above info answered will disqualify you- DO NOT SEND THIS INFO IN YOUR FIRST MAIL - ONLY IF YOU GET A REPLY BACK FROM ME WILL YOU SEND THE REQUESTED BELOW: If I send back a email saying you are being considered for this role you will need to agree to and send back the following requested info : - 2 hour interview in person to assess your skills and our compatibility within 7 days from receiving my interested reply - give me your availability for the next seven day period - you need to provide me a phone number and best time to call you in the next 24 hours of receiving your interested - You will need to showcase your best kinky skill sets whatever they may be so be prepared to spend 15 minutes going over and reviewing whatever it is you will have prepared me to showcase those.

2/7/2010 8:11:41 PM
As a Dominant we voice our desires...


Submissives voice theirs...
We have tons of communities and sites and events where you would think we could bump into someone that we "CLICK" with... For pity sake I am a lifestyle and pro-domme.

I sit here tonight still alone and wondering what will it take to make that special connection with someone who is authentic and not perfect but perfect for me... ???

We have alot of CRITERIA and I wonder does that help or hinder us from meeting that most important one where...

So many of us don't give each other the time to show them what we are truly made of and many of us no longer trust the "process" of getting to know someone.
I plead guilty of this myself ~ but I tire of giving endless opportunities to show me they are different from the mass of disappointments that sling my way daily.

That is what is on my mind before I go to bed.

1/29/2010 11:42:05 AM

Old profile ~

"Oh MISTRESS Oh MISTRESS come see what I can do with a sock and a rock and a little piece of leather string. I have a webcam which I beg of you to view  - because when I say I want to serve you I really mean ...its all about me and my fetishes and the efforts made at getting me and my willie off...."    
                           ...Are you serious? 

When you are serving a Mistress, why should it feel so damn labor intensive on my part?

If you want to serve me, you need to learn what submission is in the real world, which is in MY world. 

Its not how well you lick on my ya ya...

Or that you crave a strap-on up your ass... 

It has nothing to do with YOU actually.

The male fantasy has the dominant female serving all his kinky fetish needs and sweetie that is SO NOT submitting to me.


To overcome resistance to direction & yield one(self) to the will of another.

Submission CANNOT be imposed.

Control CAN be imposed or FORCED.

Often it is accomplished through tools of humiliation, intimidation, fear, pain, guilt  and/or shame.

Dominants control not by fear, but by building desire in the submissive to obey.


Real submissives actually submit. They submit more than just their bodies and do not only submit when they "feel like it" doing activities that are self serving for their pleasure ultimately in the acts of submssion they are engaging in.

Submission is not always easy at the hands of a strong dominant female. Submission doesn't give you a free pass from making decisions, thinking, or being responsible for your life and ultimate happiness. 

Despite what those online think they can offer via a webcam or yahoo chat, in order to be a cherished sub, you will give of yourself even when you may not want to. 

At some point I want to feel pride in your loyal devotion to me. If I snap my fingers across a room, you know what is expected of you at that moment and its obvious you belong to me and me alone.

Submission is NOT a sexual act - but sexual acts could be acts of submission... 


Smart Alpha Males that kneel before me naked and give me the power to dangle over them the possibilities of kink and fetish activities is the most intoxicating feeling I can compare it too...

Mental gymnastics is a more mind fuck then a head game. I like to play in a submissives brain  as much as I like to play with their body. 

To serve me is more than knowing how to use your tongue orally or sitting in front of a computer screen having me watch you do STUPID things that feed your kinks and desires most likely. It has nothing to do with YOUR laundry list of activities that you think is submission to me when its actually activities that are most likely self serving to your kinky desires.   

If you read nothing else but this statement on my profile please read it and then understand what I just said. Don't send me an EMAIL if that is all you have to offer me, because its not enough. 

I find it very odd that so many men connect serving a female and satisfying her fully and completely to the act of oral serving of  her genitalia!! Seriously boys, are you TRULY that dumb? To serve - submit - worship me... Actually its so much more than your face in my pussy. 


The reality is ... if a submissive's face is buried between my thighs he must have done something off the charts amazing that the only reward good enough is the gift of my sweet womanhood worn proudly all over his face.  Again, I don't give out  such reward to my submissives casually.  

Now lets see how many of you want to still "serve" me ?!  ... He LOVES me - he LOVES me not - He loves me ... he loves me not!!! HE______?!! ...



If you want to serve me in the MALE FANTASY WAY... where I dominate on your terms, on your schedule, do all the activities you like...

I have room for you too... 

I PROFESSIONALLY DOMINATE for those who want it their way.

Email me and ask for contact info so you can SCHEDULE A SESSION  with me directly.

Please honor the understanding  a tribute, a gift, a financial donation for my time spent 
facsilitating your fetish desires is appropriate.  

12/3/2009 10:50:43 PM
          ...Are you serious? 


Let me be super cyrstal clear ...


WEBcaM PUPPETS are quite time consuming, not all that interesting to watch and ultimately what a WASTE OF MY TIME  unless you webcaming and making money at it... and of course only am I interested if you are using the earnings from your stupid webcam performances to reward me for suffering thru such antic's as need be.

What would qualify as a good reward?
Oh Im thinking of stuff like jewelry - shoes - fetish toys - wine - gift certificates - travel vouchers - juicy courture bags - prada purfume - pampering services - thigh high boots - corsets

11/6/2009 3:26:22 PM
holy mother of mary .... I get so tired of typing this blah blah blah over and over and over... Im gonna get smart...

Again today another young'in has proclaimed their desire to be my personal slave. He is new and wants to be the perfect personal sub to me based on reading my profile.

Im flattered, truly but REALITY folks is different than the fantasy. I do BOTH. But I get VERY VERY annoyed when a man wants to claim their desire to be owned or a submissive to me in a personal setting because they don't want to pay for a professional session.

This isn't what I think he was trying to do so much on a consious level but I still wanted to answer in manner that reflects the reality ...

This is what I wrote... IF ANYONE THINKING ABOUT WRITING ME WITH REGARD TO THEIR INTEREST ON PERSONALLY SERVING ME READS THE BELOW - take it to heart and then check their motivations on what they truly want from me and then make the decision... personal or professional?  Almost all will say they want the professional scenario in a personal setting. Well sorry boys that is JUST FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND SO I DO NOT.
I appreciate your natural polite mannered email ...
I have been doing this for awhile... dominant since I was 4, and sweet thing I am not sure Im your girl.

Your new which isn't the problem... the hiccup is what I think you are looking for and what I am looking for. You are most likely into the FANTASY of the lifestyle and I am into the reality.

Do you know someone who has a bitchy girlfriend and his friends call him pussywhipped? Most of his friends just shake there head and think what the fuck does she got... If the man isnt really fessing up why he puts up with her shit, it could be she's a real dominant and maybe she rocks his fucking brain with the power trip. I use this as a example because so MANY men can't indentify what serving a female dominant would be like in the REAL WORLD.

1st - you can't have another chick in your life - PERIOD. I have tried to have personal situations with PERSONAL SUBMISSIVES wo have other females they answer too and it NEVER works out.

Now if you want to be dominated by me and you have a female significant other that is okay but you would be submitting to me in a professional session. You do me no great service to be attached to another female in my personal life so at this point the benefits are more for you than I. It needs to be a professional relationship because those with significant others need the priveledge of having more of a say in how, when, where, and what kind of submissive you will be to me.

2nd - Location - if you are going to serve as a personal sub to me you can't live an hour away from me. Its no easy to use you when it takes an hour for you to commute to me. The valley is ugly to commute in and it doesn't seem to work out when the submissives live further than a holf hour commute.

As my personal submissive we will sit down and talk about REALITY. Reality is how much time does your life require to do the MUST things in a day - week - month... then what is your free time and when is it? Based on your free time we will come up with a service opportunity schedule that gives me control over your time to be used HOW I SEE FIT for my needs, whims, and desires. That means if we agree you are free on Friday nights and your friends want your to go somewhere with them and I request your service to me same night - you now have a conflict. I would EXPECT you to show up to serve me, in case you didn't know the correct action to the scenario I just pitched...

3rd - Be careful how you extend promises - Promising to not let me down if I considered you as my personal submissive is a lofty empty promise at best.. You are basically sight unseen making a commitment to a lady you have no clue if you REALLy want to serve or not. I do not take well to those that make promises they can't or won't keep because they didnt have enough info or they are used to making empty promises that they know they won't have to live up too.

4th- Serving me isnt a SEXUAL role. Is there sexual activities to serving me?  At times yes but SERVING ME DOESNT require your SEXUAL ABILITIES in order to SERVE ME. This is a huge disappointment to most men who try to wiggle their way into my life as a personal submissive. They think its all crazy SEXUAL acts and serving is all fetish based activities. No, that is the fantasy that your male brains build. Serving me is doing as I wish and need at MY WHIM AND DESIRE. Tying you up doesn't serve me, shoving a strapon in your ass is not serving me, crossdressing isnt serving me, doing STUPID acts over WEBCAM is SO NOT SERVING ME...etc...etc... Being used as my demo boy when I give classes or attend parties, accepting whatever evil wicked games and activities I choose for that event, class, demo scene and being a good subby demo boy is serving me.

Do you think you and I are on the same page here? Are you still interested in serving me? If yes provide me a way to contact you that isn't cyber ... No Im messenger or yahoo email addresses will NOT work as a point of contact for you. A phone number and best time to reach you on that number is what I am asking for.

the Mistress NOir

8/1/2009 8:43:56 AM
A thought ... what is attractive about a blank profile? 

I hate filling them out too, seriously but no data in a situation like this is almost like why bother... Don't send me a a little email that is attached to a profile with nothing on it or very little and NO PICTURE.

My profile gives you a sense of who I am, that is if you got past the pictures and read my words...

6/16/2009 5:10:18 PM
“It’s erotic if you’re using a feather. It’s kinky if you’re using the whole damn chicken.”  ... quoted by unknown
         ~ `````````````````` ~   ~ ```````````````````` ~ 
             - - - - - - - - - -

The more one gets to know me the more they realize I'm  more than most care to go. Thats okay, we don't have to use the whole damn chicken at this moment in time ... giggle!!

The last of the Oxymoronic Goddesses - A GEMINI - A soul that knows both sides of the fence, but I try not to hang out on either side too long on any given day. 


I do extreme activities by some peoples benchmarks and yet I have no problem keeping things mild if that is the wish... It's all subjective really though. Safe - sane - consentual <- one shouldn't play with someone who doesn't embrace these 3 words.

As a professional the client calls the shots, but if you are in my life on a personal level you are in my life on MY terms. I am in the lifestyle personally and I offer fetish and kinky services professionally to those that don't want to commit to a total submission lifestyle relationship. So many say they want but the REALITY is only a teeny percentage really want to give up all control and live it 24/7. 

There are those that fantaisize and those that live the experience. I live the experience. I believe the fantasy is the script but the experience is tangible that takes one from thoughts in your head to euphroria from the experience.  

I am a girl of fascinating study... if someone wants to take the time to really get to know me, they will be rewarded with one of the most unusual, bizarre, refreshing, puzzles of person, personality, will, desire, intelligence, circumstance, potential, and challenged souls you will ever invite into your personal space.  I am dominant 95% and 5% could be submissive but rarely does ANYONE tap into that 5%... It takes quite the man to open that sliver of me!!

A delightful mix of chaos and inspiration I amuse most without much hesitation. A colorful butterfly, beautiful imagination and practical in expectation. I sometimes wonder what my purpose is? I am more into collecting experiences than material collections. I do like nice things and going to terrific places... White gold is better than plated gold... giggle ~ seriously!!

I believe in the magic of sexual fantasy with a lover, the power of chemical attraction, and my relentless desire to love and have a powerful man as my significant other. With such a man comes conflict, sacrifices, concessions, intoxicating power and very addictive pheromones. I have experienced a passion that most will never know with one such and it lasted 14 years. It was also undeniably torturous to have loved someone very significant. I find myself now chasing only those who come intense in their anal personality, seep confidence, wear unpredictable well, easily can give me more intelligence than my best brilliance, and is more a kinky freak than a romantic lover.  But I quit chasing and stopped looking for someone special a couple minutes ago ... oops I mean lifetimes ago.  Connecting with a likeminded companion proves to be a harder than I want to believe. I do chase fairytales still even if they mainly stay hidden in the safety of my daydreams saved for special occasions.

Mr. Special can find me if he wants too!!

It would be nice to captivate lust, fuel fetish, and create fantasies within the safe realm of a relationship with someone I can trust. A “relationship” for me can be outside the box, and 24/7 or marriage is not what I am striving for. Maybe something likes a Mafia Mistress or an Executive’s Muse… for I have concluded all the knights in shining amour are more hype than real beyond the fairytale pages. The ability to find an activity friend, playmate, lover, a fabulous significant other who lives here local, has many travel miles he can use, or commutes here for work on a regular basis is where I am at as far as intimate companions are concerned. My need for intimacy craves more than just predictable orgasms. I like men whom are older vs. younger. I prefer men who white collared professionals and have a bit of life experience under their belt. 

Important **  If you have a wife and you still want to take on the lusty desires of me, the lure of you being a NSA passion and pleasure provider between my thighs alone will NOT get me interested in you. Paint me a picture that has secret bunglows, silk, vodka lemons, and 4in heels... throw in spoiled, generous, sexy silk stockings and lunch that lasts until dinner... Book a trip to nowhere and pack me in your to-go bag, hmm... ?! Now you've peaked my interest!!  - Mr Married have I painted a clear picture?
uring a "long distance/out of sta attraction" is too hard unless we get together IN PON regularly. I DO NOT WANT AN ONLINE ANYTHING AT THIS TIME.

No coffee dates either. I hate coffee, fight the urge to suggest starbucks!!


Mistress Oxymoronic

My mind is a beautiful thing so you will honor it and appreciate I need ALOT of mental stimuli. Your intelligence is the most important quality you have to offer. Yes... even before your submission!!

If you are moved to send me an email, PLEASE  read my profile before you pop off a silly email. I would give you the same respect and courtesy if I were to send you an email!!

                  `  ``````````````````~   ~``````````````````  

IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO CONNECT WITH ME FACE 2 FACE for whatever reason, or resides in a different geography, shy, MARRIED OR IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP... the pleasure I could obtain from such a restrictive scenario warrants my consideration for such limited  sessions on a PROFESSIONAL LEVEL ONLY!!

“I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.”         
                                 ~   Alexandre Dumas 

6/14/2009 3:11:50 AM

"You DON'T really KNOW me"

I love flowers but I am not a flowery girl...  
I am gentle but tough... 
I am wise and nieve... 
I am passionate and fickle... 
I am honest to a fault... 
I love and I can hate...  
I want you and I want you to want me... 
Please enjoy me and let me enjoy you...
I will accept your kisses but never your pity...
I will honor you and tease you...
I will hold you close and let you get lost in my eyes... 

My heart has been hurt but it has not completely hardened to love... 

I will allow you to earn my trust as it is no longer given blindly or freely... 

May I earn yours?

As a vanilla I fall short...

As a complex driven human being I seem to be destined to search, seek, and quest for deeper flavor's beyond, chocolate, strawberry and vanilla...

Domination isn't a game its a mindset that requires constant feeding...

If you seek me beyond a superfical layer, make sure you can offer something that will set you apart from all the rest.



still wanting something...but haven't found what I crave ~

5/26/2009 2:16:32 AM
~   "Dominance consumes submission consumes dominance."  ~    

I am one of the real ones...

I live this lifestyle ...

Its my job and I understand the good - the bad -  the ugly and even the pretty parts of being kinky.

I seek personal companionship ... which is harder than one might think as I am a PRO-Domme.

I seek clients because I know that I provide those that benefit from a transactional relationship a very special gift that they may not have without me being in their life.

I am a gemini... I have both DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSIVE flowing thru the veins of my being...

I live oxymoronic and that isn't easy... SERIOUSLY!!!

I know what I want but I don't ever see anything close out in the "REAL WORLD". I choose not to settle... why?!! I don't want something just okay.

I believe in the LAW OF ATTRACTION and I am grateful for this. If you choose to respond be thoughtful to what I seek and respectful to what I offer and desire.

The Last Oxymoronic Goddess 

        !! I am a fantasy director !!


You will be on your knees before me, your head lowered, the session begins momentarily!

Do you crave and desire the feeling of the slave collar for Mistress NOir?

Take a deep breath in and hold it..

Shhhhh - close your eyes and count to 5…

Are you ready?

1... 2... 3... 4... 5...

We are about to shift the dynamic of power... you are NO longer in control ~

I would like to reflect & share one thought before continuing on: Nothing worthwhile in this world comes free!

Thank you for respectfully being considerate in what I’m looking for, before you decide to reach out and make contact with me.

The old saying “I prefer quality not quantity" applies here.

My role is facilitating your desire to walk on the dark side... putting you in a position where you have no choice – no option but to do as you are instructed.

My imagination can be mild to wild so you don’t have to worry. Your limits will be respected. Your will may be broken but in the sweet surrender of submission comes the pleasure of knowing it’s out of your control and you must trust yourself to let yourself go.

Nothing peeves me more than a submissive who books a session, but for whatever reason cancels without letting me know.

Be respectful - thank you.


Ms. Noir    
professional Dominatrix
                     ~`~  ~`~

5/19/2009 2:11:40 PM
A EMAIL FROM A SUBMISSIVE who happens to be a psychologist.

The reason I share this with those that come to my profile is so many of you pop onto my profile and initiate an email exchange but it seems as though you haven't read my profile or don't understand what I seek and what I offer.

Many of you think I am rude when I respond curtly or not at all. Many think I am a rude conceited bitch when I repsond in a tone that reads blunt but truthfully... so be it !!!

Its nice to hear from someone who has read what you wrote and then validates ...HEY LADY YOU AIN'T SO CRAZY AFTER ALL... thank you thank you ~

Dear Miss BDP, i just finished reading Your profile and Your Journal entries (yes, i did read them all), and i was greatly impressed with not only your insight, but in the manner in which You communicated Your opinions. It was not demeaning or patronizing, but given in a caring tone. While i am not seeking to serve You (i live in Connecticut), i wanted to offer the feedback from not only a submissive, but a psychologist as well...that Your tone, genuineness, power, and mature understanding radiates from You. i wish You well in Your own journey. From _____

5/15/2009 12:57:36 PM

______Alright, So here's the deal: This essay is self-help for the sorts of submissives who moan that they can't find a domme, it's my shot in the dark to help them. Perhaps I'll turn one single life around, that will be enough. Hopefully, my help is wider ranging. Before the lesson begins, I'm going to lay some things out on the table. I'm arrogant, I know it, and it works for me, so don't go hunting me down online to tell me I'm a dick: I know. I am not a submissive, but for much of my life, I identified as one. I'm bisexual, and while this guide should work for the male dom persuasion, it's targeted at straight male submissives seeking a domme.

______I do not claim to know everything about women, or dommes, but I have spent plenty of time around them, intimate and friendly. I've talked to them, and they've talked to me. I've watched males approach and be rejected, and I'm compiling what I've seen, and what I know to work. Nonetheless, chaos theory rules our universe, and all people are different. This guide may work out terribly for you, and it may help you meet the person you die with. I'm not responsible for any of the bad stuff, but if you do meet the love of your life, remember this essay. Hell yeah.

Class Time!

______Lesson 1: Before you can learn how to court a domme, you need to step your game up. It does not matter how well you think you can please a domme with your acts, if you yourself are lagging behind. Much of this has to do with self image. Not body image, you don't need to be especially fit... but it helps.

______First, what kind of submissive are you? To not have an answer to this question will make things a lot more complicated in the end. Are you a masochist, but not especially big on intense obedience, preferring a playful, kinky interaction? Are you a devoted, emotionally invested type, who wants to be cuddled and held, but owned? There are many possible answers, and I am not arrogant enough to think I know them all –Figure out what yours is, so that you can build confidence onto your brand new self image.

______Contrary to what you may be hearing, and for some of you, contrary to your fantasy, dommes do not want a sniveling, groveling, slobbering man at their feet moaning about how utterly worthless his worm cock is, and won't you please cut it off. This is not attractive, not to anyone except for some of the most uncommon of sadists. Even a pure sadist will usually prefer some fight in their prey. Do not convince yourself you are not a real man, do not convince yourself that women as a whole gender are superior to you, and do not convince yourself that you'd be lucky if a domme even looked at you.

______If you've read this far, you're not one of the ones who went running when they realized that there's work involved in this, and some of it just isn't sexy. Feel good about yourself, we just dropped some people from the class and you're still here.

______Some of you are probably indignant now. “But I like calling myself an icky gooey worm!”, “but I am not a real man, really!”. Those things are okay, they're part of fantasy, and no matter how deeply you like to submit, how dark it gets, this guide is still for you... because an important part of all this is separating in your mind the aspect of an intimate human relationship, and the erotic fetishism of obedience, humiliation, shoes, whatever your kinks may be. Those are not important nearly as much as the former, so put them away for the duration of this essay, and listen with the other half. If you can't do this, you may want to reassess your commitment.

______Figured out how to separate your kink from the relationship? Good, on we go.

______Lesson 2: No matter your confidence, the wrong approach will mess everything up. We're going to get metaphorical here, and possibly dig into some meta-narrative, so buckle your seatbelts. This part is the one where some dommes simply will not be compatible with what I tell you, but I firmly believe it's general enough to really be worth teaching. If you were linked to this guide by a domme you approached, this is your section.

______A common image of a male submissive approaching a domme that is seen these days on IRC and forums is for the man to declare that he will “do anything” for her, or that he is “her slave”. Perhaps he will be even so presumptive to call her “Mistress” this early on. Bad move. Dommes get a constant stream of that sort of thing, it is not arousing, it will not work for you, and it may even lose you your chance, marking you as an HNG, “Horny Net Geek”, a pariah of the community, one who drifts around pumping people for bits of fantasy to stroke over.

______The fundamental error in this method is that it objectifies the domme, reducing her as a person to just a dominant female sexbot, waiting to fulfill your crazy fantasy. It also sends the message that you are not serious, just out for the digital equivalent of a one night stand. As far as common knowledge goes, women are a hell of a lot less likely to be interested, especially in the kink community where relationships may even be nonsexual, entirely about a power dynamic.

______Now that you know what not to do, comes my answer to what you should do, something that has brought me many, many domme friends with whom I share mutual respect, and even a few of the most amazing erotic experiences of my life, most of which I didn't even ask for.

______Upon seeing a domme you have an urge to court, ask yourself a few questions, and hold the answers close. “Do I know who she is, as a person, or do I just know that she is a domme?”. If you don't, and she's new to you, don't approach her like you're a groupie, or a friend. It's creepy as hell. “Do I know if she is open to talking to new people, if she's outgoing?”. If you don't know, don't be surprised if she reacts harshly, and most certainly don't lash back, especially in front of other dommes. Many dommes have been harassed and bugged by HNGs for so long that they're automatically on guard about any male submissive approaching; who'd blame them?

______Once you're ready for rejection, and calm enough to not come off as a stalker, you can begin. The idea is not to throw yourself at her feet in a show of devotion, but to show that you are a real person yourself, and there's more to you than just your collar and your dick. This part is guided by practice and finesse in social interaction about which there are books upon books. Show the sharpness of your blade, but do not be boastful. Conversing or writing in an intelligent, respectable manner helps a lot here, as does having wit, and knowing when not to use it. You're attempting to assert yourself as someone worth her time not because you're willing to submit (that's so common she won't even blink), but because you're interesting to talk to, fun to have around, and you make her smile. This is why you stepped your game up. Why does she care that you'll submit, if you have nothing to submit to her?

______I'll add in a list of some of the things that dommes don't want to hear about, and some of these if brought up will decapitate your chances on the spot: How you're such a nice guy, and girls always go for assholes. Jokes about women. Your past ex, and how much of a bitch she was. Your collection of 50 pairs of worn panties you bought on eBanned. That you're masturbating, right now. They also don't like being asked dumb questions about obvious stuff, such as “do you like using a strapon to fuck your submissive?” and it's obvious when you ask that kind of shit that you're masturbating to her answer. Most will simply stop talking to you. Yes, we know, even the guy doms. Yes, it's obvious as fuck every single time you do it. Stop. You're a creepy shit.

______Once you've established that your mental blade is sharp, you will then lay it at her feet, the gesture offering your submission, testing if she's willing to take your interactions to the next phase. How you handle it makes all the difference, and how you handle being rebuffed at this point will strongly affect your reputation and future chances.

______Do not ruin your hard work by begging her to accept your submission, or acting as though you're really really excited that she's talked to you, and now you want to tie some knots. You're not in yet, any sort of commitment is still off the table entirely. You still just met, don't forget that. This concept may be foreign to some subs, but you're going to have to play hard to get, here. Yes, you. If you hand it over without a fight, it sends the message that you don't place much importance in your free will, and who you submit to. You not having standards is an insult to her. So have standards. Make sure she's up to them, but tactfully. Pull back the blade, and see if she tugs. Don't be an asshole (those pickup-artist books are wrong, subtlety is -key- here, just being a dick is going to get you dicked). Do show that there's more to you that just submission, that you have enough dom in your blood to stand up for her when it matters, and to stand up for yourself.

______Women (and men) typically are not flattered by the fact they're able to be in control of a lumpy, wimpy, awkward nerd. Flattery is when that witty, funny, sexy guy who got a second look shows that he knows what he's got, and then allows himself to be taken. Be that guy.

______Lesson 3: Keeping the flame requires that you don't return to your old ways. Yeah, I know... it's horrible. You're gonna have to stay confident, not go back to being a doormat, and maybe even talk to your new domme as an equal! This part, I don't have much to say about, because if you still need to be told, you're doomed to die alone. Don't ever forget she's a whole person, not just a domme. Don't ever forget that you are a full person, too. Most definitely do not forget that your confidence is your single biggest asset, and knowing how and when to use it makes all the difference. As a dom, I can definitely tell you that a submissive with no confidence is not fun to have or keep, and unless it's my kink for him, a boy constantly referring to himself as worthless, a worm, etc. just becomes annoying, and fast. Do call me Sir though, I just love being called Sir.


______Thanks for hanging on through this whole thing, if you've made it so far. Feel free to share your opinions with me, and if you do have a success story, let me hear about it. If I help even one couple form, It was all worth it. If you want to complain about my generalizations and stereotypes in this story, don't bother. If you want personal advice, I may be willing to provide counsel. If you want me on your leash as a result of this essay, contact me, because while I'm most certainly not at a place in my life where I'm seeking or ready for another relationship, anyone who wants to play with me has gotta be worth meeting. If you want to have a drink and a chat at the next Folsom Street Fair, lemme know, I always love meeting new people there.

Over and Out,


Reposted from a forum posting on a member based site I belong too...

He did a great job ~ please take the time to read it if you have any desire to serve a Mistress in reality, which is different than a fantasy played only in ones head. If you want my attn, time, and companionship you gotta first get my attn ... which is  harder than you think ~

2/26/2009 6:23:36 PM
THIS HAS GOT TO BE SAID BECAUSE I GET AN INSANE AMOUNT OF EMAILS THAT BASICALLY ALL SAY THE SAME THING ... OH MISTRESS OH MISTRESS YOU ARE THE _____ [fill in the blank]... your beauty has captivated my cock and is now making me do a pretty stupid thing.

I am going to send you an email that professes all sorts of nice ideas running thru my head and by writing you a letter that proclaims my desire to serve you ... well I hope you belief my email ... even though they are pretty much fantasies that most likely will never be played out as I haven't really thought what it means in FUCKING REALITY when I send you this email begging to be your slave - pet - property  - lover - submissive - whatever  you wish to be silly man ...

So before you share your I wanna be owned by nobody but you fantasy with me... READ this journal entry and only after you think about what I have outlined below THEN... you can send me such a email because you are going to send me an email that has the info I want here below...

I WILL NOT RESPOND TO AN OUT OF STATE EMAIL unless you provide me with a very good reason why I should waste my time on someone who can only communicate via cyberville because distance IS AN ISSUE.

so... all you please own me wanna be's read what I want from you ... don't send me an email unless you address what I have requested ....

I don't get false hopes up, so this is what I say to EVERY out of stater...

you wish to be owned by ME?

Its up to you to book a flight out here - I expect you to submit to a 72 hour interview and assessment process in which you and I will determine after the 72 hours if you and I have enough likeminded interests and the chemisty is there to move forward in a direction that makes sense... such as ownership.

I don't OWN anything I don't like and I have to see it - touch it - taste it - smell it ... before I can truly determine if I want to OWN it...

Send me a picture so I can put a face to your words...

when you send me your pic... you are to include 3 paragraphs on the topic of what does it mean to me to be OWNED by a Mistress...

I want names of Mistresses you have served in the past both professional and lifestyle. If I wanted references of your service to date would any of them say nice things about you and your service to them?

Moving out here doesn't mean I would be taking care of you ... you would be taking care of me... Doing my dishes and licking my pussy isn't enough ... Licking my boots doesn't pay the bills Mr. Hopeful...

You have a job where you are at but that doesn't mean you have a job here... Have you thought about how you would earn money once you moved? Its approching summer here and its fucking hot. This isn't a summer vacation destination spot for people so Phx goes into conserve mode for most businesses. We have a very high unemployment rate here too. Most industries are having hard times here. You will have to show me during your interview with me, what your game plan is for transition - relocating - and cash flow until you find cash flow here.

Your words are nice enough but REALLY how much thought have you put into this fantasy ...

I am not a green behind the ears Mistress  and you my dear need to present me a more detailed response that shows me you really want to back up your blah blah you jare about to send to me....

2/26/2009 6:08:27 PM
If a man wants my time on his terms he is seen on a professional basis ..

If a man wants my attn in a personal way then I am no different than any female ... I expect that man to date me ... not just for play but for what it is a personal thing. That means that man needs to call me and ask me out on a date more than once ... get to know me DO THINGS WITH ME ... spend time with me ... learn who I am as a person OUTSIDE of the Dominatrix aspect.  i don't allow to many people within the lifestyle to absorb my personal life because first and foremost those who I do let in need to be more than superfical ... which is hard to find - period.


12/24/2008 1:29:20 PM
MERRY MERRY HAPPY HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON for whatever the reason... This time of year is magical and I celebrate the birth of the christ child... PEACE ON EARTH... and truly I wish goodwill towards all mankind.  Enjoy the opportunities to be we loved ones - give and receieve... and my only question is who is making the "glog" ... I am not this year and pouty face I think I will miss no christmas glog!!

8/26/2008 5:40:57 PM

Actively recruiting for: 1 lucky/unlucky submissive male to participate in the “CHASTITY EXPERIMENT”

I am seeking a submissive male who resides in Phx, AZ...

[I will NOT entertain those who wish to relocate UNLESS you can show reasonable proof that you are able to relocate yourself and do it within 29 days at your expense]

- You will be responsible for your own living expenses even if you live under my roof.


- You must be willing to put your dick into a chastity device of my approval with the knowledge that it will be long term but not to exceed 364 total.


- You must be willing to commit to weekly or face-to-face sessions with me. [EVERY SESSION WILL BE VIDEOTAPED OR RECORDED]
- You must agree to be videotaped or recorded without a mask. That means yes it is highly likely your face will be seen at some point in the sessions we tape
- You must be willing to completely submit to me while wearing the chastity device
- You must give all keys that can unlock your device to me for safekeeping and holding during the duration of this experiment
- You must have a palatable appearance
- You must be over 21
- You cannot be a sassy or bossy bottom during taped sessions
-You must sign a model consent form

Do not contact me for more information if you cannot say yes to every bullet point I have just listed above. Only the serious should inquire or email me for more information.

To be considered for this opportunity, you need to send me an email response that details why you are interested in such an opportunity, where you reside now, what is your present financial situation, your partner status, how long you have been in chastity in the past, what Mistress you served while in chastity, and direct contact info.

Do NOT send me another email or chat name as contact info – I WANT A PHONE NUMBER AND BEST TIME TO REACH YOU AT IT.

You will be responsible for purchasing your chastity device you will wear during this experiment.

I am looking for this special submissive to report to chastity training within the next 30 days, so if you are interested DO NOT dilly-dally in replying to my posting here.


Ms. NOir

8/25/2008 1:12:57 PM
Against my sane judgement but crazy enough to go for it anyways... looking for a 24/7 submissive. But the process has been nothing short of disappointing because every single man, beast and other that has emailed interest  or communicated their desire to be my 24/7 or my love interest has presented themselves as nothing more than a bunch of hot air. 

You need to be able to reside in Phx AZ. I dont care what the masses say about distance and relocation and blah blah blah ... The reality is I MUST GET TO KNOW SOMEONE FACE 2 FACE and if a 24/7 submissive playtoy pet isn't front and center in my life from the get go??? What makes one think that if we communicate over the internet, chat 100 hours online, phone call and exchange emails.... tht this would be sufficent and acceptable as a form of getting to know a submissive and their real potencial and/or value to me. NOT!!

Serving me online IS NOT SERVING ME. It actually PISSES me off quite franky that there are those that think if they do circus acts on webcam, shove elephants up their asses and throw out a few yes ma'm no ma'ams  and that is SERVING me.

Let me help you understand how I define  a 24/7 sumissive.... a) you are in my life strictly to bring ME pleasure
b] My needs are your true focus
c] You must bring me value from the get go.... your talents- your resources - your servitude is being weighed and assessed by me the moment you are in my sphere of influence. 
d] There is NO trial run opportunity for a submissive that can't be looking at the whites of my eyes in 20 minutes or less REAL TIME. 
e] a true submissive who wants to apply for a servitude postion with me respects my position on serving a Mistress Online in the hopes it grows into more... 

I DO NOT OFFER MY FREE TIME UP to CHIT CHAT WITH A BUNCH OF GUYS who merely are USING me to fulfill their needs from the bottom postion.

Basically if all you are bringing to the table when you present yourself for consideration is the opportunity to sit even more in this damn computer chair and ruin my beautiful manicures because I have to subject them to keyboarding more than they should have too because my 24/7 applicants why to try me out or get to know me for the sake of comaptibility...  GUESS WHAT... it doesn't do nothing honey!!

My domination can sweetly coaxed out of me cyber boys - It is  simple ~ if you wish to have my focused attn on you and your silly cyber submissive desires or you want me to pay attn to you long enough for you to have the time you need to whoo me with all the attributes that don't seem to transfer well over email banter I suggest you try old fashioned "courting" ... And since you are doing it from a distance the next best thing to you taking me out to dinner is sending me and my girlfriend to dinner since you can't be here to do it yourself... pedicures, massages, pampering of any kind is going to get you further than begging me to consider you from afar.  Donations to paypal, gifts of appreciation ALL fabulous ideas!!! No idea what to gift a Mistress so that she gives you the time of day? Go to my wishlist found on ThingsIWant [useadot]here]com - you'll find a wishlist for me under MSNOIR.

Relocation must be simple, at your expense and within a 30 day window if you pass the interview and assessment phase with me.

Serious inquiries only.

Out of the country candidates will not be considered at this time unless you already have a working visa in place.

Not looking for someone who wishes to be treated as property. Having a viable INTELLIGENCE factor to your overall personality is critical to you getting a interview. I am seeking a companion that is submissive, not a doormat, or object, or mere thing I abuse. I will value your humanity, respect your values, seek your opinions and hold your thoughts highly.

You will serve as my muse and together we will create great things that will be mutually fulfilling in the big picture of you and I!!

IF you want to be seriously considered, you must send me a email that details why you think you would be the perfect muse/submissive for me - what do you bring to the table - if you must relocate what your process would require to be under my roof within 30 days if chosen for this opportunity. What is your financial status, can it be verified? US citizen? Age? Why do you seek such an arrangement? have you done this before? With whom, and can they be contacted as references to your abilities? Please provide me with a telephone # and best time to reach you.... !!!




7/9/2008 12:45:42 AM


I have a 14 year old that lives with me part-time every week and her needs for a normal living enviroment must be respected.

I am NOT looking for FREE - I CAN PAY RENT!!!

Please contact me immediately as time is tick tocking away and I have found nothing suitable as of yet.

5/22/2008 8:33:26 PM
Profile: On hold due to lack of intelligent submissives that know how to read...

I will only check this site a couple times a week. Don't bother leaving messages here, IF you want a fast response. Now if you just want to leave a dumb email response like most do, then fine. Be my guest....


I have come back from a lovely rest myself... 

A question to you viewing my profile here on Collar Me... 



I’m amazed at how many responses I get from those who claim to be interested in me, yet their initial email introductions lack any sort of indication that they read my profile at all. Some say no they don’t bother reading the profiles because none of the stuff in the profiles is true. Interesting?!! Well … okay… I guess my thought process on that is how can you get what you desire if you are not truthful in what you seek and those you hope to find?


I don’t think intelligence is reserved for just the dominant, yet I see so little in the submissive. I have no patience for stupidity and blatant disrespect.


Respect is a mutual place we can both start at.  Respect is expected with your first point of contact with me.  Should you decide to send me an email without reading my profile, finding the code word located in my blah blah and inserting it into your introductory email as instructed below, your email will most likely be deleted unread.  I think it is fair to ask that you read what I have wrote in my profile before writing a response that you wish for me to read that you have wrote.


Quirky Domme with a sweet and twisted mental intellect that tends to leave my submissive guessing when they think about me... A body soft with curves of an ancient Goddess [oh the ancient goddesses weren't built like twiggy, neither am I] a personality that morphs at the snap of a finger or the mood dictates. I am a lifestyle/pro-Domme hybrid Mistress... I have a sadistic streak but I am not extreme in pain.


I am in the mood for a few good play sluts for my pleasure and amusement focused around submission, role-play, and serving. I'm open to considering all male and female want to be's that are submissive in nature and flexible in being available to me your Mistress.

The IDEAL candidates perfect for this role would be unattached. If you are married, your needs can't conflict with the boundaries I have in place for married/attached submissives who wish to serve and submit to me anyways.   I would love to play with more cross dressers as I love the game of dress-up … If you have some bdsm experience under your belt, willing to give up control whenever we are together, can submit to me, open to play that complements my fetish tastes and desires, then by all means... YOU SHOULD SEND ME AN EMAIL EXPRESSING YOUR INTEREST IN SERVING this high strung, but quite fun Domme.

Just so expectations are set appropriately... I'm NO different than most girls, I like to be spoiled and treated well!!  BOYS>> Submission suited to YOUR needs requires YOU to be attentive to MY needs and honey they aren't hiding between my legs.  A good rule of thumb is generous with me and I will reward it by being generous with you.


Fetishes and Kinks I love to explore with submissives: 
- Tease & Orgasm Denial
- Small Penis Humiliation
- Humiliation [public or private]
- Chastity Play & Key holding Services
- Spankings [discipline and play]
- Cross-dressing Dress-up & shopping
- Foot Worship & High Heels
- Role-play games
- Medical Fetish
- Restraining & Cage Activities
- Clothed Female Naked Man Games
- Homemade Video's
- Power Exchange
- Vintage Clothing

If you wish to play with me in any way, shape, or form, you will need to send me an email introducing yourself to me, politely.  All first email contacts should include the following info about you and what you desire from me…


      1.    Your Name
A recent picture of you, not of your silly willy
 A way to reach you direct, I'm not looking for an IM Screen name or different email address. I can email you quite easily right here thru CM
4. A phone number and best time to call you is preferred. If you can’t give me your number, then you need to beg me for mine, with a good reason why.
5.   T
ell me about your fantasies and your kinks 
6.    Tell me why YOU are the submissive I should respond too, especially if I get 10 emails from others today!!

What do you have to offer as a submissive other than the very basic obvious?
8.    If you are not local, and are NOT seeking real/time play with me, please do share what you are looking for?

I’m not a prostitute but I can tell you where to find one. She is going to be a hella lot cheaper than trying to get sex play from me. I don't care if you’re getting laid or not. If your lover or partner won’t let you fuck, orally please, whatever you two do to the point of sexual release, I’m very sorry for you both, but it’s not really my issue!!  End of discussion...

4/30/2008 9:51:34 AM
So much whining and bellyaching you boys make over the subject regarding tributes, WHY????




Mickey Mouse's butt plug ride isn't free over here either. If you can't tribute, then buy a butt plug and play with yourself.  Even cheaper for those of you on a really tight budget, use a cucumber [1.99] and you can wash it and use it in your salad later.

4/6/2008 8:49:55 PM
SEEKING A CROSSDRESSER/SISSY to be in a video series with me. I am looking for a crossdresser who is willing to be in a series of "HOW TO" instructional videos for crossdressers. You will have to show your face in these video's and I prefer it not be your first experience in crossdressing. 

If you want more info you need to SEND ME a email that includes pictures of you as man and dressed up as as a female. Please provide me with a phone number and best time to call you. Include the time zone.

I prefer you be in the USA. Don't worry about where you live at this point. Just be living in the USA.

I would like to find the perfect crossdresser to fill the role in this video series in the next 30 days.

This is a REAL opportunity, so don't answer or inquire on this unless you are really interested.

1/31/2008 3:29:07 PM

Those who are not local but still would like my undivided time and attn. can get it now.  

Request info on how to schedule a phone appt.  with me if interested!!!

Let's talk!!

1/7/2008 3:47:15 PM
If I have given you my number so that you can contact me directly... I DO NOT ANSWER PRIVATE OR BLOCKED CALLS.

You have 2 choices call me from an unblocked # or leave a voice mail message with contact info and best time to contact you back.


1/4/2008 2:37:18 PM

Well hmmmm...

Are you a talented submissive who can serve me in trade by bartering their services or gifting items I have listed below:

- Black Durable Wrist and Ankle Cuffs


- WEB MGR: for ongoing content managment

- "Metal/Welder" that has the resources and tools to make me a couple custom pieces for MY pleasure

- Wooden paddle with holes - Frat style {RECEIVED}

- Insertable Pyrex Toys {inquire for specifics}

- Fetish Costume Designer and Tailoring Services

- Fetish Shoes and Boots [inquire for specifics] {I HAVE 1 SHOE SLAVE AT THIS TIME}

- Legal / Business Advisor

- Small Exam Table with Stirups

- Spanking Bench [must be a specific style so inquire before making or purchasing this item] {THIS IS BEING CUSTOM MADE}



12/25/2007 3:05:34 PM
220 is my hourly tribute....

12/13/2007 1:04:10 PM

First time we meet, I suggest either a 1 hr. or 2 hr. fantasy consultation... 

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