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I am back from my involuntary break and I can only say that my feelings hit me full force.
I feel like a two legged slut, cocks, cum, balls, sucking cock, being taken forcefully is almost 24/7 on my mind. Yes, even in my dreams, they get more vivid, more real and I wake up as if I had a long sex session.
It must be my mind telling my body that I should move forward, enjoy it again, seek and find that much needed experience.
I almost forgot what it was to feel so obsessed with the male body part, to crave seeing it, tasting it, licking it, sucking it. Oh gosh need I go on.
Busy week ahead of me I hope I can keep my thoughts of it long enough not to make a faux-pas. We'll see. |
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I have these moments that I am so excited and I know I only have to squeeze my legs together to get off. This can be good or bad depending or where I am.
Right now I am at home and gosh I would love a nice sound spanking right now. |
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Some of the messages I get are downright pathetic. Just because you consider yourself Dom (now) does not mean that I have to converse with you. And if I kindly decline that does not make me less submissive. No need for name calling or nastiness. Take it like man and move on.
And I have to get something else of my chest, if your profile has no recent picture, we exchanged two messages with a maximum of 8 words. That does not make you my friend nor will I travel <200 miles to be used by you.
Spring/Summer is finally coming, it makes me so happy to see all the flowering trees, perennials. Now I can wear my skirts without being hidden by a warm coat. The fun time has begun again.
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Please be kind, if I do not respond to you immediately it is because I am busy being the perfect host. I sometimes take a quick peek and love what I read and will get back to each and every one of you.
Merry Christmas, I hope my wish of sitting on Santa's lap and later between his knees after a solid spanking will come true. May your wish........whatever that may be come true as well.
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I wonder if there are Santa's for adults, one who allows me to sit on his lap and whispers naughty thoughts in my ear. One who will take me over his lap and spank me for all my mistakes. And than gives me a mouth full of present.
Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight! |
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It is amazing how disrespectful some, so called Masters, are on this website. It is a tremendous turn off.
If it was not for the few good friends I made on here over the years I would have left a long time ago.
The worst are the ones who still have not found the spelling check on here, write everything in capitals or use no capitals at all.
Stupid women can be cute for one day, stupid men are NEVER attractive. |
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Today I was scrubbing the bathroom floor on my knees and my mind was wondering.
Would it not be fun to be dressed in a French maid uniform and clean rooms at a strangers house while he ogles me. The best part would be being paid at the end of the cleaning so I can go and spend it on some nice clothes.
Dreams..... |
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Finally things are slowing down and I can pick up my own schedule. But strangely enough I have a hard time doing that.
I think I need to get a good spanking to get back on track again. Hmm the thought does not make me move faster it only makes me wet and dreamy. If only............
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Oh gosh, I woke up at 5.30 AM this morning with extremely hard nipples, so hard that they hurt. I wish I could remember what I dreamed about, it must have been a nice naughty wet dream. Yes wet, my pussy was wet as well. |
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'IT' did not change but I found my balance again. I can smile and enjoy life. I am also more optimistic that I will get/find what I desperately need.
My slavery/submissiveness is a constant it cannot be turned off when I leave the bedroom nor can I turn it up when going to a basement. LOL Well I guess you know what I mean.
The weather is changing it is getting colder and oddly enough I am happy with that now I can wear my stockings again. A bit early but I am looking forward to Christmas, I love the candles, light and having friends and family close.
If only my batteries would last longer! |
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Things are not always like they seem to be, or should be. I feel very unbalanced, sick. I can hardly breath or eat. I beg, I scream, I cry, I ask, I argue, I await, months have gone by and I know, I know with a great surety that I need it like oxygen.
What I am supposed to do now? How long do I wait? How often do I ask? How often do I beg? How often do I argue about it? I do not know the answer to that, but I do know that I feel not sane, not safe without. That I reached the end of what I am capable of doing, what I am capable of waiting.
Please God forgive me, I am only human, I am only a slave. I can't .....I tried but I can't. Help me! Help me please! |
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There are times, like now that I feel this intense longing to be with Master. To kneel at his feet and feel his hand on my head, knowing that he appreciates me as his pet.
Of course I am also horny. LOL.
My pussy is constantly wet so it is very inconvenient to wear panties. Feeling the warm air brush against my pussy makes me feel hot, I am in a constant state of arousal which is tiresome in itself. Now I can't walk around without looking at men's crotches before looking at their eyes. I love to see a nice bulge so I can fantasize about sucking that wonderful cock. Although a nice wet pussy is attractive as well. |
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I was out of state over the weekend and it was hot. When I think about it I find my hand creeping to my pussy to masturbate on the memories.
Being used by seven men from age 22 to 57 and none of them were Master. Was great. My pussy, jaws and ass are still sore from the use it had.
What I miss are pictures, I am just very visual.
I am glad Master is happy with the way I serviced all of them. |
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I wonder do pussy lips get puffier when you masturbate a lot? I can feel my clit against my panties, as if a finger strokes it time and time again. |
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I love it when I feel my panties cling to my wet pussy, getting drawn to the wetness, the hornyness, I am ready,so ready to serve. And I love my horny smell, |
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I need batteries that last longer, I had to stop in the middle of a huge..... |
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I am so horny that my nipples hurt, I need very good and hard use. |
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I find it utterly disgusting when supposedly 'switches' ask me a slave, a submissive to tie them down, or whip them. What is wrong with these people. Why not openly admit to being submissive, why try to persuade a submissive to do something unnatural. Something out of character.
It seems that, particularly, men have a trouble with being honest, even to themselves.
So I say it again, do not contact me if you are a slave, submissive or switch with the intent of making me 'act' dominant.
I wish you all a wonderful, sexy day. |
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It's Friday and I am looking forward to the weekend. I keep thinking about Master and can't wait for him to get home, and my pussy seems to have the same thoughts. It is dripping wet and tastes so good. A nice night at home, a video and lot's of TLC. Yes, Thank God It Is Friday. |
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Last night I degraded myself without being asked or pushed to do so, just to give Master that ultimate pleasure. To hear his satisfaction and knowing that my filthy degrading actions pleased him was such a mind thrill. Yes, it gave him satisfaction and it made me feel so good. At peace with my position, my actions, my being. I woke up and it was the first thing I thougt about.......giving me an instant wet pussy. Hmmmm |
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GOOOOOOD MORNING AMERICA!
Back on track, the sun is shining and I feel fabulous and horny. Master took some pictures over the weekend and would like to know how you feel about it. I am not so enchanted with them and see only my faults. Guess I need to work out longer to meet my approval.
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Day dreams.
There are these moments that your body and soul are in complete tune. They feel the same and it even drives the feeling up. Like right now. I feel very happy, calm. almost serene, well as far as being completely and utterly horny can be called serene. My heart beats a little bit faster than normal. Even my fingertips are sensitive. And I longed to have those hard pointy nipples, well I got them now. When I sip my coffee I think about tasting cum. |
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I am so horny the only thing I can think about is drinking gallons and gallons of warm cum. I can feel the wetness between my legs and it is that I have to do some house chores otherwise I would be in bed or on the couch masturbating myself silly. |
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I love that afterglow feeling, that is still there the next day. My overly sensitive nipples, the hand around my throat, my warmed up ass. it is not only physical also mentally I feel that afterglow. The feeling of having my submissiveness taken from me at full force, given willingly. Like a wanton slut. I love this life. I love Master. |
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I woke up this morning feeling not only at peace but also had this very sensual feeling. That feeling when your fingertips touch your skin you feel the heat. We went to our normal morning pandemonium, getting dressed and out the door to school or work. But I should have asked Master to stay home with me, I want to cuddle on his lap and beg, beg for a spanking. Maybe he will not be tired enough tonight to give me one. |
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Longing. A longing so deep that it hurts inside. A longing that makes my nipples hurt and my pussy open and close in search of that rod, that cock that gives me pleasure and peace. Masters cock. Drooling when I think about licking his cock head, sucking him softly in my mouth. It is beyond horny and intimate. Master I need you. |
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Growing pains. I am still growing as a submissive and it seems so easy to put the wishes of another person before our own, in fact you do that as a mother constantly and probably as a wife as well. It is more the next step that is sometimes hard. To not think about your own wishes, to not voice them, to have no desires of our own, unless they are triggered by the wish of our Master. That to me is the hard part. I at times struggle with it, I am an intelligent woman, I can think for myself and make good decisions. To step back and wait, to step back and let go of my needs, desires, longing that is hard. I can say I succeed 95% of the time but those last percentages are the hardest. I did grow I take more pleasure in small things, like the sound of birds waking me in the morning, the snoring sounds of Master next to me in bed, the warm body of my child when he wakes up in search of warm hug and a kiss. Not so long ago it would have been more materialistic things and let's not forget work that would make me feel whole. |
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I have these dreams about sucking cock, and being covered in cum. Seeing it squirt from may different cocks, and they cum amd cum and cum. White cocks, black cocks and anything in between and i keep thanking them. Thanking them for giving me that ultimate gift. No talking, when i open my mouth it is to suck cum, or drink it straight from the tap. Wow, will dreams ever come true?? |
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I am back in Europe again and have a very tight schedule until July 15. Feel a bit lost, I do miss Master but I also notice that I can not survive here being as submissive as I would like to be. I am supposed to lead departments and that takes a certain mindset. I long for things that are beyond my reach, beyond my touch. It is starting to become unreal like a fantasy not meant to be real just a wish. But we all know not all wishes come true. |
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Master and I had a very good conversation and he took most of my worries away. He is such a splendid partner. And at the end when he patted my head I felt like a little girl, a treasured pet who pleased her Master. That conversation has made such a tremendous change in me, I connected with myself again, with my being and I am so much happier. The sun shines behind the clouds and when it comes out it will warm us both. I met a couple of very nice Dominant men on this site who are still searching for a good submissive. I always thought it was harder to find a good Dom than a submissive but I must have been wrong. It only shows that when you find what you seek you should hold on to it. |
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I can't sit still. I am extremely horny. My pussy is leaking, my clit is hard. When I did put my panties on the lace touching my clit almost made me come. The rubbing of the fabric makes me even more hornier. I just called with Master and he said call me back and I will make you come. But I need it now, NOW absolutely now. I feel I could service 100 cocks and still long for his. I could drink cum from a 100 cocks and still long for his taste. I need it ........bad.
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Yesterday I made un unbelievable big step into submission. I degraded myself for Master in a way I never thought I was able to do. And it was hard there was even a time that I thought I could not do it but now that I have I feel so good, so big in my smallness, so happy in my submission. I thank Master for taking me there and leading me all the way. Like I said before there is so much to learn and to achieve and every step brings me closer to him, closer to being what he wants me to be and what I need to be in order to feel happy.
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Vibes, this morning I woke up and felt an immediate loss, Master had already gone to work. I did my ussual thing work, house chores and prepare a meal and suddenly I felt it stronger a longing for him, to hear his voice and smell him. He came home earlier than expected and my heart jumped and so did my pussy leaking with anticipation. The longing can be so strong like when you put on your stockings and by accident you touch your pussy you almost jump. It's like electricity. When putting lotion on your breasts you feel your nipples harden and find it hard to resist squeezing them. When you apply lipgloss and the only thing you think about is sucking a nice hard cock. Everything reminds you of bodyparts. Even the morning oatmeal tastes like cum. Oversexed I don't believe I am but once I want it, need it, long for Master it is overpowering. I could beg for him to take me, but I am lucky he has the same needs and knows how to fulfill mine. Or better said his wishes are my requests. Our needs overlap, yin and yang. Master and slave. Now I am off to cook that lovely meal i made preparations for. After all in Holland they say 'de liefde van de man gaat door de maag'.
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Last weekend I received a spanking from Master I will remember for a very long time. It was not one to get off on, not a titillating one. I got it right before we left to visit family. My ass was beet read when he stopped and I was not allowed to massage the pain away. It stung the whole ride and during my stay there, even on the way back several hours later I could still feel it. It was not only a physical thing mentally it felt as if my boundaries which hold my submissiveness down were broken. It overwhelmed me and I was unable to keep it down. Like a beast unleashed. Every-time I think back on it I feel myself get aroused, not so much the arousal from pain, but pain getting/being lust. I work out and worked today but my mind is on Master, his voice, his touch and the spanking. Can't wait for him to get home and make his tea, bring his slippers and hear his stories. Being a slave and serving is so much more than a sexual servitude. But there is no denying that I love the sexual servitude. |
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Yesterday was an wonderful day. Master took me to the stars and back. Losing all control and completely forgetting where you are is such a great feeling. Submitting at such a deep level and feeling this intense sense of belonging. I am the luckiest girl in the world. I woke up this morning and feel in peace, soft as if nothing from the outside world can touch me. Back to work but I am sure my feelings will stay the same. |
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This is part of a message I wrote to Master and would like to share with all of you.
QUOTE
Within our relationship, the term ‘whore’ is used, usually chosen deliberately by you my owner because that word brings something out in me, (along with a few other choice vulgarities that I won’t mention here). It allows me the change to revel in the knowledge that I am your whore, that I find pleasures in the darkest of lustful hungers, and that I feel most natural and free with my sexuality without the chains that society forces me to wear in order to meet its moral standards. But it’s not the only aspect of my slavery, or the only word that you select to bring out that facet of my personality.
You share my whore side with a wide variety of people. I also do not believe that being a ‘whore’ necessarily means being poorly dressed, or ill mannered. Every person will have their own idea of how to express themselves, but in my case, I enjoy being able to dress in a way that is sensual and provocative but not offensive to the eye. I chose my clothes and select them to flatter and reveal my body, to entice and express my sexuality without being three sizes too small. I ‘whore’ can behave with poise and class in appropriate venues, knowing that my lust and sexuality is simmering under the surface. I know that any moment, I may be pulled aside into an empty room at a dinner party, and have that ladylike façade stripped away.
UNQUOTE |
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Well I did get my spanking although not from Master.
I sit here on the backdeck in the sun and I feel very horny wish Master was here so I could suck on his cock. The thought alone is enough to make me dripping wet and I still have hours to go before he comes back.
This is what drives me crazy being horny, masturbating and still not have that satisfied feeling when I am with Master. Maybe I will call him I know hearing his voice will be enough to make me cum. This need for his presence or approval is getting bigger.. Almost as if I can have no joy without that.
And talking about joy my dream last night wasn't as hot. |
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I always thought that pain was related to punishment. And according to Master I seldom have to be punished. Yes, I am a good girl.
But why do I feel that I would like to get a spanking, in fact I long to be spanked - hard. I would like to feel the pain when Master is gone and I sit alone behind my desk and work. A secret under my clothes, something between Master and I.
I wonder if I can ask for it? Or would that be out of line and is it what I really want? I don't know I never had this feeling before and never this strong.
I ponder..........and wait. |
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Funny thing self-perception. Sometimes you see yourself different than others do, and at times people point that out to you.
Not always nice but surely an eye-opener. It gives you all sorts of opportunities, should I change, or stay the same. Is it me or just them? And what are the consequences of being seen different.
There is this distinct fine line between indulging in your submissiveness and lust and being downright vulgar. I feel I am above that but than again.........maybe not.
A lot of things have been going through my mind lately and I feel that this site is no longer beneficial to my growth as submissive, as slave and maybe I should move on. And that leaves me with another open end.......where to go to. Any suggestions? |
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When the relationship is good you fall into a comfort zone which is nice, warm and safe. And very pleasant.
And than I look in Masters eyes and am lost, floating on feelings so deep and he again brings me to places that are new, exciting and touch that special part in my soul which makes me forget about the rest of the world.
What I also like is that even in company we seem to be insinc and find ways to excite each other.
This lucky girl is going to do her exercises and hopefully another great, sunny day. |
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I had my first experience with multiple squirting while pleasing Master. It was an experience I never had before and one I will never forget.
Master has given me a lot of new experiences and this is just another to add to the list of many.
The sight was magnificent and the feeling......can't compare it to anything I had before.
I am the luckiest girl, wife, slave, whore and slut of the world.
Can't wait for the next time or is that greedy? |
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Hmmm.  Master has this special gift of planting ideas in my mind and than leave it there.
Making my thoughts go round and round and my fantasies getting into sexual overgear.
So here I am sitting prim and proper with a mind filled of nasty fantasies that would make a whore blush.
I am thinking about setting up my own blog so I can share all of these thoughts, it would give me something to do in the evenings instead of playing with myself until Master comes home. |
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Yesterday I went from one serious meeting to another and they were heavy. And in all those meetings you have moments that are like a dance you heard it before but have to sit it out to let the other person talk.
On those moments my mind wonders off and of course Master absorbs me than. I think about the things he makes me do, the ways he make me serve him. The way he makes me service others.
And immediately I felt those hot flashes running through me and I opened my legs under the table almost feeling the wetness run out of my pussy. I thought these people would be highly surprised if they knew what a slut I am.
Driving back home I only thought about Master using me but........he was not home, so I feel a bit frustrated. I tried to masturbate which only made me more horny but I can not come without Master's consent.
So now I am grumpy, have sensitive painful nipples and can't wait for Master to get back home.
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This morning I woke up with Master touching my cheek lightly and when I opened my eyes our eyes locked. The feeling that went through me was enormous, love, submissiveness and surrender all in one.
I just read a blog with the topic 'can you be to submissive' and I can say that I can not relate to that.
I am who I am and that can never be to submissive, Master accepts my submissives and has the capability to bring me to deeper levels of submissiveness or slavery. I am like putty in his hands and love every moment of it.
His love, care, guidance will lead me through life and I feel very safe within those boundaries. Safe and free, free to be ME. |
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Sore but from having that wonderful pounding in my ass yesterday. And sore nipples from being aroused tremendously.
Master has left me alone for today but not before he enticed me with his body and mind. His concern about my safety is a great thrill and mix that with the great mind and body and you can picture me panting on the couch waiting for his return.
I have not made up my mind yet shall I be waiting at the door with the leash on, panting like a puppet in love or .....be in bed with my legs spread wide and play with the two vibrators he has left me with.
Decissions to make.....I so much depend on him that it is getting difficult to make up my own mind. The only thing that goes through my mind is what will please him, what would he like me to do? |
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 I am extremely happy and pleasantly surprised. My Master has established something I thought not possible or better I never thought about it.
He made it possible for me to merge my elegance with my sluttiness. To be that lady and when asked to turn into a whore instantly. I connected with my feminine side in such a natural way.
It felt like finally coming home, finally being who I was meant to be when I was born.
I am not a made submissive it is in my nature and now found a place in my heart, in my soul and foremost in the relation with my Master/husband. |
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