To all My friends on CollarMe and Potential Slaves

My profile has been compromised, So I have setup a new profile under the name of MiLadyofFlorida contact me there MiLady

Hello Everyone, I am up on My soap box and am so mad at those Dominants who think that just because they are Dominant they are higher than a slave. Or a slave is a lowly worm. Where does it say in the dictionary a slave is a piece of Sh*t. In BC and AD times people were taken by force or born into slavery and thus treated in most cases like they were lower humans.  Because most slaves came from a war/takeover, thus the winners were stronger and won the war and were thought of as superior. From the Wikipedia Encyclopedia --> Being a BDSM slave is when there is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to the Other (the Dominant) ultimate authority over them. This is on a consensual basis, without legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery which is forbidden by law in most countries. <-- From the Wikipedia Encyclopedia Sounds like two equal human beings making a decision for One to be in control and one to serve.  Maybe I need glasses but there is no lower than a worm in this definition.  Now, you may disagree but, My belief of a true BDSM slave hood relationship, the submissive/slave gives freely the gift of service to the Dominant/Owner.  Being in Control and taking full responsibility of the slave’s life is what the Dominant/Owner does for the slave.  Of course there are tweaks as to how the slave serves the Owner’s whims.  There are in many cases a contract and rules, modes, protocols but it is still two humans of equal intelligence signing the contract or making the verbal agreement.  So to Me all those dominants who think they are superior just because they are dominants or that slaves are lowly worms or pieces of Sh*t, that way of thinking makes those dominants become the ones with the inferior intelligence. MiLady

Hello Everyone,   I am contacted a lot by many male creatures who wish to become My slave.  There are just as many male creatures as well as Dominants that have had bad experiences with players, and wantabes on both sides.  What I have found is many bring the baggage of the bad experience with them.  And in doing so, bring a false trust to the beginning of the relationship.  That is a big NO, NO and the relationship will never grow, and develop into a unique BDSM Lifestyle.  What a Mistress did to you is in the past and a new Mistress is very different.  Her wants and needs may be totally the opposite, but one this is for sure Every Mistress is in control and it is up to Her to find out just how devoted to this lifestyle the male creature is…..I have been amazed and happily surprised by the male creatures who have read My profile and address Me correctly and one who has even been following My journals for over a year.  Does put your faith back in CollarMe but just take your time, get to know the people on this site and weed out the undesirables on both sides…… We A/all have a wonderful New Year ahead of U/us and I for one look forward in a positive way in finding the right slave for Me. MiLady

Hi evey1

Going out to Dungeon xmas Party tonight wearing My new leather corset.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through my home,

Not a creature was stirring as I sat on my thrown.

My slave was hung in the dungeon with care,

Shivering with anticipation that I soon would be there.

his ball stretcher was tight and he was turning a bit red,

As visions of erotic pain streamed threw his head.

I in My leather corset with My best flogger in hand,

I Had just finished thinking of a devilish session play plan.

When out of the dungeon there arose such a clatter,

I ran down the stairs to see what was the matter.

Away to the dungeon I flew like the wind,

Unlocked the door and peered within.

The light in the dungeon was dim and low,

It took me a moment before I did know.

But what did my evil eyes see,

My slave all horny and hard grinning at Me.

With his 6 pack abs and a hard cock that looked so sweet,

I knew that very moment, he had to be beat.

Again and Again My flogger swung around,

As I hit his flesh he made the sweetest little whimpering sound.

Oh Mistress, Oh Mistress he said with eyes to the floor,

Oh Mistress Oh Mistress I just can't take any More...

Happy Holidays,

MiLady

Hello Every1,

I shake My head sometimes,  I have been emailing and talking by phone to a very good potential slave, he had some medical issues which lead to an knee operation but as soon as he was sure it was on the mend and felt he could serve Me he contacted Me and was to arrive the 15^th of Jan,  2013.  I even put on My profile that russel was under consideration pending his face to face.   Guess what  he has withdrawn.  Here is his email.  To: msLionNess LionNess Sent: Monday, December 17, 2012 9:53 AM
Subject: change of heart .....Dear MiLady, i must tell you of a life-changing happening this past week end .i have re-connected with a very....very special person from my past, in fact she was my first love(high school sweetheart).we have spent most of this past weekend getting to know each other again. we are planning to be together from now on.

please forgive me, but this just feels the direction i should take in my life at this time .i will be deleting my account on collarme, and living a more vanilla type of life. i must say i will miss our conversations, and the possibility of serving you, but my heart is leading me in a new direction at this time. i hope you will find a suitable slave for yourself and the house of pride.

please be happy in all that you choose to do forever...and ever, it has been a great pleasure for me to know you and Sir Wayne and slave kate, please take care and most of all be happy!!!!

sincerely yours

Russell

So another one bites the dust at least he did not just disappear.  Though I was thrown for a loop I wish him well first loves are wonderful and I hope his vanilla life works out, but the vanilla life is not fir Me.

HMMMMM I would  sy The slave’s heart he said he had  well he just proved he did  not  truly have that in his heart. A true slave would nevr be happy in a vanilla life. And I most defiantly do not want someone who does not wish t be a slave........All who I have read My profile and saw I had someone under consideration pending his face to face LET IT BE KNOWN The interviews for TPE slave continues and there is no one Under consideration as of Dec 17,2012 What a hell of a Christmas Present....MiLady

Afew people asked Me how I go about training some one before I even Meet him face to face.........Training a slave, first off,  I feel if you are interviewing a male creature to be your slave whether he lives down the road or 900 miles away when You tell him to do things, then You must trust he is doing them otherwise there will be no M/s  relationship development............I do believe you can get a pretty good idea of what is a priority in a potential slave’s life with the right requests.  If the male creature is fast and answers emails in a relative timely manner, If the male creature calls when he has been given a mandatory time to call.  Or if he sends his journals to you  every day.  Then I feel he is proving he is putting his best foot forward in trying to impress his possible future Mistress.   The wording in his response emails can impress a future Owner though there are a few silver tongue foxes out in cyber space.  I am not one to have a male creature do things to himself in front of a cameras, so I can be sure he is doing what I say.  Geez have some trust or move on besides it is no turn on for this Mistress to see a male creature on cam, only face to face for Me............Now once a slave is in My presence I do not hand him a handful of papers to memorize … I usually have given him codes, modes to be familiar with, and an Oath to Memorize.  I may have him start shaving  certain parts of his body and have him only sit to pea, but even these things you must have trust he is doing what you say.  When he is standing in front of you with his first face to face I try to remember If you just tell the make creature,  he may forget,  If you show the male creature, he may remember, but if you involve the male creature  he will understand!  An Owner’s  technique shows She knows what she is doing and She wishes the male creature to become the best slave for Her that he can be.....Hope this answers your questions......MiLady

Hi Everyone,

 Just for back from a wonderful venders event at the Woodshed bought some cute toys and some new corsetts  New pic soon

MiLady

Well dear friends it has happened…. I have been chatting with a sub/slave for almost a year.  He could not become a slave for he had some medical problems which an  operation was needed on his knee.  But W/we kept in touch by email collarMe and phone.  It was always a delight to hear from him and a real friendship bond developed,  He has his health back and will be coming down in January 2013 if all goes well which I feel it will then male creature russell shall become My slave as of now he is under consideration.

MiLady

Hello Everyone,

I have been chatting with Many Mistresses looking for their slave and in our discussions I have found Many have said there are just fakes, wannabes and players on these sites.  I have found most are real people but they have their Own ideas about what being a slave is.  Some just want to be a sex slave and not a slave 24/7 some just wish to be a domestic slave and just cook and clean house, some wish to be pain sluts and are masochist.  Some wish to be treated pardon Me but treated like Sh*t and they feel they are no better than a worm.  Some want TPE and feel they need it to complete their life but I find most are really scared to take that first step into slave hood.  They get scared off or they really can’t relocate no matter what their profile states.  Many have not gotten their ducks in order if chosen for they are in a home with a mortgage afraid to rent it out or they have a job and can’t retire for 2 years or and I must laugh in amazement for some are still married or in a divorce and fighting for custody. Now I am not giving excuses but, A submissive is just that a submissive and they do not think like a dominate, they get scared off way to easy if the future Owner is honest with what They want in a slave or if the future Owner is trying to really make the slave think and be sure this slave hood is right for them then the Owner is taking too long and is a fake.  So subs who wish to be slaves and slaves who wish to be Owned make sure your ready to take that step if you find someone who you feel you trust and  is the type of Owner you would be proud to serve then take the plunge take the risk it make be well worth a lifetime of contentment.  If someone who wants to be a airplane pilot never gets in the cockpit how will he know this is the life for him same with slave hood.

I am getting off My soap box

MiLady

Hi EVEryone,

Have voted hope you do the same

MiLady

Have a Happy and Goulas  Halloween !!!!    MiLady

Hi Every1, just a few words on slavery…..There have been many a male creature on here who fanaticized about slavery only to find it really wasn’t what they envisioned.  AAAaaah Slavery, the mere word makes My heart skip a beat.  Why, you may ask, well I am not going to define slavery because I feel it is not just a highly structured contract or a bunch of codes, but it is defined by the people within the relationship. The yin and yang between the two, and I feel you must get to know each other to see if there is a click, a fit, and some type of chemistry in other words charisma between the two within this BDSM relationship. Once that is established the potential slave starts his voluntary servitude.  Watching a potential slave begin to surrender himself to My dominating Will is a marvelous feeling.   The beginning of true trust of putting one’s life into dominant’s hand is quite spectacular.  As for Me being a sadist, yes I inflict pain, but I also give the person receiving pain pleasure. Yes I give pain but I do not give harm. Regards, MiLady

Hello Everyone,
In the Last week My belief and trust in male creatures has been shaken to the bone. This male creature only wanted to be a weekend slave, when I told him this is not what I am seeking. He asked Me if I knew of someone who Might wish a weekend slave. I contacted a great potential weekend Owner, who I felt would be a good match. To My amazement I found out this so called weekend slave had been in service with another Mistress on weekends for over 2 years. And to boot I found out I knew this Mistress. Whenever I am shaken and wish to just give up on male creatures all together I get My thinking cap on and take things step by step and go back to the basics I have been thinking about TRUST. It has led Me to write down some thoughts on Trust and Trustworthiness     Just as there are degrees of trust, there are degrees of confidence, quit scratching your head and read on. Let this sink in, Remember the little story of the Little train who said I think I can.... Well this is more like a BDSM story of the following degrees of confidence….. I think I can, Maybe I can, This is possible, I know I can, I am sure I can and I am certain I can. So in a M/s relationship the greater degree of confidence you have (or trust you have) in your Owner the more the slave will give to the Owner, the more you trust or have confidence in the Owner the more the Owner can do to the slave in a play session or another way of putting it, the more the slave has confidence in the Owner the more freedoms a slave is willing to lay at their Owners feet. I do not know about the rest of you Dominants but this is what I live for, to have a slave lay his freedoms one at a time at My feet, this does not happen overnight. And sometime the Owner needs to train the slave to be able to lay these freedoms at Her feet. When it happens it is one of the best feelings in the world. I call it Psychological Orgasm! Author Jack Rinella states, and I quote “complementing trust is surrender. The more you feel you can trust the Owner, the more deeply you will surrender to the Owner, to the scene or to the relationship in general”. How do you get the slave to trust, Well I’m not going to tell everyone My secretes, but patience, communication and more patience does help. Teaching the slave how to let go of his freedoms is another, Putting yourself in the male creatures place, try to understand these freedoms have been with the male creature for a lot longer than you as an Owner have been in his life. And remember everyone has baggage of their past they must work through, Even Dominants.
Thanks for Listening,
MiLady

Hello Every1

Issac storm has passed all A ok

MiLady

Hello everyone,

 I may not be on line until  after  Tuesday there is a Hurricane which May make us have to leave our town home which is 2 blocks from the Gulf of Mexico

MiLady

I would like to share some thoughts on slaves and Owners some will agree some will not and that’s ok with Me.           Many slaves have impractical thoughts that  male or female Owners are like “Knights in Shining Armor”  I feel any slave setting out to find such a fantasy “Knight” in an Owner will fall into a cavern of disappointment.        Note Owners are not “Knights in shining Armor” but an true Owner becomes  a slave’s God/Goddess!           It has been said a slave who Seeks a KISA (Knight In Shining Armor) is feeding off a selfish  ego-stroking yearning, which will sooner or later lead a slave away from unconditional surrender.  Dreams about having  a KISA is really all about the slave.  Now before you go off half cocked read on…           If a slave expects the loving sweet protection of a Knight then the slave is elevated onto a pedestal and is being courted like one is having a vanilla relationship and spoiled by the Knight.  And the slave might even begin to expect a romantic lover’s relationship.  Thus having silly notions whether conscious or subconscious of what real commitment of submission  and Obedience of true slavery is.          If you want to be a true slave, you unconditionally serve an Owner/God,  As a slave, you must first release your ego and become self-sacrificing,  devoting your life to your Owner/God’s wants and needs.  A slave’s only existence is to serve and please its Owner/God.   A slave should not expect to set conditions or expectations on your Owner/God.  A God or Goddess is worshipped for being a God.          A slave has no right to expect LOVE in return for your slavery, slaves should expect that the Owner/Goddess will do as He/She pleases and as a slave you have no right to dictate any part of your slavery, or your thoughts or deeds.  I feel unless a slave can let go of its ego and selfishness with unconditional surrender a slave will not begin to find true freedom, ecstasy and happiness in it’s slavery.  So,  male slaves Worship your Owner for She is your God

Wishing all a very wonderful 4th of July.  And a wonderful thank you for the concern during the tropical storm  all is weel here in New Port Richey some flooding but not where I live and Im about 3 blocks from the Gulf of Mexico.

MiLady

Just a little thought from MiLady this Memorial Weekend: If you want someone who will bring you the paper so you can read it first, then find a TPE slave If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you: then find a TPE slave . If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother made it: then find a TPE slave. If you want someone always willing to go out at any hour wherever you want: then find a TPE slave. If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors: then find a TPE slave. If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about what he watches as long as it is something his Owner loves, or can sit next to you and watch a romantic movie: then find a TPE slave. If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm kiss your feet and give you a great massage not to mention be trained in the art of Pussy feet or body worship: then find a TPE slave. If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, one who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually: then find a TPE slave.  But on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the bathroom, tries to top from the bottom or feels he is never wrong, wants it his way, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness; then my friend, get a part time sub or do Me slave.    This was taken from the joke of a day about the difference between dogs and cats but I tweaked it for My own BDSM outlook on part time subs, do me slaves and TPE slaves MiLady

Ok I have not written anything in a while but it’s not to say I haven’t felt like it. Over and Over again I get beautiful and I mean beautiful 40 r old male creatures who have on their profile they are slaves. But they are searching for kinky sex partners in the bedroom who will take chargein the bed room for the so called slave has a tense dominant job where when they get home they do not want to make any decisions at all.  Well you fellas need to understand there is more to slave hood than just kinky sex (not that kinky sex is not without it’s wonderful fun)  To Me I feel you more of a sub than a slave.  Then I get from a so called slave a list of do Me slave items …..like they want to do Queening or foot worship or humiliation and their limits are a list long.  Come on fellas let’s be real here a sub is very different from a slave.  A slave never says NO he’s limits are his Owners limits and he is there to please serve and love to do anything of service. In My profile it states I seek a  24/7 TPE slave though you can work but when with Me living in My household it is all about Me not what the slave wants though the slave may be rewarded by doing or giving permission for something the slave really loves to do.  But only if the slave’s Owner is into it.  So bois do not try to manipulate for it’s My way or the high way.

MiLady

Hi everyone,

Just a little something I saw  author unknown but it fits My way of thinking.

50 Reasons why  you should want to be a slave in MiLady's Poly family.

1. To please Me

2. To service all My sexual desires

3. To make Me proud

4. To provide Me with emotional support

5. To learn how to relinquish all control to Me

6. To understand what I want and to provide it for Me

7. To share completely in My life.

8. To thank Me for choosing you as My slave.

9. To show Me that I am the most important thing in your slave’s life

10. To show your gratitude for My love.

11. To show your gratitude for My kindness.

12. To show your gratitude to this Mistress for knowing what is best for you.

13. To show how much you trust Me.

14. To learn patience.

15. To learn to trust and move past your insecurities.

16. To show how proud you are to belong to such a wonderful Mistress.

17. To learn to anticipate My needs and provide them without being asked.

18. To show Me the extent of your desires for Me.

19. To show your appreciation for My willingness to Mentor you.

20. To show appreciation for you to be able to fulfill your need to serve.

21. To show Me that you recognize the sacrifices of time and My talent in training you as My slave.

22. To help relieve My stress

23. To show that you can give Me a clean organized house to come home to after I have been gone all day.

24. To show Me that you respect Me as your Mistress, companion and Friend.

25. To give Me peace of mind when things around Me are chaotic.

26. To provide Me with comfort and understanding.

27. To provide Me with humor when I am sad.

28. To share in My dreams.

29. To grow O/our relationship beyond duty and service.

30. To learn to experience total submission when your Mistress is in need to be in control.

31. To learn to love more deeply.

32. To understand that you can be a strong, independent person without being in control.

33. To take responsibility for the day to day chores so that I can feel pampered.

34. To learn to be graceful and respectful to Me at all times.

35. To learn how to put your wants aside to fulfill your Mistress’ needs first.

36. To ignite My passion by handling the pain I love to inflict.

37. To allow your Mistress to stretch your limits.

38. To show how completely devoted you are to only this Mistress.

39. To prove that you are worthy of My love

40. To prove that you are willing to try to fill all My needs and desires.

41. To bring Me laughter

42. To give Me your heart, mind, body and soul with complete confidence and trust knowing that I will never intentually hurt me.

43. To give Me your support for all the decisions I must make in order to train you to become the best slave you can be.

44. To help relieve any burdens I may carry by having you as a slave in My house hold.

45. To offer your opinions, suggestions and help when I am faced with a dilemma even though your Mistress’ decision is final.

46. To help create a life- long relationship built on trust, respect, and a deep knowledge of My needs and desires.

47. To fulfill My fantasies.

48. To become more than just My slave, but to become My every desire as a person, a domestic slave, pain slut or bitch boy.

49. To earn the right to be – My one and only slave

50. To show that you are the one slave I have been searching for. The one person I want to bring into My Poly family and a life with. The one slave who I can trust to always put Me first and to never disrespect, dishonor or disobey this Mistress. In other words not only to have a slave wear a chain around his neck proudly but around his slave’s heart also.

Hi everyone,

Just a bit busy this Easter weekend  so I will not be on much

MiLady

Submissives, potential slaves,

I am not a high strung Lady who yells a lot and I don’t even think there are a lot of Owners who think as I do, so do not write this down and say all Mistresses feel or think this way.  These are My thoughts take them for what they are worth to you.

Step back for a moment all of you potential sub/slaves.  Let’s say you are strong enough in your character to contact a Mistress here on collarMe.  And you do not just say hi Ma`am (which is a no, no but I will get to that another day)  you are one of the few who reads the woman's profile and not just look at the pic and both the pic and the profile you are drawn to, She sounds strong and you wish to submit to Her. You two chat, email, talk on the phone.  She sets up certain things for you to do, She sends you her codes or rules to read to discuss with Her.  She then has you call on certain days and a certain time of the day or evening or to be there when She sets up a time for Her to call you.  And you do not call or you are not there when she calls.  What do you think that shows Her  Hmmmmm Well in My book it shows where your priorities lie.  To Me it shows Being someone’s slave or sub is a game, you are not good slave material.  If a sub/slave cannot even be there to talk  or there has been days that go by before you answer the possible future Owner’s  email hmmmm that’s not a good way to show devotion or that you are even ready to serve.  If you fellas really wish to outshine the others fellas who are bidding for the position of slave then you best show your devotion and need to do what your possible future Owner wants you to do.  When this Mistress tells you to do something She has a reason for I either wish to see your reaction or willingness to please Me or am teaching you how to begin to give up vanilla freedoms...

MiLady

To those who contact Me....Final 4 college Basketball has begun I will  pop in from time to time but basketball will be My first priority !!! So be patient

MiLady

Hi Everyone,

     I have just gotten off the phone with a lady who is a submissive wife to her husband Dom.  She said she and her husband had met submissives from Munches and brought them into their home only to find the submissives did not care anything about the relationship she and her husband have.  HMMMMMMM  I am not a submissive but I am a dominant, who is married to a dominant and have had slaves for both of Us in Our leather family.  There were many many discussions in what Our slaves would mean to Us and where they would belong in Our relationship so here are some thoughts.

     My first question is; did you a submissive wife and your Dom husband sit down and discuss  why there would be more than one submissive in your family?  Or did your Dom husband just say this is what he wanted with no discussion? Without this communication there can be some very inferior feelings like aren’t I good enough of a submissive for you…. What am I doing wrong to make you want another submissive?   None of these may be the reason, for you as a submissive may be the perfect submissive and you Dom husband may just want another to train control and stretch their physical or mental limits.  But Both of you first must be very strong in your relationship to add anyone to your leather family.  

     My second question is one I am sure I will get some flack from a few Owners, so I apologize beforehand if I offend any male or female Owners:  We as dominates are all just a bit self centered and want things Our way and sometimes We do not stop to think what is best for Our slaves/subs.  If you have a sub/slave who is insecure with her/his relationship with You then getting a second sub/slave will not bring her/him any self esteem.  First the sub/slave must be taught they are never going to be let go or that you are in any way disappointed in their performance as Your slave/sub.

     And thirdly this is a statement and do take heed to it…. Many a new sub/slave feel they could try and take the place of the alpha slave/sub, You as a Owner must nip that in the bud for both parties to be able to get along and for your Poly family to blossom and grow in love, respect and loyalty.  These are just My thoughts and if you disagree that is perfectly fine too.

Thanks for reading,

MiLady

A symbiotic Relationship is what one slave said he wanted with this Mistress   HMMMMMMMMM … When you think of the definition; "a relationship between 2 entities which is mutually beneficial for the participants of the relationship".  Think about it the slave gets to serve and the Owner get to receive the service.  But let’s take it one step more…. In biology it is commonly used to explain the relationship between two entities that need each other to survive and prosper.  Like the bumble bee and a flower, the bumble bee extracts the flower’s pollen for protein and its nectar for energy at the same time the bumble bee brushes the pollen from one flower to another thus ensuring the flowers’ reproduction process to begin.  The bumble bee needs the flower to survive; the flower needs the bumble bee to survive.  Same in a TPE slave and Owner,  if an Owner is honest then they are happiest when they are in control of a slave’s life and if a slave is a true slave at heart then the slave is in total bliss when he serves and makes his Owner happy.

MiLady

Hi Everyone,  Just came across this when cleaning out some files thought it was worth putting in My journal: A dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. but to rule requires  understanding, and understanding requires humility.  A dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity and dignity requires humility..A dominant commands respect, but never fear, but respect requires serenity and serenity requires humility. A dominant employs strength, but never force, but strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility. A dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.  A dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.  A dominant completes, but never tries to alter, but to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.     Author unknown

I am so excited My husband’s slave has worked out very well and there will be a collaring ceremony here Saturday the 21st,   Good food good BDSM friends and a great evening will be had by all!!!  Will post pic of ceremony

MiLady

To all you sub/slaves out there remember being a submissive is not all about whips, cages, withholding release and punishment. It is about giving yourself through service to the Owner… for Her pleasure.  Your needs wants, fantasies, desires and weaknesses are not in play… only the desire to serve.  I quote from the book Uniquely Rika  

 “True submission is not about what the dominant person does TO the submissive person.  It is all about what the submissive person does FOR the dominant."

MiLady

Merry Xmas to all !!!

MiLady

Hi Every1,   I was contacted by sub john today, he was not appling for the position of slave, but to thank Me for the time I have taken to explain My thoughts and beliefs about this wonderful BDSM lifestyle.  He said he had been in the lifestyle for 13 years and never had been told what his service meant to 2 Mistresses he was lucky enough to serve. He said he was going to do some soul searching and let walls drop slowly.  Well all I can say is even Mistresses have walls build up because of experiences of the past.  And any Mistress who says they do not love their slave is a liar, I have never written about My slave being released. But I know when I released My slave it tore Me apart and a wall went up.  I think I let the wall go up because I Never wish to be hurt again, even though the slave never meant to hurt Me. So I think it is time for Me to write about what it feels like when a Mistress releases Her slave.  Many times it is because one or the other party in a M/s relationship are not receiving what they need out of the M/s relationship.  This is not the case.  My boi toy was the best slave in the world for Me.  So devoted he would beg Me to have him tattooed with My symbol upon his flesh.  He always put My happiness above everything, because My happiness was his happiness!!!  When his father died his mother was left alone with a business she had no idea how to run.  But you guessed it her son My slave did.  He was not going to leave Me He had chosen to be with Me forever, but I had to ask Myself was that the right thing to do?  Oh, at first I was a selfish Bitch thinking he was mine and I would never let him go but there was that question “Is that the right thing to do”?  He begged Me not to release him but his mother was not strong like I am, so I released My beloved boi toy and I will tell you it felt for months like part of Me had died.  Yes most Mistresses are strong and controlling and you would think they had no feelings but We too have heart that can get hurt and walls that go up. 

MiLady’s letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good Dominate even though I am a Sadistic Bitch.  I have welcomed My husband’s new female slave into Our leather family without a hitch.  she is a wonderful addition to The house of Pride So Santa here is a bribe, I will leave out milk and cookies if you please if only you’ll bring Me a male slave on Christmas Eve!

Make sure this slave is willing to take My pain and have him not too thin for I do like a bit of padding for the flogging I would begin!  A slave must be full of Devotion and have the love of service branded in his Mine.  Needing his life to be fully controlled and giving his freedoms to this Mistress who though sadistic she can be just and kind.  What size of his cock makes no difference to Me as long as his snake is caged and I have the key.  So dash away Santa and make your search near and far

Find Me a slave to train to become My bitch boi, pain slut star !

Hello Every1,

My husband’s slave kate has arrived and is working out wonderfuly she was collared by Wayne and by the 20 of December she will have all of her personal belongings here.  Wayne is so happy and so am I,  she is a real delight.  Now to find a slave to commit to Me like kate has to Wayne then O/our leather family will be complete!!!

MiLady

To those who may wonder why MiLady is not on line for a few day it is because she was in a a car  accident She is ok but just very sore.

MiLady's friend  Pat

Hi everyone,

Been off collar Me for a few weeks with a relative’s serious illness and demise … Give Me a few days to get My head back together.  I shall answer all messages.

MiLady

Hi All

     I was asked today, How do I train a slave … I think there is no easy 1, 2, 3, and poof you have a slave. As I see it training is a way to learn something.  A slave must be willing to learn.  You, Owners may have found the perfect slave,  but there is not a slave alive that has or is willing to give up all their vanilla freedoms at once.  It is not in the human frame of mind to just say ok I’m a slave I give everything to their Owner.   It takes training, training and more training then and only then can the slave slowly, gradually allow themselves to gladly give their freedoms to their Owner.  Sometimes without the slave even realizing it, In order for a slave to learn they must understand what it is the Owner expects.  Set up goals for a slave to accomplish let’s say in a certain period of time. Just be sure you do not give too many goals at once and too short of a time to have the goals accomplished by the slave. When they accomplish the goals, reward the slave, praise the slave just like you would a child or a puppy.

     One thing I do is give training collars as rewards ….some Owners give tattoos to mark the slave’s degree of accomplishment.  And believe Me the slaves wear their tattoos and collars proudly.

     Just remember one thing Owners, a slave is time consuming if you don’t take the time to train slowly your slave won’t be worth a dime. 

     I like and use the old saying  Tell me and I forget, show me and I remember , but involve me and I will understand.  As an Owner you must involve your slave as well as yourself in their training, so the slave will become the Best slave they can be….an untrained slave is just like  bad acting children, both are the reflection of their Owner or parents.

MiLady

I have been asked by a friend to explain My statement though I am a Mistress, I am also a "Sadistic Lover of Pain"  So here is what I wrote to him:

I am a "Sadistic Lover of Pain"…. This may sound sick and if so … so be it…

A fireman respects and also loves the Mistress of fire he fights every time there is a call. The fireman loves how Fire burns slow and then builds till it becomes a raging inferno....The firemen also loves to be in control of the fire until he puts Her out!

I also have this type of respect and love relation with Pain…

To see someone wince at the sting of the paddle or flogger or to see the forming of a bruise, a whelp or redness of the flesh is a real excitement for this sadistic bitch. I also have respect for what Pain can do to the receiver. To have one submit completely to My Pain lust, willing and begging for more or to take anything I can dish out is real delight for Me. Now do not get Me wrong I love to take the soft side of the paddle or a flogger made up of fake fur, to relax and calm the person down, but this softness can be a teaser of pain to come and then I hopefully press on to a higher degree of his pain threshold.  Now, to be in total control with a look or My presence orI use My voice to have him  to breath correctly and to urge him to handle more. When I urge him to handle More I become the seducer for the Pain. It doesn’t matter if he can take a lot or a little, but to be willing to press on for My Pleasure is unique!!!! When I have a hold of someone’s life in My hand and they are willing to totally submit to any type of pain, humiliation or rules… When they are willing to try new bad pain toys or electric play or fire, it is gratifying, but even more when they turn all Vanilla freedoms over to Me including the fear of pain, when they do this because My pleasure comes before their fears, then I am well satisfied sadistic lover of pain.

Hope that explains “Sadistic Lover of Pain” I respect Pain and love Her all in one.

Regards,

MiLady

Saturday I'm off to the New Port Richey Munch....topic to show and tell your favorite toys.

Have a good weekend all ya boi toys.

MiLady

    To sub/slave and Owners here are some of mine and some of other Owners training techniques to help a sib/slave become a good pain slut!!! Enjoy

    Patterned breathing simply means breathing at any number of possible rates and depths. Some pain sluts prefer breathing deeply, using their diaphragm to fill their abdomen with air. Others prefer light breathing, inhaling just enough to fill their chest. The goal is for you to find breathing patterns that calm and relax you. Your breathing should be at a comfortable rate and not cause you to feel short of breath or light-headed. The more you learn about pain and what is the best way for you to relax with it, the more you will be able to handle more and more pain for your Owner.

      As the slave/sub you will learn to use breathing to focus on each stroke of your Owners toy this is called Patterned breathing is helpful when experiencing various types of pain, discomfort, anxiety or fear.  Patterned breathing is used in natural child birth, if breathing  can help in delivering a 7 to10 pound baby it most certainly can  help with a BDSM pain session and May allow you to reach subspace.

Here are some Benefits to practicing patterned breathing

• Breathing becomes an automatic response to pain
• A slave/sub remains in a more relaxed state and will respond more positively to pain
• The steady rhythm of breathing is calming during a pain session
• Provides more oxygen, which provides more strength and energy for the slave/sub
• Patterned breathing and relaxation become habits for life’s every day stress
• May help a sub/slave achieve subspace

     There are many ways to practice patterned breathing you may think this is crazy but try it. Traffic jams, headaches, and household chores provide opportunities to practice different breathing techniques and make them part of your routine. To simulate pain, try holding an ice cube in your hand to practice effective breathing techniques during momentary pain.

     At the beginning of a pain session remember to take a deep relaxing breath. This will help you focus, but it will also provide more oxygen to every muscle in your body.
      Start your breathing before the pain is first inflicted… do not wait till it becomes intense enough that you need to use a safe word. Use slow breathing for as long as you find it helps you. If you become tense and can no longer relax during the play session use your safe words like yellow meaning it is very intense, but you just need to have a moment to relax….your Owner should be able to read your reactions and pause to allow you to relax and regroup before the yellow safe word would be used and most definitely before the red safe word is used.

1.) Take an deep breath—a big sigh before the pain session begins, learn to relax as you are being put into bondage IE cuffs or ropes. Release all tension (go limp all over—head to toe) as you breathe out.
2.) Focus your attention on pleasing your Owner, this is a service you are willing to give to your Owner
3.) Slowly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth, allowing all the air to flow out with a sigh. Pause until the air seems to “want” to come in again.
4.) With each exhale, focus on relaxing a different part of your body

     Relaxing the body, if you are lucky to have an Owner who is willing to work with you on the technique of muscle relaxation by the Owners touch or voice then your muscle relaxation will be easier but you can start on your own.  First, many times you have heard the words “mind over matter” A pain session certainly proves that the mind is one of the most effective pain-fighting tools available.  Otherwise slave/subs and even Owners could not achieve sub-space.  The more a sub/slave focuses on the pain, the more pain they will feel. Hypnotism, visualization and imagery are all methods which have been used for pain relief. The following are ways you can use your mental energy to focus on bringing your Owner more pleasure as He/She inflicts pain.

     Quick body scan: Scan your body from head to toe to notice any tension and then release the tension with Progressive relaxation: Begin by tightening, then relaxing the muscles of your head and face. Then tighten and release the muscles down back or your neck, across your shoulders and arm, down your chest, abdomen and back, all the way down your legs to your toes. Breath slowly, releasing more and more with each exhalation. Each time you release a muscle, concentrate on the positioning of that muscle and on the feeling of complete relaxation. It may help to think of a comforting touch smoothing gently from your brow, up into your hair, over the top of your head and down your body.

     Visual Imagery: Imagine a relaxing place—a sunny beach, a fireside, resting near a bubbling brook, or looking out on a pristine lake surrounded by mountains. Use some pictures from favorite vacation spots to help you. All these help relax you muscles and may get up to subspace.

     Now, for the Owners, yes it takes time to have your very Own painslut and your responsibility to help the slave/sub become the best little pain slut they can become… Have Patience Owners, No one was born loving pain at least I have not met a sub/slave who loved pain when they first were flogged, and whipped But they did it because they wished to please their Owner so keep that in mind they do this for YOU!!! Here are ways I as an Owner help:

Use the senses:

     Sight has an impact so Owners focus on creating a relaxing environment. Soft lighting, lamps, or scented candles will bring feelings of safety, tranquility, and warmth. This will also minimize distractions.

     Sound, yes Music has the ability to move you to dance or lull you to sleep… Music can help a sub relax and if the same music is used each time there is a pain session the sub can be ready for the intensity to build upon the Music… in some cases the sub/slave will be able to relax before the owner changes the tempo.  I use the Butt Boy BDSM music

     Smell, believe it or not certain smells can have a certain calming effect.  As a Mistress I use My favorite perfume when I get close to the sub/slave and whisper for him to relax he gets a whiff of My sent. Which brings Me to

     Touch…. Yes the sub is getting touched royally by the toy but stop take your hand stroke the inflamed area of body or take a soft side of the paddle or toy just to let the sub/slave regroup and relax.

     These are all things for training of a pain session Now for punishment never allow the slave/sub to relax or slide into subspace HOW make him count, make him say thank you, make him stay tense by not letting up…. Surprise the sub/slave make him state he will not do_____ again and make him repeat it and of course be the bitch that We are known to be lol WEG

MiLady

Hi people,

I just had an unusual encounter ….After messaging on collarme, A male who was applying for the position of slave, sent me his pic by email per My request….he seem to look under 21 years and was from Canada so I requested him to scan in proof like a drivers license or passport though I am not so sure the past port gives DOB to prove he was not a minor !!!  You must be careful on line, 

You know what he said!!!!and I quote “ Do you think I am stupid, do you think I would send a scanned proof of identity, stop scamming me you piece of shit”  <sigh> what a sad boi he is and definitely not for Me 

MiLady

I may not look 60 but I am and have looked at many manuals  and haved dealt with many fakes here in cyberspace....Yes There are many fakes out there ....would be Owners as well as would be slaves..... both not having a clue.   If you are willing to pay a little money for the manual, it can’t be cut or pasted but you can click on it to print after you pay a small fee it is over 200 pages and worth every penny.  It has help Me become the Mistress I am and it also will help slaves know what type of slave they wish to be and what you as a slave looks look for in a Mistress. On the other side this mannual will help a Mistress understand her slave and what she as a Owner of property should be responsible for.......There are no 1, 2, 3, andpoof  you are a slave or an Owner but this manual is the best I have ever read or used. I do not know if collarMe allows Me to place the site in a journal but if you ask Me for the site  I will be glad to freely give the site address to anyone Mistress or slave.

Regards,

MiLady

The other day I received a Message from a sub who states he wants to be a slave. He has a job and will support Me He wants to be a slave forever, has no problem in relocating. And that I am his dream Mistress. When a sub says this...and is one who has no experience as a slave, I send questions for them to answer and I state they are not to chat with other Mistresses. I also send My code of conduct… 9 times out of 10 I find them back on collarMe I simply ask why they are back on collarMe…. many just disappear. I must smile for I probably scare them to death because I tell what I want and I do not sugar coat it.  I am being real, many subs just fantasize this lifestyle and so they are not ready to be a true TPE slave.  Such bois are not necessarily players, but they really have no idea what this lifestyle is all about….As a Potential slave you Must and I repeat you Must, Read, Learn and know what you are getting into before you say you wish to turn over your life to someone. I do not believe any potential slave should just say they are yours without taking the time to know the woman who may become his Mentor and/or Owner.  It takes time chatting, emailing and talking on the phone to get to know someone.  And then there is the next level of communication the face to face.  I am not the wise woman of Florida, but in My 60 years I do know there must be trust, between the a Mistress and slave, then there is surrender of the slave’s vanilla life, his mind and body… for a Mistress to receive this from Her slave there must be real bonding to place the chain around a slave’s neck only then may that chain one Day reach to a deeper area …. A slave’s heart.

MiLady  

Ok, people, I just can’t get over how many people, subs, slaves and doms and domes, I have chatted and met who have only one way of thinking what a Mistress is or should be to their slaves/subs.

Maybe I am a new breed of Mistress, but I do not see that since I just turned 60 and am not really new to life in general giggle. I am a Loving Mistress who loves control, one who wishes to be served as a Queen, one who wishes to have a companion, like a loyal dog, a masseuse, sexual lip and tongue server, a lady in waiting, maid / butler/ cabana boy and sous chef and yes even a pain slut. And I do love to inflict pain it is a real turn on, but I am one who does not feel just because I am woman I am better than the male species. Guess what I had two wonderful loving parents and 1 sister, I have had two wonderful husbands who shared their loved with me, one died and the other I am still married to and he introduced Me to this wonderful BDSM lifestyle. So I am not a man hater yet, lol. Though I have had things in My life which happened that could have made me hate but it is how you handle what life shoots at you that molds you into the person you are. Now My husband and I are both controlling dominate humans who know we both need slaves to fulfill our lives. This is something neither one of us can do for the other because it is just not in us. Many think we need slave because we might not be sexually happy but we are and very strong in our love! We just are not servants.

You know the last time I looked up rules and regulations of BDSM there were no hard fast rules accept Safe, Sane and Consensual. Yes there are guidelines and interesting reading and most come from the fantasies in the author’s minds which I will say I enjoy very much. There are guidelines as to how to help a slave learn to give up his vanilla freedoms, But do this first for every slave, this second and then this third is not out there. Why….because there are different areas of need a Mistress May want and because each slave is uniquely different. Each time you have a new dog and you train it, to use a paper or go outside, not to get on furniture, not to beg, or even train it to do tricks, each dog is different not smarter just different willful, not willing to give up everything at once, so are Our slaves, our human pets.

I am not a cruel person just because I happen to love to inflict pain…. I do not set a goal for a slave beyond his ability just for a slave to fail, so he can be punished. That would be the last thing to help a slave’s self esteem. As I want the best slave I can have for ME he must be molded and that takes time… you need to get to know the slave inside and out. There is a bond you need to make though out the M/s relationship I want a slave who does things for Me not because he will be punished beyond belief, but because he loves to serve and it would hurt him so much to think he disappointed Me, his Mistress. Yes there would be discipline, of course but never when I am pissed off. I feel if you are mad you have already lost control of the situation. This may not be your way of training but it does not mean your right or I am right I just know My technique works for Me. I will leave you with this last statement… If you train a dog by beating it to death one day it May just turn on you. But if you take the time to know its background, what has been in its’ past, you may find a way or how you need to nurture the greatness within the dog and let it come forth. We all have heard of how dogs are man’s best friend and how many times a dog has saved a humans life, well let me ask you this, wouldn’t you wish to have a slave that devoted to his Mistress. The only way I know My dogs have that type of devotion is by showing rewards of love, kindness and discipline. To Me this BDSM life is not much without showing those three elements to your slave.

MiLady

In Polk County, Florida there is an ongoing investigation about a woman who was supposedly taking orders to beat children and send the pictures, videos or whatever to a man overseas to his home in Australia.  (I say supposedly because in America, you are innocent until proven guilty and because I do not know if the woman has indeed pleaded guilty)   The news or the Sherriff has not released if the man in Australia was a Dom and the woman a submissive but just that it was Fetish. Of course you can say you have a fetish for Ice-cream, but most when the word is used think of the Fetish Community or Lifestyle.  This bothers me because though I do not judge people, this could shed a bad light about the Fetish Community and I feel it will make some people judge all in the lifestyle.  On the other hand, there are people in the Fetish community who will say this sheriff is out to get all Fetish people It is sad, but both sides vanilla and Fetish do not have all the information.  Society for the most part tends to ostracize the different.  If you do not fit the mold then you are labeled a freak.  We see this with, BDSM, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Swinger and Poly Lifestyles, just to name a few.  Some in the Fetish Community will say the sheriff is out to get all in the Fetish community, we don’t know that for sure least I don’t because I have not talked with him.  What is left out is a lot of different elements.  There are many in the Fetish Community who would never touch animals, and children only consulting SANE adults.  There are some of the Fettish community who would never be on line to make someone do something but only to chat get to know and see if there could be a face to face and develop a real face to face relationship but only with adults.  There are those who are online for only online relationships also.  Now those of the Fetish Community take a step back and please do not lose your head, let’s say yes, yes we Fetish are so misunderstood but why….. Have you browsed the internet lately, many sites never shed anything but crazy wild fantasies or kinky sex there is no real rules so of course many vanillas think the worse. Sometimes, Alternative lifestyles, kink to swing to BDSM are all rolled into one by vanilla people because they are not educated or do not care to be educated in other lifestyles and let’s face it we are different and different is scary to the vanilla people.  I Myself do not go for children or animals both are innocent and not of age or brain maturity to decide what they want, not to mention the law of the land.  But that is Me and it is something I have decided not to do … not all are like Me but I will not judge them it is there choosing of what they wish to do in their life.  I try to always be SAFE SANE and CONSENSUAL.  And in being Sane I try to see the other side, the Fetish community is different and very scary to a vanilla world and it may take years to understand us,  There are other lifestyles out there who have never been understood so I am sure it will take many years for us to be understood let alone accepted

Thanks for reading just trying to understand both sides Regards, Mistress LionNess

Hi Everyone, In gathering information throughout the years I stumbled across some great information that has helped Me learn to train slaves and in re-reading some of this material I came across something I think all Owners and slaves should read and keep in mind:  To ALL slaves,.... Epictetus, a Roman slave turned philosopher, said that "when an event happens to you in life, you have in your power only one thing; your attitude toward it! You cannot change an event, but you can change your attitude toward it. To ALL OWNERS, We all know Changing a slave’s attitude about a particular object is not always easy. Attitudes are based on a combination of learned beliefs and feelings that effect behavior. It is what the slave thinks about the object and  the resistance to change is often based on several factors……It may be helpful to examine the components of attitude in order to assist an Owner in the training of their slave and provide insight into changing attitudes…..Attitude is defined as an inclination to respond to a particular object in a generally favorable or unfavorable way. Attitude is influenced by the way we perceive and respond to the world and is acquired through learning. An attitude is expressed in the present, but is a reflection of past experiences and learning. It is possible to change an attitude with a present tense focus, but it is often better to examine the past and discuss when, where, how and why the attitude developed…..Because attitudes are an important influence on a slave, an Owner and the relationship, attitudes deserve to be looked at during training. Changing attitudes is a component in the re-socialization of a slave. And do remember Owners it is up to You to help teach the slave how to change its’ attitude and this does not always mean a beating.  Just asking the slave What were they thinking may give you insight as to why the behavior was done and why the attitude…..Always remember that proper attitude is key to having proper motivation to achieve the goals you have set for Your slave……Thanks for reading, MiLady

Today I was appalled at a discussion I had with two Mistresses on collarMe,  They could care less about a sub or slave they have control over, so pardon Me while I get on My Soap Box, but I feel this needs to be written.  Safe, Sane and Consensual these words are a Must in any BDSM play and if you don’t think so, then I’m sorry to say,You are not much of a Mistress in My book !!! 

SAFEWhat is the best way one can feel safe?  By TAKING CARE of each other the best way we can!!!  No matter how a Mistress May want Their scenes, gentle or rough, You have the responsibility to make the scene happen in ways not to injure the slave.

If you wish to flog or whip someone you better have practiced on a pillow before you begin to hit flesh … know where the kidneys are and know what can happen if you start whaling on a delicate organs .  Not to mention taking the danger of sexually transmitted diseases seriously and not endanger a slave’s life.

SANEWhat do you think power exchange is a about?   TRUST  A bottom is trusting that the person who is the Top will use Their power responsibly.  If you are the Mistress you have been granted by the slave the wonderful gift of trust and I feel a good Mistress is honor bound to repay it with good judgment.  If You are so involved in the scene that you can’t make good judgments, then You are not in control of Yourself and You have no business having control over anyone.  Sanity is all about control, and self control come first!!!

CONSENSUALMake sure everything that happens between the people in the scene is acceptable  to all concerned.  Mistress be sure your bottom has said yes  if you are not sure then you two need to communicate big time!!!

Mistresses the best way for You to get what You want out of a slave in a scene is to make sure the slave knows his safe word is an acceptable “no”  I know a slave is only to OBEY but let’s face it… a yellow light does not mean stop… A good Mistress can  make sure the breathing is working can get the slave to relax and then coax  a bit more.  The most dangerous thing is for a slave to say yes for the wrong reasons.  If this happens the situation can end up neither safe sane or consensual. 

Remember the time to clarify consent is before a scene, not after. Regards, MiLady

Hi everyone

Just added new pic of My self Number 11  Had My hair cut do not know if I like it but oh well hair will grow back LOL

MistressLionNess

     Another one bits the dust.. How one handles things that does not go the way one expects is the biggest challenge W/we humans have. 

     Bitterness is not My game but I would not be honest if I said I was not a little bit dissappointed and pissed.  Here is a so called slave who though not a pain slut and not perfect in other areas ... I felt he could have been trained to become a good slave boy.

To just dissappear is rude  even in the vanilla world.  So My search goes on  for this Mistress. 

     Be real and know what you want out of this BDSM life if you can't handle pain or the fact u will be a slave not a lover... If you can't handle the fact  that u are loved like a puppy dog and punnshed as one too ... I you can't become devoted to My every whim, ...  then for goodness shakes be big enough to say so!!!!  Especially do it face to face when you r meeting for the first time...Don't just dissappear.... This way you do not look so much like a player.

MiLady

Hello E/everyone,

After a few months of chatting on the net as well as on the phone I have had a delightful face to face for 2 weeks with a potential slave.  W/we seem to fit very well in how W/we both wish to Live in this BDSM life style.  He has shown great devotion and real sincerity in his love to serve a Mistress.  I could not be more pleased with him and so as of this date June 6, 2011 I have bought a black spiked training collar with a name tag engraved with the following….“MiLady’s Property (next line) “FOXY”.   Contracts shall be signed before he returns home to settle his affairs and move to Florida in October.  After he moves in I shall set up a blog on the internet and share the Poly family’s experiences with the addition of this new slave.

If I can help any and all to realize their full potential in the BDSM world do not hesitate to contact this Mistress.  I May have information which could be enlightening to any receiver

Regards,

MiLady

Hello everyone,

Just a little note stating I will be off line for a while My things from Thailand have arrived at the Tampa Port and will be here at the town house on Friday May 12TH and there is a lot to open 3, 7 1/2 by 7 1/2 by 4 feet high crates. Each crate has boxes and boxes of pic and personal items to unpack. I will then be busy with the pics going up on the walls and house hold kitchen and clothing and office equipment all to sort out. Lot's to do giggle and best of all the anal toys will be unpacked for some lucky slave to have then used on him giggle can't wait!!!

Regards,

MiLady

Hello Every1,

     Many of those who have subscribed to My journals know I am not your typical Mistress.  I have written about slave hood and what it means to this Mistress; subspace and how I feel, if one uses it properly getting a slave to subspace can help wrap a chain around your slaves heart forever. And isn’t that what a Mistress wants total devotion from Her slave, well I do 

     Many have said in reading what I wrote about My husband’s female slave, they saw a unique side of love in a Poly family.  Now I shall write about the intimate side of this Mistress and a slave’s relationship.                                  

It is always hard to break down barriers of a slave who for one reason or another has put up walls to protect his or her feelings.  I think as the Owner/slave’s relationship develops, trust becomes stronger and stronger and therefore you open up more and more or at least you should.  Yes, even Mistresses I feel should open up.  Most Mistresses do not feel they should because they May tend to lose control over their slave, which in My eyes is sad.  Lord, knows these same Owners, would never allow a slave have sex with penetration with them.  Some Mistresses feel a slave is beneath them so they could not allow this type of intimacy.  This I feel is wrong in My House hold for I believe; no one is higher than another human being. I feel in My BDSM lifestyle, some humans have a strong need to serve (to become slaves) where other humans love and need control and domination over someone (and become Owners).      So if one does not believe a slave is piece of dirt, then why not have dominion over his sexual penetration with You?  To this Mistress, when you decide, When where, how and if he is allowed to cum…. Damn that is control.  Let me ask this, and just open you mind for a moment, if a slave is allowed pussy worship with his Mistress, then his tongue, his lips, his teeth, chin, or whatever the Mistress allows the slave to use is not any different than the use of his cock.  Both cock and tongue dart in and out of the vagina (hopefully hitting G spots, both cock and tongue hopefully hit the clit if done correctly, causing pleasure for the Mistress.  And if done correctly then the Mistress cums  right….. I don’t know about any other Mistress’ climax, but when I organism I am not and I repeat, I am not in control at that point and time at all… come on, how can you be with your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your body feeling all the pleasures it can handle until the body explodes with delightful quivers of pleasure.  So when I hear a Mistress say, I don’t wish to lose control I say Fuck that what’s a slave there for but to pleasure your every desire.  If the slave can do it with a tongue or with a cock more power to him.  Believe me I have had a slave cry afterwards because he knew he pleased this Mistress very well and this is what a slave should live for and a in My eyes a Mistress should cherished Her slave for pleasing his Mistress.  Know this is My BDSM Lifestyle and it may not fit Anyone’s other than Mine.

Regards,

MiLady

A little look into My BDSM world

Maybe a little journal entry might help people understand what is what in this Mistress’ BDSM world.  Many people subs, slaves, Dommes and Owners have different ideas and interpretations of what BDSM is to them, not to mention I  have different aspects of what I want in a slave.   But it is a slave I want not a submissive.  In fact it is a TPE slave I want, for I love total control over a slave.

In My BDSM World, all slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves.  Slaves give themselves totally to their Owners, to do with as the Owner pleases. The slave has no limits accept what limits their Owner has.  A submissive is one who gives itself to a Domme with the understanding there are certain places a Domme can’t go.   

And yes I feel there is a difference between Mistresses and Dommes Dominants who own slaves are called Mistresses and those who bond with subs but do not own them are Dommes.

I hear all the time a slave went to a pro domme and she didn’t care about the slave at all, well this may not be true with all pros, in all fairness, what do you expect you pay someone, so why should they care.  Does a john who pays for sex to a prostitute get caring….  Hmmmmmm not really she does what she is paid to do.  The prostitute may care he arrives home safe, but that is so he can return to pay for sex with her again.

So first off read and know what and who you are in this BDSM world.  And if you are wanting to approach Me you need to at least know what you are in My BDSM world.

I have seen the word Dome spelt Domme and Dome been told both are correct so don’t get pissed if it is not your way of spelling it, heck at least I capitalize it in My BDSM world lol.

Regards,

MiLady

Slaves, slaves, slaves,

     Do all future Owners a favor... Know there is a difference between a slave and a submissive.  Many of you who say you are a slave, these who have contacted Me have found the excitement of finding a real true Mistress, but they themselves are really a submissive.  Or the fantasy of becoming a slave is real, but as they say the flesh isn't, meaning when I say 24/7 TPE, I want just that.  Many of you, say you are financially secure but not willing to contribute to the financial household needs... Come on I am retired and am comfortable but I am not rich besides no one rich or not wants to have a free loader.... I do not want your life savings but you do eat and shower and need electric ac or heat so if you cannot contribute why waste My time and yours.  And for Goodness sakes don’t tell a Owner you don’t eat Much GEEZ,  it is a Owner’s  responsibility to keep Their slave healthy and to train the slave to become  the best slave they can be.

     There are some who say, I am a true slave, but when you find out this Mistress is real and I set up a face to face drop the bomb of well in 2 years I will retire... this Mistress is looking for a slave NOW, not two years down the road,  Don't try and dictate where or when you will be a slave. I just have to shake My head and laugh; this is not a slave but a submissive who thinks they can dictate where and when.  I even had a so called slave ready to be a slave only after he got his divorce and sold his house,  let’s be real here No one dictates to an Owner.

     Before you get involved with any future Owner ask yourself these questions: 

 1. Can u really  Be a TPE slave at this time in your life,    

 2. Are u willing to give up everything to please one person, an Owner?

3. If u as a slave are willing to come to an Owners home, visit be trained, then you must trust that Owner, cause in training you have given over your life into that Owners hands

     REMEMBER A slave makes one decision and one decision only and  that is to become a slave the rest is just to OBEY got it Good.  So be ready to do just that for an Owner may want you as soon as possible.

 MiLady

Interviews are open again  seems the slave had some family problems  which he has to take care of.

Wow what a wonderful reception after posting I was coming back to America from my 2 year stay in Thailand I have candidates contacting Me left and right.... I have already a slave under consideration and will know for sure after face to face training is completed.  He will be then be collared and tattooed with My symbol... I just want to Thank all the slaves and subs who I have met in real life and in chat on collar me for the royal welcome back to the States.  Now to get My slave trained and begin to go to BDSM clubs again Boy have I missed that No clubs in Thailand like the American BDSM clubs 

Hugs to all and a slap on the Tush to only a special few!!!

MiLady

Merry Christmas from Thailand…And a Happy New Year I hope All are as happy as I am!!!MiLady

Sunday, November 14, 2010                                                                                               
          To many subspace is a collection of things; a sensation of being out of the body experience when one is away from what is going on around the P/person.  When this happens many a slave has said to be able to handle more pain and more verbal attacks from a Dominant, they are able to obey without any resistance and become what some say is a Super slave.. Doing or handling everything that their Mistress commands of them. As a Dominant in subspace it is almost an orgasmic ecstasy, you are just as spent as if you had had multiple orgasms.          
          Here is another way of looking at subspace:  At a focused point the slave goes to where the body begins to produce more endorphins to intersect the physical pain this does not cover up the pain, but gives a warm fuzzy feeling.  Example: many owners of female slaves like to put clamps on their slave’s breast and rub the slave’s clit at the same time this starts the endorphins to begin a pleasure over the pain of the breast clamps.  Same with Male slaves clamping their man tits at the same time their cock is stroked helps slaves to feel good and forget about anything that might be uncomfortable. In other words their brain feels the pleasure far greater than the pain and this feeling may even continue beyond the scene into moments and hours after the scene is finished.
          I for one think subspace is worth trying to create in a scene.  This can be done with the slave learning relaxation, breathing, and focusing techniques. And the Dominate can increase the chance of this by observing the reactions of Their slaves.  Seeing how much more the slave can endure … stretching the slaves limits, as One gives sexual pleasures at the same time One gives pain.  This will not happen overnight it is as everything else in a Mistress/slave relationship a work  in process but once a slave enters subspace it can be pushed further  to enhance training  to achieve subspace.
          Any slave who wishes to achieve subspace needs to be ready to work  focusing  themselves  or simply breathing and relaxing  through pain that they may feel but You as the Dominant must train the slave before stretching the slaves limits.
          Subspace is a hot topic in the BDSM lifestyle,  just remember it is something that may not be achieved the first time or by everyone. MiLady

Saturday, November 13, 2010 just some thoughts on Subspace
                      Subspace, There are many thoughts on subspace if you were to ask 20 Mistress and slave s you would get 20 different answers. This is because subspace is an individual experience and which can be formed through slave training but because it is such an individual experience it is hard draw the same definition for one slave to fit another slave or Mistress for that matter.  Yes even the dominate person can go into subspace during a scene. 
                       Another concern with subspace is because it is so unclear it is hard to tell when and if it actually happens.  Some say it is purely emotional while others say it is a physical reaction...  One thing for sure do not get wrapped up in this definition because it may hinder training and cause problems with attaining subspace.
                       I would love for every slave I am in contact with to be able to achieve this state, but if I am going to be an honest person I must be willing to let other Mistresses and slaves know it may never happen for Your slave or Yourself as a Mistress.  A slave may never move out of pain into this erotic pleasure, this does not mean the slave’s training has not worked or has not been successful. This does not make you a less Mistress than another, it just is what it is.  Tomorrow more on subspace   MiLady

To all slaves who wish to approach this Mistress read and learn!!!   When a Mistress says she is looking for a  LTR  24/7 TPE slave  Why Do I need to explain anything More …. Seems for some slaves I need to, so let me make it clear once and for all…..From what I have read and what I have experienced in this lifestyle a TPE or even 24/7 slave would mean you make one decision and that is to become a slave… after that decision the slave is to Obey to the best of his ability.  Hard limits I will agree to openly look at for I have some hard limits also, but even with hard limits a slave must believe that a Mistress will take the responsibility to not jeopardize Her slave in any way legal or physical. A slave must trust and believe in his Mistress or this M/s relationship will be doomed to failure.

Subject of Tributes, Being Used and Abused….    Oh I am sure I will get some reaction about this journal entry but I have big shoulders LOL!!!Mistresses/Masters Bitch about sub/slaves wanting Money to visit or send them an air plane ticket or pay the sub/slaves bills…In the vanilla life style men and even women buy dinner, candy, clothes or they even swooped off  someone for a weekend trip somewhere, and if they stay together for any period of time, there are many, many gifts given, so what’s the big deal.  Also in the vanilla world, if you do not wish to pay out  anything, then you don’t it is simple … I know, I know sub/slaves are sub/slaves and should not put demands on an Owner, but all you need to say is NO, now isn’t that simple Why act so surprised, people have been out to get what they can for themselves for a long time. After a while you will be able to tell the true BDSM person wheather slave or Owner.  But just remember, In the BDSM Lifestyle Owners want a certain type of slave and slaves wish to have a certain type of Owner, Many of which May be fantasy, but it is what it is!
     Subs/slaves bitch about Mistresses/ Masters just using them and wanting money for their services Hmmmm pros are pros are they NOT and the last I heard they get paid.  If they say they r a pro Domme or Dom then the simple fact is they expect to be paid.  And no they may not be as interested in the person they r with, but a good pro would be.   If a slave is used or even abused I am sorry that happens and even those who are great Owners will sometimes be told by a slave that the Owner just used the slave for the Owner’s pleasure, when a slave does not get what they want from a good Owner….Hmmmm , What is wrong with this picture, sorry but a slave’s existence is to pleasure an Owner and many a slave may feel they have been abused, but remember there r Owners out there who do what they do to make their slave the best slave they can be.  If you have encountered a bad Owner who had no heart and abused you, then chalk it up to experience and learn from it, but do not think all Owners are this way.
     Anyone who says life is a bed of roses is CRAZY and in this BDSM lifestyle you can triple the word Crazy because it is a tricky Lifestyle.  Remember subs/slaves must communicate with their Owners and Owners Must do the same with their sub/slaves otherwise there will be No happiness within the O/s relationship.

MiLady

Hello everyone,

Life is good, I have been chatting with a potential slave which seems very real.  It is hard to communicate sometimes because of the internet being down, either here or where he is at.  Also there is of course the other lifestyle the old Vanilla life that seems to creep in and take over.  One does have to work to be able to eat LOL.

Hopefully soon we will meet face to face and see if how we click on line is the same face to face.  I have a very good friend who is a slave/submissive living in Albany NY, I happen to be talking to him about how communication was not going to well with this potential slave… He told Me out loud on the phone to quit being negative.  Good thing he is a friend first and a submissive/slave second LOL.  I try to live by this code “I will believe in a person until they prove I should Not!!!”  Sometimes the past gets in the way of that thinking   BTW the Albany sub/slave is on the phone with Me now, I told him in June when I am in the USA I will punish him for telling a Mistress not to be negative….. Maybe I will treat him like a parrot and Make him say over and over “MiLady is always Right … MiLady is always Right” and make him eat crackers with no water giggle.   Life is Good, Life is an Adventure, Life is Erotic, So just go with the flow and let Life educate you with Many unique experiences!!!  Remember it is not what Life throws at you (good or Bad experiences) but how you deal with them, All of your experiences will make you grow in to an exceptional human being.

MiLady

pnoel4,

On the 15Th of August you sent Me an email, stating you were going on cruise next Sunday and you had been given permission to do so by Me, for it had been arranged with your son before We/we Met on collarme.  Well the  next Sunday was the 22ND of August.  It now has been 4 weeks and no word from you... Do not tell Me there are not any stops in any of the countries where they would have an Internet cafe.... do not tell Me there is no Internet on board a ship and don't tell Me there is no way you could call Me from the ship. u have shown  u are not devoted, for if you were u  would want to be in touch with ur future Mistress.
  

u beg Me to be My slave... u tell Me you wish to give up everything to fulfill the need to become a slave so deep inside you.  There is no excuse for this behavior unless you are dead and this may sound callous but  you are dead to Me...Even if you were ill you could have someone send an email saying you were ill… right now I would not even waist My time in punishing you if u were in front of Me  ... I once told you I believe everyone until they prove Me wrong Well you have proved Me wrong, 

I can understand why Mistresses on CollarMe go rapid  when they think they have found a real slave only for them to Disappear. Why should I be surprized when you said you would be here in October and now poof your gone.
It does make you wonder if anyone is real.
 
We Mistresses know what We want and hope to find someone real and people like you give the BDSM real slaves a bad name.

u have been released.

Just a note …. I will be out of town from Sept 11^th till the 21^st. Have some business in Chang Mai and Bangkok.  If I have time I will check emails and messages otherwise I will contact back to all on the 22^nd.

MiLady

I write this to let those Masters and Mistresses, who seem to find only wannabes on collarme, to know there are real slaves out there.  One who I have been in contact with as a friend, for he is not willing to be in a Poly family and the other who I felt was just a submissive turns out to be a slave and he I am happy to say will be marring his new Mistress. So though these two are not slaves to fit within My Poly family they r true slaves at heart and I am so happy for them.  They will always be friends with in this BDSM Lifestyle, and what is so wonderful they never disappeared they had the balls to say thank you,  your great, but I do not think for one reason or another I would make a good slave for what You are looking for.  So keep looking Masters and Mistresses  Your slave is out there.

MiLady

Ok, Here we go again I have a slave under consideration, but no decision has been made or a commitment sealed with a contract, not until I see him face to face.  Let’s hope he is real and does NOT disappear.

MiLady  

Great Happy newsto My household, to those who read My journal and to those who have no clue who robbie is (My husband’s female slave). Anyway  My Husband spoke to robbie and  all of the lumps of cancer have left her body and no more chemo now she is on radiation.  We hope for the best and she will be able to return to us soon. She is so excited and My husband as I should not say this but he is like a little kid in a candy store.  I am very happy for him and for Me also I get  a trusted friend back in our Poly family.  MiLady 

Well the Internet is back on track in Thailand.  Had some wires down and needed a new router box as they say here it was kaput.  All is well here but I have been off line for almost 3 weeks such things happen when you r living in Paradise.  Thailand is a bit slow in fixing things.  MiLady  

I have not been on collarMe much due to the fact My pool is being renovated … it is almost done!!!

The July salve just up and disappeared when it came close to the 10^th, the date he was to arrive. But I look at it this way… it is cyber space and until u r in My household as My slave and totally committed wearing My symbol proudly, serving Me as I wish and Loving every Minute of ur slave hood, then and only then does it become real.  To Me life is way too short to hold grudges and cyberspace is what it is cyberspace and until u r face to face, then it will become real and lasting forever.  Next potential slave is to arrive in October we shall see.  Someone once said u have to slap a few tushies, flog a few backs, hear a few lies before u find the slave for a lifetime.

MiLady  

Hi every1,

Just a quick note spoke with robbie My husband’s female slave on the phone … she is finished with the first two rounds of chemo will have 4 more.  She seems in good spirits and We hope she will be back with Us as soon as possible.

It is the rainy season here just started as I am renovating My pool go figure LOL
Take care

MiLady

Over My profile pic, it plainly states to READ MY Profile…. There are 12 times the word slave (NOT submissive) is not only written but is underlined.  Does that tell u anything? 
A slave is a submissive, but not all submissives are slaves.  Difference simple and sweet A submissive may contemplate, yes I will do that or no I will not do that, with each time a task is told to him to do.  A slave makes one decision after it is yes I will be a slave, there is no other decision, he just does what is asked of him and he does it willingly to please his Mistress.  Other Mistresses/subs/slaves may believe differently than I do  and that is fine but I WILL NOT alter from My belief on this sub/slave meaning.  MiLady  

   I have done a lot of thinking about My last journal entry  I had not lookd at the submissives side  and I think there are many many Dom’s and Mistresses in this Lifestyle who have not thought about the decision a slave/submissive has to make in the BDSM lifestyle I am sure it is a scarry side to a sub searching to become a slave.  I think as future Owners we need to look at this other side  and in doing so see the bigger picture, a person male or female goes to a munch or reads a fantasy book, or looks at a video about some small part of BDSM and it turns them on.  This does not make a person a slave?  It may stir an inner part wanting to come out or it may just turn someone on.  How does this person know if he/she  has a true slave's heart?  Let’s take an extreame area of the Lifestyle of slavery. The idea of being caged…. To be under ones control to place oneself in the hands of a person with a key of a 4 by 3 or two foot metal cage. The future sub/slave thinks, Wow this sounds great I have always thought this would be the best way to submit.  Have they experienced it No, Have they felt the pain of muscles cramped for hours, their limbs longing to be released and when released they can hardly stand. 

     Let’s take My side the sadistic infliction of Pain, flogging, paddling, whipping… many may think this is a wonderful way to submit, but until they feel the smack of the paddle  as it turns the ass cheeks rosey red, then changing to a flogger and/or whip, then feeling the welps or strips of a leather flogger the stinging heat of the whip nearly tearing open this persons flesh, How do they know this is what they wish. 

     Then there is the mental part of BDSM, to turn over one’s self completely…. Mind, body, even one’s every existence.  Not just sexual denial or pleasure, but who this person was and is and be molded into something of service only.  To have all control gone and To have one thing on this persons mind at all times and that is making an Owner happy, this is not what many wantabees had in mind.  So they just disappear ….it is easier that way.  Mistresses, and Masters Don’t rant and rave about it just continue ur search there r real slaves out there just like good partners in Marriage few and far between, good with the bad ….one must search till they find that special one to satisfy our lust for this BDSM lifestyle.  But when u do find this person who has a true slave's Heart, as in marriage it can be the MOST wonderful bonding and satisfaction one can share.  MiLady

I am baffled, There are a few who seemed worth My time to get to know and develop a M/s relationship, but then they just disappear.  Now believe it or Not I know I am Not the perfect Mistress to all who apply LOL and I do understand that I live overseas and that is hard to just drop everything and commit to... not only becoming a slave giving up ones existence to serve only Me, but to do it in another country I think is even harder.  And where I Live, Thailand is wonderful but, this country has rules for visas, with that being the case I must ask some personal and financial questions.  So of course many do not qualify but that does not mean a slave should just up and disappear without a word Geeeez not very devoted to just disappear LOL. But then I guess they r not the ones who would make a good slave.  My question is ...I would like to understand why a potential slave would not have the decency to say thank u but no thank u.  Is it Me or is that too Much for a Mistress to ask for in any human slave or Not.

One the other side of this BDSM search, Just know there r many out there who have been up front with me and they have turned out to be wonderful friends.  So to all Dom, Dommes slaves and subs, never give up the right one is out there and for goodness sakes don’t give up or become bitter.  MiLady

I have never done this with any slave/submissive and I have not met this slave only sent a message after he contacted Me.  I would suggest slaves to read his profile this is what this Mistress is looking for unfortunately this slave is too far away and he has a job which would stop him as a slave in my house hold.  But any potential slave should read his profile  bulejkt1972  he has his head in the right area of  slave thinking at least  for this Mistress.  Good luck in your life bulejkt1972

This is the first time I have been able to write about robbie,  My husband’s slave.  Wayne went with her to America for support when she had a few lumps to return.  We got the news that the cancer is back and it does not look good, but she will start chemo Friday the 14^th.

I miss her and I know Wayne does even more than I do, for when you have such a bond with a slave it is hard To be separated.  But she is more than a slave we are family and I who is always in control.. I who fixes everything in business or in family matters, I can’t fix it and I feel very lost.  She of course wants the doctors she used in the USA and I do not blame her so Wayne is here with me in Thailand and she is in America.  She does have family and friends around her and we call and email every day. Thanks for listening I just love her very much and miss her dearly.  MiLady

Today it is raining in Thailand, The thunder is wild and loud enough to cover the screams of a slave… the Lighting is white and terrifying just as my whips and floggers are…. It has put Me in a very sadistic Mood and the power of the storm has filled My Mind for inflicting pain.   A potential slave is to arrive on the 11^th I hope it rains that day….. WEG    MiLady

I am glad I have a good outlook on life and know there are reasons why things happen or don’t happen.  I now understand when some Mistresses go kinda crazy when they find out a person is not a real slave at heart and call them a wannabe.  I do not want to fall into that category of craziness and loss of control but there is a lot of Wannabes out there.  I now am in contact with a few potential slaves… but only time will tell   keep those applications coming u r out there for sure.  What’s that one liner “All slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves”  MiLady

MiLady’s  BDSM side:

I was born into a very Independent Christian thinking family.  Brought up to live as I wish, to do as I wish as long as I felt right with God and did not intentionally  Hurt someone.  With that said I do not preach to anyone or judge anyone for their lifestyle or beliefs. I have always loved being in control

One day My husband took me to a Munch, then to a playtime to observe a Dom named Sir Richard and his Pain Slut jen.  He whipped paddled and flogged her, even used an aluminum base ball bat on her.  To My husband’s surprise and Mine I never showed any emotion, but I felt as if I was one with Sir Richard with each blow he made on jen. I was electrified with his talent and I felt the lust and need to be in control like that.  As the Ann Rice author explains in her books the desire and need for blood  her vampire charaters feel… The thurst the vampire needs to have quenched and then how a vampire feels when the warmth of the blood go through its veins, so does the electric charge of inflicting pain happens when I see it or inflict it. The feeling was and still is almost as good as an organism. And each time I have a session with a slave whether he can endure a lot of pain or just a little I enjoy the feeling of control and the lust of seeing the pains effect on the slave from his eyes, his facial expression, to the redness of the flesh, to the jerking of the body when surprised with the pain. I love to work up slowly with the crop, then the paddle and then my floggers  one is made out of parachute cording made in Iraq while I worked there.  Another is  my regular leather flogger with its glass dildo handle (two toys in one).  Then there is Black Beauty Aww she is my favorite … she is of polished Leather and her handle is another glass dido she can sting just like a honey bee and she would make you remember who your Mistress is for days.  Any way just talking about it makes Me hot and wet and drained.  But there is another side of this Mistresses’ infliction of pain CBT…. To see in the eyes the need of release, to see the erection  continue even with a blow to the balls or penis... to see the slave be so excited he is almost cumming…. only to be made limp two or three times before being allowed release.  To see the slave trained to feel just the soft touch of my hand on his penis as satisfaction is something …to hear the need when the slave begs his Mistress to be touched or  have release,  to me this is unbelievable to have that control.  To feel that a slave can have such devotion to his Mistress he would allow this and be happy it pleases Her is a feeling I honestly LOVE and Need.  Yes Mistresses have needs and wants just like a slave.

This Mistress is of course dominating, but not just in the bedroom.  I would control your life, how you live, where you go, what you are allowed to do, even having you ask me to go to the restroom.  Now I am easy going when it comes to some slave/Mistress rules: I love eye contact, the eyes tell a person a lot, they are the one thing a slave cannot control, maybe he can control his tone of voice or his pain threshold, but not his eyes. So there is no eye restriction.

As far as pain goes I like to paddle and flogg but i have found out I can be turned on by a little or alot of that type of play and it is not such a big deal to Me as I first thought.  Controll is more what I like:

 I am not a Gorean Mistress my slave does not need to kiss my feet when he comes in my presence or bow or kneel.  I want a chain around his heart not his neck. But I do like to be in control and He does have to give his life over to me.   This means as a slave I take care of him, I will decide on sexual release when, where and I will tease and make him want me over and over again. I do not share my toys or my Pets with any one unless it is within My Poly family this is only if I wanted to watch my slave have sex or oral with my husbands slave and I be in control of what my slave does. this would please Me.

My slave does not need to buy clothing; he will wear what I wish him to wear. Because what I want him to wear pleases Me and he is to please ME. If he wishes to buy presents for family or friends all he needs to do is ask permission to do so.  This control pleases Me.  There of course are special duties which is house work and yard work but this Mistress works along with the slave. There are oral duties of pussy worship and even sex with me as a reward. Also there is exercise bike riding is something I love to do and will buy a goods bike for My slave to ride with Me. To share this life with Me means you will not to be locked up in a cage or room.  My slave will be part of My life and he will complete what My husband cannot.  My husband is dominate as I am and he needs a slave to fulfill his dominate side as I do. Our slaves are our treasures and there will be respect for them and even love for them.  So if you are not willing to Trust Me or this Poly family if you really do not wish to be willing to give up everything to become my slave and have me as your goddess then do not waste my time or yours.  This is no game I play and though I am not into taking your money we all in this poly family put money into the expenses of the house hold.  I do not think anyone should be a free loader. If you have questions about this poly family read my Journal.

I hope this will make you think of what it is you as a slave really want.

MiLady

If u have been reading my journal then you know I am not your typical Mistress and with a Poly family it is a totally different ballgame.  I’d like to give my view point of our Poly family.. all Poly families are different, but this is a few things I have learned and wish to pass them on to any who are interested.

 Being part of a Poly BDSM family is work and if some say it is Not they are full of crape.  I will say our Poly family is a bit different than Most Mistress/slave or Master/slave relationships.

There is a common goal for a Poly Family to survive and it is a simple goal called HAPPINESS for everyone.

As you have two dominants with in this family sometimes our thick stubborn sides peak though the silver clouds, but we all have worked towards everyone’s happiness. In order for this family to work each member must allow themselves to be part of the family or at least allow themselves to be open enough to communicate needs, desires, and hurts.

You have to allow yourself to be part of a group dynamic if you are going to be poly, even if your intention is only to have intimate sexual relations with just one person in the group. Your actions mean something and you have to take responsibility for your actions at all times.  You can’t assume that what you say or do has no repercussions to the group.  I know this from my own actions and how they were received and perceived.  And how I received and perceived other members actions of our Poly family.  Now many Mistresses and Masters will never admit they made mistakes… why I have no idea, but let me tell you, we all have and so don’t put all the blame on your slave.  Geez I don’t know a Master or a Mistress who created the world in 7 days so get over yourself WE all make mistakes.  And listen You Dominants out there you can’t pretend “it’s their problem” and walk away from what has happened or what you have done.  Everyone benefits when there is Happiness within the family.

Everyone has to communicate.  Period.  If you cannot do this you cannot build the trust needed to make a Poly family work.  And know if you are not willing to communicate then you need to get the fu*k out.

Now our family is more of a Pride of Lions thus the name of our house, “The House of the Pride”.

Sir Wayne is the Head Lion, MiLady is the Female matriarch Lioness, Sir Wayne’s female slave and MiLady’s male slave are other lions of the pride with special relationships with their Master/Mistress and as with the entire member of this Poly Pride/family.

What does it mean being a part of a group? Basically it means that you interact with everyone in the group, consider their feelings and make a conscious effort to keep the machine, the group, moving in the direction of the common goal, happiness.

One of the things everyone in a poly relationship should be doing is figuring out what drives the machine, what interactions are required and what keeps everyone happy most of the time.

This basically means you have to get to know everyone in the group on a one on one basis. Everyone should have a minimal comradely relationship. You don’t need to fuck, but you need to like each other beyond tolerance. If you are just “tolerating” anyone in the group, crap is going to fly and you’re never going to know in what direction.

The ideal in a poly dynamic is a sense of family, being on the same team, of everyone having your back, standing by your side, basically everyone should be able to trust the entire group.

Levels of trust will differ depending on the type of interaction, lovers, friends and the level of need required by each individual. You may need tons of proof for trust. Another member may need nothing more than your word. (Neither is  nobler than the other.)

How do you get trust, there is Only one way Honest Communication.  Communication is always the answer and if you can’t dive into the sense of group enough to give that, then things are doomed. 

Basically most, if not everything you do or say in the group means something to someone. And if those things are taken wrong, it doesn’t absolve you from having done them. Does it make you a prick or a bitch or a bastard? Depends.

Sometimes we say thoughtless things.

“She looked better yesterday.”  Is this necessarily a bad statement?  No, it’s not. It might mean she looks good today, but not as good as she did yesterday. Someone might see the meaning as “ She looks bad today.”

Something like that is in the ear of the listener. One can explain what they mean and it never be heard. The original speaker just needs to apologize even if they didn’t mean harm. It doesn’t cost anyone anything and everyone can move on.

That’s taking responsibility for the group dynamic and allowing it to function beyond personal pride. Everyone in the group should be doing this.

Now if that statement was made with a snide tone an apology is needed. Things may have to be discussed further depending on the matter and also the frequency of such tonalities.

Tone means everything and if a speaker is consistent in offensive tones the speaker needs to change the habit even if they don’t mean it. Why?

For one, offensive tones can cause trouble. It can make a neutral statement sound combative. This would require constant explanation and apology by the speaker. Over time, the explanations and apologies would mean nothing because repeat apologies now sound like they are not real. It now sounds like the speaker intends insult.  Repeat offenses, even if unintentional, stop being unintentional.

It now becomes thoughtless and negligent regardless of what the speaker thinks. For the speaker to continuously state “it’s their problem” is a clear statement to everyone in the group:

If the speaker does not care enough to change an offensive habit and does not care about group stability. Then the speaker is more concerned about themselves because a repetition of this action WILL cause resentment. Resentment causes the dynamic to lose focus from its common goal, HAPPINESS.  Now I will say there should also be patience for the speaker, no one changes over night, so keep in mind it may take a while for the speaker to change its ways.  If the speaker can’t drop the ego on the matter or continues not to see that they are now the problem then that person can kiss their involvement in the group goodbye or in some cases, the entire group will dissolve.

So what needs to happen? Well, it all revolves around the dreaded word “Communication”.

I think people forget that communication is a complicated thing. They forget it’s not just hearing the words, but understanding the words and going beyond understanding and taking action. It is also stepping back and seeing both sides.  But it’s needed; if the group cannot withstand effective communication, then it’s not strong enough to bear the weight of itself. Essentially, it will fail and people will get hurt. 

If two people, lovers, friends, family cannot talk to each other, listen to each other and hear the good as well as the bad, then they aren’t what they think they are. Lovers listen and take it. Friends fight and come back to each other. Family stands by you no matter what.

This doesn’t mean you get to run over or hurt people intentionally. It doesn’t mean on the other hand that, “It’s their problem and if they turn their backs on me then they don’t love me.”

What it means is that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, (from slave to Master or Mistress) has to take responsibility for what they say and do. They have to modify their behavior if that behavior consistently causes pain or stress to one or more of the group. If they don’t that person isn’t a part of the group and doesn’t have the group in mind. They only have themselves and if this is the case then they need to drop out.  But bare in mind this does take time… and  remember Rome was not built in a day.

Yes, it’s work, but it’s fun too. Think about it? More love, more sex, more play, more emotional support, maybe more financial support, a sense of family, a sense of having someone on your team!  Who’s got your back?!?! Who’s on your side?!?!?! Who will take care of you when you’re sick or down, Kinda one for all and all for one.  So for this Mistress Yes, a poly family is work but it is for Me.

MiLady

I am now almost mended from the accident  just some sore ribs still but was back on the back for the past 3 days.
UPDATE    Been chatting with a few potential slaves and I have one arriving March 3^rd if he is real … Will keep u posted on his worth. MiLady

Young sub put in his place (true story)

      On line a Mistress meets a lot of submissives who just say they wish to serve and be on their way.  I have a few subs to keep me sharp for the 24/7 slaves under consideration.  At any rate this one young hunk of a sub stood me up not once,  but twice…. as he said, something came up… called out of town, what ever, anyway he begged for forgiveness and I told him he would be punished for standing Me up .  He agreed to be punished.

     In the email I sent sub ron, he received a map and directions to My home with the following instructions:  

      Be here at 7 PM, not one minute before, not one minute after, and know this If you r late the gates will be locked and locked to you forever.        If you do get here on time, Park inside the gates, then lock the gates behind you.  Come up the stairs of the deck to the cottage open the door and come in you then will receive further instructions.

      Ron open the door to the cottage which to his delight MiLady was sitting on the bed with her back against what it seemed like  a hundred pillows…. dress in a hot pink and black lace corset with her breast push up almost to full view.  Her 8 inch Thigh high boots made his lips wet and his heart beat fast,  She sat there with one knee bent and even with the dimmed lighting and candles, ron could get a glimpse of her beautiful shaved pussy.  This slave was already hard and trembling with all sorts of fantasies.   But Milday was to teach him a dear lesson Punishment was the name of the game tonight. Never would he ever be a no show… Never would he disappoint her again.

      MiLady spoke with her deep southern drawl, she took complete control with one sentence, “Lock the door and strip”, “put your clothes in that basket”

      MiLady watched as ron stripped, he hadn’t worn any underwear, and though his man hood was a bit above average for sure, MiLady sensed ron was very proud of it.  “Look at me NEVER have your eyes down in this Mistress’ presence, Always focus on this Mistress”, The words stung the air and confused ron… he had always been taught to have his eyes lowered. This was something he had never experienced. It was unnerving; it was as if she could see right through his eyes into his very soul.  MiLady giggled as her eyes looked over this property. he was 37 and a fine buck of a male,  thick strong arms stocky build, but not fat, all muscle, his legs strong and long, ready to jump at My command.  But ron made a fatal mistake when MiLady’s eyes came over ron’s manhood, he could not help but move his cock up and down.  Trying to seduce this Mistress with his endowment.  MiLady just smiled as to give ron hope that his cock might get some relief tonight. 

      “Get down here and kiss the toe of My Boot”, ron was there in a heart beat, kissing the toe of the boot as if it was his Mistress’ lips. Then he was ordered to lick the toe of the boot and then lick all the way up to the top of the thigh high boot and back down.  "Now take the heel of my boot and take it deep in your mouth as if it was a cock.  MiLady kept ron at it for 30 minutes on one boot then the other.     
      “Take off my boots” ron unzipped one boot folded it carefully and laid it on the ground then the other boot. “Now start kissing my toes, then sucking them, licking in between them and finally kissing my ankles calves inner knees inner thighs back down to the toes but this time licking and sucking the toes.

There r two new pics  of me  number 8 and 9, if they allow them  I was in a bicycle accident & I am mending well but there are so many liars on the Internet I wanted NO one to think I was just saying I had an accident to keep from answering their messages.  I am bruised bad in the ribs and collar bone but nothing broke.  A Warm Thank you,  goes out to all those who said they were concerned and wished me a fast recovery.  MiLady

I am dominate, but when I am sick I am the biggest baby in the world.  I don’t get sick often but when I do it is a dozy.  I am feeling better, my fever has broken and I just have a runny nose.  I feel I am on the mend … I will be answering my emails and messages as fast as I can… MiLady

One day I was reading some words of wisdom that made me asked myself what is slavery? Was it just some game of kinky sex ownership? Not for Me,  a slave in My household is to be fully owned, trained used by me in whatever way I want.  He would be molded into My way of Life, he would be completely devoted to me, which means to do what he is told and serve Me with out hesitation,  he exists only to fulfill My every need.

Now I love to inflict pain with a variety toys and I am exceptionally sadistic.  I have found that pain has many uses in regards to a slave.  For one thing it will keep my slave in his place, it will be arousing to both the slave and to Me.  One thing for sure, the more pain I am able to inflict the “hotter” I get. Pain also allows My slave to show just how much he is willing to suffer for his Mistress and I find that very appealing.  It will, believe it or not, add passion and strength to our relationship of Mistress and slave.

I have had a few potential slave applicants who thought they had a true slave’s heart only to back out of the commitment, so I write this in my journal to explain what slavery is to this Mistress.  Have a nice day as my search continues.  MiLady 

Well it is almost Christmas here in Thailand and I have been sent some promising potential slave applicants.  I will not make a decision until I have met them face to face but all in all 2010 seems very promising.  Hope Everyone has a very Merry Christmas.

MiLady

There are some wonderful sounding potential slaves out there hope they r real but if not we will sort them out and have fun finding the right one for this Sadistic Mistress.  Remember Life is a Flower of which Love of any degree is the honey.
MiLady

I just received a message from the slave who was to come to Thailand on the 6^th of January, 2010.  He states he has lost his courage to leave and come to Thailand.  I wish him well in his Life. 

Hello everyone I have not forgotten those who are sending messages but there has not been enough minutes in the day and I am retired.  We have had friends visiting who are in the Lifestyle and we have part of our Poly family, robbie  
LOL  ...now where is a slave when u need one. Hopefully he will be here in January but if not My slave is out there and I will find him.  MiLady

Life is good, but then there is Thailand and you get a glimpse of what Paradise is like LOL

robbie is working out great and meeting the needs of Sir Wayne along with helping me with the daily chores.  We have 2 visitors coming into town, this week so we shall see how she does with them.  She really is part of our Poly family and I am growing to love her more and more each day.   I could not be more pleased  with robbie.  MiLady

Life has been very busy with robbie here in Thailand... It is so wonderful to have her here and she seems very happy and content to be with not only my Husband, Sir Wayne but with me also.  I have welcomed her into this family with open arms and assured her how happy I am to have her as Sir Wayne`s slave.  Off for a swim  MiLady

This Poly Family is almost complete, robbie, my hobby`s slave arrives at 11:45 pm tonight.  I can not wait till she is here... can you hear the happiness... robbie is not just my husband`s slave, but she has become a dear, dear friend and part of our family ever since I first met her on the Internet last  September.   she came with us in February 2009 to Thailand, when we looked for a home for us all to live together.  If any of you out there are thinking about a Poly family and have questions just send a message and I will be only to happy to answer them if I can.  I am no expert, but My husband and I have been working on the different aspects of having a Poly family for 5 years now and finally it is becoming real. 

The House of The Pride

MiLady