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Submissive Couple, 35, Las Vegas, Nevada
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Male Dominant, 53
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Female Submissive, 48
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About thorndale
Service
Service is something that is inspired. It is something that brings me great joy. Seeing my help improve someone's life significantly draws a giant smile to my face and brightens my soul. I want to improve the lives of those around me, of those who have meaning to me and of those I may not have meet before. The types of service I try to focus on are things that will have the most impact. I have a history of volunteering in not for profit organizations that represent causes for which I believe in and am now to try helping out here and there as time allows.
There are many factors that can create that happy feeling inside when it relates to service. I would like to say it is simple but it is actually fairly complex. It is largely related to the impact I can have on someone's life. The impact is notable larger if the service provided is a need vs. a want. Other things that have an impact is how that extra time they gain is used. If it is used in a positive way it will inspire me greatly. If that extra time is being used to play with other partners, sit to watch TV, or other ... then the service that is being provided is now being used to reward negative qualities such as laziness, neglect and other negative characteristics. Another factor that might affect how I perceive the value of the service being provide relates to time. If the required or desired service is so time consuming my own wellbeing is neglected then the service becomes harmful both to me and to the person I serve. There needs to be a good work, play, and life balance in my life.
Service is something that should never be expected. It should be cherished and celebrated. The impact that service can have on someone's life can be immeasurable.
One further comment is that a submissive or slave does not need a Master, owner or partner to provide service. There are opportunities to serve everywhere one looks. I find that sometimes people have troubles understanding this from both sides of the coin but then I am unusual and often do not fit the "normal". From a dominant point of view the question(s) I might ask is why do you want someone to serve you? Why should someone want to serve you? If the service is a want and not a need then in addition, how are you going to keep the value of service high in the eyes of the one providing service as there are opportunities all around to provide service.
Scene Dynamics
Being in the Moment
What makes a scene hot or not is often related to the people involved in the scene "being in the moment". When I say this I mean for them to be focusing on the experience of the moment and not to be thinking about other things unrelated to that scene. There are a lot of things that can be factored into not "being in the moment". External examples can range from stress related to work, a family death or illness, to the rotten tuna salad sandwich I ate 2 hours ago. There are many, many possibilities here. There are also internal examples that might cause a person to fall out of being in the moment or prevent them from being in the moment. These things can range from a distracting sound, scent, destruction of a trust to a pause or interruption in the scene (for example to talk with other people or to leave the scene for other objectives that are not related to the scene that was unfolding)
What do I need in a scene?
- I need that other person to be aware of the external thing that might be a and that it might take me a bit of time to get into the moment if there are other stresses going on in my life. I also need the other person to be there with me. I am aware that there are things that can cause them to be out of the moment and I will do my best to help them to be in the moment.
- I need them to be aware of my hard limits or willing to take care of the after effects that result. When you are pushing a hard limit one of the risks is the destruction of trust.
- I need them to be aware of my desire to remain STD free.
- I need them to understand that a more extreme scene does not mean it is a better scene. For me it's about the mind. Stimulate the mind please!
- I need them to understand that I do have physical challenges that might impact how a scene unfolds.
- I am a discrete person. For professional and personal reasons I do not wish to push various aspects of the lifestyle out there to friends, colleagues, and or family.
- Aftercare. While usually not necessary, it does help make a stronger connection for me. I do very much enjoy cuddling. Please take the time as it will strengthen trust and in general a connection with you.
- I need my partner to be interested in my wellbeing (emotional and physical) long term and short term.
- It is important to me for my partner to make the effort to check up on me a day or few days after a scene to make sure I am doing well. For the most part to me it shows an interest in my well being.
- I am a unique individual and do not react how others do. Sometimes I do not always heal like others do so comparing me to that other person who had worse marks or the such might not be a good comparison to go by.
- I want to surrender in a scene. I want to be with someone that can create an environment where I feel comfortable and safe to submit to.
Hard Limits
- Financial. This is sort of a hard limit. While I believe if I found the right person I would be comfortable on this level but not till after a few years of being in a strong relationship. I would also need to know that my financial wellbeing would be taken care of should they suddenly passed away.
- I desire to remain STD free.
- Limiting access to family and close friends. Yes I am aware that this specific point does not fit a D/s relationship but it reads true to who I am and what I value.
- Permanent Marks. The marks would need to have meaning. I would have to have been in a long term relationship for many years before I would consider the possibility.
Things that are important to me
- I value my family and friends. My views here on this topic are not of a D/s nature. Having my access to these people controlled, limited, or removed can be terribly harmful to my wellbeing. Also an additional note here is that I do in fact have a few dominant friends. A few of them I consider important to me and have proven their friendship time over and over. To no longer be able to interact with them from my point of view is to be a horrible friend. Something negative and from a personal point of view I want to exhibit as many positive traits in a person as I can. Friendships and family I cherish and I strive to do my best towards them. I want to see that they are doing well and are happy.
- I value the impact my service can have on a person(s) life and strive to have as much of an impact as I can. I am drawn to situations that have a substantial impact. Providing service that encourages negative traits such as laziness is undesirable and if in this sort of situation I will likely seek out other situations where my service will have a more significant impact.
- Personal growth is important. Living a life of status quo is not enough. I need to peruse self-improvement projects.
- From a few D/s relationships I have gained valuable experience. They have taught me to scream, to release energy, to send queues as to how I am feeling, self-value, as well as other characteristics, qualities, and skills.
- Music. I love many types of music. It touches my soul and can take me from a state of negative energy to a very positive place emotionally.
- Theatre. I enjoy plays. I admit a leaning towards comedy but also do enjoy drama as well as musicals.
- Food. I love food. Flavour and taste can dazzle the senses.
Inspiration
- My parents. Putting up with me for years earns my admiration and provides me great inspiration and aspiration to try to reach the strong character traits they have. One really does not realize what they have when they are that young. The skills they crafted in me. The personality they developed in me... Not many would have gone the distance they did, have and still do.
- A friend of the family I knew as a child. I remember for years while he lived in my home town the level of support he gave. He was always there on many renovation projects. The kindness he extended is admirable and I can only hope to be able to provide the level of support he gave.
- Beauty where ever it can be found. Sometimes it is as simple as a smile to as complex as the colours painted on the night sky.
- A quote from a breast cancer sport tournament. "There are many things in life that will catch the eye but few your heart. Pursue those".
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