Endowedkitten19

Male Submissive, 25, Los Angeles, California

Male Submissive, 31, Los Angeles, California

Male Switch, 49, bayshore, New York

Being pregnant. Its a nightmare. And its almost over. I end this leg of my journey Hopefully on or near Feb. 6th. Then my beautiful ones....we can play!

Alo all. I am taking a break again from the kink side of life. This time it is for a happy reason! I just found out that I am pregnant! Wish us luck!

I have been feeling very very off lately. Been having strange dreams involving people I have long since cut out of my life. But lately it seems that, even though they were bad for me, they actually gave me an outlet for something I didn't know I needed an outlet for until tonight. I did some soul-searching and talked with my BF and my ex, who, by the way, is one of my closest friends. Most of my life I have been used in one way or another. I have also been controlled. I think will elaborate about being controlled first, then about how people have "used" me. First off, growing up I had a VERY controlling mother. Now that I am not living under her roof, I have no one to really control how my day goes. I have come to realize that I NEED some control and structure in my life. It drives me nuts with how much free time I have because for YEARS, i would get up at 6AM then head off to school for the day blahblah, you were in school once, you know how it was. But I got used to that. And now, without school or a job, my days are filled with no real schedule. When I have had jobs in the past, it made me happy. Not to just be making money, but to have an actual schedule. Same with school. I need someone who can help me get used to a daily schedule and stick to it. Also dieting and exercising planning would be a great plus, considering I really want to slim down for health reasons. I am by no means horribly obese but I am bout 50-80 lbs over weight and i want to change that. Why cant I do this myself, you may ask? Because I have tried. Many times to varying degrees of effort. And failed time after time. I need someone who can be a controlling figure, but a HELPFUL one. Now to my second point of this. Being used. Again, I use my mother as an example. I feel that when she would tell me that i needed to lose weight [even when i was younger, i was chubby--but really, telling a 12yr old shes never going to find love because shes 10Lbs[at the time] over weight?] that she was using me as an outlet because she felt bad about herself. Also being made fun of at school, by literally everyone[yes teachers too] for no apparent reason, I felt used. Me crying made them feel good. On up in the age bracket, oh, say around 16, I was just discovering sexuality. I had a car too so of course i was out of the house as often as i could possibly be. I started hanging around our local mall. I met an older man there and became the one he came to when his girlfriend at the time wouldn't give it up. I was young and naive but yet again, i was used. There have been occurrences like this throughout my life. Until about 8 months ago, when I met my current boyfriend. When we first started dating, everything was awesome. But then, after the first two weeks, I started to wait. I fell more and more in love with him, but I knew, just KNEW something was going to happen. Luckily, he was different than anyone Id ever met. He truly loved me back. He wasn't using me for a good fuck or a toy. I was amazed and gave him my heart, because I know he won't break it like so many others have done. But in the past week things have been off. Not with him, but with me. I got used to being someones toy. Lately ive been having nightmares, so I havent been sleeping much. Staying up 24+ hrs at a time just to avoid sleeping. For example, in one of my dreams, I am tied to my bed and blindfolded. I hear the door open and the man from the mall comes in and rapes me, then leaves. Leaving me broken on the bed. I have had other dreams but i only remember snippets and I dont feel up to sharing them at this point. I want to have an outlet for being used in a safe way. Hence, Play Top/Dom. Be someones toy but in a situation where after wards I will be respected and held, unlike the situation with mall guy where he would leave right after and then wouldn't call for two months. This is what has been on my mind and heart the past week or two. If you have advice or want to talk about helping me with one situation, or both, please, drop me a line.

Tired and bored..if youre in the winston area and youre bored too, send me a message! We could go play video games at the arcade! I just dont wanna go by myself. So if youre up for it!? Message me!!

Still looking for a job ><;; Hopefully SOMETHING will turn up. Also hopefully I will find a companion so I don't keep going crazy from being bored.

We have accepted our friends offer to train us. Until we get everything straightened out, we are looking for friends, maybe playpartners, and intelligent conversation.

Money troubles are still around, looking for a job is like pulling teeth here. ><;; We are currently considering an offer from a close friend on training BOTH of us. So looking for just friends right now.

Running into money troubles....bout ready to do most anything to get enough money for rent ><

I am in a relationship with a Dom male and have decided to be monagamous if it pleases him. I am His.

I have a .com account now as well. Same username :)

Made a new profile on here simply to meet new people. Maybe have a little fun while doing so. I am in a Poly/Open relationship with a subby male, and would not mind meeting a Dom/Top who fit into our little family we have aquired.?

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