KittyKajira


kitty4amaster Female Submissive, 37, Dallas, Texas	kittysub4MASTE Female Submissive, 18, Houston, Texas	kittypawz27 Female Submissive, 28, San Jose, California

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	About KittyKajira I recently have gotten back on here to update everyone who knows me as to what has been going on. I have found a love. I am not looking as of now, and hopefully, I won't have to look ever again. I will leave my profile up for my friends to continue to contact me. I am posting some most recent photos of myself too. If this relationship works out properly within the next 3 months, I will be removing my profile from this site. So, friends, please get in contact with me so we can figure out ways to stay in touch. ~kitty~ *WARNING* Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects, you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile, pictures, or other materials posted on this site (including discussion thread posts, and blogs) in any form or forum, both current and future. If you have, or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a notice similar to this or you may copy and paste this one to your profile. *WARNING*

adding just a few couple a pics today. let me know what you think.

oh, great. now i find myself single, once again. my "vanilla" relationship turned out to be a weird love triangle. it was emotionally costing. i had to move back in with my mother. i wish he could have been truthful about loving me. he doesnt know what he wants. im lonely now, no one to curl up next to... no one to bite. nothing. i need a good partner. long term. someone who will love me forever. death does NOT kill love. it just stops carnal pleasures. ~kitty~

okay, im super happy today. FINALLY! im getting out of my mothers house and moving in with my fiance. yes, he is vanilla. he is a kinkster and finds the bdsm lifestyle just wrong... so im hoping i will last in this relationship. so, in this case, please dont try to tempt me back to this lifestyle. when i start feeling empty, i will come back. that is, if i ever DO start feeling empty and the need for my old lifestyle. ~kitty~

okay, i feel i need to REALLY update my journal. i am currently engaged to a vanilla. but he is awefully sweet. and not to the point of wanting to humiliate him. just sweet... anyways, my b-day is coming up on the 24th! yay me! ill be 22. as of right now, im extremely sick with the flu. but im getting better. id still like to hear from some of my old friends. especially Varuke. dont know why, i just feel the need to talk with him. im glad his court day went good. and foxy, i feel for you. im sorry your going through all that pain. anyways, this is all i can really say right now. byes! ~kitty~

well, im not angry today, which i guess is good. im just mainly confused today. did you ever want something that you know is bad for you? especially when already have that "something" that might be good for you?
well, anyways, i dont understand why, but ive been waking up to sweet dreams of vampires. and NO i never watched twilight or even care in the least about them. but , anyways, so yeah, more crazy vampire dreams. more and more vampire actions coming out of me as this year progresses. i woke up this morning, freaking out, hissing at my pillow, biting on it, then threw it across the room. somehow, i ended up on the floor when i awoke. i was sleeping in my bed... but for some weird ass reason, i woke up on my floor... but not beside my bed even... all the way on the other side of my room. the part where i keep my tv. crazy..... ~kitty~
p.s. please do not message me negative comments. i truely dont have time for that shit. nor would i want to.

The only kind of slut you are is a fucking whore .. you are not a pain slut you are a whore who needs to be beat until she learns some manners. And then once you learn some manners you need to go back to school and learn how to write a decent profile ...
that right there is what one of the people on here told me. whatup1968- yeah that's his screen name. he can be very cocky, so women; be carefull when talking to him.

please, im extremely sensative and and emotionally fucked up today. just dont bother me unless its TOTALLY necessary. ~kitty~

okay... i woke up happy today, until my "Master told me he could never love me, that is-if he ever did-more than a friend... WTF! im not some casual fuck toy. i may enjoy being a slave/pet, and im not the jealous type. i need to feel love. im not asking for a boyfriend... i just think that the fact that i actually put all my trust, love, and life in his hands; the least he could do IS love me; more than a friend of course. i feel i am moving on. i do not enjoy being a "friend" instead of a pet/slave.fuck this shit... P.S- if your only gonna bitch at me; you know who you are-just because of my journal entries, dont fucking bother me. thats all i need right. and 2ndly if you find my life to seem shitty, well i WILL tell you, it can be. everyone has problems, i just choose to vent them on my journal- i wish people could remember what a journal was. its like a diary to me. i put all my happy moments in it. i put my sad feelings into it. so please dont send me message about "if you dont want random messages from strangers who read it, dont write any shit in it". well i fail to see how this makes any sense. i mean, a journal is a journal. period. you dont have to judge me soo harshly because of my feelings. so fuck off ass hole. ~kitty~

ok, um... im sorta confused as of right now. i love my Master horribly, but yet i feel as if he couldnt care less about me. i mean, he tries. its just... i dont know... im just feeling kinda hurt right now. i wish i only knew how he really feels about me. as of right now, hes "fond of me"... this drives me nuts. i put all my love, trust and honesty out in the open for him... but he doesnt really care. i know that he has some issues. but if he keeps this carelessness up, i might leave. no questions asked... ~kitty~

YAY!!!! im NOT pregnant. i was soo afraid.

i sincerely feel as though i have no friends. as if i am invisble to the world. the only time when people "notice" me is because they want to get in my pants, they wanna play mind games, they want to pretend to be a friend so they can share all my private ideas and thoughts with everyone else. why cant i just have a caring and loving person in my life? i have a caring person. i have a loving person. i just wish i could find a friend with BOTH qualities. is that soo much to ask? someone i could talk to. someone i can be totally open with, without being judged or laughed at. where is this "friend"?? ~kitty~

GRRR... i just woke up, and the second I stepped into the kitchen, I get a long ass lecture from mother and her boyfriend. "Your fucked up!" "You don't know what your doing!" "Why can't you be normal?" "You NEED a man to support you!"
First and foremost, I need NO man to make me happy. They are good to have fun with, and maybe one day I will settle down with one. But men are never a neccessity, unless it's your Master.
I wish to one day stand on my own two feet and be able to buy my own stuff. I mean, of course being pampered is nice, but I've been pampered my whole life. It can get boring. It kept me in a bubble to the point where I became too naive. I believed everything I was told, and trusted people who I shouldn't have.
It is now MY time to shine. Why can't they accept that? They bitch because I have no job, yet if I do get a job, they bitch because me having a job effects how much the rent is and the loss of our foodstamps...WTF!
I'm tired of these fucked up games. They fuck with my mind and wonder why I NEED my anti-depressants! I just want to pack my necessities and never come back. I want to be as far as possible from them so I can clean all this negativity from my mind, body and soul.
I hate to argue. It makes my bp go sky high, but because I'm still stuck with them, well there's no avoiding that problem.
All they ever do is make me feel like a fuck up, make upset, make me scream, or make me cry. It truely IS toxic enviroment, just like my old shrink told me. I NEED to get away, or I'll go over the edge again and try to kill myself. I just wanna disappear right now... ~kitty~

I had the chance to hang out with someone off this site. His profile name is regent night. He does build everything he says that he builds. He's really good with his hands. Take that however you want to... But anyways, his pet is very nice. No signs of jealousy from her at all, and she's very pretty too.
I don't really know why, but I find myself attracted to him, yet he seems soo dominant that I'm kinda feel afraid to show it in his presence. I almost felt on edge Thursday and Friday. I felt like I had no clue on what to do around him. I was almost afraid to do anything around him. I don't get the feeling that he likes me in anyway, so I'm pretty much clueless on the way I should have acted. I kinda feel stupid too, I wasn't and am still not sure how I should have addressed him. Now I kinda feel bad because not a single *Sir came out of my mouth the whole time I was hanging out with him and his pet. I pretty much didnt know how I should have acted around him, or even what he expected of me...I guess I might not have acted properly, I'm not sure. I wish I had a guide on "How to Navigate Regents Mind" He's soo dominating. It makes you want to jump his bones, yet it scares to the point of just staying seated and not moving from fear that you might be doing something wrong. ~kitty~

honestly, i think i have an old spirit. but i act soo immature sometimes, you would never know. i have finally met another dragon...the first dragon i know(you know who you are) i hope you read this. lol anyways, i have realized, not all dragons are the same. well in some ways anyways. the first dragon i ever met had a silver tongue and a dominant stare that could melt you down to the point of wanting to do anything for him. but, he also had a bad habit of using that power to get whatever it is he wanted sexually. and the most recent dragon that i have met... well he seems a bit more careing. but hes still very arrogant like the first one. but anyways, i think i might actually invest my time and solice into this new dragon. dont get me wrong, the old dragon was a wonderful fuck buddy, but he doesnt have emotional bondage to anyone but himself, or so he makes it seem. and this recently met dragon has a much more loving side to him, but only for the ones he actually cares about. which makes me think; did that first dragon i know actually care about me, ever?? he probably didnt, but as of right now, i could truely care less. but i do suppose he does deserve the respect that i give to all men. and i will continue to talk to him as a friend. ~kitty~

why do i hate people who use other people for their sick little pleasures, yet i allow someone to use me. i crave it. but only from him. i dont "love" him. i do care about him though. i do not know why... maybe its because he was my first experience into this type of a lifstyle when i was 15. i wish i knew why i allow it. i hate myself for allowing it, yet i cant seem to deny him. i really dont want to deny him. yet i do want to for my own self respect. what is wrong with me? i am sooo fucked in the head right now... ~kitty~

i have recently been thinking alot about starting to tight lacing. i love corsets to death and i do have chronic back problems, so in a way, it would be good. i also would enjoy getting a cute little hourglass figure even more than i already have. more defined is my point. but there is no way i would go to the extreme. i do not find that appealing at all. it looks worse than anorexia to me personally. i just want a more curvy body. ~kitty~

grrr... im confused. my mind wants something my heart doesnt want and my heart wants something my mind doesnt want. i try to follow my heart at all times, but this one, is a bit more complicated than anything i have ever come across... i wish i knew what to do.
~kitty~

well, i have noticed something within the past 2 months. my eyes have opened a little more now. i can see auras more often then not. i do believe i am on the verge of a great transformation. i can feel it growing within me, but i am unsure as to what it is. is it dark? is it light? is it helpful or harmful? i do wish i knew. as of right now, only time can tell. ~kitty~

i just thought about it, but i realized that this is truely the only place i keep a journal. truely, that must count for something. this is the only place that i feel i can be myself without cruel judgement passed upon me. why do we as humans fear that which we do not know? i guess thats the question for today. i could never say i do not fear. every human carries fear somewhere in their heart. im not sure if the Sir that i talked to last nite was playing a mental game with me, or truely wants me. men who try to get me to get them off the first time i talk to them do tend to make me nervous. he does speak sweetly to me. but any smart man would just to get into a slaves pants. am i not right? ~kitty~

I am feeling a bit better today. Still feeling a bit manipulated, but better. Maybe it is better to get to know someone before judging them on what other people have told you about that person. He is actually a very loving and caring man. I do not see any reason as to why they hate him so. He has become my friend, no questions asked. No "tests" needed. That's all I ever really needed in the end; a friend. A true friend, who I can trust. ~kitty~

kitty is upset again. kitty feels like crying... why does every dom think He has the right to play mind games with kitty. mind games are NOT nice. this is why kitty used to be suicidal. kitty just wants to be loved, by a Master who understands that kitty is human. that kitty has emotions. that kitty does cry. ~kitty~

Why do you always make me feel like melted butter when you stare at me or touch me? It feels as if my soul screams out in lust, everytime I notice you pass me by. I feel so clingy and attached to you. I know that that is not right, and I have not felt like this in a LONG time. Kitty will always want you, even if there are no openings as of right now. ~kitty~

ok, fukin crazy as bitch who hacked my cm and yahoo account has started alot of shit. i finally got my old account Athyrial back. oh this is a message she sent me...:Ive changed it back to your original password. If you mess with me again I will put out this information everywhere on the internet.

and the stuff below here was all my private information. which first of all she has to be fukin stupid to believe that all that info is true. i never post any of my info anywhere. believe that...

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KittyKajira

About KittyKajira