have You ever found a concept so simple it is hard to describe, or so complex it can fit into one word....that is how i feel so often when trying to explain the inner me a deeper and more complex explanation for something so beautifully simple and subtle
to be asked what one wants and to answer
a Master
to be asked what one is and answer
slave
So simple but so complex, both I think require much more then one word. Yes they are deep issues and contain so much... some of which i have yet to find words to define and so struck silent, say simply the one word. it is a difficult thing to describe to someone outside of the life and yet there is not much understanding even in the Life
To be a slave is more than sex it is a state of being
The thought of the one who owns you in every breath and action
From brushing your hair, and cleaning the floor, to the way you place your hands when walking
It is a becoming what He needs and desires on His whim
And finding yourself lifted and exalted from achieving it
your heart racing and breath catching just at the thought of Him
It is a sense of security in His care
Knowing the world is safe while He is around
It is an endless limitless trust in His honor and strength
It is wanting to breathe in the breath He exhales, to be consumed so totally life does not exist without Him
It is to be the lowliest beast for Him, to be used sexually in His hands
It is to be corrected and taught how and when to act and speak
It is to be a object of affection and desire at all times
It is to hide nothing from Him
Nothing
It is giving Him all ones fear and love, joy and pain, anger and tolerance
Knowing that He can and does control ones mind, body and soul
It is instant obedience even when the command is not understood
Trusting Him not to harm one beyond repair
And then at the same time
Not caring if He does
That even ones life belongs to Him
That is what this slave feels in her soul
And she has yet to find a Master who can tame it and take it from her
Many have tried
And many failed
Being slave is not being abused
Or tortured for the sheer joy of Him that causes the pain without concern
Without reason and thought to what to teach
It is being harshly and as often as needed taught ones place
To bend to His will so pain is no longer needed as a force
It is knowing the slave inside and out that truly gives the Master this control
Many Masters play on this sense they think they understand
But until one sees and feels it truly from one at His feet He has no concept of the power and responsibility it takes to own a girl so completely
A slave is not a mindless servant
She is a feeling living breathing complex set of physical and emotional concepts
And her care and growth falls to the Master
As does every aspect of her very existence
It is having sex and wanting to become part of the One with you, it is feeling like They are opening you up and crawling inside, possessing Your essence
It is the little death on orgasm
~smiles~
Not just a physical release but one of your very being.... all given to another
And all of that
All of those words and explanations
Is what this slave is
And needs and desires
i have come to realize through my exploration that i have become the slave. The true slave i was born to be. It has helped me define what i am. i even now talking of such deeper things become the slut. Feeling my belly tighten yearning for a Masters touch. The brush of my hair causing shivers up my spine. I am a sensual and deep female slave, one that has been brought to life in her slavery.
So just because i am a sultry slave, does not mean i am thoughtless. That when i think i am any less the base animal wanting physical desires filled
I think I only have deep understanding of my own views and desires and do not imply to know the minds of others
i have been hurt many many times
but yet still lay all out to those who take the time to want to know and discover
I will not hide my weakness
nor cover it with false senses of strength
the One who is meant for me will find me and see in me the weakness
and know my strength to show it
I will give all to that One
but i will push and test Him as i am finding His inner Man
seeing if He is true to self
a liar is lost on me
the smallest lie will break the trust
the simplest untruth cause Him to lose me
it is why I am still single
and unowned
I demand devotion and loyalty, honesty and compassion,
if these things are not part of Him
He is not worthy of my soul
for the One who has me finally in true ko'lar will have it
completely and irrevocably
