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SurrenderForMe

SurrenderForMe

SurrenderForMe - photo 1
SurrenderForMe - photo 2
No one not already talking to me should contact me until this message disappears. I will delete any new contacts. I have too many emails, this is not a job and I won't sacrifice myself to humor you.
I smoke. If pain is your pleasure and serving is your need, meet me face to face or do not talk to me. I am looking for a quality male or female or both who crave pain and want to expand on that and explore it with me along with D/s within a relationship. Something I wrote long ago that is relevant. How I see my interaction with a pet, wine and humiliation, sex and the theater, scuba and strap on sex all part of the same world. Just be you... if I want to fuck someones ass I go get a cucumber, if I want to spit in their mouth I take their chin, look in their eyes and do it.... a life, not a lifestyle. I'm not just all about heavy pain, but it is an essential element of any relationship with me, along with D/s, a lot of sex and mainstream life. I am not SSC, I am RACK or the one that makes me howl, PRICK. Do not be lazy, look it up. If you are honestly a fit for me, you will have read my profile and your initial and follow on emails will be intelligent, engaging and not one line. The first email tells me a lot about the quality of the person contacting me. To boil it down, an intelligent person, who loves sex, loves pain, feels fulfilled by having someone tell them clearly what to do, how to do it and can hold their own in discourse and loves to explore new tastes, sensations and experiences while being able to pursue and succeed in whatever their career goals are. I have all the normal interests, swimming, SCUBA, travel, gardening, bicycling, great conversations, Shakespeare, comedic plays, crap zombie films, wine tasting, fine dining in or out. I have a hair pulling fetish, bald or balding does not work for me. You MUST have a full head of hair at least 3/4 inches long. This is a deal breaker. I do not have, nor do I want, online friends, online play or casual chats. Some information for you to review -

Expectations for subs/slaves and me and my partial list of slave rules - for subs not all of this applies. Or another way to look at it is that it is introduced over time and level of commitment. The rules are subject to the specific people involved and realistic revision upon my determination that it is needed. It is partial because, as the interaction evolves, so do the rules. The expectations are not subject to revision, but are open for clarification.

Rules for slaves - this is only a partial list.
1. No orgasm without permission.
2. Daily contact, until/unless living in the same household. I expect a submissive or slave to want to talk to me whether to learn or just interact.
3. No involvement with anyone else for romantic or physical liaisons (online involvement for either of these is included in the prohibition).
4. Ask permission before buying new clothes or changing your appearance.
5. This is for when an established pet travels without a chastity cage. When you wake up, you kneel; knees spread and masturbate without cumming while repeating out loud at least 5
times ‘I belong to Jacqueline’.
6. This is for when an established pet travels. Night time ritual, same but may or may not be allowed to cum. If allowed to cum, when orgasming you say, “I am cumming for you, Jacqueline”. Depending on timing and circumstance, I will be there. If not, you will perform via cam or phone. This has nothing to do with online play. Before and again while masturbating, you kneel, knees spread, hands on knees and say “Jacqueline loves when I freely offer my submission. I know things she enjoys, things she admires, and the things that make her most proud. Those are the things that I try to do the most often; I try hard to learn more things to make Jacqueline proud and to please her, as well."
7. Always kneeling when speaking to me in person. (This doesn’t apply in public, unless I specifically say so.)
8. A text to my yahoo when you leave home (prior to living with me) and when you leave work.
9. Crawl, don’t walk in private. Exceptions, in the middle of cooking, serving something that has to be held or where common sense indicates, walking is allowed. (This doesn’t apply to public.) I recommend knee pads.
10. Open all doors for me.
11. Green tea available for me to drink.
12. Ladies Maid service will be expected. You will learn how to groom me appropriately.
13. Men, always clean shaven on the face. Other areas are dependent on me, but generally smooth below the neck for male or female.
14. You must be intelligently proactive.
15. When possible, be at the door to greet me on your knees, nude with knees apart, hands on knees. I will let you know within a half hour of when to expect me, at most. Strap on is part of our relationship, wear a plug while waiting. Enemas are done upon coming home. Strap on is part of my pets life unless health issues interfere.
16. Household chores are handled by the sub/slave. Slave is always paying attention to if things are in order around the house and tidies as he/she goes along.
17. Always nude at home. If a person comes over, if they are kink aware or more, my pet stays nude and serves. If the person is not kink aware, easy to don clothing is kept available near the door.
18. Not allowed to close any door to any room you occupy, including the bathroom.
19. Do not break a promise made to me whether large or small.
20. Some pets are not allowed on the furniture. To be discussed.
21. I like to laugh, joke, tease, debate. But when I order, no matter how politely, you obey unless you know of a risk I am unaware of and then you tell me.
22. All of a male pets underwear will be discarded and replaced with female panties. Females will not wear panties.
23. My pet is always in chastity unless servicing me.
24. My pet is responsible for buying their own insertibles and chastity device, either one I picked or one I approved.
25. The chastity device should have a resettable combination travel lock and is required from the second meeting going forward.
26. Be clear and complete when talking to me. Vague answers are not helpful and annoy me.

Expectations for submissive’s, slaves and myself
1. Communication. Ask if something doesn't make sense. Tell if something is causing an issue. But don't question everything I ask, just to question.

2. Attempt perfect obedience. I say attempt because, realistically, I may ask you to do something unaware that there is some constraint that makes it impractical or undoable. Exception, sometimes I want to challenge you, sometimes I will set a task that is, or seems undoable. At that point your judgment, trust and sense of adventure get a workout.

3. A real connection. I am not interested in being a mentor. I am not interested in training someone who has an expectation that they will use me to gain experience for another dominant. If things don't work out, they don't.

4. You need to be open to exploring new ideas, sensations and mindsets, with me. Don't just say no automatically. Since a submissive has limits, I have to respect those limits. If there are too many, it makes me lose interest. A slave is required to be open.

5. Commitment to me. This ties into 3, but is important enough to have its’ own mention. Don't play games or play this as a game. Really commit to allowing yourself to be part of the process and interaction with me, not with me as "Mistress fill in the blank" If you want that, really, it is more decent of you to pay a professional to role play with you or to fill that role without any need for emotional connection on her part. This is my life, not a job, hobby or avocation.

6. Intelligently proactive. If you have learned something from experience that common sense says will be positive to do, don't always wait to be told. If something seems like it would be pleasant, consider me in that picture and decide whether the risk is worth the reward.

7. Trust me. Trust takes time. But to start, you have to allow a certain amount of blind trust and build on it. You also have to trust in your instincts. If it feels wrong, back to communication, say so. One thing I am responsible for is in providing a structure that you can trust and being a person you can trust to be there for you.

8. Open sexually. If you are too inhibited, I'll get bored. Being straight is not an issue. Not being willing to kiss, perform oral, rimming, anal, strap on or intercourse would be a problem. From there, there are other things that I include as sexual, but are open to discussion.

9. Respect and loyalty for each other. This is essential. I respect you as a person and that you are doing something important for me. I value that. You respect me as a person and that I am doing something important for you. I will stand up for my submissive/slave, I expect the same. Not stupidity. If you did or said something that was patently wrong to someone, I'd pull you aside and inform you of it. I expect the same. If someone insulted you, I'd stand up for you, I expect the same. If I invite you to talk directly before meeting respect the following. If you don't have it, get yahoo IM. It sucks but complications with my computer make Skype mess up even more.

Common courtesy, do not initiate a conversation with me on yahoo after 10 pm. I'm generally around in the evenings. Say hi and I'll respond if I'm available. I never show online.

Let's talk real time and see how it goes. If it goes well, start with the basics and invite me out. Dinner, something fun to do....or we can just have coffee or a drink somewhere neutral in case you worry about safety.
I was just kindly pointed to how to fix the location not matching when changed on the profile.  The solution is to go to your account and update the zip code there as well.

An attempt to codify my ideal pet.
  • Lady/Gentleman in public
  • Impeccable service, or trainable to be such.  Service being household chores, massage, manicure, pedicure, ladies maid.
  • Very sexual and sensual, but drawn to suffering for their release.
  • Intelligent, I can't emphasize that enough.
  • Well rounded, can hold their own in a discussion of politics, cuisine, finance....
  • Hard core masochist and knows it.  I'm open to exploring the depths, not open to helping someone discover if they can or cannot take pain.  If you don't know, go hire a pro and find out before talking to me.
  • Open to new things, sexual, kinky and life.
  • I prefer someone who wants to go deep (aka slave), but it is not a deal breaker.  Part time pets are a deal breaker.
  • TBC or modified.
Really sick of one liners and randomly useless contacts.  Here's what I want and have typed in response, in an endless variety of ways, to people.

Before I contact anyone, I read their profile.  I'm pretty sure you didn't read mine or you wouldn't have written what you did.

If you could read my profile, and if you think you fit what I seek, tell me about yourself.  I'd like to know about you as a person, as a pet, how you fit me and a clean photo.  From there we have a basic starting point.  In full sentences.

If not, I wish you all the best in your search.

Regards,
Look at the picture for slavejk, he has really pretty marks and the sense to have a valid reason for showing his ass.
Lolololololol

" - inch
' - foot

To understand, read my profile and finish 6th grade.  I'm trying to be kind.  I really think they teach that in 3rd grade, but I don't remember.

6th - Sixth

The world is a sad and hilarious place.
I guess it's still a good thing that people can feel free to be themselves.  My first and only email received from this person with whom I've never communicated.

"From:     obedientspirt
Dated:  2/21/16 12:22 AM
    You seek real slavery?Fuck you you deserver nothing."
 
Such an incentive to think I can find anything worthwhile here.
There's a small carnival in town.  They had an attraction called stunt jump.  The platform is about 20 feet off the ground.  I'm terrified of heights so I had to try it. 

A new rule, if I see a carnival, go home and put on pants.  I managed to preserve my modesty, but it would have been better to be able to let go all the way.

What fears have you faced lately?
I'm tired, tired of online and tired of a lot of things.  I've gotten to the point I am forgetting my own life lessons and my profile keeps devolving to what I don't want.

The prime rule is that everyone is a liar until they prove otherwise.  That's not as negative as it appears at first sight.  People do not spend much time learning themselves it seems and if one assumes they are lying to themselves and you, then handling them is easier and there are no (or fewer) assumptions to lead to mistakes.




Over the flu.

Spent time doing nothing meaningful.  Gave in and tried Big Bang Theory, which surprised me by being an entertaining show.  Of course that is compared to the crap that makes up tv viewing these days.

Endless messages from people who will spend as many hours of their life as they can in fantasy and run screaming at the thought of actually doing anything.

Is there one intelligent, articulate, submissive, pain tolerant (or more) person on this site that might match me?

Oh well, I'm going to stick to mixing people I meet in real time with this tragic mess of online ...  Surprisingly easy to meet potential pets, but then I have to start from absolute scratch.  Weirdly my luck is holding and only sub guys approaching me, but passive aggressive females.  I think all the well balanced female subs may be elsewhere.

2016 sucks so far.  I caught a cold on December 30, 2015.  I now have the flu.  I have had to type this like 5 times to fix my typos.  I have been in FL for 3 months or so.  So far met one kinky person.  Super excellent gentleman.  Typical person claiming to be a sub.  A bottom who is hooking up with women to fulfill his kink while planning and looking for a mainstream, non-kinky woman to have children with.  If he lives up to my experience, he will either do so and regret it for life, or he will cheat.   Met and dated a mainstream guy who is submissive, but not kinky.  He'll obey, he even knows he'll obey because I've pounded it home that he is submissive, but he's not kinky. 

I updated my profile with a statement, request, of who I seek. 

I love spell check.

Happy New Year.

Florida so far.  Kind of weird.  The people are almost 100% polite and friendly, even the dicks are polite dicks.  I had a twilight zone moment with the perception I'd found a real Stepford zone.  But it really seems genuine.  Lol, I've started automatically smiling at people, which someone from the Northeast would know is not the norm.  Randomly getting into conversations with pretty much anyone seems the norm.  Kind of cool.  But it's messing with my cynicism.

I went to the beach finally, OMG, walking into ocean water that is actually warm.  Very nice.   I went to Fort Hill Beach which is the closest beach to me and is in no way commercial like most beaches here seem to be.  I'm pricing kayaks because I am going to explore the springs and some ocean kayaking, maybe get back into SCUBA.  A place called Gatorland is on my list, ziplines, gators and a bunch of other stuff.

If the news is typical, the state has a lot of violence and random people getting eaten by alligators.  I'm trying to reconcile that with Silver Springs which is super close to me and has kayaking.  The end of the route includes alligators.  I'm seriously going to have to ask how you get out of the boat when there are gators so close.  I like risk, but I'm not trying to become dinner to a reptile. 

I've not seen an alligator, but I've eaten one.  Hmm, nothing special.  They have these things I can't remember the name of, balls of dough/stuffing.  Some with slivers of meat, most just the dough/stuffing.  They seem to be ubiquitous, like grits.  I think the goods ones taste like croquettes.  Overall, they are something to eat part of one and then stop, useless calories which along with grits seem like they are just filler.  Grits, eww, tasteless, oily grain.  I'm trying to get back to cooking because I've been living off of takeout and that gets old and unhealthy really fast.  But, some of my guilty pleasures are much too close and convenient.  My exercise machine is still buried under boxes, it has become pretty urgent to get it uncovered for use.  I mourn that lobster is much more expensive here, I knew it intellectually.  Now I know it in real terms.  No one mentioned it when I was researching my move, but groceries cost a lot more here in general.

I've met a few kinky people, a couple and a potential male pet.  To my surprise, both meetings were really good.  So next week I will be joining a male dominant and his pet and we will co-top her in a nicely twisted scene.   The sub actually came across as a very good sub, still exploring his masochistic angle.  For someone who said he doesn't like CBT to actually stay hard when his genitals were caned (just a bit), I have the sense he can take pain.  I'm tempted to gag him because he does the whole making noise because he thinks he's supposed to act like he's really hurting thing.  I asked why and he admitted it was just habit.  Too funny.  Telling him to shut up has worked to some extent so far.  Having fun.  I got to punish him for something and let him feel a punishment stroke on his ass with a cane.  It left a very pretty welt.  Watching him dance around and make noises was a howl.  I don't know why people don't get it that I will make them hurt.

I'm loving the climate right now, as endless people assured me I would.  We'll see how it feels in the spring when the temps soar again.  I thought I would literally melt when I first got here.   In the meantime, I look forward to swimming when the natives balk at the 'freezing water'.  They should try diving in Northern California.  They'd be so shocked.

Liguid water has been discovered on Mars.  I want to go. 

So depressing that that stupid movie will benefit from this.
Is anybody going to the Clearwater SuperBoat weekend, next weekend???

A weeks delay in the apartment being ready, almost another week delay with the movers and an idiot installer added even more time until I had internet.

It's very hot, spending mucho time in the ac.


Marathoning 'Suits' while I look at apartments.  Season 3, Episode 11, at the half hour mark is a good example of what I'm like in bed.  If that scene does not make you hot, then you will be a sad puppy with me. 
I'm tired of the garbage I get on this site.

  • I say, must love pain.  I get contacted by people who can't take pain.
  • I say, must have a brain.  I get one liners and illiterate garbage.
  • I say, must have integrity.  Obviously most of the people contacting me never had it or abandon it when they sign in.
  • I say, must have hair on their head.  I get a woman who wants to be shaved bald, and most people contacting me are bald or balding.  This includes 'receding hairlines'.
  • I say I have a high sex drive and want someone who can keep up with me and who will also be chastised so I can enjoy their suffering when I choose.  I get castrati, cuckolds and people who want to screw everyone.

As a clue, let me state that none of those fit me.

  • Want a pen pal, chat pal or online relationship,  please know I do not respect you and that I in fact actively and passionately despise you.
  • Want to dress up, cool, never ever ever at home.
  • Questioning your sexuality, join a support group and do not in any way shape or form talk to me.
  • Have some religious or emotional or any reason to object to being clean shaven on the face and body, no thank you.
  • Have an issue with your friends, family or co-workers knowing you are with me (not your secret kinks or lifestyle, just that you are with me) after a reasonable amount of time, then take your hidden shame and stick it where the sun don't shine.

I'm cutting back on how often and how long I am on this site.  I currently have 3 pages of backlog and it won't be cleared anytime soon.




Weird new trend on CS.  People are emailing me and then deleting their accounts before I reply.  I have no idea what one can get out of sending emails and disappearing, but I've had it happen several times in the last two months.

I'm guessing the single one I got where I had the chance to respond and even talked on the phone with him was just a wanker.  But the email and disappear ones make no sense.  Maybe it's something in the water these days.
Warning, I'm considered insane because I don't like stubble burn.  I have been informed by a learned professor that a beard is required to be successful in academia and that my dislike of facial hair is a sign of mental illness.  Seriously, I fear for the intelligence of the human race. 

Why do so few say, "Okay cool, that's a deal breaker.  Nice talking to you.   Good luck." ?

Okay, that's it.  I have talked to a gazillion slaves with endless limits.
I would like to find the first person who said 'no limits slave' and all the people who speak any language who have used this redundant term and slap them silly.

A slave has no limits not set by his/her owner.  End of the freaking story.

And of course, it never ends.  In my thinking, and as mentioned in previous entries, submission should be based on a foundation of trust and that trust either keeps building or not over time.  If one is a slave, submitting without a solid basis of trust is just another way of courting suicide.  It shows a lack of mental acuity and disqualifies someone as a pet for me.  But I guess it depends on the goal for others.  Some want to live fully, others are drawn to horror. 



2015 finds me tired.  I just had a very nice dominant contact me and tell me how submissives only take women over 40 seriously as dominants that know what they're doing.  That's great and may even be true.  So, I am assuming that I am just too scary to find a viable pet.  Or something.  Not sure what, but I'm tired of spending months talking to people who swear they are interested and they almost never follow through.  I'm not referencing the full spectrum of those that contact me.  I'm talking about time spent talking to wankers who fit the subset of , full head of hair, in good shape, intelligent, submissive, masochistic, extremely kinky and can hold a conversation.  The additional information was edited in to answer a supposition someone here presented so he can see a full explanation of the situation.

Here's what happens.  They reveal some deep seated twisted element.  Lol, so far all have been prosaically acceptable to me.  They're thrilled, relieved and scared.  We set a date to meet.  They disappear.  Having said that, some of them had to be lying and sh*t themselves when my reaction was, okay that's fine.  So they milked the kink out of talking to me until they couldn't delay meeting any longer.  The rest ran because most people are cowards who never actually pursue real fulfillment.  There, that's what happened, lol, or I'm just not who they wanted.

In the past two weeks, spring has sprung.  I am having an influx of people I've talked to long ago contact me.  There's the guy who locked himself for years, but never meets anyone.  He caught me up late one night and when I told him that for further conversations he'd need to start talking to me before 10 pm.  He informed me I was insane and that it was impossible to talk before 10 pm.  I guess I'm insane, I always thought common courtesy was an accepted standard, even in the scene.  Different person, different topic, same general line.  I am supposed to be of service to the pseudo submissives who have never even submitted once.

I've got the strong feeling that maybe all I attract are marginal personalities at this point and would love to be disproved.
If you see yourself as...., great:
Strong
Proactive
Adventurous
Kinky/open minded
Masochistic - take pain, love pain, tolerate pain...
Alpha
Accomplished
Intelligent
Creative
Well mannered
Want to, demand to, are determined to meet within a month of first talking.
Excellent companion
Would prefer to be castrated than to do Adult Baby or diapers.  No, I don't mean do you want to be castrated.  I mean do you hate age play.  I love sex, sex with my pet.  Withholding sex from my pet.  Torturing my pet with sex and with lack of it.

If you see yourself as...., no thank you:
Weak
Indecisive
Scared
Non-masochistic
Purely submissive
Unfocused
Dumb
Just meat
Castrato
Unable to meet within a month of first contacting me.
Married or committed to someone else.
Just playing
Lazy
Do AB. 

The people who I am attracted to, made sure to learn about the things they like.  If they didn't have a partner, or were too young, they did things to themselves because exploring, adventure and pleasure were essential.
Some excellent fisting videos.  One was a favorite for a little while now, the other I got from a group on FLife.  Fisting, double fisting and shallow punch fisting.  The double fisting is something I haven't done yet but would love to work someone up to.  The rest I've done.

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.?viewkey=615833599
http://xhamster.com/movies/742221/d4mi3n_gets_a_brutal_punch_fisting_by_girlfriend.html


If you haven't done fisting, this is not the level you start at unless you want to wear diapers for the rest of your life.  It takes time and care to get to this level and not cause permanent damage.  Do your research.
My only reason for wanting a pet right now is so I wouldn't have to go shovel snow as I'm about to.  Make it stop.

The tragically hysterical part is this will probably generate a response.   It will start with, how can I serve you, or I'd love to help.  I'll say you can't because you just want a scene and (what I should have,  but have never said, and do the shittiest job I've ever seen) it will be too much hassle.  And he'll say, no I just want to serve.  And if I'm bored enough (because this stuff is sometimes comedic gold) I'll say, okay what is it you want.

The first few times the supposed no strings chore offers were made to me, I had never considered them and I got into it, for one purpose.  I have like 6 closets worth of clothes and I want to downsize.  So using no names to protect the idio-innocent.  What I got was:

The most despicable people are the "I wish I was closer" crowd.  Any stranger that contacts me and mentally strokes themselves for saying something so patently self aggrandizing when I'm in a bad mood is so pitiful that I have no words.

The women I've done this for would take me into their backyard to piss and hold my penis
The women I've done this for would let me worship their feet - boring they should at least let me kick them in the balls.
The women I've done this for would follow (cartoon bubble, my stupid ass) and direct me
The women I've done this for would dress me up in a little maids outfit (wishful thinking, I never got that one.  It's supposed to be the norm for kinky helpers isn't it?)
The women I've done this for would give me a golden shower as a reward (lololololol, I'm into GS, but the thought of having some stranger between my legs.  I think I'll wait for someone I might want to fuck.)

My response has devolved to I'll make you strip, shove a pink bunny tail up your ass and you get back to me when you're done.  I'll thank you politely and you will leave.   I'm so surprised no one takes me up on it.

Okay, round 1of 4 of operation get the frigging snow dealt with is done.  Only 3 more rounds or realistically one long ass one when it stops.  At least I made myself laugh.

  • I talk to someone here, we move to YIM.  I have been thoroughly taught a lesson this week.  I tried to accomodate someone using an app and it decimated my computer with a virus that I am still trying to fix a week later.  I use YIM until I decide I want to talk on the phone or maybe Skype.  Nothing else.  Can't deal, do not talk to me.
Meeting me.
  • Step 1, we meet.  If it goes well, we date and I take more and more control if there is a spark. 
  • Step 2, a chastity cage is locked on at the second meeting and basic rules are implemented that have already been discussed before meeting.  You will buy a chastity cage that is well fitted and a resettable, combination travel lock for the cage.  You will buy a set of plugs and dildos so your ass can be trained whether you are male or female.
  • Step 3, if the dates go well and we have enough chemistry I will continue to take control more and more.   
  • Step 4, you show me your test results for HIV, HPV, HSV serum test, Hepatitis and whatever STD's your doctor threw in, before any sexual contact; kissing, sex, oral ...  No results, no progress.
  • Step 5, you spend time with me in my home and I start your training to serve in day to day terms.
Strict, but not quite as cold as a list like this would imply.   I've found that if I let people focus on the softer side, they are useless in person and worse as pets.  I'm not a rock, I'm sensual and supportive, but always a sadistic dominant.  I do not have mainstream relationships.  The world outside generally sees nothing, but no pet of mine is ever just a lover.  There is balance, but there is never an absence of D/s with me.

So boring, waiting for the blizzard to hit and see if it takes out the power, while stupid government people have the big plows out, plowing less than an inch of snow.  Scraping and damaging the road because there is not enough snow to plow and adding to the costs of their plow blades for no reason except they want the overtime.

I want to be skiing or somewhere tropical.

Change of tune, this is freaking amazing.  My car is all but gone.  The chimneys of the houses around me are buried if they're not burning.  I wonder now what happens if you light a fire, no draft, it will take a while to heat up and melt a hole?  

Realistically I think, I've seen snow deeper than this before, but it is so different than it was last night at this time. 

The new landscape has fields of white with craters a foot to two feet across from snow that has fallen off the trees.  I really don't remember having seen that effect before.


Today has been a good day.

I've looked at some profiles that, at least in writing, remind me that there are people who have excellent minds and very twisted desires.

I've been watching the storm here attempt to dump all the snow we did not have this winter, all in one beautiful, ethereal fall.  The world outside is a wonderland of snow.  My only regret is I'm not skiing.

I've had a very honest man tell me he didn't bother to read the 'crap' in my profile, but he loves my face and wants to date me.  What more can a woman ask to make her smile?  Okay, don't answer that, because I started to think of things and it'll blow my mood if I actually start listing them.

I hope those nearby are finding this weekend as beautiful as I.

Stay warm and shovel what you need done soon.  I was out a while ago and it's turning to wet heavy snow and starting to harden.

I am not a robot or self serve menu

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now, because I got blind-sided by an idiotic concept that pops up intermittently.  Each time, I find myself in a battle with some pseudo submissive who has decided that some author has written the bible and final word on how a dominant will act and how their submissive will act.  This time it was an Ingrid Bellemare groupie.  The object of worship is nothing but a detail.  Be it imaginary like Gor where a barely passable, semi porn writer took ideas that were around for a hundred years or more before he incorporated them in his jerk off books, then renamed them so he could claim them as his own; or an original writer and dominant like Bellemare.  I do give Noman, who wrote the Gor series, kudos for collecting up other peoples original ideas in an okay story.

One thing essential to me is that my pet is a thinking being.  An aspect of deep submission is that a submissive or slave can deify or wish to deify his/her dominant.  All well and good.  But any person who claims to be a submissive and claims to want to give that control over is a COMPLETE FUCKING MORON if he/she thinks that a dominant taking orders from another dominant is in any way a dominant.  Those kind of people should approach the subject of their worship, no one else.  Because anyone who does as someone else tells them to is submitting, not dominating. 

This was a foot fetishist claiming that only women who demand foot kissing as the main expression of devotion are real dominants.  And saying that that is what Bellemare teaches.  I think Bellemare is fine, some of her followers need help.

If you do not want to obey me or want me to obey another; DO NOT EVER TALK TO ME IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.  I do not bottom from the top, switch or submit.

You horrify me.

How is a pet like a webcam?

They're both plug and play.  Today may be bad joke and pun day.

Buttons I would like CS to add to the response bar (or just rants because I feel like it):
  • Thank you so much for not wasting your time reading my profile.
  • Thank you so much for doing me the discourtesy of ignoring what I want, good sub.
  • The only thing I think I listed on my profile that is optional or open to exceptions is your age. 
  • It's sexual role play if you only submit in bed, or worse claim that being tied up so you can lay back like a corpse and think that that will satisfy anyone but you.
  • Submission is the joy of doing laundry and washing floors and leads to really passionate sex or chastity.
  • If it doesn't leave marks that last at least 3 days, it was foreplay, not S/M.
  • Spell check is your friend, but a slightly handicapped one.
  • GIYF
  • I am not your friend.
  • Why are women's breasts getting bigger while men's dicks are getting smaller?
  • Which part do you not get, strict or demanding?
  • Online what you write is the impression you will make and most people don't even seem to care that they have left none or only bad ones.
  • I neither mentor beginner kinksters nor teach ESL, but if I had to choose, I'd choose ESL.  At least I'd get paid.
  • I think my scary video only scares intelligent people I might have liked, but then again if you are a pussy you can't handle me.
  • Submission without pain is like black and white.  It's color that brings the world to life.
  • Sex in a tree is an adventure I won't try again.  It really freaking hurts.
  • So, having just been reminded by a conversation, I'm the dominant, I do what I want.  I will not be following whatever crap you read ex-dominant you had or icon you jerk off to.  That's called obeying, not what I do.
I"m not sure this is a profile thing or better in my journal, so for now, it goes here.

When I talk to someone here, they are a stranger.
When I cam verify with someone, they are still a stranger.
As we talk on IM, phone or cam they become more real.  When that happens I want to take control, but never online.  Every instance previously of doing so led to nothing but online wanking.  For the pedantic or pedestrian, wanking is not just physical.
Until we are face to face, we are strangers.

I've always seen online as the cyber equivalent of seeing someone from a distance.  Because of circumstance, they happen to be doing something that reveals a tiny piece of themself and vice versa.  Since it's a kinky site, that glimpse is solely beneficial for pin pointing each other for commonality.  After that, it should just be treated as if you saw someone somewhere, liked something about them and asked them out.  Instead it is this drawn out garbage of excuse after excuse for why we can't meet.  For a while when I first went online, I acted like I would if I was on a first date with a person.  If I felt attracted, physically and mentally, I treated them like I would in person.  All that has ever gotten me is complete losers who only want to talk online and get off.   Or before I made camming a rule, people who I would not be attracted to, who hide behind words.

I do not want an online relationship.  I have neither respect nor interest in online relationships.

So, here's the rub, I am private in general.   Online I've become restrained more, but while still restrained I am open since letting someone get that far with me means something about them really interests me.   Online wanker losers mourn, when I first got online, I jumped right in and talked about everything and still do.  What changed is that, at first, I did start giving orders and checking progress for more than a year before I realized what parasitic, vomitous low lives were just playing games.  My interest in online control went down the drain.  The one continuous theme is that talking about kinks and interests, mindsets and motivations along with generic life issues leads to the potential submissive pushing for some kind of control.   When they do that, my knee jerk response is to lose some trust in them as being genuinely interested in meeting and being my pet.  This means that I am not relaxed and never completely at ease enough to jump in and start issuing orders to someone who I have never met and start to expect never to meet.  I have yet to find a good solution.  I always make it clear online play is not just, not an interest, but an active turn off.  I've done exactly what I was asked and 100% of the time, said do x, something previously discussed and the pet swears it's not a limit, they refuse.  Here's the best part, the reason is always the same, I would only do this in person if you became my dominant.  They always have another order they want me to give them that is always pure jerk off material and in no way submitting.  So far, I haven't met one of those guys or women.  They find that I won't play the game and I move to the expectation when they ask that they will never follow through.  At least not so far, but that leads to a self fulfilling circle.  I start to doubt them, I get frustrated, so I don't want to talk to them.  Part of why I started this journal to try to show my attitude and inclinations without having to sit through endless conversations as the person talking to me uses me to get off mentally and/or physically.  You can do that with my journal and I never need to know.  My goal, my aim and my interest is face to face.  I have let my skill at word games to play with a pet via text, atrophy.  A cost for me, but I refuse to feed the need of a class of lying, dishonest, dishonorable, selfish scum.

When I spend what I would prefer is a few weeks on IM, then meeting; it generally goes well.  Hasn't led to finding a really good connection, but the encounters were at worst boring and at best led to some interest and fun.  The majority of the people I met would have liked to continue.  If I spend more than a few weeks talking, I start to get bored and it leaches into my feelings for the person I'm talking to and at least for me, starts to kill my interest.  My responses become rote, my attention wanders and it is over.

If you contact me, unless you can honestly swear to meet within at most a month of first contact, don't contact me.  I do not care what your special snowflake reason is, it is a deal breaker.
The Fallacy of 24/7

So, people say 24/7 it's too much.  It's fantasy.  It is not doable.

Questions to ask yourself.
  • If you have a relationship with someone, are  you in that relationship part time?
  • If you are only partly involved with someone is that even a relationship?

All 24/7 means at its root is a commitment to the relationship.  It can go deep, it can be very restrictive.  Or it can be more shallow and not very restrictive.  From my viewpoint, since I don't plan to go through the variations from everyones viewpoint; it means that the person I am with is someone who no matter what the circumstances and however mundane is a submissive to me in the relationship.  Something that is only obvious when I choose it to be.  It's the details that determine any more.  From what I've seen online, the majority of 'submissives' are misnamed bottoms.  They want to submit sometimes to add spice, but the rest of the time they want to be 'normal'.  Normal is boring and mindless to me. 

In the end, all that 24/7 means, to start, is that you are not a cheating fuck, friend with benefits, player, or the worst, married and cheating; who can't commit.  The rest is up to how much, how deep, and whatever details of your lives.

At least in my lexicon.


HAPPY NEW YEAR

Random stuff

If you drink, take a milk thistle capsule every day.  It will protect your liver.  That's not hearsay or random gossip, that is from peer reviewed science and I'm amazed people don't know it.
If you don't drink, same.  It's a weed, no side effects unless you're allergic.  Just a plain, simple benefit for your body and protection from toxins and liquor.  If you're hung over, hopefully it was a really fun night.

From BaronessD:  Dandelion tea or tincture also helps the kidneys and liver and helps detoxify ;-) (old Cherokee cleansing ritual and what is also used when others 'od' (overdose) on drugs or alcohol - homeopathically).

Kegels, lol, I've been telling new pets to do them for years.  There are quite a few benefits.  First, for men, you will have less potential issues with your bladder as you age.  You will be able to last longer in bed.  Depending on if you put in the 2 minutes or more over the course of a day to do them, you will find that after a while you will cum harder.  If you keep doing them and start focusing when you cum and try to do a kegel while, you will cum longer.  Women tend to clench when they cum so they have it as a natural instinct already.  You'll find it is hard to do at first, then easier and easier.  When it becomes easy and natural to do a kegel clench when you are cumming, you will find you can orgasm without ejaculating and keep going.  The end result is that you have now learned the key to multiple orgasms for men, staying power that rivals viagra and a bladder that will serve you much better.  If that's not enough, I recently found references to more advanced levels, if you move to the next stage of doing kegels, you can even get a bigger dick.  All you do is get hard, flex the muscle and make your dick bob, but you put your hand over it so it has resistance.  As you build strength in the muscle, you also increase blood flow to the penis and your little toy can get bigger over time.   When you get strong enough you can make it a nice circus act where you tie weights (ounces, not pounds) to the head of your penis and do penis lifts.  Two for one benefit, your partner has a comedy to watch and a nice toy to pleasure her or him after.  The penis enhancement is not something I have tried, it is new information.  The other benefits listed before that, I have used and they work.

For women, you will have a healthier bladder, less or no leakage as you age, more intense orgasms, and you can milk a guy with your vagina.  If you do more than the minimum two to three minutes over the course of the day, you can get to the point of being able to cum from clenching rhythmically.  This is the secret to not falling asleep in meetings, but you might want to chew gum if you're a screamer.

Kegels do not require any equipment to do, just focusing on clenching.  Although I tend to like the penis stretchers for torture.  I have no idea if they do anything but hurt the pet and make me smile.  Who can resist stainless steel?

Endless instructions on the web, I recommend starting at the Mayo Clinic site.  They have less random garbage.  The one thing to rarely or never do is stop and start urine flow.  It is a way to prove to yourself you have the right muscle, but doing it also weakens that muscle.  Weird, but true.

I had more ideas to share, but I will have to get back when I remember them.  I kind of define tangent.



Wishing you all the best holiday ever and a very Happy New Year.

I got the best Christmas present in years in the form of a conversation on Christmas night with a friend who has known me for around 18 years.  He knows I'm a sadistic dominant, he's a fetishist/switch or maybe fits as kink friendly best.  What he isn't is a sadist or masochist.  We've met at or gone to parties and a few events together, but we mostly just hung out as friends.  

The conversation was about him looking at my list of porn and being puzzled by Prisoner of the Cruel Mistress.   His direct kinky experience with me was a scene I did where I tied him up to a really hot blond in a very intimate position.  We'd been talking earlier and making out some and he'd told me he thought she was hot.  So I, lol, hooked him up.  

For the most part he hasn't been at events I've been at and when he was, through some twist of fate he only saw me being playful.  He knows I am sadistic.  He knew my slave.  But he never realized exactly how intense we were.  I'm not sure anyone else will get it, but that was one hysterically funny part of our conversation.   I did reassure him that I'm not at the level of Natsuki who I watched slice open a penis on video.  I'm a kinder, gentler sadist who doesn't have the training to do things like that and no particular interest in learning.  The part I was thinking, but forgot to add in writing is, a picture is worth a thousand words.  I originally started posting the videos I like because each shows what I like to do and I thought it might help.  His reaction and realization that when I said I was a hard sadist I meant it came after years of him knowing me and not getting it.  Words that I have typed just don't seem to get a clear enough image of my wants and needs across.  The videos are what I do, but don't assume I'm in them.  I don't let anyone film me.  In concrete terms, posting the videos has not improved the quality of the contacts I get, but I tried.

I guess the approach of the new year has me in a reminiscent mood.  While we were talking I told him about the first party I went to in California.  An acquaintance took us to a place in San Francisco.  I played with my pet and we had a blast.  Unbeknownst to me, the other people at the party watching had been talking and were under the impression that I must have somehow drugged my whip because my pet was the type to zone out and fly.  We had just done whipping, but it was apparently a lot to these people.  I was used to Massachusetts parties where I had seen some amazing things; a dancer whose dominant would tie her up inverted and whip her hard, a dominant who used a blow gun to shoot needles at his pet and then use a single tail to whip them off and other fun.  So a straightforward heavy whipping was no big deal.  Except it seems these weirdos thought it was.  After I finished laughing, I was a bit annoyed and started to realize that this group was not at the level of my usual kinky peers.  The acquaintance had done damage control and given them a lesson in pets that go deeply into subspace and pointed out the idiocy of thinking I had drugs on my whip.  That still makes me laugh so many years later.  Luckily for us, there were other people and parties that fit us just fine.

I hope everyone finds whatever they're looking for and hopefully has at least one good friend they can continually discover new things about.
So I've been doing mindfulness meditation.  Eckhart Tolle is my favorite for this.  He's a complete geek who makes totally silly jokes and finds himself hysterically funny.  Because he amuses himself so much, I tend to find him funny too.  For someone so totally in his head, he's totally out of it as well. 

I meditated just before posting the list of porn and have been laughing my ass off at both my porn and pretty much everything on this site.

If you find yourself stressing, especially at this time of year, I really recommend trying the mindfulness meditation.  I'm currently finding the world a very nice place. 

Nope, still a sadistic dominant, just a very amused one.
Porn I like.  This is not an invitation to contact me to discuss porn.

Don't go by the labels, they are not accurate as to my interest.  The cuckoldry ones are the only ones I can find where the pet licks out cum. 

Ask before you assume anything.

  • Mostly fisting and double fisting, but a few moments of punch fisting.  http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.?viewkey=615833599
  • My favorite type of punch fisting, shallow and hard.  http://xhamster.com/movies/742221/d4mi3n_gets_a_brutal_punch_fisting_by_girlfriend.html
  • My favorite of all time, so far, pain and D/s video even though it is flawed and just acting.  You have to work to get this one, torrent is the easiest way but you can buy it or download it torturously as split rar files.  By elitepain called Elite club, case 21.  Lol, it's two female subs, but the dominant is male.  Ones reaction to it and how much they see reveals a lot about them to me.
  • http://www.redtube.com/674825 a new whipping one, very nice.
  • http://www.tubecup.com/videos/33505/chastity-vibrations/
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/3080698/redz245_femdom.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/2346974/strapon_fucking_my_boy_2_please_comment.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/665948/cruel_mistress_and_her_slave.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/1986631/honey_i_you_bi.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/2073763/asian_babe_bond_and_fuckd_by_a_fucking_machine.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/2116242/tied_and_fucked_hard.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/880037/d4mi3n_rides_monster_strapon_dildo_cums_on_girlfriend_039_s_tits.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/768146/property_of_mistress.html
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  • http://xhamster.com/movies/1555288/shower_strapon.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/955882/prisoner_of_the_cruel_mistress.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/875055/whipping_torture.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/882724/cuckold_get_fisted.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/629974/daisy_diamond_strap_on_scene.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/485245/deep_strapon.html
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  • http://xhamster.com/movies/314126/femdom_prostate_massage.html
  • http://xhamster.com/movies/245351/femdom_he_wants_all.html
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  • http://xhamster.com/movies/444018/sissy_boy_slut_brutaly_pounding_his_ass_into_a_gaping_hole.html
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Happy Holidays
For those looking for things to watch.

Predestination, a movie that literally had me alternating between OMG and Holy Shit at the insane twists.  Science Fiction, Adventure and Mind fuck.  One aspect that may be of interest is the transgender aspect.  It's also a film that presented a new idea.  Surprisingly one of two films like that.  Every idea may already have been thought and every line spoken, but this film and the one below felt unique.

Come Back to Me, a really not so great film, but damn, the concept was original and the ending was a real surprise and mind fuck.  I think they miscast the bad guy, but also his lines sucked.  But wow, way to go on new.

Then there was Coherence, starts well with engaging dialog, drops down to provide back story which was not handled well, then provides twists that kept me mostly engaged.  Quantum physics buffs will find it interesting and possibly funny in an ironic way.

So sad, no zombie movies, but the chocolate cream pie with real, stabilized whipped cream was a consolation.

And butterflied or spatch-cocked turkey is totally a new love.   Brined and short cooking time with the tenderest white and dark meat.  Surprising things I learned, brine does not provide flavors, it provides moisture.  The herbed butter put on before roasting provides a deep, penetrating flavor that totally surprised me.  If you do a butterfly turkey and don't have a perfect oven, really, really rotate it every half hour.  I had one of the best most flavorful turkeys.  Next time, dry rub and butterfly.  If that works as well as advertised, I'm done trying new ways for a few years.  In the meantime, the leftovers have been spectacular.

Happy Holidays
Happy Thanksgiving

We've got 3 inches on the ground and freezing rain to make it nice and icy out.  Stay safe.
New movie coming out next week, 'My Mistress' and good old '50 Shades of Grey' some time next year.

From reading the reviews of 'My Mistress', I'd recommend tracking down 'Punish Me' a German film from a few years ago.   It was a better depiction of a submissive intent on getting someone to dominate him.  But I'll know better after watching for myself.

Since someone asked, Punish Me was well made.  The energy from the submissive was well done and inviting.   But, so far, I haven't seen a film that didn't give in to some wimp out in some direction.  Still waiting and since the review I read of 'My Mistress' has spoilers I know it won't be the one to break the mold.  It just looks interesting.

'50 Shades of Grey' is an unknown to me, I have seen random references to it.  I was given the books, but haven't been in the mood to read them.  Maybe I will if the movie is any good.



Ground rules with me, very fluid but on some things there is no compromise with me.

No compromise:

  • Once past the dating/getting to know stage, but from the first time in a private home, submissives will almost never wear clothes.  This is easily integrated into any lifestyle and situation not involving additional people living in the home.  A coat rack, closet, basket or even the floor can hold clothes or a robe to quickly put on if guests arrive.  The exceptions are as above or if protective clothing is needed for safety.  That's it unless I'm feeling playful.
  • I have zero interest in whoring a pet out.  Anyone interested in that, buy me an island, build me a mansion and the funds to keep it going and I'll take it from there.  I've always wanted to recreate the 'Beauty' series ambiance and rules with the businesslike aspects and playfulness of 'Exit to Eden'  on an island in the 21st Century.
  • An ability to communicate intelligently, whether written or spoken is required.  If you can't talk, I can't trust you to let me know who and what I'm dealing with.  Let alone get any depth or connection.  Everything is in the mind.
  • Honesty, integrity and an understanding of what that means on both sides.
  • It's a relationship, not a business deal.  We have to have chemistry.  I'm not a pro.  I don't want to be a pro.  BDSM is part of me, not what I do for a job.
  • I'm really not a swinger or poly.  I find that really paying attention to one human being is quite a lot of effort, emotional and mental.  I say I'm mostly monogamous because nothing is 100% except death and because I am not closed to potential fun.  But it's not a drive to screw every person I can or have my pet do so either.  The pet that fits me best thrives in knowing and feeling that I will explore them more deeply than they've ever experienced.
  • It is not off and on.  It ebbs and flows based on the situation and constraints but I am the dominant and my pet is submissive to me no matter what or where.

May be continued.
When I was 20, this came up.
When I was 30, this came up.
When I was 40, this came up.
In the last year, this came up.
In the last month, this came up.

In a world made so much smaller by the web, why is it that people have not learned the basics of a sex act that is participated in by a large portion of the population?  Note I didn't say the kinky or BDSM population, just people.

Anal sex, ass play, pegging, .......

Because this subject is like a cold and comes up so much, I'm going to explain from my layman's experience how to fuck an ass.  No, not that guy.

Anal sex should not hurt.  If it does, you're doing it wrong with absolutely no doubt.  I am a sadist, in case you want to call me soft, meet me at a party or event and invite me to torture you and you will find out that I really do know how to hurt you.

First step, to enema or not to enema.  If you don't, you should be okay with occasionally or more often having feces feature in your life.  For my part, enemas'r'us.  Fudge packing should be left to the 'Keebler Elves'.

How to do a proper, healthy enema.
---Distilled water only, EVER.  All other water (and anything you add to it) is bypassing the bodies defenses and going to, lol, the end of the line.  Which means it misses the acids, enzymes and processes that the body has to filter out the (all puns come with no money back guarantee or apology) crap.
---For a 1 or more quart enema bag, can, container; 1/2 cup of strong coffee in the final rinse.  Coffee and the caffeine is good for several body functions, including brain health.  That small an amount diffused in the water should not have any negative effect.  Common sense, if you're allergic, don't use it.  Decaffeinated coffee is no good.  Don't use flavored coffee.
---For the basic safe, solid and healthy enema, the above is all you need and can be done daily.  I add something, a pro-biotic in the final rinse.  Crushed up and dropped into a cup of distilled water to dissolve.  Why, this is that hype you have heard on tv.  Your gut when healthy has up to a pound of beneficial bacteria that works to keep your gut chugging along, happy, healthy and regular.  Enemas wash out/deplete that bacteria, which weakens your defenses.  I recommend a multiple strain pro-biotic.  For why, GIYF.

Enema equipment is subjective.  The basic kit is available at any pharmacy in the US for $10.  It's made of rubbers and plastics.  If you have no concern for the fact that all rubbers and plastics are off gassing chemicals and also microscopic bits of rubber and plastic, party on.

Fleet makes disposable enemas, plain and with salt.  No, no, no.  Plain water sitting in plastic for however long.  Anybody read the article about the singer who got cancer because she was drinking bottled water that was stored too long?  Salt, really?  It's fine if you are dating a surgeon who plans to do home surgery because the apocalypse happened.  For sex and health, do not stick salt in your ass.

An enema set up that uses your shower, uses your water.  So unless you have a lab's level of water filtration, use distilled water only.  The best home filter is not good enough.  I know, it feels really interesting, but it's bad for you.  Your body, your informed choice.

My choice, stainless steel bucket with medical grade, closed ended, silicone tubing.  It basically is a tube with holes at the end so the water can get into you.  Full set up will cost you about $75.  Over time the only thing to replace is the tubing.  PVC is bad for you, it off gases some nasty chemicals when it's in a dress, let alone up your butt.

Now, ass play, the main point of contention and irritation for my whole life.  A really easy rule of thumb, if it hurts, it is damaging you.  That damage is permanent and if done repetitively, damage will compound (increase).  The anus and colon are delicate.  Your ass is much more delicate than the vagina, so it needs to be prepared properly.

If the risks of:
don't scare you into common sense, you're probably not reading this far.  Take proper care and you can have the hard pounding sex or the soft undulating sex of your dreams.
Your ass will not become insanely stretched out if you follow the basics.  What it will do is learn to be relaxed and stretch to accommodate the invading penis, fist or toy.

So, scary part over, unless I think of something to add.  Anal sex feels fantastic when done correctly. 

Second rule of thumb, you can never have too much lube.  Your ass has no lubricant.  It really needs lubricant.  It wants and craves lubricant.  Get it?  Okay, maybe it will help if you know that your favorite porn stars shoot lubricant up their butts in large quantities before they spontaneously grab the delivery guy and rock his world.

Third rule of thumb, stretch.  Slow and easy, stretch, stretch, stretch.  Start small, a finger is good to start.  If your partner is scared, use a freaking string bean (fresh, organic and washed with soap, not antibacterial soap.).  If someone is scared, they clench when they need to gently push back against the invader.  Make it a nice slow and drawn out process to open someone up.  I find it is fun in and of itself, especially with tease and denial.  Over time, one can take a larger invader from the start, but always start at what you can handle, start slow and easy and build from there.  Ass players tend to have a collection of toys in staggered sized for just this purpose.  The smart ones do not ever share them, except the double ended ones.

One technique that tends to work well is to arouse the person, it distracts them and relaxes them.  It's like a really good sensual massage.

Anal sex should not hurt.  If it does, you're doing it wrong with absolutely no doubt. 

If you like bleeding or making someone bleed, get a single tail, a needle or a knife and whip, pierce or cut. Don't make the ass bleed.  It is a sure sign you damaged someone.  It doesn't mean they need a doctor, but it can if you ripped the colon and/or the bleeding is intense.  It does mean that you damaged tissue that sucks at healing itself and will build up scar tissue that leads to other health problems you do not want to deal with.

Fisting, large object insertion and deep insertion are subjects that I'm going to leave alone.  There is extensive information on the web, find it, learn it.  I hope you all get to have lots of anal sex and orgasms.

Addendum:  If you suffer from any of the now becoming rampant bowel issues, have a compromised immune system or just want to stay as healthy as you can, avoid carrageenan.  It is in all ice cream and in most creams, but also any number of other processed foods.  There is a doctor who studied its effects on people and found that it is a bowel irritant and can lead to cancer.  Since I have had several people contact me about my post who have those kinds of issues I figured this would be good info., or not.


Submission versus submissive role play

I’ve been sick for the last few days and started thinking about submission trying to flowchart it in my mind.    That’s so not happening; it’s got too many branches and sub-categories.  Essentially there are as many ways to submit as there are submissives.  But it did lead me to think about something that comes up when someone is new to submission, or has extensive experience scening.  Scening is essentially role play, not submitting.  This was triggered by talking to a submissive and after telling him I was sick, he proceeded to describe what his previous dominant would do.  This was that even though sick, she would pick out his clothes and provide a newly written list of chores for him.  What he did not indicate any thought of was checking on her well-being, offering to make a cup of tea or some soup or in any way take care of the dominant.  That is a fine example of not submitting.
In a scene the dominant stands over the submissive directing each action while teasing, torturing or taunting.  In reality, that may happen in the initial stages as the dominant is assessing the quality of the submissive they are involved with and for fun.  But on a regular day to day basis, the submissive knows what to do, how to do it and is fulfilled by having provided that service.   They generally enjoy the praise and/or appreciation of their dominant as their reward. 
This is, surprisingly enough to me, one of the hardest things for submissives with no experience (but a lot of reading or porn watching experience) or only role play experience to internalize.  With the literature (fiction) and the ‘play’ culture (role play), many supposed submissives have the mindset and attitude that a dominant is there to service their ego and play games and has no other purpose, interests or obligations. 
In real life terms, standing over someone who is washing a floor is ludicrous and negates the value of the submissive.  
So, for those who see submission as an act that requires an audience, consider that you may not be submissive but are a bottom who likes to role play.   A suggestion would be, do the task, wait for the reaction of the dominant (praise, correction) and see if you might actually find yourself feeling the satisfaction of having really served. 

What I NEVER want:

  • D/s Dominant
  • Poly
  • Sissy - whiny bottom, manipulative, pouting, childish.  This is not sissification,which is when a man is dressed to ridicule femininity and masculinity in order to humiliate.  This is also not talking about feminization, a male being taught to both appreciate feminine aspects and/or appearance in himself.
  • Whore
  • Weak
  • Unintelligent
  • Bad grammar
  • Disorganized
  • Depressed
  • Cuckold
  • Racial fetishist
  • Scat
  • Castration Fetishist
  • Liar
  • Cheat
  • Coward, unmotivated and won't take risks.
  • Unemployed, or subsistence level and expect me to support them.
  • Infected with an STD
  • Drug or alcohol addicted, even if recovered.
  • Married, committed or otherwise unable to commit fully
  • Online anything
  • Random compliments, thank you so much for contacting a stranger and wasting her time with meaningless words that show you are bored or desperate.  Please find someone who actually has endless time to type the same phrase over and over and over again.  Thank you for the compliment.  If you are actually interested in me, you would never have sent me this load of bullshit to waste seconds, minutes and hours of my life on nothing.  The best people to do that to are the obviously moronic and facetious who would more than fit what you offer.
It's snowing heavily.  How weird is that?
Hair
Lol, yeah, so not going back to the play.

As much as I'm a sadist, I'm a sensualist.

What attracts me to hair is having my pet with his/her head in my lap and running my fingers through their hair.  
Sometimes scratching lightly, feeling the hair flow over and between my fingers teasing me.

Sometimes grabbing hold and pulling my pet in for a kiss, then pushing them down and going back to rubbing, or running my fingers through their hair, or scratching lightly.

For the person that feels that hair pulling is erotic, not something to tolerate or survive; that's a trait of a pet that fits me very well.  

In a way, I think that is why calling my submissive or slave 'pet', is so right sounding.

That image epitomizes my relationship needs.  It is bonding, erotic, painful, pleasurable, d/s and even communication in a limited way.  Sometimes there's laughter and conversation, sometimes it leads to sex.

I also love to grab my pets hair and drag them somewhere or throw them down.

Hair is a great handle for holding someone as I use my strap on.

Or for guiding and pulling in during other activities.

And if I orgasm with my hands buried in hair, it makes my fingers tingle in a really pleasurable way.

There's this hairstyle some guys have adopted.  A patch of hair in the middle of the forehead is standing up like a little hair penis or a horn (phallic imagery anyone?).  I can't say I won't do castration anymore, as long as it's a hair penis.

Seriously, before the castrati fanatics come out of the woodwork, note I am talking about cutting off a chunk of hair shaped like a penis, not a penis.
Too funny statements.

My biggest strength is my ability to handle multiple forms of anal.  Really???
Lol, in what reality is that a strength?

"Men are like fine wine.... (wait for it)...They begin as grapes and it's up to Women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." Credit to PROUDTOSERVE, not too funny, just funny enough.

Endlessly funny, Hitler was a vegetarian. LOLOLOL.  He liked to do things like sit with his fellow butchers and while they ate chicken soup comment condescendingly "So you're eating dead bird soup".  Just to distance myself and not because I am a completely dedicated omnivore, I abstain from vegetarianism.

TBC
Since everyone seems to be in fantasy land, just imagine that I posted a 10,000 word list of expletives here.
The book I will never write because I'm non linear in my writing.  Note:  I'm RACK, not SSC.

1.  Beginners that are looking for experience are best off with inexperienced or slightly experienced dominants.  Unless they are, and know for certain they are, extreme masochistic submissives or slaves.  Those treasures should not be shared with anyone but the most experienced sadistic dominants.

2.  Date.  Go out with someone who attracts you, be yourself.  Let them see your dominant or sub side bit by bit naturally.  If they don't accept you, fuck 'em.  There is a world of people and quite a few who will appreciate you for who you are and your courage in being yourself.  But by dating, you get to know the human, not just the label that online creates.  Heads up, I'm kind of writing this for beginners.  I may or may not be an exception, but if I connect with a sub, slow is not quite the term I'd use for me.  But I also don't have sex with anyone unless it's long term, so many things I can do that don't involve me being penetrated or licked or touched intimately.

3.  If you aren't able to hook up with a dominant easily, then go to a pro.  Get some experience and learn where your inclinations lie.  Same for dominants that lack experience.  Pro subs can be the most amazing teachers (I only know this from making friends with a few and watching them with clients.  I learned by doing in my teens like any normal kinky person).  An hysterically funny irony, most pro subs are sub and most pro dommes I met are sub.  After catering to supposed subs submission, they tend to just want someone who knows what they're doing to take control.  This comment only applies to the ones I met, not all the freaking pro's on the planet.

4.  Onlne, unless there is something that honestly attracts you about the person, don't waste both your time and integrity lying just to get your BDSM rocks off unless the other person is up for a hook up.  You can even put it in your search terms here and elsewhere.  Hook up, mentor, casual, one night stand....  Yes, I totally get that this was a waste of typing, but I live in hope that some wankers have ethics or something decent.

5.  Submissives, if you aren't naturally talented, buy a book on performing oral, maybe several books.  Read the book and practice.  Your dominant will love me if you do.

6.  You want to show you have some basic understanding of what this is all about.  I get a lot of emails from people saying they serve.  Service is cleaning, maid service, ladies maid (manicures, pedicures, bathing, doing makeup, dressing your dominant...), cooking, running errands, mowing the lawn....  (Sexual service is a crossover item, but if it's the only service you list, you're just a horny fucker and should be on Alt.com or F--Life). 

Kinks, Fetishes and SM are, but not limited to, bondage, ropes, role play, forced fem, forced bi, spankings, cbt, pain, cages, puppy play, foot/shoe and body worship, wax play, water sports, strap-on training, and sensory deprivation....  Forced bi is a hot form of submission but, for some like me, best if it really is something the pet would do only if it was submit or leave.  I.e. they don't want it and are really submitting.  The forced bi most people put on their profiles is someone who wants it, but wants the dominant to enable them.  Nothing wrong with that, but try owning your inclinations, it's just bi swinging.

If you want to look uninformed and selfish, feel free to call your kinks service and look like a fool.

7.  Limits.  I finally accepted that the only way to respect someones limits is either they have the same ones I do, or I respect them enough to leave them alone.  If someone says they will submit, I expect them to submit.  If we are a mismatch on limits, then one of us has to yield.  I'm not good at yielding.  Aside from that, it ends up feeling like I'm play acting since right up front I'm being told what I can't do.  Consider that when you look for your reciprocal.

TBC when I get bored.
For anyone new to online dating sites.
Online dating is like an endless ruined orgasm.
Things I've learned:
-Newest top of the list.  There is a core of people who, for any number of reasons, will just keep avoiding something they know is an absolute deal breaker.  They talk and talk and talk.  Pick your priorities and get answers to those things or you may find yourself talking to someone for weeks, months or even years.  Then, they finally either address that thing or just disappear having had some satisfaction for themselves.  Variation on online wankers. 

Life is about finding the pleasures you can before you die.  There is nothing after.

-If you are in the scene for money, party on.  Fuck over all the losers and maybe show some compassion for the pitiful and desperate.  But if you contact me, you better fit what I need and not what you project me as needing.  And yes, I totally regret I am not greedy and selfish.  But I can't change it and I don't really want to.
-If they are bald or balding men they will send a photo with a hat on most of the time.
-MOST of the people who contact you will neither read your profile (no matter how short you make it), or care what you want or need.  So, be rude, delete them, block them or you will end up like me with 2-3 pages of emails every time you sign in.  This will leave you exhausted and drained and you will miss the tiny percentage of sincere emails that you should have read.
-Only unattractive people refuse to send a photo privately.
-Terminology is a trap.  People can't agree on many commonly used words, but sub and slave are misused the most egregiously.  Have people tell you what they need, want and offer in mainstream words.  It will weed out maybe 75% of those who always turn out to be horny men and women who have no interest or ability to submit.
-Discrete generally means married or otherwise committed.
-A suggestion:  Always make any pet you take on buy their own dildos and plugs.  Unless you are a pro-domme.  It does two things.  First, it shows you have some common sense and class.  Second, the people who think of dominants as unpaid hookers and/or pro-dommes will resist.  This lets you know they are scum and choose whether to let them use you or walk away.  After all, no one with any idea of being safe and clean would re-use toys like that.
-If you are into chastity, make them buy the device after you have gotten to know them a bit.  A good test.  I do this and found that the majority, for reasons unknown, will promise to do it.  But, when simply asked if they followed through, they confirm not doing it and unless I'm missing some motivating factor; confirm they're lying.  I have one specific one that costs less than $50, so it is not spending much money on themselves that is the issue.  In a weird way, it's like a lie detector test.  And it's not using them to buy stuff for you, so it's not an excuse to write you off as just in it for the money.  The consistent angry response I've gotten when they confirm not following through makes me suspect some sub-species of online wanker.
-Pick a task, something that just shows they are sincere, mine is above.  
-Anyone that has been inconsistent in communication, once talking in real time, is lying about something, or very rarely really did have something come up.  On that one, I've ended up confirming most of those, not all, were talking to others which is their prerogative.  Lying about it is the shitty part. 
-Anyone that refuses to give a contact phone number before a planned meeting, is somehow fucked up.  And even then, if it is called and doesn't connect, warning Will Robinson, danger.   This is the only one where I say run, don't bother.  Because in the world of google and skype, even if you have it hidden/anonymous.  If you give a number and someone dies, they will find your ass and put you in jail.  So advice, always get a contact number before meeting and put it in a place it will be found, like your yahoo mail, or gmail.  Always, always, always call that number and if it does not connect to a person, don't meet until after it has.  The police will track the fucker down if you die, probably.  Any honest person is safe, because call blocking does work.  So there is no excuse in reality that covers it.  Also, I'm totally tainted by having had cop friends.  Meeting in public does not protect you.  All they have to do is follow you after the meeting.  Then your home, your work, your friends are all at risk.  That phone number is at least a tiny protection.
-Anyone that sends poetry as their introduction has been whacked.
-Anyone that sends kinky photos as part of introducing themselves or when responding to a request, is telling you they have no respect for you and is probably a waste of time.
-Anyone that refuses to address me as JJ or Ma'am (uses, even insists on calling you goddess, queen and mostly mistress) has been a flake.  Not living in the real world.
-Anyone that refuses to cam is hiding something, 100% so far.
-Anyone from a foreign country has been a lying fuck, 99%.  I actually met someone from France once and he became a friend.  Couldn't be my sub he wasn't a masochist.
-Anyone that is under 25 has been looking for someone to finance his sex change to female.  No I do not seek out 20 somethings or teens.  Okay, one exception, he was tempting because he came from pain.  Females under 25 have wanted advice, so I don't have any real negative impression of them.
-Those 25 to about 34 are shallow, selfish and unconscientious liars.  A psychologist, sociologist or psychiatrist will tell you that 29 is just about the age when humans reach maturity.   Under  that and you have a child's ethics and maturity with enough experience to be at a peak for lying well.
-Anyone that submits up front, in emails to me, has been useless.
-Anyone that has jumped up and down about communication has been useless.
There's some guy that contacts me once a year or so for this bizzarro contract to submit.
Also, every year or so, there's some guy that contacts me that is married and looking for someone to tell him it's okay to cheat or to soothe his angst that he has a gorgeous body, a super hot, loving wife and a perfect mainstream life.  What the fuck?
-People who won't send photos privately are hiding something and the effort to find out what is a waste of time that would be better spent watching water boil.
-Anyone that uses an avatar or the absolute worst, a picture of some super hot model is an idiot who undermines their potential to connect because they set expectations, even with a cartoon.  Or maybe that's me.  If I see a picture not avatars, that is the image I have of the person and when they don't fit it, I immediately lose most or all interest.
-Anyone with multiple profiles is hiding something.  If the site deletes a profile, then one can make another.  But anyone maintaining more than one, that I have talked to, was a super slime ball.  Like primordial slime was more human.

The majority of the people I have talked to, in real time, are either liars, cheats, or some other form of scum bag.  This seems to be a 99% year for slime and that's after endless emails to even more people before this final point.  In general,  it's more like 85% are a waste of time.  That's just statistics.

Anyone who contacted me that had a rant on their profile was a douche.  Lol, I admit this is a rant.  Take it as you will.  I'm sad to have let someone in so he could be a douche.  Also, I totally own up to not being perfect, but I have been honest.

Anyone that promises to abide by what you want upfront and then finds reasons and tries to play coy is useless.  Probably a redundant comment. 

Virgins, I started out saying pretty negative things about them, but honestly I have no way to relate to deciding to hold onto inexperience.   

All I am looking for from people is to be honest.  If it doesn't work out, it just doesn't.  But damn, it is emotionally and physically exhausting to put in the effort to get to know someone and have them not make an honest effort.  Okay, that's almost true.  I am also looking for them to be attractive to me, strong ethically and dynamically, submissive not just in bed, love pain, enthusiastic, adventurous, .....

This post is motivated by my latest 3 months spent talking to someone and having him be a lying whatever while finding out in the same week that I may have to move without any time to plan.   I hate moving. 

I've only talked to maybe 20 people online (that fit me in some way) that I would say were honest, sincere and just didn't match up.  I've made a few friends, I've had some fun encounters, but overall, I'm just tired.  I've now talked to over a thousand who I would happily never have known existed.

On the positive front, for reasons unknown, letting myself acknowledge all this had me laughing.  So weird.  Catharsis or surrender to never having what I had again.  Not sure. 

Okay, time for twilight zone comments because I am finding things to laugh at.  The last two men I met in person swore they were not masochistic.  Each one of them messed up my dress by cumming all over it when I hurt them.  Truly, wtf?  Is it now so bad to be a masochist that people are blinding themselves to their actual kinks.

As one reads this, they have to think, but what about her flaws.  Okay.
I'm chubby and working on it because fat turns me off.  Totally a pot/kettle situation.  How dare I be attracted to fit bodies when I'm not.  We like what we like.
I am not driven to build an empire.
I have a hair pulling fetish
If someone tells me they hates something and I like it, I'll torture them by talking about it.  Why?  Because even when I dislike something someone else is into, I learn and that's what I look for in others and I'm a sadist.
I am either spectacular or atrocious when I cook.
I like sex a lot.
I struggle when a sub wants to argue with me and sucks at it.  I exacerbate it by trying to provide them with the lines they should say to express their anger.  That is why I try so hard to find my equal or more intellectually.  Because anything less and I come across as a condescending asshole.
I hate my family.
I love sex in water.
I am not promiscuous.
I smoke.
I am actually something that most people who claim to be sub hate, demanding and precise in expectation and communication.
I test people to see if they even relate to being a lady or gentleman.
I despise most of the scene and the teachers, because the ones I met are just parasites or predators.  Example of predator, well known, respected writer preys on new comers to date rape and drives a lot of them out of wanting to submit.  Almost anyone that reads has read and admired his work.  And because whatever they say that's published, the scene accepts and embraces pedophiles when it comes down to it.  Having stated that someone who endorses sex with 12 year old's is a pedophile actually pissed off a whole group of people including the well respected guy who endorsed it.  This is out of date because I haven't been in the scene for 6 years.  But, S/M is alive and well.  Standing around, posing and looking hot is and always will be a thing.  Worse, it's fun to torture someone in front of a crowd and get a kick out of people kissing my ass for doing what I like.
My finger nails break on a dime.  On the upside, they're so thin, they slice skin with little effort.
I let another asshole hurt my feelings.  Disgusting.
I reject the belief that one is a sub if they have too many limits. 
I am not superlatively beautiful.
I regret turning down marriage to a rich guy because I didn't find him attractive.
Since I just got my third email this week (all surprisingly complimentary and depressingly telling me I'm turning them off kissing or sex) on my post about STD's, I'll just say, freaking people stop  screwing everything that walks without protecting yourself and messing up your and other peoples lives.  No, I do not have herpes or other STD.  On a cool note, I've never had one.  On a sad note, I've met 5 gay men in MA and they all had one or more of the permanent ones and told me that it is the norm.  How sad is that?  And that's not commenting on the parties where HIV positive men have sex with disease free men and then check in 9 months later to see if they passed it on in a sad mockery of the stupid fuckers who get pregnant as teenagers on purpose.
I think painting someone blue on Halloween and calling them a smurf is funny.
I can't remember, but there's something I keep coming here to add and then just editing what I already wrote.  Who knew going without sleep made you stupid.
I want what I want and that's not allowed anymore.












It's funny, someone sent me a link to a site for FLR.  They're grassroots and so anti BDSM, but they have interesting things to say about communication and realistically any kind of relationship.  Plus, how can I dislike a site that actually has a topic on surrender vs. submission.  It was pleasant to see people who got it and on a site that is anti-BDSM.  LOL.

I took their self assessment for kinkiness, I only scored 90%.  I never did get into dressing up for anyone but myself and they asked about dressing in lingerie for my partner.  Lol, my partner is someone who I want to be aroused whether I'm wearing a sundress or a business suit.  Plus, I find business suits much more sexy than lingerie.  If I had a dress code for subs/pets/slaves, it would be nude or in a really well tailored business suit. 

One thing that was great is that they say they vet members, mostly the male members of course.  They say they have turned away over 10,000 men.  If only this place would somehow vet for the male and female wankers, the wannabe's, the hookers and the cheats.  I know, 90% of the members would be gone, but they were never really here to begin with and bring down the quality and benefit of this site with their existence, let alone presence.  I say that with full acknowledgment of the fact that not being a match is always a factor.  I'm not speaking to that.  This is supposed to be a BDSM site, not just a kink site.  Most of the people here are not dominant or submissive, they're just kinky and it's sad that they don't know themselves well enough to know that (or they know and don't care) and go away.

Expectations, something I haven't paid specific attention to, except to ask what people want from me.  The answers are almost always so vague that they are meaningless, or so catch phrase ridden that, lol, again, they are meaningless.

I'm beyond FLR, but it is a factor of what I do/seek/am.  I am someone who just wants one person to care about, torture, laugh with, laugh at, control, have sex, make love and share with another.  Yeah, yeah, I'm not opposed and even have a specific event that involves another, but it's not a consistent event or goal.  Just my killer test to see if the person I have come to care about will do what I want.

If you're curious, the site is http://www.aboutflrdotcom
Just rambles on a Sunday evening. 



The Surrenderforme Levels of Dominant's list.
This is not official, not approved by whichever group has assumed the right to codify BDSM.  Just my thoughts, from the female perspective.

FLR Dominant - BDSM to whatever extent within a relationship.  This one applies to me but only with a very deep level of submission or slavery as my goal (TPE).
Scene Dominannt - BDSM is the main element of the relationship, little to no social contact. 
Bedroom Dominant - She takes control in bed.
Bottoming from the top Dominant - She is either riding the wrong pony or she has something hobbling her confidence and inhibiting her dominant nature, like a 'sub' with tons of limits so she can never actually feel  like she is taking control of anything.  Or peer presure from her BDSM social network.  Or, fairly common, she's new and hasn't found her balance yet.
Play Partner Dominant aka Top - She is just looking for fun and no connection, negating any dominance.  I've only experienced play partners in the SM sense.  I have no interest in dominating someone that I have no connection with or real interest in.  Play partners are exercise for me. 
Hook up Dominant - I can't relate to this so I can't describe it.

It will be a howl if this gets adopted in the lexicon of terms.  But the point is to maybe help people to better decide if they fit me.

I started thinking about this because of meeting some people recently.  The majority of the people I've talked to and met expect me to perform like a hooker, pro-domme or a seal.  I generally have to make it very clear that the first meeting is like dating someone you met on the street.  It's to find out if whatever initial interest led to the date has any substance.   Unlike the role players online, I am fully aware that meeting is a two way street.  Both parties need to be interested in exploring more.  The only difference between a mainstream first date and one with me is that if the chemistry is there, then my dominance and the other persons submission will poke their little heads out and start to play.  This tempts me to go off on a rant about all this, but I won't.  I will say, if you only want the BDSM, you don't want me.  The person for me wants to be with someone they are attracted to and care about.  Amongst the various ways that I show how much I like or even love someone is with pain and control.  The person for me feels connected or cared about by experiencing pain and giving up control within a full relationship.

CM is a bdsm site.  The people on the site are generally expected to be kinky in some variation.  The reason I visit this site is to take advantage of the fact (belief) that I could pinpoint more bdsm related interests that match mine, within the larger context of a fully developed person. 

Every single person from this site that I have gotten to the point of meeting, has belied any semblance of interest in anything but using me to get some kinky attention.  No one has ever met me from this site and shown interest in knowing me, talking about anything but kink with me and pushing (both softly and hard) for kink.  I am specifically not referring to d/s which is of course an element of interacting with me.  So, to all the bitches here that complain about the women acting cold, disdainful...pick a denigrating word, it's a learned response to being treated like less than or the same as you'd treat a hooker.

Since I start from the assumption/hope that a person I talk to is kinky, has looked at my interests and thinks we are compatible; what I am hoping to hear about in addition to the former, is that persons other interests, skills, fun, experience.  As much as it sucks to try to describe oneself, until a face to face meeting this is all one can do.

I have a friend, he happens to be a sub in a committed relationship.  He has the basic skills of a good sub down.  He is helpful, proactive, truly fulfilled by serving and being appreciated for that service while having a passionate relationship with his wife.  He reminds me of what I had and what I seek, except he isn't a masochist.  That's what it boils down to, I want someone I am attracted to, who loves to submit and is also a masochist.  So simple, so hard.

When people contact me and only talk about bdsm, I am left with the clear impression that it is not me they are interested in.  Just a breathing jerk off device.  Aren't there any well rounded people interested in finding someone to share life with, inclusive of bdsm?

If you are adventurous, you will find me interesting.  (Adventurous - Know yourself well enough that you can decide whether to follow my lead or run screaming.  I won't force it, much.  I won't push if the denial is clear.)

If you aren't adventurous, you will find me scary.  Do not pass go, start with someone who is also not adventurous and save my energy and your ego.

If all you seek is adventure, I will bore you.  I like intelligent conversation, finding humor in life, and horror of horrors, occasional cuddling with someone who I actually care for.  Lol, keeping in mind, the more I care, the more I want to make you sob for me.

I'm really interested in someone who can match me for wanting to really enjoy life and who is not so scared of me that they are frozen in place and does not try to cage me with their inexperience.  I've had a lot of experience with the inexperienced and it boils down to them being either balanced enough to know themselves and the chemistry working well enough that they were able to trust me enough to join me in pushing boundaries all around, or they were curious enough to at least try things before pissing themselves.  Is that you?

I'm finally starting to acclimate to being in school again.

I read something and it epitomizes my experience in the scene and online.  Edited a bit since it is not kink specific.

"Do you think dominants are just there for emotionless sex or as a training aid? Shut up and grow up. If you ever expect to find a dominant or even a serious partner then you need to realize that adult relationships involve a whole lot more than just sex, even great sex"

2014

Working, started school, lost a family member, too much snow.  Looking forward to spring, staying focused on my dominant intent to stay happy no matter what.

Perception is reality

I am finding more and more people who contact me assuming that if I'm not currently a pro-domme, I must have been one in the past.  No, so sorry but just as I am not equipped with the right mindset to be a hooker, I can't be a pro-domme.  Those professions fulfill flip sides of the intimacy portion of interaction.  That is private to me and only valuable as such.  I have no issue with people who visit either, totally not being pc here.  They serve a useful purpose in providing outlets for those in need, save some few women from being used, provide experience to those that don't want to or can't find play partners in the scene and probably somethings I haven't thought of because I don't spend much time thinking about it.

My experience has come from having long term relationships which have provided the depth and connection that allowed exploring interesting twists with a level of communication and honesty that made the adventures more than just play.

Having said that, I had originally planned to post about my fun activities this week.  I am beyond any doubt, not a ropesman.  Seriously, most of the time rope is a way to hold someone down for use.  The bondage part is as happily achieved with cuffs and chains.  But I have been hanging out with a friend who is a bondage lover and, as is usual with the type, escape artist.  It took me a few meeting but I finally started to remember my 'basics for dominants who don't give a damn about bondage'.  I won and so did he.

I also had fun with a prospective pet.  My friend into bondage has provided a nice anchor for reminding me that submissives really do still exist, but having someone that I had to take control of in real terms was very sweet.  While I do plan to see where it goes, I am breaking my habit of focusing on one person to the end.  He said the magic words about being fine if I had other pets.  Which I perceive as, and always will, I'm not willing to actually commit to anything real.  So I have let him know I will be doing just that, looking for a pet that really wants to be owned.

All in all November has been very pleasant, though chilly.

A new and cool example of fun.

http://www.bdsmstreak.com/video/12183/gloryhole-cbt-and-electro-torture

This is one example of why it is called safer sex.

People ask me why I come up with such cool uses for their cum, here is one very good reason.

This idea has been percolating since the end of May from a conversation I had with someone who frequents craigslist. Then, as seems to always be the case, it came up several more times. Almost everything I mention has been known for more than 30 years. It's too bad for all of us that the world is not a perfect place; we all have to deal with it.

From http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html

. The primary difference between the two viral types is in where they typically establish latency in the body- their "site of preference." HSV-1 usually establishes latency in the trigeminal ganglion, a collection of nerve cells near the ear. From there, it tends to recur on the lower lip or face. HSV-2 usually sets up residence in the sacral ganglion at the base of the spine. From there, it recurs in the genital area.

Even this difference is not absolute either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect oral and/or genital areas. Unfortunately, many people aren't aware of this, which contributes both to the spread of type 1 and to the misperception that the two types are fundamentally different.

"People don't understand that you can have type 1 genitally or orally, that the two types are essentially the same virus,' says Marshall Clover, manager of the National Herpes Hotline." One type is associated with stigma, the other is "'just a cold sore"- our society has a euphemism for it so we don't even have to acknowledge that it's herpes.''

One irony that continually strikes me and somewhat horrifies me is that people use condoms, but don't consider herpes; a very common sexually transmitted disease. Do you know that the infection can be in areas that the condom/dental dam does not cover?

How many of us use a dental dam to kiss until you both get tested for STD's, including herpes? Or more intelligently wait for the testing to do anything? It's just a cold sore, right? We all of course know that herpes can be active and invisible (it's called viral shedding) and on top of that the infected don't necessarily know they have it.  Not to mention the wonderful people in the world who just don't tell you and keep passing it on.

Do you trust that horny, complete stranger to tell you if they have hepatitis B which is passed on in saliva too? You don't need your liver and dialysis and drugs have to be kick ass fun.

Oral herpes (HSV-1) is contagious, active and invisible when it is in its viral shedding phase. Do you like kissing relatives and friends? How about kissing your daughter/son, cousin, nephew, friend, parent, random strangers, or your best target pregnant women (two for one with that).  How will they feel about you when they get an incurable disease? But it is okay, they probably won't know it was you.  A kiss on the eyelid and you could cause herpes in the eyes; blinded by love. You can find the list of damage online.

Don't you love the pretty girls and boys who give a peck on the lips every time they see friends, lovers, etc.? Isn't it interesting that that social butterfly could have just picked up herpes, or had it and now you have joined the club. Congratulations.

I ended up in a debate with a woman active in the swinging scene June 2013.  She very carefully warns her potential partners to be aware of STD’s.  She very carefully leaves out one point.  She is fairly sure she has herpes.  So as far as she is concerned, she has informed consent when they have sex with her.

Another interesting fact, herpes does not survive on a non-living surface so it is up to your friend, lover, pet, dominant, hookup, etc. to do you the kindness of passing it on to you.

Do you find that babe or dude hot, one of the triggers for a herpes outbreak is sexual excitement. How hot is that?

Do you love rimming? Wouldn't it be grand to get herpes in your ass or from someone’s ass? That is also called genital herpes. Even better, getting herpes from the ass, you then have the bonus of HSV-2, but on your mouth.

Herpes is mostly not tested for in general, let alone before the first kiss. And the minute you kiss someone else, you start the countdown clock for the infection and have to wait; months. If after testing and not including it in the battery, oral is performed, the herpes is spread to the genitals and it becomes genital herpes, but still HSV-1.

"About one-fifth of all people aged 12 and up in the U.S. are infected with the HSV-2 virus that causes genital herpes, but as many as 90% don't know it. (By comparison, experts estimate 50% to 80% of adults have oral herpes.)" from WebMD since I don't keep up on exact numbers. It is interesting that the statistics for herpes (HSV-2) and child molestation are about the same in Massachusetts.

The information that has not been around for more than a few years; they used to need you to be in the middle of an outbreak and they would pop the blister to see if it was herpes. Low symptom people went undiagnosed. Serologic, or blood, testing allows screening of individuals for infection with herpes simplex. The new tests for herpes, called type-specific serologic tests, distinguish between HSV-2 and HSV-1. These newer tests detect IgG antibodies directed against the cell wall protein specific for HSV-1 or HSV-2. Older serologic tests did not reliably distinguish between HSV-1 and HSV-2 and, as a result, were not a reliable way to make a diagnosis of genital herpes. But keep an eye out, false positives do happen.  The old way of going in within 24 hours of noticing a blister is still the best test.

-Special news just for all those who love to suck toes-

Herpes whitlow (herpetic whitlow) is a painful infection that typically affects the fingers or thumbs. Occasionally it occurs on the toes or on the nail cuticle. Herpes whitlow can be caused by infection by HSV-1 or HSV-2. HSV-1 whitlow is often contracted by health care workers who come in contact with the virus. It is most commonly contracted by dental workers and medical workers exposed to oral secretions. It is also often observed in thumb-sucking children with primary HSV-1 oral infection (autoinoculation) prior to seroconversion, and in adults aged 20 to 30 following contact with HSV-2-infected genitals.

Symptoms of herpetic whitlow include swelling, reddening and tenderness of the skin of infected finger. This may be accompanied by fever and swollen lymph nodes. Small, clear vesicles initially form individually, then merge and become cloudy. Associated pain often seems large relative to the physical symptoms. The herpes whitlow lesion usually heals in two to three weeks.

No, I never had a cold sore and I don't have herpes.  I always include the HSV-1 and HSV-2 tests in my testing since it became available.

This is so far the best explanation of the process and pieces of submission I have read.  With the permission of the author, I'm posting it.  Link to the authors profile zioneye is:   http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/294665/details.htm

I work as a cook (which I love) but part of my job is serving customers (which I used to hate). The only part about serving customers I liked was that it gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of hot women. I was only nice to hot women and I would bend over backward trying to cater to their wants and needs. To everybody else I was indifferent or flat out rude. I didn't mean to be rude, it's just that I hated having to serve people and it brought out the worst in me. After a time it started to bother me though. I would feel guilty about the pampering treatment I would give to the women I was attracted to (whether they appreciated it or not) and the contempt I held for people that I was not aroused by. I realized that acting like an asshole is the same thing as being one, and so I decided to try and change. 

I started to give everybody the same type of service once reserved for only boner inducing women. It turned out to be easier than I thought. For the most part I found that the majority of people were so grateful to be catered to that I actually began to enjoy serving just to make people happy. The only problem was that there were still that small percentage of complete asshole customers that could easily turn my mood sour and I would for a time go back to being rude to people after an unpleasant encounter. On one hand I knew that you just can't please everyone and some people are never pleased anyway, but on the other hand it still bothered me that these very few people could so easily ruin my day. 

I started to identify the most difficult customers, and think about what exactly it was they were doing that I was unable to deal with. I found that their most common trait was that they demanded things rather than ask for them, and that my difficulty in serving them was just my hurt feelings for being ordered about and treated poorly. I decided to take my ego out of the equation and to just do my best to meet their demands and then let it go if they were still rude and ungrateful to me. That sort of worked, it was really hard to swallow my ego, especially when my ego had started to swell from all the praise and appreciation I was receiving from all the customers who enjoyed my service. 

Then one day a man walked in and I already knew exactly what he was going to say because I'd been mocking him to my coworkers for weeks...  "I want this and I want that and not too much of this and more of that"

The guy just made me want to punch him in the face rather than make him something to eat, but for some reason that day I decided to beat him to the punch. Instead of dreading the moment he started demanding me. I offered right off to run fetch all the difficult things I knew he wanted, and for the first time he smiled and said thank you. I began trying that tactic with the rest of the difficult people and one after another they stopped being nasty and demanding and began glowing with gratitude every time I served them.

Since then I've really begun to love serving people and I enjoy rising to the occasion when someone particularly demanding comes my way. It brings the best out of me and keeps me sharp and honest and reminds me that I can always do better.

So... um... why did I just write all that?  Oh yes hot women!

After all this time serving people in general, I've come to wish to find a woman to serve in a more formal and personal manner. I want to find someone to pamper and treat like a queen. Someone I can get to know and anticipate her wants and deliver them without her even needing to ask. I used to want to find a dominant woman because I wanted to experience all the kinky things I'd been fantasizing about my whole life, but somewhere along the way during this process of learning to serve others (and realizing that it was all fueled by my desire to please women that led me to it). I have come to not care whether we do anything kinky or not. I'll leave that up to her if we do. I'd just like to be allowed serve her and and see her happy and satisfied.  Hopefully I'll find her.

And from his journal: 

I feel I have a lot give. I’m not submissive because I think that I have less talent or abilities than other people. I just realize that my best talents, and my strongest abilities, lie in areas of support rather than the lead. In fact I can be far more effective if my tasks are laid out for me, and expectations are assessed to them. I think too much, I am able to imagine too many possibilities, and I need someone, to help set and define which problems, or projects that I’ll be working on or concentrating on for the time being.

http://www.spikednation.com/content/weekly-image-gallery-11102012

Tease and denial, ruined orgasm and exactly what a man should sound like all the time.  http://xhamster.com/movies/250582/amber_rayne_psycho_handjob.html  I got this surfing profiles and may be adding credit for the finder if he so wishes. 

I posted a story a while back about someone I met and played with in an office park.  Not really play, we just talked and I scratched him as we talked.  Nothing more.  When I unzipped his pants, he came.  So, someone sent me a link that is similar in general method and had the same result.  http://xhamster.com/movies/958163/ruined_under_her_heels_in_chastity.html

 

Okay, super tired, so deal.

To all the dominants that read my proifle and journal, if you use my ideas you should credit me. Thank you for your patronage, please tip the waitstaff appropriately.

To the subs that are using it for wank fodder, please remember that my pets either freeze or eat their cum. Recycling is all of our responsibility.

When you shove corn up his or her hole, add a sticky that says, "JJ was here"

When you make a cum popscicle, add a stick and write on it "JJ, so cool"

When you send your date to the bathroom to make 'special' salad dressing, when they return a bowed head and 'Thank you JJ' would be good.

Feel free to improvise.

If ayone knows the name of the endlessly hot bottom in the Carmen video link, I'd love to know it. She's with someone else now so he is out there. If you had a name and contact info, I'd buy you dinner. I can't afford Capital Grille, but something mid range I can totally do.

LOL and I didn't even use liquor or drugs to get this high, just spent the whole day talking about pain.

Kthxbye
So you’ve decided to contact me, or more rarely, I contacted you AFTER READING YOUR PROFILE COMPLETELY; ALONG WITH YOUR JOURNAL IF YOU HAVE ONE. 

Did you do the common sense, courteous, intelligent thing and, at minimum, READ MY PROFILE before writing to me, probably not? 

When you tell me you want advice. I know that you think I am a charity and have no job, no life and endless goodwill. You’re wrong. Kthxbye 

When you tell me you want online anything. I know that you think I am your virtual sex assistant, unpaid of course. You’re wrong. Kthxbye 

When you tell me you need time to get x, y or z together before we can meet; why bother me. Go do it and pretend I don’t exist until you get your personal shit together. Kthxbye

  When you contact me even though you are losing your hair/overweight, I know that you did one of two things. You decided that what I need is not important, or you didn’t read my profile. Kthxbye 

When you contact me and you don’t want/need control, pain and sex with ONE dominant long term. You think I am your blow up domme aka mindless hole. Kthxbye 

When you are so eager to serve, but not obey, you are not capable of being my pet. Kthxbye 

When you just want to lick some part of me forever, you make me quake and shiver; in absolute disgust. Kthybye 

If you scare easily, my casual talk on how to protect yourself when meeting strangers will make you piss yourself. You actually then want what I will do in person? Really? Excellent, if you also fit what I seek.

 

New fun stuff 

On this one, I'd be the dominant.  So don't even think I come close to switching.  Except I'm not lost enough to spit on my own arm.  http://www.xvideos.com/video197805/anal_expedition_part_1#_tabFavs  Seriously, this is fun, but not practical.  I am super aware of STD's.  If I slutted around like this or had a pet that did, at minimum herpes would be an almost certain result.  Not something I want.  I like the action and it is a way of being not the multiple participants that I am enjoying.

On this one that was sent to me today from a little boy in Thailand, so hot.  http://www.bdsmstreak.com/video/5993/cock-sounding-cbt-homemade

Something I forget because to me it is just normal.

I have never had a mainstream only relationship.  I am me.  Anyone that dated me, male or female, got me.  I took control, I took them where I wanted to go, how I wanted to go. 

The only time I had trouble was when I got involved with the scene.  The terms that mess people up.  The rules that have nothing to do with just being humans that connect, talk and build trust. 

Guess what, when I didn't say I was a dominant, I dominated.  When I spanked and then whipped someone, I didn't say I was a sadist.  I just was.

When I wanted to fuck someone's ass, I went to the fridge and found a carrot, zucchini, cucumber, candles, small bottles, whatever; then gleefully shoved it up their ass or pussy.  Works. 

When I wanted to spit in someone's mouth, I grabbed their hair and gave them all the time in the world to realize what I was about to do.  Hmmm, will the consent police be at my door any minute?

My advice to you and to remind me is, just live your damn life.

I've set a deadline for myself.  If I don't find anyone I want by then, I will focus on just meeting people and being me.  Screw this crap.

2-14 *135, 38DDD/E-30-38  Current - 4-28-13 169, 5-5-13 168, 5-12-13 167, 5-19-13 166, 5-26-13 165, 6-1-13 Sick.  If you ever end up in the hospital, ask nicely about seasonal stuff.  I scored juicy fresh strawberries and always got two cups of green tea at a time.  Sucks for weight loss.  I do recomment the baked haddock, but not the greek salads.  6-14-13 170, 6-21-13 170, 6-28-13 169, 7-5-13 168, 7-12-13 168, 7-19-13  167, 7-26-13 167,

CATFISH - Something they should do on Collarme. I'll add to this as interesting stories come up.

The main theme is lying scumbags online who mislead people so they can boost their pathetic low life self esteem at the expense of another. Sickening. The other being those who make promises/commitments and then break them by cheating. Sickening and should be punishable with castration.

OMG, female and her male cousin create a fake male so she can supposedly help her friend get confidence. Phone sex, engagement, reminds me of online, except this story is about someone trying to help. In a clearly dysfunctional, twisted but effective way in the end.

I wonder how the fin dommes and the atm's would check out. It's not like the scam seems to require much. Steal pictures from someone attractive and somewhat prolific in posting pictures, but is not famous. Then whine about your bills and looks for suckers. Or brag about your manision and then wank when you get someone willing to talk to you. Eww.

SAME LOVE
Macklemore & Mary Lambert

When I was in the 3rd grade
I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw, my uncle was
And I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She's like, Ben you've loved girls since before pre-K
Tripping yeah
I guess she had a point, didn't she
A bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math like
Yeah, I'm good at little league
A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant
For those that like the same sex had the characteristics
The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made, rewiring of a pre-disposition
Playing God
Ahh nah, here we go
America the brave
Still fears what we don't know
And 'God loves all his children' is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written
3,500 years ago
I don't know

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm [x4]

If I was gay
I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
"Man that's gay"
Gets dropped on the daily
We've become so numb to what we're saying
Our culture founded from oppression
Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots
Behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate
Yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color
Complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk-outs and sit-ins
Human rights for everybody
There is no difference
Live on! And be yourself!
When I was in church
They taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service
Those words aren't anointed
And that Holy Water
That you soak in
Is then poisoned
When everyone else
Is more comfortable
Remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans
That have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same
But that's not important
No freedom til we're equal
Damn right I support it

I don't know

We press play
Don't press pause
Progress, march on!
With a veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
'Till the day
That my uncles can be united by law
Kids are walkin' around the hallway
Plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful
Some would rather die
Than be who they are
And a certificate on paper
Isn't gonna solve it all
But it's a damn good place to start
No law's gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever god you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it's all the same love
About time that we raised up

Love is patient, love is kind
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)

This is so gay, in all the best ways. I'm not gay, I'm bi, but the lyrics work for me.

 

I discovered something new today and I have been laughing my butt off.
I seriously don't put much effort into learning the labels that are applied to BDSM stuff. Being around long enough and one gets educated by osmosis and trial and error. Not that I haven't gone to a few classes, I do recommend them. So today's term, ruined orgasm.
LOL. Oh my god, I've been doing it wrong. LOL. Long ago and not so far away, I met a masochistic submissive who asked me to ruin his orgasm. So I did. It did not feel anywhere near as good as what I just found out is the industry standard. LOL. And I used tools. LOL. I did it many times over years and he never said a word. He just let me do what I wanted to ruin his orgasm.
On the tease and denial front, why bother to tease someone unless you can bring them to tears, begging and sobbing? Who is turned off by a man or woman whimpering?
When he did the little spurt thing and stayed hard, I just counted it as a lucky thing I could keep on teasing and I'd be more careful to keep it from happening during the rest of the time. LOL.  I wonder if that means fireplay isn't when you stick a candle up a pets as lit end first, lololol.
I've updated my memory and will keep it in mind when I need a laugh.
Since it's in the same vein and really good, a video link one of the pretty toys on cm sent me. So hot. http://xhamster.com/movies/2003824/chastity_vibrations.html

If you need a laugh, you have to read this.  The second one is the best so far, but there are pages of it and I am working my way through it. http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK    On a kinky note, I do believe this would make most people beg very sincerely.  I need to go shoppipng.

Hyperbole, a day at a pool aka putting your money where your mouth is
I love the word hyperbole; the sound. Even when people mispronounce it, it evokes amusing images.
I hate what it means and how so many people use it because they never will be, or do, what they say.
"I would die for you" I met a man who would say that to me. It was so easy to discount that as hyperbole, but a pool party provided an amazing experience.
I told him while we stood at the edge of the pool, "I'm going to drown you and you are not going to fight me." Then I pushed him in.
Over the next period of time, I held on to the edge of the pool and pushed him under and held him down. The first few times; he reached the end of his air and struggled the tiniest bit. I waited a few seconds more and released the pressure and he came up for air. This continued for quite a while, but after the first few times he didn't struggle.
He got more and more tired, then exhausted. Finally, when I released him, his arms and legs were too tired and though struggling weakly he couldn't get back up. I pulled him up, let him breathe and pushed him down again. Two more rounds of having to pull him up and I was done.
I pulled him up and to the edge of the pool and he got his breath back. A couple of men from the party came over and helped him out and to a lounger. That is how I knew he was mine and meant what he said. He was my slave a total of 9 years. He died. No I didn't kill him.
I am not SSC. I am mostly RACK, read my post on it to see where I diverge/disagree.
Things I knew prior to that experience:
-He was in general good/excellent health
-He had no health or phobias that would be triggered by this.
-He had not eaten anything in the previous hour or so that he might vomit up and choke.
-We had a crowd of kinky people, some of whom were watching what we did pretty intently.
-This was not prearranged, nor discussed with him or anyone else. It was in the moment, but I do think before adventures on or over the edge. Note this is a difference between life and scening.
This memory was evoked talking to the typical 'slave' type who started out with 'I am whatever you want me to be' and then when talking brought up SSC:
Safe - I am not safe. Safe is online hyperbole and fantasies. I am not interested in online except for information. I am aware of and assess risk.
Consensuality - at my level it's consensual non-consensuality. When enough trust is built on each side, a commitment is made/sought that I am in control. If not, we won't fit. If you offer it up front, you are a liar or a fool and useless to me. He could have swum away, pushed me off or just said no. He chose to submit and trust.
Sane - Well, that is what this story may help decide. If it is insane to you then so am I.

STABLE - I DON'T HAVE ONE.  For some reason, projecting or what, I get these emails about joining my stable.  I decided to edit this.  If I win the lottery all bets are off. 

If I did have a stable, it would be a reverse harem made up of little boys and girls 25-30. All open sexually, all there for sybaritic, obscenely twisted sexual escapades to keep me entertained, oh and they make obscene amounts of money that they can't wait to hand over. Because what the hell would I do with them otherwise? And of course, all completely, unrestrainedly, devoted and in love only with me. Throw in brain washing to make them suicidal without me and we have a nice Stepford deal. So my theoretical application for my imaginary stable would require that each person look up the life insurance table for height and weight. Each person would need to be on the bottom of the weight scale for their height. If toned and at the bottom of the lower weight limit, with an IQ of 140 minimum, a 4 year minimum degree, insanely masochistic, a full head of super straight and silky hair and clinically diagnosed nymphomania those people would be given priority. Add a tongue piercing, not replace add, to the list and that gets an automatic acceptance to a life of performing the most deviant sexual acts I can think up or discover so that I can laugh at the irony that is my life. Add in submission and I might even care.

There, that is my non-existent stable. Good for you all? Good, now get a freaking clue. I am a dominant, sadist that is looking for one person to reciprocally fulfill. I'll think about empire building after I get my entirely earned Goddesshood conferred upon me by the BDSM deity that keeps making all these other women Goddess x, y or z.  I was in such a good mood until the gazillionth time someone told me I had a stable they wanted to join. I got to wear my brand new boots and have a nice dinner with a nice sub who may make a good friend and then I came online. I'm going to bed.  I'm leaving this up, it shows what goes through my mind when people project what they want to see onto me and it's ridiculous so you know, I really do laugh at myself.  Intelligently proactive is the opposite of projecting your wishes in a nuance kind of way.

Rules for slaves - this is only a partial list

Expectations for subs/slaves and me.
Slave rules - for subs not all of this applies. Or another way to look at it is that it in introduced over time and level of commitment.
A partial list of my rules and expectations. The rules are subject to the specific people involved and realistic revision upon my determination that it is needed. It is partial because, as the interaction evolves, so do the rules. The expectations are not subject to revision, but are open for clarification. Rules for slaves - this is only a partial list.
1. No orgasm without permission.  Revision - I keep forgetting this until talking to someone.  My pet will be in chastity, except when I want him/her.
2. Daily contact, until/unless living in the same household.
3. No involvement with anyone else for romantic or physical liaisons (online involvement for either of these is included in the prohibition).
4. Ask permission before buying new clothes or changing your appearance.
5. When you wake up, you kneel, knees spread, hands on knees and masturbate without cumming while repeating out loud at least 5 times ‘I belong to J’.
6. Night time ritual, same but may or may not be allowed to cum. If allowed to cum, when orgasming you say, “I am cumming for you, J”. Depending on timing and circumstance, I will be there. If not, you will perform via cam or phone. This has nothing to do with online play. Before and again while masturbating, you kneel, knees spread, hands on knees and say “J loves when I freely offer my submission. I know things she enjoys, things she admires, and the things that make her most proud. Those are the things that I try to do the most often; I try hard to learn more things to make J proud and to please her, as well."
7. Always kneeling when speaking to me in person. (This doesn’t apply in public, unless I specifically say so.)
8. A text to my yahoo when you leave home (prior to living with me) and when you leave work.
9. Crawl, don’t walk. Exceptions, in the middle of cooking, serving something that has to be held or where common sense indicates, walking is allowed. (This doesn’t apply to public).  This one is subject to physical limitations and definitely realitic limitations. 
10. Open all doors for me.
11. Green tea available for me to drink.
12. Ladies Maid service will be expected. You will learn how to groom me appropriately.
13. Men, always clean shaven on the face. Other area’s, are dependent on me, but generally smooth below the neck for male or female.
14. You must be intelligently proactive.
15. When possible, be at the door to greet me on your knees, nude with knees apart, hands on knees. I will let you know within a half hour of when to expect me, at most. If strap on is part of our relationship, wear a plug while waiting. Enemas are done upon coming home. Strap on is part of my pets life unless health issues interfere.
16. Household chores are handled by the sub/slave. Slave is always paying attention to if things are in order around the house and tidies as he/she goes along.
17. Always nude at home.
18. Not allowed to close any door to any room you occupy, including the bathroom.
Expectations for sub/slaves and myself
1. Communication. Ask if something doesn't make sense. Tell if something is causing an issue. But don't question everything I ask, just to question.
2. Attempt perfect obedience. I say attempt because, realistically, I may ask you to do something unaware that there is some constraint that makes it impractical or undoable. Exception, sometimes I want to challenge you, sometimes I will set a task that is, or seems undoable. At that point your judgment, trust and sense of adventure get a workout.
3. A real connection. I am not interested in being a mentor. I am not interested in training someone who has an expectation that they will use me to gain experience for another dominant. If things don't work out, they don't.
4. You need to be open to exploring new ideas, sensations and mindsets, with me. Don't just say no automatically. Since a submissive has limits, I have to respect those limits. If there are too many, it makes me lose interest. A slave is required to be open.
5. Commitment to me. This ties into 3, but is important enough to have its’ own mention. Don't play games or play this as a game. Really commit to allowing yourself to be part of the process and interaction with me, not with me as "Mistress fill in the blank" If you want that, really, it is more decent of you to pay a professional to role play with you or to fill that role without any need for emotional connection on her part. This is my life, not a job, hobby or avocation.
6. Intelligently proactive. If you have learned something from experience that common sense says will be positive to do, don't always wait to be told. If something seems like it would be pleasant, consider me in that picture and decide whether the risk is worth the reward.
7. Trust me. Trust takes time. But to start, you have to allow a certain amount of blind trust and build on it. You also have to trust in your instincts. If it feels wrong, back to communication, say so. One thing I am responsible for is in providing a structure that you can trust and being a person you can trust to be there for you.
8. Open sexually. If you are too inhibited, I'll get bored. Being straight isn't an issue for a submissive, it is not a choice allowed a slave. Not being willing to kiss, perform oral, rimming, anal, strap on or intercourse would be a problem. From there, there are other things that I include as sexual, but are open to discussion. Only a slut for me or at my direction.
9. Respect and loyalty for each other. This is essential. I respect you as a person and that you are doing something important for me. I value that. You respect me as a person and that I am doing something important for you. I will stand up for my submissive/slave, I expect the same. Not stupidity. If you did or said something that was patently wrong to someone, I'd pull you aside and inform you of it. I expect the same. If someone insulted you, I'd stand up for you, I expect the same.

I have an almost serious, practically life threatening and totally mind numbing problem. I have more than 4 large closets full of clothes and I need to get rid of at least 2.5 to 3 of them. I just bought some really cool outfits.

All the people I know well, that could help me, are in California; except my friend in Texas who is totally the best gay man for fashion.  But webcams don't work for this type of thing.

Is there anyone out there with superb taste, near me, that just loves going through endless clothes and debating their merit? If so, I will be testing that before exposing myself, lol.

An excellent visual of a pet.  Hopefully it's the same photo for a long time.  The image is from a site called captivemale and the profile below added just the right caption.  http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/1622447/details.htm

Mood, very happy. I had a slave teach me something and I am feeling so free from a cage I didn't realize I had built.

Dark Side - Kelly Clarkson

Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond
From black dust
It's hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don't give up on me
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? ohh

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away
Don't run away
Promise you'll stay

KELLY CLARKSON lyrics are property and copyright of their owners.
"Dark Side" lyrics provided for educational purposes and personal use only.
Copyright © 2000-2013 AZLyrics.com

I got a wake up call last night, much to my horror.  I spent the rest of the night and most of today thinking about how I have let puppets train me in submitting. No more.

If you contact me, use common courtesy.  Start with Hello JJ, Hi JJ. If I see the word goddess, mistress, ma'am, miss or any of the idiotic labels that morons feel the need for, I will just delete the email.  If you don't fit what my profile describes and/or do not tell me exactly why you think you fit me, what your experience in bdsm is, what your expectations with me are and INCLUDE a clean, clear, face photo, I will delete the email.  If you tell me one limit over what I list in my profile, I will delete you, or stop talking to you.  I'll update this if I discover any more rot in my brain.

For the visually inclined and to clarify what I like and do, a list of some videos that show some of it. If it is on my checklist and not shown here, you'll have to rely on your own resources.

This one, I'd say is romantic, it is great except the dildo is so small it is imaginary. It has hair pulling and anything that has that has me smiling. Very pretty ending. http://xhamster.com/movies/1883222/strapon_fucking_my_boy_please_comment.html

While I'm fine starting there, it would move up to here. http://xhamster.com/movies/1555288/shower_strapon.html and then here http://xhamster.com/movies/351766/huge_strap_on.html maybe here http://xhamster.com/movies/156932/fisting.html

Good sex here, http://xhamster.com/movies/1834235/noomi_rapace_daisy_diamond_scene.html and on both sides here http://xhamster.com/movies/629974/daisy_diamond_strap_on_scene.html

For pain, my favorite is http://xhamster.com/movies/955882/prisoner_of_the_cruel_mistress.html followed by this because of his reactions and sounds. http://xhamster.com/movies/875055/whipping_torture.html

Dominance is just hinted at on film. I've only seen pieces of movies that had the feel right. So for the submissive aspect you'll just have to use your imagination and hopefully your mind.  A blog I found that I mostly agree with:   http://www.withinreality.com/typical.html

Today was exhausting, but interesting.

I found out that deciding to continue to play while talking to a company about an issue, is very entertaining. I hope she doesn't get fired since they record them. I did take the time to feel out her reactions a bit at a time, so that I was not rudely dragging in a bystander who might be unwilling or feel intruded upon.

I just wanted to see if I could make the boy blush since he promised he could. So mean, no blush. But he moaned and reacted very pleasantly for both of us.

I wonder a bit if she was just keeping us on the phone, it shouldn't take 45 minutes to reset a password. But she was great to talk to and jumped right into the spirit of the game.

I left the lube downstairs and had the boy grab a small bottle of oil I had and discovered that it was too thick. She suggested that next time I try apricot oil. I will try it.

We both laughed when she said "I hope your scene continues to go well". The world is full of kinky people. I am very glad.

I think I found a new variation on consensual non-consent, tame but fun.

I guess I get to start a list, only the complete fakes.  Assholes just get mentioned in among hopefully interesting commentary.  mattfromthesmoke a complete fake.  http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/1716842/details.htm 

I expect that he will change to a new profile and just do it again, but you can always use my tips to check in general.

If you want to test him, get his landline and at least two email addresses.  He will happily give you his cell.  When he gets into how much he wants to be vulnerable and begs you to take email addresses, email them.

He will try to get you to do a threeway IM so he can roleplay.  I've been contacted by the same endless stream of random abusers, wankers, online players and outright liars, with an occasional encounter with someone who might fit what I need.  I don't bother to name them, they're endless.  I've named two profiles, so far, in individual posts.  This one and one where the woman contacting me wanted me to beat her until she lost her 6 or 7 month old fetus.  Both of these people deserve to be known as what they are.

I need to re-post this since I mention it in my profile and because I am getting a lot of contact from people and all they want is either permanent chastity or castration.  The part that makes me so annoyed is a good percentage of them also want monogamy with their asexuality.  Do you want a side of fries with that?  Excuse me, but first, I'm greedy I use all parts of my pet.  Secondly, I like chastity as a tool for the torture aspect mostly with the control being a nice aphrodisiac and motivator.  Finally, if I choose to forego the use of a penis permanently, it would be because I've got a female pet.  Feel free to be as asexual as you want/need.  I'll join you when I'm dead.  Having said that, I hope this is somewhat entertaining and informative of my thinking.  

I just realized that I left out something because I'm so used to it.  I do like to lock up my pet when not in use.  That's not chastity, that is possession.

My friend Chastity and I.

I met Chastity many years ago.  We instantly hit it off.  We loved to torture people.  We were both very twisted and loved the overt and subtle.  But Chastity proved to be limited.  I find her a disappointment.

Chastity doesn't let you explode in orgasm.
Chastity has no real sense of humor.
Chastity can lead to cancer.

So we visit, but we decided acquaintanceship is better.

I take my pet and fuck until we can't walk.
I take my pet and make love until dawn.
I take my pet to the point where jerking off is work because there's not enough fluid to spare.
I take my pet and save that cum, vaginal can be a bitch, but it is still doable.

Then we go visit Chastity.  She is very happy to see us.  My pet is suspicious at first, but Chastity is fun, right?

Well, she is to me.
She takes my pet over and stops all that messy cumming.
She keeps arousal to a painful minimum.
She proceeds to show what happens when you go from 60 to zero.
The un-satiated arousal.
The deprivation and mental torment.
The need to cum replacing wanting to cum.
The wet/erotic dreams.
Then the wind down as the body says enough.  I don't care about cumming.
The sigh of relief.  Chastity hates the sigh of relief.  I think it's a howl.

I pretty much go along for the ride when Chastity takes control.  I spend my time laughing, getting lots of oral, submission and stuff.
I like to talk.  I know it's not obvious to anyone reading my writing.  I enjoy talking when Chastity has control.  It is one of the times when I think phone sex, dirty talk, erotic stories, etc., really come into their own.  Of course, I have to admit to being a bit of a sadist.  I am so ashamed (total bullshit), but I give in to the impulse to pet, stroke, lick, nibble and bite more.  Something about Chastity being in the house just does it for me. 

All good things must come to an end.  When the sighs of relief reach my psyche, I know I have to send Chastity packing.

It's my turn again, chastity gets locked up and ...

I take my pet and fuck until we can't walk.
I take my pet and make love until dawn.
I take my pet to the point where jerking off is work because there's not enough fluid to spare.
I take my pet and save that cum, vaginal can be a bitch, but it is still doable.

PS, this journal is an example of what happens when I run out of cigarettes and can't exhaust myself with sex.  I start thinking I'm funny.
 

I've been informed by a person on CM that I ramble.  Lol, yup.  It's all my third grade teachers fault, she ruined me for life.  My writing used to be clear, clean and bare bones.  She made me add detail and now I can't stop.  Since I don't write anything but business proposals for work, I'm not caring much, but it is funny. 

For those who like my ramblings, I have a profile on F--life with the same ID and additional things I wrote about.  Yes, F--life is cliquish, but if it is helpful, I'm not.

I talked to someone recently.  He fit pretty much everything I was looking for, but he was all offended when I said I might like to see him suck cock for entertainment and humiliation.  I have decided that I am going to be morally outraged at that and here's why:

  1. He's done it before.  Even being a bottom for anal sex with a guy.
  2. He liked it.
  3. He has no medical reason to prevent it.
  4. I'm the dominant and he said he was a slave.

Slaves are not allowed near me with lists of demands or limits, especially spurious ones.

 

I've been informed by a person on CM that I ramble.  Lol, yup.  It's all my third grade teachers fault, she ruined me for life.  My writing used to be clear, clean and bare bones.  She made me add detail and now I can't stop.  Since I don't write anything but business proposals for work, I'm not caring much, but it is funny. 

For those who like my ramblings, I have a profile on with the same ID and additional things I wrote about.  Yes, is cliquish, but if it is helpful, I'm not.

I talked to someone recently.  He fit pretty much everything I was looking for, but he was all offended when I said I might like to see him suck cock for entertainment and humiliation.  I have decided that I am going to be morally outraged at that and here's why:

  1. He's done it before.  Even being a bottom for anal sex with a guy.
  2. He liked it.
  3. He has no medical reason to prevent it.
  4. I'm the dominant and he said he was a slave.

Slaves are not allowed near me with lists of demands or limits, especially spurious ones.

 

The pain is killing me, guilt and irony. My inclusion of the physical characteristics I find attractive has rebounded in a very poetic way. Now, a large percentage of the people who contact me include some kind of apology for their looks not measuring up. This then generates a layer of distaste in dealing with another pile of self-esteem issues. I never apologized to anyone for my looks, they just are and they work for the person I'm with or we're not together. I'm a little above average on my best day and that's it.

In my teens and 20's, I dated people of all kinds, including some of the most insanely beautiful men and one woman. One that epitomized perfection was the most beautiful 22 year old boy I had/have ever seen, from a French speaking country, perfect, smooth cafe au lait skin from head to toe. He only had to shave once every several days and most of the rest of his skin was smooth, except crotch and legs. His hair was silky smooth and so dark a brown it looked black unless he was in full sun. In full sun his hair blazed with natural highlights. He had voluptuous lips that I wanted to spend days exploring. He had a completely toned 6' frame, he was funny, he majored in Theoretical Math which was a huge factor for me and he was submissive. I confirmed long ago that if someone is attracted to me, they are submissive at some level.

And when I kissed him, it felt like kissing my brother; null with a kind of nasty feeling of 'wrong'. It is the only time in my life that I said 'let's be friends' to someone I dated and meant it. What I learned from that was that I valued mind over matter, but I didn't discount matter as valueless. I also learned that until you spend time with someone, there is no way to know if it can work, regardless of everything else.

In my 30's, I dated two women that were truly beautiful and lesbian. One was very brief and the other lasted about 6 months. My scene 'friends' made sure to ask me why a woman so incredible was with me, deepening my feelings toward the scene and scene people. Neither of them worked out.

My partner for 9 years was a little above average looking with a full head of hair, slim, tall, very intelligent, very submissive, very masochistic and willing to follow me to hell if I chose to take us there. If he hadn't died, I would never have looked at another person, except for potential short term side trips into adventures with him participating; very rare and only for specific twists. Mainly it was one on one with no need for anyone else.

I do appreciate looks; I don't look for perfect, but wouldn't reject it if it wandered my way. Honestly, if someone exceptional does approach me at my age, they raise a red flag and so far, that's proved accurate. As far as I'm concerned, I seek out what attracts me (all of it, brains, looks, body, mindset, interests) and don't push in if there is no interest. I don't try to change people’s minds, or try to convince them that their preferences have no value. Straightforward, no bullshit, just me and what I wish others would do/consider when contacting me.

 

I once 'buried the rail' of a yacht in San Francisco bay. What I learned.

I can get sunburn on my ears and it sucks.

It is good when the dom and the captain are different people. The dom let me. The captain was pissed. I played with her breasts later and she didn't seem so pissed anymore. So sex will overcome common sense. After all, who lets someone bury the rail of a boat worth many hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Sailing is only fun in the tropics.

Aside from that, sailing is pretty boring.

Maybe if it was a tropical scuba expedition it would be fun. Maybe not.

Meaningless musing because I pulled an allnighter last night for work and my sleep is all screwed up.

To all the people who keep asking; including the moron below. No, I'm not a pro domme. If you feel an urge to send me money, feel free. If you feel like you might fit my needs, read the damn profile and do as I ask. If you think I wrote out what I am looking for just for the exercise, go away.

From: KnowSUBstitute Dated: 4/14/13 8:59 PM

Are you a pro dummy, ah pro domme?

Spring has sprung.

I have the guy that wants to pay me to watch him be fucked by a dog. Does that count as humiliation or being omni-sexual? Which, lol.

6 guys in the last three weeks want to hire me. Which, lol.

The 3 guys who want me to do something for some fetish. Which, lol.

Too many to count guys who send obnoxious emalis. I was talking to someone and when she said creepy, I realized that these are the people who live next door, our lawyers, doctors, and all the people around us. This is their only outlet. How sad is that.

Finally, 4 guys who want me to scene with them. Do I have to say it? Although I'll consider that one if they are in Europe or Asia and fly me out, pay for a hotel and say the magic words, no limits. LOL.

 

From:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM - because it is a great explanation and icon of what I have always believed.  I'm referring to the above symbol, not the full Wiki.  

I'm a blend of RACK and SSC.  But for anyone who is timid, just consider me RACK.

""Safe, sane and consensual", commonly abbreviated as "SSC", which means that everything is based on safe activities, (I don't agree with the area I underscored, there is always a real risk, physical, mental and emotional, even in mainstream relationships.  I also think that the intent of that statement has been perverted by those trying to mainstream bdsm for their own agenda's, but that's my potentially, even probably, biased mindsetI see it as, safe in being able to trust the dominant to have the submissive/slave's well being as part of their mindset and on the part of the submissive/slave, sane being not to do something with that person until you do trust them.) that all participants be of sufficiently sound/sane mind to consent, and that all participants do consent.[4]

It is mutual consent which makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault or domestic violence

.[5]

"I do agree with the sane and consensual part, with the addendum that consensual non-consensuality can be part of it."

""Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being.  (I don't agree with the preceding.  If I am dominating someone, I have the majority of the responsibility, not all, but a lot.  I tend to think that that is just common sense, but that's my opinion.) Advocates of RACK argue that SSC can hamper discussion of risk because no activity is truly "safe", and that discussion of even low-risk possibilities is necessary for truly informed consent. Further, they argue that setting a discrete line between "safe" and "not-safe" activities ideologically denies consenting adults the right to and that some adults will be drawn to certain activities regardless of the risk), and that BDSM play – particularly higher-risk play or edgeplay – should be treated with the same regard as extreme sports; with both respect and the demand that practitioners educate themselves and practice to decrease risk. RACK may be seen as focusing primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices.[6]

Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safeword will be used, what that is, and so on.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is occasionally summarized in a written "contract

"; an agreement of what can and cannot take place.[7]

"Back to consensual non-consensuality, aka slave or even submissive.  Which means that with trust, I'm not going to be explaining or outlining what I do.  If someone doesn't trust me, they should not be allowing me to do anything.  If I'm playing on an edge, I do make the pet learn and understand the risks aka risk aware.  Lol, I do that just in conversation getting to know them.  Common courtesy.  Recently, about half of them whine about learning and the other half whine as if I'm a serial killer and as if I didn't just tell them that there is risk.  Courtesy and consideration do carry penalties it seems. 

More Labels

Slave - If someone is a slave, they are committed to consensual non-consensuality.  If not, they are not a slave.  Released only upon my death or theirs  (I'm sure there is an exception somewhere, I just haven't encountered it yet.).  Limits for slaves are set by the owner, not the slave; otherwise what's the point.  Someone claiming to be a slave and saying they were released because of work on either side, for example, was either not a slave or didn't have an owner.  They were just submissive to a dominant and things didn't grow to the full level of master/slave, or they're clueless.  I always start with submission.  No sane person takes on someone as a slave without finding out if that person will be a good slave for them.  No sane person hands their life over to a stranger.

I've found most that contact me and claim to be slaves have been reading too much crap, spout garbage at me about pretty much everything and very rarely are those who have experienced BDSM slavery.  I have encountered a few, less than 5 out of all the people claiming to be slaves that contacted me. 

Real slaves are people who have been taken against their will (not consensual or even consensual non-consensuality), are abused, used up and their lives are a living hell that usually ends with an early death.  They are not BDSM slaves.  They are not people on sites like this, unless the world has gone insane.  Those who say they seek it should go to the Far East and sign up on one of the pirate vessels or a brothel.  Then they can commit ‘suicide by other’ and not disturb the lives of the sane.  In BDSM, it is a relationship regardless of how close or distant the participants are or may seem in terms of mainstream relationships; sex, no sex, protocol to no protocol, etc.

Submissive - Ranges from people who have a laundry list of limits to those with very few.  Most of them require safe words.  They are people who consent to give up control on a limited basis. 

The reciprocals of the above terms are obvious or should be.  I don't care about the other categories like bottom, switch, play partner or fetishist.  Bottom's or play partner's aren't submissive, so I rarely have interest in them; except exercise.  Switches switch and I don't.  Fetishists are the ones that actually fit the cliché "It's not about you, it's about me."  They only care about their kink.  They don't have any empathy or interest in submitting.  They want their rush, their way, with no compromise.  I think of fetishists as the penultimate in self-centeredness and/or tunnel vision.  They’re very dominant, if you like cliché’s.

Masochist – This really is only my definition of this label because the mainstream one includes insanity as part of it.  A masochist is someone who is aroused or satiated by pain in some way and is mentally stable; the exception being the submissive that can be satiated with the thought that they are taking the pain as an aspect of submission.  They are a unique category.

Me:  Sadistic dominant only interested in masochistic submissive’s as a minimum.  Need I say more?

I decided to insert this response to someone who contacted me to ask if it is even possible to use consensual non-consent.

Your question tells me you have limited exposure personally and/or watching others real time.  The answer is yes, it is truly possible to have situations where the sub consents to be taken wherever the dominant wants to go and not be able to safeword out. I am talking about where the sub is pushed past their comfort zone, sobbing, screaming and begging.  There are a lot of people out there with a real need to see how far they can go, on both sides of the whip.  Even without pain, you have sexual and emotional (submission) scenarios that can push people really hard.

Also, when the chemistry is there, some masochists will end up flying so high that they can't safeword and it is really up to whoever is topping them to use their judgment.

Austin or Houston must have some SM clubs or parties.  If you're bi, the gay leather scene will have some pretty intense stuff happening more regularly, or at least the few I have been exposed to in Boston, New York and San Francisco.

 

 

 

I want to just give up on kink and become a fan of Asian actors.  Super hot eye candy, nothing else.

First on my list, Kim, Jae Wook, Korean. Now if he turned out kinky and liked older women, I'd be set. Second Kayo Satou or Kayo Satoh, Japanese, model, actress, ladyboy. Third Lee, Sang-woo, Korean. Fourth, Park Shin Hye, Korean, the woman who dressed as a guy in the film You are Beautiful/You are Handsome.  Tomo Yanagishita - there must be a cosmic rule that most really sensuous looking guys are gay.

 

 

 

 

I want a do over.  Today was a crap day.

I went to go to the store and my car wouldn't start. I went and got my extension cord from the garage and plugged in a charger for the battery. But since I was only going to run to the store, I didn't put on a coat. Wearing a tank top was not the best idea, only because I forgot one of the keys to the house. The one I locked of course. I just moved. I hate moving.

Fire department to the rescue. Door opened in 30 seconds or so, after freezing in the car for 25 minutes. But it gets better.

I waited 45 minutes in the house for the charger to charge my assumed problem, a dead battery, and with coat on and zipped I checked that I had the key and that it worked and went out.

Charge was still too low so I went to go back inside. The key fit, but the lock would not open. So, fire department, but this time the embarrassment of having the dispatcher unable to contain his laughter as I asked for help again.

This time they were there in 5 minutes, but it took 10 minutes to open the door. It turns out that even with a key, there is something wrong with the lock so I need to replace it.

Total for the day, bad day 3, me 1/2. I get the half because I keep laughing about having this kind of day and picturing the dispatcher who's day seems to have been brighter for the idiocy and I apparently supplied practice for team 2. Since I'm counting coup, I definitely earned my half point and my Irish cream and vodka. Now I just need a massage and lots of pain killers.

I seem to have given the wrong impression.  The events while mortifying, were funny as hell while they were happening.  I don't like to be embarrassed, but that is life and if you can't laugh at the absurd, what are you going to laugh at?

Female Supremacy, MY view excerpted from an email I sent.

I believe that each human being should evolve to the best and most useful being they can be. There are men and women who are fulfilled by serving. There are men and women who are fulfilled by taking control. I don't give in to wishful thinking or projecting. Men and women each have strengths and weaknesses.

I own my pet. I honestly don't care what other women do, that is their choice and I would fight for them to have that choice, including being the most debased depraved slave on the planet.

Not excerpted.

I am a real person and I try not to lose myself in the bullshit rhetoric or worse, sheep mentality. Each is a person, not just female/male. Those are a very real piece of who we are, but do not define all we can do and be.

So for the party line as I know it of female supremacy. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. You can and may need to submit to a woman, excellent. Try to do so, if you are a balanced being, with realistic expectations of both what you can give, take and need. You can and may need to submit to a man, not so good, but I am female. Try to fulfill yourself, if you are balanced, with realistic expectations of both what you can give, take and need.

I subjugate males and females so I am prejudiced with the worst thing, experience. I see people as people. I see fulfillment, growth, really good sex and laughter as the penultimate goal.

It's all about me/you.
Every time I read or hear that, I laugh. I generally can't keep a straight face when saying it. Why?

It's all about fulfilling the needs of two thinking (an assumption, but one I cling to) people. That fulfillment, in my case, comes from taking control of someone who is my reciprocal and needs to be controlled.

It's all about me/you; is a shallow aggrandizement of whichever party is saying it. That service, dedication, dependence and obedience is all about both of the people involved. But I do get to laugh a lot more than them.

Or, it's all about any number of permutations of the statement above. I didn't write them because as I pictured the words, I realized it was a book. I'm not that good of a writer, or that interested.

So when someone says that, I know that they are not thinking, not aware, not able to keep up with me in the depths of the mind and body that I revel in.

Or just lazy.

-Potential future profile - Feel free to read. 

PLEASE do not respond

About me:  I am a sadist, sensual, but still a sadist.  That means if you don’t get aroused at the thought of pain, you don’t really interest me.  I’m also a dominant with extensive and hopefully ever expanding interests.  If you feel a need to give up control of a majority of yours, and are aroused by pain, we might have some potential.  That’s the point of going to a site like this, to skip the initiation of the unknowing and find those at more advanced levels.  I’m straightforward; I don’t like games or players, daydreamers or liars.   I wear normal clothes, unless I choose not to do so.

Female supremacy, not so much, I can be with a man or a woman, dominate and torture either.  So women aren’t supreme to me.  They are human beings that I may or may not be attracted to.

That being said, I’m also a person.  I need a meeting of minds, not just bodies and will.  I like to laugh, explore minds and bodies.  I like it when I can make someone cry.  I also like it when I can make them laugh, feel exhilarated, taken, mutually respected, empowered, disempowered, used to exhaustion,  strong, fully alive and motivated to beg.   Manners are extremely important to me, not because of bdsm, but because your behavior reflects on me and I will distance myself from the overtly and openly crude.  That’s for private interaction at appropriate times.  When I cry, and it does happen, to be supported and know that I am real to that person.  Being real to someone is turning out to be the biggest handicap of online; I’m treated like a charity that is supposed to supply endlessly to others desires, or like being kinky makes me less than human.  My preferences are ignored, denigrated and demeaned.  My time is wasted because I spend so much of it reading self-directed ramblings and demands that I not have my own wants, needs and desires fulfilled.   The worst and most tiring are those that mold what they say to match me, when in reality there is no substance.

This is my life, not a job, not a hobby and not something I am ashamed of being.  I live privately and don’t feel a need to shout to the world what I do and with whom I do it.  But I don’t cower in the shadows; I’ve had fun at the clubs in and around Boston, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, a few conventions, play parties, Folsom Street Fair.  One particularly interesting Folsom run, I even volunteered at a booth to beat people to raise funds for one of the bdsm teaching organizations.  It was fun, mainstream, curious people getting a taste of sensual pain and loving it, teaching a little dom how to treat his lady, being challenged by a leather dude to make him feel it.  It was one of the rare occasions that I got high and disoriented off of playing with strangers.  I even learned something.  I also need someone to ground me; luckily I had someone at the time to do just that.  I also learned not to give bare handed spankings to painsluts.   I met the challenge, but boy did my hand ache.  I don’t crave or even need the scene in the end; I go with the flow of what’s of interest

 I will recoil in disgust if you want me to service you.  I do not serve.  I do not submit.  I control.

The person I share this with needs to be strong, confident and proud of who and what they are.  They need to crave someone to take that strength and mold it, guide it, control it and be the piece that fits mine to make a stronger whole.   They need to know what they need, want to grow, explore and expand their boundaries.  I prefer someone who will not be micro-managed once a foundation is in place, but will be thoroughly controlled.  A weak person makes me sad and frustrated because I can’t feel anything for them but pity. 

The paradox, as if all of this isn’t, is that I love to have someone beg; but only if they are strong.

Balance; integrate mainstream life and the thread of bdsm that runs through it.  FLR, TPE or slave mindset is the level I’m at.  I had it and I miss it.  I miss my pet on his knees asking if I wanted something, glancing up from reading to see him tidying up, sharing jokes, problems and ideas.    Watching his body writhe, knowing he wanted and would take more pain, both for me and himself.  Driving to the dive site for scuba and seeing a different world; going to a play and dinner, hanging with a few friends and watching him squirm and blush as we talked about him, having him thank me for the experience after.  I later had someone that almost worked, but in the end, she couldn’t stop testing me and I could never just be with her until I broke her down.  I don’t have the interest in taking someone down each and every time we are together.  Building trust is one thing; an important thing for both, poking at it to see if you can break it is another.  Some things I enjoy, being bathed, groomed, serviced and obeyed.  I am happy with; a night at home, talking, watching a show, sharing wine, teasing, tormenting, having sex, making love or trying to make that persons cry, sob and scream, sometimes even all in one night.  Tease and denial, edging, getting someone to sincerely beg to be allowed release, are nice ways to spend time.  I sometimes enjoy going out to dinner, talking, laughing and going with the feel of the moment.  The checklist is extensively filled out to provide a glimpse of me as well.

Someone once called me a sadistic romantic.  It fits, to a point.  I’m not distant.  I am cold, passionate, nurturing and cruel.  They are all part of me.  But, I’m also demanding, controlling and exacting.  I don’t relate to my pet as just an object, although I may objectify them at times.    I challenge and am challenged in turn.  The world won’t see much, but we will.   The world won’t know that before them are two people; a dominant and her pet, exploring right in front of them.  I’d rather have hard, pounding, marathon sex, more often than soft and gentle.  Being contrarian, I like sensualists who are able to touch and be touched.   I'm not dreamy eyed, I'm pramatic.  If someone give's me a dozen roses, I mourn their death and wish I had gotten a miniature rose bush to plant.  I'm not sweet, I leave that to the subs. 

Physically, I’m attracted to thin, sleek, runners bodies, on men anyway.  A full head of hair is required because I love to pull it. 

About you: a clean, clear photo of you as you are now, an introduction of the person who has decided they think they may fit me and hopefully why, your experience and how long you have served someone, whatever else you want to share.

 

 

Contact says: god id love to worship you.

My response: Hello no name,

Right after I slap you silly for sending me a one liner. What's up with you? You beg on your profile to find someone real and act like a punter when contacting me. I'm not your domme, but I am a person and I have taken the time to clearly say what I want and how I want it along with an invitation to keep going if it is too much for some poor subs fingers and brain to handle. I don't ask for money, or kneeling while typing or any other crap, just clear communication of the information that will let me know who the hell you are and if there is a chance it could work.

You want to submit, learn courtesy. It will help you in every aspect of your life.

Note: I'm posting this to my journal, without your I.D., since it epitomizes so many of the contacts I get.

Stay warm,

JJ

Lol, I have a renewing fetish for Asian men.  So sad. 

Just got sent a clip and I am forcing myself outside to snow blow, while super aroused by having seen a guy stay hard through a scene.  I have to get to Japan and Korea.

I have a vicious bug, sore throat, ear ache, head ache, bones ache, my eyes keep trying to explode, coughing, sneezing, and phlegm.

I can now tell anyone accurately exactly how I am when I am sick.  But I don't have to, my comments below show how bitchy and pissy I am when I am sick and irritated. 

1. I have no patience.

2.  I am more annoyed than normally by the stupidity and rudeness of people.

3.  I am cranky

If you are routinely told by people that you are an idiot, selfish or any other colorful descriptive, don't talk to me.

If you have no friends to routinely tell you that you are an idiot, selfish or any other colorful descriptive, don't talk to me.

If you don't feel that your manners are impeccable enough to be invited to dinner with your God, or the mother of your boss, while wearing a shock collar that is keyed to Miss Manners, don't contact me.

 Notice, I am so sick all I can think of are double negatives.  That is a bad sign.

 I'm trying to clear the backlog of emails and distract myself from pain.  Really, the profiles are ten times better if I just read them and never talk to the people behind them to destroy my illusions.  Then I can imagine personalities and intelligence that patently is not showing any signs of existing in the actual person.

Punishment and real pain

How to punish a masochist - Don't touch them.

How to punish a submissive - Don't talk to them.

How to punish a slave - Don't see them.

How to torture a dominant - Role Play/Scene

How to torture a sadist - wait until she is almost done untying you and say in a cheerful, happy voice, MORE PLEASE.  I'm so bummed, this has never happened.  I would have been rolling on the floor laughing, if only.