Father Figures and Daddies
I have posted here several times on how I view various aspects of the lifestyle. They are rather long posts and only of interest to those in the R/T community with some appreciation of protocols and rituals. The ideas in them were for practical application. This post is more theoretical and to help me better understand the nature of my own age play. .
I viewed a post in an age play forum from a young sub in the UK. She was inquiring about a Father figure as opposed to a Daddy. It made me think about how I positioned myself in the age play or role-play scene.
This is where I?ll get flamed.
A Daddy role-plays in the moment. It is about the scene and in BDSM circles is mostly sexually charged. In other groups, it may not be. But, in all cases it is scene oriented. Although elements of Daddy/daughter play can carry through the entire relationship, it is limited in scope due too the contingencies of real life. It?s hot, it?s fun and both parties find satisfaction in living this fantasy. (After All, you are not really a little girl and he is not really your Daddy.). There is nothing wrong in this and I don?t want to imply there is. I?ve played these scenes many times myself. They can be casual as in a one-night-stand, or occasionally interjected into other scenes or as part of a long-term relationship. There is sex, discipline, hot spanking etc and I enjoy that as many do.
A Father figure carries through the entire relationship. He is less about play and more about how he and his ?daughter? relate to one another. He is a role model, someone to look up to, someone to teach, mentor, and give advice, listen, and consol. He is someone a sub/daughter can respect for his sagacity, knowledge and wisdom. Someone she trusts enough to confide in. He is someone who will not judge her, but will offer her guidance. In other words, A Father figure is less about the scene and more about the overall relationship.
Yes, there is a bit of semantics in all this. It is two aspects of the same age play dynamics. One aspect being in the action of the ?moment?, the other addressing Non-sexual needs. I don?t know how many times I?ve met an age play sub for play and have spent the evening, with her on my knee?talking about her issues of the day.
This distinction is to clarify the two different aspects of the relationship. You can be and many times are both. Both roles help the D/s dynamic.
My age play subs call me Daddy when we?re engaged in play and Sir when not. I?m in the Father figure mode 24/7 but Daddy only during play. I rarely talk down to them and they rarely use baby talk, except if diaper play is involved. Other than that we speak as the adults we are.
Being a Father figure doesn?t preclude BDSM play either. You are often in the position of training or teaching or simply engaging in BDSM activities for their own sake. Fathers do discipline, but not for play. Daddy?s like to discipline for play. The Father is the serious Dom. He exists in his submissive mind, all the time. The Daddy is the playful one and exists only in the scene.
A Daddy during age play is often catering to his little girls needs rather than his own. He is more often than not reacting to her outbursts, teasing and scheming to get her own way. That?s what little girls do. He may discipline her and think that?s BDSM play, but in this context it?s not. When she is his little girl she is not necessarily submissive. She is growing towards independence. She challenges her Daddy and the dynamic is about fun. A Father figure realizes she is growing in many ways and may out grow him. She will never forget him. Daddies come and go. Fathers are forever. A child grows away from you; a sub grows closer to you.
In many ways, a Daddy is a player; a Father figure is the vanilla part of being a Master. Call it the responsible part of being a Master. Can one person be all three? The answer is yes. In a healthy D/s relationship they usually are. All Masters have a bit of the Father and Daddy in them; all submissives have a bit of inner Kid in them. A good Master knows the difference. He knows if his slave is mostly inner kid or mostly submissive. He moves effortlessly between his roles based on these needs and his own interests.
I look for comments here. As you can see I?m struggling with defining the relationship, as it exists during play and as it exists outside of play. You may view things differently and add to my ever-continuing learning curve.
From the musings of an Old Dom
?All things can be found. Depending on the spirit of the quest? Joseph Conrad
