Devilwoman2774

EROTIC SCREEN AND SOUND CONFERENCE 2011: CULTURE, MEDIA AND DESIRE: Red's Lecture Notes - Griffith University, Southbank Campus, QLD

I'VE BEEN EXTREMELY FORTUNATE IN MY LIFE, AND HAD SOME AMAZING OPPORTUNITIES. THE FOLLOWING SCRIPT IS MY SPEECH, AS FINAL SPEAKER ON AN AMAZINGLY TALENTED PANEL OF 4 STAUNCH KINKSTERS.  WE HAD A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME TO GET INFORMATION ACROSS, SO IT IS BY NO MEANS EXTENSIVE, BUT I AM SURE YOU WILL ENJOY IT!  THERE WAS A FORTUNATE MISPRINT ON THE BIOS - I READ AS A 'PRO-DOM' - SO I PLAYED WITH IT:

 Please read with picture in mind: main theater hall, last speaker up to the formal lecturne,  grabs the roving mike and proceeds to utilise the whole stage - pacing backwards and forwards [sore back after sittin for an hour]  italian arms waving around using every inch of that bloody stuffy stage - I swear it groaned as I exercised it lol! I sure as heck woke the old fella up in the third row, bugger was asleep!So I decided against singing 'Sodomy' from 'Hair' as a finale- I did it in the mess[afternoon high tea] area afterwards! Thanks for the trio guys! you ROCKED!> But enough 'loving myself', here it is:

Turn of the Millennium Tide: Mainstream BDSM Film & Literature, Fantasy VS. Reality SACRED KINK: SM, O.B.E's & Alternate Therapies:-

INTRO

I am:   MISS RED - PROFESSIONAL DOMINATRIX

CUT!  STOP!  Hold that image, thought, or mini movie playing in your head right now, because that is why I am here to speak with you today.I am NOT a Pro-dom.

I AM

A LIFE-STYLER – as within is without, PUBLIC PLAYER, BDSM PANSEXUAL PERFORMER- MUSIC,VISUAL ARTS/COMEDY,INFORMATION SHARER & AVID RESEARCHER, BOSSY BITCH[grade 1 report card] TO DEAR ABBEY[year 12 year book] –TANK GIRL & MARY POPPINS ADOREE, DOMINANT or rather PASSIONATE, ARCHETYPICAL GOVERNESS WITH A HUGE INNER CHILD- + HUNDREDS MORE FACES – that I adore playing with!

I AM A 1974 TAUREAN TIGER

I AM of ABORIGINAL/CELTIC/CHINESE HERITAGE, ADOPTED INTO PERFECTLY STRICT 1950’S NUCLEAR FAMILY, WHERE MUM WORE THE PANTS, BUT LET DAD WEAR THEM WITHOUT EMASCULATION [CLEVER LADY].  There were no boys/girls jobs – they just got done.  SCHOOL WAS EASY & FUN- 2 WEEKS SICK DAYS IN 12 YEARS.  I EXCELLED IN THE ARTS, ENGLISH & SPORTS.  I HAVE BEEN AND STIL ARE: A DEAR ABBEY[AGONY AUNT], INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC TEACHER, LIVE-IN NANNY AND LIFESTYLE TEACHER.

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO STUDY B.ARTS HUMANITIES & B.ED FILM&MEDIA, AND ENGLISH LITERATURE AT UNI.  THE IRONY OF MEDIA STUDIES WAS IT EXPOSED ME TO THE DININFORMATION PLAGUE, A VICIOUS CYCLE AIMED AT ‘DUMBING’ THE MASSES DOWN – AND AFTER RESEARCHING EAST TIMORESE ATROCITIES IN THE 70’S – MY DISSOLUSION  WITH THE GENERAL PUBLIC BEGAN: I STOPPED WATCHING TV, AND READING THE NEWSPAPERS, AND CHANGED FROM TEACHING TO CREATING.  I WANTED TO BECOME A PROSTHETIST,  TO MAKE CLIP ON NOSES AND EARS FOR PEOPLE THAT HAD VICIOUS CANCER REMOVAL – LEAVING GAPING HOLES IN THEIR FACES – THE THINGS GRANDKIDS RUN SCREAMING FROM WHEN THE PARENTS SAY “GO GIVE GRANDAD A KISS”- A DREAM JOB – A PLACE WHERE I COULD HELP PEOPLE SMILE, AND NOT HAVE TO SPEAK WITH THE PATIENT, 15 POSITIONS  ACCEPTED IN QLD/YEAR MEANT 99% JOB PLACEMENT, AND I DID LOVE WIRING UP BROKEN JAWS! 

THE COSMOS DECIDED I WAS TOO ‘HANDS OFF’ WITH PEOPLE, AND IN 1999, I SCORED A SPINAL INJURY, DETERIORATING, CHRONIC NERVE PAIN, AND SURGERY SUCCESS RATED AT 25%.  WITH AN ANTIPHARMACEUTICAL VIEW TO PAIN MANAGEMENT, I BACAME AN ENDORPIN CHASER.  I MOVED FROM THE BURB’S TO THE VALLEY–WHERE I COULD WEAR MY FULL WARDROBE, AND INTO A HOUSE THAT HAD PRIME POSITION, AND NO TV RECEPTION!  HOORAY! GETTING SPAT OUT OF THE 9-5MACHINE TOOK ME FROM REAL LIFE TV TO THE REAL WORLD, FROM DAYS OF OUR LIVES TO THE REAL SOAP OPERAS HAPPENING IN REAL TIME, AND THOSE THAT LIVED THEM EVERYDAY – AND I AM THANKFUL BEYOND WORDS.

ENDORPHIN CHASING LED ME TO TATTOOING, AND LOW IMPACT CLUBBING/DANCING FOR CORE STRENGTH.  Tattooing was breaking ma’s heart, and DANCING FOR HOURS EVERY NIGHT WASN’T GIVING ME THE ENDORPHINS IT USED TO…AND ONE SLEAZEBALL PARTY – I MET A TALL, DARK, UGLY MASTER… A CONFIDENT OLDER MAN, DANCING ECSTATICALLY BY HIMSELF – OF COURSE I HAD TO MEET HIM, AND I DISCOVERED THE PUBLIC BDSM SCENE.

BDSM RESEARCH WAS DIFFICULT – FILM & INTERNET LED TO TRAGEDY & PORN, AND CONTRADICTORY INFO TO MY EXPERIENCES

• COMMON THEMES IN SM FILM

 IF CHARACTER WAS ALREADY INTO SM WERE:

THE OUTSIDER/OUTCAST, ABANDONMENT, STRUGGLE TO FIT BACK INTO VANILLA LIFE IDENTITY DYSPHORIA, GUILT & SELF HATE

& IF NOT ORIG INTO SM, THE THEME WAS: ETHICAL COMPROMISE: $$$, FORCED-PROSTITUTION & BI-SEXUALITY, BLACK MARKET, REAL SLAVERY, SECRET SOCIETIES!!

FILM GENRE CLASSIFICATIONS WERE:       THRILLER: SILENCE OF THE LAMBS PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER ‘PSYCHO’  <I'm gonna pretend i'm my mother and knife ladies in the shower-reet reet reet>   ARTHOUSE: ANOTHER COUNTRY, PHEW, not mine

SO IF I GET INTO BDSM, NO-BODY LOVES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME, INCLUDING ME, I WILL BE FORCED TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERY ORIFICE OPEN TO ME, BECOME ENSLAVED BY THE MAFIA, LOSE MY IDENTITY, AND BE HUNTED BY A BUNCH OF KNIFE WIELDING PSYCHOTICS CONSPIRING TO CREATE A NEW WORLD ORDER:  BDSM RULES THE WORLD!  

EXPERIENCE WAS THE ONLY OPTION FOR INFO, I’D READ EVERYTHING AVAILABLE.   

And I discovered CLUB LIBERTINE:  PUBLIC PLAY IN PRIVATE SPACE.  MY FIRST SM EXPERIENCE AT CLUB LIB, WAS MY BOYFRIEND AND I TEAMING UP ON A VERY EXPERIENCED PAIN SLUT. WE NEGOTIATED, AND THE CRASH TEST DUMMY WAS STRUNG UP.  WITH AN EXPERIENCED PRO-DOM OF 15 YEARS BESIDE ME, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I COULD LEAVE ALL MY DAY-TO-DAY RESPONSIBILITIES AT THE DOOR, AND FOCUS ON WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN THE MOMENT.  THE [INFAMOUS] BOTTOM WAS A GREAT COMMUNICATOR, AND WE TEASED, TALKED, AND YELLED THROUGHOUT THE SCENE… I BEGAN TO REALIZE I COULD SEE AND FEEL WHAT HE WANTED, LIKE READING A BOOK – OR LIKE HE WAS WHISPERING HIS NEEDS IN MY EAR!!! NOT LONG INTO THE SCENE - TIME SUDDENLY SEEMED TO SLOW RIGHT DOWN, THE SURROUNDING CROWD DISAPPEARED, THEY POPPED OUT OF MY PERIPHERY, LIKE BALLOONS BEING POPPED, ONE-BY-ONE – UNTIL THEY ALL DISAPPEARED, THE LIGHTING CHANGED, AND WHERE THE PEOPLE HAD BEEN – IT WENT PITCH BLACK, AND IT SEEMED A SPOTLIGHT HAD SUDDENLY BEEN TURNED ON, A BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT THAT SHONE DOWN FROM ABOVE - CENTERED OVER THE BOTTOM.  I WAS HAVING AN EPIPHANY: AND I FELT LIKE A GENIE FINALLY LET LOOSE FROM ITS BOTTLE – WHAT FELT LIKE A 10 MINUTE SESSION, TURNED INTO 2 HOURS.  WE HAD FOUND AND SHARED SACRED SPACE AND THE ENDORPHINS LASTED DAYS.

IF SADISM IS:   The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others  

AND MASOCHISM IS:  The deriving Of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused  

THIS WAS NOT IT.

INFORMATION POURED IN–I BECAME THE YOUNGEST MEMBER OF THE CLUB LIBERTINE COMMITTEE, RAN WORKSHOPS, OPENED WOMENS SPACE, AND THE 'SUBMISSIVES' CAME.

EVERY PERSON WAS DIFFERENT, SO THE ORCHESTRATION CONSTANTLY CHANGED TO GET SACRED SPACE – WHEN I CONNECTED, AND REALLY GOT TO KNOW THE PERSON – SPACE WAS EASILY OBTAINABLE FOR BOTH PARTIES!!!

IF I COULD INDUCE A DRUG FREE EPIPHANY EVERY TIME, THEN I COULD SHARE THIS WITH OTHER DISABLED PEOPLE!  AND THEY CAME – THE PHYSICALLY, SOCIALLY, AND/OR EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED.

I SEEM TO BEFRIEND AND PLAY ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY WITH THE 'CUTTERS', 'MUTILATORS', 'ADDICTIVE PERSONALITIES' 'GENDER DYSPHORICS', 'BI-BORDER-SOUTHERN-STREAM-LINED KINDA PPLS...A.K.A. THE REALLY, REALLY INTERESTING PEOPLE.

DISCLAIMER: SM IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PRO PSYCHIATRY, NOR IS SM FULL OF CRAZY PEOPLE

ME BEING A HARD TASK MASTER, MEANT I GOT THE HARD TASK BASKETS.

I SOUGHT OUT THE QUIET, UNOBTRUSIVE, SOLITARY ONES – THAT STICK OUT BECAUSE THEY HIDE [HEHE, YOU STICK OUT TO ME LIKE DOGS BALLS!]  I LISTENED, AND FISHED AND PULLED AND DRAGGED THE INFORMATION OUT.  IF YOU LISTEN, THEY WILL COME, BUT DON’T FORGET YOUR SHOVEL! MOST THINGS I HEARD HAD NEVER BEEN UTTERED ALOUD BEFORE, AND IT CAN BE SLOW GOING.

I LEARNT IF YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING WITH ENJOYMENT & EXCITEMENT, DO IT WITH ACCEPTANCE, AND I ACCEPTED SM MOTHER ROLE.

I RUN A NOCTURNAL HALF-WAY HOUSE [LIKE MY ACTIVIST FULL-BLOOD GRANDMA, I LEARNT IN THE YEARS TO COME] THE DOOR IS LITERALLY OPEN FROM 12PM TO 4AM...

AND AN ENDLESS STREAM OF PEOPLE CAME TO TALK – IT TOOK ME 30 YRS TO DISCOVER I HAD BECOME MARY POPPPINS & TANK GIRL ROLLED INTO ONE!

IF A PERVERSION IS: A sexual practice or act considered abnormal or deviant.

THEN OUT IT & RE-ROUTE IT TO HEALTHIER RITUALS.

TALKING ABOUT IT MEANT UNDERSTANDING - WHICH TOOK AWAY THE ABNORMALITY, AND THEREFORE THE PERVERSION. THESE PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN FIT A QUARTER OF THEIR SUPPOSED 'PSYCH PROFILES', AND WITH SOME OF THE STORIES I HAD BEEN TOLD, THE ONLY SANE PATH WAS THE ONE THEY HAD TAKEN - THE CRAZY PATH WOULD HAVE ENDED YEARS BEFORE.  NOT MANY PEOPLE TELL THEIR PSYCH'S EVERYTHING, BUT A NEGOTIATED POWER EXCHANGE RELATIONSHIP CAN BE THE PERFECT EXCUSE TO COUGH UP THE JUICY TRUTH!

WITH UNDERSTANDING CAME SUCCESS. 

ENDORPHIN RUSHES LINKED TO THE NEGATIVE, WERE DIS-ASSEMBLED AND RE-LINKED TO THE POSITIVE AND 'SUBMISSIVES' STOPPED SELF-HARMING VOLUNTARILY DESPITE THE PSYCH MANUALS DEFINITION OF: BDSM=CRAZY.  IN GOOD SM RELATIONSHIPS INITIAL DARK PLAY MOVES VERY QUICKLY TOWARDS THE LIGHT. I FOUND MOST 24/7 LIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS IT TOOK 2 YEARS BREAK A LIFE-TIME CYCLE.  BUT IT’S HELL BOOTCAMP! AND TO RUN A BOOTCAMP IS TO BE THE BITCH- TRUE SADOMASOCHISM.  RE-TEACHING THE CHILD, FROM THE TIME THEIR IDENTITY BECAME FRACTURED TO CATCHING UP ON WHAT THEY HADN’T BEEN TAUGHT.   WITH TEACHING THE INNER CHILD, COMES A VICIOUS OEDIPAL LOVE/HATE OF THE MOTHER…WHICH I AM TOTALLY COOL WITH, AGAIN, PURE SADOMASOCHISM, IT UNAVOIDABLE - AND WITH SUCCESS, CAME ENJOYMENT.

MY BDSM HAS ASPECTS OF:

• SANDRA BULLOCK IN ‘28 DAYS’: FIRST YOU LOOK AFTER A PLANT, IF IT’S STILL ALIVE IN A YEAR – GET A PET [MICE WERE EASY AND SMALL] IF THE PET IS STILL ALIVE AFTER A YEAR, GET A PARTNER = WHICH INEVITABLY LED TO THE SUBMISSIVE TOPPING THE PARTNER AND TEACHING THEM AS WELL. [YES – I AM A TOP FACTORY –THAT’S JUST HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK]
• DRIVING MISS DAISY-DRAMA/COMEDY – DRIVER ANYONE? DID YOU KNOW THAT AFTER TEENSUICIDE, OVER 60’S MEN HAVE THE HIGHEST SUICIDE RATE – WITH RETIREMENT COMES THE THOUGHT OF BEING NOT USEFUL TO SOCIETY ANYMORE, AND LOSING THEIR MASCULINITY, DRIVING A MISS DAISY IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF CO-CREATION.
• THE MATRIX – PEOPLE UNPLUGGING EVERYWHERE

The myths surrounding BDSM in the mass media - DO exist in the REAL world - BECAUSE of that very same platform. 

AND I LEARNT TO USE IT. I UNPLUGGED.

THE PLACES THE MACHINE SO NEATLY CATEGORIZED FREAKS INTO, BECAME ADOPTING AGENCIES - AND THOSE  SEEDY PUBLIC BDSM NIGHTCLUBS ARE ESSENTIAL IN DRAWING THEM.

BRISBANE IN DESPERATE NEED OF A PRIVATE PREMESIS – IT RAISES AMAZING ENERGY

UNTIL THE DAY I DIE - I WILL USE ANY & PLATFORM, GENRE, LABEL, OUTFIT OR HAT IT TAKES TO CREATE POSITIVE COMMON & SHARED REALITIES.

WITH MAINSTREAM PROGRAMS BEING THE ONLY COMPARISON FOR FEELING AND EXPERIENCING TODAY, PEOPLE’S REAL-LIFE SOAPIES ARE PAINTED AS ‘PERVERTED’ AND IGNORED.

The worst aggressionTODAY is not the overt bitch with the whip, its non-communication.

Passive aggression through misrepresentation –a plethora of poor INFORMATION, inaccessibility, censorship, non-endorsement or plain lack of relative INFORMATION:  It’s the multitude of phobic relationships that go un-negotiated every day, every second.  It’s the innuendo, the gender wars , age wars, weight wars, belief wars -the Unconsentual humiliation and debasement of the very human experience that goes on around us every day!? UNNOTICED- OR IS IT?

WHO ARE WE? WE ARE: THE LIFE FORCE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE, WITH MANUAL DEXTERITY AND TWO COGNITIVE MINDS. EVERY MOMENT WE HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE WHO & HOW WE WANT TO BE IN THE WORLD.

RIGHT NOW, I CAN CHOOSE TO STEP INTO MY RIGHT BRAIN, WHERE:

WE ARE, I AM:  AN AMAZING COLLECTION OF THE 50 TRILLION MOLECULAR GENIUS’S THAT MAKE UP MY FORM, AT ONE WITH ALL THAT IS – I SEE YOU, YOUR PAIN IS MINE AND I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO SHARE

OR I CAN CHOOSE MY LEFT BRAIN.

WHERE I BECOME A SINGLE INDIVIDUAL:  SEPARATE FROM YOU, SEPARATE FROM THE FLOW.

 I AM MISS RED, DOMINATRIX, I SEE YOUR PAIN, BUT IT’S NOT MINE, IT’S YOURS.

THESE ARE THE WE INSIDE OF ME

I KNOW WHO I CHOOSE. WHO DO YOU CHOOSE…AND WHEN.

the lens of a camera, the monitor of the pc, the screen of the TV, the picture in the mag, the language of the text, is NOT the eye of the beholder – you are the beholder…

Life is awesome, find your inner child, and play… today.

• Thank you to all the BDSM artists out there trying to portray SM as it really is, despite & because of the Cultural Cringe
• Thank you to artists like Helmut Newton, Allen Jones and Madonna for stirring the grey matter, and musicians like Butt Boy, enigma, endorphin, and OKA to name a few, amazing catalysts.
• A huge thanks to the Uni & it’s numerous facilitators for the AMAZING agenda, space and time
• and thank you to the perverts in the audience…and that’s all of you! WE are all twisted somehow, somewhere – HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP THE CAT IN THE BAG? A LIFETIME?

Lecture notes and references are available afterwards – but only if you get past your preconceptions and come say HI! and PLEASE! share information with others!

How’s that first picture in your head going?…

Thank you for listening to our panel today,WHICH CONSISTED OF: [REMOVED FOR PRIVACY]

Good afternoon,

I’m OFTEN,  Miss Red, and I’m into LIFESTYLE, SACRED KINK.

ENSLAVEMENT TERMS

Of my own free will, I ___________________________________________________, herein known as the slave, hereby grant you, XXXXXXX, herein known as The Mistress and Owner, full ownership, care and use of both the slave's body and mind as of

                   the ____ day of _____, 201X, at ____:____ am/pm

                                              until

                   the ____ day of ______, 201X, at ____:____ am/pm

This period of time will herein be known as the enslavement term.

Slave's Veto

The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by the Mistress, at which time they may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances, or where agreed by both parties:

• Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave.
• Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave's life, such as losing their job, causing family stress, etc.
• Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm to the slave.
• Where said command may cause permanent psychological trauma to the slave.

Punishment of the slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from intentional abuse or permanent bodily harm. Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse:

• Drastic loss of circulation
• Causing internal bleeding or serious external flow
• Loss of consciousness
• Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time
• Rape scene for a slave that has been raped in the past. or any other role play closely related to any prior trauma to the slave, unless fully discussed and agreed upon by both parties, and is being used as an approach to rehabilitation of some form.**

**Professional guidance involved, and performed by qualified professionals

Since the body of the slave now belongs to the Owner, It is the Owners' responsibility to protect that body from permanent bodily harm. Should the slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or in any other slavery related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should the slave so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as:

•  Death
• Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones.
• Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.

 Others/Play

The slave may not seek any other Dominant/lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the MIstress' explicit permission. To do so, will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. The Mistress may accept other slaves, submissives or lovers, but must consider the slave's emotional response to such actions and act accordingly. Under no circumstance should the Mistress allow such actions to unbalance the slave emotionally, or allow such actions to result in ignoring the slave. The Mistress may give the slave to other Dominants, provided the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, the Mistress will inform the new Dominant of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new Dominant will be considered grounds for termination of contract.

Terms Of Contract

This contract may be terminated at any time by the Mistress, but never by the slave, except under special conditions explained within this contract.

The slave agrees to the following terms of this contract provided they do not conflict with any of the rights enumerated above:

• The slave must always address (Me) as "Miss" unless otherwise specified. Slave shall pay full attention to Miss when spoken to.

• The slave must always be "in uniform" when in its Owners presence: The daily uniform will be: a slave collar, naked or clothed as advised. The public uniform will  be: a. same slave collar and b. other specified jewelry (The public uniform must be worn at all times regardless of its Mistress' presence but the daily uniform is only to be worn at home.)

• The slave must keep its pubic area completely shaven at all times unless this shaving causes irritation to the sensitive skin in this area and no alternative method of removing hair can be found which is as effective.

• The slave must be ready to provide access to its complete body at all times.

• The slave must submit to discipline as required by the Mistress either as a form of punishment or to further its training only after being given an opportunity to explain or discuss the reason for its disobedience.

• The slave must maintain a submissive demeanour at all times when in private settings. Social settings will require this same demeanour but may be negotiated for meetings with family.

• The slave must first ask the explicit permission of its Mistress prior to masturbating or reaching an orgasm.

• The slave will submit to a 12 week trial period.

• The slave will be allowed to submit scenarios for implementation on a mutually agreed upon time schedule.

• The slave will maintain a diary of its submission describing its training, and its feelings (both good and bad) each day for the length of this contract. The slave will keep this diary in its quarters, and must be made available, at all times, upon command.

• The slave understands that this relationship may include, but is not limited to, prolonged periods of bondage, sexual frustration, sexual acts with both males and females, public nudism, exhibitionism and pain and/or punishment with whatever implements the Owner may wish to use.

• Slave shall stay in bed at night unless permission is granted to do otherwise. The slave shall not remove any restraint device for any other reason than an emergency.

• The slave accepts any decision the Mistress may make as to the time, place, reason, severity, length and implement of any punishment She may see fit to inflict upon it.  The slave understands it may be punished for no reason what so ever. slave freely gives up any right to protest the Mistress' decision in this matter.

• The slave requests that no sex with a minor or animal is engaged in. 

•  The slave agrees to keep himself free from sexually transmitted disease and is assured the Mistress will do the same.  Any violation of this paragraph voids this document completely.

• The slave understands that this relationship may include sexual acts of an oral, anal and vaginal nature.  slave understands that it may be required to engage in sexual acts with multiple partners of either sex.

• The slave understands that photographs or videotapes of it engaging in any activity may be taken.

• In exchange for being allowed to enter into this relationship, the slave gives to the Mistress the sole and exclusive use of its body. slave understands that this WILL include, but is not limited to, length/removal of its  body hair, piercing, tattooing, scarification, branding, body weight/fitness level, and manner of dress and undress.  slave freely gives the Mistress the right to refuse or order any modification to its body as the Mistress may see fit.

• The slave agrees that it will enter into no other agreement with any other person for the use of its body whatsoever.

• All belongings the slave brings to the Mistress' home shall belong to the Mistress, to be shared or kept as She sees fit, including after termination of this contract, unless the Mistress decides to give back its possessions. 

Duties of Servitude

Above all, it is the duty of the slave to please.

• Personal Duties: Physical/emotional needs of the Mistress, amusement, sexual toy/plaything, physical comfort, obedience, honesty, loyalty, waiting on Miss as desired and needed.
• Household Duties: Cleaning, laundry, shopping, care for children/friends/family when requested, run errands as needed. Any task assigned is considered permanent.

Daily Routine

Daily routine for a 24/7, non-working/part-time working slave can be found as an attachment to the end of this contract. The established daily routine for a working (38 hr) slave are as follows:

    * Arise 1-2 hrs earlier than designated departure time.

    * Morning coffee and breakfast

    * Chores

    * Go to work

    * Return home

    * Shower and change into uniform

    * Chores/Dinner duties

    * Recreation with permission from Owner

    * Bed-time must allow at least 6 hours sleep.

Uniform

slave will dress in uniform provided, each day, unless otherwise advised by Miss. Uniform will be hand-washed at end of each day and hung out to dry. Uniform must be ironed.

Recreation

If slave wishes to enjoy the use of the computer/recreation time slave will ask for a specific time that it wishes to do so. Permission will be by grant of Owner, and slave will cease using the computer within 10 minutes of any request to do so by the Owner, unless an extension is asked for and granted. If Owner is not at home or unavailable, slave may be permitted to engage in this or other recreation activities approved by Owner. Any chores, commands or cleaning that need to be done will take preference over recreation activity except in the case of a need for break.

Time Off

Slave will be allowed time off, if requested in advance and if Owner agrees.

Expenditures

All requests for major expenditures will be submitted to Owner for approval. Any expenditure over $10.00 will be completely subject to the approval of Owner prior to purchase.

Allowance

Allowance will be set by Owner and distributed to slave as She sees fit, to be spent on what She sees fit.

Exclusions/Behavior

•     Attitude: The servant should show an attitude of respect at all times. Disrespect is a serious offense and will be punished severely.
•     Respect includes: manner of speech, promptness, kneeling to serve, proper answers, obedience, loyalty and honesty.
•     Respect and obedience are the two most important aspects of attitude the servant shall show at all times. Failure will be punished.

Friends and Relatives

All friends and relatives of Owner will be treated with the utmost respect AND priority. No argument, condescension, insult or lack of courtesy will be tolerated. Owner will voice Her compliment, respect and love for slave's same at all times.

Slave hereby agrees to refrain from any insult or criticism of any of Mistress' friends or relatives.

Mistress may provide lodging for any friend, relative or partner She wishes. Permission is required from Owner if slave has the desire to provide lodging for any friend, relative or partner. Any disobedience from this rule will be cause for serious punishment.

Social Contact

1.  Slave is allowed to write, visit and talk to any family member as long as it does not interfere with its servitude.

2.  Slave is allowed to write, visit and talk to friends as long as it does not interfere with its servitude. All such contact will be monitored and approved by Owner.

Number 2 above is a privilege, not a right, and should be appreciated.

Behaviour in Public

• The slave shall remain within eyesight of Owner unless permission is given to do otherwise. The slave shall be courteous and prompt at all times, showing the Mistress full respect.
• The slave shall dress as Owner desires.
• The slave shall not argue or complain when in public with their Owner
• Miss is more important than any other activity the slave may be engaged in. The slave shall sit, stand, walk, kneel, and lay where, when and how Owner desires.

Training and Discipline

Discipline will be limited to:

• Denial of orgasm / CBT
• Spanking (hand or brush) & paddling
• Whipping (riding crop, floggers, caning, switches)
• Time out / Isolation
• Bondage
• Menial Labour
• Any combination of the above

The slave will be given three code words and allowed to use same during disciplinary actions. slaves Owner will ask it "How's the traffic?".

slave will respond in one of three ways:

• Red - I cannot take anymore, I am past my limits     
• Amber - has reached its limit, wants to back off a little, but continue
• Green - continue

slaves response will determine further actions by The Mistress..

Discipline includes: bondage and restraint, leash training, implements of discipline, training, body care and foot worship.

Explicit Permission: Slave will continually be trained and tested in explicit permission technique.

Training activities include: daily discipline, offering bed cuffs, proper answers, spending the night in bondage.

Special training activities include: the Mistress' complete control in Her use of public humiliation, surprise discipline, cage/bondage time, gags, hoods, etc., cleaning, retraining and enforced feminisation.

Progress Reports: The Mistress will prepare progress reports on the training of the slave as She sees fit.

Orgasm Control

Slave is to achieve orgasm ONLY by permission of the Mistress..

Slave's orgasms will be controlled for proper training of slave, teaching slave good habits, providing motivation, physical and sexual energy. Mistress will allow slave reward upon permission.

Punishments

Punishment will be given for the following offences:

• Going anywhere without permission and/or threatening to do so
• Cockiness or rudeness
• Drinking/taking drugs without permission
• Disobedience
• Failing to complete assigned tasks without suitable reason
• Orgasm without express permission from Mistress
• Genital exposure without permission

Punishment may include, but is not limited to, the following:

• Mild Punishments can include: slapping, ear or nipple pinching, cropping, hair pulling, going to bed early, time-outs, spanking, pegging, cock or cunt Torture/denial of orgasm, spanking and paddling, menial labour
• Medium Punishments can include: mild humiliation, genital pinching, intense bondage, clamps and weights, switches, cropping, flogging
• Severe Punishments can include: gags, handcuffs, caning, withdrawal of privileges, humiliation/torment, isolation, time out, bondage, whipping,  flogging, caning,
• Any combination of the above

The slave shall perform the confession ritual once a month and be punished accordingly. Failure to do so will be punished.

Drinking and Drugs

Slave is allowed to drink alcohol or use soft drugs only with explicit permission from Mistress when and where and how much She permits.

Drinking will not be permitted when going out, [limited to 1 or 2 drinks with permission]. Slave may attend bars, etc., only with the Mistress, or with Her permission to go with anyone else. Slave must ask permission for each and every drink.

Duration

This Contract is valid from this day until 6 months has passed, and then it may be renewed or renegotiated if the Owner and/or slave feel it needs to be reviewed and updated. At that time, the slave will receive a new contract.

I, the slave, formerly known as _____________________________________________ freely and knowingly sign this document and am henceforth bound by the rules stated within this contract.

SIGNATURE:_______________________________________

Dated on the ______day of _________, 201X.

I, the Mistress and Owner, agree to accept this slave as my property, body and possessions, and to care for him to the best of my ability. I shall provide for his security and well-being and command him, train him, and punish him as a slave. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the slave as long as he are mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

SIGNATURE:_______________________________________

Dated on the ______day of _________, 201X.

ATTACHMENT:

Everyday slave chores

• tidy your room, make bed, iron uniform, Bathroom to be totally cleaned everyday using wet bathroom(white)'enjo mitt'(water only) and once per week using cream cleanser and scourer. At NO stage are any chemicals to be used with ENJO mitts, other than water.
• Shower quickly, hang your towel up in room, change into clean uniform, hand wash dirty uniform (this task may be done the night before...allowing), hang to dry on hanger in sun/under house on rainy days.
• Mistress has weak white coffee or strong white tea with 2 1/2 raw sugars & 3 teaspoons of coffee whitener (in coffee only), unless otherwise instructed, when She wakes.
• Mistress bed to be made straight after She wakes. Sheets to be changed every 7 days, washed on a gentle cycle.
• towels to be changed every 5 days on a gentle cycle.
• Do what laundry that is classified hand-washing daily/put away clean washing everyday, as required.
• check for notes from Mistress first on fridge/freezer/as designated...these chores to be done FIRST, or as directed.
• water the gardens and pots, ONLY EVER ON A GENTLE SPRAY, never directly blast at them. To be watered:
•  once/day=winter, twice/day=summer, NOT after rain
• wash the dishes QUIETLY, dry, and put away. any dishes that gather until amount facilitates next wash MUST be rinsed totally clean of food scraps. All rinse water to be collected and used to water plants etc.
• dust and tidy the house, do not vacuum until Mistress awakes. If there is a time lapse of more than one hour between dusting and vacuuming, dusting to be done AGAIN before vacuuming.
• tablecloths shaken/changed if needed(hand washing)
• kitchen to be wiped totally over with wet kitchen (green) "ENJO Mitt' (water only)
• daily meals to be prepared in advance, as much as possible.
•  Smaller unmentionables may be washed immediately after removal in the bathroom basin and draped overnight to dry
• floors to be vacuumed: kitchen/bathroom/front room. Mop every fourth day.
• back veranda/front stairs/back stairs to be swept
• stiff brush head to sweep concrete path
• weed gardens(everyday)/plant seeds, hoe new patches/fertilize as needed
• check diary for events/add events: bills, appointments etc
• remove rubbish
• shopping and errand duties
• help Mistress WHENEVER she asks/suggests ANYTHING

An Introduction to Humiliation Play 

How to raise colour in both cheeks

ACTIVITY 1:  COOSE YOUR HERO OR HEROINE BY TRAIT – write half a dozen of their strongest qualities down that most impress you.

The Wikipedia says:

Erotic humiliation is the consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself, as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. It can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public.

An example of humiliation is: "You are such a dirty little bitch."

Sometimes humiliation involves inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with degradation, ridicule, mocking, and embarrassment. 

Degradation, according to the same source, is the reduction of rank, character or reputation of a person. An example of degradation is: "If you were any fatter, we would have to get rid of your worthless ass."

HUMILIATION PLAY is for those with high self-esteem, big ego’s and strong senses of ‘self’.   Be wary of humiliation scenes with people of low self-esteem… Be sure that the humiliation used will raise levels and not further degrade their esteem.  This is the fine line between the worst scene you could ever have and one of the fucking hottest scene you have ever had.  Humiliation IS for breaking moral barriers - to do things that society has taught us NOT to do.

NEGOTIATE YOUR HUMILIATION!!!  What words do you hate being called – what words or names bring back bad memories of a place or person? 

BEWARE and be wary of Public Humiliation.  Never underestimate how disturbing the ‘general public’ can lead to serious harm!!!  Vanilla’s (GP) that feel threatened can become very agro and abusive – the last thing you want is to be lynched by an angry mob or end up in the Lock house!

A controlled situation with pre-negotiated consent from any non-kinksters involved is the IDEAL setting.  Be considerate and careful in your public scenes.

If the Top, or bottom begins to feel uncomfortable with any form of humiliation used in a scene, stop and check that it’s ok to continue with that style or not, offer praise, positive reinforcement or just the cuddle that is needed for both players to be reassured that they are not playing for REAL.

The Dominant must have sharp psychological intuition to be successful with humiliation – avoid breaking the wall between play and real life.   Skin will heal, but fucking with someone’s head the wrong way will snap them out of submission, or even worse, damage their self-esteem, and lose their trust.  Lose trust and lose the relationship.

So, bottoms – no matter how cruel and heartless you want your Dominant to be – what you need is an empathic Top – someone who cares! 

DO speak extensively after a scene if further clarification and understanding is needed.

Stay away from known bad behaviours and CORE ISSUES. 

ACTIVITY 2:  CORE ISSUES – What is ethically important to you? How do you define yourself as a   good person -? By what traits???  Put them in order from most to least important.  When actively humiliating in-scene, stay away from the first few – half dozen aspects – and have fun with the ‘lesser’  answers!  The lower entries have a high blush factor for the individual!!

EXAMPLE HUMILIATION ACTIVITIES AND SCENES

1. Must use "Mistress", Madame", or "Ma'am" at all times.
2. Handcuffed to the shopping cart, while shopping.
3. Leashed or tied to a pole outside store like a dog. (waiting for Mistress)
4. Metal collars, chains, or leashes when going through airport security.
5. When at a restaurant, eat in an unusual way; being fed by the Mistress; using your non- dominant hand, no utensils.
6. Forbidden to speak in public.
7. Kneeling and kissing her boots, shoes, feet, or hands, at odd moments.
8. Pockets cut out of pants, and hands tied or cuffed to your thighs so you can't remove them from the pockets.
9. Wearing a vibrating butt plug, with the controls in your pocket or available for her use.
10. Being forced to masturbate beneath the table cloth while at a restaurant.
11. You both are sitting in a restaurant, dressed completely normal. She hands you a bag of 'stuff' and tells you to go to the restroom and change. The clothes are the opposite of what you would normally wear.
12. You are sitting drinking a beer or apple juice. When the glass is empty, she orders you to take it to the ladies room and fill it up. You must return and then consume your "new" beverage with your meal.
13. You have to take your panties or underpants off, return to the table and hand them to her. She leaves them on the table in plain view.  Even better if wearing a short skirt.
14. You are diapered, taken out to a restaurant or bar and have to consume a large quantity of liquid, and are not allowed to use the restroom.
15. Travelling by car naked or dressed in lingerie.
16. Wearing smudged lipstick or make up so that it appears you have just got out of bed.
17. She hands the controls of your vibrating plug, dildo to another person.
18. Having to show another person what you are wearing beneath the raincoat or cape.
19. She spanks you.
20. She slaps you.
21. You have to eat a doggie snack at lunch.
22. You have to kiss the ground she stepped on whenever she leaves a car.
23. You kiss the seat of her chair whenever she stands.
24. Ordering warm milk, or some other almost impossible item, claiming dietary need.
25. You have to eat a bite of something that has had an ash flicked on it.
26. The Mistress you into the restroom and performs an on the spot vaginal/rectal examination.
27. One hand is cuffed to the chair or table when you are eating.
28. In a parking lot or similar location, just before you will be safely hidden from spectators, she has you pause and wet yourself. You have to walk the last few yards with wet clothes.
29. Tape rough felt or very, very fine sandpaper inside a shirt over the nipples. Effect should be stimulation, not damage.
30. Temporary "slave" tattoos or other markings, hidden or not.
31. Always walking a foot or two behind her. Speeding up to open doors.
32. If no seats are available, puts you on all fours and sits on your back.
33. Having ribbons/bows braided into the genital hair.
34. When dining out, sub is not allowed to order, is fed little bites from her plate.
35. While she is sitting on a chair, you sit on the floor beside her, even though there are chairs available next to her.
36. Wear an almost invisible thread attached from one nipple ring, around the neck to the other nipple. She can pull on this anytime.

 **RETURN TO ACTIVITY 1**

END

Humiliation Resource List

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Topping Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Abernathy, C. "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Mistress Lorelei "The Mistress Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 2000

Wiseman, J. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Bottoming  Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Miller, P. & Devon, M. "Screw the Roses, Send Me thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998

Rinella, J. "The Master's Manual" Daedalus Publishing Company. Los Angeles. 1994

Mistress Lorelei "The Mistress Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 2000

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

http://mistressamanda.com/node/66

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/955181/bdsm_101_an_introductory_guide_to_humiliation.html?cat=7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_humiliation

http://fatandtiny.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html?zx=b5529a11fb4a5152

http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/bdsm_ds_sm_speculations/emotional_masochism.php

http://www.houseofdesade.com/articles/humiliation1.htm

http://disciplinedfeminist.blogspot.com/2006/12/humiliation-vs-humility.html

http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/sm_fantasies/healthy_humiliation_degra.php

http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/humbling/erotic_humiliation.php

http://www.iron-rose.com/ir/docs/humiliation.htm

http://www.steel-door.com/humiliation_fem.htm

http://www.altsubmission.com/humiliation.html

http://www.dommeslave.com/forum/mydommespace-21/public-humiliation-ssc/

http://www.phonehumiliation.com/public_humiliation.html

http://bdsm.com/go/g931.subbdsm30

http://www.sexinchrist.com/submission.html

Tonight's topic is ageplay. No, not edge play, ageplay ... which could be edge play too, for some people.

Ageplay is a form of sometimes erotic roleplaying in which at least one participant plays the role of someone with a different age. Some examples are playing the role of a baby (often called infantilism), a child, a teen, a college-aged person, or even someone older than oneself.

What is infantilism?

Infantilism and diaper fetishes are both deep and lasting urges with a specific focus: diapers and/or babyhood. The urges differs from person to person. Infantilism isn't a fetish per se, but may coexist with a diaper fetish. Neither involve actual children. Infantilists and those with diaper fetishes are often called Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers (ABDLs or AB/DLs).

   1. AB: [Adult Baby] Adults who like to dress and behave like Babies.

   2. DL: [Diaper Lover] Adults who just love to wear and/or wet and mess diapers.

   3. IDL: [Incontinent Diaper Lover] Incontinence adults who have found a way to make the medical need for diapers more fun.

   4. JD: [It's Just a Diaper] People who just find diapers comfortable, and don't really care about using them, or playing with toys. It's just another choice besides boxers or briefs.

   5. VDL: [Voyeur Diaper Lover] Adults who can't wear diapers, or don't even want to. But just enjoy seeing photos of adults who do, and talking to them.

   6. JF [Jaded Fetish] Some people just like to try new things, and eventually, they get down to diapers or that thing with a hamster and roll of duct tape.

• Ageplay is not neccessarily about reenacting your own childhood. The roles ageplayers want to play may bear little or no resemblance to their real childhoods, by accident or by design.

Sometimes, for example, the roles ageplayers fantasize about playing are based on the way children live today, rather than the way they lived when they themselves were growing up. Children nowadays have more money of their own and wear more expensive clothes than they did even 20 years ago. Corporal punishment is much rarer now than it was then, and disposable diapers much more common. Microwave ovens and other modern conveniences have changed our lives profoundly just in the past decade or two. The world children live in is different, and sometimes ageplay scenarios are more like today's world than the world of the players' own childhoods.

 Some different categories of ageplayer bottoms (that are frequently mixed-matched and combined) that come to mind are:

Regressive Ageplayers- reenact their own childhoods

Sexual Ageplayers- People who feel a sexual thrill from the taboo of playing a different age than they are. They may take on the physical trappings of the role but their sexual self is present in role.

Sissies-  Sissies are those whose main purpose in ageplay is to enjoy roleplaying a girl.

Spanking- They are drawn to the discipline and spanking aspect of the roleplay.

Toddlers- Those into role playing kids in the toddler stage.

Juvenile- Those into playing the pre-adolescent but older than toddler child.

Teenagers- Those into playing the child on the verge of adulthood.

Incest play- Those into play that specifically involves the players in roles that are "related".

Brats- Those that enjoy roleplaying a child that is not well behaved.

But what do ageplayers do? They roleplay. Usually you need at least two people for this, and often one will play the "child" role and the other will play an adult caregiver of some kind (mother, father, other relative, babysitter, nanny, etc.). But this child/caregiver type of scenario is far from the only scene possible, and even it has many variations.

Players may wish to reenact actual scenes from their own childhoods, or they may want the same event to turn out a different way in the end. Or, they may want to live a childhood they never had. One can roleplay a child or teen of the opposite sex, or from a different time period (the old-time schoolhouse, or being a child in the Roman Empire), or even a scenario that's totally made up (being a teenager in a world in which it's perfectly acceptable for parents to punish unruly teens with, say, bondage).

Some common ageplaying scenarios are widely known in the BDSM scene and sometimes even outside it, although it may not cross the player's minds that what they're doing is ageplay. The "strict schoolmaster/mistress and naughty schoolboy/girl" scene is almost a BDSM stereotype. (Note that the schoolmaster/mistress role is probably a role in which the player plays a role that's older than their own age.) The "juvie hall warden and teen juvenile delinquent" scene is certainly heard of. "Daddy/boy" and "Daddy/girl" relationships occur in the BDSM world (though of course "Mummy/boy" and "Mummy/girl" scenes can happen too, and the players of any role can be of either sex). Fairy-tale-type games are also almost a stereotype; imagine Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.

I can imagine playing a teenager just learning about his/her sexuality, and this is a scene in which the other player(s) could also ageplay as other teens. And, of course, there is infantilism, where one player is the baby and the other is the caregiver. But these are just some commonly heard-of examples; people are very creative and come up with many more ideas.

There are a few elements commonly seen in ageplay: clothes and costumes are one, from little frilly baby dresses, footed and snap-crotch Oshkosh overalls to school uniforms and whatever wacky fashions are popular among those crazy kids today. Other "props" can play a part, from pacifiers, toys, crayons, fingerpaint and even elaborate baby furniture to sports equipment, skateboards, blow dryers and curling irons for those older kids.

Humiliation is an important element for some players. Called sissification, it doesn't have to be present, but it can be: being treated like a child and condescended to, being called names like "diaper baby" or "sissy", or even just looking like a child because of the clothing and other "props" you have with you can be erotically humiliating for some. Hardcore sissification humiliates the body as well, be careful.

And, finally, sex can come into play. One might think that, since this is a presentation about erotic age roleplaying, sex would necessarily be an element. Well, that depends on what you mean by "sex." For someone with an ageplay fetish, a wonderful amount of erotic energy can be built up without any explicit sexual activity whatsoever (although this could still be called "sex" from one point of view). This is not to say that there can't be actual sexual activity in the scene; there certainly can and some players wouldn't scene without it. But for others explicit sex doesn't have a place in some ageplay scenarios, and they don't miss it. For still others, ageplay is not erotic at all; roleplay as a child simply for emotional satisfaction.

Ageplay And Other Kinks

Ageplay relates to many other kinks, and can be combined with them. People can discover ageplay from these related kinks, and vice versa.

First of all, there is bondage. Naturally, one could do a scene in which, for example, teenagers were experimenting with bondage. But for younger roles, the ropes, chains and cuffs of "traditional" bondage may not make sense (although certainly they could, in an imaginative enough scene). However, now is a good time to mention that lots of baby equipment can be construed as bondage if you think about it in the right, kinky way. We strap kids into car seats, strollers and high chairs, and cribs and playpens are designed to confine babies. Sometimes parents use wrist leashes or even baby reins to keep toddlers from wandering too far. Usually these measures are for the children's own safety, but in kinky hands these devices can take on wonderful new meanings. Additionally, using baby-type bondage on a "child" who's supposedly too old for it can have a humiliation aspect.

Then there's discipline. Children and teenagers are punished by their parents, and this idea could easily have a place in a scene. The "parent" could punish the "child" with spanking, standing in the corner, time-outs, no dessert, grounding, or other losses of privilege. More about this a little later.

Domination and submission: Any time you have one person roleplaying an adult and another playing a child, you're going to have power exchange, but the dynamic is complex.  Whoever's playing the child gives up some power and privileges and maybe even some abilities, it's true, but it can be argued that children, especially young ones who need lots of attention, have a lot of power over their parents. And, depending on the role being played, the one playing the adult may have to take care of the "child" on the "child"'s own terms -- although this can vary with the age of the "child" and the type of scene the players decided upon. For example, in the "classic" parent/child scene the "parent" makes the rules and the "child" must follow them, and gets punished if he/she doesn't. On the other hand, it's possible to do quite the reverse, with a doting "parent" and a spoiled, demanding "child" ... maybe even a "child" with a paddle!

 spanking, paddling, etc, could be considered to certainly fit into an ageplay scene.

There are several fetishes that relate to ageplay. Uniform and clothing fetishes fit quite well, as there are cheerleader and schoolboy/girl outfits and baby clothes out there. Rubber and plastic fetishes go well with scenes involving diapers, and there are those who have a fetish for diapers themselves. Finally, there is a fetish for using baby paraphernalia; this is called anaclitism, and it relates to infantilism.

An interest in Watersports  can lead to an interest in diapers, and vice versa.

Transgender activity often relates to ageplay --  there are many ageplayers who wish to play as a child of the opposite sex.  There is also a subscene called "adult little girls", comprised of mostly men who like to pretend they're little girls of various ages, from babies to teens.

Why Are People Attracted to Ageplay?

 Some people make a deliberate decision to try ageplay, and sometimes it's more of a visceral attraction, part of their overall sexuality.

Bad childhood experiences, minor or traumatic, could cause an interest in ageplay -- it may or may not be a specific event that can be pointed to; it might be an unpleasant environment of some sort. Perhaps they were forced to "grow up too fast" or found the world a crappy place to be a kid in.

Players may wish that they could go back to a time before the experience occurred, or that they could have a childhood in which it never happened that way. The wish may not be conscious; it may just be a vague feeling that just became part of them as they grew up. And the ageplay fantasies they have as a result may not have anything to do with the negative experience.

Sometimes a usually bad experience can become eroticized, such as bedwetting, spanking, a boy being made to wear girls' clothes, or some other humiliating punishment.

However, bad experiences do not necessarily lead to a desire to ageplay; sometimes they can predispose a person against it. There may be certain periods from childhood that a player doesn't like to remember, much less return to -- this is understandable and perfectly OK, and if this describes you, then ageplay may just not be for you, at least playing certain ages.

For some, though, childhood was a great time, and they want to relive it so they can recapture the fun and happiness.

It's possible to consciously try ageplay because you have a related fetish. Some people, just have erotic fantasies about being treated like babies. The variations are countless, though. Someone with an attraction to watersports could become interested in diapers and hence infantilism, or someone who had a fetish for wearing cheerleader uniforms could become interested in roleplaying as a teenage cheerleader.

==========================================================================================================

How to guide on Ageplay

So you've decided that you want to try ageplay.  Things to think about before you start, to keep things safe.

First of all, you need to make sure to negotiate before you go into your roles, and in my opinion the negotiation has to be more detailed in certain areas. For one thing there is the matter of what the "child" can and cannot do. Whereas a submissive may willingly give up some privileges while in scene, somebody who's roleplaying a child may actually give up some abilities, like the ability to walk and/or talk. This creates a definite difference between the player's outside life and his/her role, and this difference is often a large part of what makes the scene exciting for him/her. For example, perhaps the "child" can only crawl except when he/she's holding "Mommy"'s hand, or can only say baby-talk words, or can't tie his/her shoes and has to ask "Daddy" to do it.

There are other ways to emphasize the "child"'s new role. For example, the "adult" can always make the "child" ride in the back seat of the car, and although I've never heard of an adult-sized child car seat outside of fiction, the "adult" could always make sure to buckle the "child" in. Even a teenager may not be legal to drive yet and might have to be driven places. For younger children there are early bedtimes, going to playgrounds, or not being allowed to handle the money. For babies, there is not being allowed to feed oneself and having to wear a bib while being fed, not being allowed to use the bathroom, having to drink from bottles, or having to crawl.

The smaller the "child" is to be, the more details appear, because the "child"'s life gets more and more different from an adult's. An infantilism scene could involve diapers, bottles, baby food, and so forth. Some attention should be paid to the details here: supplies need to be bought in advance, and it should be established beforehand what foods and beverages are to be used, and what exactly the "baby" is to do in his/her diapers (the "adult" might have to change them, which might be OK, depending on the person).

A word about reality -- in real life a parent could lift a child into bed, onto a changing table, etc. This may not be possible in ageplay unless the "child" is really small or the "adult" is really strong. It's probably a good idea to work out, in advance, what to do in situations like this. Example: When the "parent" pats the bed three times, that means the "child" must sit on the bed in that place.

The rules and boundaries laid down during the negotiation are one thing, but especially in discipline scenes there may also be other rules, made to be broken -- children and even teens have rules that their parents lay down. The difference is that the "real" rules are set by the participants outside scene space, while the "soft" rules are made by the "adult" inside the scene. If you can keep the distinction clear, this can be fun. If this is confusing to you, perhaps this isn't the way to play. "Soft" or "internal" rules are such things as bedtime/curfew, no using foul language, elbows off the table, no smart-mouthing -- rules set by the "adult" inside the scene. If these rules are broken, the "child" probably gets punished, which may have been the intent of the whole exercise. "Real" rules are such things as safewords, limits, and punishments that both players agree are OK to use. If these rules are broken, the scene usually becomes unpleasant for one or both players and probably comes to an end.

Unless the players know each other really well, and maybe not even then, I think it is a good idea to stay away from reenacting a traumatic situation from anybody's past, even if the intent is that the traumatic events themselves not take place. This kind of thing (psychodrama) should  only be attempted by trained therapists.

When negotiating, don't forget the usual safeguards, such as limits and safewords/safegestures.

And, finally, even if you've decided in advance that you're going to mix SM play, sex, or something otherwise nonchildlike with your ageplay, it's possible for the "child" to get into a delicate headspace in which this could upset them, and possibly a nonverbal one in which they can't say their safeword. It can happen in other forms of BDSM play; it can happen in ageplay too. It falls upon the "adult" to keep an eye out for this and to keep communication lines open.

RESOURCES

http://www.care4baby.net/aboutme.htm

http://alt.com/intgroups/gi5/acshow_group.html?trlid=%2Fsite%2Ffiles%2Fbdsm%2Fcron%2Fenglish%2Fintgroup_most_active_groups.txt-9

http://www.sirkelly.com/dictionary.html#Daddy

http://www.adultbaby.co.uk/introduction.php

http://www.liljennie.com/ageplay-pres.php

http://www.aby.com/apm/home.php

http://www.dailydiapers.com/content/index.html

http://understanding.infantilism.org/

http://understanding.infantilism.org/

http://www.veronikaharley.com/abdlsissies/sissyboys.html

http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/Vamp/lgl/styles.html

BDSM TOYS ON A BUGET

Nothing hurts more than being whipped with a studded riding crop. Except, of course, the painful sting of its $50 price tag.
And that's the sort of pain we'd all like to avoid.  So how do we suffer at home without suffering at the bank? The solution is clear: Make your own toys.
Why Do it Yourself (DIY)? Even if you're a Dom with enough spare cash to buy a dungeon's worth of torture toys, there's nothing like homemade nipple clamps to show your submissive that you care.
For Submissives, there's a certain perverse joy in making the implements of your own torture. They also make lovely Christmas gifts.
Vegan enthusiasts will find they can make a much wider range of animal safe toys than would normally be available in stores.
Making your own gear also allows first timers to explore without breaking the bank.
DIY bondage gear is cheap, fun, and allows you to feel crafty and clever, and also gives the satisfaction of achievement and pride in one's workmanship... and  because nothing says 'I Love You' like a hand made flogger to the balls.

This handout was given to all attendees of the 6/3/97 "Frugal Pervert" Janus program. This list was compiled by Tanith Tyrr, added to by Red Gray- share freely, please credit the authors.

Music stores: Metal banjo picks (excellent and inexpensive "claws"), tambourine brushes, drumsticks, sound effect toys

Beauty supply:  clips and clamps, hairbrushes

Kitchen/home: Bathroom accessories (loofah sponges, mitts), spatulas, cheese board paddles, cheese graters, pickle pinchers, wooden spoons,  plastic windowblind closing rods (good canes)

Fishing stores: (Warning: fishhooks are not safe for piercing play!) Fiberglass rods, weights, pliers and clamps, fish scaler (abrasion toy), bells with clips

Produce, Horse & pet stores: Riding crops, whips, harnesses and bridles, horse hobbles, Castrating bands (Elastrator), cattle prods, flexible plastic fencing material, mild electrical "pest" fences, leather gloves, Pet stores: Collars, leashes, bells, dog food bowls, cages, remote electrical shock collars. Veterinary supply sells horse and dog bite gags, forceps, sterile needles, some restraints

Arts/Crafts: Craft stores sell leather and specialty rope. Tandy Leather sells horsehair, feathers, leather laces

Marine supply: Rope, winches, quick-release snaps, pulleys, Stainless 916, 913 - eyepads, attachment points,

Climbing supply: Heavy duty ropes, carabiners, suspension harnesses

Shoe Repair: Scrap leather, heavy rubber soles, leather laces, polish

Auto Parts: "Parts retriever" gripping toy, funnels, windshield wiper blades, vinyl cleaner

Fabric stores: Clover clamps, spiked measuring and cutting wheels (Warburton wheels)

Pharmacies: Menthol rubs, toothpaste, Ace bandages, douches and enemas, aspirin (increases bruising), snakebite kits, Betadine, First Aid and safety gear, cotton swabs, disinfectants, ear bulbs & rectal bulbs for lube insertion.

$2 shops: Cheap clothespins, tupperware drawers to organize your toys, Baby Wipes (contains nonoxynol), feather dusters & boas, cotton ropes, back scratchers, cheap studs, cane spoons (harder to break), various massagers, fluorescent decorations (for blacklight), portable shower hoses/douche, cheap moisturizers and conditioners, hot glue guns & refills, cheap metal cuffs (for look only), Rubber bands (news agents have variety of sizes), tacks.

Toy stores: Toy paddles, jumping rope, age play accessories, yukky tactiles - sticky hands and squishy rats, electric shock toys, thumbcuffs,

Theatrical/magic:Blacklights and strobe lights, mindfuck props, costuming, fancy dress,  fake blood (capsules are best), stage knives, rope tricks, itching powder, gag electric shock toys, gag fart toys (humiliation)

Opportunity shops: Cheap leather and fur coats to recycle, leather belts, "tearaway" or disposable clothing to rip off your body, stockings, uniforms...just KEEP looking!!!

Groceries: Foodplay items like cucumbers and other insertion toys, whipped cream, tabasco and hot sauces (not insertion toys)

Sporting goods: Muscle rub, paddles, fiberglass fishing rods, chin-up bars can be installed for bondage, camping "potty chairs" for watersports play, exercise balls

Hardware/lumber: Rope, tarps, paint mixers (great little paddles), bungee cord, snap hooks and connectors, clamps, sandpaper, dowel rods for canes or spreader bars, eye bolts, chains, alligator clips, plastic rods.

Bike Shops:  small inner tubes (slice lengthwise for flogger)

Medical/lab supply: Catheters, enema gear, forceps, latex, needles, scalpels, disinfectants, ambulance shears (emergency bondage cutter), urethral sounds, speculums, restraints, backboards, c-spine collars and rigid braces

Army Disposals: Billy clubs, handcuffs, thumbcuffs, uniforms and boots, ex-army steel 'play bags'.

http://www.soj.org/articles/toys.html

Resource List Workshop 5 - Pervertables, Toys on a Budget.

Knots

http://www.earlham.edu/~peters/knotlink.htm#knottying

http://www.nawashi.com/tutor/index.html

For people that just love to make stuff:

http://www.saroftreve.com/wwl/index.htm

http://www.saroftreve.com/workshop/projects.shtml

http://www.brockpress.com/media/storage/paper384/news/2005/11/08/Opinion/Diy-Bdsm.Gear-1050153.shtml?norewrite200608232222&sourcedomain=www.brockpress.com

http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/instruments/

http://www.frugaldomme.com/frugal.htm

http://bdsmhome.annasart.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=56

http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/bondage/96bondage.html

http://www.soj.org/articles/toys.html

http://www.frugaldomme.com/frugal.htm

General leatherworking reference

http://iilg.org/links/Reference/index.html

Chastity Belts:

http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/homebilt.htm

Fun with clamps

http://www.fools-errant.com/bdsm/biy.html

Remote-controlled vibes

http://www.symtoys.com/toy1.html

Make your first flogger

http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/carmb/howflog.html

Toy making lists

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bdsmtoys

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dungeon_toys

http://www.fetishexchange.org/kinky-crafts.shtml

http://www.saroftreve.com/workshop/links.shtml

Facts & Tutorials:

http://directory.google.com/Top/Adult/Society/Sexuality/Activities_and_Practices/BDSM/FAQs_and_Tutorials/

http://www.dorsetbdsm.com/

Journals:

http://kinkytinker.tribe.net/?current=tribetopics&set=y#tabs

http://www.livejournal.com/community/bdsmdiy

http://bob-basset.livejournal.com/

Using nature: stinging nettle

http://www.mordor.u-net.com/smbd/nettles.html

Collars, cuffs and restraints:

http://fools-errant.com/bdsm/diy/

Ideas:

http://www.saroftreve.com/home/museum/museum1.htm

Books:

http://www.tbbbb.com/projects.html

Wiseman, Jay. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Miller, P. & Devon, M. "Screw the Roses, Send Me thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998

 Workshop 4: BDSM Safety & Emergency Care

Negotiation brief overview:

DO discuss:

*Hard limits, what you will suffer/give out and what you will not.

*How you CURRENTLY feel physically & emotionally just before play.

*Psychological barriers - phobias, flashbacks & turnoffs

*Cultural barriers - family structures & legal institutions

*Ethnic barriers - personal taboo’s, imprinting & brainwashing

**********FEAR is to be played with consentually***************

*Has the Top/bottom RECENTLY been screened for Sexually Transmitted Infections - STI’s?

****IF NOT USE UNIVERSAL PRECAUTIONS TO LIMIT CROSS-CONTAMINATION*****

Cross contamination: universal precautions

Universal precautions are simple infection control measures that reduce the risk of transmission of bloodborne pathogens through exposure to blood or body fluids among patients and health care workers. Under the “universal precaution” principle, blood and body fluids from all persons should be considered as infected with HIV, regardless of the known or supposed status of the person.

How to Ensure Universal Precautions

1.  Use of new, single-use disposable injection equipment for all injections is highly recommended.

 2. Discard contaminated sharps immediately and without recapping in puncture and liquid proof containers that are closed, sealed and destroyed before completely full.

3. Autoclave or bleach stainless objects

 4. Wash hands with soap and water before and after procedures; use of protective barriers such as gloves, gowns aprons, masks, goggles for direct contact with blood and other body fluids.

5. Disinfect instruments and other contaminated equipment.

6. Properly handle soiled linen. (Soiled linen should be handled as little as possible. Gloves and leakproof bags should be used if necessary. Cleaning should occur outside patient areas, using detergent and hot water.)

STERILISATION, DISINFECTION, AND ANTISEPTICS

*Sterilization is the complete destruction of all micro-organisms

*Disinfection is an agent capable of killing disease producing living micro organisms, BUT NOT NECESSARILY SPORE FORMS.  Too caustic for skin

*Antiseptics are disinfectants for the skin, capable of preventing or REDUCING sepsis, by killing or inhibiting growth & multiplication of micro organisms.

*Direct flame quickly kills all organisms, but will blunt and weaken metal.

For home sterilization:

Preheated oven:  40 minutes @ 180 deg C

Pressure cooker:  30 minutes @ 115 deg C

To make your own normal saline solution:

Mix 1/2 teaspoon of salt in one cup (8 oz) of warm water. Make a fresh supply each day to avoid bacterial contamination. You may also buy individual-use packets of sterile saline solution.

Common problems and prevention

I just want to briefly touch on safewords, contact & safety:

*Safewords are words used during a scene to let the Top know how the bottom is feeling despite external reactions/signs. 

*Other than Red, amber, green: use real names Vs scene names

*Some subs cannot verbally communicate when in space/gagged = use audible or held objects

*Agree on safewords before the scene and keep them simple.

Contact safety

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW THIS PERSON?

Can this person give you any kind of reference - what munches and clubs are they known at?
Have any of your friends or fellow pervs heard of them?

 Are they known by people at the places they say they are known at?

Ask around. People will understand and gladly help you.

Get their home phone number and address, real name, email, and car registration. If they won't even give you their phone number, SERIOUSLY DON'T MEET THEM!

Meet in a public place, like a munch, a cafe, or restaurant and steer away from pubs and alcohol; getting tipsy will cloud your judgment.

Take care of what you drink! If you have read the paper or seen the news you will know about drinks being spiked!

Introduce them to others with more experience or for an unbiased opinion.

Common problems and typical situations    

• 1 sprains, strains, bruising and nerve impingement
• body temperature regulation
• burns - wax, rope, electricity
• bloodsports and bleeding
• falls & fainting

PSYCHOLOGICAL SITUATIONS:

• Taboos, cultural cringe, stigma. E.G.:  anal homophobia - men:

 Enjoying anal stimulation does NOT make you a bitch, or latently gay

(Lol, it does, if it makes you feel better to be labeled as such)-Ed.

•  Sudden onset phobias, flashbacks- forgotten happiness, hidden abuse

E.G: heterophobia: dykes not liking cock-like toys, poofs not liking slits

•  Social/public interruptions&clashes: verbal & non-verbal interferences

E.G.  Laughing, pointing, wrong music, background noise

First Aid Kit - Short

EMT Scissors - cutting ropes, bondage materials, pads and bandages
2-3 Combine pads / Sanitary pads - for absorbing blood sanitary pads are a
cheap and sometimes more readily available alternative to combine and are
specifically designed for adsorbing blood
Crepe bandage 7.5cm - used for holding pads in place over wounds 7.5 cm is
the most convent size for any type of bandage
Micro pore medical tape - I find in practically limited use but good for
taping to skin limited reaction good for taping fingers
Gauze squares 5x5 cm - used for cleaning and padding wounds. An alternative
is makeup pads but make shore they have no lose fibres as these can infect
wounds
Band aids - for those little cuts
Sugar lollies - for if some one is showing signs of low sugar / hypoglycaemia
Gloves - a must for every kit to protect from cross infection because you
never know
Condoms and lube - again for personal protection and for the protection of
toys (stops staining) use multiple layers allows for quick change of
orifices always use water based lube as others will brake down the condoms
and they will probably brake
Safety glasses - the eyes have very thin membranes and easily absorb
contaminates a real must for any blood play
Blanket - for temperature regulation after play or if someone goes in to
shock



First aid kit - extended

Stop Bleed - coagulating compound helps stop bleeding fast. Patch test a day
before use to check for reactions
Spray Bandage - water proof spray on "skin" good for abrasions or other
parentally infectious. Patch test a day before use to check for reactions
wounds
Pawpaw ointment aids in healing wounds and keeps out infection faster they
heal the faster you can play again
Saline 10ml tubes good for cleaning wounds and irrigating eyes no good for
the mouth use milk (milk can also be used in the eyes)
Non-stick dressings (melonine) - used as an initial dressing generally blood
dose not adhere to these and they draw away fluid allowing wounds to heal
faster also helps keep bandages from getting bloody
Crape bandages 7.5 cm - good bandage for holding pads to wounds
Elastic bandages 7.5cm - good bandage for sprains and immobilisation
Triangular bandages - The all-round bandage good as a pad for holding pads
in place and for slings
Tweezers or probes for splinter removal large needles also make grate
splinter probes and are disposable
Sharps container for use with all sharps and contaminated waste fill no
further than 2/3 full as you may start pushing other stuff out
Ice should always available for swelling and blood flow reduction into an
area (also can be a lot of fun!!!)

Medical emergencies/signs & symptoms/treatment

• asthma
• veinous pooling
• anaphylaxis & other allergic reactions
• epilepsy
• diabetes
• breaks
• exposure
• stroke
• heart attack
• inter-organ injuries
• shock

Information Play specific ONLY:

*Sharps container for use with all sharps and contaminated waste fill no
further than 2/3 full as you may start pushing other sharps up, and out

*Hold the sharps container AT THE BOTTOM ONLY – you may pierce the vessel whilst disposing – this is most common in the top half of the container!  Beware!

*Once a sharps bin has been used in play – classify it CONTAMINATED – think how many times during a scene your gloved hand touched that container and
*Alcohol wipes for cleaning instruments only and have very limited use as a
skin cleaner – it kills good bacteria and hardens the armour of a virus’.

Common problems and typical situations

Sprains strains bruising and nerve impingement
Some possible causes may include: 

• Tied up for to long
• Tied in awkward position
• Badly tied (to tight etc)
• Type of rope (may get tight if sub struggles)

Fall

Sprains strains bruising -treat with R.I.C.E.
Rest - Sit or lay the casualty down to reduce heart rate

Ice - to relive pain and swelling

Compression bandage (7.5cm elastic works best) to immobilise and reduce swelling.

Elevation - raise the injured area above the level of the heart reduce blood to area, therefore reduces swelling. Also look at need to refer to hospital or doctor.
Nerve impingement - remove impingement, position comfortable below heart exercise limb if possible to improve blood flow. Again look at need to refer

Body temperature regulation
Tops get hot bottoms get cold
Fluid is of concern - should be room temp water or light cordial
Top needs to be aware of overheating and getting cold after play so dress appropriately and have warm cloths available for after.
Bottom need to be aware of getting cold and speaking up especially kidneys area and look at putting on clothing on areas that are not being worked upon. Also beanie may help due to amount of heat lost though head. The position of arms should also be considered as heat is lost under arms and from elbows, look at positing the arms crossed across the chest.


Burns

Some possible causes may include:
Wax, rope, cigarette & electricity (3rd degree)

1^st degree burn is a reddening of the area 2^nd degree blisters 3^rd degree charred
Cool 20min running water and cover light loose linen dressing to protect from pathogens and refer 2nd and 3rd degree as well as any burns to face throat and genitals to hospital.

Blood sports and bleeding
Safety first gloves, goggles, sharps container, cleanable surface (bleach
preferred)
Treat an excessive bleeding immediately with P.E.R. Pressure direct pressure to the area such as pad and bandage. Elevation raise above heart and Rest sit or lay down stop activity reduce heart rate

Falls and fainting

Some possible causes may include:
Tied up to long
Moving around with sense depravation involved
Trips
Psychological
Tying upper body before lower
Lay casualty down raise legs where possible
Check for other injuries

Medical Emergencies - signs symptoms and treatment
Collapse - Heart attack
Anaphylaxis and other allergic reactions
Venous pooling and fainting
Stroke
Shock

Signs & symptoms
Discomfort, constriction with in chest
Occurs on exertion
Pain radiates from under the sternum in to arm jaw neck teeth

Pale, clammy skin
Restlessness
Rapid breathing
Dizzy, disorientated
Nausea
Collapse
Slow, pounding pulse.

Treatment:
If someone is going down, allow them to do so safely.
Check how they feel - if concerned call ambulance
Lay down on back, and elevate legs
For stroke: lay on strong side. Look for slurred speech loss of tone on one side.
If they have any medication, assist them with it.

Asthma

Signs & Symptoms:
Wheezing or difficulty breathing (especially on exhalation)
coughing
rapid pulse
pale and sweating
cyanosis - bluish discoloration of the skin, tongue and the lining of the
mouth
collapse or unconsciousness.

Treatment:
reassure
sit in a comfortable upright position
if available give 2-4 puffs of a reliever spray (ventolin)
watch for improvement assist with more medication
refer to ambulance if no improvement.
ARC guideline 8.15 giving reliever to someone not diagnosed with asthma at recommended dose is not likely to cause harm.


Epilepsy

Signs & symptoms
Seizure mild to sever
May also be caused by head trauma form fall
Loss of consciousness

Treatment
Clear area of hazards and sharp objects
Pad under head if on hard surface
Time seizure do not restrain or place any thing in mouth
Place casualty on side after seizure
Call ambulance if concerned, if longer then 5min, repeated seizure, injured,
pregnant, no history of seizure


Diabetes - hypo - Low blood sugar
Signs & symptoms

Develops quickly with in 15 min
Sweating
Weakness, trembling
Light headed
May go unconscious if neglected

Treatment
Give fruit juice or non diet soft drink, lollies, sugar dissolved in water
Fit no sign of felling better in few minutes call ambulance
Give small meal of biscuits or sandwich if they start to show signs of recovery.

Breaks - fractures
Generally from falls
Treat any bleeding first with P.E.R.
Immobilise with bandages and splint

Refer to hospital
Ice maybe used for pain

The Four A's

1Awareness - awareness of problems

2Assessment - what is occurring, plan what to do

3Action - Plan and DO

4Aftercare - coming down, future prevention

• ·Ask audience if they thought of any past experiences/scenarios gone awry over the break
• ·Offer own personal examples.
• ·break the scenarios down into the 4 A's

ATTACHED ARTICLES:

Harness Hang Syndrome in

Suspension Bondage

February 2006

I have had the pleasure of playing with a wonderful lady who enters an almost trance-like state in a bondage tie. Recently, I placed her in a simple face down suspension. No problems with the rope harnesses. She hung motionless – trance-like - gently swaying back and forth to good music – otherwise quiet room. The scene was awesome. When I started to take her down, she suffered hot flushes and nausea. These are typical pre-syncopal symptoms associated with the “Harness Hang Syndrome” And, it was my introduction to these problems.

I have also been present when an experienced suspension bondage Top suffered similar problems with his bottom. And his bottom was NOT in a trance-like state, but just very still. I suspect these problems occur more frequently than we would guess. I think anytime a bottom is relatively motionless in a

suspension, he/she is at risk for the Harness Hang Syndrome symptoms.

The problems associated with Harness Hang Syndrome (also called suspension trauma or orthostatic syncope) are contained in discussions related to safety harnesses in an industrial environment or recreational activities such as mountain or cave climbing. I’ve never seen any discussion of similar problems in a suspension bondage safety tutorial or context.

Harness Hang Syndrome (HHS) is an important issue. According to the literature, these problems can develop in a very short time – a few minutes. Some of the symptoms include faintness, nausea, hot flushes, sweats, breathlessness, feeling of panic or unwellness, “greying" or loss of vision, change in pulse rate (suddenly slowing or becoming rapid). While these are mostly uncomfortable symptoms, if the HHS is not corrected relatively quickly, much more serious and sometimes life threatening conditions can develop.

Let me emphasize, however, that I am neither a bondage expert nor a medical expert. These are simply my opinions resulting from my personal experience and my analysis of studies reported by others. You should conduct your own study, consult with experts, and draw your own conclusions.

These are the conclusions of my analyses, presented in a question and answer style.

What are the causes of Harness Hang Syndrome (HHS)?

It appears to me, only two requirements exist for HHS to occur:

1) A body position that allows blood to accumulate from gravity (venous pooling) in the legs or arms, and

2) Lack of motion – so that the “muscle pumps” don’t redistribute the blood back into the body cavity in a near normal fashion.

Is constriction of arteries or veins necessary to cause the Harness Hang Syndrome?

Constriction of arteries or veins may aggravate the problems – but it is not necessary to cause the Harness Hang Syndrome.

Do you lay a victim suffering from the Harness Hang Syndrome down after releasing them from the suspension?

No. This is counter-intuitive. Many people tend to think it is important to lay the victim down to get blood into the brain. However, it is important to sit the victim upright for a while. When the blood that has accumulated in the legs flows abruptly into the heart it creates a risk of heart failure due to overstrain.

How do you avoid the Harness Hang Syndrome in a bondage suspension?

The cause of the Harness Hang Syndrome is lack of motion; not using the "muscle

pumps" in the arms/legs to help redistribute the blood that accumulates in arms/legs hanging lower than the body cavity. It seems logical if you eliminate these conditions, you should eliminate the risk of Harness Hang Syndrome.

1) Don't allow your bottom to be motionless. If their legs are suspended below their body, be sure they move their legs. Make them flex their muscles. By moving or flexing their legs, they activate the "muscle pumps" in their legs and you should not have the HHS problem.

2) It seems logical that another way to avoid the problem is to make sure your bottom’s legs and arms are at least horizontal with or slightly above the body cavity. This position prevents the blood from accumulating in the legs or arms due to gravity, which removes one condition/requirement for causing the HHS.

The references that form the basis of my analysis and opinions are included in:

The U.S. Department of Labor Occupational Safety & Health Administration (OSHA) has prepared a document “Suspension

Trauma/Orthostatic Intolerance” (http://www.osha.gov/dts/shib/shib032404.html)

“Harness suspension: review and http://www.hse.gov.uk/research/crr_htm/2002/crr02451.htm)

Paul Seddon’s report is a comprehensive review of other researchers' works and is referenced by

OSHA’s brief report (by my count) nine times. The first 45 pages of Seddon’s report give a very good summary of the causes and treatment suggestions for Harness Hang Syndrome.

I'm only reporting on the expertise and studies of multiple recognized medical experts who have published articles about the HHS problem. These multiple "experts" have had substantial peer review of their work and conclusions. The conclusions I’ve made are my own based on my analysis of the published data.

Let me emphasize, again, that I am neither a bondage expert nor a medical expert. These are simply my opinions and conclusions resulting from my personal experience and my analysis of published studies by others. You should conduct your own study, consult with experts, and develop your own conclusions.

Have fun and be safe.

Gary

ClintEman77380@Yahoo.com

Quotes from Published References

I hope these quotes are helpful. They are extracts from longer references. I’ve chosen them to highlight

the points I think are important. I strongly recommend you read at least the first 45 pages of Seddon’s report (http://www.hse.gov.uk/research/crr_htm/2002/crr02451.htm.

(Page references are from Seddon’s report unless otherwise noted. Italicized comments are mine.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Page 1) --“The fundamental cause of orthostatic syncope seems to be venous pooling.”

(Page 1 and 2) -- “Venous pooling is the accumulation of blood in the veins (typically in the legs) due to gravity. Some venous pooling when a person is stood up is normal. Muscular action in moving the limbs, together with one-way valves in the veins normally assists the return of blood in the veins back to the heart. If the legs are completely immobile, these “muscle pumps” do not operate and an excess of blood accumulates in the veins, which are capable of considerable expansion and, therefore, considerable capacity. Retention of blood in the venous system reduces the circulating blood volume available to the heart. Thus, the circulatory system is disturbed. During excessive venous pooling, cardiac output and arterial pressure fall, which may critically reduce the quantity and/or quality of (oxygenated) blood flowing to the brain and precipitate syncope.”

(Page 2) --“Loss of consciousness assures that a suspended person will not be moving his or her limbs, so venous pooling will increase, which will in turn reduce the circulating blood volume even further. In addition, any restrictions of the femoral arteries and veins caused by the harness straps could be a contributory factor to venous pooling.”

(The emphasis on the words, “In addition”, is mine. Restrictions of the femoral arteries or veins are NOT a primary requirement for venous pooling.)

(Page 2) – “Tolerance to the effects of ortostasis appears to vary between individuals. However, evidence shows that given sufficient time, orthostatic shock, pre-syncopal effects and syncope will occur.”

******************************************************

There is research published in Aviation, Space and Environmental Medicine by P Madsen, et al (see page 19) where they studied the “tolerance of human beings in general to orthostasis (not just those suspended in a harness). “

(Pages 19 and 20) – “The research programme consisted of two sets of trials. The first involved the human test subject lying on a tiltable board equipped with a pillow and bicycle saddle fixed to the board, the latter providing support when the angle dictated it to be necessary. … The second set of trials required the subject to be suspended in a double padded strop arrangement. One strop was placed around the thorax and connected to a rope, and the other strop was passed under the legs just behind the knees and connected to the rope in the same place as the first strop. … On lifting the subject into a suspended position, a sitting position was assumed, so the upper part of the legs was roughly just above the horizontal.”

The results are reported on pages 20 and 21. In summary, there were substantial differences in tolerance among the volunteers. However, there was significant improvement in tolerance when hung with the legs raised to slightly above the horizontal.

(Page 21) -- “During the double-strop suspension study, only the female subject experienced presyncopal symptoms and was taken down after 50 minutes. This subject also took part in the head-up tilt tests where she experienced pre-syncopal symptoms after only five minutes.”

(Page 30) – “It should be remembered that Madsen et al’s test subjects were not suspended in

harnesses: they were either supported by a bicycle saddle or a double strop arrangement that held their legs high. … Had harnesses been used, the restricting effects of the straps could have affected the results detrimentally.”

******************************************************

(Page 21) – “In the medical effects of being suspended in safety harnesses (1997) .., Bariod and Thery

discuss the pathology caused by safety harnesses for cavers, which actually applies to all persons suspended in a harness. …

… The pathology caused by safety harnesses only occurs in the special context of a person hanging suspended and motionless.”

(Page 22) – “All the collated research points to a primary cause of suspension trauma: venous pooling.

The main problem is that excessive blood pooled in the legs means that the amount of blood in the circulatory system is considerably reduced and so the heart has less blood to pump. This leads to abnormalities such as an unusually rapid heart rate which is then followed by an unusually low heart rate with low pulse pressure, and symptoms such as dizziness, nausea, sweating, ringing in the ears and loss of vision. Loss of consciousness (orthostatic syncope) can occur, followed by death, due to lack of blood to the brain. “

******************************************************

In a recorded lecture by Dr Amphoux ---

(Page 24) – “… It was possible to invoke the inevitable compression of the tops of the thighs on most harnesses tried. Even if that compression was light, it was possible that there was a disturbance of the return (blood) circulation and cardiac depression caused by the accumulation of the waste products. But, the troubles occurred just as much with certain harness models in which the buttock straps are kept in place by straps which did not compress at this level. … “

“The most probable hypothesis, therefore, is that the absence of muscular contractions more than the compressions lead to an important blood stasia at the lower level of the limbs.”

******************************************************

These quotes come from a report by Petermeyer and Unterhalt (1997) –

(Page 25) – “… healthy volunteers who hung motionless in a leg loop harness as part of the tests reported ringing in the ears, dizziness and nausea after between 5 and 22 minutes. A drop in systolic blood pressure with accompanying tachycardia and a fall in the glomerula filtration rate indicated the onset of shock. The symptoms improved as soon as the test subjects exercised their leg muscle pump.”

******************************************************

From C Loyd (Harness-induced pathology (2001) –

(Page 31) – “ .. Hanging is a sit harness may, or may not, adversely affect the circulation of blood to the legs by compression, depending on the harness and the particular person. The point is that just the nonmovement of the legs is enough to significantly decrease that circulation.

If the legs and arms aren’t moving, there is no pumping action, and blood tends to stagnate in the arms and legs. This means there is less blood to return to the heart, and the arms and legs may even get puffy (oedema) from the extra fluid there. The lessened blood flow to the heart, and then subsequently to the head, is what leads to the faintness (experienced in pre-syncope).”

******************************************************

(Page 42) – “It is clear from the evidence provided by the research covered in this review that any person who is suspended in an upright and motionless position is at risk of excessive venous pooling and therefore, suspension trauma. However, evidence is not apparent of suspension trauma in a normal working environment, where workers are suspended in harnesses while working, e.g. in rope access, (as opposed to workers who are suspended motionless or relatively motionless after a fall and/or have been injured).”

(Page 44) -- “There could be two main reasons for this:

a) that workers who have to work suspended in a harness try to ensure that the harness and/or system of suspension that they use is comfortable;

b) that these workers are usually carrying out physical work, which encourages muscle pumping in the limbs and. Therefore, normal return of venous blood to the heart.”

******************************************************

In OSHA’s document “Suspension Trauma/Orthostatic Intolerance”

(http://www.osha.gov/dts/shib/shib032404.html ), it states under Conclusions and Recommendations –

“Be aware that some authorities advise against moving the rescued workers to a horizontal position too quickly.”

In OSHA’s document “Suspension Trauma/Orthostatic Intolerance”

"The amount of time spent in this position, with the legs below the heart, affects the manner in which the worker should be rescued. Moving the worker quickly into a horizontal position - a natural reaction – is likely to cause a large volume of deoxygenated blood to move to the heart, if the worker had been suspended for an extended period. The heart may be unable to cope with the abrupt increase in blood flow, causing cardiac arrest."

******************************************************

In Seddon’s report, he quotes researchers on multiple pages, including ---

(Page 42) – “Important! The casualty must never be laid down after being rescued from the suspended position, not even in the recovery position. The casualty should be positioned with the upper body raised, i.e. in a seated, or possibly squatting or crouched posture … Laying the casualty down horizontally could be life threatening. The blood that has accumulated in the legs flows abruptly into the heart creating a risk of heart failure due to overstrain. … “

(The italicized bold face type in the previous paragraph is the same type font emphasis in Seddon’s report. I did NOT add it for emphasis. The emphasis is in Seddon’s report.)

******************************************************

(Page 44) - .. researchers themselves strongly advise that the casualty is initially placed in a huddled position, for example sat up against a wall, possibly with the knees raised, for a period of around 20 to 40 minutes and only moved to a horizontal position gradually after this. This is to prevent massive return of venous pooled blood to the heart, which cannot cope, and which can result in cardiac arrest due to a failure of the right ventricle."

******************************************************

(Page 37) – "A certain dilemma arises with respect to the administration of medical first aid after a person is rescued from a suspended position, particularly if there is a loss of consciousness. On the one hand, the lack of blood circulating through the brain must be eliminated and this can be achieved by laying the accident victim flat. On the other hand, lying flat can endanger the life of the person who has been rescued, as the volume of blood that has flowed down the legs suddenly flows to the shock-damaged heart, which may fail due to overload as a result of too much blood flowing into it all at once ('rescue death'). We recommend a compromise whereby the accident victim is positioned so that the upper body is definitely uppermost at first (sitting or huddled position). ... The accident victim should be moved only  gradually until he is lying flat."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Gary

ClintEman77380@yahoo.com

Introduction to BDSM Safety & Emergency Care.  Workshop 4 Resources

Books:

Folsom Electric Company.  "Warnings and Safety"  Guide to Electric Sex Calafornia. 1996 (2)

Haberman, H . "Family Jewels"  Greenery Press. United States. 2001

Morin, J PH.D.  "Anal Pleasure and Health"  Third Edition. Down There Press. United States. 1998

Rinella, J. "The Master's Manual" Daedalus Publishing Company. Los Angeles. 1994

The Royal Life Saving Society Australia.  "Senior First Aid Certificate Course: Training Notes" RLSSA New South Wales Branch. 1997

Spectrum. "Hot Wax and Temperature Play" Greenery Press. United States. 2004

Wiseman, J. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Magazine Articles:

Masterson, M.  "Safety in Sex Activities" OUT! #156 2001 (38-40)

Michelle. "Shock" The SandMUtopian Gaurdian #22 1996 (16-18)

Selene, A.  "Safewords Revisited" The SandMUtopian Gaurdian #18 1995 (13-15)

Thzerno, B.  "Practical Tips" Secret Magazine #10  1996

Websites:

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsafety.html

http://www.fetishexchange.org/safety03.shtml

http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=res&uid=default&category=SEX+SAFETY&view_records=View+Records

http://domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=rescat&uid=default&category=*&view_records=View+Records&dc=3

http://www.cuffs.com/submission/safety.html

http://www.sexuality.org/l/subnet/links.html

http://www.ozabis.info/bsafety.html

http://www.evilmonk.org/A/health00.cfm

http://www.fetishexchange.org/

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/generalbdsm.htm

http://www.unrealities.com/adult/ssbb/l.htm

http://www.soj.org/faq.html

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/lofts/6140/survkink.htm

http://www.imagina.com/~hollybeth/Sanguinalia/blood.html

http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp

http://www.urologychannel.com/std/index.shtml

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/support/std_clinics_australia.htm#Queensland%20(QLD)

http://www.medicalonline.com.au/medical/professional/aids/resources.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/jillnegoform.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/electricplaylist.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ravenpremeetchecklist.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/abuse/ravensignsabuse.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/zennmtngexperience2.htm

http://www.graydancer.com/ropeweekly/hhs.html

Safety Certification:

http://www.rlssq.com.au/

http://www.royallifesaving.com.au/

AN INTRODUCTION TO SENSORY DEPRIVATION workshop by Miss Red

Sensory deprivation refers literally to the artificial deprivation of the senses : auditory, visual, tactile, olfactory, gustatory and kinesthetic.

au·di·to·ry (ôd-tôr, -tr)

adj.

Of or relating to hearing, the organs of hearing, or the sense of hearing.

vi·su·al (vzh-l)

adj.

1. Of or relating to the sense of sight: a visual organ; visual receptors on the retina.

2. Seen or able to be seen by the eye; visible: a visual presentation; a design with a dramatic visual effect.

3. Optical.

4. Done, maintained, or executed by sight only: visual navigation.

5. Having the nature of or producing an image in the mind: a visual memory of the scene.

6. Of or relating to a method of instruction involving sight.

tac·tile (tktl, -tl)

adj.

1.  Perceptible to the sense of touch; tangible.

2. Used for feeling: a tactile organ.

3. Of, relating to, or proceeding from the sense of touch; tactual: a tactile reflex.

ol·fac·to·ry (l-fkt-r, -tr, l-)

adj.

Of, relating to, or contributing to the sense of smell.

gus·ta·to·ry (gst-tôr, -tr) also gus·ta·tive (-t-tv)

adj.

Of or relating to the sense of taste.

kin·es·the·sia (kns-thzh, kns-)

n.

The sense that detects bodily position, weight, or movement of the muscles, tendons, and joints.

Noun1.

sense experience,  sense impression

an unelaborated elementary awareness of stimulation; "a sensation of touch"

sense datum

n.

A basic unanalyzable sensation, such as a color or smell, experienced upon stimulation of a sense organ or receptor.

Sensory deprivation refers literally to the artificial deprivation of the senses: auditory, visual, tactile, olfactory, gustatory and kinesthetic.

Sensory deprivation is the practice of temporarily 'removing from' or depriving someone from making uses of one or more of these senses. When we are deprived of input from one of the 5 senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch), the other senses compensate by becoming more acute.  It's not that the senses improve their capabilities, but that rather we pay more attention to the information they send to our brain.

Sensory deprivation involves cutting off and controlling all five senses of hearing, sight, touch, smell, taste and body orientation through masks, blindfolds, gags, hoods, body bags, ear plugs and many other devices. Also, this is often combined with oxygen control, as in masks with airtubes/pisstubes. This heightens the perception of every bit of input that the bottom receives, and makes every sensation stronger. It will maximize the experience of all the other senses, and also make you feel less self conscious.

Sound/Auditory Deprivation

It can be hard to make sure someone actually hears nothing at all, never mind how well their ears are insulated. The most straightforward is to use a pair of common earplugs, earmuffs, or both.  Earplugs do vary greatly....do use disposable foam earplugs for hygiene reasons, and do note the Noise Reduction Rating of the earplug, as they vary greatly...the higher the better.  30 is quite high…you will just have to shop around.

Background music played at a medium to loud level that is suited to the theme of play is a great way to block out 'every-day' noise'. Noises that are familiar in daily life tend to ground the submissive in real-time, and so it is desired to remove or mask these sounds to help the submissive divert their thoughts to their own internal space.  Dungeon music with whip crack, screams, or electricity crackling can really put a sub into space almost immediately.

 No one likes their scene broken by ringing phones...be sure this won't happen before starting the scene.

For a more high-tech approach, you can use a pair of headphones--the kind that fit entirely over the ear--connected to something that produces static or white noise, like a TV with no signal (or even a tape recording of static).  Try atmospheric generators to simulate all kinds of outdoor noise...a stream, the bush at night, a thunderstorm, rolling waves at the beach....the possibilities are endless.

In any event, a submissive who cannot hear day to day noises will tend to feel other things much more intensely, just as the more suited the sounds are to the role play, the more 'real' the situation can become, and the deeper the space achieved.

POSSIBLE PROBLEMS:

The sub cannot hear bangs and crashes whether it be from another part of the house/room or if the Dom has fallen over and unconscious, if the kids are home early, phobia onset of being deaf.  The anxiety may be expressed by crying, freezing, or clinging.

Sight/Visual Deprivation

'Blindness cuts people off from things. Deafness cuts people off from people' wrote Helen Keller.

This is easily achieved with an effective blindfold. People usually rely on sight more than any other sense, and depriving them of it for more than a few minutes can have a powerful effect.

Masks and blindfolds can be made out of common things like scarves, or you can purchase expensive hoods and masks at fetish shops.

A tip: make sure the sub cannot peek through small gaps near the nose....if they can, they will, and this will detract from when you are attempting to achieve.  Put a makeup pad under blindfolds, or simply use makeup pads and medical tape.

Bondage masks and hoods

A Bondage mask is an item of clothing worn over the face and head. A Bondage hood is an item of clothing worn over the whole head.

Typically made from cloth such as Spandex, plastic, leather or latex rubber, bondage masks and hoods vary considerably in form and function. The simplest bondage mask may be a simple sleeping mask used in a BDSM context, but such masks range right up to the elaborate full head leather hoods or stylized gas masks specifically designed for BDSM play.

A bondage mask may be worn by either the dominant or submissive participants of BDSM emphasizing either the psychological dominance of the top or the helplessness and humiliation of the bottom.

The mask or hood for a Dominant functions as a disguise to add mystery, fear and anonymity, and can emphasize a certain role .

New/nervous Tops may find masks and hoods a useful tool to help get into role, and therefore add confidence to their actions.

 The mask for a bottom often functions as a blindfold and may also incorporate a gag.  Though technically, gags are not a form of sensory deprivation, removing the submissives ability to talk does however augment the submissives other senses.

Sounds are also muffled by hoods and masks, and for the submissive, hoods and masks offer anonymity... self- identity

may be stripped away, lending to the ability to drift into deeper space considering that facial expressions and actions are not under scrutiny by those around them, and therefore being free to relax any energy wasted on maintaining  'self image'.

You can use something as simple as a pillow case for a hood, or a few layers of stockings, 'bank robber' style.

Gas Masks usually also utilize breath play in conjunction...depriving some ability to breathe...total control, but also totally dangerous.  There is an interesting site in the resources worth checking out.

POSSIBLE PROBLEMS:

Sub cannot see obstacles, balance affected, PHOBIAS: claustrophobia, NyctophobiaSymptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread, inability to speak or think clearly or sensation of detachment from reality.

Submission!> Often phobias do not arise until the body is put into a position of 'no choice'...if your sub wants out NOW get them the hell out quickly, and reassuringly.

Gag problems: loss of speech - can't verbally respond or alert top, vomiting, nosebleeds, colds, sinus/hayfever, and dehydration.

Olfactory and Gustatory Deprivation/Augmentation

Often, our olfactory senses are the first to pick up on something different in our immediate area.  The smell of something burning tells us that there is fire nearby, the stove was left on, the iron blew up... and sets our internal alert system clanging... the smells of a delicious meal wafting over from the neighbours house will invariably rumble an empty belly, the smell of something acidic like sweet and sour pork, will produce spurts of saliva to neutralize and lubricate what may be about to enter the mouth. 

To some extent we are also able to TASTE through what we smell. 

Without our nose...things just wouldn't taste the same...just like when we have a cold, food seems to be quite bland in flavour.  For the submissive that curls their nose up at a beverage you have so kindly offered, why not peg their nose while they try to enjoy one of their regular beverages...the bliss of being able to taste soon becomes prsometimes called bondage mitts) are pouch-like coverings that fasten securely around the wrists, holding the hands in closed fists or palms flat.

Unlike mittens for cold-weather use, bondage mittens are tubes

or bags without a separate thumb and are typically made of leather or some other stiff material to prevent the wearer from grasping through the material of the mittens.

With the 'palms flat' type, they are so stiff and close-fitting that they should make it impossible to close the hand into a fist. With this type, there is often a ring at the tip to which ropes can be connected for further tying-up.

Similar mitten-like devices exist for institutional use as patient restraints.

Socks, Glad wrap, freezer bags and duct or packaging tape can be the first way to try tactile deprivation without the expense of professionally made mittens.

3 pairs of tight socks over the arms is a very efficient way of limiting use and the senses associated with touch.  Place a freezer bag over the hands, or glad wrap the hands before surrounding the hands with tape.  You may notice that fingers will wriggle  and attempts to open and close the hands immediately after applying mittens...the submissive is always attempting to find and push boundaries given to them.

Limit or heighten the sensation in the feet with ultra tight boots, ballet boots, and bondage that exposes areas or confines areas.

Duct tape is convenient in some circumstances and is readily available in black or silver.

However, be careful about applying it to bare skin: ripping it off will remove hairs and possibly even skin and can be painful, and irritation may result from contact with the adhesive. Go easy, or apply it over a barrier material such as vet wrap or pallet wrap.

Total enclosure

Fetishistic activities based on total enclosure of the body exist in several forms:

 * Rubber fetishists often fantasize about being totally enclosed in rubber suits and gas masks;

 * Vacuum beds rigidly enclose the entire body under a rubber sheet with a small breathing tube

 * Some bondage enthusiasts also use sleep sacks and body bags;

 * Zentai bodysuits offer those with a spandex-fetish the chance to be completely enclosed in skintight fabric from head to toe.

Whole-body catsuits known as zentai which cover the entire human body from head to toe are also a form of total enclosure fantasy. In the case of zentai, the wearer breathes through the loose-woven fabric itself, the garment is not as tight as a rubber or PVC garment would be, and the costume generally comes off with a zipper that can be operated by the wearer.

Breathing tube

A short rubber hose used for breathing with gasmasks and vacuum beds. A breathing tube can also be used for liquid intake play for long term enclosure and is a must for full body mummification.

Be sure tubing is secures/short enough that a fall will not close of tubing or push it down the throat....TUBING MUST BE RETRIEVABLE

Mummification

Mummification is a specialized

BDSM bondage practice involving tightly restraining a living person's body in a non-damaging way by wrapping it head to toe, or neck to toe, using materials like glad wrap or pallet wrap and duct/ gaffa tape, cloth, bandages, rubber strips, plaster bandages, bodybags, or straitjackets.  The end result is a person completely immobilized and looking like an Egyptian mummy. They may then either be left bound in a state of effective sensory deprivation for a period of time, or sensually

stimulated in their state of bondage, before being released from their wrappings.

Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play. Holes are then sometimes made for access to genitals and other areas. Remember throughout the wrapping, that absolute comfort is important in creating the headspace which is required to maximize the experience.

You should try to have at least one helper. The assistant will be responsible for maintaining the bottom in an upright position while you work with the wrapping material. The assistant must also maintain close communication with the bottom, to make sure the experience remains an enjoyable one for all concerned. The emotional high that this form of bondage produces can become scary if the environment is not comforting and safe.

Essential safety

First and foremost, breathing and other safety measures must be appropriately taken care of, usually by leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) open. As with all bondage practices, there should be a means for the bound person to communicate in an emergency, and a way to release them quickly if necessary (for example, using EMT scissors to cut their bonds). A bound person should never be left alone.

POSSIBLE PROBLEMS:

can't feel heat/cold as readily and therefore the bodies natural protective instincts may be lessened, inaccurate feeling of falling, can't support the body if falling, claustrophobia, tension/frustration, circulation problems, vomiting, nosebleeds, sinus/hayfever problems, overheating, dehydration: Using pallet wrap also brings up the issue of hydration in the body. When the body is tightly wrapped in plastic wrap, sweating occurs

more than usual (as the body is overheating to its new closed surroundings). The bound person should be (at least) aware of their own hydration and remember that if sweating occurs to an extreme, rehydration should take place.

Although many people would regard these experiences as claustrophobic, some people put their fantasies into practice, sometimes combining them with bondage to intensify feelings of helplessness.

As with all activities involving bondage or potential risk to breathing, this is a risky activity. Clearly, maintaining an airway, preventing postural asphyxia, and ensuring that the enclosed person has a means of escape at all times are of paramount importance, if these activities are not to result in death.

PLEASE NOTE:  The kinesthesiatic sense that detects bodily position, weight, or movement of the muscles, tendons, and joints, can be greatly affected during blindfolding, hooding, masking,

deafening, and any total enclosure/mummification process.

Mummification isn't really like most other types of bondage as you become intensely focused on the few small sensations that still remain -- your heartbeat, your breathing, and your thoughts. While mummified, you will experience sensory deprivation, as you would in a sensory deprivation tank, although on a somewhat lower level.

Whilst mummified, external stimuli become   sense experiences, and  sense impressions

- an unelaborated elementary awareness of stimulation; "a sensation of touch"

*tank article*

on floating in sensory deprivation tank:

It's about eight feet long by maybe three 1/2 feet high by three 1/2 feet wide.

The water in the tank isn't very deep, but since there are 800 lbs of salt dissolved in it, your body floats on top of the surface. It is heated to 93.4 degrees, and so is the air inside the tank. The tank is lined with a plastic liner, and is completely sealed to light.

The place we went to was called "Austin Floats".  It is run out of the home of a woman named Susan, and her husband Stephen. I thought this was a little strange, but once I saw their gorgeous Austin home, and the special small wing they had built just for the tank and shower, I was put at ease.

Susan explained the procedure, which can be summarized "shower, float, I will tap on the side of the tank when your time is up, don't get any water in your eyes because it burns like Hell, shower".

I took my shower, and climbed into the tank. I don't have much experience with meditation or any other alternative psychology, so I was a little freaked out at first. Would I be able to quiet my mind, or would I be lying in this tank for an eternity, with thoughts running around in my head, making me crazy?

The pitch black didn't bother me, and because it was so warm in there, my body became relaxed immediately. I was wearing earplugs, there was no light in the tank, and I couldn't tell what part of the tank was water, and what part was air, since they were both the same temperature. It felt like I was floating in space. My heart was thumping in my ears, and my breathing seemed to be really loud.

There was no way to mark the passage of time. I had no idea when Susan would come and tap on the tank to let me know when my hour was up. An hour doesn't seem like a very long time, but when you are floating in the dark with nothing but your thoughts, it can seem like, well, not an eternity, because there simply was no time at all.

I went through periods of mental clarity, followed by periods of "noise". At times it seemed like torture, and at other times very enjoyable. Toward the end, I held my hands up in front of my face and noticed that I could see them! They were dimly glowing blue! I looked down, and the rest of my body was glowing as well. Later, I found out that this is experienced by a small percentage of sensory deprivation participants. I think it happens because your mind creates a hologram where it thinks your body ought to be, and you can only see this when your eyes have been extremely sensitized. I was surprised and entertained by this, and was very disappointed when I heard the "thunderous" rapping on the side of the tank.

Afterwards, I didn't want to talk for a long time. I was almost in a trance. I sat speechless on Susan's couch, drinking a glass of iced tea and watching their dogs play in their backyard. I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper, and all of my senses were heightened. I still feel different today.

sense datum

n.

A basic unanalyzable sensation, such as a color or smell, experienced upon stimulation of a sense organ or receptor.

through stimuli to parts of the

body, the mind can relocate and offer a translation through other senses, for example pain has been associated with colour.

*OHP2 whipping therapy article*

OHP# jokes

You Are Too Old for BDSM When...

        * Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries.

        * Your nipple clamps have training wheels.

        * Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker.

        * When you tell your sub to get the cane, you have to specify "walking" or "beating".

        * You can't tell the difference between your tattoos and your age spots.

        * You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play.

        * Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose.

        * Your idea of suspension is an UltraLiftTM bra.

        * You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me.... back into the paddle....HARD!"

        * Age play really is 24/7.

INTERMISSION:  come back to mummification demonstration in the dungeon

ATTACHED ARTICLES:

on floating in sensory deprivation tank:

It's about eight feet long by maybe three 1/2 feet high by three 1/2 feet wide.

The water in the tank isn't very deep, but since there are 800 lbs of salt dissolved in it, your body floats on top of the surface. It is heated to 93.4 degrees, and so is the air inside the tank. The tank is lined with a plastic liner, and is completely sealed to light.

The place we went to was called "Austin Floats".  It is run out of the home of a woman named Susan, and her husband Stephen. I thought this was a little strange, but once I saw their gorgeous Austin home, and the special small wing they had built just for the tank and shower, I was put at ease.

Susan explained the procedure, which can be summarized "shower, float, I will tap on the side of the tank when your time is up, don't get any water in your eyes because it burns like Hell, shower".

I took my shower, and climbed into the tank. I don't have much experience with meditation or any other alternative psychology, so I was a little freaked out at first. Would I be able to quiet my mind, or would I be lying in this tank for an eternity, with thoughts running around in my head, making me crazy?

The pitch black didn't bother me, and because it was so warm in there, my body became relaxed immediately. I was wearing earplugs, there was no light in the tank, and I couldn't tell what part of the tank was water, and what part was air, since they were both the same temperature. It felt like I was floating in space. My heart was thumping in my ears, and my breathing seemed to be really loud.

There was no way to mark the passage of time. I had no idea when Susan would come and tap on the tank to let me know when my hour was up. An hour doesn't seem like a very long time, but when you are floating in the dark with nothing but your thoughts, it can seem like, well, not an eternity, because there simply was no time at all.

I went through periods of mental clarity, followed by periods of "noise". At times it seemed like torture, and at other times very enjoyable. Toward the end, I held my hands up in front of my face and noticed that I could see them! They were dimly glowing blue! I looked down, and the rest of my body was glowing as well. Later, I found out that this is experienced by a small percentage of sensory deprivation participants. I think it happens because your mind creates a hologram where it thinks your body ought to be, and you can only see this when your eyes have been extremely sensitized. I was surprised and entertained by this, and was very disappointed when I heard the "thunderous" rapping on the side of the tank.

Afterwards, I didn't want to talk for a long time. I was almost in a trance. I sat speechless on Susan's couch, drinking a glass of iced tea and watching their dogs play in their backyard. I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper, and all of my senses were heightened. I still feel different today.

Possible problems

Hearing loss - can't hear bangs crashes, if the Dom has fallen over and unconscious, if the kids are home early, phobia onset of being deaf

sight - can't see obstacles, balance affected, claustrophobia, NyctophobiaSymptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread, inability to speak or think clearly or sensation of detachment from reality.# the anxiety may be expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, or clinging.

Tactile - can't feel heat/cold as readily, can't support the body if falling, claustrophobia, tension/frustration, circulation, overheating, dehydration.

Mummification: Although many people would regard these experiences as claustrophobic, some people put their fantasies into practice, sometimes combining them with bondage to intensify feelings of helplessness. As with all activities involving bondage or potential risk to breathing, this is a risky activity. Clearly, maintaining an airway, preventing postural asphyxia, and ensuring that the enclosed person has a means of escape at all times are of paramount importance, if these activities are not to result in death.

Duct tape is convenient in some circumstances and is readily available in black or silver. However, be careful about applying it to bare skin: ripping it off will remove hairs and possibly even skin and can be painful, and irritation may result from contact with the adhesive. Go easy, or apply it over a barrier material such as vet wrap or pallet wrap.

Speech - vomiting, nosebleeds, can't respond or alert top, dehydration

Breathing tube

Short rubber hose used for breathing with gasmasks and vacuum beds. A breathing tube can also be used for liquid intake play for long term enclosure.

Be sure tubing is secures/short enough that a fall will not close of tubing or push it down the throat....MUST BE RETRIEVABLE

WILL NEED: mittens, hood, earphones, pallet roll ends, makeup pads piss gags, tubing, rubber hoods, pillow cases, and EMT scissors

Resource List Workshop 3 Sensory Deprivation

Websites:

On Sensory Deprivation:

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html

http://www.medicaltoys.com/lib-mummification.htm

http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/cuffadvice

http://bondage.com/id/13/which/373/show_column.html

http://www.cleansheets.com/archive/archarticles/howto_09.20.00.shtml

http://www.lustlovelatex.com/articles/latex-fetish-dictionary.htm

http://blood-dance.net/bdsm/iron.html

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/encyclopervia/Sensory_deprivation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mummification_(BDSM)

on aromatherapy:

http://holisticonline.com/Aromatherapy/aroma_relaxation.htm

http://www.myoils.com/default.asp?tabID=3&cid=0&oid=&oseq=&tquan=0&activate_tab=tab3

on related phobias:

http://www.deafnessresearch.org.uk/hyperacusis+page1630.html

on flotation tanks:

http://www.inthemix.com.au/forum/showthread.php?t=89073

on rubber bondage:

http://www.lustlovelatex.com/articles/bondage-mummification.htm

on body bags & strait jackets:

http://www.maxcita.com/pcatrooms.htm

on breath control play:

http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/breathplay/enter.html, http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/breathplay/new.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clingfilm

noise colours:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colours_of_noise

Noise generation:

http://www.eebee.net/sound/sound.html, http://www.esseraudiosolutions.com/ttg.htm

Magazine Articles:

Kraft, Michael.  "Cage Play" The SandMUtopian Guardian #21 1996 (p25-27)

Wiseman, Jay.  "Sensory Deprivation"Hustler's TABOO Vol 1 No. 5 Nov. 1998 (p20-22)

Books: 

Midori.  "The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage" Greenery Press, United States of America. 2001

Miller, P. & Devon, M. "Screw the Roses, Send Me thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998

Rinella, J. "The Master's Manual" Daedalus Publishing Company. Los Angeles. 1994

Wiseman, Jay.  "Erotic Bondage Handbook" Greenery Press.

Wiseman, Jay. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

All information about the Causes of Specific Phobia comes from the textbook (2006,) Essentials of Abnormal Psychology:Fourth Edition

INTRODUCTION TO BONDAGE a workshop by Miss Red

bond·age

noun.

1. The state of one who is bound as a slave or serf.

2. A state of subjection to a force, power, or influence.

3. The practice of being physically restrained, as with cords or handcuffs, as a means of attaining sexual gratification.

4. Villeinage.

•     Bondage in BDSM is the practice of tying people up for sexual pleasure.
•     Self bondage in BDSM is the practice of tying oneself up for sexual pleasure.
•     A bondmaid is a woman servant.
•     A bondman is a male servant.

bondage

 1:   the state of being under the control of another person [synonyms: slavery, thrall, thralldom]

 2:   sexual practice that involves physically restraining (by cords or handcuffs) one of the partners

Bondage in Scenes

Bondage is a vast topic: there are an infinite number of ways of restraining someone and a myriad of reasons why people might need or want to be restrained. Deciding what sort of bondage is appropriate for a particular scene requires careful consideration and discussion. Thankfully, without losing sight of anyone's individuality, we can distinguish at least three basic factors involved in determining the sort of bondage you might use. As with most such distinctions in SM, most players fall somewhere between the two poles, with their interests varying from scene to scene.

Firstly there is the question of how much the bondage is for its own sake, and how much it is a means to an end. Some people are satisfied just with the sense of restriction bondage gives; their thrills may be intensified with more and more elaborate bondage, or by spending lengthy amounts of time immobilised. Or they may appreciate bondage aesthetically, and constantly seek out new techniques they find pleasing.

In many cases, however, bondage is used as a means to achieving something else. Bondage is often used in SM games where pain or intense physical stimulation is involved, where keeping the bottom still may be important both for the convenience of the top and in some cases for safety reasons too. Of course it's not universally required: some bottoms in some situations have the self-control to keep themselves still without bondage, but it's so common that bondage and SM are often conflated together.

As well as immobilising the bottom, bondage can also help get them into the right 'headspace' and help them concentrate on dealing with what is happening. Once again this is not universal: some bottoms may feel more uncomfortable in bondage and take more without it, and some will only trust themselves to be tied up by a top they know well.

With bondage as an end in itself, the equipment and techniques used will depend entirely on the preferences of the partners. With 'means-to-an-end' bondage, the end or ends will affect the bondage: for example, it's no good putting someone in a heavy strait jacket if you intend to torture their nipples once they're tied up.

A second distinction to bear in mind is between symbolic and practical bondage. On some occassions it may be important that the bondage is genuinely physically inescapable: this is usually the case for those who appreciate bondage for its own sake, and often the case for people who genuinely want to feel that they cannot avoid whatever else is going on. On other occassions, when the impact of the bondage is largely psychological, it may not have to be so sturdy. For example some bottoms may find wrist restraints clipped together with spring clips powerful enough symbolically, even though they could if they choose escape from them; others might need the physical reality of a padlock for which the top has the key.

In certain cases it's also vital for safety reasons that the bondage is inescapable: for example when the bondage is supporting the bottom in a position that it would be dangerous to lose.

A third distinction is between comfortable and painful bondage. If the bondage is a means to an end, the usual technique is to make it relatively comfortable for the duration of the scene, which will in turn depend on how long a scene is due to last. That way, the bottom can forget about the bondage and concentrate instead on the other sensations he or she is undergoing.

Comfort is a relative term, and sometimes a little discomfort from the bondage is part of the thrill in addition to whatever else is going on. However there are different sorts of discomfort. A bit of stiffness in the muscles may not cause a problem for some people, but a chafing wrist restraint or an unintentionally pinched piece of skin may be another thing entirely!

At the other extreme, there are techniques for using bondage to restrict and cramp the body in such a way that the bondage itself is the main source of discomfort or pain (see Painful Bondage below).

It's important to be clear about these different needs and expectations. There are serious incompatibility problems when one partner is expecting just bondage and the other wants to play other games too. And a bottom who is used to being simply wrist-cuffed during scenes may freak to find themselves immobilised completely in an elaborate rope harness.

Why bondage?

People who find it erotic to be tied up find it so for a variety of reasons:

    * The most frequently cited reason is a mental freedom from inhibitions and responsibility since they have, in a way, given up control of the sexual situation to follow. This is sometimes referred to as a "power exchange."

    * Some like the tactile feeling of restraint, that is, the feeling of pressure or pulling.

    * Some enjoy the feeling of helplessness for its own sake. Some like to struggle aggressively against their bonds, particularly when being sexually or otherwise stimulated. There are some in this category who play bondage games that do not include a significant sexual component.

    * To intensify the experience of orgasm control or of orgasm denial.

    * Some derive pleasure from symbolic degradation (less common). People who enjoy role playing prison or mental hospital situations probably fit best in this category.

    * Fetishistic interest in the mechanics of bondage, with particular interest in the equipment and restraints used. Some of these people are interested in the look, feel, and aroma of leather and rubber restraints. Others are fascinated by the relationship between the geometry of the tie, the degrees of freedom remaining and the feelings elicited.

    * As an adjunct to other BDSM activities

    * Like hang gliding or mountaineering, some feel that bondage allows them to do something potentially dangerous in a safe way.

    * In the wide range of human sexual experience, there are probably a few others.

People who enjoy tying other people up are motivated by a variety of reasons, including:

    * Taking pleasure in the erotic submission of their partner

    * The feeling of trust which comes from another person placing their physical freedom in their hands

    * Wishing to please their partner, and the stimulation engendered by their partner's pleasure in it

    * Fetishistic interest in the elegance of bondage, with particular interest in the geometric patterns and symmetry (or artistic asymmetry) of the restraint

    * Using bondage as an adjunct to other BDSM activities

    * Enjoyment of the power and control one has over a restrained partner; people for whom this is a principal motivation may have trouble making it much fun for the other person.

Safety precautions include:

    * The use of a "safeword", or some clear way for the subject to indicate genuine distress and a wish to abort.

    * Never leaving a bound person alone.

    * Never tying anything around the neck.

    * Avoiding positions or restraints which may induce postural asphyxia.

    * Making sure that the subject changes positions at least once an hour (to avoid circulation problems).

    * Making sure that the subject can be released quickly in an emergency.

    * Avoiding restraints which impair breathing. (Gags or hoods which block the mouth can become asphyxiative hazards if the subject vomits or the nose becomes otherwise blocked.)

Some simple preparations may also be helpful:

    * Food. It is surprisingly common for people (especially those on diets) to faint during a long session. Having a regular meal beforehand is recommended; being fed small snacks during play may also help avoid fainting.

    * Cutting tools. A pair of EMT scissors-useful for safely cutting rope and tape off skin-is recommended.

    * Keyed-alike padlocks, if chains are being used.

General Hints

The following hints about involving bondage successfully in a scene are arguably good advice in all scenes, irrespective of the actual bondage involved. These points are in addition to the usual safety concerns.

For tops:

    * Be competent, confident and decisive about what you are doing. Be familiar with your tools and technique. Of course there will be occassions when you are using something for the first time on someone else but try to keep the number of new things you introduce to a minimum and do as much as you can to familiarise yourself with the technique or item first. Fumbling too much with bondage is boring and isn't going to inspire confidence in you.

    * Be aware of what you want to achieve and avoid unintended effects. Make sure things aren't pinching where they're not supposed to, for example.

    * Think about what you are doing in the context of the whole scene. If the kind of bondage you use prevents a certain activity you may want to engage in later on, you'll either have to avoid that activity or interrupt the scene to remove or modify the bondage.

    * Use only as much bondage as is necessary in the particular scene. Don't waste time and energy doing things that aren't appreciated.

    * Make sure you know how to remove the bondage before you put it on. This isn't only important for safety but also helps the smooth running of the scene.

    * Make sure the bondage is strong and secure enough for the job in hand, even if safety doesn't depend on it -- bondage breaking or coming undone in the middle of a scene is one of the most irritating distractions in SM!

And for bottoms...

    * Be especially clear about the kind of bondage you want and expect, and honest about how much you struggle and attempt to escape and how much you want that to be prevented.

    * Remember it's not always easy for tops to know how the bondage feels, and don't be afraid to alert them to potential problems, such as pinched skin or unexpected discomfort, as soon as you notice them: if that chafing buckle is irritating you now, don't kid yourself it will get better, because the opposite is more likely to be true, and interrupting the scene at a later stage will be much more frustrating for both of you.

BONDAGE WORKSHOP 2 RESOURCE LIST

Articles:

Reite, Bob.  "Bed Bondage: Immobilisation, The Next Generation"  Checkmate #18 1997 (p10-11)

Selene, Adam.  "Make these cargo sling cuffs"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #22 1996 (p22-23)

Danny.  "The Worlds Best Suspension cuffs"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #22 1996 (p36)

Spectrum.  "Suspension in a Drawer"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #28 1996 (p30)

Filador.  "Iam a Rock"  SandMUtopian Guardian #30 1998(p.38-41)

Noreen & Robert.  "Bed Bondage on a Budget"  SandMUtopian Guardian #30 1998(p.48-49)

 Kessler, Mitch.  "The Spreader"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #32 1998 (p26-27)

 DeBlase, Tony.  "Male Genitorture"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #33 1999 (p.6-10)

 Kenneth.  "Chop sticks C&B"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #33 1999 (p.11)

 Kessler, Mitch.  "The Ultimate Spreader Bar"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #33 1999 (p.26-27)

 Kessler, Mitch.  "The Steel Cockring: Getting it on"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #34 1999 (p28-29)

 C, Eric.  "Caning Platform: How to secure a sub for caning"  The SandMUtopian Guardian #34 1999 (p30-31)

Books:

Daniels, M.  "Woof" Boner book The Nazca Plains Corporation, Las Vegus, 2003

Easton, D. & Liszt C.  "The Bottoming  Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Easton, D. & Liszt C.  "The Topping Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Madonna.  "Sex" Martin Secker & Warburg.

Midori.  "The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage" Greenery Press, United States of America. 2001

Miller, P. & Devon, M.  "Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998

Wiseman, J.  "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Wiseman, Jay.  "Erotic Bondage Handbook" Greenery Press.

Magazines:

"For the Connoisseur of Humiliation" Boob and Body Bondage Vol.1 #3

"For Those Who like to stay home" Chair Bondage Vol.1 #3

Masglow, Meline. "Leashed, Led and Lashed"  Bound to Please Vol.5  #7

 Karlson, Greta. Renee, Ashley.

"Tight Ropes" Vol.2 #11 Hom Inc. California, 1994

 Halloran, Karlson, Lea, Liberty, Sacha, Sunn, Taine & West. "Ties that Bind" Hom Inc. California. 1994

Web Pages:

http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Bondage+%28BDSM%29

http://www.autoerotic-asphyxiation.com/

http://www.bedroombondage.com/bondageu/glossary/bondagepositions.html

http://www.bedroombondage.com/bondageu/glossary/bondageactivities.html

http://public.diversity.org.uk/deviant/fsbdgprc.htm

http://public.diversity.org.uk/deviant/fsbdgprc.htm#Safety

http://www.earlham.edu/~peters/knotlink.htm

http://www.bedroombondage.com/links/cgi/category.cgi?category=/bdsm-fetish-community-resources&start=0

http://xxxtokens.net/boundreams/home.htm

http://www.tiedgirls.com/?linkid=542YSN

http://www.shibarilover.com/home.htm

http://rainbowrope.com/thanx.html

http://www.thebrc.net/articles/JamesBryant/bondage_jb.shtml

"Safe, Sane, and Consentual" - AN INTRODUCTION TO NEGOTIATION AND TROUBLESHOOTING WORKSHOP by Miss Red

HARD LIMITS AND SOFT LIMITS

Hard limits describe the boundaries of what we are currently willing/able to do, both physically and mentally.  Limits define our 'unconsentual areas' and 'no-go zones'.  Unlike speed limits, BDSM limits are not to be met, and definately not passed.

Soft Limits include minimum boundaries.  For example, the bottom that loves a good strong flogging, falls asleep if their flogging is a mild one...the bottom may feel boredom, frustration, resentment and even anger...these feelings can go even further into mistrust of the Top - not a good thing for headspace.  Limits are areas NOT to be pushed or played with, without serious prior negotiation.

Limits Incorporate:

1                     Physical Barriers - health issues, e.g.; disability, pregnancy

2                     Psychological Barriers -personal history, phobias and turn-offs

3                     Cultural Barriers - family structures, legal institutions

4                     Ethnic Barriers - personal taboos, imprinting and brainwashing

5                     Spacial Barriers - the dreaded Public Limits

SEE PRESCENE NEGOTIATION SCANS, 1 & 2 FROM SCREW THE ROSES, SEND ME THE THORNS

Red's personal negotiation forms:  Application 1, and Negotiation form 1.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Application 1.  Answer the following questions TRUTHFULLY and to the best of your ability.  THINK CAREFULLY and return asap.

Before W/we get onto and into the questions, I'd best tell you what I am roughly looking for in a slave.  See if you feel these qualities may pertain to yourself, or if they are areas you may wish to explore further.... If it does not sound like 'you' then please disregard this whole letter.  There will be NO further correspondence, and the best of luck to you in your 'ideal Dom' search...

My submissive MUST BE:

1                     Intelligent OR keen to learn and willing to be a student in training.......

2                     A GOOD COMMUNICATOR of feelings and thoughts both exciting and solemn ... or again ... wanting to be taught how to better communicate with others......

3                     Open-minded and wanting to explore different/new avenues as they may arise (within limits of course ....)

4                     Not afraid to ask for help under ANY circumstances or in ANY instance....

5                     Totally self-less ... and caring of others over themselves ... THIS impresses me unfailingly....

6                     Committed to Personal Service ...

7                     Understanding of the strength of the Family Unit and prepared to live, promote and protect any aspects that strengthen us as such....

8                     Willing to live BDSM as a lifestyle ... an alternate normality ... dress as we feel ALWAYS and EVER.... live as we feel..... play as we want.

9                     Trustworthy. HONEST, righteous and gently ... al the virtues they will receive in return; TOLERANT, patient (I know how difficult these truly are!) and non-violent to others.

10                 STD - FREE (sorry people) and have a CLEAR POLICE RECORD ... mind you, smoking pot at a political protest never hurt anyone ... within recreational reason ok.

11                 NON - RACIST.... unless of course areeing with me ... bwahaha (evil laugh) only muckin' around....

12                 HAVE A BLOODY SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!! PLEASE!!!!  The blacker the better!

13                 Wanting and needing STRICT and precise instruction ...

14                 FRIENDLY and have a love for animals and plants (or at the very LEAST not opposed to ...)

1.         Do you have any prior BDSM experience (if no, go to q.2)? If yes, explain type of    relationship (f/bi/submissive, M/hetero/Dom etc) and experiences        liked/disliked/abhorred...and why?

2.         Are you ready for a long-term relationship? Why do you deserve one and what do you        believe you can do/are willing to do to maintain one?

3.         I want you to write in detail your most submissive fantasy...explored or not...uttered or        kept locked away (preferably the latter) and how it makes you feel...anything you want to add to it?

4.         What are your two favourite movies and why?

5.         What are your two favourite colours and why?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

RED'S NEGOTIATION FORM 1

People (reviewed without prejudice)

1) Name                                                            2) Age

3) Preferred/other names Name/s:                       4) Sexuality (bi, hetero, gay):

Health (reviewed without prejudice)

1) Please circle and state your past, and present uses of the following intoxicants:

Alcohol  caffeine  cigarettes  speed  marijuana  ecstasy  amyl nitrate  heroin  cocaine or ANY         other drug which may fall into this category.

2) Are you currently taking any prescription medicine or pharmaceutical drugs (e.g. aspirin, ibuprofen, anti-histamines, anti-inflammatory, Ventolin etc)?

3) List all details of any surgery, and any surgical implants (e.g. breasts, steel rods and plates)?

4) Any history of (circle and explain):

seizures   diabetes  fainting  dizzy spells   high or low blood pressure   asthma  hyperventilation attacks

   panic attacks  carpal problems  back problems  ankle problems  feet problems  headaches  fevers 

heart problems  bones  joints  livers  kidneys  eyesight  lung/respiratory ailments  nervous system/mental         Other__________________________________________

Limits

1) Will the submissive suffer (stipulate areas acceptable):

   humiliation  spanking  menstruation  whipping  flagellation  pinching  slapping  clamping  pegging  water sports

   buggery  flicking  strap/belt  kicking  punching  kneeing  elbowing  cropping  caning   knife/blade play   biting 

   textile/abrasion play  asphyxiation  paddling  bloodsports  electricity  piercing  spitting  douching  shaving  waxing        wax play     metal cuffs       immobilisation      encagement       masturbation games  forced-exhibitionism        enemas        cuttings       Other ____________

2) Has/will the submissive be/en tied to:

   Bed  chair  stool  table  lounge    post or pole    Cross (standing)    rafters (suspension)

3) Other forms of bondage the submissive will suffer:

4) List any sufferings the submissive will NOT endure:

_____________________________________________________________________________

TOP LIMITS

1                     Tops have equal responsibility with bottoms to KNOW THEIR LIMITS

2                     Tops are recommended to write their own list of BDSM activities and label each with yes, no, or maybe.  Alternatively, fill out the same pre negotiation forms from such sources as: Miller, P. & Devon, M. "Screw the Roses, Send Me thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998, but from a Top perspective...i.e.: what you are willing to do to another person.

3                     Yes' - are things that you enjoy - you will see a lot of hot favourites marked 'yes'

4                     Maybes - are some areas that deserve further exploration - you are sure to find some good stuff and some things you will decide aren't quite what you figured!!!

5                     NO = NO - RESPECT YOUR OWN LIMITS AS YOU WOULD RESPECT YOUR PARTNERS - do not be coerced into trying something you are not ready for!!!

6                     It's the Tops responsibility to know their abilities, strengths and weaknesses.

7                     Trust issues arise from ignorant Tops!!!  Unknown areas of expertise = HIGH RISK in BDSM

BOTTOM LIMITS

1                     BOTTOMS - There is NO SUCH THING as NO LIMITS

2                     Bottoms are also recommended to fill in a list of 'yes', 'no', or 'maybes'.

3                     State limits clearly BEFORE play commences (out of role)

Negotiations requiring special consent include:

*           SAFEWORDS

*           MARKS

*           PAIN

*           HIGH-RISK PLAY

*           PHOBIAS AND TURN-OFFS

*           EMOTIONAL LIMITS

*           SPACIAL LIMITS

*           SEX/UAL ACTS

SAFEWORDS

Safewords are words used during a scene to let the Top know how the bottom is feeling DESPITE external reactions.

GREEN -           means proceed until further notice.  E.g.:  The bottom is screaming: when asked how they are doing, the bottom replies 'green' = the screaming is an                                acceptable reaction

AMBER -           means STOP and CHECK, or back off a little until further notice

RED -                means STOP IMMEDIATELY, I want the scene to END, TOTALLY, NO further notice required other than loudly declaring 'RED'

1                     Agree on safewords BEFORE the scene starts, and keep them simple, for example, the bottom may feel it's easier for them to remember a safeword that is a little more personal, like the Tops name, instead of 'Red'.

MARKS AND PAIN

2                     If you have never been physically marked before, or received erotic pain, or mark easily, TELL YOUR TOP

3                     If you are unsure about your pain threshold, or you dislike pain - COMMUNICATE THIS -

                        *How hard can the top hit?         

                        *Where abouts can the top hit?              

                        *Which tools are acceptable to be used???

1                     If you are a novice submissive, tell your Top so, ask for your pain threshold to be gently tested

2                     Tops, treat new subs with care, using suitable toys for light play.  Begin with spanking before paddles, crops or canes.  Take the submissive slightly SHORT of what they may seem able to take THEIR RUSHING ENDORPHINS MAY BE CONFUSING WHAT THEY CAN PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HANDLE.  Give the bottoms, the option of asking for more.

3                     Think hard about pain, and how you are   IMMEDIATELY FEELING, NOT how you have felt before, or what you 'usually' feel like.

4                     If how you feel changes mid scene, AMBER, and politely let your Top know - "If it pleases Master, may we use the suede flogger instead of the rawhide flogger" or simply SHOW the Top how you feel by moving your body AWAY from the floggers strokes.

5                     Are you ABLE to be marked?  Do you have to wear street clothes or a suit at work?  Are there ONLY specific areas where you can be marked?

6                     Healing duration - "I have a pool party tomorrow", "Mum and Dad are staying", "Kids are at home for the school holidays" etc

THESE ARE ALL IMPORTANT FACTORS!!!  SEX - what is acceptable? IS IT acceptable, what acts are acceptable, by whom?

HIGH-RISK PLAY- REAL WORLD DANGER

High-Risk Play is classified as ANY activity with higher risk of injury or death - breath control, electricity, bondage, sharps, suspension, high impact SM, vehicles, machinery, tall buildings, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL - altered states

PHOBIAS AND TURN-OFFS

Psychological Barriers, fears, images, flashbacks, life associations, or life paralleling ALL EFFECT HEADSPACE AND THEREFORE PLAY.  Themes such as - slavery, torture, rape, child abuse, prostitution, Nazi Germany, Patriarch, Paternal and Maternal themes and various other personal taboos.  Shit, piss, blood, needles, knives, electricity...ALL FEAR IS TO BE PLAYED WITH CONSENTUALLY.

1                     Landmines - LOOKOUT!!!  Forgotten fears, or hidden traumatic experiences may surface mid-scene!!! 

2                     SUPPORT YOUR PLAY-PARTNER to seek counseling if you find something big...despite popular belief, Top are NOT (with exception) qualified counselors, we are CARERS.

3                     Tops, it is your responsibility to care for your subs physical AND psychological wellbeing.  DO NOT PROBE new-found limits until your sub is ready to, and has full support to deal with any negative outcomes.

4                     A smell, a song, a name, or even a place, may psychologically disturb your submissive due to PAST association.   Explore these edges with extreme caution and TOTAL CONSENT.

EMOTIONAL LIMITS

BDSM, unlike last century's teachings, allow us to express emotions with new freedom.  It is the duty and RIGHT of each of us to express our needs and wants.  It is NOT anyone else’s responsibility.  BDSM allows us to kick, scream, yell, curse, cry, beg, and be aggressive or passive. You may encounter scenes with:

1                     regression to child/baby states of mind...viewer be wary of, or enjoy hidden memories and flashbacks that may occur when watching such scenes

2                     extreme humiliation and debasement, which walks a fine line with verbal abuse, again, viewer beware and enjoy

3                     Aggression, struggle and abandonment , which may stir fear, anger and feminist/masculine issues...AGAIN viewer be wary of, or enjoy the hidden memories and flashbacks

NEVER TAKE REAL-LIFE ANGER, FEAR OR NEGATIVE FEELING INTO A SCENE.  Discuss ANY and ALL negative thoughts you have and WHY to your Top.  Have a cooling-off period if you are angry for any reason.  It is important to do this in a NON-BLAMING MANNER.  Just as it is our right to ask for what we want, it is our responsibility to discuss our thoughts in a NON-BLAMING MANNER.

SPACIAL LIMITS

Spacial limits are NOT how much room you need to swing a cat!!! It basically involves HAVING OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR SPACE, both consentually and not. 

CONSENTUALITY

1                     Are other Tops/subs allowed in the scene

2                     to what extent may they participate

3                     OR, underneath which prerequisites may others participate

4                     who may NOT participate

UNCONSENTUALITY - THE VANILLA PUBLIC

1                     Public play -is it OK for the neighbour to see you in a compromising position???

2                     Family decides to stop in unexpectedly??? 

3                     You get tied to the garage doors, the public in plain sight of your near/naked body???  To a light pole??? 

4                     WHO WILL BE SEEING YOUR MARKS?

SEX/UAL ACTS

Is sex or penetration to be an aspect of play???  Is penetration permissible??? And with what tools? Is oral sex to be involved? And by which parties is this permissible?  Are these answers only offered by explicit permission , or has the individual negotiated free choice of play partners?

For example:  In a Daddy/girl relationship, how is sex/penetration to be included in play without a incestual feeling pervading the scene???  Or in a polygamous relationship, who is allowed to be penetrated, and with what parameters? 

Many a good relationship has been limited by not negotiating ACCURATELY, or by parameters being surpassed without explicit permission.

When trust is damaged or lost between partners , it takes a lot of making up for, and often the prior levels of trust are never reached again...leading to less intense scenes, shallower subspace, or even cessation of such activities until a new negotiation can be reached...VERY IMPORTANT TO CONSIDER!

Makes you think, huh???  I hope so!

COMMON DISASTERS THAT LEAD TO DISAPPOINTING SCENES

1.         Playing with strangers, especially someone 'not in the scene'.

2.         Playing with someone towards who you feel anger, fear or other negative emotions.

3.         Playing without safewords, even if experienced.

4.         Playing for reasons other than erotic pleasure or personal growth (e.g. from a sense of anger or revenge, or as a substitute for therapy)

5.         Playing while ill, intoxicated or tired.

6.         Negotiating inadequately before you begin

7.         Leaving a bound submissive alone.

8.         Blindfolding and/or gagging a submissive you have not played with several times previously

9.         Disregarding safewords, or implying, even jokingly, that you might disregard them.

10.        Using worn out equipment

11.        Engaging in unfamiliar activities without adequate prior education.

12.        Escalating the sessions intensity to quickly.

13.        Playing with someone other than your steady partner without a silent alarm in operation.

14.        Administering unrelenting, increasing pain to a submissive not ready for that.

15.        Physical resistance during SM play, unless very carefully negotiated beforehand.

Wiseman, J. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996 pp: 312-313

16.       Surpassing limits and ignoring prior negotiation points.

THE DISAPPOINTING SCENE

1                     Even the best-planned scenes can stuff-up, subs and Tops may feel the scene is ruined by one flaw.  The best response id to discuss what went wrong for you/them, and why you/they thought so.

2                     Reactions may range from depression to rejection to blame, and then resentment.

3                     Post-sub anxiety, and "Top Drop' shows its head in these forms after a scene, often even after successful scenes.  This can last a few hours or a few days!  This is usually guilt surrounding the breaking of taboos, manhood, womanhood, etc - during a scene it's simple to drown out this guilt, but invariably it will surface the next day, THIS IS NATURAL.

4                     Beware of submissive 'reassertion', Tops, do not allow this.  If the submissive begins a pattern of non-consentual assertion, stop play, and see someone about Power Exchange Anxiety.  

5                     Just as a Top may be full of apologies for some part of play the submissive actually enjoyed, and WANTED the Top to do.  Subs, reassure your Top that it is what you wanted/enjoyed and that you may/will possibly want them to do the same thing in the future, and to stop fussing!!!  Top drop includes feelings of failure and uselessness, often resulting in feeling totally responsible for a disappointing scene.  It often follows the scene directly and results in a drained or depressed feeling due to having broken taboos.

This 'morning-after-syndrome' occurs:

1.         After a good scene where nothing went wrong, but we feel uneasy.

2.         After a scene where injury or accident occurred

3.         After a genuine rape or assault took place and was not recognised until too late

4.         Edgy scenes, we just cannot classify to ourselves

Such examples can leave us wondering if we can TRUST OURSELVES, questioning our own judgment.  To restore confidence:

1                     Talk things over with Tops and subs in a NON-BLAMING MANNER.

2                     Research for better understanding - BDSM Manuals, Other Tops and bottoms, therapists.

3                     Attend classes, enter internet discussions.  The better informed you are about options and safety, the better your ability to judge risk.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS 

CONTACT SAFETY

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW THIS PERSON?

Can this person give you any kind of reference - what munches and clubs are they known at?
Have any of your friends or fellow pervs heard of them?

 Are they known by people at the places they say they are known at?

Ask around. People will understand and gladly help you.

Get their home phone number and address, real name, email, and car registration. If they won't even give you their phone number, SERIOUSLY DON'T MEET THEM!

Meet in a public place, like a munch, a cafe, or restaurant and steer away from pubs and alcohol; getting tipsy will cloud your judgment.

Take care of what you drink! If you have read the paper or seen the news you will know about drinks being spiked!

Introduce them to others with more experience or for an unbiased opinion.

BE SAFE, PLAY SAFE

"Safe, Sane and Consentual"

NEGOTIATION AND TROUBLESHOOTING WORKSHOP 1 RESOURCE LIST

Relationships/Roles:

Kraft, M. "Kids in the house?" The SandMUtopian Guardian #22 1996 (p8-9)

Hughes, J "An SM Wedding" The SandMUtopian Guardian #21 1996 (p21)

Antoniou, L "To Serve in Close Attendance to Nobility: Samurai Tradition in an Sm Context" The SandMUtopian Guardian #21 1996 (22-24, 46-48)

Tan, C. "Full-time and Long-term 24/7 Relationships for the 90's" The SandMUtopian Guardian #22 1996 (p10-12)

Antoniou, L. & Taylor,K. "Finding A Houseboy" The SandMUtopian Guardian #30 1998 (p.24-27)

Baby Daren "Baby, Look at You Now" The SandMUtopian Guardian #30 1998 (p.30-31)

Madam Kitt "Slavery in the Scene: an African-American Perspective" The SandMUtopian Guardian #33 1999 (p18-19)

Rev. Storm Weaver, N.D., D.E.M."Ladies in Waiting: Pregnancy and BDSM" The SandMUtopian Guardian #34 1999 (p20-23)

Dominant Info:

Kay, T. "Rules of the Game" The SandMUtopian Guardian #22 1996 (p50)

Dubois, C & Bianchi, E. "The Joys and Challenges of Topping" The SandMUtopian Guardian #32 1998 (p.28-31, 46-47)

http://www.fhp-inc.com/writings/essential_domme.html

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Topping Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Abernathy, C. "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Mistress Lorelei "The Mistress Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 2000

Wiseman, J. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Switch info:

Vakesh, S."Why I Switch" The SandMUtopian Guardian #30 1998(p.66-65)

Tan, C. "The Sound Of Two Hands Clapping" The SandMUtopian Guardian #33 1999 (p.28-31)

Submissive Info:

http://www.sensuoussadie.com/sadiescolumns/spirituality/feministsubmissive.htm

Daniels, M. "Woof" Boner book The Nazca Plains Corporation, Las Vegus, 2003

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Bottoming  Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Miller, P. & Devon, M. "Screw the Roses, Send Me thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998

Training Info:

Miss Nikki "Brat Submissives - What, When, Why?" The SandMUtopian Guardian #32 1998 (p14-16)

Rinella, J. "The Master's Manual" Daedalus Publishing Company. Los Angeles. 1994

Mistress Lorelei "The Mistress Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 2000

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Topping Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Abernathy, C. "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Party Info:

Miss Kitt "Listening in the Dark Choosing music for the BDSM party" The SandMUtopian Guardian #30 1998 (p.28-29)

Vanilla/Coming Out Issues

Carolyn and Steve S. "Removing the Gag: coming out BDSM in to the vanilla world" The SandMUtopian Guardian #21 1996 (p11-15,37)

Keelen, C. "Outing Myself" The SandMUtopian Guardian #34 1999 (p1719)

Masterson, M. "Safety in sex activities" OUT #156 april/may2001 (p38-40)

Aftercare

http://www.fhp-inc.com/writings/aftercare.html

Resources that Cover ALL of the Above, and More:

http://unrealities.com/adult/ssbb/faq.htm

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Topping Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Abernathy, C. "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Mistress Lorelei "The Mistress Manual" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 2000

Daniels, M. "Woof" Boner book The Nazca Plains Corporation, Las Vegus, 2003

Easton, D. & Liszt C. "The Bottoming  Book" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1995

Wiseman, J. "SM101" Greenery Press. San Francisco. 1996

Rinella, J. "The Master's Manual" Daedalus Publishing Company. Los Angeles. 1994

Miller, P. & Devon, M. "Screw the Roses, Send Me thorns" Mistic Rose Books. Connecticut. 1998