|
Well it's time for another journal entry. This time I want to talk about Thanksgiving. I had to work a 24 this year and didn't mind because then I wouldn't have to deal with another holiday without my grandmother. However, as usual, I was thrown a curve ball. My son ended up being extremely sick and ended up being admitted into the hospital. After x-rays, CT Scan, 9 sticks just to get an IV started and blood work....they still didn't know what was wrong. Finally, they figured it out, and he was released on Thanksgiving evening. So on Friday we all celebrated and I honestly had a different outlook. I am very thankful for my family and all my friends for calling, texting, and coming to the hospital. Just because I lost a very important person in my life, I can't stop living. There are more people here that I love and need!!! I hope each and everyone here had time with their loved ones and cherished the time they have with them.
|
|
|
|
|
 ITS TIME FOR A RANT.......QUIT MESSAGING ME IF ALL YOU WANT IS TO CYBER, PHONE, CAM, OR ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH SEX!!!! WHAT PART OF MY PROFILE ARE YOU NOT GETTING......I WANT MORE THAN ONE NIGHT FANTASY SEX WITH SOMEONE!!!!! IF THATS ALL THERE IS TO OFFER HERE, THAN I RATHER NEVER HAVE ANOTHER DOM AGAIN!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
SEEKING AGAIN..... That statement sounds so desperate. No better way of putting it though. I thought I had found what I was looking for. Still makes me wonder if He was the right One and we just didn't give it enough time to see. Guess we will never know. Hopefully the right One for me is out there. PLEASE dont message me unless you are serious. I work so many hours that I honestly don't want to waste your time and mine if you are just looking for a one-night cyber stand. I am honestly looking for a relationship. A Dom to please, to spend time with, to have real life meetings with. I need daily contact!!!! I need colors given everyday to wear. I need to feel special and know that I am wanted. I want to please! I just have to find a Dom who is patient and willing to teach me what it is He is wanting and needing from me.
|
|
|
|
|
"No woman truly knows what she is, until she has worn a collar." -Unknown
 I found this quote while surfing this morning and it made me think. I remember what it was like when I had a collar. There is no other way to describe it then....
"complete"
|
|
|
|
|
 The last few months has really opened my eyes. I have made a lot of mistakes but in the process I have learned so much about myself. I lost the most important person in my life, my grandmother, a year ago last month. I blamed myself over and over until I honestly stopped really living. Yes, I went to work and took care of my responsibilities but I quit doing everything I enjoyed and hid from everyone, especially myself. Within a couple months, I lost my Master of 6 years and my grandma. I was totally lost and alone. I decided that I would never be that close or dependent on anyone again as I was them. Maybe thats why I run when I even think Im getting close to someone. I honestly dont do it on purpose. I am not fickle nor do I intend to hurt people. I suppose because of my own insecurities and fear I pull away before they hurt me or leave me. I know I have to open up and learn to trust again. I can't keep living without emotion or feelings because Im scared to fall for someone again. |
|
|
|
|
 Another year older and obviously no wiser.... I still havent a clue what Im wanting and Im no closer to finding it then I was a couple months ago when I left D/s to work on other aspects of my life. I sometimes wonder if Im the only person out there confused and wandering around alone..... |
|
|
|
|
 Its funny how things change so quickly in our lives. The last couple months has been so challenging. I have been working a lot of hours and trying to decide what it is I want and desire from here and in my real life. For the moment, I have decided to take a break from D/s and concentrate on another area in my life. I will continue checking my mail occasionally and I still want to keep in contact with the friends I have made here. However, Im no longer seeking a Dom at this point and time. Hope you all find what it is you need and desire.......
Char |
|
|
|
|
 PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME UNTIL YOU HAVE READ MY PROFILE.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hello...Thanks for reading my profile. I'm in the process of rewriting it so please be patient. 
I have been here for quite a while now...I have met many new people and even made some friends. I suppose it's not meant to find what Im looking for here. Maybe its just me...Maybe Im too picky or maybe its just because I havent been open minded enough. I think my profile is too vague....so Im going to go into more detail so that I do not waste Dom's time and so that I dont continue being discouraged......