TransformaDomme

As far as plans go, I have some very well thought out ideas, but, plans cannot be finalized until I find persons who wish to serve in this way. It has to be persons, not just one, as I am talking about a fairly extensive amount of money, to begin with. At the bare minimum, I need $250 per week, for bills, supplements, gym membership, special foods, etc.  That doesn't include makeup, furnishings, jewelry, hair cuts, or anything else too fancy, either. When I have enough persons interested to make a proper start, I shall finalize my plans and begin.

And, yes, I am seeking out local and alternative solutions to some of the costs!

Be aware that since I am only doing this online, I am not going to give you my home address or telephone number. I will meet no one,  offline, until there are significant improvements in my life. That is my discipline for me and possibly an incentive for you; since, once there are significant improvements, I will definitely consider allowing visitors to said lovely dungeon or taking trips for play dates.

My ID is a play on words, of a type. Recently went to see the latest Transformers movie, and, it reminded me of what we used to call "Transformadom", which was the act of creating the more tangible, visible qualities to suit the personality of the individual dominants, thereby expressing outside of them, what was manifest inside. Why? Because, most dominant people, the psychologically dominant ones, just look like regular people until they are called into action, so to speak, so, most psychologically submissive people, or even just the quasi-submissive, don't recognize them when they see them, as they are looking for the outward signs. 

The truth is, most dominant women you see, for instance, are going to be wearing little to no makeup, walking around with their legs unshaved, wearing comfortable clothes. This is because they, not being submissive, have very little urge to impress you. However, most people, for whatever reason, take this sort of behavior as being weak, lacking confidence. So, in general, the act of committing Transformadomme is about finding a balance between what the submissive is looking for and the comfort that the dominant would prefer to dwell in. It is, also, though, about creating the correct atmosphere in one's home or other place of play. In other words, anything that takes the person they are, and, transforms them in the eyes of others into a representation of the potential danger and control that is in them. Much like the Transformers going from unassuming automobile to giant, scary, kill-capable robot.

That's fairly well where I am, in life. I've had much experience owning slaves, in the past, and, I served as a slave for more than one person before that. I know how to dominate/manage people most effectively; but, I've had some health issues over a long period of time, and, I couldn't take care of them due to a lack of money - which was mostly wrapped up in custody battles with my ex, paying child support (even when I was the one taking care of the kids), constantly having o buy the kids more clothes because he'd burn them when they got back to his place, etc. The extreme stress of dealing with him, for over 20 years, also took it's toll.

Well, they are finally all grown up and our eldest son, who is learning disabled, has finally escaped from his father's home and into the care of a foster family in that state, and, I no longer have to tell him where I live, or deal with his petty games or violence.

No, not everything bad that happened in my life was a direct result of him, but, far more of it than most of you would believe was. Certainly more than I could ever tell our children. There were, also, however, several break-ins, over the years, including at least six since June, when I moved into this house. That's what comes from living in bad neighborhoods and not being able to afford security systems, good locks, a guard dog, or, having other people who can be home. The upshot is, I had to keep replacing things, which makes it impossible to get other things. In the meantime, I have ended up in Arizona, where some of the worst unemployment rates in the country are going on, and, they seem to be getting worse every year. Yes, they say they are getting better, because, they count the number of people who are not receiving unemployment dropping as an improvement. Yet, I know a lot of people who don't receive unemployment, simply because it ran out, after numerous extensions. So ... 

Now, I get to survey the wreckage, and, consider what is best to be done. Now, I can own slaves again, without fear of him finding out and trying to use that in a court of law to keep me from seeing our children. However, now I am overweight, tired, poor, badly in need of essentials much less fancy clothes and equipment, so, now I could own slaves, but, what slave will have me?

I have tried to sell my services in helping those without experience learn basic protocol, helping them gain some control over their destructive habits, learn how to follow a schedule, etc. and have had very minor success. I've tried offering BDSM sessions for pay, and, have had no success, as everyone takes that as code for a whore with a whip. I've tried just getting to know someone on the basis of friendship and going from there, but, no one wants to know you, if you don't have the whip already in hand and you aren't ready to put on the leather and impress them, it seems. 

I have even tried, several times, in several ways, including now, to just tell people the truth, in the hopes of attracting the sort who would like to be a part of the solution. I actually started looking, though, a wee while before the children would be fully grown, all; knowing, as I do, that it can take time to find the right person. In all this time, I have found many, many users, quite a few judgmental people, and, about four people who have some desire to actually serve as their primary goal. Does that mean there aren't others out there. Probably no. I am often contacted by people who stop by to tell me they would never serve me, even though I sound wonderful and like I know what I'm doing, because I don't look the part. They think I look incapable of controlling others, as I am incapable of controlling myself.

I can't fault them for that, in a way. Except, I do wonder about people who can read the newspaper and not understand that sometimes life just jumps on you and mangles your arse, and, it doesn't matter, then, what sex, age, orientation, etc. you are, you are just going to get frigged up and the recovery process is hard. 

Maybe I understand more because I read more. I know a lot of history is filled with tales of men of former glory, sitting idle on their throne, getting fatter and greyer, and being challenged by young whelps, who can only see what is before their eyes - a fat old man - and openly laugh at what passes for a hero. Until they go to far and the fat old man takes out his sword and hands them their arse. Shite happens. Life happens. It's really not what you look like, as far as how your hair is cut, that really counts most. Well, not if you're poor, or, you are working the sort of job that requires a certain sedate (read: boring) hair cut, for instance. It is about who you are, inside, what your potential is, and, what it would take to bring it out in a living together situation or in a session.

My potential is wonderful. What's your potential for seeing it?

Totally changed my profile, and, while changing it, realized that my interests have gotten skewed As in, the things on my interest lists did not reflect my true nature, so, I altered those as well.

Yes, I am still interested in the possibility of someone who is willing to trade session work (non-sexual) for cash or goods, for the sake o while we both have fun; or, who is looking for a bit of a life coach, bdsm style, for the same reasons. Keep in mind, boys, that soldiers do not learn the fine art of soldiery from the strapping young men and women who are as young and inexperienced as them, no matter how tough the little darlings look. They learn it from the old men and women, whatever shape or amount of wrinkle has become a part of them, who have been in the trenches and know how to survive! 

So, if you'd like to make arrangements for a weekly or monthly donation to the cause, or to buy certain items, toward my health improvement, the improvement of my home, the building of my dungeon, etc. I would be quite glad to accept them; and, yes, I do call them donations, not tribute. You wouldn't be doing it because of how great I am, or because I am making you promises of anything. You'd be doing it because I am telling you there is a need and you feel kind enough to fulfill it, or, you are curious to see the transformation, or, maybe you see some potential and hope to get to know me and serve me more fully over time.

Just because I am well rounded (in all sorts of ways), it doesn't mean I'm a pizza. So, stop trying to order me like one! 
I am not the domme you can approach with "I need some degradation, two holes filled with pepperoni, and, extra toilet training" 

I've told you what I'm looking for. Be into it or be gone. 

It's not that I'm against romantic relationships, boys: it's that what I would want out of one is vastly different than what I'd want from playing with subs or owning slaves.

To the "man" who started a conversation with an insult and ended it with blocking me after an insincere apology followed by more judgmental platitudes, here's the message you did not receive, because you are too scared of real women to stick around and take your dressing down:

See. Like I said, you were just looking for more ammunition by which to pass judgment on me. And, inadvertently, on poor and uneducated persons at large. Maybe, dare you dream, I happen to be an excessively educated woman who grew up in a rich household. Maybe I even made my maid feel bad and then tried to go apologize in some insincere manner, just like you.

OR maybe I was the maid. 

JERK!

To the rest of you: If you have nothing better to do than pass judgment on strangers, on a site dedicated to alternative lifestyles, for not being your cup of tea, when they are not even trying to get to know you, to the point of needing to message them with insults . . well, think about that fact. You need help! 

As Mr. Ferguson recently said (in a stand up routine I watched the other day), there are three questions you should ask yourself:

1. Does this need to be said?
2. Does this need to be said by me?
3. Does it need to be said by me, now?