Venn01

Very Recently Updated – Please Read

I am a 37 year old experienced Dom who has been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for over a decade now. I live in the Central Orlando area of Orlando, Florida. I have a house and successful job, and at this point am seeking a sub/slave to have some fun with on a casual basis in order to complete what is my very content and happy life. I am looking for something discreet at the moment, until i know that the person i find is the sub/slave i want.

I would like to clarify up front the very basics of what I am looking for in a sub/slave. First off, a sub/slave MUST be female. While I have nothing against people who favor their own gender, I myself only like women. Secondly I am not a switch. I am only looking a female who is submissive or a slave. Thirdly, I am attracted to slender, petite, and athletic builds. I would like everyone to be comfortable in the body they have, I am just attracted to certain types and not attracted to others. Lastly, while age is not critical to me, my range is generally 18-36. In order to consider someone over 36, there must be an amazing connection and alignment of turn-ons. There is nothing wrong with being in one’s late 30’s or older, it’s just I would prefer someone closer to my ago with who I can relate to, or younger that I can guide.

Getting into the specifics of what I look for in a sub/slave I will start at turn-ons and fetishes. Let me first say it is more the person, dynamic, and relationship, than the specific fetish or act. Kinks, fetishes, and sex are just a small but important part of the equation. Due to the nature of the site, I’d rather discuss this first in hopes of keeping the reader’s attention. On a side note, just because something turns me on, does not mean it must be a like for my sub/slave. I have many turn-ons and not all need to perfectly align. Certainly the more that do the better, but it’s not an all or nothing kind of thing.

Obviously anything dominating or controlling is very much a turn-on for me. This can be things as simple as asking for permission for things including climaxing, eye contact restrictions, deep-throating, and anal sex. I do have a dark depraved side to me and this side of me loves humiliation of any kind. Rough/hard sex, fisting, gagging, bondage, watersports, full service toilet, ATM, flogging/spanking, caging, rape play, age play (let me stress play only, not real), daddy/daughter play (let me stress play only, not real), and other role play are all very arousing to me. Although mentioned above, I LOVE absolute and total control over my sub/slave. While not a complete list, it certainly captures most, but not all, of my favorite fetishes. Some other things I might not have a high interest in, but might be open to based on the wants/needs of my sub/slave and the situation. My only hard limits are no dead things, no permanent harm, and no children involved.

As I said above, none of these are a must should I find a sub/slave. Nor do I expect to take someone with an absolutely hard inflexible limit and try and change that over time. I am willing to press limits where there is room to press, and can respect absolute limits as well. For me it is all about the total package, not just the kinky sex. I’ve listed the above just so there is no question as to any of my limits should someone read.

As for my beliefs about the lifestyle, I believe this lifestyle is at least as much psychological as it is physical, even more so. Kinky sex is just a small part of it. In my opinion, a BDSM relationship requires better understanding of your partner and greater trust than any vanilla relationship. In a vanilla relationship, certain things are assumed or implied as compared to a BDSM relationship where often little to nothing is assumed or implied. A BDSM relationship can result in a deeper understanding and bond between two people than most realize.

Just take an act as simple as picking out what to wear to work. In a vanilla relationship, a person typically doesn’t even think about what their partner wears. In a BDSM relationship, if this is an area of exercised control, the Dom picks out what the sub/slave will wear (if she works). The Dom must understand what is appropriate for sub/slave, what will compliment her (if that is the intended goal). In turn, the sub/slave must trust her Dom to pick out something that will be appropriate, will allow her to feel comfortable and attractive (if that is the goal), and will still be desirable to the Dom. This simple act of getting dressed to go to work, in a BDSM relationship, can be a very powerful and emotional exchange.

I have nothing against vanilla relationships, and have had my fair share. It is due to the nature of this deeper connection, paired with the type of person who can related to my turn-ons, that I am looking for a connection only in the BDSM lifestyle.

While ideally I would like to find a long term/permanent arrangement, I am open to short term or no strings attached play sessions if the right person comes along. I am a very loyal person when in a relationship and do not cheat or lie. I am also very open to making friends here; new to the lifestyle or experienced makes no difference.