Anyone close to Dallas wanna have a mini-moving-munch? My sis and i are packing everything (not much) in a truck and headed to Lewisville. We will be there Sunday, and if anyone wants to come help us unload the truck Monday it would be a great way to meet people, we could get pizza or some kind of refreshments afterward!

(semi jest...could use the help tho)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8J4Qzt7sso&feature=related

  
VERY cool bedtime visuals, Epilectics Advised to Avoid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF3UxP3EaZc&feature=related

 
When i heard this i wasn't sure if it meant good or good-bye, Out of context it is awesome and worth a bump around the block!!

i am considering taking the advice some few people here gave me, when they found out about the nerves being damaged in my leg from the Live Nerve Agent training i went thru in the Corps, and will begin reading and learning about Dommeism, and maybe i will be a Dommeist.....if it doesn't work out, what have i lost?

ummm....oops wait...cap that, and that ....and cap that and that and maybe cap that too...

i find it unavoidably necessary to be off-line more often than not right now and probably thru the end of the month. Prayers please that i come out of this safe. Will be back when i can. Thank You all for Your patience and understanding. 

On a good note, a temporary stressful aspect of my life is about to be over!

Strange Charm: A Song about Quarks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kXkWXSXRA&feature=share

MS or CIDP... i am not sure, at this point, which one to root for....

Oh yah i remember why i came here this morning...DISCLAIMER: on my profile when it says i play role playing games and MMORPGs, i do not mean that in any sort of sex way. i REALLY do! Since i was 5 or 6...when did Pong come out? It progressed from pong to ET and raiders of the lost ark, and the wierd game with all the zodiac signs on the atari and has over the years went on to sega, pinball (while i was a runaway) a few select arcade games and PC and On-Line RPGs. For 2 years i was afforded one of the best jobs in the world imho, not the best paying but still very very sweet job, of being a game moderator and bug hunter for Cyberwarrior. Currently i play Ryzom and Asheron's call, still have accounts with too many games to name, mostly sandbox types.

 When i was a kid games wee fun but important for me was they taught me there are consequenses sometimes far in the future for things you do now. They let me experiment with concepts which are hard for me like good/bad, right/wrong, and it gave me practice getting objectives completed within the boundaries of 'the world' or the rules. Very much needed skills.

i need games the way others need ...whatever they do for recreation. During 2 semesters in college my grades were getting lowish, and i cut out all games so i could study more (makes rational sense), the next semester i did bad enough to lose my financial aid (below 2.0 semester grade). Since then i must schedual game time in or get it every so often or my brain will scatter badly.

 Sooo with all that said it makes me sad, but increases my understanding of some things people have said to me here and there over the years. Especially back in the Gorean chat rooms, part of the reason i stopped going to chat or find them was because i got sick of either lying about what i like to do in my free time, or if i did say, i got sick of getting harangued about being a 'player'.

Video game preference imo, has nothing to do with orientation, libedo nor with dominant/submissive traits. Since my games are for recreation right now, and i am not living out of the X-box box, with CD's for windows (yet)...i think my gaming is under control for the most part.

 Regardless of how many times i run a dungeon, or jump off the lighthouse and not die, or lag off a mountain and DO die...i will always just still be me.

Some people, please remember, us younguns grew up around them, games are a little bit part of our culture these days (if not why do they have ratings :p) so cut the younuns a little slack maybe if they say they like video games, MMOs, MMORPGs, FPS, rogue games, RPGs....And yes i liked the role playing books too...think they were called choose an adventure....read a page, make a choice, go to the indicated page repeat. it was a RPG before computers? LOL j/k on that last but yah soooo...imma go play a game now....
Serynna, yaraq, lots of bug armor on her, can't miss her unless you blink....had her ever since run was a useful skill and put WAY too much in it :p

Well i did it. i got it.  It was great having 3/4 kids here as well as gramma sis and mom. First Hubby (great friend) saved my little day from boy's dad which was awesomely cool in a 'he knows me so well still' kind of way.

i don't feel different but emptyish. i have scrambled to a height i have never been and , besides moving office furniture and official things i have never 'been' in a office or a lab with others. Not in a gloves and vacume suit kind of way. i have 'waiting time' before i move again to grad school. It behooves me to learn about social skills to survive the workplace. (Do i have to talk at the cooler? Why can't i take my droid and eat my lunch under the tree in the parking lot with headphones w/o a psych visit to come?)

{the next morning Holy crud half a paragraph is gone here Hmmm}...Something about using my occupation officially for the first time at the VA yesterday.....then in my ADD geeky me manner, we had a nice discussion about god and quantum things, and faith, and energy things and the bible :P

So close to here isn't much for now except financial relief (if things can float till it kicks in) and breathing room vacation time for my brain for a bit. Still stuck here marking time and i wonder if it is a good or a bad thing.

holy crap it is late, boy told me the movie was almost over at 915 and he is so in trouble...well we both should be in bed so i will edit this one later if i re-read it and remembe anthing else when the picture comes back while reading it.;)

Night all

     Sorry but i must do this...it saddens me to see all the talk about what to do with Bin Laden's remains. As a Marine i can completely understand the hate, and many of the feelings going around. However, to disrespect the body is unthinkable to me. Other bad people we do not respect....ie molesters, killers, and ...well hell we don't kill as many baddies as we maybe ought to but that is another journal entry...,
but AFTER we kill them or cause them to die in jail, we send them to God buried in a coffin, usually the family has responsibility for the body and we do not interfere with their wishes.
     Our job is over, we sent him to God for immediate judgement as instructed, now what the world needs most is to give him a bit less attention and give his victims, domestic and foreign some relief. (victims to include the ones who have been misled by him as well as hurt). Rebuild the souls and spirits of Man so this will never happen again. A very good place to begin is to leave the shell alone and be thankful it is not still animated.

On a seperate note.... 

TPE In my understanding it means Total Power Exchange.

So if a slave serves for X amount of years and gives all control and power she has to give and all is well...cool.

What does the TPE Master do if the slave is somehow rendered mostly disabled? Complete depedence IS indeed a TPE. However it comes with responsbilities, much like the power exchange before it REALLY became complete. Except this is not what was in mind. This situation is not acceptable. So really they either want the power but none of the responsibility, or they want, more correctly TCG,  Total Control Given.

Since i find myself in need of a very special and unique sort of person, and since in all reality it might be a while in coming, i have decided to look into hypnosis to manage my main needs til One comes.

On a seperate note....wait maybe i should make a seperate note....or a voce thing...hmmm prolly should wait on voice thing....dunno

"The eyes are the windows of your face." C.W.

to be open:
i have had at least 1  CIS 8 years ago  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinically_isolated_syndrome

)
the x-ray they took is clear.
the next test is a MRI if lesions are found then girl will be diagnosed with MS
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/do-i-have-ms/index.aspx

just so You know...

But in the end everyone ends up alone
Losing Him, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not and who I wanna be
No way to know how long til He'll be next to me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, where were you? Where were you?
Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me!

Why'd you have to wait to find me, to find me?

The Fray (ish)

"It demands so much of my faith to keep believing, keep hoping in the unseen. Sometimes the tunnel has a light at the end, but usually they just look black as night. This song is about that feeling, and the hope that I still have, buried deep in my chest.” Isaac Slade

i know other s-types are on here for insidious reasons and frankly it lessens my credibility. So...it should be known upfront that at this moment in time one very good reason to take things slow and make friends is because i have a court case in the works and i have a move planned after that (dunno where yet, grad school). Also have student loans. The good part is i have my own income and can take care of it myself...the bad part....most don't 'get' it....and if something got started before i take care of these things, and then didn't work for whatever reason...then i appear to possibly be 'one of them'...which i am not....so unless someone else has a better idea....i figure the best thing is to explain it, and then go slow and make friends right now unless it is understod that i can and will finish those responsibilities and they not be added to Yours ...yah something like that...:)

truely my jaded self thinks what i am looking for doesn't exist, just some crazy thing my idealistic side dreamed up...it is amazing the fights those 2 sides have with each other....right now they are taking bets as to if i'll be alone the rest of my life...then the rational side comes along and says " Well DUH! That is why God gave you 4 beautiful children! Get over it, it really isn't that important in the end....now back to physics!"

Thank You very much to all the People who have read my profile and written letters to me. This weekend is the one each month where slave has all weekend with Boy and not have to take him to his dads. Differential Equations is kicking my butt and if anyone would like to explain seperation of variables and the stupid complex algebra my teacher uses...or better yet an easier way *g* i am all ears. However i have set aside next weekend when i am alone to answer mail. Please if You see Your letter has been read and not responded to have heart and patience with me please.... or write to me and tell me You insist on an immediate reply if that is how You feel. (that will help also *WEG). So until next weekend, unless i catch up on the DE which knowing the teacher will be close to impossible for me. As of now i have gotten all of the problems done that will actually be graded, but still have about 20 to do that were assigned for practice to do by tuesday. Thank You very much in advance for Your patience...or not! Have a great weekend/holiday!

i hate editing my profile, so untill the comlications get less complicated, i'll just say, i am not completely owned and not completely free...sorta like limbo (not the game...and not fun) Patience will prevail ...and if anyone wishes to know more i have no problem explaining.

Sometimes
Honor hurts...Integrity hurts...and doing the right thing hurts the most.

P.S. I am behind on mail (for ^^^ reasons); for those who i have said i will write, i will. Classes begin for me this week so please be patient. For those who have sent inappropiate one liners or degrading things, well you were the lucky ones that got your reply back swiftly and respectfully. (thought of a great new game so those types don't frustrate me but instead challenge my mind :-p

What is a good city, with a good grad school? Seems I'll be graduating earlier than expected. Yay!....maybe...(field of study = physics)

Random Thoughts From This Semesters Break of Reading

(really only the last few days and the heavier long lasting thougths from before since i have to brain-dump regularly)

i can't wait till i don't have to brain dump regularly
i reserve the right to make up words which act in a descriptive capacity, and use them to try to put the pictures in my head into words...which sucks, they have no tone or inflection when typed, i suppose i could find a font which conveyed tone but then every few sentences would be different and what screams one tone to me would say something else to you...so yah...
It IS hard for new people here...and occasional posters....and hard to post with a iphone...              

i want to test the effects of posting something in many forums, inter-subjectmental, spanning all demographics. Something basically saying everone is right and has a valid truth and i think the data of the responses would be awesome patterns to analyze...But alas i am not a sociologist, they do that right? But the results would be interesting to say the least.                                                   

If you get flamed for asking relationship advice for onesself, i believe the term i read over and over was "airing laundry", but not necessarily so when asking because of a dynamic one has seen..."my friends have this problem....", Then...Then it should be ok to ask for personal advice but one would have to lie about it and say it was their friend? ...hmmm
Why is the willingness to give good advice dependant on if it is the advicee's personal relationship.
hmmm...way not enough time...to be continued :)

Please give me freedom, and take my choice. give me sound, and take my voice.

Please give me rest, and let me not wake.
Take all that is Yours, and Own what You take.              

So this ones friend and neighbor were chilling out and she heard this ones bells and this just sort of happened...as a girl cannot stop laffing about it she figured she'd put it here (ongoing project *grins*)

....Slavey Christmas....
(tune of winter wonderland)

Slave bells ring, are You listenin'
on the floor, a slave is strippin
oh what a sight, there'll be spankings tonight,
slaves walkin round in Masters underware.

In the front yard we can build a snow slave,
and form her hips to be so nice and round...