Well it took two and a half years but Covid finally got me! Vaccines did their job though, got through it just fine. Now to catch up on all the filthy internet I missed...

Well now I'm commuting regularly to london, so time on the train probably counts as inescapable bondage...

Train seats are made for small humans.

And now for your daily dose of the absurd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z7UnO66q9w

It's super hard sometimes, to reign in the urge to message people with corrections on their profile, be it the wording or spelling. Well actually, wording bothers me more than spelling. Typos happen and dyslexia is a thing. But if English is your first language, there's little excuse for the kind of terrible bludgeoning of it that I see in so many profiles.

It's especially amusing when the profile in question is talking about how superior the person is. Sure, written communication is but one of many abilities and traits a person has, but when that is the primary method by which you are showcasing yourself, it makes you look like a fool to do so in such a poor manner.

You know when someone's profile is super special, because in order to filter out the people who can read it (clearly because they are just so perfect that otherwise they would be inundated with responses), they make it illegible. Now, I'm no graphics designer, but I know that picking:

Tiny font

Hard to read font

Font the same colour as the background

Font in a colour clashing with the background (Orange on green, red on blue, etc)

Is a good start on giving someone a headache. Or more likely, give up trying to read your goddamn davinci's code of a profile.

Being tall is awesome. I can reach things, I get birds-eye view of low-cut tops, and I've got a built-in ice breaker when I meet new people.

But I guess I'll just have to live with the fact that I'll never experience an "amazon" style Domme. Taller, bigger, stronger than I am. There are women out there who work out and probably could overpower me, either through significant base strength advantage, or knowledge of fighting techniques, but they are few and far between.

Luckily that's not a huge fetish or anything. It just seems like a hot scenario to be manhandled or overpowered in stories.

That, plus I hit my head on low ceilings and doorways. I mean really people, why the hell would you have a ceiling less than 7 foot in this day and age? Stupid rustic country pubs...

Anyway, as I said, being tall rocks.

All these dangerous seductresses out there, capable of addicting and taking all our money...

Good thing they all want to be paid up front. Otherwise we'd all be enthralled! It's really kind of sad. I guess they're just trying to appeal to the demographic, but it's kind of like telling someone you're going to mug them, but only if they give you money first.

Wondersub

Deep inside the internet, profiles all around
There sits wondersub's, sitting oh so proudly
Got much to say for himself on the internet
Yeah, yeah
Wondersub, what is the secret of your power?
Wondersub, won't you message me today on the internet, now?

Now it's time for me to tell you about Financial Domme
Archrival and nemesis of Wondersub, with powers antithesis of Wondersub.
What powers you ask? I dunno how 'bout the power of greed?
That do anything for ya? She wants your money, holmes.
How about the power to ruin a life from 200 miles away...
With your pics! That's blackmail, style.
How 'bout the power to scam you

History of Wondersub and Financial Domme
Riggah-goo-goo, riggah-goo-goo
A secret to be told, Lacking female folds
Pretends to be a chick to get all your money, yeow!

Wondersub, what is the secret of your power?
Wondersub, won't you message me today on the internet, now?

Well, Wondersub and Financial Domme caused Drama;
They caused forum drama the likes of which had never been seen,
And they both got banned from Collarme. That's right,

He, and other he
(I'm a she!)
Are now banned from collarme
Come message me, now!

Wondersub, what is the secret of your power?
Wondersub, won't you message me today on the internet, now?
Oh!


You're a man!
Financial Domme, but you try!
Bring out your wishlist.
There's a subbie.
Drain his cash!
And credit cards.
Make a new profile
Gain new cash flow
There, all set up,
Fill it, with your stolen pics!

Most of the moneydommes/findommes on here, I think I've figured out what they need the money for. English lessons!

It's kind of like a charity in some respects..

So I learned something! It turns out that any message you send anyone that begins with "So" can not be anything at all other than angry/confrontational. Content doesn't matter at all, one word sums up the whole message.

I gotta tell you, I consider my english to be pretty good. I'm not going to be teaching it any time soon and I typo like anyone else. But this kind of information ought to be taught somewhere! Thank you, random person on Collarme, for teaching me this subtle nuance of our native language. Lesson learned!

Gorean. Hah. I can't help but me amused. And don't take this the wrong way, if you are a fan of gorean related things and just like it as a setting for your roleplay, etc, I got no beef.

No, the ones that amuse me are the ones who cling to and espouse it as the "true way" o or D/s. Please, get some perspective. Gorean lifestyle originates in a book of fiction. It really is the D/s equivilent of Scientology.

Browsing random profiles, I know I should not be judgemental, but seeing people claiming superiority over "morons" or "idiots" is rather amusing when their whole profile is typed lik u r unable 2 use language correctly.

I mean we all typo and some people are dyslexic, fair enough, but do people have to write EVERYTHING as if they were typing solely with the use of their thumbs?

Any tenacious D fans out there? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ&ob=av3e

[Spoken]
This is the greatest and the best Domme in the world's.... Tribute.

Long time ago me and my computer chair here,
We was browsing down a long and lonesome list.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny profile... in the middle.. of the screen.
And it read:
[Sung]
Send me tribute for my time... or I'll eat your soul!
[Spoken]
Well me and my chair, we got real comfy,
And I thought.... Okay.
[Sung]
And I typed the first thing that came to my head,
For she who claimed to be,
The best Domme in the world, she was the best Domme in the world.

Look into her pics and it's easy to see
The lady likes cash, she adores money
Says it's destiny.
Once every hundred thousand profiles or so
When you click her name the screen will show
She'll let you know...

Needless to say, the Domme was stunned
Typed quick came her typed reply
And with me was done
She asked me: "Be you stupid?"
And I said "Nay. I am but man!"
Rock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not the Greatest Domme in the world's profile,
This is just a Tribute

Couldn't remember the greatest Domme in the world's profile,
This is a tribute, oh, to the greatest Domme in the world's
Profile! It was the greatest Domme in the world's!
Profile! It was the best muthafucking Domme the greatest Domme in the world!

[Spoken]
And the peculiar thing was this my friends:
The Dommee I messaged that fateful night, she didn't actually like
anything in this song!
[Sung]
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it!
And I wish she had liked it! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah well! Next profile now!
So surprised to find another greatest domme!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGuXCuDb1U

This is really quite awesome. Nicely sums up a lot of the problems with people who seem to find knowledge offensive.

I sense shenanigans. My profile has been viewed by about 1 profile a day that is:

From a female submissive.

Aged between 23 and 25.

Has one pic and little/nothing written in profile.

Was created within the week.

Is in America.

Some new fishin' scam?

Another thing that baffles my mind, is why lesbians keep showing up when the search parameters include "they are: seeking sub men." Sure some actually do look for guys but it's pretty rare. Odd huh?

You know, one thing stands out to me about collarme. And that is, there is quite the division between financial dominants and lifestyle or non-pro dominants.

So, why isn't it a profile option? That way people who want pro-doms can search for them and people who are just going to message them calling them whores can set their searches to avoid them.

I mean, seriously. I begrudge nobody their choices, either to seek professional services or to provide it. But clearly a lot of time could be saved, not having to say that you are a financial dom/domme in your profile and going on about how much you are sick of hearing from people calling them whores, or stating that they are not professional/financial and stating how sick THEY are of subs/slaves offering them money as if they were whores and whatnot.

Can anyone thing of a good reason why this should not be a profile option, that can be set in search parameters?