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UpDate--I have found a man that has allowed the little girl to feel safe to come out and play. We've been together for about a year, he's now deployed and left his Princess to be a big girl for a short time. We would love to meet new people that enjoy the same things we do. If you'd like to know more about Daddy or I, please don't hesitate to get in touch.
I am a strong minded woman, naturally dominant. But I have learned that I can become and am very submissive, sexually. I am in need, I..crave to learn more about this side of myself. I wish to find someone that can guide me in doing just that. Someone that can and will be understanding, as well as firm and not back down.
I have submitted one time, real time. And found that I loved it. I have this.."lilgirl"..inside me that aches and craves to come out and be loved and taught. When she's tapped into, I can sink deep and do just about anything for the man that cares for her
I'm a divorced mother of two. Long copper red hair (natural). Bluegrey eyes. I have the figure of a slightly fuller hourglass. Soft and womanly.
I recently ran across something called "Taken in Hand". It deals with a dominant man, taking a strong woman and being dominant over her. The woman, giving up control, to that one man. Still retaining her strength, even though she gives control over to the man. Sounds like a normal D/s relationship, I know. But to my way of thinking, I feel a normal D/s deals with a woman that is totally submissive. Where as TiH deals with a woman that normally isn't submissive...but for that one strong man.
A man, strong enough to have a woman feel her submission, where she normally wouldn't.
That is what I am looking for. A man, strong enough to help me see and feel the right place for me. I know I wish to submit, but to the right man. I know I wish to give up control, but to the right man. I know I will fly, but only with the right man.
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I'm not sure how some of the people here can play the head games that they play.
You meet, you meet again, you try to do all the right things, you want to please and make happy. You're told that you're beautiful, that they can't wait for this or that. You do as told, you try to form yourself as they want..Only for them to dwindle down the contact, with one excuse after another. Only to end with no contact at all.
You see them here, day after day and wonder why it is they have the time to be here, and yet not the time to at least send a message saying...'I've changed my mind'...'You're not the one I'm looking for'...How hard can it be to tell the person they've left waiting...'It's not going to work'?
It is wrong for a submissive to voice her hurt and confusion? To bring up the fact of what is hurting and confusing her?
I would think not. I would think that it should be welcome. That it -would- be welcome.
Do not dominants that are considering another person to take as their own, have the responsibility to listen to that person? To listen and to try and understand, to try and make things better. Be it on their end of things, or the submissives?
To be told it was a check and balance. To ask what was meant by that and not get a message back. To be told they would call, only to be left waiting.
...
I now hurt. I'm not the kind of woman to give myself over so freely and to have done what was done..makes me ache, makes me tear up and hurt, from the inside.
I know this only lasted a couple of weeks, but the things I did, what I was willing to do..and to find out it was all just some kind of game. No, he didn't say it was a game, but what else could it have been? And who in their right mind would ever admit to playing with someone else's feelings?
For this, I have to step away. I have to heal myself. Will I be back? I do not know. Perhaps this just isn't for me any longer. Perhaps I am better on the other side of the fence where I -am- the one that is in control of it all. Perhaps I'm just in the wrong place, looking for something that is meaningful and real.
Perhaps...
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Why is it so hard to find people that not only understand but are able to accept who and what I am? |
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Resently I had started talking to someone on here, we got along wonderfully. I found that I enjoy being called 'goodgirl', being told that I was being thought of and missed.
We met up for lunch, we got along great, I felt..wonderful. We ended up going to Wal-Mart for one thing or another, did a little shopping. Hung out together longer and I felt like it had went good. It did go good.
Can you hear the but in there? Have you ever felt the shift in something? Such as, worrying over something only to feel the shift and realize there's no need to worry. There's no explanation as to why the feeling comes over you, it just happens. OR...things are great, and then you feel the shift that something just happened and it was no longer great?
I felt that small shift, when I was given a soft kiss, a stroke to copper locks and a hug, before we parted company.All the way home, I tried to put that feeling to the side, telling myself I was just worrying over nothing. But that feeling grew, when the next day, and the days that followwed, I was no longer told I was a good girl, that I was missed or thought of. I knew something was going on, so my being the strong minded woman, and not pussy footing around, I asked. And I was told that perhaps I'm too dominant for him.
I was blown away. I didn't think I had even shown a dominant side. I was just being myself. I mean, I joked around with him, I picked on him, like he picked on me. I laughed at his humor, and he laughed at mine. He couldn't remember what it was I said while we were in Wal-Mart that caused him to think this, but it seems I said something to set off that flag.
I was...speachless.
My mind raced over everything we'd did and said in Wal-Mart and all I could remember was us joking around, having a good time, and my asking him if he wanted me to get something that was in the buggy. That's it....
It makes me wonder, if perhaps I am too dominant. But then I remember how it feels to be called 'goodgirl' and I remember a few other things..and I come to realize..I -need- this. I ache for it, so bad.
To find that one man that can and will take me in hand. To help me become the woman, for him, for myself...that I know I can be, that I ache to be, that I -will- be.
I just wonder..if I will ever find him, that one man that's strong enough. That's able to see past the dominant things I might do, I might say. To put me in my place when the time calls for it and not worry about how I might react.
There is that little girl inside, that aches.... |
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Why do some men have to ask or say, in the second mail they send me..
What's your yahoo address?
You got a picture for me?
Call me Sir, girl.
Why can't they take the time to talk to me, get to know me for who I am and not try to jump into things. Yes, they are small things, but still, they are things that shouldn't happen until we get past a certain point, you know? Why do they insist on going a 100 miles an hour right off the bat? As if they are in a race to get to the finish line as fast as they can. When all that does with me, is make me back peddle. |
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