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Holding someone loosely when they want to be held tightly isn’t kindness. Holding someone tightly when they need to be held loosely is not wisdom. Wanting to keep that hold upon someone is dominant desire. Knowing how tightly to hold at any given moment without letting go is Mastery.
While I am strict and demandng, and can explore both the light and the dark side of desire,I have no use or tolerance for suffereing. I don't want a woman who will be miserable in my command, as if that somehow proved my power over her, but one who is joyful. And I know the things that make that possible.
Other than that, a full D/s relationsip isn't the sort of thing that can be boiled down into a quick profile. There are some things that I can say I believe and that I seek:
1) I have no problem with physical maschocists but have no desire for an emotional maschocist (In other words, if you want someone to lie, ignore you or otherwise treat you like trash we probably aren't a fit)
2) I strive to show a woman that her submission is as much present in the softest kiss as in the most stringent bondage. Range and context are important to me and will be to the one I command..
3) I have no interest in D/s play without context. The activities are means to an end, not the end in and of themselves.
4) I am passionatly interested in the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of a D/s relationship. I am not interested in having less than all three.
4) If you believe that romance, friendship and all the other good things in any relationship are incompatible with a D/s relationship, we probably aren't a good fit.
The rest are things to be talked about in more detail than a profile allows.
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Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me. |
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Let me tell you a story of what I consider to be true service from a slave to a Master:....Some years ago, I was rather eager and excited at the release of a certain movie. All right, I'll admit a degree of geekdom, it was the first X-Men movie. Having been a comic book fan for most of my life, I was really looking forward to seeing it. I went the first day it was open and enjoyed it immensely. The only detraction from my pleasure was that my slave at the time was out of town, so I was unable to take her with me.......That evening, I called my slave and asked her what she had done with her day. "I went to the movies." she told me. "Oh? What did you see?" I asked. "The X-Men movie." she replied......Now this surprised me a little, as she was not a comic fan and such a movie was more than a little out of her usual genre. When I asked why she'd chosen to brave the first day lines and go see it, she said simply, "I knew you were looking forward to this movie, and I thought you might like to discuss it with me, Master. So I went to see it."....More than any scene, more than any ritual, this act: going without being told to a movie she knew I'd want to talk about, was to me the perfect show of submission and service...and I was pleased and honored and deeply touched.....One of the things I seek now is a woman who can understand my feelings...and who wants to be a submissive who does such things to earn her Master's pleasure with her. |
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The term is noblesse oblige. You don't hear it often in the d/s community but you should. It is simply that a person in a position of power has the obligation, in return for that power, to exercise it benevolently.
George William Russel once observed,
"Despotisms endure while they are benevolent. Even an oligarchy might be permanent if the spirit of human kindness, which harmonises all things otherwise incompatible, is present."
How does this affect D/s? Simply that the care of a submissive/slave by a Dominant is a built in obligation of taking the power of domiance. The willingness of a sub or slave to live without this benevolence and kindness does nothing to relieve a Dom or Domme from the obligation to provide it.
This does not mean a submission cannot be real and deep, nor does it at all affect the strictness with which a submissive is held. It is merely that the concern for the
submissive's well being not only comes with the territory of being in charge, it increases proportionatly to the amount of control taken .
This shouldn't be such a hard concept to grasp. In fact, we all learned it as kids. All you have to do is rember the words of Spiderman..."With great power comes great responsibility"....He knew this fact from issue one, and it never stopped him from tying up people most effecively.
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The current "leather community" is to full, lasting and trancendent d/s relationships as Midieval Times Resturant is to historical scholarship. |
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There are two very distinct schools of thought when it comes to ownership of a submissive: One is tht the submissive or slave should be owned because she is low and valuless. The other is that she should be owned because she is rare and priceless. I will always believe in the pricelessness of a good woman, and so ownership of the one I love is the greatest of treasures. |
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Let's face it: If you're submissive, you're domm'd if you do and domm'd if you don't :Grin:
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Ok...please pay attention because I don't want to have to repeat myself. I don't care what you say in your profile, you are not looking for a "Dominate" man. You are looking for a "Dominant" man. Dominate is a verb, Dominant is an adjective. Or, to put it simply, a Dominant man dominates. Since one of the styles of D/s is called English, let's get our English straight, shall we.
This message has been brought to you by the "Yes, I know it's a small matter but it's my pet peeve foundation of me" |
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The only Dominant who deserves to have a submissive give to him such loyalty as to obey his commands, without concern to being harmed, is one who would never give a command that would harm his submissive. That is part of the contract that makes a Dom/sub relationship healthy and viable. |
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I must admit that I grow tired of seeing so many ads speaking of "submissive in the bedroom but not elsewhere" or "Only submissive part of the time" as if that is a good thing. Does that truly mean that I only have to be a Master sometimes? When would such people like me to not put their well being first and above all else? When would it be good to lay down my responsibility to make sure my decisions are wise and fair and positive? When would you like me not to feel responsible for your physical, mental and emotional well being?
And even if you did want me to put in less than the work that is needed to, in my opinion, to even vaguely deserve the term "Master" I would not want to do so.
I do not seek to give less...I seek a slave/prtner who seeks to give more.
But that's just me. |
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