A lot of clients, especially men on cam, ask me if I'm really a submissive.  The answer is undeniably yes!  All it takes is a firm hand and voice and maybe a little bit of pain to get my juices flowing.  Had an amazing scene with a new Daddy last night.  He was very generous to me and gave me lots of orgasms.  He also grabs me by the neck and hair and has me crawl on all fours from room to room.  He can be quite heavy handed, but that just seems to get me wetter, lol.  It was a pretty epic night.  Purrrrrrrrrrrr 

I am not however, a lifestyle submissive.  I actually think that makes me a good professional submissive because I can switch into nonsubmissive mode when dealing with skeazy men on the phone and when I need to make sure my boundaries are respected in sessions.  I'm also not a service submissive.  I like the idea of service, but only when it comes to the scene.  I have no desire to clean my Dom's house or carry his bags.  I do like to be of service to people.  I like taking care of people.  But that goes toward everyone, friends, Doms, and strangers alike, and I like it to be my decision and in my time.

Daddy is a lifestyle Dominant.  I could never be with Daddy on a permanent basis.  I am just too independent to live as someone's submissive.  But it was really nice to go over and slip into submission.   I can go over for a night, get ordered around, beaten, fucked, and serve my Daddy. Then I can go home and be my more autonomous self.   I feel so lucky that I get the best of all worlds:)

Dear Sir that spent all day texting me,

I am a professional submissive.  This means that I submit to you only after you pay me (unless you are my boyfriend, in which case, lucky you).  This does not mean that I am obligated to text you back within seconds of you texting me as if I have nothing else to do.  This does not mean that I treat you like my Master during every conversation.  That was never negotiated or agreed upon.  You are not my Master until the minute the session starts.  If you want to treat me like your sub during our phone and text conversations, you are going to have to pay for that too.  And the fact that I'm submissive does not, in general, give you the right to be an asshole.

Subs deserve respect for what they do. The giving over of power is just that, a gift.  Treat it like that.  Labelling myself as submissive does not automatically mean that I am obligated to submit to you.  The very fact that you think that means that I probably never will.  And I wish you had called my boss the way you threatened to.  Because she knew you were calling and she was not planning on being as nice as I was.

Sincerely,

natalie

I had such a fun shower experience with a new client on Thursday!  It was completely unexpected.  This is what I love about this job, that I never know what is going to happen.  After a relatively standard session, he brought me into the massive shower at 1763 and instructed me to touch myself while he sprayed me down with a hose.  At first the water was very cold, which was actually pretty enjoyable in a masochistic sort of way.

Having that cold water sprayed on me was such an incredible mix of experiences and sensations.  On one hand, it kind of reminded me of childhood revelry in the sprinkler, which allowed me to relax into the scene and enjoy it on another level than the average scene.  But on the other hand, the cold water was quite uncomfortable, and when he held it up close to me, the spray was pretty powerful.  And finally, being forced to touch myself while it was happening was the icing on the sensation cake.

When the water finally warmed up, it was like bath water soothing my whole body.  Then my Dom wrapped me in a towel and hugged me.  Such a nice session!

Then, to top off my great day, I got to see my karaoke buddies that night.  Highlights include Wesley Willis's "Rock N Roll McDonald's" and a Engrish version of "Don't Stop Believing".  It was amazingly awesome.  For my part I did "Cause I'm a Blonde", by Julie Brown and "I Get Around" by Tupac.  Yes, I know the words to several rap songs, giving people reasons to doubt my whiteness. Actually, no one would ever doubt my whiteness, but I do like to see people's reactions to me perfectly rapping "What's the Scenario", by Tribe Called Quest.

I am super excited!  A nice spreader bar is something that has been on my wishlist for forever now.  Today I found out that a client of mine is making me one out of wood for our session tomorrow! I love owning things that have stories behind them, especially handmade items.  My favorite flogger was made by my friend out of a candlestick holder and bicycle tire innertubes.  I can't wait to add this spreader to my collection.  Slightly giddy:)

I had one of the raunchiest photo shoots to date with my good friend and photographer RJ Sart, who has taken some of my favorite pictures of me.  The concept was a dirty, skeezy motel room with skeezy women doing skeezy things.  And, might I say, mission accomplished!  Here is a picture of me about to do a shoot in the nasty, rank shower (I've traveled through India and lived in a barn, and my tolerance for dirt, skuzz, and unhygenic surroundings that might make me sick is probably a lot higher than average).  Honestly, it's not the most flattering picture of me, but the shots where I'm actually posing turned out much sexier.

Highlights:

A daisy train

Threesome on the bed

A sloppy blowjob simulation

Answering the door to the pizza boy's surprise and bewilderment

Eating pizza naked on the bed with four very nice friends

A husband jumping in, making it an orgy

A latex glove left strewn on the floor

I could go on...and fyi most of the explicit sexual stuff was simulated (most...).  Lots of fun and a wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  Thank you those who participated with me, you know who you are.

So yesterday, for all those not in attendance, was 1763's Deviant Dommes party.  This party is dedicating to letting men come and meet the Dommes, Dom, and sub in a more relaxed atmosphere.  And as the resident submissive I get to have the Dominatrixes show off their skills on me.  A tough job, but I do what I can.  Here is the resulting wreckage of my ass.  Goddess Phoenix, one of the Head Mistresses of House of Domination, went to town with her dragon's tail, which, lucky me, is my personal favorite impact toy.  The scene put me in one of the deepest head spaces I've ever been in.  I had trouble completing sentences for a couple hours afterwards.

As a pro-sub, I deal with a lot of men, a fact that warrants no complaints from me.  However, I had forgotten the joys of subbing for a female Domme.  There is more care, nurturing, and a general frivolity that is only there under a woman's domination.  And I am sure it must be a different experience for them as well, although I've never asked them.  A different connection is almost always present between women, and when it is a kindred one, what a joy it is.  I remember when I was living in Cairo, I read a lot about life in harems, both fiction and nonfiction.  That is where I first began to experientially recognize and explore the bonds that women share when given a sacred space in which to share them, away from men.  And although many people in this culture do not see the harem as a sacred space, most of what I read about the female experience in the harem spoke to a different reality.  And my experience in segregated spaces there, rooms filled only with women, rooms where we would talk, and dance, and gossip, showed me a space of female connection that I had never experienced in this culture.  As a young woman in my early twenties, just at the end of my college experience, it was quite striking.  And I am brought back to that feeling in these rare moments of female connectedness, when the experience cannot in anyway be penetrated by men.  Funny how another woman beating my ass with a whip would be that catalyst, but there it is.

And men, believe me, I do love it when you beat my ass just as much, but just in a different way.  So don't stop, I'll show off your markings when I get them as well:)

So it has reached the middle of February.  The day of hearts and chocolates has come and gone.  That day has never meant much to me, and so was it for me this year.  I did seem to get a little more into the spirit of it, though.  I think it was the first time friends and me exchanged "Happy Valentines Day!" texts, which I found a little strange at first, but was also comforting.  I also received a few naughty Valentines Day presents from a patron of mine.  They haven't arrived yet, but they will be a welcome addition to my toy chest!  Remember guys, anything you buy me will earn you several pictures of me in it, if it is lingerie or clothing, or a free 15 minute performance live on cam or on a DVD if it is a toy!

I did go to Decadence at 1763 the Saturday before.  I have limited my really heavy play to once a month because I don't like to be marked up for my clients and cam friends.  But I hadn't played in over two months!  I really needed the crap beat out of me.  Luckily, two of my friends were there and were more than happy to oblige.  I had a nice flogging and whipping with one friend and a satisifying violet wand session from the other.  I should have taken pictures--I still have little marks from the electrified wartenburg wheel running over my body.   There were two newbie kinksters watching, which made it extra rewarding.  I always love being able to introduce people to kink.

In the next week or so I'm hoping to have a few super naughty photo sessions.  I've been talking about having a photo shoot with my bunny tail butt plug for a very long time now and I am determined to make it happen this week.  I'm hoping to have a male friend in the shot with me to make the photos extra sexy/raunchy.  Then this Saturday I will be having a shoot in a run down motel with a couple friends.  Again, I want it as raunchy as it can get.  I mean how else should a shoot be with three hot women in a dirty motel room?!

Uneventful week this week.  I had a wonderful shoot with the very talented Bob Orstedt as well as attending fellow House Domme Lola Bohemia's birthday party. Here is a picture of Lola's handiwork.  She painted a corset on my front.  I wish I had gotten a picture of my back, where she scripted the words Lola's Bitch--actually, maybe it's good I didn't get that in print:)

What a fun weekend.  Pictures, pictures, pictures!  On Saturday, I went to the Fetish Photography shoot.  I went out in my new corset, that I was so proud of wearing, and within five minutes the photographers asked me to take it off and shoot me topless.  I'm not sure how many people were there, probably fifty give or take.  Hopefully I'll have some good shots from it.  

Sunday I had a shoot with Zappastache and the wonderful Amazon Witch Doctor.  I was an innocent school girl being corrupted by Amazon.  We staged out in the woods on a picnic bench, which was actually pretty hot.  It ended with me tied up and bent over the table while Amazon flogged and paddled me.  We did a second shoot with me suspended in rope from a tree. Hopefully i will have some pictures from some of the shoots up soon!

Went to 1763 Decadence party and what amazing fun it was.  i got to do a lot of playing, I feel so lucky to be doing a job that I enjoy so much.   I was suspended, got to play with the violet wand, and then got a pretty good flogging.  

I went to 1763's Deviant Dommes party last night.  It was a smaller affair, but I enjoyed the intimacy and getting to know the different people who showed up.  I had not had a lot of experience with caning and whipping, so I asked Mistress Whip if she would do that for me.  And she was happy to oblige.  

I straddled the bench for her and she proceeded to give me a good caning, while giving another Domme some tips on technique.  At first I didn't know if I could handle it, the stinging on my bottom, and I had the urge to say "yellow" after a few of the harder strokes.  But the funny thing is that after a while, as she worked over me with lighter strokes, I would crave those harder stings.  Funny the juxtaposition of pain and yearning.

After that, Goddess Phoenix worked me over with a dragon's tail.  Apparently, my bottom can stand a lot of lashes, and I have the markings to prove it.  Hopefully I will have pictures up soon.  Mistress Whip had me go look at myself in the mirror, but the lighting was dim and the full extent of my markings did not reveal myself until I got home.  I love them, they are like a badge of honor that I carry with me underneath my clothes.