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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Submissive, 49,  London, United Kingdom
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jozz - submissive

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Re-write - 23/02/14
A Hedonist, a 'little' (but not an age player), a submissive with masochistic tendencies and a leaning towards 'edgeplay'. Based in South East London.

Firstly, what I'm NOT into: Spanking, humiliation/degradation, underage play (of any kind), animals, Gor, younger men, cyber sex/play, scat or death (in any of it's forms). I will also NOT call you sir/master/uberdom/lordmasteroftheuniverse. If you deserve a title, it will become apparent. I don't need your instruction.
Still reading? . . Brave man, I like that ;-)
I've been actively involved in BDSM for around 10 years now, some good experiences, some bad. I've been told that I'm bratty, sarcastic, loyal, loving, challenging and "THE most frustrating woman I've ever met" amongst a few other things.
I've never lost touch with my inner child, in fact it still has a few tantrums. I have little to no short term memory and no impulse control. Which means trust is paramount to me, as I don't always know when it's in my best interests to stop. I'm a grandma, my family are incredibly important to me and will always come first. Especially my dear old mum, who lives close to me and needs me more than ever now that Dad has gone. I have a quick and sharp sense of humour, that doesn't always translate well in type. . Bear in mind that I'm usually laughing, often at myself. I work on the Trusseduk stall at the London Fetish Fair, so am easily verified. Pop by and say hi if you ever get along, I'm very approachable . . If I like you, you might even get a discount ;-) I'm devious and mischievous and will try and talk my way out of most situations. I push myself, hard and am my own worse critic.
I have multiple facet spinal arthritis and disc degeneration, along with severe nerve pain, which is causing me lots of pain and some mobility problems. That said, it doesn't mean that I can't get out and about or perform a majority of tasks, but if you want me bent over touching my toes for more than a few minutes, then we have a problem. I have also been diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder, which basically means I don't always see the world in the same light as others do. (Don't pre - judge, ask me. I have no secrets) I have tattoos, I smoke, I drink, I swear, fart and snore. I'm a real person (in my own right). p.s. I have no desire whatsoever to help you get a passport!












 Submissive Female


 United Kingdom

 5' 7"

 200 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Friends Only




 Breast Play








 Bar Hopping (Expert)


 Bird Watching

 Coffee Shops

 Fine Dining

 Going to the Opera



 Musical Theater


 Local BDSM Community


 Hair Pulling

 Sensory Deprivation


 Body Art

 Intellectual Discourse


 Alternative Music

 Blue Grass


 Classical Music


 Heavy Metal Music

 Opera Music

 Punk Rock Music



 Rock Music

 Curious About:

 Anal Play

 Canes and Crops


 Corner Time


 Electrical Play


 Eye Contact Restrictions


 Knife Play

 Medical Play

 Mental Bondage

 Needle Play

 Obedience Training


 Speech Restrictions

 Vacuum Stimulation

 Wax play


 Pony/Puppy Roleplay




 Romance Novels

 Gorean Lifestyle

 Hard Limits:

 Shopping (Expert)


 Housework Service


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Journal Entries:
3/11/2014 3:55:10 PM

I'm not sure if I've cracked a chest rib or pulled a muscle, either way, it hurts like hell. The minions will have to finish the decorating!

3/8/2014 1:34:08 PM

Sorry I've not been around much, but to be honest, I just couldn't be bothered!

If you've mailed me, I promise I'll get back to you some time next week. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye . . . Ok, maybe not the needle in the eye bit but you get my drift.

As usual, I will be on the stall at the London Fetish Fair tomorrow. Do come and say hi, we're all very approachable. I'm the one with big tits that's laughs a lot, loudly!

2/27/2014 5:24:10 AM

Awww bless, seems I've shattered the oh so fragile ego of a 25 year old 'master'! Naughty, naughty Jozz. I shall no sit quietly and contemplate the actions that got me blocked . . . NOT!


Still chuckling, who's next? I'm bang on form today ;)

2/24/2014 6:50:14 AM

All I seem to read on profiles/journals these days is "Everyone's a fake/scammer/nutter, I'm leaving this site forever" . . . . . It's like the adult version of "I'm running away" lol

2/23/2014 7:24:07 AM

Cross posted from my journal on another site . . . 


I like pain . . Well, what I mean is, I like the effects of pain. I don't like the actual pain itself.

I am highly competitive with myself! I push myself. I love it when I can go that little bit further and I'm always disappointed that I couldn't go a little bit more. Iadore that questioning glint in your eyes and that knowing smile that says "You wanna go on?". I fucking hate it if it's me that calls stop, sometimes I'll even change my mind to see if you'll try and stop me.

You see, I have no impulse control. I don't always know when I've had enough of something from alcohol to being throttled so violently that even my partner thought I was dead. Bastard never called the paramedics though, it' not funny, but I'm laughing. It was a dangerous relationship, very dangerous, but I knew exactly what I was doing. This isn't a shaming post!
You could be fist fucking me, I'd still want more. I'd want nipple clamps and arse fucking at the same time. Indulge me with breathplay, sometimes I'll fight it and struggle, at others I'll tell you first "Don't let go til you see my eyes roll back in my head". There are some 'pains' I can't take. Needles in my cunt is one of them, that'll bring me out in a severe case of headbutting. Seriously, that's fight or flight for me and it's easier for me to take you down than run lol on the other, I'll take them in my tits all night. You can batter my back, I struggle with stingy but, I'll give it my best shot. Can't take anything on my arse, I only have half an arse to start with. An accident left me with a fist sized hole in the right cheek muscle.
I'm hypersensitive to touch, all over. A play partner once told me that I was the most responsive partner he'd ever played with, which was nice.

Back to the pain. Pain makes me feel alive. It let's me forget how dire my life really is aand please don't comment telling me it's better. Because it isn't laughs it really isn't. There is so much that I don't tell. There's nothing can be done, so there's no point. Anyway, pain! It brings me alive, I feel like a different person. It makes me invincible, just like my many battle scars. The signs of a life lived, of a life survived. As impervious to the world as my headphones and sunglasses (they make you invisible, did you know that?) make me to the general public. If they can't see you (sunglasses) and you can't hear them (headphones) then they don't exist. Ta dah! Job done. Pain let's me forget all that shit, it let's happier memories into my head. Pain let's me be at peace with myself. Those are rare and wonderful moments for me and I cherish them all, whether we're still friends or not. I think I remember all my firsts. First bullwhip, sjambok, cat, thuddy flogger, fisting, needles and chains. I'm grinning, happy memories.

I miss the pain. I don't tend to play unless I'm in a relationship. I'll take the odd back flogging/whiping now and then, just to sate the immediate need, but I don't consider that playing. Not proper play, I'm greedy. I want it to be a several hour sessions with (fag/toilet/drink) breaks. I'm expecting chains and whips and needles and clamps and floggers and fucking, don't forget the fucking, but only with partners. I don't fuck play partners. For a hedonistic slut, I'm quite discerning.

My need at the moment is quite strong. I'm officially a born again virgin this week. It's been a year since I had sex and a decent session. I'm gonna have to resort to doing it myself . . . but it's just not the same.


2/23/2014 3:11:55 AM

I've found a new hard limit . . . . Spitting! Non negotiable!

2/6/2014 3:12:12 PM

LONDON FETISH FAIR this weekend. I'll be on the stall, as usual. Pop bye and say hi, tell me you're from here and I'll give you a 10% discount (apart from on jewellery).

Hopefully see you there.

1/31/2014 3:49:14 AM

Thank you to the Dom I met at the weekend, who told me . . 

"You're exactly the same in real life as you are online"

WYSIWYG . . That's me :)

1/25/2014 1:33:11 AM

I'm out of here for now. If you come along to Kink In Carlisle, pop by the Metal Monkey stall (that's me) and say hi :)

As for the rest of you. I'll be back late Monday afternoon sometime.

1/24/2014 4:21:39 AM

I won my first cage fight last night!!!



The budgie never knew what hit it ;)

1/24/2014 2:02:13 AM


This month, Kink In Carlisle is going pink in aid of Breast Cancer awareness. There will be a range of pink items for auction, all donated by the traders. From floggers and paddles, to jewellery, collars, butt plugs and dildos, some of which can be seen here - https://.com/users/2659222/pictures

There will also be a rope bondage demo, along with a session on self bondage.

Hopefully see some of you there. I will, as usual, be running the Metal Monkey stall . . . Despite being at deaths door :(( 

I'm ill, someone come look after me . . . Please?

1/20/2014 6:23:00 AM

Evidently, I have 60 'Admirers' . . . . I don't know what that means.

Is it people who read your journal? . . If it is, fair play to you lot, cos I really do post a complete load of old tripe at times :)

1/19/2014 3:11:35 AM

Back in South East London.

The Millwall benefit night for my friend who has terminal cancer, exceeded all wishes. Over £3,000 raised to help him do his bucket list.

I'm now having a day off! )I was up at 5am yesterday to be back in London in time) So today, I'm staying in bed, smoking weed and wanking.


Normal service will be resumed shortly ;)

1/14/2014 3:06:57 PM

I'm currently in Gloucester and will be til the weekend. Back in London on Saturday but have a busy weekend booked. I'll update and answer mail as and when I'm able to.

1/9/2014 10:05:35 AM

London Fetish Fair this weekend at the new venue in Vauxhall. . . who's going? I am :D you can find me on the stall. Come by and say hi.

1/8/2014 12:18:31 PM

High time I did something constructive . . . think I'll have a nap 

12/15/2013 2:56:43 PM

Still Feeling Lost.

A crossroads or a new path in life? I don't know what I want anymore. I've lost faith in myself, everything has been thrown into doubt.

Like a lot of others, when I discovered BDSM, I was like a kid in a sweet shop! I wanted to try everything, I'm still a bit like that. I'm what my friend calls a 'sensation junkie'. At first, I identified myself as a switch, because I never thought I could give up that amount of control. As my experience grew, I identified as a sub and up until the last few days, that's what I've been for the last few years.

I've had more than my fair share of unsuitable relationships, that I gave my all to, because I wanted them to work. Even when it was obvious they were never gonna last. The only constant in those failed relationships is . . ME!

SO what the fuck am I doing wrong? AM I trying to be something I'm not? Am I really a sub? I'm definitely not a Dom! Hell, I couldn't even switch. So what the fuck am I?

I'm a hedonist. I'm a masochist. I'm a kinkster. I'm a brat. I'm a sensation junkie. Pain makes me wet. As does fear. Nothing turns me on more than fear and taking risks.

I don't know who I am anymore.

I don't know what I want.

I am so fucking lost!

12/5/2013 12:24:34 PM

I'm Not Submissive . . Am I?

I have an opinion (on most things) and am not afraid to state them; So I can't be submissive, can I?

I'm a masochist and a sadistic bitch too; So I can't be submissive, can I?

I'll question your motives and not call you Sir; So I can't be submissive, can I?

I'll poke fun and I'll laugh, whether I'm right or I'm wrong; So I can't be submissive, can I?

I'm a hedonist, I'll forget rules and get caught up in the moment; So I can't be submissive,can I?

I'm an adult, I'm a little, I'm something in the middle. A sadomasochistic, playful hedonist; SO I can be submissive too, can't I?

12/5/2013 7:03:13 AM

Teacher asks her class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

Maisie stands up and says "Alligator."..."Very good that's a big word."

Next is Hector "Predator..that's what mummy calls our dog."..."Excellent that's amazing."

Then it's little Reggies turn "Vibrator Miss.".... After spitting a mouthful of coffee all over the desk, she said "Erm Reg that's a massive word, but it doesnt eat anything."..

"Well Miss my mums got one and she said on the phone to me nan it eats fuckin duracells like there's no tomorrow!"

11/30/2013 7:04:39 AM

Time to get creative and make some more jewellery in time for the London Fetish Fair next weekend.

11/27/2013 1:46:33 AM

I'm off to play with a vulnerable, personality free brain. Gotta love the Job Centre Plus staff *rolls eyes*


Have a great day everyone. Celebrate . . . You woke up today :)

10/31/2013 8:22:12 AM

Back Here On Planet Earth. . . 

I move in polite circles, yes, nearly all of them are kinky or football related (bit of a crossover at some points) but under no circumstances is it ok, in any of those circles to message random females and tell them that you want to rape them!!!

What The Fuck??

Seriously dude . . Not OK! Now if I was in a committed relationship, with someone I trusted with my life, then . . yeah! (Even though I am a survivor of rape) but to randomly message me and tell me that you want to "ruin" all of my "pretty pink holes" and "Would love to rape" me, then that, is seriously fucked up and creepy! I am so glad we live on opposite sides of the world!

10/19/2013 7:57:08 AM



I will be trading at Kink In Carlisle tomorrow on the Metal Monkey stall. First stall you get to on entering the fair.

 BDSM/ Market & After Party hosted by Dragon George of Exodus fame.

Wonderful onsite carvery, plush surroundings and reasonably priced rooms for those staying overnight. Just tell them at the desk that you're with the market and you'll get special room rates.

What's not to like?



10/11/2013 4:24:06 AM

Oh Woe Is Me - I Have Been Deemed Unworthy!

I'm lying about the "Oh Woe Is Me" bit. I seem to have been inundated of late with mail from "Experienced cyber/online Doms". How do you get 'experienced' at that, read 50 Shades Of Birmingham? (It's a real book!

 ) I don't get it, I really don't. As part of a real life relationship, then yes, but just online?

Anyway, back to the mail. It would seem that my "Fuck off and get a life" responses have not been well received and I have been deemed unworthy as a sub! My point blank refusal to call anyone Master/Sir/UberDom/LordoftheUniverse has resulted in some rather fragile egos being shattered. . . Evil, nasty subby type person that I am ;)

Now, although I don't feel the need to justify myself to anyone, I'd just like to say that I've been in this lifestyle (for want of a better term) for a few years now. I'm quite a well known face in some circles, yes, I actually go out and meet people in real life! How scary is that? I've played in public and at private parties and I don't, generally speaking, do 'pretty play'. I need pain, real blood, sweat, snot and tears pain. I play with knives and needles. Fuck, I tattoo myself for fun! I will push myself to my limits . . and then take just that little bit more, just to hear the pride in your voice when you say "Good girl, well done". To know that you're proud of me, that I have pleased you is enough for me. 

So no, I don't 'do' online and I don't do it, because I haven't met you! I haven't got the feel of you. I have smelled you and more to the point, there's NOTHING you have that I need. I know what I need, I know what I want . . and it's not You! Thanks for the offer and all that, but you can move along now and stop talking about yourself in the third person, it just makes you sound an even bigger prick!

Rant over :D Happy Friday everyone. The weekend is in sight. Let's parrrrrtyyyyy!


9/30/2013 5:20:58 AM

Kink In Carlisle - Kink In Carlisle

I will be trading at

 BDSM/Fetish party & After Party on 20th October. Market from 12 - 6 After Party with dungeon furniture by the legendary Dragon George from 6.30.

Onsite carvery from £5.95 and reasonably priced rooms for those wishing to stay overnight.

9/30/2013 5:12:07 AM

I had the pleasure, twice in 4 days, of meeting up with two people that I have been speaking to online for over 5 years.

The first at the Worthing Munch. A thoroughly pleasant gentleman with smiling eyes and a wonderfully kinky mind. 

The second, took me out to lunch yesterday and I have never known 2 hours to go so quickly. I look forward to talking with him again.

Life's certainly busy lately #feeling good.

8/21/2013 4:36:07 AM
Woop Woop! Iniquity free market this Sunday in Poole, Dorset. If you're about, pop along to the TrussedUK stall and say hi :)

8/15/2013 5:33:06 AM

Dad was in a bad way when I got back to London. I was shocked at how quickly he'd deteriorated, I hadn't been gone that long. A couple of really rough, undignified couple of days followed.

Mum was exhausted, I told her to have a day off, that I would visit (as I had been every day) and she reluctantly agreed. I was shocked to see Dad in bed when I got there, he hadn't been in the bed since the first night he went in, 7.5 weeks ago. He was slumped against the side rail and clutching at his side in pain. His voice was a rasp. I got him some Oramorph and some ice chips. He took the medicine for me like a small child, the nurses hadn't been able to get him to take his meds for 2 days. He let me feed him ice chips, hand to mouth and after a while was able to talk. I sat him up and continued with the ice chips, he told me "just keep them coming" he had 3 cup fulls before he'd had enough. We chatted about my younger brother finally getting engaged, Dad was over the moon about it and we chatted amiably. He refused his dinner but said "Mmmm that'd be good" when I offered to get him an ice lolly, he enjoyed it so much that i went and got him another one. Wiping his chin and neck as it dribbled down.

The nurse came round with the drug trolley and again, he took his meds for me and I jokingly told him he was a "good boy". He smiled his cheeky grin at me and the nurse thanked me for getting him to take them and moved on. I helped Dad move his heavily bandaged legs over the side of the bed as he told me "I want to move, but don't know where to" . . . "It's a bloody hot day Dad" and it was, the hottest day of the year so far. The 1st of August, the day my gran (Dad's mum)had died and also that of my aunt, Dad's sister in law. I sat with Dad til 7pm then told him I was going to put his legs back in bed and put the side back up as it was time for me to go. Meek as a lamb, he just nodded in agreement. As I got his legs on the bed, I noticed and small black patch about the size of a 50 pence piece on his foot. I didn't mention it to Dad, just settled him back in bed and put the side up. I asked if there was anything else he wanted before I left and he shook his head and thanked me for visiting. I kissed him on the forehead, as I always do and said "I love you Pops, bye". As I got to the end of his bed he said "Been a good day". I smiled back at him and replied "yeah, it has been a good day hasn't it?" and put my thumbs up "I'll see you tomorrow Pops" he just smiled, nodded and gave me a thumbs up.

I called mum when I left and told her about our day and mentioned the black spot, so she could chase it up the next day. I never saw Dad again. The nurses called mum just before midnight and said he was taking a turn for the worse. By the time Mum got there, he'd gone. It was quick and peaceful in the end. They'd put a nebuliser on him and when they went to check on him, he'd gone. I'm sorry that mum never got to see him, but I firmly believe that he was at peace with himself. He'd fought long and hard and he'd just had enough.

Everything is a bit of a blur from there. I howled, literally, when I was told he'd gone, for how long I'm not sure, but I know I got myself together and went straight to mum. I helped mum arrange the funeral, big brother managed to fuck off and leave us to it all, nice one bruv! Fucking dick! We had one hymn and a couple of readings that mum wanted. All Dad had specified in his funeral plan was, No black (unless you want to) No family to carry the coffin and No flowers (except from immediate family) he wanted donations for the British Heart Foundation (we've had over 200 quids worth so far!). The following days were spent supporting mum and my kids. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find the words for the 'Tribute' I as to read at the funeral.

The morning of the funeral arrived and finally, I managed to find some words but they didn't come close (in my mind) to capturing the essence of my Dad. A perfect gentleman, who walked on the outside, held doors open and never swore in front of women and children. The eternal big kid, taking great pleasure in teasing the grandchildren. Who poked his tongue out at my mum's back and chuckled when she told him off. I had to travel back from Worthing as I'd been to a friends wonderful burlesque wedding the day before. Fortunately I wasn't travelling alone, as I had my friends Spiral and Toria with me, both of who have been wonderful support for me throughout.

I went straight to mum's, Dad's brother was already there, along with my niece, nephew, brothers, cousins. It was a busy house, I held my mum for a long time, she couldn't speak from the lump in her throat, tears in both our eyes, we gave each other weak smiles and just nodded. There was no need for words, we knew how each other was feeling. Before I knew it, Dad was there, a simple spray of white flowers on his coffin. I shook hands with the funeral director Emma, who was lovely (a trapeze artist in her spare time) and she opened the back of the hearse to put in a pillow of flowers from my nephew and his wife. I laid a single red rose on the coffin and and stroked the wood as I spoke to Dad. I still don't know what I said. The time came for us to leave, I sat in the back with mum, we held hands all the way there. My uncle talked the whole time and all I could think was "Please Ian, shut the fuck up!!"

As we pulled into the crematorium we saw all the people. So many people! People from times long passed, their neighbours had turned out in force. It was overwhelming to see the support. Faces I hadn't seen in years! Old neighbours, people from church, people I'd not seen since I was a teenager and my friend Toria, there to support me.

As we followed to coffin into the chapel, I walked in on my sons arm. He'd worn his suit and tie out of respect. As the service went on and it came closer to the time I had to read my tribute, the more distressed I was becoming. The grandchildren all went up and placed single stem roses on the coffin, pink from the girls, yellow from the boys.
My niece stood up first and read the poem she'd written for him and I smiled encouragement at her when she stumbled, my elder brother at her side giving her strength (see, he does have his uses). Then it was my turn, mum looked at me questioningly, I just nodded and got to my feet. Again, my son offered me his arm and I gratefully accepted. I felt like I was walking through molasses. I looked once at the packed seats, I couldn't make eye contact. I could see my younger brother openly weeping and that choked me. I took a deep breath and was shocked at the strength of my voice. I'm told that I made people laugh. I just know that I got through it and only faltered over the last words. Back in our seats, it came the time for the committal. That was our undoing, all of us fell to bits. I held my son as he sobbed, then turned to cuddle my girls as they too sobbed and the rest of the family went over to my younger brother's wheelchair. He never cries. He was in bits.

Outside, we shook hands and thanked people for coming. My friend Toria at my side giving me strength, I introduced her to people she hadn't already met. My son hovering close by in case I needed him, both my girls at my side. We got back in the cars and went off to the last pub I'd worked in for the wake. Sandra, the new manager, had done us proud with the food, it was a lovely spread. I wanted to get drunk, but held back cos I knew mum wouldn't approve. We drank, we talked, we ate, we reminisced. It was how Dad would have wanted it. I stayed til the bitter end, my eldest at my side.

All things considered . . . Been a good day Dad.

I will miss you forever. I'm so lucky that I had you for so long, it was a privilege to be your daughter and I have a wealth of happy memories to draw comfort from.


Sleep well Pops, you've earned it.

7/30/2013 3:54:55 AM

The Last Goodbye . . .


I'm going back to London today. I feel sick, I still have to pack.

I've done this journey half a dozen times already this summer and more times this year than I care to remember.

My Dad is dying, slowly and painfully and it's killing me watching him disappear. I've said "Goodbye" to him so many times this year.

Those of you who know me and some from my writing, Dad's been ill for a long time. He was diagnosed with Emphysema over 20 years ago and has far surpassed the Dr's expectations of how long he would live. He was rushed in to hospital over 7 weeks ago now. On top of the Emphysema, he has double Pneumonia, which is proving very hard to kill. He has Dry Macular eye disease and can hardly see now and he wears two hearing aids. He has an enlarged heart due to the pressure of his lungs. He has an abnormality on his liver, his kidneys aren't working properly, so they have reduced some of his medication to relieve the pressure on them. As a result, he has huge water blisters on his legs, which are now heavily bandaged as they've become infected. He has an impacted bowel and is having daily enemas, the indignity of which is not doing much for his mental health or morale. He has the most awful Thrush in his mouth (a result of the anti-biotics) and has horrible pressure sores from where he's been sat in the same chair for his whole stay. He doesn't get in bed, so he just dozes in the chair all the time.

It's only been about 10 days since I last saw him. My eldest called me Sunday and said "Mum, you know That phone call you gave me (& brother & sister) not long ago? Well, it's my turn to do it for you" . . . and now I'm crying again, but I need to get this out of my head before I go.
She said she didn't recognise him and she'd only seen him the day before. She's been a star looking after mum while I've been here (Worthing) even went to church with mum. She's been in to see her Gramps more times than either of my brothers have, but she's had to go home to sort out her own stuff now.

I need to be there, not just to give mum support, but to say Goodbye again to my Dad. My hero. I have so many good memories of him. Swimming in the sea when I was little, almost like photographs in my head and mini video clips. Making sandcastles on the beach at Herne Bay. Getting stuck up scaffolding because the security dogs were after us when I went in to work with him one weekend. Drinking with him when I was older. Mum bringing our dinners to the pub one Sunday because we were late home. Him being there and holding me when my husband died. I've always been a Daddy's girl. Strong, silent, dependable. That's my Dad!

He's suffered for long enough, he doesn't have the fight in him anymore, he's had enough. I don't want him to go but I don't want him to suffer anymore. He's still there, still has a sense of humour. He said the other day that there had been an orgy in the ward the night before. My brother laughed and asked if he'd joined in, he replied "Nah, not my bag" with a twinkle in his eye. His work mates always called him "3 in a bed Palmer" which used to drive my mum nuts, he used to work away a lot when they were first married and when us kids were little.

It's time to remember the laughter. We laugh a lot as a family, we bounce off each other. Laughter has always been a constant with our family but there are dark days ahead, with lots of tears. It's going to be so hard! deep breath Joo

So today, in a couple of hours, I shall be getting the train 'home'. To the flat I hate, that doesn't even feel like home anymore. I'm going to be with my family. To be with my mum. The last time I say I'm going to see mum & Dad. My last Goodbye.

I love you Dad. You're always in my head. You have taught me so much. Standards that I live my life by. Qualities that I look for in prospective partners. Morals. You've been a brilliant Dad and you will forever be alive in my heart and my memories. Heaps of good memories, which I hope I can draw strength from. So I can be strong for mum. I'll look after her Dad, I promise.

I'm going home today, for my last Goodbye.

7/29/2013 4:56:31 PM

Utter Utter Bastards!

I stay up late waiting for an auction on a pair of shoes to finish, that no-one else was even watching and the fuckers jumped all over it at the last minute!


7/28/2013 7:23:44 AM

I know there are a lot of weirdos and freaks on here, but why do they always find me?

Seriously, and I mean this from the heart . . . Fuck off and leave me alone! Especially the hair cutting twat with no respect for peoples limits!

7/25/2013 12:23:20 PM

After a hectic day with a mate from London, I'm now off to the Worthing Munch . . . and running an hour late already! Oooops!

7/24/2013 4:34:28 PM

Poorly kitten tonight :(

I hate being ill, felt rough all afternoon, but so much worse tonight.

7/24/2013 12:48:07 AM

I have just deleted over 70 pages of emails. Super efficient this morning. Amazing what a good nights sleep can do for you :)

7/23/2013 10:03:34 AM

It would appear . . . . 

That I am just a bit too real for some people!

7/21/2013 1:15:38 PM

Well that was intense!

Tit binding . . . Needles . . . Face slapping . . . Tit and nipple abuse . . . Anal . . . Rough sex . . .and Waterboarding!

7/20/2013 2:49:30 AM

Someone asked me today if I knew you? A million memories flashed through my mind, but I just smiled and said . . . . "I used to"

7/16/2013 10:56:23 PM

Chat Requests - I'm flattered to receive chat requests, but please, especially if we've never chatted before, it's polite to ask first.

Thank you.

7/14/2013 2:59:20 AM

Filthy, rough "Dominate me and fuck me til I can't think straight" kinda sex would be just super right now.

7/3/2013 3:15:44 PM

Just back from a mental 2 days in London . . I'll catch up with all mail tomorrow.

6/30/2013 5:51:54 AM

Latest photo of my new hair cut n colour (done by me) now uploaded

6/30/2013 3:04:54 AM

Busy journal day for me . . But just have to put this out there or here, as the case may be.

I am not, never have been and never will be . . A Domme!

I am a fiercely independent woman. A person in my own right. I have opinions, lots of them and can be quite assertive, but I am a submissive to my very core. Hedonistic, masochistic, submissive. Messaging me asking to be my sub/slave is not going to change that.

Rant #2 of the day over.

6/29/2013 11:51:35 PM

I've had a break from here for a few weeks and still it's the same old bollox "No limit slave wanted" - "Caged and humiliated" - "Offering my sub up for use by others" - "Another sub wanted to add to my harem/stable".

What happened to romance and courting? A D/s relationship is no different to a vanilla one in that respect, trust and honesty are cornerstones. Something to be built upon. If all I wanted was to get laid, I'd go down my local pub. I'm not that much of a hag that I can't pull a bloke. I have enough wit and conversation that they don't even have to be drunk.

Try having a conversation for a change, instead of "Can you handle 9 inches" - "I'd love to fuck and humiliate you" and of course, the all time classic "If you were mine, I'd soon change you" - Why? Why do you ant to change me? I'm happy with who I am, if you want to change me, then I'm not the girl for you!

Rant over - Happy Sinful Sunday everyone and don't forget to go along and support your local Armed Forces Day. It's all thanks to them that we're allowed to do this stuff! 

6/29/2013 10:35:27 PM

Going to Brighton Twisted Market today, anyone else going?

6/4/2013 4:11:25 AM

For those that have been asking, I have now uploaded (on here) what photos I have of my tattoos . . . Enjoy!

6/1/2013 11:12:12 AM

It is with the deepest of sorrow that I must regrettably announce the death of Nick (aka LordLubeCan aka Nick the dildo seller) on 31st May 2013.


The news has obviously come as a huge shock to all of us and he will be missed.


At LAM on Sunday 2nd June there will be a candle vigil and opportunity to reflect upon his life and contribution to our lives. At 3 pm we will gather to say a few words and to hold a minute’s applause in his remembrance.


R.I.P Nick, a larger than life character, full of fun, who always had time for people. He will be sadly missed by many.

6/1/2013 6:17:51 AM

Rather amused by all the profiles that say they're 100lbs or under. Have seen one this morning purporting to be just 15lbs . . Sheesh! My right leg weighs more than that!

5/31/2013 4:49:38 AM

I'm off to the garden with my book to enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. 

Enjoy your day everyone, the weekend starts now.

5/30/2013 11:19:47 AM

I'm afraid I will not be at the munch tonight. Sorry guys, but in too much pain to be upright.

Have fun, I shall want to see photos (with permission of course)

5/29/2013 2:20:37 AM

In bloody agony with my back and have a shed load of stuff to do today!

Right, I'm off to the council and then the bank, if you see me hobbling around Worthing, do feel free to say hi . . . Any excuse to stop and have a coffee will be a welcome break :)

Have a great day everyone.

5/27/2013 4:56:04 AM

A beautiful day down here in West Sussex, time to go and plant the herbs and lettuces I got from the garden centre . . . Enjoy what's left of the long weekend everyone :)

5/22/2013 3:49:20 AM

I'm not bad . . . . I'm just angelically challenged ;)

5/22/2013 3:31:17 AM

Every day . . Same names, same pics and the same cries of "Fake" . . "He's a fake" . . "She's a fake" . . . To which I shout at the screen "Burn her" . . "Looks like a witch, floats like a witch, must be a witch . . Burn her!"

Then again, maybe I just watch too much Monty Python.

5/19/2013 2:13:14 PM

I'm not totally useless . . . I can be used as a bad example ;)

5/19/2013 10:31:49 AM

One of those quiet, relaxing Sundays . . . 

I've been in a quietly contemplative mood today. Just me, the ever present music and my thoughts. The weather's not been bad, it's not been beach weather but I've only just shut the patio doors and put my cardie on.

My biggest concern today was that I ran out of bacon and goats cheese, not bad for someone who's usually coiled tighter than a new spring. It's taken a whole week out of London for this to happen. Today, I've not been out, not spoken to a single soul, not even on the phone . . . and you know what? I'm really ok with that.

It's taken me a lot of years to be comfortable in my own skin, I still don't have a very good self image, but I'm learning to live with that too. Being disabled is hard, I'm not used to it and I don't like it. It's still hard for me to acknowledge my limitations. You see, my brain doesn't quite work the same as the rest of you. It sees things a lit off squiff. It's good or it's bad. . It's black or it's white. . I love you or I don't . . I like you or I don't (though I'm slowly getting the hang of being indifferent) . . You want me or you don't! It's not ok! There is no grey and if you don't want me . . Then I'm gone. Ghost! Quicker than you can think it!

I hate confrontation. It fucks me up, I get such an acute adrenalin high that it leaves me shaking afterwards. I don't naturally come out fighting, I'm not that sort of person. My first line in defence has always been humour. I LIKE laughing, it makes me feel good. I'm happier laughing at myself that 'at' someone. I'll make a 'fat' joke about myself before you can think of one. I've built a whole persona around being self derogatory.

Fight or flight . . I'll fly first, unless I feel cornered. Then I will do or say anything it takes for me feel safe again. I'm not the social creature some of you have met/think I am. I'm terrified of meeting new people, the adrenalin hit stays with me for ages. Got to face your fears sort of thing.

Why am I revealing all this?  . . Today, has been a good day. I have honestly been totally at peace with myself Right now, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be, than right here, right now . . with me :D I Rock!

5/16/2013 8:55:05 AM
Niclkelback - Figured You Out . . . I love this song.
I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)

I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed
While you put me to the test
I like the white stains on your dress

And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

5/15/2013 2:23:23 PM

Well, I nearly got blown off the pier the wind was so strong lol but at least I got to the beach. Also managed to stumble on market day, so fresh meat and veg that hasn't been pumped full of water and additives . .Bonus!


Walked/hobbled for miles, suitably knackered and going to luxuriate in my king sized bed with my new toy bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

5/14/2013 1:16:04 PM

Off to the new flat. First night totally on my own for a long time. You wouldn't believe how much I'm looking forward to this!

Worthing, you're not gonna know what's hit you! lol

I will now be attending the Worthing munch and Twoknottygirls rope nights at the same venue and looking forward to making new friends :)

5/14/2013 11:19:30 AM

Oh dear, so many fragile ego's out there. I'm highly amused by the amount of 'doms' that seem to be intimidated by intelligence and humour. . . and while I'm at it. Act your age for goodness sake, 50+ year old men using text speak really isn't on. I don't like it when the kids do it, I expect more from the grown ups! 



5/14/2013 6:45:20 AM

I've just been told that I sound Domme. 


Made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that :)


I'm not a Domme and have no aspirations to be one, I don't even want to try switching, it's not who I am. That said, I do have a very strong personality and sense of self. I have a keen wit and humour is always not far below the surface, that's if I'm not outright laughing.


If you can't keep up, then don't expect me to be around for long.

5/13/2013 11:19:58 AM

Yayyyyy hasta la vista Londonium.


Freedom at last from the grime, the continual noise and the stress. 


Hello Sussex, the seaside, the peace and quiet and most of important of all hello ME time :D

5/7/2013 2:15:21 PM

5 days and counting!


The London Fetish Fair first, at our new venue The White Swan, Farringdon Street. EC4A 4AB. Then I'm escaping London for the summer!


Flat sitting for a friend. Peace, quiet, huge garden and a stones throw from the beach. Happy days :-)


Worthing . . . Here I come!!

12/21/2012 12:57:25 AM

In need of two shirts!


The first proclaiming "Does Not Play Well With Others" and the second one saying "Heavily Medicated for YOUR Protection"



11/27/2012 4:20:16 AM

My son asked me why oysters are Aphrodisiacs.

"Not sure son, maybe because they smell like fannies."

"Ugh, is that what mum's is like?"

"You tell me," I replied, "you were the last one near it."

11/27/2012 4:04:59 AM

I went to hospital with a toilet brush up my arse.
The doctor said, "How did this happen?"
I said, "Well I met this bird in a club, one thing led to another and we ended up back at mine..."
He said, "Into the kinky stuff was she?"
I said, "No ... my wife was home".

11/7/2012 7:25:50 AM

If Cinderella's glass shoe was such a perfect fit .. How did it fall off?

10/30/2012 7:37:39 AM

Does no-one use spell check any more?  . . and what's with all the text speak? You're not limited on the amount of characters you can use. Good grammar and manners go a long way people.

10/28/2012 3:23:26 AM

It's been four weeks today. . Four wonderful weeks (I'm grinning whilst typing this) it's been so much fun, there's been a LOT of laughter, pain, and  a few tears, (but He likes that).


I've been cuddled, cared for, loved and spoiled. What more could a girl ask for?


He's my first waking thought and the last thought before I go to sleep and dream of him. .  Smitten? TOTALLY!

10/23/2012 5:43:39 AM

Today is . . . . . . So much harder than I thought it was going to be :(

10/20/2012 5:34:11 AM

Thank you . .


Still a tad in awe  . . . Lots of firsts for me, who knew that I could beg like a bitch? and tears . .WTF? . . Twice now! Yes, because of the pain, but more the emotion. Knowing the pain I was getting was because he was cross with me. I'd disappointed him and that hurt more than even his cane . . and anyone who knows me, knows how much I fear and loathe the cane . . Subspace too . .wow . . still not quite sure what happened, fucking weird coming back when you didn't even realise you had left lol . . and so, so much more.


I fucked up bad last week, really bad, but . . He's given me another chance and I'm determined never to let him down like that again. I'm not saying I wont fuck up again, cos I will. Not intentionally (maybe) but I'm too much of a brat, (again, unintentionally) it's just in my nature *grins*, besides, I prefer the term playful, rather than brat!


So . . Thank you 


for teaching me, correcting me, caring for and looking after me, for giving me another chance (I wont let you down), but most of all . . Thank you for loving me xx

10/17/2012 11:16:18 AM

looooooooooooooooool I just got accused of being a bloke!

10/17/2012 9:49:17 AM

Dear Mr Cock Shot,


Do you know how squicky the majority of women find cock shots? Seriously, it's not appealing. Especially those disembodied ones, just hanging or in some cases pointing. . no body, no head/face. It's surreal to say the least.


We, and that's a generalised, royal 'we', I don't presume to speak for the rest of womankind, but in general, we would much rather a nice open face shot. Now I know, that's not always possible. Use an avatar, something that reflects your personality or what you require, turns you on. Just please guys, think it through, don't post a cock shot . . Unless you're asked for it ;)



10/12/2012 7:42:34 AM

I am on the most amazing journey at the moment and loving every minute of it . . A much over used word, I know, but it really is just Awesome!


Thank you :D

10/9/2012 8:36:58 AM

*Bounces . .. All going well (no extra work comes in) I'm going to the cinema tomorrow, gonna see Hotel Transylvania and get a sleep over with Himself *Grins*




Doesn't take much to make me happy *grins some more*

10/8/2012 10:41:01 AM

WOW! .. . . Seriously . . .WOW!


I have had the most amazing week. First meet last week went so badly wrong. Crossed wires about where to meet, phone numbers. It was bad, couldn't have been worse but . . I persevered, I really liked the sound of this bloke, so,we met in the evening instead of the afternoon and it's been fantastic ever since. Finally found what I've been looking for, without even knowing I was looking for it.


Limits pushed, boundaries broken. Really surprised myself. So many firsts for me this week. Still drifting, soon as I'm dropping . . He's there, with cuddles and kisses and more pain to help me focus.



10/2/2012 3:04:27 AM

BDSM Mathematics 101 . . 


 If sub A has 3 rings each side of her labia and sub B has 2 rings each side of her labia and padlocks weigh x grams each. . .  How many padlocks can each sub have attached to their rings before they scream RED?


9/30/2012 10:11:31 AM

Today's been . . one of those days! Buses full of the great unwashed, all looking for Sunday bargains. Had a nice glass of Shiraz by the river £5.40 for a large glass! Could've bought a bottle for that ffs , , Bit of a balls up all round . . Waiting on a taxi to take me back!!!

9/29/2012 1:30:26 AM

Please don't bother if ..

Now I've been described as a "Handful" by more than one person. Personally, I just think of myself as lively, playful and only really a bit of a brat if I think you're a bit of a cunt winks but seriously, if you are even considering me as a sub, here are some things you need to know.

1. You should not have . . Had a heart attack or stroke or be considered to be at risk of having one. It's bad enough that I have a reputation for breaking Doms, I certainly don't need a reputation for killing them!

2. You should not have . . Had surgery or been in traction. I've got a bad back, I don't need you to have one as well. Cos if you think swinging a flogger twice is gonna cut it for my pain needs before I have to phone for the paramedics then we've already got problems. Cos I ain't sharing my meds with You!

3. You are unreliable or inconsistent, you're gone! . . Say you're going to phone/text? Then fucking do it! You get 2 chances with me First and last! Yeah, you might cross my mind as I wonder whatever happened to the guy with the 9inch cock who was going to ruin my arse, but it will be a fleeting thought, because . . . I've got bubbles! (not MJ's monkey. before anyone asks)

4. Walk your talk! .. Do not tell me what a wonderful rope bra you are going to make me, then turn up with a ball of string from the local hardware store. Seriously guys, you could have enough to fucking crochet a bra with, it ain't going anywhere close to holding up a pair of 36K tits!

5. Have decent equipment . . Do not lock me in handcuffs that then don't unlock so that I have to travel from Luton to London (on public transport) to be broken out of them by some rather nefarious characters in the middle of a busy pub OR have a paddle that's that flimsy that it splits clean in half the 3rd time you whack my tits with it. FFS, I know my nipples get hard, but they're not THAT hard!.

6. Be living APART from your ex . . Don't be telling me how you're separated, but can't afford to move out. Now, I know we're living in hard financial times and this is true for a lot of couples, but they don't still share the same fucking bed!

7. Swinging . . Not unless you're talking about taking me to the local park to play on the rides. I prefer the roundabout anyway.

8. I will not call you Master . . without adding "of the Universe" whilst thrusting my arm into the air as though holding a sword. You are not my Master on the 2nd or 3rd date (years for this title) let alone on the 1st and especially if you demand it. You'll just bring on my stress induced tourettes and I'll only be able to say "fuck off" from then on.

9. Walk Your Talk! (revisited) . . Be who/what you say you are. You are not a whip maker extraordinaire just cos you've made a couple of scoobies for your grandkids! Casting for fly fishing does not qualify you to use a 16 foot bullwhip. Being a rubber fetishist means more then having an elastic band ball on your desk at work. Watersports does not mean you want to take me out on your jetski ffs!

10. I mean what I say . . Literally, so if I ever say to you "Fuck off, you're a prick" . then fuck off, cos I really do mean it.

11.And finally marrows . . No matter how disgusting, they are FOOD Not for going up my arse!

9/28/2012 10:51:54 AM

Money isn't Everything


It can buy a bed - but not sleep

It can buy a clock - but not time

It can buy a book - but not knowledge

It can buy you a position - but not respect

It can buy medicine - but not health

It can buy blood - but not life

It can buy sex - but not love


So you see, money isn't everything. It often causes pain and suffering.


So send me all your money, let me suffer for you. You know it makes sense ;)

9/28/2012 8:27:27 AM

Back after a 5 month break . . . Wonder if it's the same old faces and the same old bullshit? Time will tell, I'm not holding my breath . . . 

5/10/2012 7:50:49 AM

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom. I sprinkled some more over the bed. I sat in the corner wearing nothing but his beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table. I heard the door open and him walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening ever. I was quite nervous...

Now all I needed was the perfect way to introduce myself

5/10/2012 4:36:38 AM

i've just been told off for being miserable! :O and there was me thinking what a cheerful soul i am. Maybe those who don't get that my journal is written with tongue firmly in my cheek shouldn't read it any more?

And to redress the balance . . . I lost my Grandmother last night.

But to be fair, a pair of fives was never going to beat a Royal flush.

Girl walks into a bar and orders 2 tequila's. She drinks one and throws the other one down her knickers. The barman shouts "Oi, what are you doing?"

She replies "I've just won the lottery, and this is the only cunt I'm sharing it with"

:D enjoy your day, whatever you're doing.

5/9/2012 5:19:07 AM

Totally face planted the carpet yesterday. Complete black out . . .the perils of overdosing on Tramadol :(

4/23/2012 4:36:46 AM

Happy St Georges Day everyone

3/16/2012 3:34:55 AM

Ok, i dunno who's in charge of running this thing called life, but i wanna complain . . . It's someone elses turn for some shit, this is getting ridiculous now!

3/15/2012 5:23:36 PM

At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was playing herself furiously. 

He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. 

She welcomed his help, and so the man started playing her like crazy. 

When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands. 

Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly. 

"Great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!" . . . :O

3/15/2012 4:09:28 PM

Strong arms to hold me tight and soothing words to keep me safe. . . . . Everyone's allowed to dream

3/15/2012 12:31:04 PM

Fable of the Hedgehog
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.
The hedgehogs, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm.
This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one
wounded their closest companions.
After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other
and they began to die, alone and frozen.
So they had to make a choice:
either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.
They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with
their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others.
This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people,
but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others
and can admire the other person's good qualities.


The moral of the story is . . . . 

 . . .

 . . 

 . . 

Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life ;)

3/15/2012 11:53:58 AM

Today's lesson is . . . . . Do Not touch electrical thingummies with wet hands! 

3/15/2012 1:52:26 AM

How cute, i have a stalker!  . . . . but she's blocked me from talking to her lol

3/14/2012 4:19:41 PM

Tears are words from the heart that can not be spoken :(

3/13/2012 2:41:14 PM

my old mum's had a fall, 13 stitches in her mouth/lips. . . . . offline for a while

3/13/2012 7:19:39 AM

Whoaahhh! What's with the sudden flurry of cock shot profile pics i'm seeing on my 'viewed' page? Are your faces really that bad that a cock shot is more appealing?

3/12/2012 10:34:27 AM

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,

 "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied,

 "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked,

 "What are you thinking now?"

He replied,

 "It looks as if I did a pretty good job

3/10/2012 11:26:55 PM

It's the 2nd Sunday of the month, which means it's time for the London Fetish Fair.Time for me to get going, don't forget to come by the stall for a huge range in floggers, crops, canes, clamps etc etc and of course, please say hi :) . . . i'm outta here for the day. Have a good day people,

3/9/2012 7:33:53 AM

The female dentist prepares the needle to give the bloke 

with the toothache an anaesthetic injection.

“No way! No needles, I hate needles!” the guy said.

So the dentist starts to hook up her nitrous oxide gas

and the man objects again. “I can't do the gas thing either.

The thought of having the gas mask on my face makes me faint!”

She then asks the guy if he has any objection to taking a pill.

“No objection,” the patient says. “'I'm fine with pills.”

When she returns she says, “Here's a Viagra and a glass of water.”

The guy says, “Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!”

“It doesn't” she said, "But it’ll give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth out."

3/8/2012 8:59:52 AM

In pain . . and not the good sort.

Dracula's daughter didn't have a clue how to cope with someone with Raynauds Disease, so, two arms, 1 foot and 4 needles and 5 hours later. i'm finally home.

i don't often give in to pain, but i'm crying tonight . . . . 

3/8/2012 3:57:57 AM

After yesterday's torrential rain, it is now shining in sunny South East London . . . i'm off to see draculas daughter, bet it's still bloody cold out there!

3/7/2012 9:55:05 AM

Kids know far too much these days.

Today in the Dr waiting room a little girl had her Barbie and Ken doll imitating the doggy position.

I told her "If you keep doing that you'll end up with little baby dolls"

She replied "I don't think so dickhead, he's doing her up the ass"

3/6/2012 10:37:14 AM

London Fetish Fair - This Sunday. March 11th.

Who's going? . . . Apart from me :D

3/6/2012 8:58:07 AM

Arrrrrrgh! Nightmare journey today, buses filled with raucous school children . . . As my daughter snapped at one of them "If your age is on the clock, don't talk to me". Now in pain and grumpy, coffee and drugs needed!

3/5/2012 10:42:57 AM

It's a sign of the times, when the 7 year itch, turns out to be chlamydia!

3/5/2012 7:00:35 AM

‎"Would you swim across the ocean for me?"

"Why would I do that when there's boats?"

"No but if there wasn't a boat..."

"Then I'd fly across."


"Pfft not with that attitude."

3/3/2012 2:50:52 AM

Trouser Snake 

If you think that the Cobra is the most venomous snake in the world then you are mistaken... The following snake has been found to be the most venomous.... 

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) 

LOCATION: Throughout the world 

DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black. 

Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 1-3 feet) 

* Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & subspecies. 

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. 

Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen! 

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. 

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. 


TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. 

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks any how. 

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. 

1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. 
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. 
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. 
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. 
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 15-20 minutes. 

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not 
necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.

3/3/2012 1:09:00 AM

Ohhh dear . . i appear to have caught a hangover whilst i was sleeping!

2/28/2012 6:25:21 AM

Wont be back til thursday . . . . . try not to miss me too much ;)

2/28/2012 4:32:28 AM

The Biro i was chewing has just leaked. . . . . . i now look like i've been giving head to an Avatar!

2/28/2012 3:51:58 AM

Good friends don't let you do stupid things . . . . . . . . . . alone

2/26/2012 3:00:10 AM

i bought my ex a chair. . . . . . . . . but the state wont let me plug it in ;)

2/25/2012 11:01:33 AM

This weekend, i shall mainly be doing a tramadol detox, not a pleasant experience, but one i need to sort out sooner rather than later . . . . . . Normal service will be resumed shortly

2/23/2012 6:11:55 AM

How To Use The 'F' Word.

1. Dismay ~ Oh fuck it!

2. Aggression ~ Fuck You!

3. Passive ~ Fuck me

4. Command ~ Go fuck yourself

5. Incompetence ~ He's a fuck up

6. Laziness ~ He's fucked off

7. Ignorance ~ He's a fucking jerk

8. Trouble ~ I guess I'm fucked now

9. Confusion ~ What the fuck?

10. Despair ~ Fucked again!

11. Philosophical ~ Who gives a fuck

12. Denial ~ You ain't fucking me

13. Rebellion ~ Fuck the world

14. Annoyance ~ Don't fuck with me!

15. Keep on fucking

16. Etiquette. ~ Pass the fucking salt please

17. Fraud ~ I got fucked over

18. Identification ~ Who the fuck are you?

19. Difficulty ~ I can't fucking understand this

20. Ugliness ~ You're fucking ugly

21. Agreement ~ You're fucking right!

22. Benevolence ~ Don't do me any fucking favours.

2/22/2012 1:25:09 PM

Ziploc bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons Are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A tire is male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

A hot air balloon is male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

A web page is female, because it's always getting hit on.

A subway is male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An hourglass is female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A hammer is male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

A remote control is female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps! trying! 

2/22/2012 11:52:00 AM

Teacher "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence & you shoot 1, how many are left?"
Billy "None, the others would fly away ." 
Teacher "The answer is 4 but I like the way you think."
Billy "I have a question for you Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream cones, 1 licking, 1 biting, & 1 sucking. Which one is married?"
Teacher nervously answers "The one sucking."
Billy "The answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think!"

2/22/2012 4:04:48 AM

Dictionary For Womens Personal Ad-

40ish ..................... 49
Adventurous ............... Slept with all your mates
Athletic .................. No Tits
Average looking ........... Has a face like an arse
... Beautiful ................. Pathological liar
Contagious smile .......... Does a lot of pills
Educated .................. Fucked to death at college
Emotionally secure ........ On medication
Feminist .................. Fat
Friendship first .......... Former slut/born again virgin
Fun ....................... Annoying
Gentle .................... Dull
Good listener ............. Autistic
New Age ................... Body hair problems
Old fashioned ............. No blow jobs or anal
Open minded ............... Desperate
Outgoing .................. Loud and embarrassin
Passionate ................ Sloppy drunk
Poet ...................... Depressive
Professional .............. Bitch
Romantic .................. Frigid
Social .................... Fanny like a clowns pocket
Voluptuous ................ Very fat
Large lady ................ Hugely Fat
Wants soul-mate............ Stalker
Widow ..................... Murderer

2/22/2012 3:58:40 AM

Little girl asks her mum "Mum, what's a cock?" . . mum thinks a minute and replies "it's the dangly thing that hangs between his legs" little girl nods then asks "so what's a cunt?" without hesitation mum replies "that's the rest of him sweetie"

2/21/2012 3:59:46 AM
Pancake day at fucking last. It's been worse than Christmas and Easter together.

The shops have had eggs, flour and milk on the shelves for fucking months now.



2/19/2012 3:03:16 AM

I asked the wife to try anal last night . . 

She replied "Fuck that shit!"  . .

"That's the spirit girl" I said

2/18/2012 8:02:37 AM

i'm back :D. . . . . "Ohhh fuck" i hear you say.

my pc had a bit f a nervous breakdown, which is of little wonder with the crap that i type into it. Nevertheless, we are back. The posting of pointless shit and cynicism will resume shortly.

2/8/2012 4:32:11 AM

Impossibilities in the world -

1. You can't count your hair. 

2. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 

 3. you can't breathe when your tongue is sticking out

- put your tongue back in u daft cunt

- No matter how many times theres always one!!!

1/31/2012 5:54:34 AM

i had a heart once, but someone stole it. They never took very good care of it and when i got it back, it was all broken.

i have a harder one now and i'm not letting anyone play with this one!

1/30/2012 9:01:58 AM

A bloke takes his new girlfriend home to meet his parents but he tells her "I must warn you that they are both deaf & dumb"
They get to the house & walk into the living room, Only to see that his mum has got a beer bottle wedged up her fanny & the dad is sittin there with his nuts hanging out with a matchstick propping one eye open. ..
The shocked girlfriend says " what the fuck is this all about ?" 
He replies " Oh don't worry about that is sign language, 
My mum is saying get the beers in you cunt & my dad is sayin bollocks I'm watchin the match

1/29/2012 6:24:28 AM

Don't you just hate it, when you look down after sex and there's a soggy, used condom hanging off your cock? . . . . Especially if you haven't used one ;)

1/25/2012 1:43:18 AM

i've lost my virginity!!!!!!!!!! . . . . .but i still have the box it came in ;)

1/25/2012 1:06:27 AM

Don't you just hate it, when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick your cigarette out the window, and you drive for a couple more miles, and you smell something funny, and you look over into the back seat, and sure enough. . . . .  Grandma's fingering herself again!

1/24/2012 3:34:09 PM

To understand a woman, you need to get inside her head, not between her legs!

To understand a man, you need to . . . . Forget it, just give him a blowjob ;)

1/19/2012 5:44:51 AM

i'm in the process of wiping clean all my profiles, all over the net, as i don't feel that i belong in this world any more. i will however still keep the profiles so that i can stay in touch with some of the wonderful friends that i have made.

i wish you all good luck in your searches.


1/5/2012 2:24:22 AM

As per usual, life has kinda blind sided me for a while. i Will however, still be at the London fetish Fair this month, on the TrussedUK stall, as per usual. Stop by and say hi :)

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

12/11/2011 12:20:41 AM

It's that time of the month again. . . .

 . . . . who's coming? You can find me on the stall. Come and say hi. See you all there :)

12/1/2011 1:59:00 AM

What's the difference between medium and rare? . . . . . . . 

6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare ;)

11/27/2011 10:58:19 AM

Told you i was ill!!!!!

Pneumonia. . .4 hours in resus, then 4 days IV antibiotics (straight into the jugular! Seriously)

Still, i'm alive and kicking, well, not so much kicking as shuffling, but i'm back home :)

11/23/2011 9:06:08 AM

Get your loved ones something different this year. . . . . .

11/23/2011 3:03:40 AM

Struggling big time. . . . my lungs hurt :(

11/22/2011 10:33:11 AM

Off work. . Can't walk. . . can hardly breathe :(

11/21/2011 3:27:14 PM

i don't care if it's hypocritical of me, but i'm not interested in bi men!

11/21/2011 4:41:14 AM

The Jeremy Kyle Christmas song:

12 cans of carling.. 11 DNA tests.. 10 dads to choose from.. 9 teeth between them.. 8 squeezed in tracksuits.. 7 stinking smackheads.. 6 dunlop trainers.. 5 STOLEN RINGS... 4 fat slags.. 3 ugly twats.. 2 timing runts ... And a wanker who parades them on t.v!

11/20/2011 2:58:44 AM

Every bloke, thinks every girls dream, is to find the perfect bloke!. . . .Pfffffft! Every girls dream, is to eat without getting fat!

11/16/2011 7:01:33 AM

Ooooops! May have got a tad carried away with the scissors this month!

11/16/2011 6:44:11 AM

Blank profiles . . . . Why?

11/15/2011 1:14:54 AM

Apologies to those i insulted whilst ever so slightly drunk last night . . . . . unless of course, you thoroughly deserved it for being a cunt :D

11/14/2011 6:17:29 AM

Two fleas on a cunt, one is a junkie, one is a mugger! How do you tell them apart?  . . . The junkie is sniffing the crack and the mugger is hiding in the bush

11/12/2011 5:38:11 PM

Time i laid these tired bones down. Got a long day at the London Fetish Fair tomorrow . . .Stop by the trusseduk stall and say hi :)

11/12/2011 12:40:15 PM

Oh well, suppose i'd better get my arse back to work, make sure the minions have been coping in my absence. After all, i have had a whole 2 hours off since 8.30am!!!

11/12/2011 12:17:54 PM

Do not be shy . . . be proud of yourself. . . offer me your holes with abandon . . .raise up your arse for me to see . . . and let me take you roughly . . . *sighs deeply* one day!

11/7/2011 4:55:54 PM

I'm mentally celibate. . . . . .  . . . . . . . . 

i don't give a FUCK what you think! ;)

11/7/2011 4:21:04 PM

Good news for insomniacs. . . . . only 4 sleeps til xmas ;)

11/6/2011 3:14:26 PM

30 hours in 3 days. i need a proper day off, one where i don't have to do ANYTHING for ANYONE, except me!

11/5/2011 10:26:49 AM

Sometimes, there comes a point in your life, when being nice and reasonable, just doesn't work and you have to show your nasty side.

i'm not a nasty person, but . . . . . i'm going to be one horrible fucking cunt this weekend!

11/5/2011 2:13:21 AM

i do believe, there is every possibility, that i may develop a hangover as i sober up! Gonna be one long arsed day!

11/3/2011 12:27:33 AM

Tired . . tired of fighting. . . tired of smiling . . . . tired of working . . . . i'm tired!

10/29/2011 2:12:06 AM

Long arse day at work again today, but, got the night off!!! Can't remember the last time i had a saturday night off work :) Happy Days!

For the oldies amongst you . . 70% of Sham69 + 30% of The Jam = New band 'IF'. That's where i'll be tonight, enjoying the gig, but also on duty for the club (yeah yeah, sort of night off lol) Got some proper old 'faces' gonna be there too. Mad Frankie Frasier mixing with the footie celebs. Gonna be a cracker!

Have a great weekend everyone. i'm going to :D

10/28/2011 12:58:49 PM

Right, back to work i go, no rest for the wicked. i bloody hate karaoke night :(

10/27/2011 3:55:12 AM

             HEDONISM RULES!

10/27/2011 2:49:29 AM

Why is it, that i only seem to crave what i know i can't have?

10/26/2011 3:38:10 AM

So many men. . . .such a dearth of humour!

10/25/2011 2:27:07 PM

i'm a grandma!!! my wonderful eldest daughter gave birth to a whopping 8lb 15oz baby girl on sunday morning. She's beautiful and i am totally smitten with her :D

10/8/2011 5:38:59 PM

It's that time of the month again . . . yep. . . London Fetish Fair time :D

10/4/2011 3:33:46 AM

How do i manage to always get into trouble? i really must learn to think before i open my mouth. Humour is not always appropriate or welcomed :(

9/30/2011 4:32:03 AM

i am the snot monster extraordinaire!

i have +30 powers of destruction and power to make you feel like shite abilities!

9/27/2011 2:41:25 AM

i appear to have a hangover . . . . now how the hell did that happen?!

UPDATE: i do Not have a hangover, seems i have food poisoning and it's seriously not funny! :(

9/25/2011 5:05:05 PM

2 whole(ish) days off!!!!!!!!!!! What shall i do with myself (rhetorical question), i think sleep is top of the agenda!

9/24/2011 6:19:48 PM

Back to work in 7 hours, best i got some sleep. . . . Damn, but i'm looking forward to a day off!

9/23/2011 7:00:22 AM

Bathed and blow dried. Just a smidgen of mascara, to bring out my eyes. The most subtle of sparkly bits, well, it is friday night. 

Right, i'm ready for work and the horrors of friday night karaoke!

9/23/2011 4:04:20 AM

Why do people say 'grow some balls'? 

 Balls are weak & sensitive, if you wanna get tough, grow a vagina.


 Those things take a pounding.

9/21/2011 7:01:23 AM

i can highly recommend checking EXACTLY where you put the red hot hair straighteners BEFORE sitting down!

9/20/2011 5:33:09 AM

i'm devestated. i found my cat drowned in the washing machine, but. . . .at least it died in Comfort ;)

9/17/2011 12:48:38 AM

The game i've been waiting for since the fixture list came out. . . . . . 

Millwall vs Vermin . . . .Let's 'Ave It!

9/10/2011 11:02:21 PM

Birthday celebrations continue today at the London Fatish Fair. Be sure to come by the trusseduk stall, say hi and have some cake :)

9/9/2011 12:13:00 AM

Let the birthday celebrations begin . . . . . . . . 

8/29/2011 2:53:31 AM

Woohoo! i got a job. . . only part time, but it's a start! :D Happy Days :D

8/27/2011 1:53:23 AM

It's saturday in Cold Blow Lane, we've all come down to cheer,

We've had our jellied eels and our glass of beer. . . . .  

It's football day! Wooohoooooo!

8/21/2011 12:36:58 AM

Getting ready to go to the BBB. . . . can't wait to put names to faces at long last :D

8/19/2011 1:43:17 AM

Ahh friday, we meet again. i'm tired of all the other days, i think it's time we became exclusive ;)

8/19/2011 1:32:40 AM

The only way to accept an insult, is to ignore it. If you can't ignore it, top it. If you can't top it, laugh. If you can't laugh . . . You deserved it! ;)

8/17/2011 7:43:14 AM

Someone told me the other day, that i'm needy. . . yeah, you know who you are, Bastard!

Now, i disagree with this. i think my trouble is i'm not needy enough. i don't do the whole "he's not phoned me". . . phone him every two minutes routine. Yeah, i need regular contact, but i don't expect or want you checking up on me all the time. For example, why on earth do you want a daily journal ffs? My life ain't that interesting and anything you need to know, you could always just ask! It's called conversation.

You doms have far too fragile ego's. You need to be needed. i don't mind falling at your feet (metaphorically) and giving you my undivided attention, when we're together, but every minute of the day? get real . . . Rant over!

Bastard, you always get in my head. Bloody good to see you back though lol

8/17/2011 1:01:58 AM

A chalazion, also known as a meibomian cyst, is a common condition affecting the eyelid. The cyst (fluid-filled swelling) is usually felt as a small lump. Occasionally, it can become infected. It is caused by blockage of a gland in the eyelid. If it is causing problems and does not settle on its own, it can be removed with a small operation.


Woke up to find i have another one of these. i'm not impressed! Only had two cut out a coupla months ago :(

8/16/2011 2:03:56 AM

There are some people, just a few mind you, that are absolutely guaranteed to put a huge smile on my face :D . . . . . . . As for the rest, well, living proof of what happens when a brother and sister have babies together ;)

8/15/2011 11:25:13 AM

The bdsm world is full of fuckwits. . . and they all seem to have directions straight to my profiles lol


8/15/2011 7:25:06 AM

Who wants to give me a whip making tutorial?

8/15/2011 1:33:39 AM

By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand . . . . . . . Go on, go and try it!

8/10/2011 1:42:46 AM

RIP Broken Britain.. You went soft on discipline!.. You went soft on immigration!You went soft on crime.. Parents were told.. 'No you can't smack the kids'....Teachers were prevented from chastising kids in schools.. The police couldn't clip a troublemaker round the ear.. Kids had rights blah blah blah.. Well done Britain..You shall reap what you sow.. We have lost a whole generation. 

8/10/2011 1:27:48 AM

You know things are bad, when Millwall are maintaining Law and Order. . . . . .

No-one loots us, no-one loots us, no-one loots us. We don't care, we are Millwall

8/8/2011 11:33:11 AM


This is outrageous. Sheer thug mentality. Water canons, take them all out!

8/8/2011 12:48:10 AM

I Will Survive (new version)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified! When you said you had 10 inches, Lord i almost died! But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that i grew strong and knew that I could take you on... But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a Big Mac and you brought me a French Fry! I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream! Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans! Go on now-Go, walk out the door, don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4! Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't find you out? Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count? I will survive! I will survive! As long as I have batteries, my sex life's going to thrive! I will always have good sex, with a handful of latex! I will survive! I will survive, hey hey! 

7/7/2011 5:28:22 AM

Just my own personal taste but . . . those with face shots. A smile is so much more appealing than the 'mean and moody' look

7/6/2011 10:40:50 PM

my thoughts today are with all the friends and families of those that lost their lives and those that were injured in the horrific 7/7 London bombings at the hands of cowardly terrorist scum. R.I.P. . . . To the survivors and families, i hope you find some peace.

7/6/2011 12:07:26 PM

First meet - Public place. Not straight to their home. Safe calls in place. Right?

Would you trust someone who called you paranoid and untrusting for saying you wanted these standard procedure safety rules in place or would you, like me, think they had a hidden agenda?

He seemed to think that we were friends, because we'd exchanged several emails. He never verified his phone number, although i did by sending a text to the number given.

Being over cautious? No, i don't think i am!

7/5/2011 10:29:43 AM

Laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out. . . . 

I am seeking women that believe in Male Supremacy.  If you believe in your own servile and inferior nature, message Me, and address Me as Sir.



29 years old, awww bless. . . . . still laughing.

7/5/2011 3:37:41 AM

Sunday 10th July 2011

Come and check us out at the London Fetish Fair



All your fetish requirements catered for, plus you get my wonderful company! What more could you ask for? Come along and join in the fun. Meet like minded people, do some shopping, socialise and stay for the after party.

See you there, be sure to come and say hi :)

7/4/2011 7:58:03 AM

Do all 'dominants' launch straight into sex talk after the second or third email?

How much time do you spend getting to know someone before meeting them?

What are warning signals for you that they are just after kinky sex?

What are the signs that someone is domineering rather than a Dominant?

Yes, sex to me within a relationship is important, but No, it's not the be all and end all of it! So many seem to think they can control through sex. . . "I have a very high sex drive" . . .seems to be a prevalent comment on many profiles. 

Am i just on the wrong site or am i just attracting the type of person?

7/4/2011 1:51:55 AM

Just been reading some of my old journal entries. . . . . Damn, i'm funny sometimes :) 

7/2/2011 1:36:55 AM

An afternoon in the sunshine at Peckham, watching the ladies of the Gaelic Football team play, what promises to be, a very lively game :)

Then over to East London to watch the David Haye fight with friends. Excellent! :)

i'm easily pleased lol

6/30/2011 11:00:40 AM

Oh My! . . .i have just seen the most disgusting 'cock shot' ever!. . . . i'm sure they're not supposed to look like that!

6/29/2011 12:14:14 PM

Rough day . . . . Not about tonight! Lots of cuddles needed. . . . . i'll catch up tomorrow

6/29/2011 1:50:06 AM

The sun is shining, the skies are blue. Despite a light breeze, there is a heat haze already hovering over London.

my spirits should be lifted, instead my heart is heavy, as i prepare to take a vulnerable young adult to do their video interview. i wont be allowed to watch or listen, to hear of the abuse that happened between the ages of 3 and 5. i'm there for support and to pick up the pieces afterwards.

*sighs* It's going to be a long and traumatic day.

6/28/2011 7:41:41 AM

The good thing about walking in the warm summer rain is . . . . . no-one sees your silent tears.

The bad thing about walking in the warm summer rain is. . . . . no-one sees your silent tears . . 

and you slip off your bloody flip flops :(

6/28/2011 3:02:20 AM

Thank you, thank you, thank you. . . . . . 

To all the "kneel bitch" brigade, along with the "call me sir" lot and not forgetting the "you'll be treated like the piece of meat you are" ones, for making me laugh so hard this morning, that a little bit of wee came out!

Hilariously funny, brilliant start to the day! Once again. . . . Thank you all :)

6/27/2011 3:17:22 AM

It's NOT a pussy! It does not have four legs and a tail. . . It's a cunt!

6/26/2011 8:23:40 AM

Can anyone tell me, which bit of my profile is screaming . . . . . 

i want cheap meaningless kinky sex

because i really need to address that issue now, before i explode all over the next looming troll!

6/26/2011 4:09:46 AM

On Offer Today . . . . . 

I want to be collared!

I want to keep it all to just the bedroom!

I wont let you do *. . . . . (insert word of choice) to me!

I wont call you Sir in public!

Such demanding subbies everywhere!

Instead of demanding what you want, how about saying what you have to offer? Now, i'm not directing this at anyone in particular, just the musings of a middle aged sub. i've been guilty of doing the same myself, but it's not very appealing, is it? Besides which, after agreeing your hard limits, you have no other choices really lol.

i'm by no means encouraging anyone to be a doormat, unless of course, that's a particular fetish of yours, then by all means, go for it! Have a lively mind, be able to converse on more than one subject, always be yourself, trust me, you'll be a lot more comfortable that way . . . well, unless you're a bit of a knobhead, then feel free to be someone else, but Don't act the pratt in public. Don't be disrespectful. S/He picked you for a reason, honour that by showing them they made the right choice!

6/23/2011 10:32:34 PM

i have decided, that, all things considered. i really can't be arsed with any of this at the moment!

6/16/2011 2:38:24 PM

Not been online much lately, but by god i've been having some fun! ;)

6/3/2011 8:36:24 AM

Woohoo, friday night and i have two here for company. . . .well, i say two, but i've nearly finished the first bottle lol

6/3/2011 6:47:32 AM

Still stressed out. Still run ragged. Still single!. . . . . Hmmmmmm, wonder if there's a connection there?

5/30/2011 8:53:29 AM

What a deliciously deviant weekend. . . *smiles contentedly and wanders off. . . . . . . . 

5/21/2011 1:16:21 AM

Deviants Picnic.

Crystal Palace Park, at The Bell, which is clearly marked on all park maps. Nearest train station is East Penge or Thicket Road if you need carparking space. We'll have a big bunch of black balloons, so we're easily spotted. Saturday 28th May from 11am.

An informal gathering of like minded people, enjoying the English summer, while it lasts. There will be a BBQ, feel free to bring along food and drinks. Easy access by public transport and ample parking space. We'll be easy to find, just follow the laughter.

Everyone welcome, don't be shy, pop along and say hi.


p.s. This is not a regular event (yet) just a chance to get out and meet some new people in a friendly atmosphere. Don't like the look of us, just keep walking lol, we don't bite . . . unless you ask us nicely ;) Hope to see you there

4/14/2011 1:07:18 PM

Dad back in hospital. . .pnuemonia :(

i'll catch up with mail as soon as i can

4/8/2011 2:52:37 AM

Thursday, an unplanned day off. My son, bless his heart, took over duties at my parents for the day for me. . . i really didn't fancy going up the ladder decorating and varnishing the outside window ledges anyway lol.

Soooo, what to do? i'm always a bit at a loss when i don't have any structure to my day, but. . . . riding into view on a 3 wheeled charger, a knight in shining humour! i spent the whole day on line, being a brat. . .errr. . i mean myself *grins* my face is still aching from laughing so much, bit of a stiff neck from headbanging all night too lol. So, thank you birthday boy, i had a blast, you brightened what would have been an otherwise very dull day.

The weekend? Well, for those of you that know me, it goes without saying, Leeds at home! Will i be going? Of course i bloody well will, had my ticket for ages, long before they sold out and sunday, well, it's the second sunday of the month, so i will be at the LFF, giving a hand on one of the stalls. . . if you can spot me, come and say 'hi' and have a look at all the handmade wonderful equipment on sale.

Have a great weekend everyone, i fully intend to.


(still grinning like a loon)

4/5/2011 4:35:08 AM

Decisions, decisions!

Do i treat myself, have a day off, soak my already aching muscles and have a lazy day  . . . or, do i push myself a bit harder and go do a good deed and sort the pensioners garden out for him?


4/4/2011 2:05:09 AM

Mental, mental weekend! Trip to Hull with the Millwall B..A.S.T.A.R.D's (bridge appreciation society tourists area rotherhithe & deptford) lol was brillaint, so much laughter and naughtiness, shame i got kicked out at half time !! Then on to a 50th birthday party, where much more fun and misbehaviour (on my part) was had, before going home for Mother's day . . . shattered but happy :)

Not happy about breaking my phone though :((

3/28/2011 7:47:14 AM

Another flying visit today, but managed to get all my mail sorted, woohoo!

When does life start slowing down a bit? Anyone know?

3/21/2011 11:55:48 PM

Today, i will mainly be. . . .at Colchester Hospital. Baby Fred's first photo shoot (first scan today, i get to meet my grandchild :D)

3/7/2011 1:23:56 AM

Another brilliant weekend. No, we didn't win (only remembered the score yesterday lol) but what a brilliant day out!

2/28/2011 12:09:51 PM

WOW! What a day! my youngest daughter did her first catwalk show as a model and this afternoon, got a call from my eldest telling me that i'm going to be a grandma, just in time for my birthday this year! Woohoo!

2/23/2011 3:53:21 AM

Well, it's been a while since i updated my journal. 

Life in jozlworld is just as hectic as ever. Life, Death and Football, same as ever lol

Still looking (though not too hard) for a r/t dom, who has the power to make me go weak at the knees with a single look, but doesn't feel the need to beat the living crap out of me to get the sub 'he wants'!!!

12/31/2010 4:18:58 AM

Busy, busy 24 hours ahead of me!

Crewing at the dungeon tonight (can't wait to see Peter Pan and Wendy) then, straight from there to the LLG for a press conference, then off to The New Den to see the Mighty Lions stuff the nigels! What a way to see the New Year in!

Happy New Year everyone. i hope it brings you peace in your life.

jozz x

12/27/2010 3:31:15 AM

Yes, i'm a sub.

No! i am not your sub to order around and give instructions to!

Sheeeesh, you lot really need to sort yourselves out. That ain't the way this works!

12/24/2010 9:40:54 AM

Wishing all my friends on here Health & Happiness for the New Year.

Be well people and remember, Don't let the bastards grind you down!

12/23/2010 11:12:57 AM
'Who's a clever girl?'

"you are jozz"

'Why are you a clever girl?'

"cos i rigged up a semi working cam"

'you Are a clever girl'

"i know" < smug grin

12/23/2010 4:03:55 AM
i have orbital cellulitis. i know that just sounds like fat eyes and it does make your eye very swollen, but it's also incredibly painful. . . . i certainly wont be posing for any crimbo photos this year lol

12/18/2010 7:36:12 AM
Snow has stopped all weekend's activities! No football. No Dungeon. No Fair . . :(

12/15/2010 2:23:22 AM
Still barely getting time to draw breath!

12/8/2010 6:45:11 AM
i'm not around at the moment, as Dad has been back in hospital since sunday.
i promise to catch up and answer all mail as soon as i can.

12/2/2010 2:42:59 AM
god i feel sorry for the poor bastard that has to wake up tp the fucking ugly mug ever morning
Thanks for that goddesslex.
i Do hope you find what you're looking for and get some kind of relief soon. You obviously have a very sad and lonely life if all you can do is trawl profiles, looking for people to insult!
Happy Christmas sweetie :)

11/26/2010 11:22:20 AM

Woohoo! Child free for the whole night. i do believe i shall treat myself to a bottle of wine and a very hot bubble bath mmmmm

11/25/2010 2:25:09 AM

Starting your first ever message to me "hi bitch" Will get my attention but will Not get a positive reaction!

FFS grow up and show some bloody respect. This is not a game for me!

11/24/2010 4:59:37 PM

Ooooops! Scared another one off!

Seems to be coming a bit of a habit lol.

11/23/2010 8:27:11 AM

That was fun ! :D

11/23/2010 1:22:33 AM

Today, i will mostly be . . . . . Out to lunch :)

11/22/2010 2:26:47 AM

Long and eventful weekend. Tired and ache . . . but happy. Looking forward to tomorrow now :)

11/19/2010 8:05:51 AM

Woohoo! No more hospital appointments for the oldies now until the new year.

Not been the easiest of weeks, but whenever is it? lol. Still, got the dungeon to look forward to tomorrow night, so some pain should help ease the tension i've been feeling. Happy Daze lol ;)

11/18/2010 11:38:48 AM

i may not be the most beautiful or have the sexiest body. i may not be your first choice but i am a great choice. i don't pretend to be someone i'm not, because i'm good at being me!

i'm not proud of some of my past decisions but i am proud of who i am today. Take me as i am . . . or watch me walk away.

11/18/2010 11:06:50 AM

i have been reliably(?) informed, that speed bumps are pregnant potholes! Thanks bb x

11/18/2010 2:55:53 AM

Today's Thought . . . If there is enough tarmac to build speed humps, why isn't there enough to fill in the potholes?

11/17/2010 9:30:31 AM

Bugger, bugger, bugger!  . . No, not a request, well . . maybe ;) But not in this context, so Bugger!

11/17/2010 7:32:36 AM

SSC . .Safe, Sane, Consensual.

A lot of what we do can hardly be considered safe or sane, even if it is consensual lol

11/17/2010 5:33:35 AM

When is someone gonna take me away from this life of servitude and give me the life of . . err . . . well . . servitude And pain  . . . ohhh sod it! i give up.

11/15/2010 12:15:02 AM

i am in the process of trying to delete all 'incriminating' evidence from the laptop, before handing it over to the boy child. This could take some time lol

11/14/2010 5:38:15 AM

A kiss and a grope with Millwall's legendary hard man Terry Thurlock, dunno who was more drunk, me or him! lol

Large whiskies followed by home made sangria. . . . damn but my head hurts today. Bloody good day out though, despite the result.

11/13/2010 2:09:32 AM

Busy busy busy (again). Off down the mountain to the oldies, pick up the invalid for the footie, then partying with the Millwall girlies after the game. Should be back sometime in the wee small hours.

11/11/2010 2:20:13 AM

Back in my own home. Mum back where she belongs, by my Dad's side. The Golden Duo (50+ years together) best comedy double act in town,
 are back doing what they do best, loving each other and making us all laugh.

Day off from the invalids for me today, so i'm off to see my son and the latest addition to his little family . . . they've got a kitten lol. Seems littlun ain't that impressed and keeps throwing the poor little mite across the room. Think she needs a nanny jozz 'stern face' quickly followed by a cuddle of course :)

Should be a quick journey today as well, these gale force winds should blow me there in no time.

i hope everyone is taking time out for 2 minutes silence at the 11th hour . . . 

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old,

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

With maximum respect to all our armed forces. Past, present and future.

11/9/2010 1:12:37 PM

Well, it turns out that only one of them was hospitalised, though for a while there (8.30am) it did look like it was gonna be both of them.

Mum's still in having tests, Dad's ok, but obviously worried, i've moved in to look after him and. . . . and. . . . .well . . . we'll see what happens tomorrow!

11/8/2010 6:01:43 AM

Offline now til the morrow. Woohoo! Pay day :)

11/7/2010 4:34:07 AM

Another brilliant weekend! Starting with friday night at The Royal Festival Hall, some very good friends (and one new one) to watch Christy Moore. We sang lots and laughed a lot. Walked home barefoot in the rain (bloody high heels were killing me lol).

Yesterday was a Millwall day out in Doncaster. Lionesses on tour! Again, much hilarity involving the licking of windows, random strangers, cling film and rival fans. You had to be there. Unfortunately the evidence of some of these acts (mainly involving me) are popping up all over facebook this morning (oooops)

Off down the mountain now to do my daughterly duties. Hopefully fully back online on tuesday. 

Hope your weekend was even half as much fun as mine was :)

11/4/2010 7:29:13 AM

i am in the process of ripping some 600 music cd's to my pc. Didn't realise just how many i had accumulated, been fun re-acquainting myself with some of the older stuff though :)

11/2/2010 3:41:20 AM

i've been up all night, doubled up in pain. i am Not a happy bunny *pouts, winces and limps off to bed*

11/1/2010 8:50:47 PM

Still having mail problems. Having to delete them al individually, NOT impressed :( Grrrrrrrr collarme, sort it out ffs!

11/1/2010 8:35:09 AM

Today is the 75th birthday of the most important man in my life. 

Happy Birthday Daddy, i love you all the world and sixpence. You never fail to make me smile or laugh. You have always been there, through good times and bad and are Never displeased to see me on your doorstep. You have helped shape me into the person i am today. :)

10/30/2010 11:46:53 AM

People who send you circle of friends requests, without ever having spoken a word to you before, what's that all about? Just trying to make yourselves look popular?

10/29/2010 4:33:26 AM

Well, sleep eluded me yet again last night.

There are so many lost and desperately alone people looking for some form of interaction, from light hearted banter, to a stranger to confide their inner most fears to, on the internet at stupid o'clock in the morning.

The world can be a very scary and lonely place in the dead of night, when all you have for company, is the inside of your own head.

10/28/2010 8:42:23 AM

Why wont collarme let me delete my old mail? i hate having a messy mail box! grrrrr

10/27/2010 4:55:14 PM

Had a really good day today. Let's hope there's many more to come :)

10/26/2010 3:16:34 AM

i am Sooo damned cheeky, i really don't know how i get away with it lol lol lol

10/25/2010 4:33:48 PM

As you may have noticed, i'm not a great one for foul language, so suffice it for me to say fuckinpoxycuntin technology!!!!

10/25/2010 4:53:28 AM

OK! As a statement "i don't do younger, married or switch" still seems to be causing some confusion, so let's try a different approach.

Are you

A) younger than me?

B) married?

C) switch?

If you can answer YES to one or more of the above, then you are NOT for me, thank you for taking an interest and good luck in your search.

Much better that we sort it out now, than i have to send you an email telling you to FUCK RIGHT OFF isn't it? *smiles sweetly*

10/25/2010 12:51:48 AM

After yet another busy weekend, with minimal sleep, interspersed with yet more bone chilling nightmares and an hour or so spent looking at either blank or laughably arrogant profiles  . . ok, ok, a few made me smile, but all things considered, i have decided to go back to bed!

10/23/2010 5:21:40 PM

This is a man's world,

this is a man's world.

But it wouldn't mean nothing,


without a woman or a girl.

10/23/2010 2:52:51 AM

i will soon be off to The Den to help with the chant of. . "Who are ewe?" . . at the visiting Derby fans :D

Happy Days . . . inflatable sheep at the ready lol

10/22/2010 12:17:16 PM

my faith has been restored in mankind and all in one phone call.

There are nice, kind, genuine people out there!

Dave, you are an absolute star! Thank you x

10/22/2010 2:32:38 AM

Finally got the new (to me) pc up and running, messenger finally loaded but all still running slower than a London bus during rush hour!!!

10/21/2010 3:10:57 AM

Seriously struggling with life this week :(

10/19/2010 9:35:29 AM

i'm off to church now (The New Den) home of the Gods (Millwall) to go see the sailor boys (Portsmouth) get stuffed by us, as usual. Happy Days :D

10/13/2010 1:18:16 AM
i had a brilliant day out at the seaside yesterday. Missed my boys more than i realised. Wont leave it so long next time. Now gearing up for the weekend away in Stafford. Nervous excitement has already set in *grins*

10/9/2010 3:25:36 PM
Going up to Stafford next friday for the weekend. i am so excited, i can't wait! Happy Days *GRINS*

10/8/2010 7:20:26 PM
i have had the Best night with my Millwall girlies! The wonderful Toni (birthday girl) provided food, drink and location. The gorgeously big titted Carly was on TOP form, my very own babygirl held her own against the heavy weights and i (me, myself and i) beat the only token bloke (our young Dan) in a pissing competition! What more can i say, Millwall girlies fucking rock!!!

10/7/2010 1:51:19 AM
The Foo Fighters. A song for BDSM? I've got another confession to make I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holdin' you Were you born to resist, or be abused? Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Or are you gone and onto someone new? I needed somewhere to hang my head Without your noose You gave me something that I didn't have But had no use I was too weak to give in Too strong to lose My heart is under arrest again But I'll break loose My head is giving me life or death But I can't choose I swear I'll never give in I refuse Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Has someone taken your faith? It's real, the pain you feel You trust, you must confess Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Has someone taken your faith? It's real, the pain you feel The life, the love You'd die to heal The hope that starts The broken hearts You trust, you must confess Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? I've got another confession my friend I'm no fool I'm getting tired of starting again Somewhere new Were you born to resist, or be abused? I swear I'll never give in, I refuse Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you? Has someone taken your faith? It's real, the pain you feel You trust, you must confess Is someone getting the best The best, the best, the best of you?

10/6/2010 4:42:53 PM
i know it shouldn't bother me, but it does! There are some really pretentious, patronising wankers on here!

10/2/2010 2:52:21 AM
i'm off to celebrate Millwalls 125th Birthday. Come on you Mighty Lions! i'm on door duty, so have your tickets and money ready. If you're not on the guest list or don't have a ticket, then you ain't coming in. We're at capacity for H&S! Happy Days :D

10/1/2010 11:12:18 PM
Do you know the difference between Dominant and domineering? Do you know the difference between D/s and kinky sex? Seriously, opening gambits like "beg to serve me bitch" will only illicit an incredibly sarcastic reply from me. i'm not here to massage your fragile ego! So, if you're a control freak, a swinger, have ever had any sub tendencies or are just into kinky sex. Do me a favour, pass on by my profile, cos i seriously ain't interested!! Oh yeah, and a basic understanding of grammar. You're not your. How're not hows and lastly definitely does NOT have an A in it, anywhere!

9/30/2010 2:34:57 PM
Currently coughing, sneezing, sweating and being generally contagious! Need to be well for the Big Charity bash on saturday. So much yet to do, so not feeling up to it. i refuse to be ill, it's just not acceptable. i don't have time for it! Blasted subbie mates sharing their germs! Taking sharing is caring a bit too far for my liking! Lufffs ya really my little angel xx

9/29/2010 4:28:25 AM
SO many squeemish Doms out there! What's wrong with a few needles in the tits/nipples and a bit of blood? FFS, Man Up will ya! and yes, i smoke, drink, swear and fart too!

9/28/2010 2:56:31 PM
i've got bronchitis and have nearly lost my voice, which some might say is a bonus lol. It's like coughing/swallowing razor blades :(

9/26/2010 3:31:54 PM
A truly wonderful weekend. My little hippy angel spoilt me rotten. Thank you gorgeous xxxxxx

9/23/2010 3:11:54 AM
i give up! i really don't understand. Why put in time and effort, make out like you're interested, then just disappear? Reality to difficult for you to cope with? Bunch of wankers, the lot of you!

9/21/2010 3:29:06 AM
i'm not having a good day! Don't think lack of sleep is helping :(

9/20/2010 4:32:24 PM
Well That was an experience i could have done without!!! Today, i had 3 youths kick down my front door and rob my house. . . while i was still IN IT! i am not a happy bunny. i didn't even put up a fight, i'm getting too old for all this shit! i so need to move again!

9/15/2010 2:27:58 AM
Lesson #1 Do NOT go drinking whiskey with the T28 boys on a school night!

9/14/2010 7:32:49 PM
It's stupid o'clock. i've had a brilliant day/night. Millwall are still undefeated at home, Get in there you Mighty Lions!!! and The Bear is still making me smile . . . Lots! Have my white shirt, frilly knickers (fuschia pink no less) school tie, suitably laddered stockings for saturday, just need a short school skirt now and i'm all set to go! Happy Days *GRINS*

9/14/2010 3:56:07 AM
Cleaning Poem I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer 'yes.' He told me to get off my butt, And tidy up the house. And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse. I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick... I was just admiring my good work. I didn't mean to 'click.' But click, I did, and oops - I found A real absorbing site That I got SO way into it - I was into it all night. So nothing's changed except my mouse. It's as shiny as the sun. I guess my house will stay a mess..... While I sit here on my bum.

9/13/2010 11:09:47 AM
Well, i very possibly, may have found Him. An older, naturally dominant, alpha male with a sense of humour! There i was, all ready to just about give up too. Who'da thunk it eh?

9/11/2010 12:08:20 AM
Well, it's been a funny old week. Just got my laptop back, hard drive decided it couldn't go on any longer and just wimped out on me. Came home from a weekend away, at my parents Golden (50th) wedding anniversary party (Huge success) to find the fridge/freezer'd had a nervous breakdown in my abscence, such a terrible waste of food. Gave in and saw a doctor, under duress. Turns out i'm just a menopausal hypochondriac (grins)and i had a birthday. Lunch with one of my favourite Dommes (she hates being called that lol)drinks with some of my old customers (i'm a publican by trade)visited some old friends(?)and home to dinner made by my lovely teenager (cheesey mash and gravy)well, at least we know she aint gonna be a chef LMAO! Bear put a smile on my face yesterday, along with Da General, who fixed my laptop (what a hero!)and we're back round to the weekend. Think i'll have a quiet one though. Dungeon next weekend, crewing again and it should be a lively one (Grins)

9/3/2010 12:55:19 PM

9/3/2010 1:22:23 AM
Can someone explain the purpose of online sub/slaves to me, because i just don't get it. i can understand it as part of a real time relationship, especially if it's a long distance thing, but purely online? i just don't get it!

9/2/2010 2:40:02 PM
Early night tonight. my legs are aching from being up that ladder for so long, sorting out the roof. Though why it became my job and not my brother, the ex roofers job i don't know! . . . . Oh yes i do, beacause he's a cunt, who will only do Anything if he gets paid for it! Tomorrow will be spent getting the house spotless in time for the guests. Do as much food prep as is possible, so that all the oldies have to do on saturday is, sit back, look good and enjoy their day. Long, hot soak in the bath and an early night for me.

9/1/2010 1:22:13 PM
i've had a good day! i've laughed a LOT, which is never a bad thing. Carrots up the arse whilst wearing bunny ears was a particularly amusing moment. Still totally knackered, due to the oncoming celebrations at the weekend. i'll be SO glad to see it all come to fruition (my parents Golden Wedding Anniversary). Happy Days, such an achievement in this day and age. i love them both with all my heart and soul but (sorry mum and Dad) i'll be glad of the rest when it's all over *huge smiles*. Love you both more than words will ever be able to express. p.s. Thank you again to the Bear for making me laugh and smile (lots) today

9/1/2010 2:32:29 AM
A HUGE thank you to everyone for all their kind words and thoughts yesterday. They helped me immensely. Also a special thank you to a certain Bear for making me laugh out loud not only yesterday, but today as well.

8/31/2010 12:24:35 AM
Sending 48th birthday wishes to my late and very great husband. 13 years have slipped by us already this year. We still think of you daily. Play your music, tell your awful jokes and puns. i wont say that it's stopped hurting, because it never does, but each year that goes by, we learn to cope without you a little better. Rest In Peace my love. We'll see you on the other side. . . one day xxx

8/24/2010 9:18:26 AM
Off to The New Den with my kid, release some tension and try and beat the 'drop' . . . here's hoping!

8/23/2010 1:33:34 AM
Orgasm control . . . a particularly cruel and unusual punishment, don't you think? Personally, i am a dedicated wanker, it relieves stress, costs the health service not a penny and helps tone stomach and arm muscles. Where's the harm in that?

8/23/2010 1:30:06 AM
Well, it's the morning after the weekend before. Thank you's have been sent to the Dungeon Mother and to the Giver of Bruises, a Sorry for leaving my fennel behind, No, that's not a euphemism, and Well done's to the newbies. Think that's all my duties done, good manners cost nothing an all that stuff. As for today, well, today, i shall mostly be saying . . . . Ouch and waiting for the drop!

8/22/2010 12:32:32 PM
Well, i told you i had a feeling, didn't i? . . . . Always trust your instincts. Brilliant night at the dungeon (i have the bruises to prove it lol)

8/21/2010 12:02:45 AM
i've got a feeling . . ooooo hoooo . . . . that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's going to be a good good night!

8/20/2010 6:13:17 AM
Dungeon tomorrow!!! i am soooooo looking forward to it, not been for ages. Will be great to catch up with everyone as well. i've earned this night out *grins*

8/16/2010 9:45:35 AM
i stink!!! . . . i really should work out more often, despite another night of insomnia, i feel really alive after that.The steaming hot bubble bath, yes, steaming hot, burn your bollix type bath, is going to be heaven *smiles*

8/15/2010 2:08:26 AM
i ache ALL over, was it worth it? i ask myself . . . . . . Damn right it was!!

8/14/2010 12:49:25 AM
Taking my babygirl to her first ever football match at The New Den today *big smiles* COYL

8/12/2010 12:41:45 AM
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life and . . . . . . . i'm feeling goooooooood

8/11/2010 6:31:52 AM
i got stood up! Waited for an hour like the good (foolish) subbie that iam and . . . Nothing, zilch, zero, nada. No phone call, no text, no nothing. Still, on the bright side, it is a beautiful day out there and i had a lovely stroll through the park . . . .twice! lol

8/11/2010 12:25:25 AM
Gooooood morning fellow pervs . . . The sun is shining, the sky is blue, it's gonna be a good day. i can feel it in my bones . . or is that my arthritis playing up again?

8/9/2010 11:50:45 PM
Smile . . . Every day is a Happy Day :)

8/8/2010 11:30:26 PM
i'm not a violent person, in any way shape or form, BUT i have an overwhelming urge to batter the granny out of someone today. Not just anyone, a particular someone. For the second time, in a matter of months, one of my children has been mauled by a dog. My eldest daughter, out walking her dog, who i might add is as soppy as a sackful of hammers, was attacked by another dog. Her dog's brother. Poor smudge has over 50 wounds to his body, including torn snout, ear, tail and scrotum. My daughter, wounds to the hands, arms and legs. The arrogant, chav bully who taught his dog to be a lethal weapon (yes lethal, it's killed before) has sweetly(?) told my daughter that if she reports him, he will have her shot and her dog badger baiting by morning and for the rest of it's life. His mother must be so proud of him. My daughter and the rest of the little village they live in, are all scared witless of this bully. Now, i'm a great believer that violence begets violence, but for fucks sake. Some people really should be put down, for the common good. i now know his name and address, do i act on it? hmmmmmmmmm . . . . . . . . .

8/8/2010 2:07:20 AM
i do believe i have the day off. . ish. Woohoo!

8/5/2010 12:06:02 AM
South East London to Bexley Heath and back again. Not as bad by public transport as i thought it was going to be. Yesterday i said Good Bye to a great man. A man with 2 mottos in life 1) Every day is a happy day and 2) Give a little bit, take a little bit. He was a kind, generous, funny, fair and very stubborn man. He will be greatly missed by all those who knew him. Rest In Peace Albert. We will miss you forever xxx

8/3/2010 2:05:01 AM
Daughterly Duty Day today. my poor old mum suffers from not only osteoarthritis (from neck to toes)week long migraines (for which she has to inject herself)but a most debillitating condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia (google it). Today, the poor woman is in agony and as my poor old Dad is on oxygen 16 hours a day due to Emphysema, it's down to me to see to all their needs. i'm their daughter, they have been fantastic to me, it's the least i can do. i just wish i could ease their pain :(

8/2/2010 4:52:54 AM
i have a distinct lack of something interesting to do today. Not even any trolls about to verbally destroy. A bored jozz is a mischievous jozz!

8/2/2010 4:08:08 AM
Dontcha just love those emails that start with "i've read your profile and i'm very interested" only to read on and find out that they are everything you have stated that you're not interested in? Good grief people, at least put some effort in. If you're going to say you've read my profile, then fucking read it! Otherwise just say "I saw your photo and thought, Yeah, let's give it a shot" Wankers!!!!

7/29/2010 3:16:15 AM
Busybusybusybusy weekend coming up! One dungeon party, two birthday parties and one football match. Woohoo! Bring it on!

7/28/2010 1:31:10 AM
i am having a yoyo day today (already) so i will either be suicidal or manic when you talk to me, depending on which mood you catch me in. T&C's apply and these can vary at any time. Moods can go up as well as down!

7/27/2010 5:07:55 AM
i'm going to Dartford tonight to meet Mr Kenny Jackett . . . i am sooooo excited. Who's a lucky girl *unmovable grin on my face*

7/24/2010 11:31:53 PM
Well, No Younger is obviously very hard to understand, yet again i have a mailbox full of KIDS telling me how they want to train me. . . FUCK OFF! Learn to read, absorb and respect other peoples wishes you egotistical bunch of cunts!

7/23/2010 9:45:52 AM
my profile clearly states. . . NO younger and NO switches . . . is that really SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

7/23/2010 12:29:53 AM
The Awakening... by Maa Gyaan A time comes in your life when you finally get it -- when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH!" Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your Awakening. ღ♥ღ You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety, and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming nor Cinderella. And that, in the real world, there aren't always fairy-tale endings (or beginnings, for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you -- and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself -- and in the process, a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself -- and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and human frailties -- and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with -- .and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK, and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want -- and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect -- and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve -- and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone -- and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that bad things sometimes happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn to not personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design as best you can the life you want to live.

7/18/2010 2:55:23 AM
i got beaten up on my way home last night :( Well, not really beaten, but i do have lots of sore bits and a few bruises. BRING BACK NATIONAL SERVICE!!!! Fucking kids!

7/17/2010 1:13:49 AM
Happy 125th Birthday Millwall F.C. Huge party in Millwall Park today, our original home. Gonna be a reat day out *grins*

7/16/2010 5:05:32 AM
Cough Cough Cough cough, cough, i've just seen an advert for . . cough, cough, cough, virtual slaves . . Cough, Cough, cough cough, cough . . Oh Stop It! Please . . . too funny . . cough, cough, cough your killing me cough, cough

7/16/2010 2:53:08 AM
Finally . . Ahhhhhhhhhh that's better!

7/15/2010 7:14:55 AM
What the fuck is the big deal wiv spanking? Will someone please explain it to me! Cos i don't get it, i really don't get it and canes. . . ohhhh i hate canes, i mean really Really hate canes. Wanna see me go from sub to psycho? . . easy, just bring a cane, i'll show you!

7/15/2010 4:06:06 AM
Fakes, frauds, fuckwits and halfwits . . ohhhhh and let us not forget the "I've forgotten more than you could ever know" crowd. What a bunch of bollox! No! i ain't gonna be your slave (i'll never give up my freedom of choice) get a dog for fucks sake. Do i wanna be your toilet? Get a life, what do you think? Fuck toy?. . . errr. . . blow up doll. Do i really need to go on? *reaches for whiskey, cranks the music up to drown the banging in my head and looks for the next troll to verbally destroy!!!!*

7/11/2010 10:10:26 AM
Sunburnt, hungover but soooooo worth every minute of it! People watching has never been so funny, we even ended up with an audience, cos we were so amusing . . . allegedly!

7/10/2010 3:18:44 AM
On my way to Bermondsey. Damn, i'm in demand this weekend lol

7/9/2010 4:39:45 PM
Now that's what it's all about! A fun day. Excellent company. Good food, drink and conversation. It was a face achingly rib huting damn good laugh today. Brilliant! Knew it would be *Grins*

7/9/2010 3:26:39 AM
A heart stoppingly breath taking orgasm, playing with my clit whilst thinking of you fist fucking me while having my arse fucked . . . . That did the trick! *laughs out loud*

7/9/2010 1:03:25 AM
Take 1 Domme, 1 CD Dom, 1 female Switch and 1 female Submissive and what do you have? One hell of a girly day out to the coast!!!! Bring it on! i am soooo looking forward to this! *Huge Grin*

7/8/2010 1:34:37 PM
i've enjoyed my day being facebook DJ, got to play some xracking tunes. i knew what the link was (at all times) to the different tracks even if you couldn't spot it . . . . just don;t ask me what they were now lol

7/8/2010 11:42:04 AM
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you Put it in the soul of everyone Do you know what you want? You don't know for sure You don't feel right, you can't find a cure And you're gettin' less than what you're lookin' for You don't have money or a fancy car And you're tired of wishin' on a falling star You gotta put your faith in a loud guitar Chorus: God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you Gave rock and roll to everyone (oh yeah) God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you Put it in the soul of everyone More lyrics: Reckon that about sums it up! Don't you?

7/7/2010 2:50:39 AM
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fucking mosquito!

7/6/2010 3:21:40 AM
Marrows up a virgin bottom and eating shit on a first date .. . . . pissing in public and piercings on a second meet . . . *sighs* some people. Oh well, thursday's now free *laughs*

7/6/2010 2:39:45 AM
So Cristiano Ronaldo is going to be a father. . the crying, the temper tantrums, the falling over . . . poor child is never gonna get any peace wiv all that noise coming from daddy!

7/5/2010 6:01:38 AM
The sun is shining! The music is pumping and i got to speak to a real person! Funny, intelligent and erudite. Damn i got an unmovable smile on my face today!

7/5/2010 3:32:46 AM
i am obscenely full of life today! Nowhere to go and no money to go there with! Buggerbuggerbugger! i shall just have to torment the life out of people on t'interweb! *weg* Watch out chatrooms, the jozzler is full o mischief!

7/4/2010 4:15:53 AM
Ohhhhhhh i aint had this much fun on here since i first joined! CM are throwing some brilliant profiles and photos at me this morning! Blokes sucking their guts in and trying their damndest to look 'manly' funny as fuck! As for the "You will sign your womb over to me" bloke, i was crying wiv laughter, seriously, do you get up at 5.30am every day to get your head outta your own arse in time to go to work for 9? And always, always there's at least 1 email from the "on your knees bitch/cunt" mob. For fuck sake man! i'm nearly 46, years of coming off bikes and playing rugby, with my knees? Are you serious? Yeah i can get on my knees, just takes me a coupla hours and a block n tackle to get back off them! Too funny for words! Yes, i swear and drink and smoke! So fucking what!

7/4/2010 2:05:59 AM
Best start to a sunday i've had in ages. Just read one of the funniest profiles i've seen in a long long time. Humour goes a long way wiv me. i'd like to say it's honest, but not actually knowing the geezer, i cant say that. It is however very open, no bullshit, no holds barred and funny as fuck. Blogs too, excellent. Than you for your email and putting a smile on my face, you know who you are . . well, possibly not, but i'd like to think you recognise yourself here . . . *wanders off still chuckling*

6/21/2010 12:47:12 PM
My youngest daughter was mauled by a vicious dog yesterday.One of the worst days of my life! Thankfully, she will heal without to many scars. People. . muzzle your animals FFS!

6/12/2010 9:31:42 AM
No beer! No cigarettes! No money! BUT Footie's on the tv! COME ON ENNNNNNNNNGERRRRRRRRRLANNNNNNND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6/10/2010 1:31:08 AM
i've been really lax at updating my journal lately, but i've been so damned busy i just haven't had the time or, to be honest, the inclination to! As is normal in my household, one moves out, another moves in. One of these days i may finally get some time and space to myself. . . i live in hope :)

5/30/2010 2:26:48 AM
What an amazing weekend. The Nutta and myself are suitably drained but happy! Wonder if we made it into any of the newspapers? lol

5/27/2010 5:12:33 PM
Left my phone at a friends house . . . i feel so lost!!! But only 2 more sleeps til Wembley *grins* look out for me on the t.v. lol

5/24/2010 11:40:39 PM
Oh My Days!!! i have such a hangover! i now remember why i gave up drinking. i don't like hangovers! BUT i have a strong feeling it's going to be one of those weeks. Roll on saturday . . . . No one likes us, no one likes us, no one likes us . . . and We don't Care!!

5/18/2010 4:12:54 PM
Footie tonight! Cracking game! We're going to Wembley yayyyyyyyyyyyy! i'm a happy bunny *grins*

5/16/2010 7:43:32 AM
Time for me to go home now *sighs* i've had a brilliant weekend. Cheers subgoddess, you're a diamond mwuahhhhhh

5/15/2010 4:34:18 AM
If you have sent me mail and i've not replied, then i apologise. i have now cleared my mail box so as to start afresh. Try again, you might be luckier this time around *grins*

5/15/2010 2:44:25 AM
Another trying and traumatic week! My daughter is now in the clear and out of hospital *HUGE sigh of relief* i am now going to get very very drunk with one of my fav sub friends who is 'Sirless' for the weekend. Partayyyyyyyyyy *laughs* always gets a bit messy when we're allowed to be together. i am grinning sooo much already! Have a great weekend everybody.

5/11/2010 2:57:45 PM
. . . is slowly orbiting tonight, and it's hardly surprising!

5/10/2010 7:25:47 PM
It seems to permaently be stupid o'clock round here! What's going on?

5/8/2010 7:18:19 PM
It's stupid o'clock . . again! i have just got home, but i finally think that all is going to be alright for my friends, it's all back on track. Which means, i have time to sort my own shit out now *sighs* . . Can't put it off forever i suppose! Hope everyone has had a fantastic weekend. Health & Happiness to one and all xxx

5/8/2010 11:51:12 AM
A night to raise our glasses,wipe our tears and say our goodbyes. Sad but cathartic. Cheers!

5/7/2010 3:12:41 PM
Theoretically, i am back online! my technical issues are now sorted out . . . Allegedly!!!!!

4/30/2010 3:14:50 AM
Why does life always have to be so Fucking hard? i'm of an age, where life should at least have some rhyme or reason to it by now. *sighs* i'm very close to deleting myself from everywhere on the internet. Moving house (yet again) and just disappearing. i cry for no reason, laugh for no reason and i'm not sure that i can keep supporting those around me, without just crumbling. i don't have anything left to give. i feel empty. As much as i love them all, i feel i'm holding everbody else up and they're not even noticing that their weight is slowly pushing me under. In a nutshell . . . i'm not coping very well.

4/27/2010 3:03:40 PM
i am deformed! It is a distinct possibility that i have a molar abcess. Until this is confirmed and treated, i have a face tat is half human, half elephant woman. i have trouble recognising myself in the mirror at the best of times! i am never who i expect to see, but now! It's even worse. No-one expects to see this ffs!

4/19/2010 12:46:59 AM
A few hours in the sunshine yesterday, appears to have brought me out in a rash of . . . . freckles!

4/18/2010 10:52:29 AM
Huge Big Grin on my face! For no other reason than, the sun is shining, i spent a wonderful day surrounded by family and i'm alive. i am blessed. Huge Big Grin on my face.

4/15/2010 3:51:47 AM
Sliding, slowly, back down the hole. The hands reach out, i turn away. Tears burn my cheeks, i want to be strong. i need to fight, find my own way back. Surrounded by love, yet never more alone. Everyone's friend, no-ones lover. Always there, everyones mother. i need to escape, want to run.

4/14/2010 3:19:38 AM
In pain and not the good sort. Feeling lonely and miserable :( Gonna have a duvet day!

4/12/2010 3:40:43 AM
is feeling . . .

4/11/2010 9:12:12 AM
Excellent weekend at the dungeon . . . as per usual *grins* Fantastic company! and now . . . i Need my bed!

4/10/2010 8:39:13 AM
Listen . . . . . . . . . when i Want your opinion . . . . . . . . . i'll give it to you! . . . *laugh out loud*

4/9/2010 10:27:44 PM
Having a bit of a mental time right now . . . if you've sent me mail, i will get round to answering you as soon as i can. Sorry it's taking a while *smiles*

4/8/2010 1:38:51 AM
*grins* going to the park with my eldest her fiance and the dog . . they said if i behave myself, i can have an ice cream *laughs*

4/7/2010 12:18:07 PM
i officially Hate my dongle!!!!!!!!!!

4/6/2010 11:19:36 AM
Ok! . . . Serious re-write imminent for my profile . . cant take much more of the "be a good girl" . . "do as your told" . . "call Me Sir" . . bollocks that i keep getting sent! FFS! i can almost understand it from the kids, but you 50/60+ geezers really need to get offline and get a fucking real life!

4/6/2010 2:05:19 AM
What a glorious day in South East London. The windows are open. The coffee is brewing. The bread is baking. It's going to be a wonderful day . . . . . . . famous last words *laughs*

4/5/2010 1:29:14 AM
So far down the lights have gone out the only sounds my heartbeat ragged breath mind whirling. i'm sinking deeper in the mire sucking me down draining my life force nothing left to give no fight left in me. Gasping for air huge weight on my chest cant breathe my heart's going to stop i cant go on head tilted for air. and then . . my feet hit something solid they're on the ground i can go no further down still the pressure suffocating a sound? Hallucinations? No! another noise, a voice a glimmer of light help me! The light gets brighter noises louder i squint i cringe closer it comes and then . . Voices soothing voices helping hands pulling me free upwards towards the light stronger. Comforting arms surrounded too much so many people such love such warmth. Surrounded by love i cringe away cant cope gently, softly i'm pulled back to the embrace. They give me love strength hope, to carry on They are my friends They wont let me drown if They can fight for me . . i can draw on their strength i Can go on.

4/4/2010 2:34:45 AM
Falling. . . is the easy bit. Getting back up . . . is a lot harder!

4/4/2010 2:16:56 AM
Off on another mercy mission! Camden, here i come! *sighs*

4/2/2010 3:59:24 PM
Friday night. . snuggles under the duvet . . pizza . . The Blues Brothers . . just me and the kid . . Heaven *smiles*

4/2/2010 5:48:02 AM
Woohoo! i now have plans for the holiday weekend. My babygirl, the fiance and the baby are coming to visit. Happy days! *grins* i miss her, hate it that she lives so far away.

4/2/2010 1:45:05 AM
i knew i shouldn't have tried it! Always the same result! Once in a blue moon, it actually does me some good. This time? Usual crap! Terrifying. Upsetting! Going to take me a few days to get over it this time. Sleep is NOT good for me! Opens up a whole can of worms every bloody time!

4/1/2010 11:00:23 AM
At a surprising loose end . . . sighs . . dunno what to do with myself now :(

4/1/2010 7:25:38 AM
i need somewhere that i can blog my thoughts and feelings, that is not quite such a public forum as this. Any suggestions?

4/1/2010 6:35:48 AM
Oh! i can be such a child sometimes! *laughs* . . . . . . i refuse to change this aspect of me *Grins*

4/1/2010 3:49:02 AM
Let battle commence . . *LAUGHS*

3/31/2010 1:50:55 PM
Huge nervous grin on my face . . . . . i Do set myself up sometimes! *Laughs*

3/31/2010 6:32:30 AM
i'm having a much better day today *smiles*. It's good to laugh. i like laughing, it makes me feel good. Had a wonderful night out, at a very good friends house. She's good for me, helps me see things from an alternative point of view. Wicked woman . . . . Fabulous! *Laughs*

3/31/2010 4:15:35 AM
Evidently, so i have been told. i am not only a fake and a scammer, but i have 2 profiles, 1 claiming that i'm in my 20's!!! ROFL. i hated my 20's! Bad time for me, i wouldn't o back there if you paid me! There really are some very strange people out there!

3/30/2010 9:00:20 AM
i'm signing out before my head implodes!

3/30/2010 7:53:17 AM
It would appear that some of my journal entries have caused offence! If i have offended Anyone, in any way, then i am sorry. My posts are my way of venting and are always from the heart.

3/30/2010 5:34:41 AM
Support comes from the most unexpected places. Restores your faith. There ARE some good people out there!

3/30/2010 4:58:24 AM
Manic Depression/Bipolar disorder call it what you want. It makes my life/life With me, very bloody difficult, specially when combined with muti personality schizophrenia/D.I.D. A very good friend told me last night, that i am unlikely to ever find a 24/7 Dom because of my illness. That was hard to hear! Do i roll over and give in? Try going back to 'nilla? i really don't know anymore. i just know that right now. i'm very disillusioned! Bollox!

3/30/2010 1:32:04 AM
i'm beaten! (not physically) i'm honestly beginning to wonder if 'real Doms' are just as rare as hens teeth. A thing of myth and legend. Because there certainly are none to be found round here!!!!!!!!!!!

3/29/2010 3:09:41 PM
It's been a strange old day. One of mixed emotions. Oh well, live and learn. Hopefully jozz. Hopefully!

3/29/2010 5:08:32 AM
What a shitty start to the week! Dumped by email!! Now that's cold! Shame, he's a nice bloke and i really do wish him well. Anyway, had an absolutely cracking weekend. i am officially "The Worst Crew In The World EVER" but i'm certainly entertaining *laughs*. Got to try out being a domme! i'm ok at dishing out pain not so good with the whole control thing, i tell 'em off, then instantly feel guilty *laughs*. How much fun can one person have in a lifetime?

3/27/2010 1:12:58 AM
*GRINS* Dontcha just LOVE it when everything just falls into place? Woohoo! Dungeon party now added to the weekends already busy schedule. Anyone else wants the pleasure of my company, better book now cos very few time slots left. ROFL. Busybusybusy!

3/26/2010 4:55:52 AM
Yayyyyy it's nearly the weekend *smiles* A whole weekend already booked with people who want the pleasure of my company *Grins*. Happy Days!

3/25/2010 4:56:46 PM
Been a good day today, relatively pain free (arthritis wise). Lots of arrangements made to meet friends, old and new and an invite to be flower girl at a very good friends collaring at easter. i am sooo excited for her *Grins* Yep, it's been a good day today *smiles*

3/25/2010 8:42:28 AM
i feel like i should be writing something important here. . But i really can't be arsed . . so i wont! :D

3/24/2010 4:05:14 AM
i'm having a Led Zeppelin day today........................ Dazed and Confused!!!!!!!!!

3/23/2010 11:39:30 AM
Have i been abondoned?.............Again! *sighs*

3/23/2010 7:11:57 AM
Starting to feel neglected :(

3/23/2010 5:12:01 AM
It's a new dawn, it's a new day and i'm feeling fine . . . Not sure who i'm annoying most with my music, myself or the neighbours *laughs*......... nah, definitely the neighbours! Good morning world. jozz is awake!!!!!!!

3/22/2010 2:06:25 PM
Not sure if i'm going down with something or if i'm just 'dropping' earlier than expected :( All shakey, achey and shivery! my hands are as steady as a rock, but i feel like i have shivers running down my spine, from the inside :( Bath, good cry and an early night methinks :(

3/22/2010 6:11:56 AM
Update. The Domme arse beating i received, was done wiv a thick rubber paddle *Grins*

3/22/2010 1:37:28 AM
The Weekend. Nightmare journey out of London on friday, didn't get to Wales until 10pm and our final destination not til 10am saturday morning. Went en masse to the beach at Tenby and what a mottley crew we looked *laughs*. i got tied to the train seat by my hair and not released until we got there :( Saturday night got a bit scarey when they brought out the suspension pole (well, it bloody well scared me)and nerves make me do/say silly things. It's a nervous reaction, but when i get given a whip by a Dom and told to crack another Dom across the arse with it . . . what am i supposed to do? Damned if i do, damned if i don't . . . evidently, so several people have said, i have a natural talent for whips. His face was priceless. Shock, horror, outrage follwed by 'WHO would dare do that to me?' the other Doms fell aout laughing. i tried to melt into the background. Man did he batter me. He wasnt impressed, though everyone else laughed when after the first flogging i started gyrating and pole dancing *grins* i'm a caring sharing sort of person, i dont like anyone to feel left out. So i gave his wife a slap across the arse as well. She proper laid into my arse, not sure what with, but know She didnt hold back. She also tried to brush my teeth with chocolate whilst i was tied . . sadistic. i'm telling you, i was so on form, there was a queue to beat my arse on saturday night, finally the whip gifting Dom *grins tightly* another battering. Yes i squeeled and muttered and swore, yes i deserved each and every stroke i received. Was it a good weekend? It was a brilliant weekend. The birthday Domme thoroughly enjoyed Herself. Laughed til She cried and gave me fantastic snuggles after my time on the pole. i really do have some wonderful friends *grins*

3/21/2010 3:59:29 AM
Battered, bruised, sore but what a weekend. Soooo much fun *Grins* i AM a total brat, but i dont do it on purpose lol, and yes, i did suffer for it (as usual) BUT i got to try out a whip pmsl.

3/19/2010 3:13:56 AM
i'm having a crisis of faith. It's not normal, is it? i'm going to spend the weekend miles away from civilisation, with no means of escape, with a group of perverts and sadists, who, at some point, are going to hurt me. Probably lots and i'll let them! What's more is, i'll say thank you. It's not normal or is it? i trust these people, though god alone knows why. It's hardly the activities of your average group weekender! *Sighs* Shut up and get on wiv it jozz. Just do as you're told, there's a good girl.

3/19/2010 2:57:20 AM
Buggerbuggerbugger! Time's running away from me today!

3/19/2010 2:25:19 AM
When You think of me, do it in the context of a puppy. That way, You'll never be disappointed. i am an eternal, playful puppy. (with the same memory span)

3/19/2010 1:55:58 AM
omgomgOMG! How do i get myself into these situations? i am so not ready for this weekend! Think i'll take my hair, plot up in the corner and work on this flogger lol. So wish BD was coming too :(

3/18/2010 8:35:31 AM
It would appear, that magic elixir i sought is called . . . . . . . Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream!

3/18/2010 7:29:14 AM
Bugger! my evil plan has been foiled. Looks like i'm going to have to leave the house after all. Fuck me, she's a whinging bitch wiv no sense of humour when she's ill. To save her meagre life (and for my own sanity) i must leave this cess pit which is full of plague and seek a cure. (Boots, here i come)

3/18/2010 7:05:06 AM
. . . looks at clock . . . hmmmmmm

3/18/2010 5:49:49 AM
11am has been an gone and still not a word :( Given up on sulking, starting to get on my own bloody nerves!

3/18/2010 2:21:48 AM
Sick babygirl :( Hungover son (who needs to go to work) :( i'm going back to bed! Sod this for a game of soldiers! :(

3/18/2010 12:51:25 AM
Violent music *grins* . . bit early, but who cares? Far too early a night, been awake since stupid o'clock, just me and my head *pouts*. Babygirl's poorly, all weekend's plans are up in the air! i'm still sulking!

3/17/2010 2:08:15 PM
Early night . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . still sulking :(

3/17/2010 1:49:18 PM
. . . . . still sulking!

3/17/2010 8:49:18 AM
methinks i feel a manic one coming on *smirks*

3/17/2010 8:16:32 AM
Sulking *pouts* A big, fat, stroppy sulk. Cup and saucer lip, the lot! Might even be a sulk of such mega proportions that it lasts all weekend!!!!!!!!! *stamps feet* Harrrrrumph!

3/17/2010 3:11:18 AM
i'm not quite sure what happened. Everything became very surreal. i'm confused. i'm going back to bed for an hour and i hope, that when i get back up, things will have resumed some form of normality! Harrrrrrumph!

3/17/2010 2:00:28 AM
Top O The Morning to ye! Happy St Patricks Day One and all *smiles* Hope everyone has a fantastic day. The sun is shining here in London town, it's gonna be a good day. i can feel it in my bones (damned arthritis lol)

3/16/2010 3:40:47 PM
i didn't fail, because, i did my best. i still feel disappointed in myself though. Something so simple as a mental image, can have such an impact! i tried hard, i tried my best. Just another weakness i'll have to work on. It's been a good day. Life is all about learning and growing *smiles*

3/16/2010 7:57:31 AM
i don't know what to write today. No witty observations. No words of wisdom. just *Sighs*

3/15/2010 6:37:19 AM
i said sorry, honest i did. *smiles* i had my leash tugged today, for being a brat :( Her hand was hovering over the phone to call BD and tell Him. i said sorry *smiles* AND i meant it!!! Sorry.

3/15/2010 3:18:53 AM
i've been up for a whole 2 hours and i'm ready for my bed again. Told you that bug had bitten me didn't i? lol

3/14/2010 2:45:25 PM
Good evening Laydeees and Genitalmean. Today has been a good day (again) admittedly, i have slept through most if it, but hey, look on the good side. i've slept, at long last *smiles* Spent last nights 'wages' on flowers for muvva and i got 2 txt messages, 2 kisses, a facebook message and a card! How blessed am i? *smiles*. Early night tonight, gotta feeling the sleep bug has bitten me again. Happy Days *smiles*

3/14/2010 11:23:01 AM
*GRINS* The girl done good! Didn't spill anything, didn't drop anything. Was polite, witty and did as i was told. BD was proud of me *grins* . . Fuck! i was/am proud of me! What could, potentially, have been a disaster, was a complete success all round *grins*. i wore my training collar with pride. My fav' Dommes approved and are happy for me. Damn, He just got on with everyone.*grins* i am So happy!! i even coped with serving in those damned slut shoes, got sore feet and blisters today, but it was worth it. i did it!!!!!!!!!!! *grins* Dunno what you were all worried about *laughs*. Thank You BD *grins* (again)

3/13/2010 6:07:30 AM
Time for a bath and to make myself look beautiful . . i may be some time lol. Have progressed form feeling sick to actually being sick! Gonna be a loooong day!

3/13/2010 2:40:13 AM
i feel sick! Physically sick. Not sure if it's nerves, the morphine or a combination of the two. i want to put my collar on. i need to feel safe. If i feel closer to BD, i'll feel more secure. He makes me feel safe and i trust Him to keep me safe. Fuck! i am SO damned nervous! Sorry about all the swearing, but i'm fucking scared! Ohhhh, i feel sick :(

3/13/2010 1:19:04 AM
Typical. Fucking typical!!!! 2 hours sleep ffs! Today of all days. i needed to have slept well, be rested and functioning at my best! Not a hope in hell! Over tired, grumpy, uber sarcastic and having sleep deprived hallucinations! Deep joy . . Not. Gonna be a long, long day. i know that i can only do my best . . . is my best gonna be good enough though? Ohhhhhhhhwaahhh! me and my big bloody gob! Let's hope the morphine patches keep up the wonderful job they're doing lol

3/12/2010 6:41:38 PM
As i lay me down to sleep, legs crossed demurely at the feet. i try to relax, not worry about fate. And hope that sleep comes, before the dawn breaks. Good night everyone. Yes BD, i'm panicking! *smiles*

3/12/2010 3:57:38 PM
i sear, if my grin gets any bigger, it'll engulf my whole face. i have just seen BondageDelights 'update' *GRINS* Thank You xxxxxxxxxx

3/12/2010 11:17:06 AM
OMFG! i am so laughing out loud! i really Do get the most ludicrous mail on this site sometimes lolol. We should be able to have some kind of shit filter built into the mail LOL

3/12/2010 11:13:53 AM
*Grins* i've had a good day today. Early pain and paranoia very soon gave way to a warm snuggly feeling . . . and pain lol. We want shopping today *grins* i got my first ever training collar *Grins* Thought it was gonna be hard, wearing it at the counter whilst i asked for my tag to be engraved "BD's PLAYTOY". It wasn't that bad, until i had to ask the young girl to put it on my collar for me *blushes*. Did my usual and cracked a joke (at my own expense)to cover my embarassment, cos i'm good at that, ain't i Sir? *GRINS* Also got to introduce BD to some of my friends tonight. Think i was more nervous about that than i was the collar *smiles* mainly cos they're all trouble makers. They are! Each and everyone of them. They'll say i've been bad when i haven't cos they think it's funny getting me in trouble.Honest! Also got some amazing pain medication, which i must admit, is making me a trifle more of a space case than usual, But they're doing the job *smiles* the pain is easing, got a pleasant night of absolutely sod all to do this evening. So i'm gonna sit back, relax,watch crap tv and try my damndest not to think about tomorrow *laughs*. Yes! Today was a good day! *grins*

3/11/2010 11:56:38 PM
ow ow ow Ow OW OWWWWWWW!!! Some bugger's beaten the crap outta me in my sleep! See what happens when you sleep? Not good for you, only did it for an hour and now look at me! Can hardly move, cant breathe properly. That's it! i refuse to sleep anymore, it's confirmed (in my head) sleep is bad for you!!

3/11/2010 12:28:08 PM
for the foreseeable future, i will be assuming my normal state . . . of complete confusion!

3/11/2010 7:31:09 AM
Gutted . . Went to my old blog and they've changed the layout. i can't blog *looks distraught* and really bloodywell need to! Not a happy bunny :(

3/11/2010 5:08:48 AM
Hmmmmmmmmmm Nothing else. just . . Hmmmmmmmmmmm

3/11/2010 2:50:56 AM
All parties have now been spoken to, as required. Addy's exchanged. Protocol established. Webcam now installed, just have to sort out this bloody flogger now! Missing You and just a tad concerned :(

3/11/2010 12:52:53 AM
No sleep again . . fighting demons through the night and into the morning. . . wish i knew what was going on :(

3/10/2010 12:40:57 PM
Fighting paranoia :(

3/10/2010 9:08:11 AM
Another first!!!!!!!!!! Just replied to an email and used the words "i already have an owner" . . . that felt good. Still smiling :D

3/10/2010 6:14:30 AM
Well, i have successfully managed to waste the best part of the day, just chatting, being a 'brat' and trying to stay out of trouble. i'm shattered, this staying out of trouble business is hard work!! Time i had a nap *grins cheekily* (cos i do it soooo well lol)

3/9/2010 3:45:34 PM
Today has been a day of smiles, smiles, pouts and fits of nervous giggles. i admit, i sulked about wearing a skirt, but yes, i now know why :) It's also been another day of firsts for me. Being given snap tasks, Outdoor bondage (karma Sir lol). It's made me feel good to do well and i was well rewarded, at least four times. Thank You :) i have been given more foundations, tasks, a project and more rules. Lots of information that i'm trying really, really hard to remember! The golf course was hard for me, so open. i felt so exposed, but . . i trust You to look after me, not to let me come to harm. Coming to heel was hard as well, my mouth might ave been quiet (for a change) but my head wasn't. It was very humbling. i feel more secure tonight, this is going somewhere. We're going on a journey together and i've a really good feeling about it. i'm smiling as i type this. Thank You for choosing me. Thank You for having faith in me. Just . . . Thank You :)

3/9/2010 10:21:04 AM
i Hate wearing skirts, really, really hate it *pout, sulk, mutters* been bloody good as well *muttermutter*

3/9/2010 6:38:58 AM
OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG! As if i wasn't nervous enough about the weekend already! fucketyfucketyfuckFUCK!

3/9/2010 2:33:03 AM
Was just given my first task of the day! Already done and with a willing smile. Still gotta big smile on my face. Feeling happy and loved today :D Thank You xxx

3/9/2010 2:28:18 AM
. . . a level of discomfort that will make pain seem a better option! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

3/9/2010 12:24:42 AM
Woohoo! A whole 4 hours hours, unbroken sleep . . not a lot, i know but it is progress lol. i have a rest day today, or should i say, there is no agenda today. . so far!! i do need to catch up on housework, washing and my hair!! Gotta do my hair before the weekend, on high protocol and need to look my best :)(fuck i am so nervous)

3/8/2010 2:40:19 PM
my eyes are tired, gritty, achey tired. i'm gonna be a good girl, listen to my body and go to bed. At least let it lay down an rest while my brain gets on with it's own thing lol Night night, sleep well :)

3/8/2010 12:12:11 PM
i'm exhausted, it's been a damned long day, but despite it being a serious occasion, we laughed. We laughed long and we laughed loud. Job done. i accomplished my task for the day :D i'm that tired, there's even a possibilty i might see my old pal sleep tonight lol

3/8/2010 12:04:30 AM
Early night but still not much sleep :( Still feeling 'shakey' inside, must make the effort to 'do' food today lol. Not up to another trip into town, but, a promise is a promise :)

3/7/2010 10:18:37 AM
Good day. Met some wonderful people. Been a very intense week though. Severe crash and burn now :( Tearful one minute, manic the next. No rhymme or reason to it. Got a feeling that sleep, at long, long last, might be actually paying a visit to my house! Fingers crossed eh?

3/7/2010 12:11:17 AM
Decisions, decisions. Do i go to LAM and put more faces to names? Have i got the courage to go on my own? More to the point, how much trouble am i likely to get myself into and is it worth the risk? Decisions, decisions. Hmmmmmmmm

3/6/2010 3:00:23 PM
i've missed You today.

3/6/2010 6:44:03 AM
i'm struggling a bit today.Todays instruction has been hard to do, but i've done it *smiles*. i'm finding holding my tongue, a lot harder, tho the sting of the dragon's still quite fresh in my mind (and on my thighs). i 'think' i'm doing ok. i am trying. Yes, i know, i know, VERY trying lol.

3/6/2010 3:56:32 AM
Feeling a bit lost today :( Dunno quite what to do with myself . . . . No! please don't mail me with suggestions!

3/5/2010 11:26:19 AM
Actions have consequences, don't they jozz? repeat after me, actions have consequences. Actions have consequences. i will learn . . . . eventually. i'm trying though, trying really hard.

3/4/2010 5:15:33 PM
Oh why can't i sleep? :(

3/4/2010 3:10:29 PM
6 whole hours in the blink of an eye. Yesterday was good. Today was better. i can't wait for tomorrow *Grins* Thank You xxx

3/3/2010 11:30:57 AM
please keep your arms inside at all times. hold onto your hats kids, we could be in for a bumpy ride. lmao

3/3/2010 10:04:25 AM
i'll shut up now, shall i?

3/3/2010 10:02:58 AM
Young upstart, thinks he can handle me eh? i'll be running rings round him in no time . . . . i'mjokingi'm jokingi'mjoking i'm Joking! Was funny though . . . . bet it made you smile. Didn't it? lol

3/3/2010 7:56:52 AM
i have just spent a wonderful few hours in the company of a very nice man. Dontcha just love it when you make a connection? Gonna do it all again tomorrow *grins*

3/2/2010 3:54:48 AM
i'm all bouncey, bouncey, happy happy, joy joy. Why? Cos the sun is shining, ok, it's not quite t-shirt weather, but it's a damn sight better than it has been, and because i'm alive. i'm gonna go to the park and play on the swings. *grins*

2/8/2010 8:33:13 AM
The laptop is fixed. Yayyy. i'll catch up with all my mail as soon as i can *smiles*

1/22/2010 6:15:59 AM
My new laptop lasted a whole 12 hours before i broke it :(
i sooo wish i knew what i was doing with these things, i hate being restricted to t'interweb cafes.

1/11/2010 9:32:37 AM
Yayyyyyyyyyyy. i'm baaaaaaaaack!!!

1/8/2010 8:58:35 AM
and STILL no damned internet connection!!!

1/5/2010 6:39:53 AM
Grrrrrr, frigging laptop died. Major money to repair so paid major money to replace instead grrrr

1/4/2010 6:38:58 AM
Starting to feel more human now. Time to venture out into the big wide world again . . well, maybe tomorrow. Who wants to buy me lunch? lol

1/2/2010 11:58:23 PM
Full of cold and feeling very sorry for myself *pouts* i need someone to look after me :(

12/30/2009 6:53:36 PM
Happy New Year O/one and A/all. Hope it's all Y/you wish for.

jozz xxxx

12/26/2009 5:33:30 PM
i am having just Sooooo much fun right now, i'm sure it can't all be legal LMAO. Health & Happiness E/everyone xxxxxx

12/24/2009 10:01:27 AM
Well, t's christmas eve (in London, Englandit is). So, seasons greetings and all that stuff to O/one and A/all. Hope it is all Y/you and Y/yours wish for as well as for the New Year. i've done all the housework, prepped all the food, dinner is ready for tonight, the only thing Not ticked on my list is. . Get Steaming Drunk! Woohoo, better watch out if you cum down my chimney santa, there's a cloth and bleach waiting for you to clean up your own mess! Happy Holidays O/one and A/all.

12/22/2009 9:34:43 AM
Always a houseful. Boychild's coming home to stay, better double up on the shopping!

12/21/2009 2:32:12 AM
~stamps foot, pouts and sulks~ i want my boiler fixed, NOW! Not fair,bloody slum landlords!

12/19/2009 10:47:13 AM
i do my best to answer each and every mail that i receive. Even if it's to say, Thanks, but no thanks. It's nice to be nice *smiles*

12/17/2009 7:04:17 PM
There's a kind of hush, all over the town, tonight . . that can only mean, it's been snowing. London looks so clean when it's snowed, for a few hours anyway!

12/16/2009 5:45:53 PM
This place is finally starting to look like 'home'. It actually looks quite cosy tonight, just need the frigging boiler and my back fixed and we're all sorted *smiles*.

12/16/2009 6:52:23 AM
Damn snow! xmas round the corner. Bah Humbug!

12/15/2009 7:39:38 PM
Flat out on the floor, trapped nerve, cant bloody sleep and according to my watch, it's stupid o'clock Again. It's going to be tomorrow again soon *pouts*.

12/13/2009 9:36:42 AM
i've run out of adrenalin, starting to crash now, but worth it!

12/13/2009 4:19:24 AM
Brilliant weekend. Conquered a couple of fears, pushed my limits and coped better than i thought i would *grins*. i'm a 'Good girl'. i've been told so!

12/8/2009 12:22:47 PM
Totally exhausted. Did half the move today, doing the rest tomorrow. White goods coming thursday, along with beds. Carpets friday. i hate moving!

12/6/2009 7:40:08 AM
Damn! Is it just me, or are there some VERY, very scary profile pics on this site? and i'm not talking about 'kit'photos, i mean the 'I'm a psycho killer) mug shots!

12/4/2009 1:57:01 AM
What kind of cold, callous, uncaring bastard puts a mother and her 14 yr old daughter on the streets, on the eve of there husbands/fathers death and two weeks before xmas? i'll tell you, the kind of bastard who is called Brian Fredercik and works for Lewisham council!

11/28/2009 3:10:16 AM
Busy busy busy busy busy weekend!

11/24/2009 5:00:05 AM
Reckless, fickle, unpredictable and that's just some of my good points!

11/18/2009 3:04:45 AM
One whole day! That's all i want, just one whole day, just for me, to do as i please.

11/17/2009 1:34:37 PM
Suicide is painless (in the words of the song)........but for Who? The suicidee maybe, not for those left behind. So, is it really the cowards way out? Does someone who commits suicide consider all these factors beforehand? The repercussions on friends, family etc? Of course they bloody well do! Anyone who commits suicide, ANYONE, is a truly desperate person and can see no other way out. DO NOT judge them by Your feelings of inadequacy! It was NOT your fault, they just could not See the help there for them. Life is a shit, we all just deal with it in different ways! LIVE. LOVE. LAUGH. LIKE IT'S YOUR LAST TIME! Health & Happiness Each & Every One of Y/you.

11/15/2009 3:24:03 AM
Didn't make it to the dungeon party, not feeling too good today :(

11/13/2009 4:09:28 AM
Have had a wonderful time, not looking forward to going home *sighs*. Still, party tomorrow yayyy!

11/10/2009 12:18:47 PM
On the east coast of England. Damned windy, but soooooo good to see my eldest daughter happy and settled. A peaceful, if cold, time at the seaside. Well earned.

11/9/2009 3:50:00 AM
i'm bored!! i have a whole day to myself for a change and am at a loss as to what to do *deep sigh*. i sooo need instruction and NO! that is not an open invite for every perv and wannabe Dom/me to mail me their sick little fantasies!

11/8/2009 4:50:35 AM
Well That was certainly an eye opener! What a brilliant night. East coast this week, dungeon party next weekend, damn but i'm having a ball.

11/6/2009 2:51:15 PM
Why do i always say 'yes' to everyone then end up with not enough hours in the day?

11/6/2009 4:41:12 AM
i've been searching for years, got sent a site last night, a blog site and for the first time ever, it all makes perfect sense! Thanks for that DD.

11/5/2009 9:58:27 AM
Been great having the eldest around. Seaside next week when we return the visit yay!

11/4/2009 4:33:53 AM
It would appear that my sense of humour is beyond some people! Oh well, live and learn eh?

11/4/2009 1:19:54 AM
i am currently holding interviews for the position for Dom, leading in time to the position of Sir and ultimately the position of Master. All applicants will be expected to submit a CV, successful candidates will then be invited to an interview. References will be required, as will past history, mental health and a medical history. Thank you.

11/3/2009 2:03:04 AM
Bouncing about like an over exhuberant (if very tired) puppy today. Eldest is coming down for a visit. A very, very happy and emotional jozz today. *Big Grins*

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