TyrAnasazi

I want to establish something RIGHT NOW! Just because I have a Poodle does not mean I am gay of want male gay slaves to attempt to hit on me! I am very straight and I found myself blocking all submissive males just to stop the gay males thinking that I am interested! I am far from homophobic, but I do not appreciate your interest!

This is something I posted a few years ago in my early post. I hope it is helpful to some.

The Dominant

Above all else He cherishes his submissive, in the knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all. 
He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.

He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that He may control others.  As a stern and demanding Dominant, He can cause his sub to cry real tears.  As the consummate lover, He will kiss those tears away, without ever stepping out of character.

To win his submissive's mind, body and soul, He knows He must first win her trust.  He will show his submissive humor, kindness, and warmth.  He must also show her that his guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that He is a man that she can learn from, and trust His
direction.

He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous.  When called upon, He will fight for His ladies' honor.  He proves to her that He is someone that she can lean on, and depend on.

He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet modern enough to respect his woman.  Quick to point out the difference between them, He knows that there is no inferiority in those differences.

When it comes time to teach his submissive her lessons of obedience, he is a strong and unyielding professor.  He will accept no flaw, nothing less than perfection from his student. Never does He use discipline without a good reason. When He does, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.

He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern.  He knows how to use pain to extend the bounds of pleasure.  He is a mentor who can bring her to the edge of her envelope, and gently show her the inner courage to reach new heights.

He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs.  He is patient, taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of him grows, so will  they.  He
never has to demand ritual behavior by her.  She responds to him out of the want of pleasing him. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of unishment.  He understands the fragile nature
of mind and body, and never violates the trust given to him. He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life, and also courageous enough to accept assistance.  Open minded enough to learn new
things, strong enough to grow.  His tools are mind, body, spirit and soul. with a little help from rope, paddle and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains from pleasuring the other. and both of them know that love is the only binding that truly holds.

Sub's Rights

You Have the Right to Demand Respect: No Dom/me may demean, abuse, harangue or hassle you in any way.  You are a sub, but should be treated with dignity and respect at all times.

Choose:  No Dom/me may demand! your service.  It is most precious and is yours to bestow.  If you are not giving it willingly, then you are not giving it at all, it is being taken from you.  D/s is about giving.

Safety:  No Dom/me should ever compromise your safety.  You have the right to protect yourself and to take whatever measures are necessary to do so.

Put your real life first: No Dom/me may demand that you put aside your family, job or other real life concerns for them.  Your first responsibility is to maintain job, home and family.

Know what is expected of you.

No Dom/me should expect you to be a mind reader.

Above all: Communicate with each other so there are no misunderstandings about anything you wish to share.

The world has lost a good slave

Yesterday we lost a good friend and a good slave. At 3:40 AM EST on August 14, 2007 tinyone died peacefully in her sleep. Now she was not a flamboyant slave on this site, but she sought what she considered to be a good Master. She leaves behind a son and a sister. She was a friend to many, and owned by none. She gave herself to many in chat, and opened a group that was to help new submissive and slaves to understand who they were and what the wanted. With her passing her family has removed her profile, so we ask for your prayers for them. May they live and love what she was, and for those of us that knew her remember only the good.

I do understand the frustration of a lot of girls (ladies) now on this site. I set down parameters of who I would not be interested in talking with. I no longer care about excuses why you don?t have a picture! I no longer care why you have fantasy art as your picture! Don?t show me an old picture! Don?t ask if I do couples! Now if you are a gay male, and are looking for a friend not a Master I do have gay friends! Yes I would enjoy a good slave or sub, but get real. If you can not read or just follow a simple request I will NO LONGER answer! Many have enjoyed my post, and that is what they were here for, but if you do not show the respect that I am willing to give to those that I do not own, then you can never meet the respect I would give to mine! 

I am now of the assumption that many people don?t read profiles or journals. I am not on here because I am desperate, and I do not send a plethora of e-mails out looking for subs, but I am polite and answer all that e-mail me.  In the years I have been here there have only been a few that have sparked my interest, and just to let you understand they are from a diverse background. It tends to bother me when I get an e-mail from a man interested in me, or from a man asking if I want his wife, girlfriend, sister or mother. I am here for reasons that are my own. Yes I do look almost daily, but I do not spend time e-mailing most of what I see. I do know the best one got away! I guess what I am saying here is Yes I do want a sub, but I am patient. I don?t want speak two times and we are under consideration. I had one that we exchanged over 100 e-mails in a week, but because she did not inform me of something in conversation it fell apart. I believe in communication if someone plans to be 24/7, and that will let me know if we can live under the same roof. If I want a dog I would buy one! Please learn to read profiles and speak only to those that offer what you wish, and not push what you feel on others. It is not the best way for anyone.

It?s been a while since I have had the mind to make a note in my journal, and I see on the last one I did I received a few responses looking to see if people could tap into my mind. Well I am see I am going to have to make a blanket statement of what I am willing to accept and what I would prefer not having to contact me. First and foremost I am not gay or bisexual, so guys if you contact me do it as a friend. I am not interested in any male subs or slaves, so please look elsewhere. Next, I have stated if you contact me have a picture on your profile. I tend to keep mine fairly updated so people are not surprised if they meet me. I would expect the same respect. I had a person tell me she had her?s shared with someone else without her permission. There are submissive and slaves on this site that actually know me from chat, and during the time I did chat I collected a number of pictures of friends. The one thing that anyone that knows me can say is I never have sent a picture out without permission, and I would prefer sending a person?s picture back to them so they can share it. In a few cases I had to ask the person to prove who they are, since they were using a different name. I know a few people around find pictures on the web, and in one case we found someone who was sending her daughter?s picture. If I am really interested and we make a connection, I am willing to go on my web cam, but I will not do it just because. I would expect the same from you. People that are not willing to show themselves I am very suspect of. This is the internet, and I have seen people be what they dream of being. I personal I am an open book, and when I find the one I seek she will know in more ways than one. She will be open with herself, and not hide behind art or the guise of figure what I look like. Finally, I am not interested in any one in Africa; I know that is one of the main places ?scams? are started. I laughed when I replied to a lady and she was telling me if ?love? were to happen who care where a person is from. Being a proper Dominant gentleman, I will show the respect of responding to anyone that sends an e-mail, but I will not take anyone serious that can not follow the level of respect that I give or expect.

I will say I have not disappeared from collarme, but things in my life have changed. It is not necessarily for the worst, but I will not have time for anyone who does fit the criteria that I set of what I really want in a sub/ slave. Now since I am a 24/7 father of a 17 year old, I have to manage myself in the same manner I would with a sub. A Gentleman setting an example as I teach what I feel life should be like, but with her around I would be doing it so she learned the same self respect, and restraints that I was taught. This child is a hard case to teach, since she is cut from the same mold as my mother (a young Mistress.) This is taking a lot of patience. I told myself when I considered this journey I would not accept anyone that I could not see as much of a friend and mate as a submissive or slave. I have lived up to that, and many that have responded to me I do not see the potential of that type of relationship. Some there is too much Drama that is seen. I am not looking to deal with ?Drama Queens.? There was one that was quality, but her 24/7 would show no respect to her child better yet mine, No thanks. I still seek a quality lady that is a sub or a slave, but while I look I am looking for one that has the qualities that know how to use the unspoken word to communicate properly and live life so she and her Master can survive in the everyday world.

   One of the reasons I stopped posting before is PEOPLE DON?T READ!!!!!

I said I do not want to speak with people with no photo unless you send one, well guess what the manners now are going out the window. I don?t care who said not to send one, so if that is an excuse... back off!!! I have seen submissives complain that Doms (or should I say Dumbnants) don?t read, but do you? It is not what you look like I place current pictures up so you can see; I would expect the same courtesy. I may just respond with a nasty note now, but as a Gentleman I will just ignore you.

      Next I am going to post a stupid question I got in the first conversation. Do you have a problem with large breasted voluminous women?  How the hell would I know if I don?t know the person? I am more interested in who you are than what you look like. If you have an A or a GG why should I worry as long as are a good sub, and we click.

     It has been a while since I have had anything to say. I realize as I get older what I don?t want, but now I can also say what I want. When you do a self evaluation, you look deep into what you are and what will work for you. In the last few years on the web I have found many people that play games. Many submissive as well as slaves play the roll for cyber sex. There are even more that present one picture, but when you see them they are not at what they presented. I have seen women (men as well) that use other people?s pictures or pictures so old that when you see them they are totally different. I am one that if I chose I will go to one of my chat programs and show you what you see is what you get!  Next I am getting accustom to reading the e-mails that are scams from Nigeria and before the money game comes I have it learned to pick those out.

     I explain I am looking for not only my sub/slave, but a life mate. As I get older I seek the same quality that I did when I was young, but now I am looking at her mind more than her body. Youth has its advantages, and a good potential Master should not just weigh that, but also the words that a girl uses to gain his attention. I still look at many new profiles, and there were a few that just presented themselves, but then there was nothing but a picture and a few words. They offer nothing to just reach out and get the true attention of a Dom looking at the person. If you peak my curiosity, then I am going to ask. I want to see the total picture as I am looking for more than a toy, but I am looking for ?the one? that I can dance with into my dreams. a sub so nice she makes me proud just how she carries herself, and presents U/us to the public. As a Dom I will also have to present myself to honor her. Slave or sub it makes no difference, she has to feel she can look at me and be happy that it is I who has her hand. Now I will say to those who come only offering looks, they change with time. Some of the ugly ducklings in school are the ones that come out the swan. But your health is important.

     Now art is nice, but if I get art and not your pictures, I am going to say you have something to hide. Patience is something I exercise and my friend canyouguess (a name change) has set the standards of what I seek. Her inner beauty is greater than her exterior, but she is something that any man in his right mind would look at. Again I point out in her heart and her soul her Master is one that is can be proud how she honors Him. This is what I want. A good submissive will be hard to find.

Ad captandum vulgus

Today I had a refreshing e-mail from a slave why she didn?t have a profile, and I agree many do not read what you are about. They see a face or a body and go from there. I will be the first to admit I like to read a sub/slaves profiles so I can get to know a bit about her if I do send an e-mail. Without anything o go on how can I see how a person thinks. She started off that many Doms do not read and return with comments and mis-spellings what they will do. I find this repulsive and ignorant. These are the people I have called Dumbnants from the beginning. I learned strategy at a young age, and to approach someone you should know a bit about that person, and how they think. Many here are just out for online play and cyber, but there are many of us that are serious about the lifestyle.

To me a submissive is more than a pretty face and a body; she should be my best friend, mate and what I wish to develop her into. This takes a high degree of trust and communication. I admit I get bored easy of cookie cutter subs on the web. Most I can read in what they say what web site they have read, or if they received all their training in chat rooms. I guess I lack the interest in dealing with those that are so dogmatic in their reasoning that they do not go beyond the surface in their research. I will admit I may be too picky, but why settle for something that I find I can not communicate with, or someone who seems to think they know it all from a past abusive relationship. There is a difference between abuse and BDSM, and I tend to worry about entering a relationship with the one. They are taught wrong, and expect the same. I had one girl ask what would I do if she made me mad with something she did. I let her know I would have to cool down first, I will never administer a punish mad. I appreciate the more intelligent submissive here that understand there is more to the lifestyle than sex, whipping or bondage. My past slaves/subs will tell you I am one that will go for the mind when I punish. If a girl is strong and can reason she learns with out too much pain, but the ones I avoid I would have a tendency to brake. To the ladies I actually chatted with this morning in E-mail I give you my greatest respect and hope we can talk on a normal bases, to the ones that are too weak, needy or dogmatic that feel the need to attack what I or do or the fact that I actually do have a life besides the internet. After 10 years I am finding chat boring, and tend to do it when I have nothing better to do, but show me you are something different, and I will at least listen. There are few out there that I will say can get my attention, and there are those that get it, but push to get things that I am not ready to give. I feel it takes 2 to build a strong BDSM relationship, and I feel I am empowered to know when and where I want to do what. If you are a good strong sub/slave you will know with a real potential Master when to push and when to sit back and allow him to work how he feels necessary. Remember that a good relationship is like a circle, never ending and growing as one.  

Aut disce aut discede

Amicus certus in re incerta cernitur

Since we are all seeking something special in life, I am always evaluating what I want. It is hard to go through the subs/slaves on line that come to me in chat rooms and from other programs when there is so much you see that does not really appeal to you. The phony pictures and the games. So many ladies will not just show what they look like on cam, and when they do it is usually naked. I tell my friends that know me real life, and my closest buddy a fellow Dom that is local and I laugh. I was fooled once by a very old picture that someone that was one thing was something totally different. I guess I am very cautious or is it that I am very picky? I actually was looking for someone to party with over the new years, I had a number of destinations in mind, including visiting my best friend in Denver, but there were too many red flags put in place. I guess many women on line think you are desperate when you are looking, or in chat. I guess that many don?t see that some of us are here just to pass time.

I still would love to find the right submissive or slave that complements me from this site, but looking through the weeds there are few that I would consider flowers. I know that comment is going to cause some controversy, and comments coming back at me, but take into consideration we all have our personal taste. I look more at the inner person than the frame, and I have talked to a few here that I have put on ignore, and others I just stopped talking to. If I wanted a beauty queen they are a dime a dozen in my area, and they are competing for men. My problem is here in Palm Beach I see what I call ?cookie cutter? blondes. They are all from the same mold. Boring, but still I have a few as friends, so dating to me is calling one of my bartender friends from the Cheetah Club and say lets go out. I know at least with them I can party and I got to know the person. On line there is a façade that everyone puts up. I am me because I am too busy to try to be someone else; I am usually on from work. I will not settle for less that I am hoping for since I know my friends stand behind my choice of a girl with a mind and not just a body.

What I am saying here is when I send an e-mail to someone I am looking to see what the personality is, and if we can click mentally. As my best friend in Colorado would say about me. ?G, why do you pick the plain women when their friends look better and are asking me why doesn?t your friend talk to me.? My answer to that is PERSONALITY!? I guess that is why there are 3 slaves/subs here I am very confortable with and would rather be alone and their friend than settling for less that a good soul!

Peace

Amicus verus est rara avis

My last journal entry I just removed. It seems that some people interpreted me taking a look and reevaluating who I am as a weakness. Think about it people. We are always looking at ourselves, and in my case I am looking to be stronger and better. I have been in the lifestyle my whole life, so I know who I am. Yet I choose to be alone, and why is that? I have noticed that many on the web think of the BDSM lifestyle as vogue. I have found that many that want to chat with me are not what they say, and the real ones suffer. I have been chatting on the mIRC lately, and many of the ladies there are married, posers or there is something I have spotted that I would have nothing to do with. There are a few that I find to be genuine are rare. Why do women come to BDSM sites, and chat programs claiming one thing, and being totally the opposite? Yes I do want a new wife, but I want her to at least be a submissive. I am even now noticing women here looking, and right up front they tell you they are ?vanilla.? So ask yourself, why are they here? I am beginning to believe that I may not belong in a ?dating? site. I am not looking for casual, nor am I looking for strictly sex. That has been too easy for me to find from the time that I became interested. There are some submissives that are desirable, but also knowing that the Dumbnants are also writing them I sit back, and just see who is what. Being in South Florida, I would expect many more, but I know 2 personally that are away from the site and left the lifestyle for Dumbnants that they have met here. Some of us take this lifestyle serious, so when I stand on my soap box I am not a ?happy camper.? So take heed. If you wish to contact me I will respond as a measure of respect that you have written, and self respect that I feel as a good Dom I have to respond. Many of you I may just give a polite conversation as a response, but there may be one or two that I might want to know more. If we communicate for a period of time, I may take you serious. I am no longer interested in chatting on yahoo, msn or aim because I get so many phonies that I am avoiding even the real ones there. Have a picture. I show you enough respect to have one, so do the same. Don?t make excuses, I am a Dom, and I may just tell you what I truly think. I will say this as an ending point today. I have a few that I chat with here as well as they have my yahoo, or msn they deserve to be there. Yes as anyone I would enjoy the pleasure of a good sub/slave, but are there any out there that are NOT claimed?

Things can get interesting at times. My Journal attracts some of the most interesting people. I try to be polite when I ?blow off? submissives, and for the most part it works. Well there was a lady that about a year ago came to me and wanted to chat, after a few conversations she was gone. I thought no more of it. Well last weekend she returned asking me if I thought she was worthy of talking to me. Well let?s point out what was wrong in this picture. 1^st I avoided her before for a few reasons, and they were still there, so what has changed. 2^nd she was gone for a year, and it had no affect on who I am. Finally, she was collared and her collar was just removed a few days prior by a married Dom and her profile stated it. I don?t understand why someone would willing become the properity of someone that is married, and then not be able to accept that that is what they knew going into the situation. Well she comes to me and in her letters she asked me if she was worthy. I had changed my profile to not seeking. I did that because the majority that came to me I felt had problems I had no time for. In an attempt to be a Gentleman, I was polite and tried to have her talk herself away. After 4 e-mails, I finally hit my good friend. IGNORE!!!!! Here is a question, why are some submissives so dense that they can not take a polite hint and may be become a friend? To me I?d rather have a friend I can respect than a ?needy? woman that can?t be alone and learn friends can become more. I may not be a kid, but I would say the type that are ?Mrs. Robinson looking hard and will take a man young enough to be their child because they are afraid of being alone. Not all of us over 50 are married, and I will settle for nothing less than quality of a good friend to be my submissive and mate.

Urbanus et instructus

I have a lot of interesting e-mails that have arrived since this mornings rant, but let me say this some of you have guessed who, but being a gentleman I will not stoop to the level that he has and say his name here on collarme. I know a few of the names that you ladies have used, but Is it really proper to show someone the same lack of courtesy that hey show O/others? At that point you are stooping to their level. We are all supposed to be mature adults, and in his first verbal attack I didn?t respond in kind, but don?t push too far. I am not a sadistic ba****d, but I have a streak that you do not want to test. This was tested as I am again sitting and answering all of you that are asking me who. Instead of asking me who he was ask yourself this submissives and slaves as well. Can you give your submission to someone that disrespects you in their first communication? Is this someone you can trust with your best intrest? At this point I will depart this rant.

Faber quisque fortunae suae

Ab absurdo

This morning I went into my bulk mail again, and this is the first time I had to block a Dom, wait let me rephrase that a true Dumbinant. A few months ago a slave that I know well came to me with a very disrespectful e-mail from a so called mature man (56 years old) in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and when she was appalled by his request she asked me to say something on her behalf. Well when the first e-mail was respectful to him this Dumbinant showed his true colors as some weak racist that has a desire to abuse anyone that gets in his way. I have encountered his type before, and I responded to his threats. Well again he attacked trying to show his man hood. He attacked again. Why do people hide behind keyboards? I actually have a life and I do not see the internet as my life. I am on at work and when I get off if I have nothing better to do I am here. I guess this is why I rant and say what I feel am I here to please with my words no, nor am I trying to win a popularity contest. I think men who have to show their dicks (cocks or what ever you call it) to get a submissives attention the first time they send an e-mail have a definite problem, and need to find a way to think with the big head and not the little one (it probably doesn?t work anyway, and that?s why they show it.) These are the same ones that want to command before they talk, I guess they have no control any other places in their lives. The ?hen pecked? husband, or the guy that blames affirmative action for his failure, so he looks for some control which will make him feel good about himself. Nothing else he can. A sense of power for the powerless can be dangerous for a weak person. This is the Napoleon complex the little man trying to be something bigger than he is. L/ladies be careful when dealing with this type, they will be the biggest threat to your safety and health. I am too much a Gentleman to give names, so I will leave it at this. A weak man shows his muscles, but a strong man shows his mind.

Ut sementem feceris, ita metes

Cras amet qui nunquam amavit; Quique amavit, cras amet

Now I feel I said all the negatives that I have to say, I can get back to the business at hand. I know I step on a few toes and some of them that were not met to be stepped on, but there are times when something has to be done. Yes like any other Dominant I seek quality, and no I am not a ?playa? so if you are walk on by. I do enjoy chatting with good people, but if you give me a reason I will walk away, and shut you down. I seek my muse, my inspiration not just to be a quality Master, but to be a more successful person in all aspects of my life. I have been on the net now 10 years this month, and I have seen all the games. I am not into the internet ?subbie? that plays the cyber games and phone games. I have never had phone sex or cyber sex, and I never will. I focus on my work, and she will have the rest of my attention. I do not necessarily seek arm candy, but I do not want someone who does not present themselves well. I start few conversations with subs/slaves but not switches as a potential partner. I will speak with Doms and Dominatrix as well as equals or if they have offended a friend I will bring it to their attention. I will talk with anyone, but I give respect where respect is due. I feel that anything I need to know about a girl should come from her in chat or e-mail, and some things that people hide are as bad as lies. If you want to know anything about me ask. I don?t care how bad it is I will tell you. I feel I am not on line to please anyone, but the one who I get off line with will be the one I please. By the way as far as Drama! Take the Drama to yo Mamma! I won?t play it.

Credula vitam spes fovet et melius cras fore semper dicit

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem

I am finding as I get older I have less patience for stupidly, and lazy people. I had to inform a person a number of times that they had put themselves in a position that I would no longer tolerate, but she continued to try to get my attention. Now in the real world stalking is not tolerated, and the way I was brought into the lifestyle is when a slave (and yes she is a slave) is told no she listens. I find it repulsive when someone calls me sweet, and I do not tolerate that from anyone, but did she take the direction? I think this will answer that. My question to you subs, slaves Doms and Dominatrix is this. How would you feel if someone never took the initiative to start an e-mail, but everything from that person in your box was a response with a note they wanted to start? I personally fine this lazy and totally un acceptable. But she saw it as something that she could get away with. It had gotten to the point I stopped reading them. Can you say ?junk mail?? Even though she was told she continued to do it. Last night in the middle of the night my ex stepson called me and woke me up to talk. After the conversation I couldn?t fall directly back to sleep so I looked in my e-mail (again a e-mail marked re: .) Next problem, when I care for someone I will show it in other ways that have to reinforce daily some needy desire to have to say it over and over again. This person had a health issue; as soon as I found out I got the hospital number and called her. After her release I have a certain time I make calls, and I would speak with her when I could. She lives with a sister that has different health issues, and I guess her sister was afraid of losing her, but I was told NOT to call there any f***ing more. Alrightythen the calls stopped. If the calls stop and she would never make an effort to call me why waste my time? But yet I?m wrong and am supposed to kiss a slaves arse. I don?t think so. How the hell does this girl expect me to bow down towards her?  Now this is just the beginning, let?s return to the re: situation. One day in my e-mail I got a re: of journal entries that were obviously directed at me, and I just looked and can we say again junk mail? It was already old. But it didn?t end there, she went to stalking me on one of 3 chat programs I use, I have always said I am not sweet, and it offends me to no ends when I am called that. But last night she changed her who is to the most offensive thing I ever saw, and came in the channel with me and pointed it out to make sure I saw it. Then the private comments started. The slave was stalking a Dom. In the past I made it clear that she was not going to be collared, but after last night I called here on her stalking! Now many of my rants are general, but this is more to those Dumbnants/slaves/subs who just continue to go on and on when they are told no. In some cases I block and ignore people, but I have seen and heard of people who will add and change profiles just to continue to present this type of immature behavior. I am a Dom not a child. I am not here just to meet ?the One? but to see what people have to say and know other?s opinions in the lifestyle. As far as needy women please keep it away from me. She who sits at my side will be one that can handle my good times and bad times. She will be my princess, slave, mate, friend, lover and wife. I seek a certiant quality as far what I desire, and a lazy person that does not listen or care will never work. I can go vanilla and get the same if not better.

Aut disce aut discede

Amor ordinem nescit

The other day someone asked me what I look for in a submissive. Now to some that can rattle off exactly what they are looking for I am one that has to think about it. I know a bit more of what I am not looking for. As I get older the tolerance level diminishes, and from past experiences the list grows. I know there are some quality ladies out there, but they are rare, few and far between find them. I guess this is why I am able to just be alone. I don?t need a sub to be a Dom, but to be a Master I have to have the right sub.

How can you tolerate a woman that calls herself a slave and she makes no effort to stay in touch with you, you inniticiate all communications and all she does is ?re? you. I find that trifling lazy and inexcusable. This is also the type that never returns a call, not has other people making excuses for them not being able to talk. In the mean time they follow you around chat rooms and want to say that you are ignoring them. Responding to your e-mails how they are being ignored. Can someone say needy type 1?

 The next type is ?lil miss drama queen.? She gets the attention and does nothing but bringing drama into the picture. She is jealous of your friends, but behind your back she has so many men she forgets what lie she tells who. She has yahoo and msn to play her games on camera she plays to display her ?charms?, and ask do you have a cam show me your cock, (dang I don?t have a fricking rooster I live in the city.) Yes I have a cam, and I will show you I?m real, but cam, phone and cyber sex I find a waste of my time. Thus this type of girl can justify everything, and try again to make it seem like your fault. Thus another No Thank You.

Players are fun they come talking a good game, but will they put up? Heck now, they will shut up if things get too intense. Some will admit they know nothing, and others know it all, but if you ask me it is all a game to them. Some have Doms they live with and are looking to get out of a situation for another ?sucka? that will fall for their stories and others want to see if they challenge you. This is a dangerous category since you usually won?t see it until it?s too late.
The type that tops from the bottom is just as bad, her challenging you to brake you. This type is either ?over the edge? or will see once she gets you if you will be her ?nilla? lover. Can we say once again needy?

I can say give me communication and someone I can work with. A girl that does not have many limits, but the ones she has that conflict with mine are flexable. I would prefer a slave that I can communicate with as a sub. She will wear many hats besides slave. She will be my friend, my mate, my lover and my ?partner in crime.? I will only accept one that in my eye will be perfect as all that. Yes I look at the person and the eyes other that than communication is king.   

Adversus solem ne loquitor

Abyssus abyssum invocat

Another day another rant, I came across a couple of situations yesterday which I find that some people who call them self submissives and slaves can be very crude and immature. I find myself in a way feeling sorry for them, and in other ways I see that they just need to look at them self and see how they look to others.

I will start with an e-mail I received here from a girl that was released by her Master, I have no idea why, she I guess read my profile and saw how I speak of the lifestyle, and how I am. Well she asked me if I knew this Dom who she said spoke highly of me, and warned me that he was a ?wanna be.? To me this is a scorned woman that is seeking revenge. I know many Doms on line as well as in reality and to give me just a yahoo name is just weak. If you have to lower yourself to insult someone please do not come to me with it. Do a journal, put it somewhere where people will see it if you feel it will make you feel better, but keep it out of my face.

Next situation is one that shows people lack of respect in them self. People that know me understand I curse in two situations, when I am pissed and when I am tired. I refrain as a matter not only for respect for O/others but respect for myself. There was an article on MSNBC the other day discussing how the mentality and morality of people has slipped over the last 20 years. It discussed that cursing has gone up and people have lost respect. This article actually confirmed my personal beliefs that people will lower themselves in an attempt to make them self feel better.  Now when a person who feels they have the authority of power uses this type of behavior it says even less of them. Why would one belittle them self in an attempt to vex another? I guess many do not see how simple they look to others. Because of this I received a plethora of apologies from other Ops and submissives, and people were telling me to feel sorry for the one. I still refuse to lower myself to the standards of those who lack self respect. It is the measure of the man to grow in his own quality than to lower himself to that of others...

Cave quid dicis, quando, et cui

Amore animi arbitro sumitur, non ponitur

Today can actually turnout to be an excellent day if all goes right. I am happy that many read my last rant. Although it was directed, a few felt the feeling that it was directed to them. This has made life a bit easier. I state I am not directly looking because I have my personal goals, and self growth which I find a priority. I do not need a sub or a slave to complete me, but one that will complement me would be appreciated. Many here may read my words and when they do I get many people making comments, but do they really know the Dom behind the man? I am not one that is going to make demands that I will not follow myself. This is what a good Master will do. He is a leader, a coach, an example, and a ?daddy? Thus he makes the one he chooses an extension of himself. This works both ways as the Chinese Ying/Yang the never ending circle where one ends the other begins. There should be no brake, but a smooth transition from you to yours.

Last night I received this from a novice Domme who I actually feel after talking to her she could be a queen ?I will be a mean, nasty, money making bitch..?  I found this to be interesting as some would say Money is power, but can money always gain you respect? I have said in earlier comments I have made do not call me Sir because I am a Dom, call me that only when I earn it. I can be a stern evil sadistic B**tard when pushed or felt I have been used, but unless a girl decides to push who I am out there you will never know. I show them respect by also not disrespecting their names when I rant about something. There is a big difference between gentle and weak. I do not own you so I will be gentle when we talk, but I will not back down from some idiot or bimbo that feels they can say what ever. I do make comments at times to new people or profiles I find interesting, but I will assure most of you I would find as someone that would be a friend. I talk bout Shilod?s slave first chair on a constant basis, she is the one I go to when I want a slave/sub to talk to. Her Master knows we laugh and joke, but there is no disrespect there from any of the 3 parties. There are parts of her I see as what I like, but I also like to find a girl that has her own personality. The one that sits at my side will earn the respect that she gives, and there will be no games from the beginning to the end. I will seek her heart? mind and soul and offer my strength?.

Amor est vitae essentia

Qui dedit benificium taceat; narret qui accepit

I am actually getting tired of the crap I see on many online subs, and slaves. I discuss the things I see on Dumbinants on a regular basis, but there is another side of the picture. I am not looking, seeking or caring. I do accept candidates that want to talk, but when you talk to those who have gotten past just the casual courteous conversations you will see a different person. I am who and what I am, and if you start dealing with the real person what I look for to start is a deep emotional bond first and foremost. Before I can work with someone I need to know the quality of that person. I was taught that the collar is a stronger bond than a wedding ring in most cases, so I do not take anything lightly when talking. Personally I would rather run you away early and show you that you are not worthy of me than waste my time playing games. Am I cocky? I would not say that, but what I would say is that I am one that has no time for games, players or those that are too weak to deliver what I request. I have a very few friends here on collarme, and if you have any questions if I am real ask sadiesue and firstchair before knocking on my door. I will say that since many feel important being chased by the tops, I need not chase you, I will not chase you, and I don?t need you. I have said don?t call me sweet nor cute and I had to block a sub because she was condescending in that respect. Yes I have yahoo, MSN, and AIM messengers, if you actually rate getting added on 2 of the 3 (The last is strictly for business so when I leave the office I turn it off.) Then respect the fact that I am at the office and work on it as well. This is becoming a problem. I am not an online Dumbinant so don?t think the games that you present will be appreciated. I will make friends, but again I am very picky of who of you get there. Why am I saying this? Well I am women coming to me and just playing the game to learn what they want, if you have a question ask the question straight out! I chat on the mIRC and I do chat with a few Doms, and very few submissives or slaves. Do I have a real life 24/7 no, ask yourself why. Does it not make sense from how I speak in my journals I have no time for someone who is wishy washy?  If you want to play games go play with the Dumbnants that come and command, degrade or play the game from the first letter. Me personally I would rather complement something that I see in you, and go about my business. Yes as any Dom I wish to be a Master once again, and yes there is a difference, but I feel it has to be with the right girl who has the right experiences, and will offer the right limits. Understand that I will allow anyone to talk and explore, but be sincere and mature when you approach me. I am not willing to play your games!

Res severa est verum gaudium

Est modus in rebus

As ?the dance? moves on the communication levels change until the collaring is accomplished. I talk to a number of people not only here but other areas that are BDSM chats and forums. What I find are many of the Dumbinants are right to the point of spanking and ?sexing? a submissive. ?The dance? is a two way street, if it moves too fast for one they should find a way to pace it to their satisfaction if there is an interest there, or just be done with it. Either may be in the lead at any point until the final collaring, so a Dumbinant that says you are not a submissive has no idea what a submissive is. They are at that point a ?control freak? taking life out of context. Most submissives and slaves are not doormats. although a slave gives up all rights, until she bows and offers her neck she can negotiate what she is willing to do and not to. The Dom can accept that or push for more before the fact. A slave does not have to be collared to her Master to be his, just her commitment to him completely says it all. A submissive is different she is able to haggle daily to change things that she wants, but in the end the Dom sets the rules. Starting the dance should be just two people talking about interest, needs, desires and ideas that will bring them closer to the final result the relationship. But the sexual for many is a red light for them to slow down and look someone else. I want to say many disappear, change names and return to avoid people that have not been what they want, but the ignore button works just as well. I as a Dom have been as guilty of using the ignore button on a few occasions. One was well earned, the others are personal. During the dance rules are set and accepted by both. He learns her, as she learns him and when true compatibility is formed the union moves on. Many Dumbnants will argue that submission is not a gift, but if a girl does not give herself where would the Dom be? During ?the dance? expect to take a few steps back from time to time to move forward, because something can be missed. If the movements are perfect you will have your O/one.

Res severa est verum gaudium

Amor est vitae essentia

Communication is very important in any venture that you go after. One thing I have said and in one of the chat programs I use it is in my profile I feel is important ?The title Sir should be earned and not demanded.? There are too many that feel they can call themselves Lord, Master or something in front of their names and then they feel they are Doms. With this they feel they can talk to submissives anyway they please. I have been in this lifestyle far longer than most have lived, and I find some of the conversations, as well as the comments of the girls entertaining. The Dumbinant personality starts off with demands and commands. If I am not your Dom/Master what right do I have to command you? In some cases I laugh because many of the girls they attack (I do use that word in this case) have forgotten more about BDSM than some of these Dumbinants will learn in their lifetime. I have seen some conversations where it looks like an episode of the Jerry Springer show. The ?little boys? open up with stupid comments and are ready to strike out at the girls. They start off as if she is theirs or even worst one case a girl is committed and it says it all over her profile and he sends a ?dick pict? asking her if she can handle this. Now (rolling my eyes) I am going to make a comment are they really Dumbinants or are we starting to get to a lower level? The HNG (Horny Net Geek) the guy that makes comments and is strictly interested in what is between his legs (in many cases I hear not much.) They have no idea on how to train, or rewards and punishments to the girls. To me when I talk to a submissive or a slave I am talking with a person at first, and unless they give me a reason to I show respect. An old friend of my mother referred to it as ?The Dance? it is an on going interview of T/two people getting to know each other. Becoming a process where the compatibility becomes clear or cloudy. In this time period is like the vanillas would consider a courtship where many questions and personalities are answered. The importance of this time is that real communication is set up. Yes I am a Dominant 24/7 but I am not always in ?mode? it?s worthless to push someone that I may never have or want control over. I know a few will see this as weak, but if you really consider it your one deserves that attention, and not every tom, dick or mary that you see. Be honest from the beginning and treating her as she is something more than a ?toy? you will find that the girl/boy you chose will do more because they will feel you are worthy of their gift.

Scientia est potentia

Res severa est verum gaudium

As I sit at my desk I am thinking about another conversation I had a few weeks ago about a girl who is a baby girl type of slave and unowned that was attacked on here by a Dumbinant. I begin to understand why some of the more mature ladies refuse to put a picture where people can see them. A certain Dumbinant got the ladies yahoo (now some of you that have asked now know why you don?t have my yahoo.) This guy ranted and acted like a 4 year old, and when I attempted to talk to him he showed his true colors. Now when I type, I type in typoeese! I have no idea what this guy typed in you could understand every 3^rd or 4^th word. Now being a semi intelligent man all I could do is drop my mouth open. Normally I don?t cuss, but the words started to fly because it is my natural nature to protect a sub and slave that are friends or better. This can go on to more situations I have come across. Let?s touch on a new one that I am laughing over this morning. This is a direct quote of what she said ?whatever the case may be that makes me not want to chat with them, they feel the need to try to belittle me with the 'fat pig' 'oink oink' shit, when they have never met me nor even seen a pic, but since i told them i wasnt interested in them, I guess it busts their ego or something and they come out ignorant and immature....? I see this not only about size but the ones that feel an older sub is going to be easy. Gravity is something none of us can help, and when a little boy feels he can degrade a woman because that has taken over then he should be shot. I wonder if he has a problem with a miniature pee pee and that is why he degrades what he can not have. I pose this question to the real Doms and the Dumbinants as well. Why would you degrade a sub because she has no time for you, or are not what she seeks, or is it you do not have the balls to stand up to a man? I am curious

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris

Res severa est verum gaudium

Due to many stresses of life I have not been keeping up with my journal, but there is something that has been bothering me that a couple of friends have talked to me about. Many Dominants want ?trophy submissives? to show off, but in private they are willing to talk to the BBWs (I think that is the politically correct term.) In a conversation on yahoo and in person with a couple of lovely ladies I have found that one that is single a Dumbinant was not willing to take her in public because of how she looked. I have never seen such a lovely lady not just in her facial features, but her personality there are few as beautiful as she. The second one I know personally from near by. Yes she is a larger lady, but a pleasure to be around. The treatment they receive is something that is on the verge of abuse, and although they will make perfect slaves many will play with them, but a collar is out of the question. I ask you this if she is single and you are willing to play with her why are you not man enough to stand up and take her on as yours completely. Understand that the loyalty that they may show to you will be monumental because of past treatment. This is another form of prejudice which we are seeing more and more. In my vanilla existence I work with a group that only want the ladies under a size 6, so the quality ladies over a size 10 are more than left out. I have a few friends that call themselves Doms and they have derogatory names for the larger subs when they talk, but their vanilla wives are of size. Where is the quality of Doms that are willing to step up and see what is inside of the submissive that attracts their attention with the sweetness of her mind and spirit. These plastic Dumbinants as I call them need to step back and do a soul search and step up for what they do in private be more public.

Veritas vos liberabit

The 10 Commandments of Our Commitment

1. We will love with all our hearts, cherish with all our souls, and protect with all our strength each other for as long as we shall choose to do so.

2. We will always respect each other as individual and loving human beings, and attempt with the greatest importance to fulfill and provide for each other.

3. Nothing in our lives will knowingly or intentionally bring harm or dishonour to the other.

4. We will provide support to each other, in times of trial.

5. We will communicate our wants and needs, feelings and concerns, openly and honestly.

6. We will assist and guide each other to our best ability.

7. Our love will provide a forum, a place for thoughts to be expressed without fear of embarrassment or ridicule.

8. Both Master and his Pet will follow any and all rules established within this bond, both acknowledging that it is *choice* that allows this to occur.

9. We will remember at all times the difference between private and public rules of conduct, and to maintain them separate as long as required.

10. We will wear the symbols that represent our bond at all times, unless absolutely necessary to remove them.

slave?s vow

This bracelet belongs to my Master. It is a symbol of his commitment to me and my submission to his will. I will place it on his right arm so that its weight might remind him always that where he may falter, I will support him, where he may fear, I will stand strong, where he may weep, I will taste his tears.

This collar belongs to his pet. I will wear it around my neck to remind me always of my submission to him. Whenever I may feel it I will know that I am bound to him as surely as he is bound to me. I have chained my soul to his, and given my body into his care, I will submit to his desires for this is my chosen path, my gift to him.

Caeci caecos ducentes

In 10 years on line I have met a number of great people, and today as I hit another mile stone in years I have to think in many cases why me. I have never considered myself anyone special, I understand my place in the universe, and accept who and what I am. I really have not sought anyone to be my significant under, but there have been a few interesting ones that have come to my attention. This last year has been full of someone thinking I was so dumb she could play mind games in real life as she played on the net, but the drama was reversed, and the lack of trust in her and many has been the end result. This has caused a conflict in my career where even though I work I have to concentrate harder to get where I used to be. Still when I go to relax in a chat room on the IRC I am called upon in my time where I should have mindless chat to help with problems. Many of the Dumbinants feel once they own a sub or a slave they can treat them anyway they feel. I think this is because they do not take the time in the beginning to know the person that they own. Yes there are some out there that are doormats, but the good ones have minds, and enjoy using them. I was called upon last night by one girl who is a submissive and not a slave who is having her rights ignored. In our conversation I listened, asked questions and was non judgmental. About halfway through the conversation she said ?I feel like I?m talking to a shrink.? I had a small laugh and let her know that I have a degree in psychology, but I left out that I had been a counselor for a while in the state I relocated here from. During this conversation she answered all the questions she was pondering and not being logical about the situation but emotional she continued to ask what she should do. Now there were two problems here talking to me. First was she is an owned girl, and it is not my place to give that information. Second as a counselor the answers to the questions can only be answered by her. When the conversation was over she had some relief because someone listened, but still she feels that she needs to have someone make that decision. The lesson here is not for the subs and slaves, but to the Dumbnants. If you train a dog and you abuse it you may get bit, but people are different. The worst type of abuse you can place on a submissive or a slave is mental abuse. Humiliation is one thing as long as you have control of yourself, but if you have no idea what you are doing avoid it by all means. There have been cases that people have been killed in their sleep for less. A submissive or a slave is a person first, they entrust you with their life and soul, are you mature enough to own it and love it? Many are not and without this knowledge many just walk away from the lifestyle that should stay, and the Dumbnants remains to ruin another one.

Amor est vitae essentia

Videre est credere

Since the stress level from work is lower for one day I am able to do a little ranting. I again want to talk about topping from the bottom. I have met a number of wonderful people on collarme, and most of them I have the greatest respect for. There are a few that I find that need a few lessons in protocol. I am a Dominant not a Master, I own no one, so I am able to move at my own pace. I enjoy interactions with everyone away from my job where I am under enough stress that getting it from a sub or a slave is not something I deal with well. Trading Commodities and futures at times gives me a few moments during the day to look in and see who is new and if there are any good profiles, or journal entries that may be interesting to read. I always keep an open browser to this site. The other day I was in a conversation with a fairly intelligent slave, I was more interested in knowing the person than owning. As a few of you know there are some subs and slaves I chat with that are owned, and others married. I will not give my current status as I am happy where I am, and it is something I?d rather keep to myself. But getting back to what was going on. I work not just at the office, but at home. Much of the time I am focused on work or chatting on one of the programs. A slave asked something and I really was too focused on finishing out February with a paycheck and not on her request. Wells she saw me on not asking but made a snobby comment, and when I responded quickly with a generalization she and I had a few words. I am glad she is not the real life because with the first word back there would have been hell to pay. I will not go into details, but I will say I will probably respond faster to people that make my messengers than through e-mail. Pushing for a response will only be half arse when I am focused on work. Yes I am chatting all day, but a sub/slave that can push a Dominant then does she really want him. Why do so many feel they can top from the bottom?

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam

Absit omen

I enjoy talking with subs/slaves and respectful Dominants and Dominatrix in a number of chat programs. I spend a lot of time just hanging around a program named the IRC. There is a thing that happens all the time with a certain type of sub/slave that is insecure, and they need to feel special. What I am about to discuss is not making someone special, but it brings them out for everybody to see except unsuspecting Doms. One of the funniest jokes I ever saw was from a friend who is a Gorean slave, she and her Master have been together now for 7 or 8 years on line and real life. She sent out a picture with a paper collar and a plastic pocket in it, it fastened with Velcro. She named it the yahoo collar. I call it a Velcro collar. Many of my online friends have been cyber collared for many years, but there are a few that have a number of ?notches? on their belt. These girls change Masters more than they change underwear. There are a few that do it so often the bets run how long will she keep the collar. In one case a girl had 25 collars in two years, and another 11 in a year. I wonder besides being phones and fakes how these subs play so many Doms that they almost have one come in as the other leaves. Who does this really hurt? The Dom is really a Dumbinant for not knowing his girl well enough to anticipate her needs, desires, and how she thinks. If the Dom was real he would look for a higher quality and work to make her part of him as well as become part of her. Well the submissive/slave? Oh gawd no she is playing and having a ball, as she collects she is probably enjoying her self esteem as she laughs at her latest sucker. Who is hurt? The newbie who is trying to understand the dynamics of the collar and what it means. There are many people that get their first taste of BDSM now from the World Wide Web; it opens up new dynamics to our lifestyle. These collectors as subs and slaves show the girls and boys it?s ok to play a Dumbnants for a fool as they are more experienced than many. Think how when you chat with someone here who is so quick to offer a collar or quick to accept what is wrong with that picture. Getting to understand so you work as one is what makes a D/s couple stronger than a vanilla. The collar is a symbol which should be stronger than a wedding ring, and if you have grown up in the last 50 years you know how now no one takes wedding vows seriously. If you accept the collar with the same immaturity that many take their wedding vows then you are no better than a vanilla. As a matter of fact you are the scum of O/our community.

Omne initium est difficile

Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem

Today I had a discussion on limits with a brand new submissive, and she has no understanding of setting them. She was ready to leave CM because of e-mails and I use here words ?they want to fist, clamp, spank and f*ck? she had seen the types of Dumbinants that give the lifestyle a bad name. She also said someone was trying to collar her when she was just talking to Dominants and other submissives seeing who she was.  The reason I am doing limits here is because that was a grey area for her understanding. There are degrees of limits, and if one understands them they can enjoy themselves more in a BDSM relationship. Let?s start with hard limits. Dumbnants will hate these, but this is an area that is set in stone. Hard limits are things that a submissive/slave says she will not do, and a good Master/Trainer will never challenge. This is here safe zone. Never assume, ask and get a clear answer to these. Many of the newer submissives/slaves will not understand the importance of this, but if a Dominant is good he will get the answers to this early.

Now soft limits are something all together different. These are area that a girl is not going to be comfortable, but a good Trainer/Master will know this and know when to ?push? or ?extend? the girls limits. This is not an area of black and white but shades of grey. Know you?re submissive/slave when you are working with them, and give a safe word. New concept the safe word. It is a word when that is agreed on before anything starts, and when the submissive/slave speaks it the Trainer/Master should stop immediately and reflect. In this reflection after care should be applied and see how your bottom feels. Reflect on how far you have gotten, and look what is next. Remember in pushing the soft limits go slowly and if the girl has done well you let her know how proud you are.

Dominants can also help a new girl set their limits, Know how you want to train her, and if you are in line with her limits, think of things that make you uncomfortable, these are your limits. Now there are a few submissives/slaves that want to know what they have to look forward to in their training. This can not be done without gathering information from her and putting in what you feel. Now for these subs or slaves that want to know you can make a schedule of what to expect, not only is this time consuming as you have to go through day to day. Now I would say a slave contract which lays things out that both agree to. In doing this a Dom should be ready to do more than just one draft as many things will change as negotiations are made. Submissives and slaves contracts are very different as a true Dominant will know. Submissives give they service freely and are able to discuss changes in their needs. These changes can be daily or not at all so if you and the girl are learning together. Slaves on the other hand make your contract as iron clad as you can. Slaves? limits need to be set carefully and properly. You do this because slaves give up all rights. When you take a slave, you want to protect her so setting limits should be done with careful thought of what she has informed you she can handle it. You respect your sub/slaves limits and they will serve you well.

Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur

Giving respect where respect is due sherry85 wrote these words and I feel they should be shared with E/everyone. There are few profiles written as well as her's.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A DOM AND A TRAINER

A Dom is a guy who likes to play around in leather and fuck.

A Trainer is someone who knows whether you are training a pedigree dog or a human that there is work involved in that process, and that there is responsibility for it. That it is not sitting back in the ez-chair and clapping hands and saying 'let it be done'. Anyone who trains falcons, or people will agree.


A Dom sends a one line email that says
"U want 2 serve? pls mail me back"

A Trainer has thought about and prepared what is expected and wants you to know in detail what is expected.

A Dom has no patience. They are on here to chat and will come daily to do the exact same thing, but they aren't going to spend more than 5 minutes having a profile.

A Trainer wants you to see what they are about, not just in how they train, but they want you to see a face shot of them.

A Dom claims to have 'owned' women, but they either died (usually by a car accident), moved to care for a sick mom (who will never recover), or for a job. In the however many years this happened he never took a photo of them standing in the same place (vanilla or otherwise) and there is absolutely no evidence of this persons existence and no way to contact them. In other words, this is fantasy bullshit that they made up rather than admit they have no experience at all beyond random desperate encounters at best.

Typically, a "Dom" is sort of like a person who thinks being a Master means selecting a handle that has "Master" in it and creating some bullshit background like that, or inflating their ego with false titles "I am high lord of the eastern plain".


A Trainer has experience with this, and probably photos of themselves with other people who can be contacted who can say "Yes, he trained me".


A Dom makes excuses why they can't take the time to be clear. "Um..I work a lot" or why they can't be on to commit to the search the same way they would to my training. Yet, you seem them night after night on yahoo im doing the same thing, they still won't take the time to have a clear house law. They will show up six weeks after having talked to you last and go "So you ready to come down here yet?" as if nothing happened or I should not be surprised they disappeared.

A Trainer is consistently approaching the search, and working towards the end result. They do not make 'excuses', they will explain, but not look to pass blame from themselves if it falls with them.
They are responsible for the outcome of their actions and their own happiness.


A Dom has two settings; Either totally vanilla, or Totally fucking/sucking/slapping. They don't see any other setting in BDSM. You are either doing it, or you have turned it off.

A Trainer has thought about it, and has prepared how they are going to interact with the world and evolved past the stealth/ninja approach to BDSM.

A Dom will keep repeating the same mistakes on here, and take his happy ass on to the next female name just sending the same cut and paste.

A Trainer is prepared to answer questions and make sure that there is no misunderstanding before you sign your ass over to them.

Abyssus abyssum invocat

Here we go again, the classic rant coming! Dumbnants that go and make demands on what is NOT theirs. I had a communication from a slave that I know well, and I found it disheartening that she would be treated this way. Now mind you I have ranted about the Caucasian Dumbinants that attack the white subs/slaves that chose to be interested in Black Masters; however, now I have to look at the other side of the coin. The ignorance of Dumbnants that feel because a girl is a slave they can contact them anyway they wish. I am one that will not pull a punch, so here we go. My friend has had a few communications from a Black Dumbinant, so after a while I was asked to step in, now when I did I attempted to be respectful to a person who in large type in his profile uses profanity. This was my first sign who I was dealing with. Yes, I have in the past hung out with ?home boyz?, but in the world I present myself as me. Well I sent a respectful e-mail requesting he back off the girl and he responded demanding I apologize. Excuse me, but I know how many of you ladies get messages from idiots and just say nothing because no one will step up and be a Dom and assist you. I ignored his first demand. Well again he assumed that I had apologized, and wrote me. Now I was a bit upset because this happened BC (Before Coffee.) to let the story go on this demanding little boy decided he was going to get in my face thinking just because he calls himself a Dom he can talk to adults in a Manish fashion. Well let?s just say the e-mails went back and forth for a second. He showed his true character as what he is. I try to star even keel because of what I do, so I did not let into this fool in a way I know I can, why should I go ghetto on someone who try?s to intimidate women because he learned from being on the internet what a sub and a slave is. I feel when approaching a slave or a sub that you do not know, or after being rejected (like he was more than once.) Be graceful and go away. You show a weakness by continuing to go back to the well. People like Cagee1 and Master Xanadu as well as a few others that have been pointed out to me, or we have talked. These quality Black Doms and Masters look bad because of a very small majority of people who show themselves less respect as well as show no one respect just demanding demeaning children. As I type this rant I realize that idiots are everywhere and when you take it upon yourself to set time back for your own ignorance you may be hurting others as well.

A verbis ad verbera

It is better to be alone, than lonely with someone (unknown)

This may be true, or it could be a fantasy. It is for you to decide. If you know me you will know which, and if you think you know me you may make assumptions. I will enjoy this posting most of all because of what this really means to me. I am writing in the first person as not to confuse myself as I come back with thoughts.

Communication in any relationship is the foundation for a great partnership. Such is the partnership of the Dominant and the slave here you will see a dynamic that when non verbal communication is established, it draws a beautiful picture for all that can see and understand. The basis for this comes early by opening one?s soul and understands that physical ownership will come in time, but for a girl to give her heart, soul and spirit to the Dom is the greatest gift she can give. If the participation is .  I became done properly the Dominant as well will be taken by her charms, and the emotional bounds can entwine at any stage. This bound will allow them to work together to conquer any thing that stands in their way, and hope for their future.

I have an intense life, where the normal mode is stress and forward. This also puts me on the internet doing research and communicating with people 7 days a week, up to 20 hours a day. Using chat and instant message as a means to get away from the normal stress things were at par. Someone came across me lately that was an unexpected surprise, as pleasant as it seemed it was the right thing at the right timenot just focused on her, but on what I was doing as well. From the day she said hello everything picked up. The intensity became a positive feeling for the first time in years, and it seemed things would fall in place. Everything was perfect in his life as she brought things back into light he decided to put on the back burner, but with this new flame she ignited in him his strength returned.
            Now there is a brake from the flames, where both have stepped back, each should review what has happened, she is better than she gives herself credit for, He is better because she was right for him. Another time and closer together this may have given Ann Rice a run for her money, but reality can have a nasty turn. If the flames start quickly unless both are willing to let the fire burn equal it will burn itself out, but if both take a look at the opportunities that can arise then the fire will burn forever. The pleasure of the body is only heightened by the pleasure of the mind, but both must give until the mind is one.

Today a decision has been made to walk away, and if it comes back the truth will be there that she sees the 2 way street, and she is willing to work harder until the day comes where they are together. I walk away knowing I am a better person for what I gave and received. I am a better person because of what she reminded me about who I am. Why should I settle for mediocrity when I have had the perfect girl for me? No she was not the perfect 10 in the eyes of many. Yes she has her flaws and imperfections, but as a Dominant you seek these and make them her strength. If she returns she will be loved, but if she walks as he has allowed there will always be a special love for her. A good slave is hard to find.

That that does not kill you only makes you stronger (unknown)

The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.

Niccolo Machiavelli

Many people have different names for when they get together and start to explore a relationship. One of the many descriptions I have heard is it is like a dance. This is when we usually put our best foot forward to get the person?s attention, and after depending on how open and honest you are, things will work out. During this period we try to stay pretty and perfect for whom we are looking to meet, and yes many hide important material facts.

The importance of this period is more important when you are dealing in the lifestyle we are involved, because being honest about who you are and what you are makes the basis of what will come in the future. How many times have you wondered what someone looked like and when you request a picture it looks nothing like them or it is old? Is this person honorable? My favorite is a girl that says she is a size 7-8 is a 17-18 God can you be honest? There was even one case I remember that someone was sending her daughter?s pictures out. The mother was beautiful and was ashamed of her age. These that the person who is concealing their identity to them may be minor, but how can they see this as a basis for trust? Doms are just as bad, my friend delicateme in her profile says it as clear as it can be said when she said have a picture on your profile when you approach someone, especially if they have one on theirs. I will go even further and say make sure it is a current one. Why should I commit to you when you are so ashamed of your looks that you will hide them until the last minuet? I will be more accepting of an ugly sub that is honest than Miss BDSM America who is a fake.

Now to another thing I want to talk about during this step. Information. I feel the more I know about the sub/slave the better Master I will be when the time comes she offers me her submission. If you are in full understanding of the person then and only then will you be able to understand the slave. Getting an attitude should be accepted in this time, because there are some things that can be painful to admit, but you being the Dom/me should know what you are accepting of, and know where you will draw the line. Do not lie by any means if you are bothered by anything tell the sub/slave. Then you both can walk away with your heads high. I came across a situation that was very unpleasant for a girl, and as she explained it to her she got more of an attitude. She apologized because she did not want me to find out the way I did. No matter how much I told her it was fine she still fought. One of my biggest limits is curse words, and being called sweet and cute. If I correct it and it is not taken care of this is a deal breaker. Well because of her lack if self esteem in this matter she wrote an e-mail which again she put herself down. If you ask people that know me unless I am with ?the fellas?, playing with mine with pet names, or extremely upset I do not curse. I laid into her and let her know exactly how I felt. Now did I feel bad after? No I told the girl no more negativity, and she was so good with something she started to do all I could do is be proud. Take pride in what you do accomplish with your sub and slave, they will work harder to please you. We have to understand when you are a true trainer you give the reward of letting your special person know what she/he has done so they will continue to work for a better life for the B/both of you.

Test your sub/slave with questions that you want to know, pop them out so the sub/slave thinks it?s part of the normal conversation. These will get you more honest answers. I do have 1 question I ask that carries a lot of weight, and it can make or brake a girl. Be honest with them as well, after you get some of the information you are seeking let them know how well they are doing. Many will work harder to improve knowing of their constant improvement.

Show pride in your sub/slave they are an extension of who you are.

The wish to acquire more is admittedly a very natural and common thing; and when men succeed in this they are always praised rather than condemned. But when they lack the ability to do so and yet want to acquire more at all costs, they deserve condemnation for their mistakes.

Niccolo Machiavelli

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.
Niccolo Machiavelli

I will start this with a question. Is it a Dom?s right to go to a lady who he has no ownership of, and treat her just any way? I am constantly speaking of respect, and how respecting a bottom makes her feel more worthy of who she is speaking with. I may go a bit further than most because I have a tendency honor mine as someone special, which the way I see it she is. She is the one that comes to me with respect and makes me feel special. She is the one that I am responsible for; I take this duty very seriously to where as MINE she is special. She has to be special in many ways. I find her as the one that I look to for my pleasure as I return it to her in many forms. To do this I feel she should be protected and honored from the beginning. Because of the internet we now have a new type of Dumbinant; we can call them cyber doms (notice the small case.) They feel they are owed, and you will respond to them as they demand you to. Many of these have learned a little kink, and have spilled that all over to where ever they wish. I was presented something the last few days, and if the person that was on the other end could have seen the visual for most of that day, she would have gotten a better understanding of me. Does a true Master own a girl, and ignore her to be with anybody but her? This boils my blood. Do you take a responsibility seriously when you buy a pet or have a child? Why should you own a girl, and feel she is just something you can toss to the side? Why would a slave or a sub want to be treated like that? If you owned a Bentley would you treat it like a bicycle? Then why would you toss a piece of gold to the side? I am far from perfect, but I understand the quality of what I will accept in my life. I know even though at first she may feel uncomfortable being treated like Cinderella I am her Prince Charming (I may have the whip), and I will dance my girl to the stars. Gentlemen the subs and slaves here are people as well, and to gain the best you have to earn their respect. Being a dog will never get you more than a broken down cow!

The fact is that a man who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous.
Niccolo Machiavelli

Being a man first and a Dom second I know I have limitations, fears, and faults. I am aware of my weaknesses as well as my strengths. I have exchanged a number of e-mails with someone lately who breached one of my weaknesses. I wrote long one and two page e-mails. She spoke in a way, that I felt I had to be open, honest and upfront of a lot of things. One thing that attracts me more is an attractive intelligent mind which inspires the side of me that can write, but I keep that to myself and speak my mind in my journals. I gave and I received.

Being an honest man first of all early in the conversation I gave all that was bad because she was so good, so if I sabotaged as it is human nature to do that when something is too good.  I do not consider myself God?s Gift, but a man with a desire for the best, as I want to be the best I can for the one and only her. But to do that I feel I have to go in and not hide my faults. When I talk with the one that has the potential to be as you would say THE ONE, I will put myself out for her to see the man before the Dom. The person she will spend the 24/7 with. For me to be happy she will have the Master as well as the man. The one she sees smile, cry, be happy and be sad. If I see signs of progression I will present the side she will have to know, so she can decide if she wants to stay or go. There are very few things that intimidate me, but the one who is that perfect angel will at first. I will fear her heart, soul and her intentions. I will question if I am worth of such a prize, but I will see if the discovery phase is acceptable to her. I will question my worthiness daily as I wish her to, so we may both learn to work together in a ying and yang the eternal circle that makes the relationship excel above others.

Being the man first, I will evaluate myself daily to see if I am a worthy Man and Master to her honest and willing soul and mind. I will work in every way my soul will to make her proud to call me Sir or by my name. I will work hard to accept her for who she is, and not what she can provide except the emotional support to make me a stronger and more honorable Master. To her I will have to feel comfortable giving her my heart, my soul as well as my mind as I take her. As a pair we will shape our destiny, as we write out own history.

Being a man first I will have a protective nature to make she is safe and well. She feels comfortable going where she pleases knowing if he says she may go he is there for her. It is not just using her for her pleasure, but cherishing her for the precious jewel she is. Polishing her spirits by honoring her as his person, his friend and his mate. Showing her daily even if it is with a smile she is special, she is more that a sub/slave to him, but a friend and his true one and only.

A man will use his strengths to move forward, and gain his prize, and hope that prize knows His weaknesses and motivates him to his greatness as she is the only motivating factor in his life. She is his friend, his mate, his lover, his slave. The most precious treasure in his life.

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.

Niccolo Machiavelli

I have tried to hold this today as the loss of a friend has brought sadness in my heart, but I feel the need to speak. Why do people go into a relationship and are never there when you are? I work and get on line from work, and am on the msn and yahoo messengers all the time as well, but there was a relationship that was building that the girl said she was interested and wanted real life, but could she find the time to be on line when her Dom was?  She is a night owl and he works days and sleeps nights, so who should adjust some for the time together. If the answer is she should because he is the Dom that is not right because she has the rights to her life, but if you say she does because she is free and he has to maintain a schedule you are right. She has been a spoiled little girl as far as attitude, and shows no consideration to His situation, so she may walk away and live her life in peace.

Now on a more positive note. I read a profile that has taken me by storm, the perfect submissive sent me an e-mail the yesterday and it was a friendly one. She asked for nothing, but has gained the utmost respect. Like me she speaks her mind, and she knows exactly what she is seeking in a Master as she is a slave. I recommend that people look at spoiledbrat here on collarme. I feel she is intelligent and she is the perfect slave version of what I am. I enjoyed the e-mails as well as reading what she had to say. Yes people are more likely to attack her than me, but remember when you attack you are showing your weakness. This is a lady that will do well. Please read her as you read me, and understand she has clear goals and desires. This attracts people of her kind as well as Dumbnants that look to fake their way is. I am proud to say I asked her to be a friend. If nothing more you should as well.

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.

Niccolo Machiavelli

Respice post te, mortalem te esse memento

How quickly things can change in life and mortality. Yesterday I was in one of my favorite channels chatting on the IRC, and I received a message from a lovely lady. She and I had been friends for years, so there was no sexual tension or any request pending ever for a collar. Just a quality friendship between P/people. She was well loved and respected by A/all in the channel. She radiated all that is good in a submissive, and people that knew her she was a joy to be around. As any chat channel and channel operator she was one who did put on a little bit of a flamboyant show to make the channel work, but to know the person she was a jewel that any Dom would be honored to own. She was not just my friend, but a friend to M/many. As I type this please forgive me this is the second time today my eyes are tearing up from sorrow. margiegal was her name, and she was a good lady. We lost her yesterday in a car accident in Virginia. Those that know her will miss her and those that never met I will say you truly missed knowing a good person. Today I had a lot to rant about, but it seems less important because she was loved.

Requiescat in pace

One who deceives will always find those who allow themselves to be deceived.

Niccolo Machiavelli

I know some people read what I have to say, and some don?t agree. But today I want to go more into abuse in the lifestyle. Let?s talk about players who collar one after another at the same time. Now even you ladies (small l) need to realize the other person has feelings as well, so when you enter into a relationship be honest and forth coming. Once there was a lady that fell in love with her Dom. They were together for a long time before she committed. When you earn that commitment cherish it, and understand that love can be real in the lifestyle. The relationship became a 24/7 and was going well, but on the day the collar went on he collared a second girl on line. This was not an agreed on poly and being a submissive the first not a slave she has some rights to renegotiate. Now the story gets more interesting. The girl is not a pain lover and she was so beat up that the Police department had to be called. This is just plain stupid on the Dom?s part, and he also impregnated the other lady. Now tell me how a person can respect themselves as a Master doing this to a girl?  Understand to gain love from a submissive you have earned the ultimate respect, so why would you go out of your way to lose it? Let?s go a on a bit what else has caused this Dumbinant problems is he impregnated the second sub after the first has given her all.

Now I will leave you thinking about that and give my spin on how I want a sub/slave. I want to love and be loved. To not teach respect but earn it. To be with me she must be willing to communicate totally until the day she comes to meet. I feel in this format that communication is king. It is hard being hundreds of miles or further to get to know a person unless you write, call and communicate. A friend delicateme made a point the other day about photographs being posted. I may look for the inner beauty, but some want to see the external as well. Present the true picture and not just an image you want someone to see. I tell people that I can be an azz; I also say BC (before coffee) is a dangerous time. Be honest. If you are it makes you more reliable. I admit I talk to many of you, and there are some I feel as if you are family firstchair, delicateme, sassyjackieWPB and a few more. I love you like my little sisters and if anyone wanted to know me and knew what they are doing they could ask them. These are ladies that also know they can come to me no matter what and I will listen. I make an effort of responding to anyone who says anything, but include a picture. No I am not taken at this point. I am talking and honest and forthwith. Will I ever find that sub/slave that is the one that walks at my side and looks in my eyes and makes me smile? That is up to you who come to me. I read all the profiles and see some lovely ladies who show class, and others that I would never in my life speak with if I was sober, but I respect all your efforts. I will tell you Dumbnants one thing, The Ugliest woman in the world may actually be the most beautiful if you are willing to listen and speak honestly and respectfully. It is you that set the standards not her.

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present.

Niccolo Machiavelli

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.
Niccolo Machiavelli

Today I was in discussion with a slave over chat rooms, and she has been chatting on the mIRC for years. I will agree no matter where you go there are HNGs (Horny Net Geeks) who disguise themselves as Doms. There is a difference in protocol between where you chat and how well you are known.  Her experience on the channels on collarme was not a pleasant one, as well as some e-mails she has received. If a new female goes in a channel why is she bombarded by all the idiots that call themselves Doms being the first to try to ?get in her pants?? My question to you is where is your self respect? Are you so deprived of female company that you have to attack like a pack of weak hungry wolf cubs going after a meal thinking you are going to be left out?  Many of these ladies are looking as well, so give them the chance to say hello and get comfortable. What I respect about my primary chat program is in many of the BDSM Channels you have to request in channel to message. It allows a female the chance to say she is interested or not. Not all these women are desperate and lonely many are here just to learn and talk. Respect their wishes, and give them the opportunity to not be overwhelmed by instant messages. Give them the same respect that you ask for yourself. We as Doms set the example, and by doing that we gain the better subs/slaves as ours. I speak with a lot of quality ladies that have given up due to the behavior they come across on the web. Remember as Doms you are the people that set the example for the newbie?s to follow. Do you wish respect give that respect you wish, and things will come to you in return.

Now speaking of respect I spoke with one of the most charming slaves I have ever spoken to in my 55 years, and I was hurting for her as she explained why she was so depressed. Things you do as a Master can have a lasting affect on a girl for years to come. I was taught the lifestyle by my Mother. She was able to teach me to look at who I owned as that person was me. Understand the limits of that person, and never do something that will leave a mental scar. These scars make someone who has the potential to grow with someone else useless not only to others, but to themselves. These affects can last for years and cripple the best of people. If you are a real Top of the BDSM lifestyle this is the same as a safe word. Know what you are doing and be safe and sane. If and when a release comes, understand what terms would be good for both and stick to them. If it means she is better off walking alone let her. Are we so weak we have to go back to those that we had in the past, and remind them. For some the return may continue to remind them of the release depending on the situation. W/we are all adults, and a 24/7 relationship no matter what you think is going to carry some baggage. If the follower is allowed to have peace he/she will grow stronger and be able to move on. Please do not smother their growth.

It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.
Niccolo Machiavelli

Ab absurdo

Why do some people come back like cockroaches? Almost 2 years ago I moved to a small community two hours north of West Palm Beach, and before I could settle in my home a married girl saw a profile I had on another site. She was interested in meeting, but after getting more of her story she started this as a way to get back at her husband who had a girl friend. There was a bit of dishonesty in her motives as she went to a marriage counselor from her church, and made him give up his outside activities. Not only was she self serving in her marriage she attempted to top me from the bottom, so as a first punishment she was told I would not see her for 2 weeks.  During that time period I was mellow and laid back working on getting my affairs in order in the new community. When she was allowed to return one of the first things we did was talk, and she said she understood her place. Well in that town is a Super Wal Mart and I shopped there for everything. Well I didn?t see her, but a day or so later I was confronted by her in a major attack for being with another woman. The woman was a friend that we had been friends for years. Now I ask you is it a sub?s place to confront a Dom whom she is not collared to about his friends? Better question a married female who seems to be used to getting her husband to bow to her will, why does she think a Dom is going to be willing to bow to her will as well. This goes along with a question I saw in a channel on the IRC, How many subs and slaves own their Doms? A sub may be strong, but when she has a strong Dom she deals with she needs to know that she can not bottom from the top. Today I received an e-mail from her and I responded that I had blocked her in a few places, so why is she pestering me again?  My question to you submissives and slaves, if you are communicating with a Dom who is weak enough to bend to your will, then who is actually the top? I will end on that note as I fail to battle with someone so arrogant and ignorant that I have you ignored on all programs doesn?t make sense. Again I will get off my soap box and laugh at a submissive that shows the same regards to the lifestyle as the Dumbnants I discuss here.

Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

The other day I was in a chat room and the subject for the day was ?Can a Master be a Master if he is not responsible for himself.? I found this to me a very important subject. I have always asked myself when I owned if I was able to take care of myself mentally, physically and financially as to be able to support the sub/slaves I have owned. If I had any doubt I would back off and stay away until I felt the self responsibility is there. My personal self esteem would stop me from taking a bottom under any circumstance that I feel she will not be in the best hands. This is not just the physical and emotional I look at but financially. I do understand there are women out there that are better taken care of than some of the could ever hope to do, so when they approach them they either get laughed at or they are referred to as ?gold diggers? well this is pathetic of the man that makes that attack. We all have our standards of who we are and what we want in a person. But as Dominants we need to be something they desire. In a conversation with a submissive friend a while ago a Dumbinant was talking to her and was sitting by what she described as a ?girl car? he said to her ?I know sometimes girls are not loyal and change Doms.? Now what is wrong with this fool? She was given a new Benz for Christmas that year by her Master and she was spoiled as a slave. Guys get your act together and know what you are doing and who you are talking to. Many of the subs and slaves are professionals and I have met a few of you guys that don?t have a clue what I am saying, and there are others that do know what I am speaking about. This respect is not a matter of respecting the sub, but an issue of self respect. Bottom line, how can you own and respect property when you lack self respect?  Be well!

Anyone can claim to be a Dom, but to be a Master you are a special breed!

(Dang that?s not in Latin?)

Facilius per partes in cognitionem totius adducimur

Well I guess a few of my friends that have met me personally or have known me for years now are on collarme, so I will start this way today. I use purple and gold on my rants because those are my Fraternity colors Go Omega Psi Phi (Que Dogs); however the other day I picked black and red because one thing that bothers me in any sense is prejudice! We are now in the 21^st century and the last 50 some odd years a lot of things have changed because we as a people are becoming more intelligent. To down a sub/slave because she is seeking a Black Master is a sign of someone who has no self worth. I saw a black slave here the other day who started off with the name ni**ress. Although I was offended I said nothing as it is her right to speak how she wished. I am willing to bet that none of you said a word to her about her needs to be owned by a white Master. Why should you care anyway? What I feel is you all applauded her choice, so why would you feel any different about the opposite. It is a matter of choice. Since we are discussing choice it is your choice as a sub/slave to submit. Think about the vanillas that will persecute you for that choice. What is the difference weather he is black or white people that have no tolerance for something different will attack you for that. There are many that do things behind closed doors as not to upset what is becoming a minority quickly. I had a similar conversation the other day as protecting the gays and a new record label. Why are you people so dogmatic, open your minds and be accepting to other?s and their personal desires with out being so darn obstinate. Life is about choices! I would like to welcome a friend I invited on sadiesue and her Master. I remember when she and I first started chatting you would never see her as a submissive. Through a lot of conversations she became a perfect submissive, and I know Her Master is very proud of her as he should. Another old friend of years told me today she is reading my rants, and lynxx has been a great friend for 6 or 7 years now. She actually want through miss Velcro collar with me as well. I will say I have good friends here, and have met some wonderful subs, a few Doms as well. Now I would like to point out a profile I feel is worth reading. Roxie35. She has taken the grace of respect to a new level, and this is what I look for when I do search (I am not in search mode thank you.) Her inner beauty radiates out to where you look at her and you see an angel. I wish her the best in her search and may she find a Master as perfect as she.

Flamma fumo est proxima

Ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes viros

I have to ask what the hell is wrong with people. I am not bisexual or gay, and today I just talked about reading profiles Now I get this

?Hi TyrAnasazi! i saw your profiles on the net asking for a slave with interest that it moves to real life.I am harry joe. jallah.I am 27 year of age. I am five feet and 4inches tall.I will be very geartsful if you would have me as a slave so that I may moves to real life.Thanks.your in coming slave. harry.?

Let?s say I do not appreciate people who can?t read, or attack people for their choices! People get a life! What the hell is wrong with many of you?  I save some submissives who write articulate and intelligent profiles. Yesterday I cane across ?LovingSurrender? I was impressed at what she has to say about herself. The lady has class. Today because of her choice of what she seeks she was attacked. People who write crap like this need to understand they are more shallow and ignorant than they feel the other?s to be.

?mimd2004 writes: "a BLACK Dominant MALE?? your parents must be so proud of you!!"  Then she blocks me from being able to respond.?

I was very happy to see her response!
?Just to let you know, my parents are VERY proud of me... :D ?

Get a fricking life people!!!!! W/we all have choices of what we want, and if you lack the intelligence to realize that this is now the 21^st century then I feel so sorry for you. This young lady has gained more of my respect for the way she handled the situation, and looking at the sub that wrote it I have to laugh as she has no pictures and places blame on the Administrators of collarme for that. Ignorant and she is not willing to accept responsibility for something she is not doing right!  I was accused of being nice today by a special sub earlier from what I had to say, but now I am going to chance pissing off the whole community. If you are prejudice and wish to attack someone for their choices I will say get a fricking life and worry about your own fricking self. The world will be better with out you!

Argumentum ad ignorantiam

Emitte lucem et veritatem

Sanity is the second part of safe play in the BDSM community. On collarme a few months ago I saw a girl who was searching just getting out of the hospital for being abused. . In a few conversations I have had in the last few days I have heard some disturbing reports from friends. Safe play means sensible play. There is a large difference between a Dom and an abuser. The shame is in O/our lifestyle many of the subs/slaves blame the victim as was pointed out to me by one of my close friends. To you ladies it should be up to the Dominant to exercise a safe word, or to know where he should stop, and let the scene stop. I could care less if you are a masochist you are still breakable. The way I was taught was to use a safe word when you are playing. This should be a sign to a Dom to stop and take care of his girl. It is the Dumbinants that have thrown this out the window. Gentlemen and Ladies (Yes I am talking to you tops) think as you play! There are some ladies that will not use the safe word feeling they will disappoint, but know their boundaries or at least your own. Knowing when to stop will keep your sub safe and happy. I am the type on Dominant that hates to punish just for that reason, I know when to stop I will stop. But then the sub thinks she has gotten away with it. Been there done that.  Sadist you can get your kicks and not go overboard, don?t be irrational and obnoxious use your heads, this is why you are a Dominant and not a Dumbinant! Talk about limits and safe words, then exercise them.

Est autem fides credere quod nondum vides; cuius fidei merces est videre quod credis

Ad captandum vulgus

This is something I was discussing with a slave friend the other day, but I?d like to share with you all. I will say this is not only important in BDSM relationships, but everyone that may meet someone in the near future. I will start this by saying 15 to 20 years ago when there was no internet, or computers we would meet at bars, restaurants, church and a number of public places. It was safer to get to know a person before running off with them. Now with cyber space things have become more interesting. This opens the door for danger to people who are willing to travel to have the possibility of having ?the one.? I started chatting on the mIRC back in 1995, yes a decade ago. I remember a few friends being found dead because they did not take the proper precautions, and no one knew who they were meeting and where they were going. Back then cell phones were not as popular as they are now, so if they had been smarter their murders may have been caught. Safe, Sane and Consensual are 3 very important words always to remember when going to meet a new person. Today I want to talk about safe. I have met a few subs and slaves in my life that travel to meet me. I require them to have a close friend or family member to know where they are going, what number they can be reached at, and who they are going to see. The where is not just the city and state, but make sure you have a real address. Be able to check it in the phone book, internet directories, or Cole?s Directory. There are many people that might be willing to give you an address, but it will not match the information. This should be a warning sign, cross reference everything. If something is wrong don?t go. The telephone number, This now is becoming a bit tricky since many people now have cell phones rather than land lines, but cell phones as well register on caller ID. Get that number 2006 they are now making it so cell phones can be found on directory assistance. Have that information. Finally who, full name do you really think people in my area would know me as Tyr Anasazi? They might know me by another nick name, but they see that on my car. Make sure you can verify all this information well before you agree to even a visit. If possible meet in a public place you may laugh, but even as ugly as I am someone has used my pictures in the past to get the attention of women. Now I will say in today?s society this is not just for women. Think about the last 10 years there are even female serial killers, and what is the best place to meet them? Of course it is the web. If you research you will see that there have been people killed by Dumbinants that use the web to bring women into their web, and when they are done leave them out by the road side. Gather this information, give it to a friend and when you arrive contact that friend and verify all the information. Not only will you be exercising safety but sanity. The difference between a Dominant and a Dumbinant could mean your life.

Bene qui latuit, bene vixit

Anguis in herba

I guess today takes a different turn in my life. My current career is a Commodity Broker, and I have helped the President of the company rebuild through a situation where his brother took all the brokers to another firm, and some were brought back when the office failed. Last night the owner asked me to find a guy that used to work with his brother for an interview. I know this guy and he was a risk because of chemical dependency. There are times even as a Dominant you have to pick between loyalty to a friend, or to a company that you will not be with for the rest of your life. Let?s take the history back 2 years. He came to work for a company I was working for at the time, and from the day he walked in the door he was living past successes. A father of 2 nice children he was going through a divorce, so I helped him by allowing him to stay in my house after she allegedly kicked him out. Well I am one that is observant of a lot of things, I figured out he was doing ?crack? and just slipping down hill. I feel a man is a measure of how he treats the women in his life. It is one thing to act a fool and not get along with an ex-wife, but to spit in her face we had words. I tried to explain that was the mother of his children. I think that might have slowed down the physical abuse. He still bad mouthed her more acceptable in my book, been there done that. I have a mongoose in my past .  Well he went back to where his family is and returned a few times every time being homeless, but bragging how successful he is with one company. How good he is. But two weeks ago he returned, and came to my office to visit. He had just gotten out of jail for a drug related charge (history repeats it self in some ways.) Even being a caring guiding Top (hell no not to men, but if you are true you assist teaching everyone), but when does it end?  Today I had a sit down with the CEO, and gave him the plane straight facts. As a Dom and someday a Master (when I get what I truly desire) I need to take responsibility for the environment that I expect mine in. A man that will curse his mother and spit in his children?s mother face is one you do not wish in an environment that you raise a sub/slave. Sometimes loyalty to friends must be weighed by the reality of life. Dominants listen to these words, if you are real who comes first friends or yours? Set your life as if you have her now, and when the time comes she can feel safe. Lesson Learned!

Animis opibusque parati

Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem

Well I guess it?s time for another episode of as the ?Dom Rants.?  I appreciate those of you that like what I have to say, and are interested in knowing more of my feelings, and the ups and downs of the real life. So let?s discuss relationships and Tyr Anasazi. I have had many opportunities to meet ladies on line, and I have met many here in Florida. Unlike Oklahoma where I brought subs up from Texas many of the ladies in my area I find interesting. I will say this I am not looking for a lay those are a dime a dozen. I had a conversation with an old lover that made her laugh so hard she actually lost her breath. Why do I actually wish to go sleep with someone just for the purpose of sex when she will mostly have her orgasms and me? nothing. Is it really worth lowering my standards? I think not. The stress from my career, and my other interest make it so I really don?t care if I ever get laid; however, if a woman can get into my mind and entertain that she will have me. Many of you are used to just the kind of Dumbinant that sees a pretty face or a hole and goes into ?Dom mode.? But me, it is a constant thing. I am always looking at my self and asking what I can do to complete myself so a sub/slave can sit at my side and feel as she should. Many of my online friends (so called Doms) think me, me, me, but it?s not about me it?s about us! My girl has to be as proud of me as she wants me to be of her, and this is a constant job of self study and improvement. I spent 7 years in the Air Force as an officer. I had to set the example so people would follow me. If I am not an example of someone they can respect how can I expect that? Subs/slaves ask yourself this question besides respecting my Dom how can I get him to respect me? Do you even see it that way? If not I feel sorry for you. This is why I opened today like I did. I just had a friend of a friend by for the last 2 hours, the lady had such self pride she list 140 pounds, and is now working on getting a better life, but we have a mutual acquaintance who we are sure is a drug user. Not to get into his story we now agree if he has to stay on the streets and sink lower he will. Like a drug user sometimes we have to sink as low as we can to find ourselves and grow. Never feel that it is beneath you to do just that it is part of life. We were not all born with a ?silver spoon? , and from past experience we are better because we have to get there on our own. Now in the lifestyle that is a growing process that will make a Dom stronger and understand what someone might feel to serve. I chat on a few different programs, and in one I have found ONE person who holds my utmost respect, she carries herself in a matter of how I feel a slave should. Now I may have a problem with someone talking in the third person, but she is honest (at least from what I have seen), and someone that talks more than about sex and serving. If you think about it 24/7/365 is possible, but there should be some relaxing times where you can be friends and mates. Yes I am in Dom mode 24/7/365, but to me that is self control so that the sub/slave wants to follow the rules and understand that she is there because I have earned the respect. For those of you that demand the respect what happens when someone finds looks past the façade. I have seen people all over be caught, when the veil comes off they are defenseless and look like fools. You Doms remember if you are seriously looking for a real sub/slave be honest, and expect the same. For you ladies never be something on line that you are not willing to be when you meet the man. Subs/slaves you may have the power to give, but there are some that blame the Dom for their problems, but after 2 or 3 Doms something is wrong. Be the real you faults or not, and you will gain the respect. No one is perfect.. well almost no one

Animis opibusque parati

Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur

To start today I am in a very strange mood, it is good and yet cautious. Yesterday I saw my ex boss enter my building of employment and even though I attempted to be polite she saw there was some resentment in seeing her. In a way I find it funny as she look at me like she was my supervisor again, but I am with a different company. Life takes a twist.

Now I am more focused on what I do than anyone at this time. I met a beautiful blonde submissive the other day on the way home the other day and we talked. She ?peeped my whole card? because I was carrying my cat-of-9-tail keychain. She smiled and asked if I knew how to use it. Again she turned out one of the main types of women I avoid. I have no patience for alcoholism. Now for 45 she was exceptional as far as her beauty, but that one flaw was discussed. I understand my personal stress, and I know working with a sub/slave I have to have focus and dedication to make her the better person. She has called and visited my home, but I am thinking to myself if I were a weaker soul or a Dumbinant I would accept her. God it?s funny at my age I should really want to find almost any mate that is willing, but I have standards that many will never stand up to. I may not be rich or have that potential, but I don?t care I just need to be happy. I realize if I am alone and happy with my life why worry.

I enjoy chatting on the mIRC, and I think I have discussed this before. One of the channels on the bondage server there is a D/s radio station that kitten{DD}_DJ gives a morning breakfast show. This is a sub I find more intelligent than most, and many of her subjects are things that I lay out for people in my ramblings. I know chatting is fun, but we discussed instant collars and Velcro collars. In the channel one if the Doms who has known me for years asked why I do not have a collared girl in all the time I have known him. My response was that the ones that attract me are geographically impossible to reach, and I will not relocate again for a woman! I left Beautiful Colorado to move to Oklahomo (no not a Freudian slip I just hate the state.) Now Florida may be different for me, but where could I wind up next? The conversation went on between the two of us in a private message and when we were done, he changed his ideas of what to look for with a girl. Some of us being single do not need or want the web games. So why do we look? I am not looking nor do I care. In a discussion with a very smart sub when you are not looking something will come along that is desirable. God help me!!!! I know my ?house? is better than many of my friends, but I am not in the position I want to be. Can I handle a sub? Great question, yes, but the question should be do I really want to? I will leave today with that. Now it?s time to walk away laughing? Grains are opening soon, so I am going to get on the phone and call clients?. The rant is done for today and my final thought?

Assiduus usus uni rei deditus et ingenium et artem saepe vincit

Requiescat in pace 2005

Welcome to 2006 and a time for many changes. 2005 was an interesting year for me.  There have been many pitfalls and many good things that have happened, but most important I am accepting them, and moving forward. For all of you that read my logs, and feel you can respond. Remember there are standards I have set out through out my journals. In a way I?d rather be alone than go beneath what I wish. Let me explain the last year in a short summary. I was dealing with someone who brought more drama in my life this last year than I have seen in the previous 53 years. Racism and Lies. I at work I used the 3 major chat programs to communicate with clients as well as talk with friends. Yahoo has been one of the areas that was a favorite jump off point of attack. Along with that I added 2 ladies that were below the standards I would accept. If I am willing to share my yahoo nick, I expect someone who is going to chat when I am not working, and understand that I actually have a life; the internet is used for business, and entertainment. Some of you go beyond entertainment and you either know in time you are a friend or a significant interest, it will be my choice. Friends like firstchair are rare, and that is the type of relationship I would like to find my next sub/slave from. Just because I am a Dom please do not expect me to talk to you in a harsh or a disrespectful way, I am not a internet Master I am real. I am not looking for perfect in 2006, but what I seek is average to above average. What I am saying here is if you think you can live on your looks there are those that are out there that prefer the superficial, personally I do not! If you?re a heavy drinker, keep stepping, been there done that. If you?re a mother of minor children and you are not raising them have a damn good explination, I feel there is something wrong (including alcoholism.) if you are overweight thank you, but no thank you. I said in a past post at 54 I am in fairly good shape I expect you to be as well. If you can?t cook from scratch then I have no time. I have to eat, and yes I know my way around the kitchen, so another pet peeve is DON?T TELL ME HOW TO COOK SOMETHING!!!!!! Finally, if drama follows you, stay away a year and a half of drama, and trying to allow someone to grow up was too much. I have no time. Here you see what I will not accept, but what I will is someone who is intelligent enough to know how to be there and capture my attention as well as keep it. I may not need a sub/slave or even want one, but if there is one out there that is right for me it will move as it should??

2006 Res judicata

Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem

Ok Now I have a major rant for submissives. I show who I am and if you do not have a picture, or you are going to delete your profile do not bother to e-mail me! Yesterday I received an e-mail from a sub who was tired of being slammed by Doms. She said she was amazed by my intelligence since I add some Latin phrases that fit with what I say. Well I have been on the net now in chat and other forms of profiles; one thing that bothers me to a large extent is when a profile is deleted after a contact is made. Well I as I said before I am making friends and if someone stood out I would be interested. Again this slave was in her early 40?s and a 23 year old I am talking to shows quite a bit more intelligence. We chatted on yahoo and she is not willing to show her picture even though she has seen mine. Well I contacted her and asked her why she removed her profile, she attacked with ?don?t be so full of yourself? and ?I am considering 3 Doms.? I responded well take me off of your consideration and I had already deleted her name because there was no trust there. But we both agreed that it was the thing to do. I was putting her on ignore, but again like a wounded puppy she lashed out. If you take any time to read my journal I talk a lot about friends. These submissives that are friends have proven to be the type of sub I would want if I were searching! Two may be owned, but they are an example of what quality I look for in a lady, there are a few those are not collared, but again they would be able to turn the corner and take control of a destiny that will be fruitful for the both of us. Some of you more mature subs need to take lessons from your younger counterparts as they understand that it takes time and patience to build trust, so what I am saying it is not only Doms that interact rudely to rejection, but you submissives as well. I will not say she is not a submissive or a slave because I don?t know. I will say she is not the right one for me. Now in closing I am not full of myself, I just know what I don?t want! I know there are a lot of Dumbinants out there that will slam a submissive because they are rejected, but now I see there are subs that do the same thing! Be careful throwing stones if you live in a glass house.

Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur

advocatus diaboli

Yesterday I had a conversation with a beautiful young soul. This lady is trying to find who she is and what she is looking for in the lifestyle. I will say for her young years she showed more intelligence than a lot of Dumbnants that approach many of you ladies. I personally would be interested in this one. I understand now why many of the girls here that are bi tend to go towards women now, the attacks by wanna be?s saying ?your no sub? seems to be a dialogue of many who don?t have the strength to sit and get to know these girls. How can a sub know who she is unless we as Masters and Mistresses understand heir needs and wishes, and take the soft limits to a new level? It is those of you that are so weak that you have to attack that run these newer submissives away. Dom/mes do yourself a favor and take time to know you. I sit here day after day and read profiles, just because I speak that does not mean I want you. It takes a rare flower to spark my attention; she has to be articulate, intelligent and sweet. The willingness to learn and communicate is very important. I am not willing to chase too hard those that I will call ?players?, yes as some Doms are so are some subs/slaves. I will also complement shy123456 for stating clearly what she does not want compared to those who just put up general information. I know a few Doms read my rants, so I am going to say this one time! If you want quality you have to be quality. I am NOT really seeking anything, but I make friends. If one steps out and just takes me by supprise I will be willing to sit and train her. For you more mature ladies shy123456 is one lady you need to take lessons from, she is honest and honorable. firstchair and sexysub1 stand out as well as those that are owned, and are willing to talk to A/anyone (did I just type the cap/small combination?) If you are a someone new to the lifestyle as a Dom, instead of jumping on a subs back, be willing to listen. There are many that know more than you do. I am going to pull a small statement that was sent to me in an e-mail this morning that made me laugh. ?Is it possible that there is a real intellectual thats not going to slam me for being able to carry on an intellegent coversation?? Why should a person be afraid to approach a Dom? I am still wondering why you dumbinates push the better trained subs into approaching someone like this? Let me give another example of what My so called Brothers are doing to what I would call quality as I speak with a sub or read a profile. This is another e-mail ?they talk alot of it.. but they dont wanna hear it... i get people angry all the time... not on perpose but i do...one man asked me why i do not answer his e-mails and i said because really your e-mails gross me out... how can you want to own a girl that you do not own.. maybe on the in side i am a really ugly person... maybe i am a biggot.. maybe i am hateful... maybe i am a liar .. maybe i am a theif... how would you know any of those things unless you too the time to know me before wanting to own me... you can correct behavior but you can not correct who someone really is inside... and he told me i was a fake.. i said a fake what? i claim to be nothing but a girl who likes pain... he has ranted in my e-mail for days lol~~I just delete him...?  The last one came from someone who I think will be a perfect sub for the right Dom, but in the long run I think a Domme will get her because of the immature attitudes she sees. Now lets finalize this with a journal entry from someone, she seems to be a fun sub, but she gets attacked as well. This is funny, wish You Guys (You know who You are , my friends) could see some of this halarious stuff i receive...i am a master, yet can't even take rejection without putting me down, ha ha , never even met me, i am very glad that i get those"I PITY THE POOR DRUNKEN DOM THAT PICKS YOU", messages, god i would hate to be under that kind of "master", if  they can't act more grown up than that, i would probably end up having to raise that one myself....LOL !
  i gotta say, if nothing else, i get a good laugh, since all these "doms" wanna play comedian. they do acomplish one thing, showing their true abilities....roflmaoapmp.....? Now e-mails with her made me laugh, she shows the ability to be a good talker, and will stand behind her man. All 3 of these ladies are of a higher quality, I would put them in the class of my friends firstchair and sassyjackiePBG. One is owned and one is not, but to have the quality of Doms like firstchair?s Master Shilod you young men need to do a self inventory. I really don?t care if you so call Doms don?t like what I say, the ones that take offence are the Dumbinants and Posers, but there are some new Doms that there might be hope for!

Adversus solem ne loquitor

Nemo me impune lacessit
          It has been a while since I have had anything to rant about, but today I have a few things to say. You will notice I am not clear cut of what I seek, and I do make mention of a few things which I like in a submissive, but I will say I look more at the total person. My focus point of beauty is the eyes and soul. I would rather have an ugly woman with a good soul than a Ms America ?biotch.? I am a Down to earth Dom and I would rather be alone than with another ditz. I know I have not completed my life for many of you, and this is because the ?baby Mamma Drama? continues 1700 miles away. I am very protective of what is mine, my subs (when I have one), and my children. I had to move from Oklahoma to be able to fight my ex for proper visitation, and she still has no respect for the courts, but again I have no respect for Oklahoma. My youngest that is a handful anyway has had problems with the stepfather, but as I hear it from other people in that area, everybody does. So you will find about me I have problems with alcoholics and ?ladies? that drink heavy and even beer.                  My life is too stressful to deal with immaturity, and I have found in a few cases the younger ones have more class and their acts together more than the older ones. For all of you subs that think you are the candy in the candy store well think how many Doms here are Dominates and how many are Dumbinants. I avoid dealing even with the poser submissives, and therefore there are 3 ladies from this site I actually have given the pure respect as who I am, and one who is more like one of my children. When a lady messages me and in the beginning offers more than friendship, I step back. I have said many times if I want ?miss easy? I can get that anywhere. If I wanted a loser I would have stayed with my children?s mother. Please if you have anything to say to me, don?t make yourself too available. All that will do is make me laugh. If you are a mother and do not have your children sooner or later that will surface, I have been in that situation before and what I have found is there was something wrong with the mother that they were taken. What this means to you is stay away! If you are a sub that drinks daily, good bye. I have manners and class, If I allow myself a woman in my life she will be trained to complement my every need weather social or personal..                                                                    Like many of you ladies that get messages from Dumbinants I get messages from subnaggers as well, and I try to be polite and yes I have given a few my yahoo. I have had ladies interested, but they can not carry on intelligent conversations, and my favorites are the needy. God get someone else. I would rather be alone than have something below what goals I place on myself than with someone who has no aspirations. Next know how to cook!!!!!!! I can cook anything I want to eat from scratch, I had one sub stay with me and if it wasn?t in a package or a box she had no idea what to do with it. Being a sub do you expect your Master to be the one in the kitchen? I will say if I go to cook, stay out of my kitchen, but you better know how to feed me as well as I can feed you. I am happy right now to be alone, because there is a quanity, but who of you is true quality?

Non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis

Difficile est tenere quae acceperis nisi exerceas

Again I am wishing everybody a good day, I want to discuss personal choices, and how some people are ridiculed because of them, hence the Latin Phrase I am using today. To translate it?s It is difficult to retain what you may have learned unless you should practice it. I have picked this today as a lesson to the past of the Americans. Over the last several months I have been approached by a few Black Doms to form a collation of black Masters. Under normal conditions I see this setting things back about 40 years, but for the 4^th time on this site I have had a conversation with a sub on her choices to pick a black Dom as her man of choice. I need to ask if you have a choice of another race why is it that people attack you when you give a polite ?I?m not interested? or when a lady has it on her profile where is the ?respect of honorable Doms? that it is the choice of a girl to talk to who she sees fit to be with. It is strange the worst ones are the ones that see a black slave/sub and are all over them. Why do you wish to ostracize a person for their choices or colors, as Dom/mes to show we are above the petty prejudices of the ignorant vanilla community? Are we people of pride and power, or are we petty because the black Dom is taking what we are interested in? This goes the same for the submissives. I feel that the Doms or Dumbinants are guilty of this. We are not practicing tolerance with other?s choices, and to me this is as rude as when a girl clearly states in her profile she is owned they just ignore it and attack. If you are guilty of either please take a step back and ask yourself, and I really the quality of person that can train someone to be a better sub? If you answer yes, then check yourself at the door. You should look at your fellow Doms no matter what race and invite them to your munches, you might be surprised that they are not what you had thought, but as intelligent as you are.
            My best friend is a short shaved headed white Dom, and seeing us together is like Mutt and Jeff, but we are known to go out and enjoy life. Going out together it is usually me that attract the women, but I am really not interested in vanilla, or certain types of women. He is prefers more the ones I attract. I look for the total package. We discuss this problem in the community regularly. S I will call him (a shorten version of the nickname he uses) Explained once to me he had an interest in a black sub, (young one) and asked if there was any difference in the approach. I started to laugh and told him to just be himself, if for any reason she rejected him would be age. Needless to say just being him was successful, so what am I saying here? The fear or prejudice we have due to race or difference is out own ignorance dogmatic lack of ability to accept differences, hell we are different from the world out there so we should accept what we are and look to help E/each other grow in the lifestyle. Isn?t that what munches and get togethers are about? Accept the girl who wants a Dom/me of a different race, or the gays or lesbians in the lifestyle, we all have similar desires, but we are different. Make yourself stand out as a Top and if you wish to be respected then respect A/all others.

Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare

Facta Non Verba

God another day, and this one started off making me laugh, I woke up early and decided to chat in the mIRC for a bit. I started off in a vanilla channel that is a take off of a channel I chatted on years ago on another server. We started talking about a so called slave that has for the last few months has been chasing me on MSN. Well I am one that will say I prefer not talking too fast to anyone on the phone. To me it is a respect thing, but I spend 8 hours a day calling people for my career. Now I have made a few request for her and another to call me at work (I have an 800 number, so no cost or obligations were requested.) to this day there has been no calls. This has raised a question. How many of you have thought you were talking to a man/woman and you were actually chatting with the opposite of what you thought? This is one of the games I have found so frequently on the internet. There are two that I now suspect that are men. I find it humorous but there are others that have been hurt by this in the past.

It was interesting how this conversation goes along with one I had here with a sub on collarme. She had come across a Dom that was so in tune with her she fell in love. She continued to speak with this ?gentleman? for the longest. Well it was strange that he was using someone else?s picture that is also on collarme, and she called the other person on it. He sent her a number of other pictures and spoke with her on the phone. He had at that point proven he was who he was by going on cam. Well did that stop the drama? She called the other Dom on this and finally was able to her ?him? on the phone. I guess that some people are so good at their games, but this one backfired on the ?Dumbinant? in the conversation she could hear a lady in the background filling in all the blanks. Don?t you just love the internet? You can always be what you want to be. To many they don?t care who they hurt, they are just enjoying their own simple pleasures. Has the internet made me more cynical? I do speak to whom I see have quality as they enter collarme, but I lose interest in those that are not capable of communicating and keeping it ?real.? Do I seek? Well yes, but for me to find she will have to stand out like a star in a sun lit sky. Someone who actually is  real in the lifestyle and not here for the Vogue of the lifestyle.

advocatus diaboli

Iniqua nunquam regna perpetuo manent.

I have to say I had a nice debate with a submissive last week about the Sadist or abusers who are on the collarme. It was interesting as she was talking about negative personalities, but are they really abusers who are hiding, or are they sadist looking for more the masochist? I had to remind her that there are those out there that seek that personality, so it was not for her to call them sick or fake. There are many aspects to the lifestyle, and just because you were once abused that does not make the sadistic personality something that should be put down, or be said they need medication. This is a personality that should be avoided by those that are not a match. I pointed this out to her; however, the argument went on until I brought up the ?needy? women that are here looking because they are not able to find what they seek in a vanilla world. Please understand when you talk with a Dominant at some point the limits should be discussed, and his desires and experience also should be brought out. Everybody?s experiences and needs will not be a perfect match, and in some cases they will conflict, so if you are a submissive before you come to me and call someone a Dumbinant take a look at the situation. Read and understand more about what BDSM is. I don?t care how long you have been in the lifestyle; you may find something that you were not familiar with. If you read Latin there is a little phrase I am now using to describe myself, and I find it fitting with many things I have to say.

Until my next rant this is Tyr Anasazi aka advocatus diaboli

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

I guess it?s time to go on with my life. After Viet Nam and the death of my first slave/wife I stayed in south East Asia in the Air Force. Taiwan to the Philippines and back to Taiwan, I had no reason to return to the USA because the only woman that gave meaning to my life to that point was gone. In Taiwan I met a martial artist who trained me in Kung Fu, we became close friends. With that friendship I acquired who would become my second slave, His sister. This was a good relationship for each time I was stationed on the Island, Not only did I learn his art, but I became a son of the family as the daughter was property. I will say the combined 2 years I spent with her was a major learning time. Her Father educated me in the ways of their tradition. Yes there was a bond of the heart, but not one that was able to erase the pain of losing my first. I returned to Southern IL to Scott AFB, where I was a flight nurse. Those 18 months were just time spent trying to be vanilla for a change. It had its points, but at that time of my it was a nice change. Yes I missed the lifestyle and the power exchange, but being with friends and traveling was more than enough to occupy my mind.

May of 1977, I had enough of the military and I moved to Denver. Now that is when I was let?s call it brought back into the lifestyle in a different manner. I moved to a place called ?Capitol Hill.? And even though I had a good job I got in with the street people. I met a Prostitute who we will call kishka, she was one of the most profitable ?ho?s ?walking Colfax. This situation became very interesting as she learned my nature fast and bowed to me. Not just did I learn that phase of the lifestyle, but I found friends in other alternative lifestyles. After attempting to move her into more of a lifestyle relationship and away from the streets I gave up, and after 18 months and a few positive things I walked away.

The night I got my apartment set up in Glendale, I went out and met twin 1. We partied and had a good time so I invited her over for breakfast. I let her make a call so her sister wouldn?t work and went to cook. About 10 minuets later I went to ?potty? and when I came out low and behold I met twin 2 thinking she was twin 1. She was the one that gave the clue of what they were. I went to finish cooking and just to see two beauties kneeling and calling me Sir I was a bit shocked, but I watched and waited. I will say owning 2 stunning tall blonds was an interesting situation. I would never again in my life take on that burden. That was when I learned you have to focus on quality and not quantity. Especially when you have 2 brats that think exactly alike. The straw that broke the camel?s back is when they plotted to get pregnant at the same time. I may love feisty and a bit of adventure, but I was not ready for children. From that point I attempted to become vanilla again with a few subs to play with. That was before AIDs. I will say for now I am going to back off, and go into the late 80?s to the present. But I will say the slaves and submissives I met during the late 70?s to the mid 80?s were of a good quality. I guess location helped.

Well to start with I am happy to have my lap top back from repairs so I can rant again between calls. Ok so where do I start?

This morning I had a fun e-mail exchange with a fantastic submissive who is owned, and we just had each other laughing from 7 am to the opening of the grain markets (Yes I trade Commodities for clients.) We opened with talking about all the vultures that go after the owned women because I guess they are just interested in the package and not what the submissive says in her profile. His comments were ?when you want to trade up? Ok what is wrong in this picture? If a girl is happy how is she trading up? She laughed as she drives a Jag and it was a present to her from her Master, and she described his car as a ?little girl?s car.? Now ask yourself how do you know how good you are if you have no idea who you are speaking with. Sexysub1 is a royal ?hoot? and getting to know her is well worth my while. I feel that if some of the Dumbinants stop and take their heads out of their arses they will learn from some of the ladies.

We also talked about some of the ?fake submissives.?  One girl she pointed out to me was here just to promote her web page, can you imagine that? Another problem I have is the Nigerians that try to get with me the first time and call me ?Master.? Damn I don?t know you so no Master no calling me Sir until I earn that respect! Then they want you to move them there right away. I went there once with an American, so nuff said!

Now I want to talk about what I seek, and I know a few people will be hurt by things I say, but I?m a Dom so ask me if I really care? Well I do, but what my wishes are should be respected as well. I am not one to go chasing a lot of women for myself, I like friends. This point is there is a slave that we have been close friends for 2 to 4 years who I would love to be able to take it to the next step, but she is not spending enough time communicating with me as I feel necessary. Communication is very important in a BDSM relationship, as limits are learned and expanded it is better to know who you are and who you are dealing with. I feel this is not just important for the sub, but more for the Dom. How can one be in control when he can not control him/herself? How can you own when you are not intelligent enough to read and respect someone else?s needs and desires?  I am not interested in someone who thinks she is going to come here and sit, smoke, drink and can?t cook. I was so pissed off at my thanksgiving dinner, and everybody thought it was great. Have hi expectations for yourself and be a Dominate not a Dumbinant accepting anything. Needy subs and players stay in your corner, or go play with the vultures; I don?t have time for you. Take care of your appearance as well as your mind. I don?t need you for sex, I can go out casual and never go home alone, but if I dress I bring more attention to myself. I don?t go pick up at bars, that is too 70?s and 80?s to me now, and the ladies at the insurance company downstairs I laugh at when I go out to smoke. All you subs and slaves that wish to talk you can see who I am by what I say in my journals, and learn more about me from the ladies I name by name. For they take the time and have the common sense to make friends, and respect that I respect them.

Honor and respect are earned by only few
Tyr Anasazi

Once again today I dealt with someone who has a miss conception of who I am and what I stand for. I had some married women message me because she likes ?black cock.? Now to me this is an insult, if I wanted just to fuck I wouldn?t be here. I know I can get all the pussy I want, but that is not the issue. The issue here is I am talking to slaves, subs, Dom?s and Dommes about what is real in the lifestyle. Although there is no sub/slave in my life set in stone at this point, I am far from the horny net geek. Women if you are married or owned have the Master of your life contact me for anything but a friendly conversation. Anything else ?Ain?t gonna happen!? I have more pride in my skills than what you may want as just a bed partner!

                New subject! My local sub friend went out on a date to meet a Dom for the first time, and she was so funny when she described an octopus Dom. I laughed so hard I almost pee?d my pants. Gentlemen, just because a woman is a submissive or a slave that doesn?t make her easy. There are those that are here for just that reason, and they are really not what I would consider of the lifestyle. If that is what you seek look at easyslutsrus. you might find the easy ones. To find quality you must be quality. For the most part ladies I have met on this page are of the quality I would have as friends. You have to understand how I think to approach me. Same with the ladies. If you are lucky enough to meet there is a criteria set, and knowing where and why you meet should be established. For the most part many will be upset if you think the first time you see her she will let you touch her places where she is protective of, them some will surprise you. Be a gentleman and things may happen faster than you expect.

                It?s the day after turkey day and I am on lockdown awaiting FedEx to pick up my lap top, so I just took a few to update. To the Tops as well as the bottoms, remember you get what you give, and if you expect quality be that yourself.

Ad vitam Paramus

I think it may be time to say a little about myself, so some people get an idea who I am and what I am. I was born to a D/s couple. My parents were both professors at the University of Chicago, where they were doctors of psychiatry.  There were 3 of us, so you will now see why we are the way we are. Mother was the Dominatrix and she raised 2 Dom sons and a submissive daughter. At 12 years old I went to high school (Yes I was a little geek with an attitude.) Being young I was picked on especially on the way home by the girls at a catholic school on my way home. I delivered my first corporal punishment to one of those girls. All my classmates were almost as amazed as she was. This was the first time I gained respect being the youngest kid in the toughest school on the south side of Chicago. I was not interested in following up with sex, but I continued to spank a number of girls from that school. I found it to be very enjoyable. At 16 I Graduated and went to the University of Minnesota, where I received my first degree which was a BSN. Again I was the campus brat, but I pledged Omega Psi Phi and the guys thought I would never make it being 6? and 145 pounds. I was tough and proved that all my jock brothers could not make this kid bend. I ?crossed the burning sands? just shy of 17. When I graduated I went to the Air Force, a 20 year old RN and Captain. God was that strange. Still a virgin sexually I met my first wife/slave. Now I had no idea we had known each other as small children, and our parents were friends. Her Father was a Dom and trained her as well from birth. He was also a ?nutty professor? like my folks. She was the one that polished me from just loving to spank, but in many new fun ways (well I knew a lot, but sex was not one of them.) Imagine a 4?8? slave with her 6?5? Master (I do love tiny ladies), She actually was the aggressor to gain the relationship, and we were married. While I was in Nam just before she was killed she wrote this and sent it to me. I had a friend type it and save it for me. This might help some of you understand why I read profiles and complement some of you. Also what is in My heart as a Dom. Be well and All take care. I?m gone for today. 

  A Dom/sub Relationship to my husbend /Master

   A submissive to me is someone who will serve their master/mistress with mainly trust, love, honesty, and respect. A submissive must take

in to consideration not only their feelings, but those of there Dom. They must be willing both mentally and physically to serve them at

all times, even when they are apart.  A sub must not take lightly  the choosing of their Dom, they must give it careful consideration. 

Most of all they must not  take their duties lightly!  Their duties  are not just jobs, yet compassion and pleasure to be shared among

them both.  They must also be willing to endure the punishments that fall before them when they do break the rules or guides set before  them.  Punishment is a way for them to learn and remember not to  repeat the actions they have done.  I believe that the 4 main keys to

a Dom/sub relationship are honesty, love, respect, and trust.

     Honesty comes in many shapes and sizes.  It mainly is telling the truth to someone, but that is not all it is.  Honesty is also communicating with someone.  Not holding back anything from the one another.  In a Dom/sub relationship, there must be honesty to make it work.  If one of them is not honest with the other, then often there is misunderstanding, pain, and often suffering unduely!

     Love is essential to a Dom/sub relationship.  Love is both  physical and emotional.  It can range from passion all the way to actually having sex (making love).  As in any elationship, there must be some type of love involved, even in friendship, without it the relationship would whither and die.

     Respect holds a lot to any relationship.  In a Dom/sub relationship, respect yields trust, love, and lots of other things. Honesty, not alone, is something that in this case that helps to yield respect.  Youmust respect each other both while together and apart.

     Trust is earned in every relationship, and therefor is in a  Dom/sub relationship too.  Without trust, their could be no love, respect, and often no honesty.  Honesty in this case too is

another helpful key to trust.  With trust, a sub will serve their Dom better, not only because they will permit more to happen, but they will feel more from their Dom. Without trust the relationship, punishments, learning, and growing are all prevented.

     Although honesty, love, respect, and trust are all seperate things needed in a Dom/sub relationship, they are also entertwined. They work together helping to boost each other and the relationshipto higher levels.  A Dom/sub relationship is nothing to be taken  lightly and takes a lot of work.  It may be hard to do at first,

but it is also rewarding.  As a submissive, I will work to my fullest to give all I have to serve my Dom the best that I can.For without all that I have, only part of the relationship will

work.  To me, to give only part is to waste both yours and the partners time and efforts.      

Advocatus diaboli

I spoke with a dear friend from collarme yesterday, a lady I have known for years. Some of our comments were about people on the site and what we see in them. I will agree on a couple of her points, but again I have to look at the other side. My friend who I have known now for at least 3 years was talking about Doms that are married to vanilla wives, and they are on the site looking for a little playmate on the side, this as well can be asked about submissives that are doing the same. I should have asked her if it was consensual.

I know of many that play on line and hide it, but is this right? You have to ask yourself not is it right, but is it right for you. I once met a girl here in Florida that was doing this very thing behind her husband?s back; her motive was she was getting back at him. I played her game until one day at Wal Mart she saw me with a friend, and had a fit. How can you cheat on a spouse and expect a Master/sub to sit back on their ass and have nothing. It may be something a Master can place upon a single girl, but not a demand a sub can place on a Master. Then this brings up another issue TRUST! Think about the importance of trust in a D/s relationship. Can you actually trust the one that has something that is behind the Husband/wife?s back? Ask them if it is something agreed by their mate, and if so ask to speak with them. You will be surprised in the case of some submissives it will be allowed. But the Dom is usually just being one of the guys. I know this one is going to piss off a few guys, but she asked my feelings. Remember you have to earn trust you can?t demand it.

Her next question is about overweight Doms; well this is something I was asked about before. I don?t mind at my size. LOL? To go there, I have a number of old chat partners that asked how could some overweight guy take care of them when they can?t take care of themselves.  To me this is a good point. Men are different than women in a few ways, when you have a child it changes your body. If you are able to you get back in shape right away, but there are hormones that also act differently in women than men. These will in many women never allow them to gain back the figure. Now as you get older it gets harder to lose the weight, diets and exercise I have seen fail as well. Women are different so you have to understand each case there. Now if you are a bit ?thick? be willing to understand the other people and not put them down for how they feel.

Finally I am not going to cry or complain that the one I seek has not come about as of yet, I felt the perfect sub was there, but she seems not to be what I expected. Understand that I read all the profiles and many I say hello to. Other?s I complement on their profiles, and there are a few that I throw a hint of interest. The latter is the smallest group; don?t take my nature for weakness? I am one that would prefer talking to you as any other person I would meet in a vanilla chat channel or on the streets. I am not going to reviles what I seek in a sub until I know you have the potential to understand. I am finding that some of the younger girls are more willing to be themselves than you older ones. Ask yourself are you so set in your ways that a ?kid? (excuse me ladies) is more mature than someone over 35?  I have met quality people on collarme as well as some people that I would talk to for a few minuets and say ?damn? walking away laughing. If you can approach me properly we may have am opportunity to be friends, but if you come on strong I may just laugh and be very polite. As for whom I thought was the one, she came to me as a lady, and returned now she is in limbo once more. She needs to ask herself is she one of the many.

Condemnant qui non intelligent.

Things can change in a day. Last night I had a wonderful talk with a sub here on collar me. I know this is an angel because of what she stands for. Although, there is a limit of mine she has to complete to move on, her quality is above most I speak with. Understanding that there are many nice bodies out there, think what makes you stand out. I do not see myself as special, but what I do see in myself is I will not go below me for what I want. I have standards and if you fit them you and I may talk above a superficial level. I admit I am not aggressively seeking a sub, why should I compete with the rest of the world when I am different. There are two submissives here that know what I will say is who I am, and one I laugh with like she is my young sister. Yes she is owned and that makes her safe to share with. She also informed her Master of O/our friendship. Therefore I feel safe talking to her, and there is no chance of her bowing and offering me her neck. There is one more that has met me real life and she knows this old Dom would be there if she needed him, I hope she will be the same when time comes.

Now I want to rant again about something I learned here on line. There are users in every program; I can not tell you the signs of what you are looking for. Some are women, but many are men. A friend was taken out by a Dumbinant and was told she was to pay the bill.  She was also told to get a place, now after first, last and current this guy disappears and does nothing to help her. This is as bad as a girl that gave a story in the IRC and conned about 10K from a number of men, or there is one on yahoo that gets 20K a pop. Ladies be careful and get to know who you are giving yourself to. Pick someone you click with. Submission is your gift, if you don?t give it freely a Dom is just a Dom not a Master.

End of today?s rant!

PS I hope to have a little secret soon?.

What a Monday so far and yes this is a positive thing. Yesterday and this morning I communicated with an excellent submissive from the state I grew up in. She brought up a point about a married sub in a relationship with a Dom or a Dumbinants that wants her to leave her husband. People you need to set limits with your top when you establish the relationship. I am one that would prefer meeting only single women. I have gone the route with married women in the past, and after my last encounter? NO THANK YOU! In my case one ruined it for any possible quality lady out there. Now you Doms should ask yourself if you were married would you leave your wife for your sub/ slave. I bet you would make promises, but when it comes down to it NO. This is the same story of a divorce, the girl is offering you something that you are allowed to borrow if it is an open relationship, or something that is hush hush remember it is a gift. If you are good at taking her away from her husband what makes you so sure if she sees you are a Dumbinant she will not be taken from you?  I am amazed how many of the people here do not use common sense with these measures. People! Think before you act!

Now a personal matter, I am asked what I seek, and this is something I get a lot of. I am looking for something more in a sub/slave than just a doormat, or just a toy. I am looking for my mate. There are two ladies I can say I spoke with that have that potential, but neither had the staying power to get to know me or me them. I focus on chatting on yahoo or MSN and if a girl is willing to talk, I watch what is said for a while. I am not going to command you, nor will I want to see you nude too fast (but I will say 1 of the 2 this is all I saw, and wow.) I look into eyes. I can cook (and I am not talking ready made add water), so I would expect the same from you. Ask yourself can you be a good friend and a sub/slave at the same time? It is easier to own one who is willing and feisty than one that try?s to test your patience. Been there done that. I used to have age as a hard limit, but there are a few on here that make the ?older? subs look bad. W/we all have some baggage, but get real, and grow up! Don?t burden me with the games? Finally I am 54 years old! I am in shape and all I do is sit and talk on the phone, cook and if I want to play a game, it is on my computer. If you are coming to talk with me at least complement me physically. I don?t work hard to look like I do, so you should try at least if you are a ?bbw? to do it in such a way that you stand out. I will not do needy or what seems to be future drama queens,  I am far from pretty and far from rich, but I am very picky about myself and I can afford to be picky about who I want you should be as well.

Again I wonder if my fellow males can read or do they just look at pictures. Today I had a second request on yahoo for someone to be added to my friends list, now mind you I have 1 main profile and 6 sub profiles. My profiles clearly say I am male. This time he asked if I wanted to suck his ?cock.? At that point I asked if he could read. This profile not only says I am male, but it also says I am a Dom. This guy wanted to start an argument and called me every disparaging name I have ever heard to be used on females. In the end I wound up placing him on ignore with the comment if he was actually able to get a women in real life he would not be begging on yahoo. With the exception of a few women that feel they are owed a collar I feel sorry for most.  Guys like this also come on collar me and believe because a woman is a submissive she is easy, and will bend to their will. Now I want to ask how many of you actually get messages from so called men (excuse me they are boys) that you make certain request and they have no self respect and write you anyway making request for more than just friendship. Have you ever asked yourself if they think they are above you or just not able to read? I would say both, notice when you correct them they become defensive. Now to me that makes me laugh. Little boys never grow up, they learn about cybersex and feel they are owed. I guess there are enough of you ladies that make it bad for all the others. If any of you bow to idiots what do you think your sisters are going to get when the same guy goes to them and say no? Today I came across an interesting profile a girl has given up hope because of people like this. For you that accept this treatment  it is you that allows these boys to continue. If you are a sub or even a slave until you are collared you are a person with choices. When you bow to this treatment you do not only hurt yourself you hurt your fellow bottoms.

Happy Monday! Again I am back talking about people that don?t read profiles. Now again it is a sub, he is owned, but he wants his vanilla wife trained. Excuse me just because I am black I am not willing to screw your woman no matter what race she is. My rants say I would accept what I want for me. I feel a good BDSM relationship entails a lot more than a sexual connection, but a bond between 2 or more people that is a power exchange. So what I am saying is don?t offer me your wife or girlfriend to train, I can find some short term playmates if that is what I want. What do I really want? Let?s discuss being a displaced father if you are a mother of young children and they are not with you? that brings up amber light. I ask myself why are they with your parents (God don?t let the state have them that is a red light!)  I do understand a lot but I always ask myself why a woman is so pushy getting to me. I am laid back on my quest to a point that I don?t care if I ever find ?the one?. For the aggressive ones I am asking myself why do I want you. My friend Voradorslil1 I find as a great pleasure to know (except when she wakes me up on yahoo.) she is a charm and will be to her Master when she is recollared. For a lady so young in her years she has more insight than a few in their 50?s. She is one of the type I spoke of in the past that her maturity out weighs that of many that are supposed to be mature. Some of you that complain about Dom/mes should also look how you approach. Remember respect is a 2 way street. And in closing Guys I don?t want your wives, girlfriends or sisters!!!

I know submissives always run into Dumbinants, Posers and wanna bes, well knowing how you feel about that tell me how would you feel about one of your sisters that won?t take no for an answer? The other day I was here doing my journal and talking with a young sub when someone sent a mail, as a Gentleman I respond to everyone. I try not to be offensive, but I was on the verge of losing my cool and going into verbal abuse mode, so I put her on ignore. I had spoken with her in the past and was polite when I let her know I am interested in friends. I feel as a friend I can build trust. Well the same evening I went in chat on the IRC, I had more or less slowed down visiting over the last 3 years, but I have some very close dear friends there. She was there and as soon as I arrived in the channel once again she started her sales pitch. She was talking with one of my fellow Doms about her virtues. Then she used my name in channel which I found to be offensive to say she was trying to show how much of a quality of sub she is. Now at this point I was offended and bordered on the edge of rage. I had gone through a hurricane the week before, I had just experienced a hurricane, and I was tired and sore. But she felt it was her right to pursue me. I find that when you are told no you do not exercise discretion to just move on and talk as a friend, so I fine that to be in bad taste. Then she offended one of her sisters in the channel as well after I informed her of my current physical and emotional condition. Now I am glad I have friends I had known a few years there as they messaged me and confirmed she was in a habit of not maintaining the proper respect to anyone else. Many of you ladies talk about the lack of respect of the Dumbinants here, but there are a few girls that seem to show the same lack of respect, or selfishness that they feel a Dom owes them the time. Dear submissives/ slaves not every Dom here is so desperate that they want your service now. There are some that actually want to know more about what they pursue besides sex. Take time to figure who you are talking to, and if there is an interest what do you have to do to build the potential relationship. A true Dom seeking a 24/7 TPE will take his time in his examination, and know how to train you as well as treat you. But if you show you are needy, or sex is what you think the whole lifestyle is about you may lose out on what could be the quality of life you deserve. You may have the power to give the gift, but if you show that you are desperate you may lose out on a one and a lifetime opportunity. Show yourself as respectful, and you will get the better Masters out there. You may have the power of the gift to give, but to get quality show quality.

I had a question asked of me by a young sub; she is new to the cyber world. She asked me how you learn to trust in the world of the internet. Thinking about this I sat back and thought. I speak a lot of players, posers and Dumbinants, but a real Dom is a respectful person who is willing to communicate and get to know a girl. Understand her emotional needs and mold them as well as her sexual needs. Trust takes time and patience. I have been on the web now for 9 years, and I have seen it all, and in some cases with my F/friends have played it all. One thing I enjoy is the men with the 12 inches. What is 12 inches on the internet 4 inches and a smile?

 I used to chat in an interracial channel on a program. I was the first Black Dom on the channel my best real life friend a White Dom was also there as many new Doms popped up day by day all we could do is laugh. People sent old pictures and fake pictures to gain attention. Men would brag on their dick (cock) size, most lied. We even had people posing to be the other sex. How can you learn to trust on the internet get to know the person and talk? Progress slowly to obtain the ultimate goal you seek. Patience and listening carefully is something that can make or brake. Do not worry about failure until you get to the point where you know that there is a true connection. Trust yourself so you can learn to trust others.

Well finally we have power on in the neighborhood, Last night I spoke with a young submissive here, and she has collared and owned on her profile to avoid what she calls the ?Dumbinants?  It was priceless to hear. I am not sure how many of you have read all the way back, but let me explain why I am so picky about who gets farther than just a quick conversation. I am a 54 year old Dom who was in the lifestyle by the graces of a Mother who was in the lifestyle. I am the mellower of the two sons. I have owned a few in my life and in more than one case I had poly relationships. One was a set of twins that was a major hand full. I am the Father of 3 daughters two that are teens and do not live with me. The youngest has my younger brother?s personality (God I would hate to be her submissive or slave when she discovers who she is.) This is a child that we are working on getting her out of Oklahoma and here with me in FL. To pick a girl I have to not only see her submission, but her brains and patience as well. This is why I am picky about who gets my yahoo, and even pickier about whom gets my phone number. I am also protective of submissives and slaves. I refuse to call you until I feel you know you are safe giving your number. I know how to get addresses from the web, so if I do I know that there are weirdo?s that can as well. Ladies protect yourself from idiots, they are everywhere. Many of you also have children, and for a 24/7 TPE think about who you can trust with your children, there are many perverts and pedophiles out there looking to be predators. I heard many stories on the internet of unwilling victims that were made to accept it. Be honest if this is what you want never say a word to me I am a Father before a Dom, and if you have children and belong to me they become mine to protect as well. There are those of you who have gotten to know me and others who just hit and run. In closing I would like to give respect to someone names sexysub1 she is one of the ladies I am talking about with Dumbinants bothering her as she is owned and seeks a sister. Sometimes I wonder if people can read, or do they not even care. Think about this some Dumbanants will throw enough messages out there until they get someone green enough to believe them, and then that submissive gets a bad idea of the lifestyle from the beginning.

The calm after the storm.

It has been 4 days since we were plagued by Hurricane Wilma, and even though we were not beat up like Katrina did New Orleans we are seeing how people really are. I have not changed I am still giving and helping others in my area. But there are a few people here I have to laugh at. Gas is at a premium here only because of the lack of electricity in certain areas. One of my neighbors I had to laugh at he was selling what looked like 15 to 20 dollars worth of gas for $50. Come on a person who is willing to be taken advantage of like that? Someone too old to go get it themselves. They were also selling bags of ice for 2.00 when they were getting it free. This is just the icing on the cake what Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb have been doing. Now I think this is even funnier. I had my telephone except 3 hours since Monday, well I thought about buying a generator to save the food I have in my freezer. Someone I know said I could bring it to their house and work as well as run their house. Now I asked myself that she knows I am a Dom, but does she actually think I am dumb enough to fall for that. Any points gained up to that point are lost. As hard as generators are to find yes I have one, and in two days I have gone through over $100.00 in gas. They are saying that we will be doing this for up to 4 weeks with Hurricane Beta off in the Caribbean we have something to worry about. Here is another one I have to laugh at. Helping one friend to have power for her house another lady has been saying what she needs and what she doesn?t. I think this woman has a problem, but let her take a lady with kids down!!!!!! Not my business!!! Out of all the people I have met here at collar me, I do worry about the friends I have made in Florida and the ones who told me of their on line Masters here in Florida, some I have heard from others I have not. But the ones I see on yahoo, MSN and AOL I know are fine others I wait to see. I will say if there is a natural disaster in your area, please think how you would feel if you could not do for yourself and help those who can?t help themselves. And for Closing? Since I grew up on the south side of Chicago, and was able to sneak in Cominsky Park as a kid. I am Glad I didn?t miss the last game of the World Series. To those in Texas can you say SWEEP? To My fellow Chicagoans no matter where you are. We are world champs?. Go White Sox!!!

God it?s Friday already in south Florida and as I sit waiting for what we joke as the ?Flintstone Hurricane? Wilma I am working watching the markets and chatting as nothing is happening as far as work. The people I chat with from western Florida I am worried about as I will see the end of the strike of the storm, but they are in the path. I even invited a sub over and told her to bring her family. After Katrina I have a healthy respect unlike what I felt behind Frances and Jeanne last year. This is an interesting season.  Now Alpha seems to be starting up.

    Now for my latest laugh at how so called Doms are on the web. L/ladies if you are on yahoo do you get a rush of HNGs just because you are female? A friend and I put up a profile of a woman and gave her a name as well as an interesting profile, and wow the responses from people. We have a lady that visits and sits there and chats as this lady. Now the women in the picture is in her 60?s and a BBW, but she is getting an average of 30 hits an hour. The so called Doms without knowing her history start out commanding (God where was the internet when I got my Master?s? ROFL.)  They demand her cam, as well as tell her she ?will bow and talk to them nude.? Where is the control they are supposed to have doesn?t that start with in? I know I am stepping on toes, but I will not give a name, one actually demanded her to make a profile on collarme.com and put his collar on. Demanded her phone number and told her he wanted her home and not cell, that way he could get her address. We gave my home number. When he called and asked she answered but he had already looked up the address to go with the name. He was irate and told her she had to move. All this was on a speaker. Now here is the icing on the cake. He finally figured he was on a speaker and asked who was there, All 3 of us responded and he decided he was going to challenge me. I am not her Master my friend is. I let him growl like a dog, but when the Cat took over he whimpered like a puppy. OK if you are a Dom and reading this if other Doms are laughing at you, what do you think a seasoned sub is doing?  I made a new friend here; she is 21 and fun to chat with. Yes she has problems and a decision to make. I will support her as a friend, but also as someone she can turn to that will help by making her think. She will know who she is when she reads this. Even though I am not seeking, I have a decision to make as well, and I realize mine will go through communication. I will be up front; I will only accept someone mature enough to communicate on a good level with me. She has to be more than a sub, but a friend, a lover and in time a spouse. To display the shell (body) is just a tease. This morning someone actually picked what I look at first and sent a picture. In a subsequent e-mail she mentioned her eyes. BINGO!!!!!! Send that girl to the top of the class. Ladies figure out who you are talking with. We all have priorities. I am not a child but mature. I also live in Florida, so your body is your body, I want to see your heart, mind and soul? they will last forever. Doms grow up and think, ladies watch who you talk to not all of us are HNGs.

Thank you raerae39 smart move, and voradorslil1 you know I will be here as a friend as you need me. Oh and firstchair my friend yes I do have a few choices, but as a friend I may let you and your Master in on how I will make my decision.

Now back to work? Peace

It's time to lighten the moment with something funny. Thank you I took from a sub's journal Thank you sengirl

You might be a wanna be Dom if:

*If you think it's perfectly acceptable to address all submissives as "slut"...
you might be a Wannabe.

 *If you enter a chat room and command all the subs to call you Sir...
you might be a Wannabe.

*If you're trying to book a flight to GOR...
 you might be a Wannabe.

*If you can't understand why a sub refuses to meet you for the first time alone at your place...
you might be a Wannabe .

*If you think R/L is just like cyber... *you might be a Wannabe .

*If you think Dom's can't show their feelings and need to be cold and aloof... you might be a Wannabe.
*
*If household items don't inspire you (wooden spoons, clothespins, etc.)... you might be a Wannabe.

You might be a wannabe sub if:

*If you've never considered the possibility that your online Master is really a 14-year-old named Jason... you might be a Wannabe. .

*If you think you have no limits... you might be a Wannabe .

*If you think you must have total respect for anyone who calls himself/herself Dom/Domme... you might be a Wannabe.

*If you think being a sub is all about being abused... you might be a Wannabe.

*If you have to remove your collar so your Master can walk his dog... you might be a Wannabe (and your Dom is really cheap) .

*If you have to spit out your chewing tobacco before you can be gagged... you might be a redneck as well as a Wannabe.

FROM: AMBROSIO's BDSM SITE

    Well again I have something to talk about. I am here to meet people and sometimes to chat. If I do find ?The One? it will take time. Last night I was at home working and roasting a chicken (Yes I can cook.) I received an e-mail of someone wanting her husband to send her to me. Well let?s establish something; I will not fulfill your fantasy if you just want a black man with your wife. If I am interested in a couple both parties will be trained. Next if you e-mail me and you are interested please have the same respect for me as I have for other people. There is only one person I have not wished to see what she looks like, and there is a positive reason for that.  Have a picture, and I prefer you being dressed and a facial shot. I am very much an eye man; I wish to see your soul. Glasses are a plus. Do not come to me with Sir and for God?s sake never with Master.

         Yesterday I went back to see my local sub friend, and after helping her set up her profile here things changed and she has had only one Dom attack her, well She is good she found the ignore button. It can be useful!!!! We talked about some of the approaches, and it would be nice if Dom/mes followed protocol as well. I wonder how a ?Mature? top can send a submissive or a slave a note saying ?down on your knees? or ?you?re a sub I?m a Dom do as I say? before they know who she is and what she?s about. Get real. I was even called my friend?s mentor. P/people I have friends that are submissives, More than Dom/mes they do not have as fragile ego as most tops. And from past internet experience 90% know a hell of a lot more. The lady I know local if you figure who she is she is one in that category. Get a clue!!!! If you?re a Dom don?t get laughed at by these ladies or run them off. There is another beautiful young black sub in Miami; her comments were priceless about a Dom who needs to keep his mouth shut as he did not know her. Try doing a shot of Chervo gold and seeing that. Nuff said! Gentlemen (I use the term loosely) read the profiles and know a bit more before you even ask limits. I will see what a girl is made of with ?How can I help you?? or ?How can you help me? Those two if I get a wrong answer I am closing and not responding. Guys learn to show you are the top and not just some vulture sitting on a branch waiting to attack anything in a skirt.

Yesterday I had an interesting time in Chat. It seems you can always tell the newer Doms and Dominatrix they seem to be the more demanding at the beginning. I know many of the submissives in the chat rooms do show proper protocol, but when a newbie comes in that makes commands to some of the submissives it seems to be funny. Many of these submissives forgot more than the so called tops have learned, and yet they feel because they call themselves a Dominate they have the right to demand a title. Since I knew many of the submissives there I was receiving IMs from some of the free ones making comments and laughing with me. I was embarrassed for them. How do you get a newbie to understand that the lifestyle is a dynamic learning process? Let?s add some icing to this cake. I decided to read a few Profiles of Dominates and Dominatrix this morning as I sit at my desk, and I can tell the newbie from the experience, but al least one was honest in how she presented herself. Many are just demanding. These are her words ?you may call Me Mistress XXXXXXXX or just Mistress.  I'm new to the lifestyle.? How about just getting to know someone first and then earn what they call you? To be a Sir or Ma?am is an honor of how you carry yourself and how you are perceived by whom you talk with. Now as far as Master or Mistress, that is a different story which the submissive or slave is owned by you. I have been in the lifestyle my whole life and I shutter when someone I don?t know calls me Master. Unless they are Gorean (I know Gor as well.) I wonder what they know. A Master is an owner of said person, and from what My Mother explained to me years ago, it is an insult to one?s top to be forced to address someone who is not them as ?Master? or ?Mistress?. I love to watch people who lack the knowledge to put this into place. To me this is as bad as a ?Velcro collar.?  The whole day had a few of the more mature slaves in the channel calling me and another friend ?God.? Well an only one of five of these new wanna Bes caught the hint. I am not too talkative, but I am far from quiet. A few of my submissive friends that know me personally said they can tell by my presence (I want some of what they smoke LOL.) I don?t consider myself as special, but what I do know is I am who I am get to know me before you judge. People you could actually learn something from the experience bottom by just talking. There are very few subs out there that will mentor a Top. I even met one that trained her top the way she wanted them (Ironic yes but efficient) Oh God interrupted in he middle of a thought.

Well on that note I am back to work, shows you what it?s like to work and think. *gets off his soap box, and shuts the door.

Another day is just another day?

Today while I was at my office I was looking through the profiles and saw a local submissive friend here. She is a very sweet lady and the Dom that captures her will have a real work of art. While we talked she was ready to pull her profile the first day! We talked about what was bothering her and why. This is a lady I really happen to like, respect and enjoy laughing with, but being a customer in her store we have a taboo. Too bad guys don?t read or they wouldn't attack new submissives like vultures! I had a tendency of staying away from women under 35, but as of late I have found a 19 year old that has her act together better than a few women in their 50?s that I know. But I have found many women do not want to be approached by older men. Guys look at the profiles; many will tell you exactly what they seek! I just enjoy knowing as much as I can about people so I read all profiles (well bi and straight ladies {but lately a lesbian sent me a note and I am interested in getting to know her}.) I do comment to some people who I actually find interesting and intelligent. I personally am not actually seeking anything but friendship; the submissive or slave that gets my collar will be a friend first.

Next I received a mail from a very nice owned submissive and reading her profile she had to say more than one way no thank you to seekers. I feel sorry for the submissives here! In the Air Force We had a spot in the bar at the officers club where the singles hung out. It was fondly called the ?Vultures Den? all the single officers lined up and waited for un escorted ladies to show and it was all over. I am beginning a lot of the guys have no life except to go after anything new that shows up. Some of you can relax and not give unaware women the mail bombardment of her life.

A Biggie is this! When she told me that they were already demanding to be called Sir I almost asked names and was going to say something. I stopped myself. I was Sir in the Air Force here I am Xan, Tyr or if you know my real name use it. Get to know the submissives and EARN respect, I am not Lord, Sir or Master and I enjoy it (I don?t wanna feel my age LOL.) All I am saying here is the real subs and slaves will talk respectfully, you have to earn their respect as well. I ask myself when a submissive comes to me and ask what I want her to do, What commands I have. To me cyber subs are not my cup of tea; It?s like going in the shower with a scuba suit on. A real submissive or slave usually feels the same way if it starts on day one. I have occasion to chat with a free sub and a slave on yahoo, Both excellent ladies firstchair and delicateme are the opposite. One respects me and speaks as she would anyone, and the owned one is proper with protocol, to me they are just as enjoyable to talk to. All the people I know from this site that have gone beyond e-mail (not meeting any yet.) By the way delicate is unowned and one of the sweetest ladies I know. If you are close to her she can be earned by the right Dom. I can not put all the yahoo names with CM names, but all the ladies still on my list are in my book keepers. But I have gotten to know them. Most don?t Sir me, but there is an understanding that I have to respect. Guys learn from the true submissives and slaves if they are interested they will give you the proper title. Earn it!

Now I?m going to get off my high horse and have a white Russian before I cook, and relax.

?The One?

The other day I was sent a mail here asking me if I had found ?the one.? I have taken time to ponder that query, and I have a few things to say on that question. I have made a few very close friends at this site, I give admiration to not only them, but if they are owned I show the same reverence to the Masters that  I would expect to receive.

What is ?The One?? She is an important person who spends time with me as herself and not as a submissive. She is not only my bottom but my friend. As a friend we are able to relate on a number of levels. Not only will I depend upon her to conform and serve, but stand at my side in a vanilla world. This is why only a select handful have received my chat names, and in the time I have been here on collar me one has been removed. I am looking for more of an inner beauty which will remain well past her physical beauty. Vanilla sex is not an issue, but as a full time sub it is part of the relationship. She must be able to blend in, or stand out depending on the situation. Can this happen in a week? I think not. Ask yourself are you serene enough to build a liaison that will last? I have seen in my years on the net the ?add water and instant collar? too many times. These state of affairs as a rule become Velcro. To me giving a Velcro collar is reprehensible. I have done that only once, and never again will I. There are also the ones that travel and play with the Doms/mes or Submissives/slaves to add a notch in their bed. I am a intense Dom, and I am not willing to settle ever again.

I do not want a play partner. I can go to Wal-mart Cosco, or any other store and find a play mate for the afternoon or nite. To me that is no longer fun. I enjoy more the exchange of ideas and cultivation of what is to be. I will say one of my biggest turn offs is someone who has no idea what I am about calling me Master. Who do I own, and if I did please don?t disregard her saying that. My second pet peeve is someone who comes making an offer on her first e-mail. I am like who the hell are you? Since I am not a ?Master? have I found the one? I see no collared girls name connected with mine. I will present proudly the name of she who takes my collar. I will preserve all the friendships I make as a matter of honor. As for the one, as she who will bows to me as her Master I will bow to her as my respectful sub/ slave and we will be more than just her Master, but her mate, friend and lover. Can you fit the bill? You have to seek to find. I do not seek, I will just accept she who is my dream.

Today I plan to place this, and see how long it is before she comments.

The last three days have been different for me as I spoke with my friend from another site. Yes I have gotten work done, but I have been more interested in her than being on the phone with clients (don?t ya just love computers.) W/we both agree that this was something I had to focus on. Yes it is another rollercoaster ride in the markets and talks about ?Rita? is causing major moves, but again I am distracted by what is given. I think there is a meeting in the near future to see if the girl belongs on her knees for the rest of my life. She is the kind of slave that it makes no sense to let her get away, she was a friend for over a year and short e-mail communication was all we had, but in 3 days it seems like she is met for me. I dare not ask to see her face at this point because not only does she have a slave?s heart, but the soul of an angel. As tiny as she I have seen her kind top many of the wanna be?s from the bottom. You have to love a well trained slave because they learned well and can see what is what. What I would say is beautiful is to this point I have not seen her face and I do not worry what she looks like. I am curious, but yet the mystery of the façade makes me more curious, but her gentle cute spirit brings me in deeper. She understands what she is and who she is, but in the long run she will learn to be more. Although a slave she will learn to be a lady at her Master?s side in public as well as in private. She carries the class in her demeanor that?s she can be shown collared but in a setting where they would never understand her position. Certain things that make a class act are inborn, and I feel when the collar is offered and she accepts it she will have the quality of a slave than any Master would bow himself to own. Diamonds are forever, but what is given may not be measured.

I was in a conversation the other day what was the ideal sub/ slave. I had to really think about this and something came to mind yesterday morning. You that read my journal always see me speaking respect comes two ways. The Dom/me that expects it needs as well to give it. Many subs and slaves are newer and have different expectations than the ones that have been in the lifestyle. I have been here over a year and have yet to seek to collar as I read all the profiles. I was just in the mood to actually get to know someone. Well perfection was there all the time. A while ago I made a friend on another site; she was trained from a very young age. Not only is she a gem, but a diamond in the rough. We talked and I was sent one picture over a year ago, not her face and not what I would consider a good picture. She made a request that I would not contact her on yahoo and so we spoke in occasional e-mails. After that conversation I asked her if she was willing to add me she was welcome to. Once she added me we have had 2 days of the most interesting conversations and she has taken a special part of me. Perfect may be right under your nose at any time and if don?t open your eyes you may miss the perfect prize. I have asked her to this site since she also liked to read some of the ranting that I had made in other places. I not only offer her my friendship now but my protection and guidance. Not at this time as a Master or her Dom, but a friend who she has taken his attention. Good communication builds strong relationships especially in our lifestyle. What we need to remember we can not capture what is given2none.

This is an interesting story about how O/our lifestyle is becoming Vogue. I have chatted off and on since 1996 in many diverse arenas. When I get bored of one I seem to find another when I feel like I wish to chat. About 2 years ago I joined a game named the Sims online, an interesting place to chat. What makes it unique is that you make an avatar representing yourself. You can be anybody (in some cases anything.) you want. I am a little me. I started this in 2002 and was a quiet Dom not being outward my knowledge of the lifestyle. In no time a few submissives picked me out and started talking to me. Back then there were a few of us. We knew the lifestyle and carried ourselves with our own personalities and mannerisms. As in anywhere on the internet the submissives out numbered the Doms, and that?s when the players and abusers started. Alpha Wolf took his and left the game as did Sir Dom and a number of the respected, but that left more subs going after fewer Doms. As I do here I held my ground and was very picky. My first mate in the game was 11 months in; she was my best friend and a vanilla. Great friendship that we still talk and enjoy ourselves knowing the difference in our lifestyles and mutual respect. Well now with the shortage many of the vanilla men who once stated ?you are showing women disrespect? or ?you?re a womanizer started putting ?I am a Dominate? or ?Dominate? in their profiles and a lot of women put ?Domme? in theirs to attract the submissives. Many of these had more than 1 chat account so they could collect play different roles or for what ever reason they were not those of honor to gain trust.

Even worst than that there are a few that are abusive to people. Lets use the name Marlenus as a lack of a better name to use. This person has switched roles so many times that it is hard to know what he is. He now decided he was Gorean, and seems believe that he saying he is a Master allows him to abuse all that are subs as well as those that have friends that are Doms. My first encounter with this person was in my ?Home? (Channels are houses), and I had a few younger visitors that were talking Ebonics (what a laugh) He attacked them so I booted him from the house. I learned about His attacks on mostly women and minorities and all I could do is shake my head. Well as time went on he started just to attack for the lack of anything better to do, but then he got personal and went directly after a younger friend (she was 15 not a sub and never bothered anyone.) Well it was a day that I was home and trying to do something else. I had to come in the ?game? and protect his child as well as a few others. Now answer this would you respect a Dominate that shows no restraints with who they attack and say ?Obey me because I am me?? Blind ignorance in our community is now growing as more people join the internet, and learn we exist. Many use it as a way to carry out aggression, and even reading profiles here I have seen a few submissives abused and safe words not respected. Is this what we should expect from future Dom/mes which are internet trained? We need to take a look at who we are and what we want to leave to the world. This is what could happen if we don?t set better examples or try to direct and mentor other Dom/mes.

It?s a Monday, and yes it?s been a while since I have had something to say. So lets start here... I have to explain yahoo and why very few people that ask for it receive it. I use yahoo, msn, and aim when I work to chat with clients. I had a sub from here get offended as I tried to explain to her I was at my office and busy. I was very polite and was courteous as long as I could be as I attempted to juggle 4 clients and a phone and her. Hell if I was so rich I didn?t have to pay attention to what I do, I?d buy the pick of the litter from his site. But between watching, talking and typing my day is hell....................

I still read profiles and many of the submissives get it faster than the Dom/mes. There are a few I have seen had to make journal entries to protect themselves. I have a question, if our lifestyle is consensual why are there so many Dom/mes that don?t understand a no? Why do some make new profiles to attack a submissive that was not interested? Where is the self respect that a Dominate should show? I learned very young respect is earned, even in the military where I was an officer I called enlisted people Sir who obliviously had to follow my orders, but they were more willing because I gave them the respect they deserved. I have only had one submissive that showed me she did not deserve the respect, and she was not given it. You have to know if they deserve it before you go rolling through.............................................

Now to answer a few questions Yes I am single. If you are married I will not take you from your husband so don?t bother me. I am not willing to be bothered with the drama. No I am not bi or gay, so you males that are looking for a Master stay the hell away from me. Have respect for your body and takes care of it. (I was cringing when I hit 230# and I am 6?5?.) I am not looking for a mouth to feed that feels being a sub or a slave means she is able to sit around the house while I work and play and chat. . I made a comment once about someone who could not cook from scratch. I can cook, clean house and iron, can you do a better job than me? Yes I like children and if that is part of the package I can respect that as well. If I offer friendship it is not a way into the back door? No I am not into this just to get in your pants; I can do that at the supermarket if I wish. I drink seldom, but I do enjoy a buzz when I do. I have low tolerance for alcoholism. You can thank My father and an ex-wife for that one. I have no tolerance for stupidly and liars eventually you get caught. I usually don?t play head games, but if I catch someone I was once told I was a cold as a female with the emotions of a man (well I am a man, so I would hope so.) Don?t take gentleness for weakness, I?m a pedigree pit bull when I wish or need to be.  And finally cute and sweet never go in the same sentence as my nick!!!!

Well enough rattling I am going to watch Rita and hope she stays south and flutters out. Live well A/all??

It?s Monday, and For God?s sake why am I at work? Résumés are out and awaiting calls, but I am sill looking for a good Commodity Firm. I wonder if Duke and Duke investments is hiring, or if after trading places do they want to do any more experiments? LOL.  Yes it?s Monday and the weekend gave a nice surprise on Sunday, even if we did not make contact, I am taking a good look at this one. Power can be a good thing when exchanged with the right person young or old. It allows the Master to set the stage for the type of submissive or slave he requires. She calls herself a submissive and in her wisdom she is ?too young to be locked in a cage.? So she has fire, and there was again a beauty there that was unseen. Once she reveled herself it was apparent. Untrained you and willing, I feel this girl may have the ability to be a diamond. If she indeed lacks drama she may be the mother lode that a Dom seeks. Known as ?The Cat? By old friends, she had my curiosity, and as she is a mystery still at this point my attention. Again though I look at the interesting possibilities with 2500 miles between us, one faces Earthquakes the Other hurricanes. If she is the one the miles will melt away, and she and I will understand if we are to be the endless circle, she the ying to my Yang. I tip my hat to you.

I think it?s time I take a moment away from the subjects of the site, and talk about something that many of us see daily. Last year I lived in a city called Port St Lucie, FL. A nice bed room community. Florida last year hosted 4 Hurricanes Port St Lucie 2. Charlie, Francis, Jeanie and Ivan were big problems hitting parts of Florida. I had friends in Port Charlotte and My area that lost homes. My house was destroyed, and a friend in Alabama also lost power and had damage with Ivan. I opened my doors to people in my area after Frances and Jeannie, but with all the damage in Florida it is nothing like Katrina.

If you are watching the news, how many people are going to be homeless and all the death. The people that could not afford to leave town are just looking for places. The ?Big Easy? is not a disaster zone. Gulf Port a bustling casino area is a looters paradise. I don?t hear too many people local talking about the victims, they are crying about gas prices. How quickly we forget last year when it doesn?t affect us. They are asking for prayers, but will that be enough? How many of you have friends in Louisiana Mississippi or that area? Do you really care? Last year we donated to the victims of the tsunami, tell me how many are going to do the same for our neighbors? It is time we put priorities first. Don?t cry about gas prices, or how unlucky you are. Think of your fellow man and that who are displaced, and lives will never be the same again. If you can?t offer money offer prayers and good hopes for those. If you can offer your home I am sure they will appreciate that. Life goes on for us who survive, so live it one day at a time and think how you can make the world better.

It is hilarious how many people do not read profiles, and when they do they disregard what is said. I am not talking about me at this point, but there are things people miss in what I say in my rants. Today I saw a new profile where a lady said she was owned by her husband, and was looking for a sister. Her words were clear, well the next time I go to read the profiles she has a journal entry stating the rudeness of some of the ?Doms, Sirs and Lords? how they just send notes and letters anyway. Tell me how can a Dominate be responsible for teaching and maintain control of a submissive if they can not control themselves? What is our first responsibility? Is it training someone else where we have no self control? I do not know who any of the responsible parties are, but I have seen it happen too many times. Dominates I want you to check yourself, take a good look inside. We set the example of what we want, so then we are an extension of that. Why do you feel you can control anyone else when you have no self control? By being so dogmatic you could be closing the door to a good friendship. I know I may not be popular among the Tops because I will say what?s on my mind,  but if I really cared I would not be me. I have understood my ability to be an owner for a long time, but there has been a negative feeling left behind by the haste people are looking to be collared, or they are not willing to open the person without expecting to be commanded in the beginning. Be my friend and don?t ask if you would be considered. I will volunteer that information if I am, or when I am ready. I do enjoy the communication and the intelligence, but to be asked in the first day or conversation it the fastest way to make me walk away. Understand responsibility goes both ways. I once read a story by a submissive called ?The Dance.? This described a building of a good D/s relationship which I know has lasted for 9 years. I am friends with both. Patience is something that both parties need to learn. This means respect others people wishes and understand some people move at different paces. I am going to get off my soap box now as I am starting to ramble nonsensical statements. To those who I am not stepping on toes I am just hoping you never run up against those personalities of which I speak.  Live Well

Last night in a short online chat with a Gentleman I know from Port St. Lucie, FL. He informed me he was getting into the lifestyle due to some lady he knows. I am not sure if it is online or real life, but I wished him the best and shared some of my research with him. I encouraged him to join collar me, and his only question was it too soon. In retrospect I think that was a bit of bad advice with some of the things that I stand on my soap box in protest. In a way I am just as guilty as many others, but I have only attempted to contact a few what I would call ?Choice submissives or slaves.?  To this point it has gotten me no where, but I really am not worried, because what I seek is eternal bliss in her quality.

Thinking about the perfect submissive for me I would have to look back when I first entered the lifestyle. I will have to look back to when I was 12 years old in Chicago. I was a freshman in high school and we had to ride the bus to and from my school. On the way to and from school there was a catholic school, now at 12 I was younger and a bit smaller than the rest of the freshmen. In time the girls from the catholic school started to tease me for my size and age as they were at least 2 years older. One afternoon I grabbed on off the bus and took her to a walk between/ under an apartment building and spanked her naked rump. She was in shock, but took what I felt was coming to her. I gave her bus fare to continue home. The next afternoon on the way home she just smiled at me and was no longer the leader of the teasing for my age and size so I took the one that took over and did the same. After this the teasing stopped and all the girls started to get friendly. Well at that age I was not interested in sexual intercourse, I was not only a ?dweeb? but a 3 sport varsity freshman. When the girls from the catholic school started asking for more I became more popular with the ?older? boys because after I spanked them I gave the older boys the opportunity to have sex. I was more interested in what I would call the power exchange where these ladies would do as I wished and did it willingly.

By the time I started college for my first degree I was 16 and my interests were still books, sports and My Frat. That?s where I kept my focus until I was 20 and in the military. This is when I collared my first slave. She was beautiful, and the one who took me well beyond my beginnings. When you have a Mother who is a Dominatrix; you are not in the dark about a lot of things. But Jody was the first lady that I ever had intercourse with after the wedding night. She was brought up to be a slave and we were a good match. 35 years ago before her 20^th birthday se was killed when I was in Viet Nam. Ironic I am in combat and she is the one that takes a bullet.

I know you can never replace what is lost because every individual is different. What you can do is look at every individual and see if there is something that is attractive to you. I know I ramble a lot, but there was a profile on in the last few days that stopped me cold. She was even from an area I swore I would never be attracted to anyone from that state. It was not a picture, and the submissive had few words at the time. Her words said a lot more than any of my babbles. I pointed this out to a friend, who is owned, and firstchair just saw the physical beauty, I pointed out what was said. Her reply was she didn?t say much. But after a bit of a chat she understood. My friend may be owned but she is intelligent and I feel she is someone I can be just in quality conversations with. So we both agreed on this lady. Needless to say there was never a response. I respect I am not what she wishes and wish her the best. I try to respond to all when I see them. But I will never chase anyone. Now I am getting off my soap box and going about my business for the day. Live well A/all till I wish to rant again.

Right now I am actually surprised at myself. I sent a note out and even though I never got a response, there was someone of interest to me from the beginning. I am not sure what was said in her profile, but it made me think. All day long I wondered, was she a 10? no 10?s are what I like. Just something that brought me to a smile. I remember my last smile for just a girl, she was my first slave/wife/ love. It was a strange feeling though I could not see her eyes, hear her voice or see her smile. There was something special about her. Understanding the net she will go to one of the ones with a line. I refuse to play the game of a net Dom that I fell is beneath what I am and what I wish to portray. I am not going to lower myself for my Piper Hallowell. I will await the right girl not to come on her knees, but walking and talking until the time comes for her to kneel and accept what I have to offer. Sometime I ask who am I but then I look in the mirror and reality strikes.

Locally there is an adult bookstore that the manager is a submissive. She and I have been friends from the beginning, she picked me out as soon as I walked in the door. She now is a member here at collar me, and comments all the time about my rants. Knowing me as she does she is waiting for me to enter with someone on my arm. Three years of us being friends she waits and just shakes her head. I was told to raise my standards, but what am I looking for? Age is not an issue, maturity is. Can you be a friend and a mate as well as a bottom? Will I smile just thinking of you? I am a stern Top with a tender side that has to be hidden well. Who are you? Are you able to be my sub/slave as well as my best friend? Can you come to me and grow with me? This is what I seek, ms perfect but not a 10. That is rare to have a slave?s heart and grow enough to show who you are.

While looking through my files I want to share this with you all. It was written years ago and I have had it through the years. This is what sets a Dom aside from others.

The Dominant

Above all else He cherishes his submissive, in the knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all. 
He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure
that comes from that precious gift.

He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that He may control others.  As a stern and demanding
Dominant, He can cause his sub to cry real tears.  As the consummate lover, He will kiss those tears away,
without ever stepping out of character.

To win his submissive's mind, body and soul, He knows He must first win her trust.  He will show his
submissive humor, kindness, and warmth.  He must also show her that his guidance and tutoring is
knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that He is a man that she can learn from, and trust His
direction.

He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous.  When called upon, He will fight for His ladies'
honor.  He proves to her that He is someone that she can lean on, and depend on.

He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet modern enough to respect his woman.  Quick to
point out the difference between them, He knows that there is no inferiority in those differences.

When it comes time to teach his submissive her lessons of obedience, he is a strong and unyielding
professor.  He will accept no flaw, nothing less than perfection from his student. Never does He use
discipline without a good reason. When He does, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.

He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern.  He knows how to use pain to extend the bounds
of pleasure.  He is a mentor who can bring her to the edge of her envelope, and gently show her the inner
courage to reach new heights.

He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs.  He is
patient, taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of him grows, so will  they.  He
never has to demand ritual behavior by her.  She responds to him out of the want of pleasing him. 
Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.  He understands the fragile nature
of mind and body, and never violates the trust given to him. He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the
absurdities of life, and also courageous enough to accept assistance.  Open minded enough to learn new
things, strong enough to grow.  His tools are mind, body, spirit and soul. with a little help from rope, paddle
and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains from pleasuring the other. and both of them know that
love is the only binding that truly holds.

Sub's Rights

You Have the Right to Demand Respect: No Dom/me may demean, abuse, harangue or hassle you in any
way.  You are a sub, but should be treated with dignity and respect at all times.

Choose:  No Dom/me may demand! your service.  It is most precious and is yours to bestow.  If you are not
giving it willingly, then you are not giving it at all, it is being taken from you.  D/s is about giving.

Safety:  No Dom/me should ever compromise your safety.  You have the right to protect yourself and to take
whatever measures are necessary to do so.

Put your real life first: No Dom/me may demand that you put aside your family, job or other real life
concerns for them.  Your first responsibility is to maintain job, home and family.

Know what is expected of you.

No Dom/me should expect you to be a mind reader.

Above all: Communicate with each other so there are no misunderstandings about anything you wish to share.

Since I?m between calls I feel it is a good time again to hop on my soap box! First of all I am busy sometimes and to send a chat request is just plain rude! Last night I chatted with a very classy slave, I had seen first chair?s profile on a couple of pages and finally complemented her on being what I would call an angel the way she presented herself, I also sent a complement to her Master. Many of you ladies possess the same qualities as she does, so please respect your choices of what you do.

 Good submissives/slaves are not willing to just jump to the commands of anyone that calls him/herself a Dom/me. They seek out what is a good pick for themselves. I tend to back off from many of you for one reason or another. Let me give you one of my biggest pet peeves. I may be black, but if you single yourself out in your nick as a sub for Blacks I tend to back off. My best friend in Florida we go out as ?Lord Salt, and Sir Pepper? Both of us are shaved headed and we met over the net and we are the best of friends. If that is not a clue of who I am then go see the next ?Brother? out there, I am not into that type of person.

 Next age is no longer a hard limit. I have talked with a good friend on line that is 18 and shows a better level of maturity than some people I know my age. One hard limit is how well you take care of yourself. In 1998 I had back surgery and I gained weight, I went over 200# for the first time in my life. I am back to the low 190?s on an average, and at 6?5? that is slender. My reasons are very personal. I lost a cousin when she was 40 because of her weight. If I am to take a 24/7 I am looking for someone who is healthy enough to recover quickly and I would not worry about a weight condition that could cost her life. As long as she has pretty eyes she could be ?butt ugly? I have gotten lost in eyes in the past. I will not deal with a lazy person or a doormat! Some people just don?t care, and I do avoid that personality. My house right now is a mess, but I just moved and am still trying to find places to put things. If your house is a mess that tells about how you are. I try to reflect a proper image of me; therefore, you must as well since it will not just be me, but U/us. I guess this is why I am alone? am I too picky, or just an ass? You tell me.

Now it is time to make my 1:00 call and as always he is not there. Life is a bitch at times. Well I guess it?s time to go back to playing ?Trading places. Just call me ?Billy Ray Valentine, as I try to help Lewis Winthrop break the Duke Brothers.

Again we start a new week, and as I sit here listening to the news, watching commodity prices change I relax by reading all the new submissive and slave?s profiles. I would be a liar to say that none of you have captured my interest, but I feel that there is not enough communication offered by some. I have had a few intriguing conversations, and most start out about the name I use.

Let me explain my handle. A few years ago I had a submissive friend who was a mother of an 8 year old. He was an avid fan of science fiction television, and was privy to a few shows I was not familiar with. One afternoon I walked in with him watching television, and he blurted out ?Tyr, Tyr Anasazi come watch TV with me mom is busy.?  I had no idea what he was talking about till his mother came in the room, it seems they had a conversation about a main character on the television show ?Andromeda? and he told his mother Tyr acted a lot like me. Due to this I adopted the name and have used it since. In ways I see what he was saying, but in others I do not.

I hold the respect of Master/mate as a concept I wish in whoever I own, so it makes me take my time when I talk to a submissive I am not looking at a short term situation for 24/7 this is why I will take my time and respect a sub or slave that peeks my attention. One that can take my mind away from the boredom of watching corn, beans and wheat (now figure that one.)  She has to be special beyond her physical appearance she has to have eyes I can get lost in. Yes I am a ?Kinky Bastard?, but I am also a man. Special is a key term, and if you can not figure that, then step on off.

Interesting day to say the least. God bless our children!!!! My daughters who are 1700 miles away are holding me hostage in the house. It is a beautiful day for the beach or just to take a walk downtown and look at what is out. But instead I am waiting to give a credit card number out for sporting equipment. I may still be unpacking, and arraigning my house, but every lady that stops by wants to take over. This makes me think of Two Live Crew?s song ?My House.? if I wanted a woman to arrange my house I?d marry her! No one stays not even over night, and no one goes upstairs, so why do they think they are allowed to have a say. I keep a ?Jack Russell single tail in my living room and some even get the hint, but still they wish to want to take over. I guess I am enjoying being a bachelor too much to worry about vanilla and wanna bes?.

I know that only 4 people from here have my yahoo name and they understand how much I chat lately. It seems that my life has become so complicated that if you can?t grab my interest and keep it fast then I am just going to walk away and be me. There are a few submissives I have chatted with here that don?t understand how I can me a Dominate and not an ?owner.? People its choice! There are a few things that turn me off; I tend to lean towards Caucasian ladies, and less aggressive submissives. I tend to ignore the ones that start off with ?Master? or ?I want you to own me?, These two statements are quick stop signs. Right now as I read profiles there are a few that I will give direct comments or complements to, as these people are showing ?class? in the way they present themselves to the world. When I receive a note I reply and the next thing I do is look at the profile.

Now this is going to make a few of you laugh, I am a ?Cat? so I am very curious, I want to know who I reply to looks like. If you were to look at the show ?Charmed? I would be attracted to Piper. The ones that are not the ?perfect 10?, but the type that is the girl next door look is a turn on. Tats are cool if done in good taste (that does not mean a woman can?t be a canvas.) One of the most attractive ladies I ever talked to looked like a walking fantasy art painting. People don?t realize that some of us are more impressed with a submissive/slave who is dressed. The true attraction begins between the ears. I have gone through my physical stage, but here is a hint of what I look at first. The window to the soul is what? Know that you know me.

Now as I sop ranting on this Saturday afternoon, ask yourself. Is he crazy, or just a ?Mad Dominate.?

It?s a Tuesday afternoon, and as I sit alone stressed I contraplate what is to be tomorrow. Another day at the office, and dealing with something I have put off. It is not so big I can?t deal with it, but something I feel too lazy to do anything about. Sometimes it feels good to just say screw it.

Now I wonder why I am sitting alone. I know it?s my choice to. I have the opportunity to go to the ocean or a club, but I chose my solitude to just enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. Some of your comments about my ramblings are welcome, but at this point I can afford to be very picky if I am even intersted in picking. I am not looking for a play partner; I could go to a number of clubs and get that local. If I am to get into a D/s relationship, I expect a lot more than that. I may be 54 and in my opinion I look my age, but I have been able to keep up with those mostly younger than I.

I have a friend in Jersey she has been after my collar for 2 years, but is afraid to go to a level of communication beyond typing. How can I accept a submissive in my home that is either too shy to speak on the phone after that period of time? I was a ?chataholic? back in 1996, but I have grown weary of that since I have seen the dramas unfold, and many cases of Jerry Springer on line. I personally refuse to allow myself to be caught up in those games, even though there have been a few attempts. I have seen the posers, men and women attempting to be the opposite sex. It is too bad I am not doing a Thesis at this point in my life it would be an interesting investigation of different personality disorders in internet chat rooms.

The other day I went to a server where I have old friends and a few of the Doms spoke and made open statements in the channel about me, all positive from days gone by. One I actually brought into the D/s lifestyle and taught him, but after talking with my old friends (including a few submissives whom I have known for years.) I received 15 IMs most asking how to earn my collar. I found that to be rude and distracting since I only go to those types of chat rooms to see friends, and see what people are typing. I found that to be the same as when I get a mail here calling me Master and wanting to come to me now. I guess a lot of people just don?t read profiles. I am no one?s Master since I have offered no collars. I do have an interest, but I am not the type of person to chase too hard. I am not a collector, so the lady that gets me if she is bi yes she can have a sister, but to me that is NOT a priority. What is important is my submissive is my friend and mate as well as motivator. I will admit I bore easy, so if you can?t get me interested early I do have a tendency of just floating off and chilling on my own. I would say this has been the lowest key babble session I have had to this point. I think I will go and relax before I get on my soap box.  (Why can I write my thoughts and hate doing e-mails?)

         This evening as I took a brake from packing I stopped in to read a few new comers profiles. As I scanned and hit the home button I saw a very interesting, not really depressing but an honest opinion of some of the ?so called? Tops. I was so taken I made a first statement to this lady from my state. I usually speak of ?speed collaring?, but not to this point of ?Velcro?. This is an area I avoid one where many tops disrespect submissive and slaves because they feel it is their right. I have been in this lifestyle since almost birth, and I have only seen in the days where the plantation owners abused their so called property such a mind set in some. Many will tell you their submission is a gift, or something they have felt for a long time. This is their choice which does not obligate, so We should expect them to wish to be treated as they owe you something. In any relationship communication is important, but here We must be more understanding to the needs of those whom we seek.

           When You take a submissive / slave you take on a major responsibility where trust is something that has to be built on both ends. You are the protector and yes she/he has the power to take back what was given. If you initially approach in a manner that lacks respect, you will never gain that respect. Remember slaves and submissive are people as well. Know who you are, so you can understand their needs and what they seek. The circle will never be complete if one half is there and the other is only half there.

8/21/2004 9:30am


I guess I can start a journal today. After being on a week, I have recived a few responces. I am not completely ruleing out any possibilities; however, I have come across at least 2 people who have earned my utmost respect as people. They have shown me the possibility of making a friend with no preessure.


Last night I did go in a chatroom, and I was approached. I tried to be nice, and was straght saying My life currently has other goals. I am wondering why some people do not understand that I am not brushing them off, but to be a good Master I have to have control of my own life. This year has been riddled with a number of set backs, from work, a pushy sub, and hurricanes. I am focused on My personal goals. Yes there is one who has gotten my attention, but My feelings are I am no good to her now till I am good for myself.