Surleysue

I am starting sessions again with a DOM, but he is not my DOM, so I am still looking....

I've been asked often, upon every first email, what I am looking for.  Recently, I've realized that this has changed for me since I've first started exploring this world.  I am lady, first and foremost.  I am looking for somebody who will remember that at all times.  I want to date, be taken out, treated with respect.  (Even in the face of humiliation, the after care shows that respect between a DOM and his sub.) I also must have a respect and a trust for a man for me to consider him my DOM.  This is a relationship, even if it's not conventional, and it takes time to build upon.  I'm not looking for something short lived.  I don't want to have to start over again every couple of months. 

I am looking for more than just sexual contact.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to move in with anyone, nor do I open my home to anyone to move in with me.  However, I do require more than the occasional "kinky booty call".  Each date, encounter, I will know my place.  That is something that won't change.  The DOM/sub roles will always be there, even out of the bedroom.  I have children, but I don't expect that any relationship I start will include an introduction to them in any way.  I don't need validation, but I would like to know, without guessing, that you are interested in me...that you have a desire to be with me.  This does not always have to be done with words, actions show this, also. 

I am a very strong woman.  Maybe that is why I have such a longing to not be in control in at least once aspect of my life.  Being submissive is who I've always been, but in the face of society, it does not show.  Nobody who knows me would guess that I submissive.  (So I guess nobody really knows me at all.)  I am financially secure.  This does not mean I expect to pay when I'm taken out, I won't.  It does mean that I will ALWAYS pay my own bills, and make my own way in this world.  I will never ask anyone for financial help....EVER....even if I do hit a rough patch.  Nor would I accept it if it were offered. 

This site, this whole thing, extremely irritates me.  We are each looking to fulfill our desires in a way that fits into our lives.  Personally, having a DOM who is married does not work for me.  I can't see myself with a man, DOM or not, who will be leaving my side to go home to his wife after each session.  If that is what you are looking for, a sub who is tolerant of that behavior, then I'm not a good fit for you. 

I've been told I will be hard pressed to find a DOM who isn't married, because it's part of being the Dominant role, having more than one female sub/girlfriend/wife.  I disagree.  At least, that is not the kind of DOM/sub relationship that I'm looking for.  It will not fit into my life.