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Friends:
LadyConstanzeLadyPactCynthiaWVirginiaFieryOpalCelticLady916
The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you.
I'm trainable in most endeavors you find interesting because I find many things interesting...

I'm not looking for anything. I'm not searching. I'm not promising anything. So much depends on circumstances, chemistry, proximity, compatibility, etc.

If it happens, it happens ... I'll just wait and see if I pique your interest ... I'm mostly here for the forum discussions, and, even there, I mainly seek to have my mind expanded, not my penis.

In fact, as truth is the daughter of reflection, I only recently realized, based on what I have learned in the forum discussions, that the most effective dominant has the mental power to change my mind.

That's a powerful dominance over me! I accept that dominance. I relish it, in fact. I don't seek physical power over me. My brain is wired to accept the insanely sensual combination of mental acuity in a feminine form. Worship is my response to innate intelligence and femininity.

While this search is about you, this profile is supposed to be about me, so, I note that I am considered well educated, well traveled, well read, and well spoken, and I have a huge variety of interests, and always adding more.
I love learning the various and sundry intricacies of almost anything, from geology to astronomy to hiking to engineering to landscaping to politics to literature to the peculiarities of the English language to computers to comedy to home repair to mathematics, (...) even down to the proper way to brew tea.

I'm trainable in all endeavors I find interesting.

Taking diction as one example, the reason I can write well is simply because I'm trainable. I'm way more trainable than most people are, I think. That means that I take correction rather well. Instead of bristling and putting up barriers, I open up to correction and seek to better understand YOUR needs, your hopes, your desires. Your wants. Your pleasures. Your relaxation. Your happiness.

Given my goal, I try to learn what it is that you like, and what it is that you want. If you like it, it suddenly becomes interesting to me to learn more about it.

You are not seeking a run-of-the-mill servant, and I don't consider myself a mere member of the hoi polloi. No. Instead, you seek what you should seek, which is a remarkable person, who is not only as strong as a man should be, but who is also, as faithful and adoring as a well-trained well-behaved pet should be, and, in the end, as a cherished perfect companion to you.

Meanwhile, a bit about the wiring of my brain ...

To me, service is all about what makes you happy ...
And, what makes me happy, is all about being given the opportunity to be trained, and appreciated (i.e., communication, care, and appreciation).

I am wired to have an inherently compliant desire to please, while, at the same time, I would want to be appreciated for my always positive attitude and my obediently impressionable teachable correctable trainable spirit.
I'm strong, even while I wish to serve. Nobody would mistake me for a weak shouldered man, but you'd never know from how bold I am in my vanilla world that I'm craving, inside, to be someone's beloved pet. As your pet, your property, I never wish to be mistreated, although I do understand I may often need to be curtly trained to learn that which evokes your contentment and bliss (and hence, my rewards).

If/when I make a mistake, no matter how minor, please let me know my error - I actually feel comfortable being corrected - because I unambiguously learn as a direct result, and, as a result of that learning, I provide better service overall - which earns me greater rewards, and we're then both happier and more satisfied.

For more (much more), please inquire within...
Warning: My journal is admittedly long, and, most likely quite repetitive (these feelings are always there, so they don't change over time); yet, still, you may find my journal both informative and focused. If not, please simply skip it, and inquire within, as this isn't about me - it's about you.

I'm not looking for relationship so much as a "sensual friendship" which can then develop into whatever it want to morph into, simply because the phases of life that we're both in have to be aligned too perfectly to presume anything else.
Dommes grow.
Just like everything else in nature.

A Domme today may or may not have started out as Domme yesterday, but She grew with her feminine realizations, like an acorn growing under the protective canopy of society, to initially branch out hesitatingly perhaps, or boldly as the case may be, but to branch out initially in all directions, seeking the path to light.

She followed that pattern seeking Her particular happiness like branches aiming at the sun, sometimes hampered by the societal covering of the trees around Her, until She finally bursts forth, like the lovely matron she is, reigning free over the canopy, to enjoy the sunshine that is what Her natural feminine dominance deserves.
Just curious, given I was both spanked and abused as a child, how many spankees here were spanked as children?

Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life?



See recent 50-year study discussion:
A few people contacting me from afar, so, I offer this perspective, where you're welcome to show me your take on the distance thing, as you see it (so that I learn from you).

While everything depends on everything else, in general I would think you'd want at least weekly use of my services, whatever they might be that would please you.

Since the whole point is for you derive pleasure from the use of me, I can't imagine a one-time-only service or even once a month service being all that useful to you, since the whole point is to customize the service by you and for you for your explicit needs, which takes time to get it all perfectly just the way you like it to be.

I've been told many male subs suddenly become quite manipulative and demanding when they're not clear about what it is they perform and when you subsequently don't provide the topping-from-the-bottom demands they demand of you.

For me, my available services would entail what pleased you, but certainly pleasing you with intimate grooming and massage certainly appeals greatly to me more so than just doing housework, cleaning, and fixing things for you.

.I have studied the anatomy of the lady bits to great detail, where I am absolutely fascinated by every single nook and cranny, so, at the very least, I'd be very fastidious in making sure you're pampered where you may feel you need to be, with everything done to your tastes, without haste or clumsiness, while you relax in a comfortable position for you, without strain or pressure to do anything other than to relax and enjoy the focus on your needs.

When it comes to tea service, dressing service, makeup service, grooming service, manicuring service, bathing and massage services, etc., I envision that I would be in a robe, which stays on, and again, the pleasure for me is in you deriving pleasure from my actions. While your role is wholly up to you, as I see it, your role is to relax and enjoy without the need to respond in any way, and not even to say anything other than to direct things the way you like them to be (which I'm sure, will take practice, where it just gets better each time with the knowledge gleaned from each directive).

In the end, the perfect harmony is where your tailored use of me is such that I instinctively know exactly how you like things done, where you only need to point or command, and then relax, as your wishes become fulfilled, as much as anyone can fulfill them to your explicit tastes and liking.

The pleasure is in the your pleased reaction; and the promise of more to come.

I ran into these two interesting studies today, while doing research on cunnilingus.

MEN:
•  Oral Sex as Mate Retention Behavior, by Michael N. Pham and Todd K. Shackelford  at Oakland University
•  http://www.toddkshackelford.com/downloads/Pham-Shackelford-PAID-2.pdf

Highlights:
• Men perform mate-retention behaviors to reduce the likelihood of their partner’s infidelity.
• One mate retention strategy men use is to increase their partner’s relationship satisfaction by provisioning her with benefits
• Men who reported performing more mate retention behaviors, in general, and more benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors, in particular, also reported greater interest in and spent more time performing oral sex on their partner.
• There my be benefits of an evolutionary perspective for investigating oral sex as a mate retention behavior.

WOMEN:
•  Women’s mate retention behaviors, personality traits, and fellatio by Yael Sela, Todd K. Shackelford, Michael N. Pham, Virgil Zeigler-Hill
• https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886915003232

Highlights:
• Women perform fellatio as part of a Benefit-Provisioning mate retention strategy.
• Women higher in Conscientiousness spend more time performing fellatio.
• Women higher in agreeableness are more interested in performing fellatio.
• Women’s Benefit-Provisioning mediates some of their personality traits and fellatio.

I don't generally get upset when I'm told I'm doing something wrong or that I shouldn't have done something the way I did it. I just seek to be guided as to how to do it right.

It's hard sometimes when the person telling me I'm doing things wrong wants me to figure out what's right on my own - that's the hard part - but when we overcome that - then I just get better and better with practice.

Even when I know how to do some things right, I still learn by doing it YOUR way.

For example, earlier today I was hiking on a series of game trails in the mountains with a group of people. Some said we should go this way and I said we probably should go that way but I went their way first, being that it was a hike I brought them on and I'm game for anything.

After only about a half mile of hiking along a game trail that led to a deep ravine, we found a nice cave that we had never known even existed. Unfortunately, this ravine led in a direction opposite from where we wanted to go, so we doubled back up the game trail and went the way I had originally said (it wasn't really a fair choice as I had the advantage of knowing the terrain better).

But the point is that had we not gone their way first, I'd never have found the cave.

So it's all good!

By listening to how others want to do things, we all get better results!

I love this line I just saw in someone's tongue-in-cheek profile...

"My vibrator died... seeking replacement.."
Some may consider me a clever boy with a good scene of humor. who prefers to follow your direction but who can and will try to anticipate your needs.

It's critical to note that I take correction extremely well which keeps me forever in the learning (or training stage) with you where my constant improvement is aimed at increasing your pleasure at all times.

I think it is very important to note that, contrary to many others, I thoroughly enjoy directional correction, in so much as it allows me to hone my skills to better please you.

To that end, you might be directed towards this thread for more details...

TITLE: The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you
URL: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4874678/tm.htm

I just wrote up for someone my Myers-Briggs assessment of myself, which, I'd consider to be an ExxP (I'm sure you never heard of that - so - allow me the luxury to explain if I may).

First, in summary, that's two strong personality traits on the outside (E & P), and two well-balanced personality traits on the inside.

So, I'm both a strong personality (which is good) and a well balanced personality (which is also good, but different).

It's rare.

To explain, the "E" is moderate, so it's always an E (it never switches to an "I" for example, in subsequent tests), but it's not super strong. It's a moderate E, which means I love being around people, but I can handle being alone too - I just prefer to energize around people. The "x" and "x" I'll skip for a minute, to get to the strong "P", which means that I value order in OTHER people, where I can follow them, and I, myself, am as open minded as they get because my "P" is very strong. I'm adventurous, and open to ALL new things (well, almost all) and that's what a strong P is all about. I take correction well because of it, as I'm not wedded to my original ideas, and yet, I find the strong "J"s easy to follow, because they have their act together.

As for the middle 'x' 'x', what that indicates is that I'm BALANCED in how I take in data, e.g., I use a healthy mix of intuition and sensing at the very same time, taking in a LOT of data, as needed ("S"), or none at all ("N"), and that allows me to have a lot of input about anyone or anything.  I score on tests either way, sometimes an S and sometimes a N, simply because of the balance I have in those two preferences.

The second "x" is also well balanced in how I make decisions, taking into account a healthy mix of facts ("T") and people's emotions ("F"), such that I generally make good decisions, as long as the data isn't too conflicting.

My weakness is when the data doesn't point to an easy answer, because I have so much input (both intuitive and sensed) and I take into account so much in the output (both people's feelings and factual logic), that, it's hard for me to make some decisions when the data conflicts or when it would hurt someone.

That's where I follow a strong N/J intuitive quick thinking person who has a lot of order in her life!

A perfect match, I think, would be a "J" who enjoys having things done for her her way! Feel free to discuss further with me YOUR profile, as I enjoy discussing your personality and how it relates to your life, needs, and desires.
This is a great eye opener video about how women are treated in society:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/07/gender-roles-reversed-film-oppressed-majority_n_4740248.html

It doesn't delve deeply into the grass roots, but it does cover the superficial indications rather professionally.

And, this is a great video about "consent" using "tea" as an analogy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
I actually like to be indebted to someone. There's such a nice feeling of it's-my-fault-so-it's-my-duty kind of thing. Sort of like where punishment ends and training begins.
Someone asked what objectification means to them, to which I responded, today:

Objectification is a topic that can't be "correctly" answered, but, the OP can cull out their own personal conclusion from the almost certainly differing opinions that may arise.

With that disclaimer, what I found fantastic about what I consider "objectification" to be, is that the object is a toy, a tool, chattel if you will, that performs a task to an end result.

Just as a hammer (noun) hammers (verb) nails into wood to produce a house (results), the objectified person (or select usable parts thereof) is used as an object (noun) to perform an action (verb), usually with some expected set of stated results.

If people don't agree with that general deion above, then I will learn something new, but, if we assume my fundamentals are correct, we can then delve into the specific "insert noun here" and various and sundry "insert verb here" to produce "insert expected results here".

Purely by way of single illustration (and hopefully not to promote wank fodder nor to incite ire), one potential example of being used as an object would be if your owner were to instruct you to "fuck her 3 friends silly" in the next hour ... "or else".

It should be apparent that, in this situation, given the biological propensity of men to consider a woman and a ham sandwich equally interesting within moments of your initial orgasmic letdown, you're not supposed to cum after the first, nor after the second woman has been sated by the incessant testosterone-fueled pounding you are to deliver to each, and the "or else" menacingly implies that a riding crop or other incentive impetus of her choosing may certainly be utilized to spur you to maintain your fast and furious goal-oriented attitude until THEY are ALL satisfied (your needs, wants, and desires being nearly meaningless, except for your one stated goal of obeying and pleasing your owner by satisfying her stated wishes).

Of course, given almost any combination of the "noun", "verb", and "expected results", an infinite number of objectification possibilities arise, limited only by her imagination...
[image]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2WT67KC5bQg/Tgc-gfUDWmI/AAAAAAAABVA/bdtKj7wRPiI/s1600/-+%252B+-+00000+LIGHT.jpg[/image]

EDIT: At the risk of invoking the ire of the do-me-sub antagonists, to try to answer your question of what "I" personally like being objectified, to me, it's a great feeling to be used merely for My assemblage of strengths, such that she appreciates them, as tools for her specific desired results.
These are must-see videos for any submissive male because they show how inconsistent men are when it comes to this particular kink.

1. Yes Mistress Janice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drcTRzO2wMk

2. I am a pro Domme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XSMzkGSju4
I just read a long interestingly well written journal ORIGINAL:  AAkasha), from which I shamelessly plucked the following ideas that piqued my interest... paraphrasing them to fit my hopes and dreams...

"Wait - hold on - I am not quite done with you."

"Come here!", she ordered. "And make me cum, again."
He hesitated momentarily, slightly cocking his gagged face quizzically ...

"You have sixty seconds", she outlined.
"Then we start adding pain to the equation!"

Quickly and promptly, his confusion abated, he dutifully obeyed, much to her delight.

After much gleeful time had passed, she sensed he was wavering anew...
"Wait - hold on - I am not quite done with you", she ordered.
"Get back to work!".

Moments later, she guided and clarified her needs, “Keep doing that!”
Three simple words. that’s all she needed to kick start his second wind.

Immediately afterward, she finally let him rest, but not for very long, as it was only the second way he was to please her that day.

"The third way," she said, "Is the most meaningful. The most painful. The most unnatural for you."
He said, “No. Please. I don’t deserve it.”
She smiled at his acumen, still holding the riding crop in her hands, "It could hurt for quite a bit.
At least, until I cum."
Essentially, femdom art for women is different than femdom art for men, where the art-for-women focuses on the feelings of relationship, while the art-for-men focuses on the use of the men as physical objects - therefore - the art-for-women doesn't scare me at all (nor evoke the same erotic passion in my loins) as the art-for-men appears to.

Those damn femdom artists. They're so manipulative!
The entire "pet" allure is fantastic. Surprisingly, I find myself involuntarily getting aroused just walking into a Petco, which is a strange experience. When I see someone with a pet dog or cat, where the cat or dog cherishes the owner, obeys her, and purrs next to her, it's a fantastic feeling of envy (but in a good way, so, I guess it's joy).

Your pet should make you happy, adore and worship you, and, be cherished, in return, by you.
I'd love to be owned and appreciated, and, in turn, I'd please as i would be trained to please.

To me, service is all about what makes you happy ...

And, what makes me happy, is all about being given the opportunity to be trained, and appreciated (i.e., communication, care, and appreciation).
Power exchange is the foundation of any relationship I choose to be involved in.
I am a realist, I want to 'do' all that I think about doing. The reality of serving You naked and caged 24/7, is not a reality I share, and 'force' is NOT a fetish of mine, as I lean toward absolute obedience, but on a relationship basis, and only in the context of the boudoir.
I am willing to interact with, even on a simple correspondence level.
I welcome hearing about experience and skills you desire.
In enjoy training based on protocol, etiquette, and servitude.
My fetishes are listed in my profile, with the primary focus on service, obedience and devotion.
I posted this today on a thread that asked what people liked most about oral sex...

For me, giving is far better than getting
.

What "I" enjoy most about oral sex, for me, is the aftercare!

Namely, the aftercare AFTER she orgasms (hopefully multiple times, squirting as she sees fit to do), as I then get to rest my (tired by then) head in her (warmly) satiated lap as she glowingly pets my hair radiating satisfied appreciation in a variety of subtle feminine ways, perhaps still lightly nibbling or kissing, or just resting my head between her legs.

I must admit, when the tongue isn't long enough, there's nothing wrong with being told to strap on the mouth dildo to finish the job (and being told to "keep moving!").
I have learned that men think they are in control but it is the woman who wields the power to manipulate the little rudder that can turn the whole ship. I love the feeling of capitulating wholly to that girl power to redirect a man to concentrate on what exactly it is that makes HER happy.

It is a sensual experience beyond the typical masculine comprehension to submit.
Sincere desire to be of service to lady friends.

Are feelings wrong?

I would LOVE to entertain in a FemDom CFnm kind of way that isn't about me or about exhibitionism, but merely of being of service entertainment for friends who enjoy whatever the service is that you'd like.

Whatever you want me to do (within normal bounds), I would do, because it pleases and entertains you.

While I can certainly come up with ideas, it's really what YOU want, that matters.

What makes you smile or giggle or feel powerful over another. I'll be your Ken doll so to speak, or your dish cleaner, or your maid, or your masseuse, or personal valet for foot massage, or your puppy dog for training, always doing what you say in a very politely strong but obedient way.

As you can tell, I am always submissive, and I want you to have fun with me entertaining you however you want to be entertained. Always safe, sane, consensual. I'm game if it pleases you. Would you want to test me out?

I'm sure there is one woman out there, who desires what I can offer, just let me know. I'm waiting to please you.

I usually give more than I ask for, so please don't expect to be required to write as long a missive as I may to you.

As always, if you find something that you feel needs correction, please let me know immediately, if not sooner, as I strive for perfection in all that I do, yet I do realize you will never reach your seventh heaven , no matter how high I aim; but I still try with all my heart and soul, to bring you the bliss you deserve, in the inherently feminine power of everything that is you.

My goal is to find a lady who knows exactly what she likes, and how she likes it.
You simply and clearly communicate your needs to this shy but compliant subordinate humble respectful male, who lives to please and to faithfully serve a worthy woman, where both respect our mutual innate inner feelings of delicious felicity, upon a job well performed.

I'm an intelligent confident, perceptive, well spoken, well traveled subservient, who craves to bask in appreciation of your euphoria. I realize that, while we're clearly on different sides of the kneel, we are mentally and physically intertwined, in how we innately complement each other, to make a more delightful whole out of my willingly commanded personality and your delectable need for delight and bliss.

My ideal relationship would be with a good natured pleasant woman who takes the reins I willingly provide to mold my admittedly teachable spirit into what she wants to make of me, for her enjoyment, and delight. Realistically, this probably won't extend to the more complex vanilla world - but - at least at first - would be confined to the privacy of the private boudoir. Long distance will likely not work, except as pen pals. Your current relationship status doesn't matter as this deliciously enticing endeavor is all about adding enchantment to your personal felicity, where I, as the cherished pet, accept you at your starting point, and you are willing to accept me at mine, while we build the relationship around providing for your merriment and well being and joy.

Bearing in mind my eminently moldable spirit, I am confident enough in myself to take well-meant correction rather well and always with a positive, obedient, and respectful attitude at all times. I admire one who inherently appreciates training me to serve you in the best way possible, and correction is an inevitable cog in the never-ending sequence of learning how best to increase your delightful enchantment.

Your happiness is always my first and only priority when we're together; your contented satisfaction my only goal. I gain personal gratification and my keen sense of worth when you are in the paradise of your own making. It's not my weakness that I wish to serve and please you, but, combined with my confidence, intelligence, and humility, complaint obedient malleable subservience is my true inner strength and differentiator over others. (Actually, I also have a wide-open approachable expansively gregarious personality, but this profile is, by choice, mostly related to my D/s sensuous tendencies.)

Based on my strict Roman Catholic (and all that entails) upbringing, female worship and obedience comes perfectly naturally to me. I'm soft wired for providing pleasure, and earning the luxury of your praise.

I am nothing, without understanding what makes you content, pleased, and in your own paradise. Since I feed off of your bliss, I must strive to sincerely understand you. This task will not be a one-way street, out of necessity. You need to communicate your needs.

Once communicated, you may need to correct, so, please allow me the luxury to understand your needs, hopes, desires, and goals, so that I may at least begin to prove to you my worth, the best way I know how.

My journal contains my daily stream-of-conscious thoughts if you wish to know (much) more about me, and whether we're a fit for pleasing you to the level of delightful ecstasy. There is no way to remove the sexuality out of this equation, so, bear in mind that I'm focused on your D/s euphoria.

It's a comforting space to potentially be in to be of service to someone who knows exactly what she wants, and how she wants it, for as long as she wants it, and who appreciates the focus entirely on her, whatever it may be that pleases her.

While I expect appropriate approbation when I don't perform to your liking, as your valued property, I also never expect to be mistreated or humiliated.

If/when I make a mistake, no matter how minor, I hope you let me know my error - I actually love being corrected - because I learn as a direct result, and give better service next time, which earns me greater accolades in the future, and we're all happier with better service overall, aren't we?
Would you enjoy being kissed and touched exactly how YOU like it to satisfy you?

You deserve to be served, bathed, manicured, and massaged to relaxation the way you like being pampered, All you have to do is command. It's that easy when you own a submissive as obedient as I am. I will obediently and willingly obey your commands. It's all about you.

My job is simply to willing do what you say on your terms. Self-controlled satisfaction.

What could be better than not having to deal with vanilla guys who think it's actually about them too. Why should you worry about anyone but you. I'm your pet! If this sounds ultra special, then all you need to do is tell me what to do.

Don't you deserve to have it all YOUR way for once?
It is gratifying to know when you are pleased as that makes me warm inside.

My Myers-Briggs personality is unusual, in that I'm a very high "P" for perceptive, whereas most people are "J" for judgmental). Neither is better or worse, good or bad - just different. Apparently I'm on a different scale than most people, in that I feel most comfortable when in service, commanded as one commands a beloved and appreciated pet.  Short curt direct commands. Not ill minded. But directed, and then, appropriate appreciation for a job well done, or immediate correction if/when I err - all clearly (if curtly) communicating your needs for your pleasure.

I am attentive to your needs and stated desires, and I am reliably very eager to please.  It almost goes without saying that I am extremely thorough once I am clearly aware of your needs. However, I'm not a mindreader, and never will be, so, I'm thankful to you when you direct me to be at your service as you see fit.

It's all about you, not about me.
I have very strong hands (good for massage) and good stamina, and I am compliant, friendly, obedient, and most important, I am educated, clean, well traveled, well spoken, absolutely no drugs or non-sexual vices, not a smoker, intelligent, very interested in history, open on politics, very much into the outdoors, and, unlike most men, I don't watch sports (although I played them or years as I'm athletic, or at least used to be).
I'm a bit geeky, most comfortable in jeans and a casual shirt, very mechanically inclined and a bit talkative, at times.

An ideal female leader would be able to productively make use of my inherently compliant desire to please, while, at the same time, appreciating my always positive attitude and my very obedient impressionable teachable spirit.

I never wish to be mistreated, although I do understand I may often need to be trained to learn that which evokes your contentment and bliss.
I am at your service...

Service is defined as what makes you happy ...

In a discussion about the difference between men and women, I wrote that I can't imagine any woman "needing more dick", but I do imagine almost all men "needing more pussy", but, that doesn't seem to be what the folks are saying in that thread.

Regarding woman's desire, I can't imagine that the desire is anywhere near the same as men's desire, as women are so much more complicated than men, from the start, in that their desire is wrapped up in far more than just a horny thought or two. In contrast, we men are as simple as dogs. Very very simple we are. And horny all the time. It's not how I would design things; but it is what it is, and I'm not going to change it simply by understanding what it is.


But, maybe I'm wrong?

Let me know what YOU think.
If/when I make a mistake, no matter how minor, please let me know my error - I love being corrected - because I learn as a direct result, and give better service which earns me greater rewards, and we're all happier with better service overall.
I provide devotion. It is as simple as that.

I am articulate, intelligent, and very much able to make decisions when instructed. I'm drama free. I wish only to be positive addition to your life.

I am strong, and, I believe the stronger the man the greater the gift of submission.

I am  worldly enough to hold a conversation and have an opinion when asked.

I have talents in massage, home repair, pedicure, and ladies' maid services, and I'm willing to train for services which provide you pleasure and satisfaction.
It's my job to please you to your satisfaction.

People suggested I shorten my profile so here is the old (long) profile:

Whatever makes you happy ...
I would like to find a [local] woman who knows exactly what she likes, and how she likes it. You simply and clearly communicate your needs to this shy but compliant subordinate humble respectful male, who lives to please and to faithfully serve a worthy woman, where both respect our mutual innate inner feelings of delicious felicity, upon a job well performed.
I'm an intelligent confident, perceptive, well spoken, well traveled subservient, who craves to bask in appreciation of your euphoria. I realize that, while we're clearly on different sides of the kneel, we are mentally and physically intertwined, in how we innately complement each other, to make a more delightful whole out of my willingly commanded personality and your delectable need for delight and bliss.
An ideal female leader would
be able to productively make use of my inherently compliant desire to please, while, at the same time, appreciating my always positive attitude and my very obedient impressionable teachable spirit. I never wish to be mistreated, although I do understand I may often need to be trained to learn that which evokes your contentment and bliss.
My ideal relationship would be with a good natured pleasant woman who takes the reins I willingly provide to mold my admittedly teachable spirit into what she wants to make of me, for her enjoyment, and delight. Realistically, this probably won't extend to the more complex vanilla world - but - at least at first - would be confined to the privacy of the private boudoir. Long distance will likely not work, except as pen pals. Your current relationship status doesn't matter as this deliciously enticing endeavor is all about adding enchantment to your personal felicity, where I, as the cherished pet, accept you at your starting point, and you are willing to accept me at mine, while we build the relationship around providing for your merriment and well being and joy.
Bearing in mind my eminently moldable spirit, I am confident enough in myself to take well-meant correction rather well and always with a positive, obedient, and respectful attitude at all times. I admire one who inherently appreciates training me to serve you in the best way possible, and correction is an inevitable cog in the never-ending sequence of learning how best to increase your delightful enchantment.
Your happiness is always my first and only priority when we're together; your contented satisfaction my only goal. I gain personal gratification and my keen sense of worth when you are in the paradise of your own making. It's not my weakness that I wish to serve and please you, but, combined with my confidence, intelligence, and humility, complaint obedient malleable subservience is my true inner strength and differentiator over others. (Actually, I also have a wide-open approachable expansively gregarious personality, but this profile is, by choice, mostly related to my D/s sensuous tendencies.)
Based on my strict Roman Catholic (and all that entails) upbringing, female worship and obedience comes perfectly naturally to me. I'm soft wired for providing pleasure, and earning the luxury of your praise.
Having said all that, I realize you do not need me. I need you.
I am nothing, without understanding what makes you content, pleased, and in your own paradise. Since I feed off of your bliss, I must strive to sincerely understand you. This task will not be a one-way street, out of necessity. You need to communicate your needs.
Once communicated, you may need to correct, so, please allow me the luxury to understand your needs, hopes, desires, and goals, so that I may at least begin to prove to you my worth, the best way I know how.

My journal contains my daily stream-of-conscious thoughts if you wish to know (much) more about me, and whether we're a fit for pleasing you to the level of delightful ecstasy. There is no way to remove the sexuality out of this equation, so, bear in mind that I'm focused on your D/s euphoria.
Warning: My journal is looooong and rambling, yet, still informative and focused. I usually give more than I ask for, so please don't expect to be required to write as long a missive as I may to you. As always, if you find something that you feel needs correction, please let me know immediately, if not sooner, as I strive for perfection in all that I do, yet I do realize you will never reach your seventh heaven , no matter how high I aim; but I still try with all my heart and soul, to bring you the bliss you deserve, in the inherently feminine power of everything that is you.

Whatever makes you happy ...
I feel comfortable when commanded as one commands a beloved pet.
Short curt commands. Not ill minded. But directed. Appreciation for a job well done.
Approbation when not performed to Her liking.
It's a comforting space to be in to be of service.
Paradoxically, I feel I am strong to the outside world, but crave to be weak in private.
Painfully shy and vulnerable, easily led, willingly follows.
I am shy but we need to talk. The more I know about what you need, want, desire, enjoy, hate, and think about, the better equipped I will be to surrender in a way that makes it all click for the both of us.

When we develop an attraction where I want to please you, I am surrendering to you (a whole person) just as much as you are dominating me (another whole person) - and not just any old interchangeable sub.

I am not everything to every domme, nor do I try to be. For the most part, a straight female Domme and a straight male sub will be more or less compatible in kink play, so that the huge question is vanilla compatibility.

I therefore need to know you (the whole you) and your needs, and, what you enjoy most, even though I am shy.
I have come to accept that every bone in my body is altruistic.

“How else may I serve you?” is always in my mind.

I admire and strive to be more like those who are instinctively perceptive and tuned to your fascinating needs and interesting desires, and especially those who can anticipate them without having to read the instruction manual.

Tell me how to please you; correct me when I don't; praise me when I do.

Teach me a new skill!

Allow me to practice that skill, serving you.

Tell me what it is you want, just one thing, a service is best, or teaching you a subject.
Give me enough time to learn a bit more (and some guidance).

Then, let's practice together. I provide the service. You guide me as needed.
The goal is your satisfaction.

Write to me and let me know the service you'd enjoy most.
Useful local URLs:
http://cfnmsf.wix.com/cfnm
https://fetlife.com/users/3016516
Sometimes there is pleasure in just knowing both the right way and the wrong way of doing things.
I like to learn how to do things, right.

There are subtle nuances in anything I do, and I do NOT claim to know them, offhand. I am NOT an expert in anything. But, I like to TRY to be an expert.

Does this make sense to you?

To explain, I like to know the difference between doing something one way versus another.
This works in real life as in my fetish fantasy land here.

In the fetish fantasy land, I want to know how you enjoy things done for you. I strive to learn from you, for example, how you want your feet bathed, perhaps with a basin of warm water and a soapy sponge, toweled dry; how you like your legs massaged and scented; how you like your toenails manicured; what color you like your toenails painted; how you like your nipples suckled or for how long you enjoy your pussy licked; what tea you enjoy and at what temperature; how you like your meal served and cleaned up, etc.

There are always OTHER ways to do things, but, I like to learn how YOU like them done.

For me, learning what YOU like, provides succinct and focused clarity. And clarity is simple to follow. No guesswork. Fewer mistakes (less punishment). Better praise. More enjoyment.
Someone kindly asked me inquisitively what "my" kinks were, to which, I replied, in effect, the following, which, explains to any prospective Dommes, a bit about me...

As for my dreams, oh, at the risk of leading with 'my' kink, I must admit truthfully that I have them, yes, indeed. Trust me I do. While I am intelligent, creative, and imaginative, I also have the same (perhaps mundane?) likes and desires as almost all men (as far as I know).

For example, while I love to be the instrument of your pleasure, and I take special satisfaction out of performing my given duties to your erotic enjoyment, I'm not above having some pleasures performed on me, and, as a devoted but simple minded pet, I would never refuse a valid offer of having my metaphorical belly rubbed. (I once told a girlfriend long ago "no" to a blowjob, and, we joked thereafter, after we broke up, about what my regrets were, that I should vow to "never refuse a blow job because you never know if it's not the last one you'll get from her".

As a devoted pet, I'm also not above enjoying being objectified, and shown off to my Mistress' satisfaction and ego. Choosing body parts, for example, my cock is, well, is something that I'm proud of, and I feel immense pleasure when it is matter of factly' examined, apart from me as a whole, as an object - a toy - an instrument designed for specific use being handled and examined for the suitability of that specific use. In fact, every part of my body, from my large hands to my stronge tongue can be objectified by the right person, and I'd enjoy it. I'd even enjoy being shown off to others, only, as a devoted puppy, always at your command, beck, and call. If I performed well, it would make you look good, as it would be due to your training and focus and leadership.

I'd enjoy pleasuring you, using that same manly equipment, and of course, I"m also proud of my lingual skills, being both flexible and long lasting. I also have Roman Hands, and enjoy touching you anywhere, and everywhere, and would love to be given free rein, at times, as a reward, to worship your entire body, with my lips and hands, enjoying a great amount of time at the good spots, for mutual satisfaction.

Yikes. Have I said too much already? I'd better send this off quickly, before I think better of it, and delete these honest assessments of "my" enjoyments....
Adoring is what I do best. Cuddling, suckling, licking, bathing, massaging, and serving also come to mind.
If I may be permitted, just once, to lead with my kink, I would arrive, strip, kneel, await the snap of the fingers, come forward, head bowed, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, ...faster ... lick, lick, lick, ... lick, lick, lick, ... lick, lick, lick, ... lick, lick, lick, .. lick, lick, lick, faster faster lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, ... until ... ummmmm.... I did my job well and I can lie contended, close to you, head in your lap, as we rest together.
I tend to worship you, in ways that involve focus on kissing, licking, and focus on your needs, and to focus on pleasing you, through dedicated service.

I especially love to worship where it goes directly to your pleasure centers, so much more than, say, your boots, which are once, twice, or even thrice removed from pleasure - yet - I like to focus my service on what you find gives you pleasure.

I especially enjoy when you provide direction in both cases of worship and service, and I try to respond faithfully to all requests.


With my particular personality, I can make really good decisions "if" the data lines up (my personality is to input more data than probably anyone you have ever met, coupled with high intuition that is on par with high sensing, and then that data-input is paired with decision making preferences where feeling is just as evenly on par with thinking).

Someone who is intuitive and thinking, for example, would have made the decision loooooong ago (probably within the first 10 minutes).
Someone who is sensing and feeling would also have made that decision long ago.
It's hardest for people, like I am, who are evenly sensing & intuitive and thinking & feeling when the data doesn't line up and when the feelings need to be considered.

By way of example, buying a car or house or play toy is easy for people like me, since we take in lots of data and make really good decisions bearing in mind both feelings and facts.

Choosing a prospective employer is a bit more difficult, since we take in more inputs than most and consider more outputs than most.

And, what's hardest, is human-to-human interaction since we tend to give equal weight to facts and intuition and to feelings and logic, all of which is EASY when things line up - but immensely confusing to us when they don't line up in a reasonably fitted curve.
My profile is a work in progress, and I'm not at all happy with it, as it doesn't quite express my feelings as accurately as I wish my words would convey.

To that end, of improvement, I just updated it though, and plop a copy here, for posterity's sake, as I'm sure it will be revamped in the future, perhaps with your corrections taken into account once you get to know me as we weed out any inaccuracies in the depiction.

....

Teach me how to please you; correct me when I don't; praise me when I do.


I would like to find a [local] woman who knows exactly what she likes, and how she likes it. You simply and clearly communicate your needs to this compliant subordinate humble respectful male, who lives to please and to faithfully serve a worthy woman, where both respect our mutual innate inner feelings.


I'm an intelligent confident, perceptive, well spoken, well traveled subservient, who knows that the real target of our special desires, in happiness, in our minds, and, I realize that, while we're clearly different, we are mentally and physically intertwined, in how we innately complement each other, to make a more delightful whole out of my adaptable personality and your delectable needs.


An ideal female leader would be able to productively make use of my inherently compliant desire to please, while, at the same time, appreciating my always positive attitude and my very obedient impressionable teachable spirit.


My ideal relationship would be with a woman who takes the reins to mold my admittedly teachable spirit into what she wants to make of me, for her enjoyment, and happiness. Realistically, this probably won't extend to the more complex vanilla world - but - at least at first - would be confined to the privacy of the private boudoir. Long distance will not work, except as pen pals. As any pet would be, your current relationship status doesn't matter as this deliciously enticing endeavor is all about adding enchantment to your personal contentment, where I, as the pet, take you at your starting point, and you take me at mine, and we build the relationship around your needs, and mine.


Bearing in mind my eminently moldable spirit, I am sure enough in myself to take well-meant correction rather well and always with a positive respectful attitude at all times. I admire one who inherently appreciates training me to serve you in the best way possible, and correction is an inevitable cog in the never-ending sequence of learning how best to increase your delightful enchantment.


Your happiness is always my first and only priority when we're together; your contented satisfaction my only goal. I gain personal gratification and my keen sense of worth when you are in the paradise of your own making. It's not my weakness that I wish to serve and please you, but, combined with my confidence, intelligence, and humility, complaint obedient malleable subservience is my true inner strength and differentiator over others. (Actually, I also have a wide-open approachable expansively gregarious personality, but this profile is, by choice, mostly related to my D/s sensuous tendencies.)


Based on my strict Roman Catholic (and all that entails) upbringing, female worship and obedience comes perfectly naturally to me. I'm soft wired for providing pleasure, and earning the luxury of your praise. 


Having said all that, I realize you do not need me. I need you.


I am nothing, without understanding what makes you content, pleased, and in your own paradise. Since I feed off of your bliss, I must strive to sincerely understand you. This task will not be a one-way street, out of necessity. You need to communicate your needs.


Once communicated, you may need to correct, so, please allow me the luxury to understand your needs, hopes, desires, and goals, so that I may at least begin to prove to you my worth, the best way I know how.


My journal contains my daily stream-of-conscious thoughts if you wish to know (much) more about me, and whether we're a fit for pleasing you to the level of delightful ecstasy. There is no way to remove the sexuality out of this equation, so, bear in mind that I'm focused on your D/s euphoria.

 

Warning: My journal is looooong and rambling, yet, still informative and focused. I usually give more than I ask for, so please don't expect to be required to write as long a missive as I may to you. As always, if you find something that you feel needs correction, please let me know immediately, if not sooner, as I strive for perfection in all that I do, yet I do realize you will never reach your seventh heaven , no matter how high I aim; but I still try with all my heart and soul, to bring you the bliss you deserve, in the inherently feminine power of everything that is you.

I find every person I meet extremely fascinating. I wish I had time to learn how to personally please them all.

For example, if you were to confide in me your deepest yet unfulfilled sensual or relaxation desire, I would generally try to figure out a way to provide that to you (often it's either a dedicated devoted service, or a novel way of approaching a solution).

Yet, having said all that, I often find my words lacking in that I try to have syllables and consonants express my deep inner feelings, but, the sheer depth and passion of my feelings are always far deeper than I can possibly manage to convey in stark black and white alphanumeric characters.

Yet, being the eternal optimist, I try.
  • Appreciation:
I must admit, I don't understand the attraction that some have for the uncaring cruel Domme.

Appreciation, is what I live for. Being useful. Being desired. Wanted. Needed. And, always, being appreciated.

I realize I must be worthy of appreciation, as, if it is given in falsity, it's nothing. I try hard to understand and to learn and to take correction (which is clearly not appreciation) well.

And, the appreciation must be sincere even if very simple. A nod of the head, a kind word, a simply smile, whatever it takes to convey the meaning. Such sincere appreciation takes various forms, but, if all my efforts are not to be appreciated, then, why try in the first place?

My point of view on this is that, if I'm going to try hard to learn what someone else wants, needs, and enjoys, and if I go the extra mile to supply that, in any way that I can, then, I would want to "feel" appreciated for doing that. In fact, if I'm not "feeling" appreciated, then I'll take my services elsewhere, as that's a key part of the dynamic that I am hard wired to enjoy.

What do you think?
While I enjoy being objectified for the sweet meat that I am, and I live to be used for my skills, I am not at all into degradation or cruelty of any sort.

It's one thing to swat me to correct me (as I would have deserved that, and more); but it's not for me for you to uncaringly abuse me or use me, with little regard for my feelings.

It's ok to train me and control me like you would your own pet, as long as I feel loved and adored and well trained and appreciated for following your commands ...

Does this make sense? Or is it contradictory?


I must admit, I don't understand the attraction that some have for the uncaring cruel Domme.

Appreciation, is what I live for. Being useful. Being desired. Wanted. Needed. And, always, being appreciated.

I realize I must be worthy of appreciation, as, if it is given in falsity, it's nothing. It must be real, even if very simple, appreciation. And, sometimes, it takes various forms, but, if it's all my efforts are not to be appreciated, then, why try in the first place?

Is asking for appreciation, when deserved, still topping from the bottom?
Happy Valentine's Day!

Submission calms the noisy mind, which, finally gets to live in the present moment - this moment created by someone else, whose happiness is then entire focus, of the heart.
To any prospective Domme, I'm definitely looking forward to learning exactly what pleases you, and I hope that, with communication, practice, correction and direction, the practice will make perfect.

And, what goal could there be that's better than that!
D/s is not the same as love, neither is love the same as D/s for me. They can be connected, but don’t need to. It all depends.
Clearly, you need are to be adored, in every way possible, and you need to be the one in control, as that makes for less confusion, and, you do not need to reciprocate in kind. That is not your responsibility.

As for my kink list, what I enjoy most is someone's orgasmic delight, more than one, if possible, as the sounds and sights and tastes of the feminine body reacting to orgasm are all so intoxicating deliciously sensual. My hard limits are quite normal ones (e.g., kids, scat, blood, breathing, etc.) while my soft limits are anything you enjoy and my desires are to be able to learn what it is you enjoy and to satisfy you.
Regarding your tea preferences, there are certainly taste variables but all teas start with freshly drawn cold water (the oxygen in the water helps oxidize the flavor in the teas). 

Even though the green, black, white, and oolong (aka wu long) Camellia sinensis teas start from the same leaf, that leaf may taste differently depending on the region it was grown, the time of year it was picked, and the processing method. For example, a black tea grown in the Assam region of India will taste differently from a black tea grown in Kenya, Africa.

But, then it changes from there, since, for example, a black tea is the most oxidized, while a white tea is the least oxidized, with green teas in the middle in terms of oxidation and oolong teas in the middle in terms of mechanical processing.

Even though they're all the same leaf, if you make a green tea the same way you make a black tea, it turns out bitterly.

Temperature is one factor. So, for black or oolong teas, you pour the 212 degree roiling water over the tea, while, for green and white tea, you need to let the water coil to around 185 degrees, which means the water is merely bubbling when poured over the green or white tea.

Time is another factor. So, black tea is generally steeped longer than 2 minutes, and up to about 4 minutes, while green teas are steeped for shorter periods, from about 1 minute to about 3 minutes.

Herbal teas (aka herbal tisanes), on the other hand, aren't "real" teas, but they're flavorful nonetheless. Depending on the starting point (e.g., chamomile flowers, lemongrass, basil, rose bud, yerba mate, South African red bush, etc.), the herbal tea would either be an infusion tea of non-woody parts (e.g., leaves & flowers) where you steep it in boiling water for about 4 to 8 minutes, or a decoction tea, which extracts more flavor from the herb's woody parts (e.g., stems & roots) and where you place the herbs in cold water and then bring it all to a boil and simmer for about the same period of time. To make a stronger herbal tea, simply add more tea, not more time.

Which style of tea do you prefer most?
While I do not wish to lead with my kink, someone noticed today, that a theme that unconsciously runs in my journal entries is that I like to use my mouth, whether it be to talk, or, more appropriately, to lick and suckle that which derives pleasure from same.

Having said that, I would hope you realize that I do desire to be of service to you, on your terms, which is, really, the best way to please you, after all.

Teach me how to please you; correct me when I don't; praise me when I do.

You only need to know what you like, and how you like it, and then, simply and clearly communicate your needs. I'm an intelligent submissive with a service attitude and a very obedient teachable spirit who takes correction very well and with a positive attitude at all times.

In fact, I gain personal gratification and pleasure in making someone like you happy. It's not my weakness that I wish to serve and please; it's my strength.

Worship comes naturally to me. I'm soft wired for providing pleasure.

Having said all that, I realize you do not need me. I need you.

Please allow me to understand your needs, hopes, desires, and goals, so that I may begin to prove to you my worth, the best way I know how.

 My journal contains my daily thoughts if you wish to know more about how I may learn better how to please you. As always, if you find something that you feel needs correction, please let me know, as I strive for perfection, yet I do realize I will never reach it, no matter how high I aim; but I still try with all my heart and soul, to please you.

Servitude is a gift as well as the owner should be grateful to graciously enjoy the focus of the servant.

Submissive does not equal weak.  In fact, it takes tremendous strength, courage, and humility in focusing solely on pleasing the way you want, wish, need, and deserve to be pleased.

In turn, I hope to become an irreplaceable asset of yours, as I strive to always do my best for you.

I am only being fair, in assuming that, I can only hope to repeatedly bring you to a relaxing state of euphoria, as you wish and desire, if the physical distance between us doesn't precludes a meaningfully consistent relationship, don't you think?

While I do have the typical hard limits (kids, blood, scat, branding, marks, weapons, breathplay, etc.), most of my limits are soft.

For example ...
I have no fetish for forced chastity - but if the right one enjoyed having me be chaste by force, I'd bear it, to please you.
I have no fetish for public play - but if the right one enjoyed having me show off my obedience to others, I'd bear it, to please you.
I have no fetish for being pegged - but if the right one enjoyed pegging me anywhere she saw fit, I'd bear it, to please you.
I have no fetish for wearing panties - but if the right one enjoyed seeing me in panties, I'd wear them, to please you.
I have no fetish for licking boots - but if the right one enjoyed having me lick your boots, I'd lick them, to please you.
I have no fetish for being whipped - but if the right one enjoyed having me bear the light lash, I'd bear it, to please you.
I have no fetish for being locked in a cage - but if the right one enjoyed having me be cage trained, I'd bear it, to please you.

What soft limits would you enjoy overcoming were you to have your way with me?

It occurs to me that the right Domme tends to likes to lead, and to communicate and teach, and train and correct ... while the sub lives to strive to know the Domme's needs, quirks, desires, hopes and pleasures, where all of this can happen at both the non-sexual level and, of course, at the sexual level.

All these things transcend the hopes, desires, fears, and joys of life.

I do agree it's hard to find someone worthy, as, in the Domme's case, men are a dime a dozen, where many fall by the wayside as being a waste of time, while, for the submissive male, the task is to find she who knows what she wants, how she wants it, and who makes we males strive to be at our best at all times.

Neither equation is simple to satisfy, but the quest is worth attempting, for the treasure is there for the finding.

Some rambling thoughts bursting to get out of my head this morning as I awake, and lie in my bed, alone, and lonely ... yet again ...

I am sincere, and I do desire a relationship with one who knows precisely what she wants (which is your power) and how she want it (taking all the error-fraught guesswork out of it for me). 

The mental symbiosis is inherently already there if we're both here, perfectly meshed for such a relationship to build, so that you most assuredly don't have to distract yourself from the inherent focus on your pleasure by attempting anything distracting to please me. What actually pleases me most is you being pleased. Truly pleased. Not faked pleasure, but real happiness and satisfaction, which is the kind that can't be faked.  It's just how I'm wired to enjoy.

Vanilla on the outside, once inside the threshold, I hope to find someone where I am obediently yours to use as you wish in privacy.  You may think of me as if I was your slave property, with the careful consideration to treat your property well enough to clearly communicate what you need me to do in order to faithfully deliver pleasure to you how you want it for as long as you want it.

Is that too much to ask?
To reiterate, what's important to me and, I hope, to you ... is that I strive to please you the way YOU like to be pleased. I feel it is my responsibility to focus on doing those things YOU want the way YOU want them done - for as long as YOU want them done - and at the pace that you want.
No other agenda than that. The reciprocation is that, when you are pleased, you simply tell me that I was a good pet. If you're not happy with my service, at any moment in time, you can, and should, correct me - so that I learn - on the spot - to deliver the pleasure you find appealing - just the way you like it - for as long as you like it. If my body aches from the effort - so be it. I should strive, above all, for you to be pleased with my service. As always, I'm amenable to any reasonable service suggestion you may desire that is safe, sane, and consensual. I beg of you to allow me to prove to you, with my intelligent brain, tireless tongue, strong hands, or whatever, what a good obediently willing and attentive slave boy I can be to you,
What's important, if we are to mesh well, is what needs do you have that I can emotionally and physically satisfy, and what qualities do you desire in a man that I embody naturally.

Regarding the latter qualities you desire, I'm by no means even close to perfect, but, I do embody some admirable qualities, such as the desire to learn how best to please, and the inherent confidence to have the ability to take correction well, and the and the stability of mind and body to function perfectly well outside of the D/s dynamic.

I think, if I were to pick a single thing missing in my life though, the need I am most missing in "my" life, is that for personal warmth, caring, and affection; and the quality I wish to improve most upon is, perhaps, mindfulness (e.g., mindfulness of your needs).
Someone asked where I get the ideas in my journal, the answer to which is simply that the concepts expressed in my journal are merely a sort of a rolling log of the thoughts trying to express themselves in my head, at any one moment in time.

It's really nothing more than the ideas, already there, trying to express themselves, given my limited ability to convey the meanings of so much that I inherently feel inside of me.
I changed my profile picture to more thoughtfully convey the intended meaning of service, and, in particular, a service based on my chosen profile name. I hope others can appreciate these finer subtleties inherent in all that we do in our daily lives.

To be sure, I am not the best at tea service, nor anything else, but, if you know what you like, rest assured that I take constructive criticism well, as I am confident in myself and my qualities, and in my value to others.

What I love about correction is that I LEARN from the correction, and, if allowed to repeatedly practice the corrected act, I further learn, as practice makes perfect.
How would I rate myself on the ability to providing service, that is, the acts or accommodations to make your life easier?

Domestic Services?
I would rate myself as needs improvement when it comes to basic domestic acts such as cooking, cleaning, bartending, office duties, serving tea, etc.
There is much I can learn, most of which is your preference.

Luxury Services?
I'd say I barely meet requirements when it comes to foot massage, manicures, pedicures, preparing the bath, shining your shoes, facials, waxes, etc., while I have been told I far exceed in some of the personal lingual services. However, as above, there is much to improve, as each service has a set of technical skills that one can only master with study, attention to detail, and practice, practice, practice.

Respectful Service?
I'd say that I may exceed the requirements for obedience, being mindful, watching tones, not arguing, acting within the rules and protocols of the relationship, but I might have issues with learning how to obey first and ask questions later, etc.

Overall, I have a lot to improve, and it will take communication on your part, so that I do things how you like them done.

I talk a lot, so, it's probably a good idea if you wish to gag me, so that I may concentrate focus on you and your needs.

If the gag has a useful implement on the end, for cleaning or vacuuming or whatever, all the better, don't you think?
I need to expand my service horizons, by learning how to better pamper.

If you're local, and if you need, say, a pedicure, or manicure, or if you just want tea served to you properly, with crumpets, I would like to have you TEACH me the tricks of the profession.

Namely, if you have a good idea of how you like to be, say, pedicured, then I would love to learn from you, by doing. You would need to communicate, to me, what you like, and I would translate that into action.

That's a perfect quid pro quo, where I learn, you teach, and you get your manicure (or whatever you want) the way you like it.

I deeply feel that a sub should concentrate on learning what it is that maximizes the happiness of its owner.

A good slave should, I feel, have a love and eagerness to please its owner, with an open willingness to take direction. With practice, patience, and correction, the slave could more readily achieve for its owner that goal of maximizing her happiness as she sees fit.

For most of us men, we concentrate on explicit sexual favors; but, in reality, truth be known, it's not necessarily so for our female owners. For the female owner, satisfaction could just as well be in the form of the slave properly making, presenting, and serving tea with crumpets to her satisfaction. Or it could be gently removing her shoes and stockings, carefully massaging her feet, patiently washing them down, studiously toweling them dry, and then skillfully providing a professional looking manicure.

The problem for we slaves is we lack the skills.

This truly devoted slave, for example, needs to learn things out of its comfort level, and, for most of us men, or, at least for me, the entire spectrum of cosmetology is outside my experience, yet, within the realm of what I need to learn. Sure, I can fix the plumbing, repair the car, install a ceiling light, etc., but I also need to concentrate on the soft skills, from preparing and serving tea to presenting myself in a way that pleases to taking correction well when intended well.

That means I need to be taught how to manicure as you please, how to pedicure to your satisfaction, what you like done for your facials, and how to perform relaxing massaging and soothing manipulations, all the while following proper protocol, as all those skills (and more) make me a better submissive, specifically tailored for your needs and desires.

If you can provide instruction in those skills, I would be honored to be your student, as I am always open to learning how to be better at what needs to be done for your satisfaction.

The nature of the true slave is to maximize the happiness of its owner.

The slave is chattel, who yearns to obey, serve, protects, and worship its master, and is not below providing a good body to be spanked or cropped, if not for sheer amusement or for obedience correction, then at least for its owner's stress relief, if nothing else.

Worthy subs must know their place in every communication with you, and the truly devoted sub's primary mission is to learn how best to serve you as you see fit. That may turn out to be learning how to keep things clean, neat, and organized for you. It could be learning the proper position and protocols that you enjoy.

One problem we men have, even those who are a good submissive at heart, who derive happiness by pleasing you ... is that we're essentially clueless about how to serve, and, specifically, how to serve you well. We need to be taught how to manicure as you please, how to pedicure to your satisfaction, what you like done for your facials, and how to perform relaxing massaging and soothing manipulations, all the while following proper protocol, as all those skills (and more) make a good submissive, specifically tailored for your needs and desires.

While I'm picky as to whom I wish to serve, I do wish to be a good submissive, tailored for you, where I strive to please you each and every time, such that that you will bestow the permission upon me to renew my endeavor of further pleasing you, at your convenience.
Serving is not about doing things I like doing already.
Serving is about doing what you like me to do, whether or not I do them already.

As such, I need to learn from you what and how you like being served.

I am not prescient, so you need to communicate to me how you like being served.

I should expect direction, earn correction, and devote myself to perfection in serving you.
There's something so very innately sensual about a human being used like chattel, used like you would use a car or boat, and lovingly yet purposefully handled like you manage your favored animals such as horses and dogs.

It's not an unkind handling, but, the sensual part is having my place, my rules, and having the objective to please you as I do your bidding, or be rightfully corrected, until I do.

An example would be my tongue, which, is for your pleasure, to be placed where you see fit for as long as you see fit. If you so desire, I should be striving to please you for so long, that my neck muscles should be sore, for days, just from thrusting to your very needs.

That, is how chattel is properly used.
Instead of me spending time and energy telling you what I like, I would prefer you telling me what you like, and me spending my time and energy doing that right.
You should use me, but not necessarily abuse me.
I'm a service submissive, at heart, and only wish for you to be pleased with my service.
What's important to me and to you is that I please you the way YOU like to be pleased.

No other agenda than that.  When you are pleased, you simply tell me that I was a good pet. If you're not happy with my service, you can, and should, correct me.

I take correction very well, and I don't get offended. It's my responsibility to do things the way YOU want them done.
Very interested in pleasing you how & when YOU want (it's about you).
If you're not enjoying yourself, then you have no need for me.
Tell me how to please you; correct me when I don't; and praise me when I do.
I make a very good slave boy, who wishes to obediently please your dominant or needy personality simply by doing exactly what you want, how you want it, and for as long as you want, without drama or barter.
My promise is that I leave you, happy and satisfied, whenever you want, at your beck and call (you must live in the South Bay for this to work). Upon your summons, I arrive, always on time, and always with a submissive demeanor, or, as you may require, I dutifully and respectfully pick you up. We are vanilla in public, but, once we cross the threshold, I immediately snap into role, where, in the privacy afforded indoors, where we can be ourselves, as we wish - you - the Owner, and me, the slave.
What happens next is up to you, and only up to me as for my limits, but to give you an idea of what can be yours for the asking, you have me immediately strip to a kimono (or whatever you please), and you expect me to assume a submissive kneeling position, head down, perhaps gagged, perhaps fettered, before you.
Like a puppy dog, I wordlessly and eagerly await your use of me as I do whatever your bidding, for your pleasure. When done, you dismiss me; and I leave. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm wired as a service submissive, at heart, where I earn pleasure when you are pleased with my faithful service. Other than that, none of my efforts are focused on me, as all my attention to details is intent on learning what you want, what you need, how you like it, how you don't like it, and when to start, stop, and leave (and hopefully, return at your next beckoning).
It should be clear that you need not reciprocate in kind. You are absolved of the need to do any work. I will do all the work for you. You may need to curtly correct me, so that I learn how you like it, but other than that, you need only offer me the chance to learn how to please you the way you wish to be pleased. While one-time is ok, the goal is your continued pleasure by your objective use of my skills, so my goal will be to please you, each time, and every time, you need me.
To be sure, I realize there are others like me, so I do realize I need to be good. I need to understand exactly what you like, how you like it, when you want it, and, with a snap of your fingers after you are pleased and relaxed, you pat me on the head, and say "thank you pet, 'till next time. Is this about sex? No. Not for me. Not directly anyway. We're dealing with the inherent wiring of our minds here, so this is not BDSM so much as it is D/s kinky pleasure, and the eroticism is in being used to please and to please as I am being used. It's a simple equation, which must be kept simple, and, which many submissive men fail to understand, as they lead with their kink, instead of your needs.
To be doubly clear, this is not about humiliation, as there is absolutely no shame in eagerly learning how to serve you the way you wish to be served. It is not about sex as there is no service more noble than pleasing you in the way you wish to be pleased. And, this is not about pain, as every direct and timely punishment I receive is fair, and earned, on my part, should I fail to either learn what it is you want or how it is that you enjoy. All I seek is the sincere desire to be of sensually obedient service to you, and, then, when you are pleased, to have you intimately smile and say, "Well done, pet. You may now leave, at least until I wish for your services anew".
How often will you need my services? This, is up to you. Perhaps once a day; maybe, once a week; or, more likely, once a month. My goal will be to of such service, that you will order me back, to please you time and time again, in as many ways as you see fit. This is my goal.
Notice I don't mention anything but your mind and your desires, nor much about mine. As such, you can look like anything (just please be biologically a woman), so you can comfortably be a younger or older pretty or ugly bbw or a married or single asian or a young or mature black or a single, separated, or divorced hispanic, or a desi indian or whatever woman. (You must be a woman. You must be squeaky clean, drug/disease free, and you must be respectfully classy, as am I.) Perhaps, in some ways, the worse you feel about yourself, the more I will feel the need to please you, as the more you use me for my mind, the better it is, for me - for my goal is to please you. About the only requirement you must have that is effort on your part is that you need to be able to communicate to me, in whatever way you deem, what it is you want me to do for you, so that I may successfully understand what it is I can do for you. The moment I err, I would expect to be corrected, so that I am led on the path you have desired, always, and deserve.
Long term relationship is the goal, but any human endeavor starts with clear initial steps, which I hope I have presented. If you are at all confused, or wish to ask for limits, please do not hesitate to ask anything of me. To be sure, I'm squeaky clean. A business professional. Rather well educated. Worldly and mature. Nicely discreet. And emotionally and financially stable. I am willing to meet you over coffee or tea, where your safety and mine is both paramount, and assured. And I'm willing to swap pertinent email and phone contact information so that you may communicate with me safely and efficiently. To repeat.
This proposal is not about sex. This is about pleasure.
Pleasure, for you, may take many forms, some of which can be as simple as a foot massage or manicure, or making and serving tea exactly how you like it done. You need no experience save for the knowledge of knowing what you like, or what you'd like to try. I may or may not have experience in what you need, but I will learn from you how you want it done, and that will be my goal. You'll notice I don't say what your pleasure will be, as, while I have as imaginative a mind as anyone (or more so), this isn't about MY pleasure (other than the desire to please you). This is about what YOU like. If you so desire, I can create a laundry list of things I would do for you, but, I prefer you tell me what you want me to do for you, rather than the other way around. As such, I'm open to any reasonable service suggestion you may have that is safe, sane, and consensual. We meet beforehand over coffee and exchange numbers, but I don't wish for endless emails any more than you do.
Very interested in pleasing you how & when YOU want (it's about you). Just inquire within, and enjoy. Please do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers as I have no interest in a findomme or in handing out tribute, which is a cheap way to serve.
I do realize, just because you are dominant, that it doesn’t mean you want to dominate me.

For that, it takes more.
I innately feel that confirmation of your satisfaction is my need.

Yet, I am decidedly not the Oracle at Delphi who is prescient above all; I am, but a mere mortal, armed only with the implacable desire to please and the sincere desire to discover what it is that you wish.

But, how do you demonstrate your very deepest most personal needs for me to even contemplate beginning to satisfy them?

Yes. How do convey those most intimate of your needs for me to even begin to slake?

Which of your wishes, shall I focus upon, which should I succeed in delighting you, and exceeding your very expectations, would ultimately begin to quench my own insatiable thirst to serve?

That indeed, is this service submissive's primary enigma.
Regarding cunnilingus, I feel it's one of the most pleasurable parts of the whole human sensual dynamic.

In fact, it makes me feel GOOD when I can be of service, gently kissing and sweetly licking for 30 minutes (whatever it takes) down there, since, the paramount objective is your happiness.

In a funny way, I feel properly used, if my neck is, by the time you are done with me, stiff and if there are scratch marks on my back as you guided me to your goal, and if, near the end at least, my hair is disheveled from your pulling and  shoving my face in and out.

At least that's "my" primary foreplay fantasy, and I'm sticking to it! :)

A Dominant desires to be needed, while a submissive wishes to feel wanted.

Someone mentioned they were afraid of heights, to which I just responded with my first experience ever, jumping from an otherwise perfectly good airplane.

As soon as you arrive at the hangar, they have you sign papers (of course), and then you have to sign papers saying you've signed papers! All they warrant is that the chute worked the last time it was used!

You pack a half-dozen people into a rickety Cessna, and they fly over the drop zone which has a huge X on the ground. You notice the trees, power lines, barbed-wire fences, cars on the road, etc., and wonder how you're ever gonna get anywhere near that X.

Then, the door swings open, and the wind is awful, and you suddenly realize you've never been in an airplane with the door wide open! It's more scary than the jump, as you feel like you're gonna fall out every time the little plane banks for a turn.  They drop the dummy parachute, to gauge the wind, and they make a run. Since I'm on the heavier side, they did me last (I'm not sure why). So you watch five of your fellow trainees disappear into the ether, out that inexplicably odd looking open door, and you begin to wonder if their chutes opened?

 

One tries to crawl back in off the wing, and the instructor pushes his feet on her helmeted head saying "oh no you don't", as she falls free from the airplane (they tell you never to try to climb back in once you step out onto the wing supports).

 

Then it's your turn. You look behind as the instructor yells "Next!". There's nobody to implicate but you. They could all be dead by now, and you'd never know it. It's still your turn. You begin climbing out on the wing, and, before you even realize what you're doing (the training was thorough) you're saying "step 1. hands on door". "step 2, leg out window", "step 3, feet on support struts", etc.,

Then, the instructor yells "Go Go Go!", and you drop away, not even thinking about what it is that you're doing, but whether or not you're doing it right (since you're always being graded). You fall, face first, arms and legs akimbo, staring at that X on the ground, but always noticing the trees and pavement.

Worried about the gut-wrenching shoulder pull, you're actually surprised that you're now floating and you hadn't even finished counting to ten. Looking up, you are suddenly the happiest person alive, once you see the chute has fully expanded and is holding you up, so to speak.

Only now, once you're past the count of ten, do you notice that, suddenly, in contrast to the loud noise of the open airplane, it's eerily quiet. Not a sound do you hear except your own breathing. No birds. No cars. No planes. No people. Well, person you do hear. The ground instructor is yelling to you on your radio strapped to your chest. Do this. Do that. (All stuff you already did, since you were trained well all morning.) You feel like yelling back "I did that", but, it's a one-way radio (or so they say, as they don't want you futzing with the equipment when you should be worried about other things).

OK. Now it's time to steer toward that big fat X on the ground. A little to the left (yikes, there are trees over there!). A little to the right (oh noooo, there are power lines!), OK, on target, down we go, feet fluttering, ready to hit, oooops, still too far, almost there, WHAM! Ouch! Umpch. (We used military chutes, so, you hit hard!)

My first jump was a 1-point landing (feet first). It's supposed to be a five point landing, feet, legs, hips, back, roll, etc. Whew! I survived. So did everyone else!

After jumping out of an open-door Cessna, being submissive to a local lady is easy!

Qualities:
1. A love and eagerness to please.
2. A willingness to take direction.
3. Patience and endurance.
Don't do anything for me. Do it for yourself. Have me do it for you. 
It would be my pleasure to please you.
My fantasy is you enjoying yourself.
Trying to UNDERSTAND female led relationships versus male led relationships by discussing the differences with people here, I've tentatively realized I need to better explore the concepts below.

1. Women are women first, biologically and emotionally, and kink second, just as men are. That changes the ENTIRE dynamic tremendously. It's not just the reverse of the same. So this major difference may explain a LOT of the corollaries that fall out of this epitome.

2. Following that first premise, men are overwhelmingly testosterone fueled into a frenzy of sexual and objective thoughts, while women, are, apparently far more free of, where they tend toward relationship-aware needs. This is possibly one reason why men tend to lead with the sexual (cock shots anyone?) and to overtly sexualize the femdom relationship (e.g., do-me subs), while women seem to tend toward their relationship needs first.

3. The laws of supply and demand being what they are, the result of the fact that the women can have almost any submissive man they want might be for some to keep different kinds of men around. They can have their "primary" men, for their sexual relationship, and then the secondary men for non-sexual service oriented needs, often, for some women, which includes financial rewards. This may also explain the prevalence of chastity devices on male subs, who are likely secondary partners, so the device enables the female to concentrate on other things, although the lack of release also contributes to the male focus, which might otherwise be drained prematurely for such secondary subs.

I formulate these statements solely to better understand the female-led versus male-led D/s relationships, and I make no warranty that they are actually true. They are open-minded ideas, to be worked out in more detail with thorough thought.
Testing which words get munged by the Collarspace s, and hence won't work in a journal, profile, or collarspace mail message...

deive === d.e.s.c.r.i.p.t.i.v.e (typed without the periods)
preive === p.r.e.s.c.r.i.p.t.i.v.e (typed without the periods)
=== e.v.a.u.a.t.e (typed without the periods)
=== >  < (angle brackets don't work when they're placed normally)
objectification === o.b.j.e.c.t.i.f.i.c.a.t.i.o.n (typed without the periods)


[quote]ORIGINAL:  FieryOpal

For some reason, the Collarspace system won't transmit certain words on the profile side; forum side isn't affected when making posts:

[b]s.cript[/b] + any word containing s.cript, such as de[u]s.cript[/u]ive or de[u]s.cript[/u]ion, tran[u]s.cript[/u]/ion, pre[u]s.cript[/u]ion, etc. (removes "s.cript" from text)

[b]e.val[/b], as in [u]e.val[/u]uate, [u]e.val[/u]uating, [u]e.val[/u]uation, medi[u]e.val[/u] (removes rest of sentence also)

[b]left-carrot right-carrot[/b], normal facing carrots + text contained within -- also unidirectional carrots [b]<<<---[/b] (you have to flip or reverse them, like this:  > < )

I believe that "s.cript" and "e.val," along with carrots, are used in programming codes, so they are read as such.  I haven't run across any other glitchy words or symbols yet like those above.
[/quote]
While I am not a masochist, I can see two purposes of you providing pain, the first of which is correction, so that I may do a better job of service for you, and the other is merely for me to wriggle for your joyful pleasure.

Which do you prefer?
I AM REWORKING MY PROFILE.
Storing the old one here. Why? I'm not sure.
I guess just because...

Obedient submissive with a service attitude and a very teachable spirit.

I gain personal gratification and pleasure in making someone happy.

It's not my weakness that I wish to serve and please; it's my strength.

Worship comes naturally to me.

I realize you do not need me. I need you.

Please allow me to understand your needs, hopes, desires, and goals, so that I may begin to prove to you my worth, the best way I know how.

As a professional male who leads a normal vanilla business life, I'm a shy and obedient service oriented male in the boudoir in my mind at night. I'm a puppy dog, who wants to understand his owner and be appreciated for pleasing her.

Correction is a natural part of learning your needs.
Service is a natural part of serving your needs.

As such, I would like to offer one deserving and appreciative lady in the Silicon Valley the sensual services of periodic
1. Hand & foot massage
2. Hand & foot manicure
3. Shoulder and upper back massage
4. Indian head massage
5. Henna artistry
6. Japanese tea ceremonial service
7. Bathing & shaving of your legs
8. Whatever household service you enjoy training me to perform punctiliously

How we structure this devoted personal service would be up to us, and I will never ask for any sexual satisfaction from you.

It is not my place to dictate, but, to give you an idea of my goals and desires, allow me to elucidate just one possible scenario which I can easily envision, where my goals and yours are met. 

The service starts when I arrive promptly at the stated time to attentively follow your hand and verbal commands, as you see fit. At all times within your domain, I immediately assume the submissive position you have instructed me to assume, which is always one of your choice, as I await further instructions, head bowed, eyes averted to the floor, lips always parted (or unceremoniously plugged with a strap-on dildo gag, again, as you see fit).

Since this profile is, of necessity, a one-way communication, I shall, for the purpose of illumination, assume that you would have me specifically kneel at the threshold of your doorway, my eyes averted, head respectfully bowed, hands held behind me, perhaps stripped down to a symbolic bow tie, leather collar, and secure cock cage, or in whatever you see fit for me to wear, as you eagerly, yet patiently, await your upcoming pampering.

As always, while I am your chattel, the focus is on you and your pleasure, not on me nor on mine, where the ritual provides a structure for me to dynamically get into the right mind space to wholeheartedly provide enjoyable service, to you.

Upon your curt command, I begin crawling toward you, as I wordlessly offer the prearranged service, always impeccably delivered, where you admonish me as needed, so that I may conform to your needs and desires, doing things the way you like them done. Just as you may be at work, you are in control of overall sub/slave/beastmeat management, as I am there only as a means to please you.
If necessary, especially in my early training period when I am learning your hand signals, you may feel the need to often use your crop on my bare body, to firmly and clearly underscore your corrections, as needed, and I am to dutifully obey as prescribed.  I move and act at your command, just as I sit attentively, at your command, and I would fully expect to be curtly corrected if I should displease you. You point. I perform.

Prior to service, you may inspect or examine your property as you see fit, perhaps instructing me to array myself in the kneel-down arms-akimbo knees-splayed out position to ensure I have arrived well groomed, impeccably clean, closely shaven, and nicely scented with your favorite cologne. No part of my body is private to me or hidden from my owner, who has full visual and tactile control of me while in scene.

If you are busy when I arrive, perhaps chatting on the phone or relaxing while viewing the television or finishing up that memo in your home office, you might wish to park me, as your footstool, until you are ready for whatever service you wish of me for that day.

At all times, you may wish to re-position me for either improved service, prominent display, appropriate punishment, or simply for your preferred viewing pleasure (or for the vicarious viewing pleasure of your guests).

When you snap your fingers, abruptly point, or simply utter a command, the desired service is performed as immediately, gracefully, and as attentively as humanly possible, whether it be domestic household chores, or mindful personal services.

When you have no further need of me, upon dismissal, I will respectfully kiss your feet in homage, awkwardly gather my clothes, and sheepishly crawl away, until I am out of your domain and until such time that you are, again, in need of the devoted and respectful service and attention you deserve.

If this Dominant/submissive D/s dynamic appeals to you, and if you're local to the bay area such that the pragmatics work out, please let me know your interest. Also, please advise me as to what your likes and dislikes are, as I am always striving to improve my personal service in both the vanilla and kinky world. If you are not from the SF bay area, then any and all advice and corrections are still welcome, from afar.

All advice will be taken to heart, as this is who I am inside, a key component being that I am never defensive when I am criticized or punished, as approbation is not a mortal challenge to my ego or pride, but a very necessary correction and discipline of my actions and attitudes so that I may better serve you and your needs.


< I kiss your feet & beg of your leave >

I'm well educated, and therefore I write reasonably well. Given that, I don't feel an innate need for case-sensitive (i.e., overt) spellings; I prefer to use simple yet emotionally illustrative adjectives and adverbs, to indicate the delicate intricacies of my devout submission.

What I say doesn't really matter; it's what I do, for you, that matters to both of us.

I am imperfect.

I must, at all times, avoid the mistake of thinking I already know how to submit.

Instead, I must spend my effort on learning how to submit through service to your unique needs.
Teach me how to please you; punish me when I don't; praise me when I do.
In my vanilla life, I do what I do; but when I'm with you, I do what you tell me to do.

Worship comes naturally to me.

I believe a female-led relationship is fundamentally different from a male-led relationship.

Some say they're the same.
But I don't believe so.

Some ask, how are they different.
And, I believe I don't really know the answer.

I am trying to serve the female side of things, from a male body.

But the difficulty in transcending my male psyche to better serve that of a woman's, shouldn't stop me from seeking the answer to better serve the Mistress.

Every scientist or engineer or psychologist or politician or manager (etc) who ever pondered ANY difficult problem has ALWAYS had to deal with details. However, if the details prevent the (scientist/engineer/psychologist/etc) from coming to any sort of conclusion, then they don't know their subject matter all that well.

I just need to be taught.
You don't need me, I need you.
I'm a successful, intelligent, well educated, well traveled man who needs someone like you to serve.
I need to prove to you why you should even consider me as your pet.
In meeting your needs, you will always find eloquence and gratitude.
I would consider myself lucky if you even consider me serving your needs.
I strive to please you, first and foremost.
As a faithful servant, my every thought is what you want and how you want it.
I should expect and deserve correction, until I serve how you want to be served.
And I should strive always, to please you to the utmost.
That means if you should desire my fingers to massage, they should be strong and never tiring.
Likewise should you desire to use my tongue as you wish, it should delve deeply where you tell it to taste.
If I am to wear a face dildo, my strong neck should be sore from thrusting, if that is your desire.
And, if you desire, my my balls should be blue and aching from lack of release, should that be your whim.
The only thing that should be rested and relaxed is that my mind should be satisfied from serving, and my ego praised when serving is done well as I relax, content, next to you, having pleased you to the utmost.
I want to learn, from you, what you enjoy.

Since there is no instruction manual, on what my specific duties must be, I learn by example, by demonstration, with hands on instruction and necessary correction.
eager to please, accepting of correction, even more eager to please and be praised for doing so.

It's no fun unless you get pleasure out of it; enjoy yourself, as I enjoy serving you.
Rules to live by...
1. Please her by doing everything she wants, and make her feel appreciated.
2. Listen to her, as she conveys, even subtly, her specific needs & wishes.
3. Present to her as she wishes me to present myself, and allow her to do as she pleases.
4. Don't expect her to indulge my fantasies - other than for me to fulfill hers.
I am fundamentally a connoisseur of YOUR fetishes, not mine - but would it then be wrong to admit that I love to worship pussy?
I mean, I REALLY love to worship pussy?

Still - what is always most important - is that I learn how YOU like your pussy served.

And, to be corrected, immediately, if I serve it wrong - yet - to be appreciated with a pat on the head when I serve it right.

Is it wrong to admit this?
It is all about serving you, and being attentive to your needs, not mine.
I expect to be corrected, if I err in serving you, as you may wish to praise me, when I exceed your expectations.
Faithful obedience, I believe, is the primary virtue, of a submissive.
What I serve is what you wish served.

My failing is that I don't omnipotently know what you wish.

My virtue is that I am willing to learn from someone who is willing to command and correct as necessary and then reward with affection when I perform to your satisfaction.
Shy submissive will do as ordered.
I'm shy and hesitant and inexperienced so you will likely want to take charge of me.

I left for a month or so, as things got hectic in my vanilla life, precluding anything going on in this alter life of happiness and blissful service.

Enjoy yourself.

I have always been good at pleasing the customer, and the customer is you.

Where is the sex?

For instance, where's the sex while massaging your feet while you relax and sip your favorite drink, or while you read a book or talk on the phone. 

There's nothing sexual in this?
It's not there, yet, I'd happily do that for long periods of time just to see you smile or sigh with contentment. 

In my mind, a woman's contented smile is a reward in itself. 

While it might turn me on to do that for you -- it would not actually give me any kind of sexual release whatsoever.  Yet, the mere act of comforting and pampering you alone can make me feel like all is right with the world. 

So, then...is that the reward? 
Is it that catering to you makes me feel like the world is safe and sane? 

And if that's it...then why? 
What's the connection to kink? 

It seems that for every answer I find while trying to figure out my sexual psyche, I dredge up a half dozen more questions. C'est la vie.
Pampering your body from head to toe in any way that pleases you is, to me, a happily accepted and to-be-obeyed natural  law.

Perhaps that means foot, leg, and back rubs, which are to be given with patience and focused attention to detail, where the goal is your comfort and relaxation.

It matters not my discomfort, as what matters is my abilities, my stamina, and my ability to do as you desire.

The right woman deserves to be pampered.  Pampering is defined by you in whatever ways you sees fit to have yourself tended to. 

Whether it's tending to chores, or bathing you,  or giving soothing massages, painting your toenails, or spending long hours orally pleasuring you, there's no greater joy for me than being your total house and body servant. 

One aspect of this dynamic is to be expected to carry out these various services, or to be ordered to perform them to your exacting standards, lest I be rightly punished for my transgression.
The ultimate pleasure is my partner's pleasure, and not all men are suitable for such an endeavor. Focusing on the partner's pleasure makes me vastly more attentive to the needs of my partner, serving her better in all ways that are pleasing to her.

It's not my role to question what is pleasing to her, but to LEARN and DO what is pleasing to her. As such, she must COMMUNICATE willingly with me, to allow me to UNDERSTAND what it is she finds pleasing.

Once I understand, it is but my objective to obey and fulfill the promise of service.
On discipline ... and punishment.

Punishment and discipline, is about correction and direction, although, if you enjoy inflicting pain, then you should be able to do so, within reason, merely for your amusement.

Correction-style punishment is justly deserved if I do things incorrectly, or, if I am unknowing displeasing you. The punishment should be as you see fit, of course, but it should, I would think, serve the purpose of making me realize my mistake, and making me want to do better, next time, so as to please you better.

It would seem to me that your purpose in disciplining me is so that I become a better servant to you, but, you may, of course, have ANY purpose in mind in disciplining me (sometimes, you might just want to see me flinch, but that's for your amusement).




Men who are submissive—and proud of it—should be free to identify themselves as such and not worry about what others think. Has the social stigma of appearing henpecked and pussy-whipped lessened any over the past decade?
I was born with the trait of submissiveness and my "submissive pride" comes naturally. I always want to please others.  I am proud of my submissiveness. I am a caring person who could make a wonderful partner.

Interestingly, I was raised in a strongly matriarchal home with Roman Catholic teaching. I was brought up to respect women and bow to a woman's powers so I am naturally very accepting of female leadership.

While I still have a male ego, a quick "good boy" from you about what a good servant I am makes me beam with pride. It is especially pleasing when you show me off or make that remark in front of your female friends, as I want to be known as "your good boy". I may be a lowly submissive, but praise still manages to put me on my own pedestal for show.

That tactic, of showing me off to your female friends, redirects the male pride by changing the source, while being biologically correct. My submission is bettering me. I;m learning how to do things for you, and I'm learning new tasks, and I'm being shown off to your female friends. All this make me proud to serve you.

In fact, if you create a formidable reputation for me, I'll actually be afraid of ruining that and disappointing you in front of your cherished friends. My manners will be impeccable, and my obedience will be as attentive as I can be. I associate my pride with your perception of my quality of service.
I am a domestic service sub who enjoys serving a woman through household chores.
I live to provide service and cleaning your house the way you like is one service I can provide that will earn praise from you by your satisfaction.

Therefore, I must always strive to be ready, willing, and grateful to perform any (or all) household chores for you.

These chores may include sweeping floors or vacuuming carpets to your satisfaction; mopping floors the way you like; dusting and polishing furniture to meet your standards; making the bed the way you like it made; cleaning any clutter and putting it away where you say it belongs; washing and folding your clothing and linens the way you like them stored; ironing your clothing to your demanding specifications; scrubbing and cleaning your bathtub spotlessly;l scrubbing and cleaning your toilet as you wish; cleaning the kitchen and dining area the way you want; cooking and serving a simple dinner to your orders; setting the table how you like it; clearing the table and putting away the dishes as you wish; taking the trash outside as needed, and running all errands as directed, the way you like it done.
My favorite toys?

As always, the favorite toy should be whatever toy SHE likes me to use or that she likes to use on her, but, since this is a one-way journal, I'll assume I get to pick my favorite toy by way of explanation of my character.

First and foremost, it must be well made, of the proper materials (generally black leather and rubber, although red rubber balls work well in contrast to the stark black of the gear).

Secondly, the gear should perform as desired, for her pleasure.

That means the cock cage should be easy for HER to remove and replace, and for her to lock and unlock, all the while restricting and/or displaying my cock the way she likes it to be displayed. The face dildo should fit inside of her comfortably as much as it should fit securely in my mouth, obviating the need for me to converse and the leash attached to the neck collar should fit comfortably in her hands and be short enough to allow her to completely control my movements

The crop should fit well in her hands, and have the necessary heft and balance to fit the way she meets out corrective measures.

I'm interested in what toys YOU like your subs to wear or use for your pleasure.
Female led relationships are not about sex but about servitude and obedience.

However, what constitutes servitude and obedience seems to be different for everyone.

But one aspect for both, is that the woman knows how it should be done, or, more correctly, how she WANTS it done, and the submissive does it her way, or not at all.

The submissive LEARNS (after a few well chosen corrections, of course) how to give a soothing foot massage, or a relaxing leg wash and shave. The submissive learns how to make her tea properly. How to brush her hair. How to present himself to her, and even how to present himself to her friends, just the way she wants it.

He learns how to scrub the floors the way she wants. He learns how to do the dishes, how to sit as commanded, how to address her properly, and how to enter and exit in her presence.

To me, submission isn't about doing anything, but in learning how SHE wants it done.
Is there any power in a female led relationship WITHOUT the sexual dynamic?

In trying to better understand this kink of mine, I have trouble, in my mind, separating sexual from non sexual service.

Logically, I can see the difference, and certainly I am fulfilled by both - but - in my frenzy of ever present erotic desire, fueled by the brain-stupefying surges of testosterone, the drive for sexual-related teasing appears to far outstrip the pure service-oriented service.

Yet, the desire to please should be equal in both sexual and non-sexual roles.

Is this apparent contradiction something I will grow out of (or be trained out of)?
Or, is that epic battle of purpose the norm in all your female-led relationship?
The dominant female differs from a dominatrix as the power exchange is expanded to include all areas of the relationship, not just the sexual aspects.

I, as a devoted submissive, must separate myself from preconceived images of D/s and become a student of the needs, wants, and desires of you.

I must, at all times, avoid the mistake of thinking I already know how to submit, and instead spend all my effort on learning how to submit.
Some quotes to live by:
- If it makes you smile, I must do it again!
- Good things come to those who work hard at pleasing you.
- Chemistry is you touching my mind -- thereby sending my body into quivers.
- Sometimes you are pleased -- the rest of the time  I learn how to do it right.
- Even though I wear pants, you control the zipper.
- I supply the body -- you supply the pain.
A female led relationship is one in which it is agreed and acknowledged by both people that the woman has authority to control aspects of the relationship.

Aspects:
a. I want you to exert power over me if that is what you wish,
b. I want your interest level to be high and for you to make demands of me if you like,
c. I want you to control my sexuality, as I have a high interest in you and in every part of you and your body and in serving you as a woman, and I hope that pleases you.

Studying the concept of TREAT versus REWARD ...

What is a reward? Perhaps something promised for achieving something or doing something for someone?  Thinking about this, a reward is a known action for positive obedience. For example if she said, to me, "if you clean the bathroom well, and the dishes are spotless, I'll let you worship me tonight". That would, I think, be considered a reward.

A a true submissive, I am learning to understand you should never feel the need to oblige yourself to give a reward for service.  There should not be a quid pro quo for good behavior. Good behavior is simply expected. It's par for the course.

Contrast the concept of reward to a gift or treat.  A gift or treat is given voluntarily because one is feeling generous, perhaps especially happy, or maybe even a bit playful.  There is no implied contract with a gift or treat.  There is no promise of service, nor any further commitment associated.  Gifts and treats should never be expected or demanded, and they are certainly never earned!

As a direct result, treats , are very much appreciated, whenever given.
The power exchange dictates that I serve well and that’s the primary source of my pleasure.  As the submissive, I am not in a position to be demanding or expecting anything other than the ability to serve as well as I can, and to expect punishment and correction when I err.

At any time, you may treat me to a pat on the head or an appreciative comment –- because you enjoy making me happy. This is a relationship, after all. It's a treat, from you, to me, that you allow me to know when you are happy with my devoted service.

RULES TO LIVE BY:

I, as a devoted submissive, must separate myself from preconceived images of D/s and become a student of the needs, wants, and desires of you.

I must, at all times, avoid the mistake of thinking I already know how to submit, and instead spend all my effort on learning how to submit.
This innate driving desire to be desired is a real, legitimate desire, and something that, as a whole, men aren’t allowed to experience in our society, except under delicious fetish non-vanilla circumstances.
What I provide is whatever you feel is the value of selfless service, by pampering and catering to your needs and whims whenever the opportunity arises.

Allow me to bring you breakfast in bed.
Give permission for me to offer you a massage or foot rub after work.
Command me to perform household chores enthusiastically and without complaint.
Strap a face dildo on me and test me for an hour of unrelenting panting effort.
I have no need to speak, nor complain - but merely to please with good service.

I will always let you take the lead in the relationship and make decisions for both of us without fighting to take back control.  I will never treat you with disrespect or condescension. I will always try my very best to obey you without discussion. 

You shall be the center of my world and no other woman shall hold a candle to you when I find you and you allow me to worship and adore you as you deserve to be worshiped. I only hope that I may be able to keep up with your demands upon me, but I will try my best to please you and to earn a "that's a good boy" from you.
There are times when you just want what you want.  Period.

You don't need to explain nor justify.  That is the beauty of who you are and the requirement of service by me.   You tell me and I just do it, get it, fetch it, take it, savor it, suckle it, lap it, lick it, please it, kiss it, bite it, drink it, swallow it, fuck myself with it -- whatever it is you want.

I do it or I go away and don't bother coming back.
On improving oral performance .......

We have established that your needs are paramount. Your needs are everything. But, the question would remain: Do my needs matter?

I have a need to be of good oral service. Does that matter to you? In performing oral service, I have a need to please you well, or be punished until I finally do perform to your exacting standards? I have a need to practice and be focused on serving you and to be rewarded as a good boy when I do meet your exacting standards.

If I please or amuse you in any way, I have a need to be told that, and perhaps to be allowed to worship you as a direct result of my good service. At some point, I have an exhibitionist need to show off your training of me to amuse your friends, if that is something you also would find entertaining, but I would always do so as the context of being yours, where my performance is a direct reflection of your training of me.

Even when I'm being rewarded by being allowed to worship you, I have a need to please you in ways that cause intense pleasure for you.

Of course, like most men, I love pussy. I mean, I really LOVE pussy. I revere it. I crave it. And I'm prepared to serve it. Like most, I think I'm a great pussy licker (which is for you to judge), and, at least I abide by the golden rules of cunnilingus, which are, for me:

1. An eager love of everything pussy because it's a direct connection to your pleasure center
2. A willingness to take direction because I want so much to do a good job, as defined by you
3. Patience and tremendous endurance, where I should be whipped to spur me on when you need constant speed while I'm held back with the leash when you need soft patience.

Guiding me to pleasing your pussy is like guiding a horse to obey commands. Perhaps your signal to me is that you sit on the couch, legs spread, and hike up your skirt, saying "do your job now!". In commanding me to perform, you should love the combined feeling of power and pleasure when I am dutifully working my tongue or face dildo between your legs, perhaps my cock aching and pulsing for attention as it bounces against the floorboards ... but only your pussy is receiving the focus and attention. Sometimes you grab my hair and shove me full force up and down sloppily, while other times I'm pulled back by the hair to daintily lick with the tip of my tongue on your clit.

Luckily, my tongue has great stamina, and I approach pussy licking like I'm in it for the long haul. No hurry. Soft, relaxed. When you want me to speed up, you'll let me know, either with a sharp crack on my back or a shift in your position and a thrust of your hands in my hair.

I also must express my gratitude for being allowed to worship your pussy, and will do almost anything for that privilege to worship you in such a private and sensitive place. I still have much to learn, so I relish any practice you will allow me to become the best pussy licker you have ever owned the pleasure of!

In fact, the worst thing that I can be told, is that I don't deserve to worship your pussy.
What's the point in having a penis anyway?
Is the submissive penis an instrument to please the male that it is attached to, or is it merely a well designed tool to please a woman's mind and to focus his on her?
If the latter is the case, then it should be entirely up to the woman, that she own and control the sub's penis, and hence, she maintains the focus on her, as he realizes that his own selfish sexual desires are irrelevant to that fact of her ownership.
The beautiful thing is that it’s all your choice what you do with that penis, those balls, that cum, and his tremendously focused sexual energy, not his.
Am interested in FLR that fits you in real life, not in some fantasy found on the Internet.
Is your goal to mold me into your servant, object, pet, or slave?
Do you enjoys elements of BDSM that amuse you, such as being pleased when I assume a submissive position of your choice before you, perhaps naked, maybe wearing only a leather collar and a chastity device of your choosing, with the key firmly in your possession? Are you the female leader who places that leash on me and enjoys training me to obey your every word and to perform every household chore asked of me, else I should justly be punished to correct my ways? While I shall deserve the punishment, so that I learn the details of how to please you, I would hope to reap the rewards of praise after a job well done.
There is still much i need to learn about the important differences between serving and servicing and being serviced.
Some services I can offer you are ...
- Any and all housework, from scrubbing out the toilet to vacuuming the living room
- Making and serving snacks, tea, or breakfast in bed.
- Giving massages, facials, manicures, pedicures, or foot baths.
- Brushing out your hair, helping you to dress, including polishing your shoes.
- Carefully shaving your legs, armpits, and even pubic area, if you so desire.

My guiding principles will be:
1. Service to Mistress, as she desires
2. Respect for all Women
3. Obedience to Mistress
4. Submission to Her Female Authority
5. Female Body Worship
6. Faithful Training & Discipline
7. Enforced Male Chastity & Strict Orgasm Control
8. Strap-On Training, as she desires
9. Discomfiture & Humiliation, as she sees fit
10. Service to Mistress, as she desires

What is a submissive?

 A submissive is a person who makes a conscious choice to give up some or all control of her life to another person.
Dominance and submission is about a power exchange between two consenting adults. It is about the control within the dynamics of that relationship. Choosing to be submissive means to allow someone else to control your body and behaviour within the preset limits you have agreed upon. 

What does a submissive usually do?
A submissive does whatever her Dominant requires of him, within the boundaries already agreed upon. He serves her in whatever manner she wishes, for her pleasure and her comfort. Being there for her pleasure or amusement, is what is important.

I would like to be your very own personal tea server. I am wired for service, and I'm always helping people, and I'm also wired for pleasing others by doing domestic duties, and I'm a giver and not a taker. I also enjoy objectification, e.g., things like speech restriction while serving tea appeal to me, as I am simply a boy servant, so I have no need to talk or communicate on my own unless asked. Another big aspect for me is that, while I am fully bared to the guests' purview, the focus is not on me; the focus is entirely on the Ladies' pleasure, and I, as the submissive, am assumed to have no independent needs, desires or wishes of my own. I like the objectification where my sexual needs are completely irrelevant - my role, as the submissive, is simply as a servant. Not only would I like to be your very own personal tea server, but you'd be pleased with me. I'm very intelligent and a good follower, but also very technical, and, I enjoy finesse, because it's (a lot of) the little things that make up the right way to do a job. I am very good at learning how to do things the correct way, whether it's correct because of etiquette or because of custom or convenience. So, whether it's giving a foot massage or serving tea or fixing things around the house, I enjoy learning how to do things the right way, and I get excited about serving others in this type of safe and well planned pleasing environment focused on the Ladies' needs.

Allow me to worship you and obey your every command, in order to please you.

As a service oriented male, I would like to offer one deserving and appreciative lady in the Silicon Valley the sensual services of periodic:
1. Hand & foot massage
2. Hand & foot manicure
3. Shoulder and upper back massage
4. Indian head massage
5. Henna artistry
6. Japanese tea ceremonial service
7. Bathing & shaving of your legs
8. Whatever household service you enjoy training me to perform punctiliously
How we structure this devoted personal service would be up to us, and I will never ask for any sexual satisfaction from you.

It is not my place to dictate, but, to give you an idea of my goals and desires, allow me to elucidate just one possible scenario which I can easily envision, where my goals and yours are met. 

The service starts when I arrive promptly at the stated time to attentively follow your hand and verbal commands, as you see fit. At all times within your domain, I immediately assume the submissive position you have instructed me to assume, which is always one of your choice, as I await further instructions, head bowed, eyes averted to the floor, lips always parted (or unceremoniously plugged with a strap-on dildo gag, again, as you see fit).
Since this is, of necessity, a one-way communication, I shall, for the purpose of illumination, assume that you would have me specifically kneel at the threshold of your doorway, my eyes averted, head respectfully bowed, hands held behind me, perhaps stripped down to a symbolic bow tie, leather collar, and secure cock cage, or in whatever you see fit for me to wear, as you eagerly, yet patiently, await your upcoming pampering.

As always, while I am your chattel, the focus is on you and your pleasure, not on me nor on mine, where the ritual provides a structure for us to get into the right mind space.
Upon your curt command, I begin crawling toward you, as I wordlessly offer the prearranged service, impeccably delivered, where you admonish me as needed, so that I may conform to your needs and desires, doing things the way you like them done. Just as you may be at work, you are in control of overall slave management, and I am there as a means to please.
If necessary, especially in my early training period when I am learning your hand signals, you may use your crop on my bare body, to underscore your corrections, as needed, and I am to dutifully to obey.  I move and act at your command, just as I sit attentively, at your command.

Prior to service, you may inspect or examine your property as you see fit, perhaps instructing me to array myself in the kneel-down arms-akimbo knees-splayed out position to ensure I have arrived well groomed, impeccably clean, closely shaven, and nicely scented with your favorite cologne. No part of my body is private from my owner, who has full visual and tactile control of me while in scene.

If you are busy when I arrive, perhaps on the phone or relaxing while watching the television or finishing up that memo in your home office, you might wish to park me, as your footstool, until you are ready for your service appointment.

At all times, you may wish to re-position me for either improved service, prominent display, appropriate punishment, or simply for your preferred viewing pleasure.

When you utter the word, the desired service is performed as gracefully and attentively as humanly possible, whether it be domestic household chores, or mindful personal services.

When you have no further need of me, upon dismissal, I will respectfully kiss your feet in homage, awkwardly gather my clothes, and sheepishly crawl away, until I am out of your domain until such time that you are, again, in need of the devoted and respectful service and attention you deserve.
If this Dominant/submissive D/s dynamic appeals to you, and if you're local to the bay area, please let me know your interest. Also, please advise me as to what your likes and dislikes are, as I am always striving to improve my personal service in both the vanilla and kinky world.

Any and all instructional commands will be taken to heart, as this is who I am inside.
< I kiss your feet and beg of your leave >

Based on suggestions in the forum, I am learning how better to serve you with:
1. Hand and foot massage and manicure
2. Shoulder and upper back massage
3. Indian head massage
4. Henna artist.
5. Japanese tea ceremony

Hand and Foot Massage

Hand and Foot Manicure


Indian Head Massage


Video = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAxxeEYBD84



Henna Artist


Video = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVms9lmQGzM



Japanese Tea Ceremony


Video = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LOZe_FSl2o

Have you personaly ever been to a Ladies Tea Party (what was it like?)

I agree with their goals, and identify with their volunteers, as much as I can tell from the local web pages.
http://www.twistedteas.org/


http://www.geocities.ws/cfnm_party_house/



But, I don't see any parties on the upcoming calendar
http://soj.org/calendar/



Did the ladies' tea party society die?
Is it still going?
What's it like?

I've read everything already at the official ladies tea party web sites for my area, but I'd like to know what it's like (both flavors) from someone not advertising or marketing for the ladies tea party organization.
I just want a balanced view from someone who has been there.
Domestic duties ... house chores ...

In the mornings

  • Make coffee and breakfast and put the dishes in the dishwasher
  • Wash her legs in the shower
  • Make the bed

In the evenings

  • Put heating on and keep the room warm before she enters
  • Make dinner and set the table and get her a cup of tea or a glass of wine
  • Bus the table and do the dishes afterward

Weekends

  • Do laundry
  • Vacuum
  • Clean kitchen

After dates

  • Take off her boots for her
  • Clean her up
  • Hang up/put away her clothes for her