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Chapter 1 - Finding a Dominant
? Always trust your gut. If something feels wrong it probably is.
? Intuition and common sense are your most valuable instincts.
? Look for the same personality/qualities you would look for in a vanilla partner.
? Be yourself. Never compromise who you are to gain the attention of a Dominant.
? Be clear and honest about what you are seeking in a relationship.
? Some Dominants will never love you.
? Some Dominants have no desire to fuck you.
? Don't be afraid to say "no" to prospective Dom/mes who aren't compatible.
? You do not have to take orders or obey every Dominant who approaches you.
? Just because you are sub doesn't mean you should let Dom/mes walk all over you.
? You do not have to spend money on, or give money to, a Dominant.
? You do not have to send naked photos to a Dominant.
? Be careful how much personal info you reveal to strangers.
? Make a list of mandatory questions to ask prospective Dom/mes.
? Ask questions respectfully, then respectfully question answers.
? A Dominant who refuses to answer basic questions has something to hide.
? Talk to other subs and Dom/mes before you meet someone new. Get references.
? Expensive fetish clothes/toys or a booming voice does not make a Dominant.
? Some Dominants exaggerate their lifestyle experience in order to impress subs.
? A Dominant with many years of experience may still be a total asshole or abusive.
Chapter 2 - Being safe
? A good Dominant will make sure you feel safe at all times when meeting.
? Anything that is not consensual is abuse.
? A Dominant who refuses to honor your safeword is abusing you.
? Use common sense if ordered to have unprotected sex with strangers.
? Clean insertables yourself before and after they are used on you.
? Make sure your play partner knows all your medical conditions before scening.
? Drop any Dominant who orders you not to get medical or psychological help.
? Calling your safeword is not a sign of failure. It will help improve future scenes.
? Never tell a Dominant you have no limits.
? Never rush off to another state to meet a Dominant you just met. Be patient.
? Use safe calls (phone calls at established times) when meeting for the first time.
? Always meet in public on your first date.
? If you must play on a first date, do it at a public dungeon.
? Do not allow a Dominant to isolate you from family or loved ones.
? Pay attention to your physical/mental condition after scenes.
? Some subs need more aftercare than others.
Chapter 3 - Protocol
? The most important protocol to learn is your own Dominant's.
? Basic etiquette and manners are all that is required at most lifestyle events.
? Make sure you know all the rules of a specific event and don't break them.
? When collared, your behavior in public is a direct reflection upon your Dominant.
? Learn when to speak and when to be silent.
? Do not touch other people's property (subs, toys) without permission.
? Never interrupt other people?s scenes (ie. touching, talking or laughing loudly)
? Always clean up after your scene.
Chapter 4 - Your Journey
? Don't expect a Dominant to solve all your problems in life.
? Be responsible for your own health, financial independence and happiness.
? Never stop learning about yourself and ways to improve your submission.
? Never limit yourself to just one source of information.
? Don't spend more money than you can afford on fetish gear, toys, or events.
? You do not have to be a pain slut to be a good sub.
? This is your journey. Live it the way that makes you happy and satisfied.
? If you aren't having fun, you are doing it wrong.
? It's ok to be alone.
? You can decide for yourself whether to be monogamous or poly.
? Don't rush blindly into relationships because you are so eager to serve.
? Take time to honestly learn what you need and want out of the lifestyle.
? Keeping a private journal can help you get to know yourself better.
? Discover who you are in your submission... sub or slave, masochist or no pain, etc.
? Just because you're a sub doesn't mean you shouldn't get your needs met too.
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