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"I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found a, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human."
— C. JoyBell C. I'm a single mother of 2, my youngest is off at college, and my oldest out living his life. I am in school f/t (changed major again for the 3rd time lol),I bartend p/t and work f/t in healthcare. The last 3 years I have survived cancer, a heart attack, ended, began, and ended again relationships, along the way re-discovered who I am. You really want an idea of who I am? Take a little time and read thru my blogs..that should give you an idea. As for now, I am just living my life the best I can, enjoying each day to the best of my ability...if I run across someone who fits in with that, great. If I don't...I'll be fine, trust and believe that.

My Ideal Person: Someone who can make me smile..pretty simple, huh? You would think. If you're confident in who you are and happy with where you are in life, then lets talk. If you're looking for the ultimate romance, I dare say you have stumbled across the wrong site. Grant you, I never say never, and "the one" may be on here...but I'm a should be too.

Are you a submissive? No, I am not. I do, however, prefer to be dominated sexually. I have, and WILL, top from bottom at the slightest hint of weakness. And trust me when I say, that is never a very pleasant situation. Weak mean make me sick...period. I do get some enjoyment, or rather some stress release, when humiliating or degrading weak little submissive males. Believe this....that disgust you hear in my voice? yeah, it's genuine. On the flip side, I am also NOT a masochist by any means. I may like things a little rougher than most vanilla women, but I am NOT a pain slut. And that humiliation I tend to dole out? Yeah...not happening in this direction. lol If you catch me viewing your profile, 9 times out of 10 it is for mere curiosity. I am a student of human to see what makes others tick. If I am truly interested (which is quite rare these days) I have no problem saying so. My absolute weakness is rope....I am a rope slut, no doubt. But I have only had two riggers in my years, as IMHO this sort of relationship requires the ultimate trust between two people. Both of my riggers were NOT my sexual partners. Bear in mind that not all is sexual.

8/11/2014 1:19:54 PM
The following was written by a rigger in response to the question, "Why do you do rope?" His response shows the mindset of one who I would certainly submit to.

"A lot of people have asked why I do rope , so I thought the best way to answer this is to say why I DONT do rope .....

This is generally my mind set whenever I do rope :

I don't do rope because I want to
I do rope because we want to

I don't do rope because I think you want to
I do rope because you trust me

I don't do rope because its pretty
I do rope because you look amazing in it

I don't do rope to 'caught' you
I do rope to 'court' you

I don't do rope to restrain you
I do rope to embrace you

I don't do rope to touch your body
I do rope to touch your body mind and spirit

I don't do rope to make you feel vulnerable
I do rope to make you feel safe

I don't do rope to get you naked
I do rope to dress you in jute

I don't do rope to suspend you
I do rope to make you fly

I don't do rope to restrict you
I do rope to make you feel free

I don't do rope to scar you
I do rope to leave rope marks

I don't do rope to hurt you
I do rope to show you how much I care

I don't do rope for anyone
I do rope for us

I don't do rope to try and break you
I do rope to extend your limits

I don't do rope because its an event
I do rope because every time is an experience

I don't do rope because its a hobby
I do rope because its always only ever fun

So guys this is really why I do rope and is why I only ever do rope with people I connect with ................ so who wants to do rope huh  " -- by RelentlessQuest
7/19/2014 5:57:22 AM
Well, as some of you know, I spent the first part of July attending the Starwood festival out at Wisteria. Besides having a blast with friends, and enjoying meeting new ones...I had some good quality time to reflect on things. I spent some serious quality time at the Ancestor mound in the afternoon (was on my way to the pond when I got compelled to go visit...imagine that lol). That time was what defined the rest of my evening. I decided to have my friend paint my face as to honor those who have gone before. And the rest of the evening I spent, in my own way, as a reminder to those around me that we are surrounded by those who walked before us, and that They are with us as we celebrate. Tuatha Dea (which means "tribe of the gods" for those who kept asking me) put on one hell of a show. If you have never heard them, I suggest you google them now! The procession to light the bonfire was very nice, and of course the fire was spectacular. After a brief stop at the Palace, it was down to Paw Paw, where the energy around that fire was so inviting to those who wait in the shadows, that one could almost physically touch them. Maybe it was the mead, maybe it was my mindset, but maybe just maybe, I really watched all those from both sides dancing side by side. And to truly was incredible to watch. 

During some of my meditations, it came to me that I needed to do something...something to start "witnessing" my faith (to coin the Christian phrase)...walking my talk. At one time I had thought the magazine was that. Until returning home from Starwood and discovering the heated debate going on in the greater pagan population. Seems following the heels of Pantheacon, at the Polytheistic Leadership Conference there is strong talk of polytheist wanting to separate from the neopagans. That one confuses me, because IMHO most (notice I did not say AL but MOST polytheist ARE neopagans. If you do not hail from an unbroken lineage of polytheist, you are a neopagan. That would mean most everyone. (Though as soon as I use words like ALL, some obscure tribe from New Guinea or somewhere will pop up and prove me wrong) 

That is when it hit me! My Master's thesis is going to be on prison reform: rehabilitation v punishment, and I have several friends on the West Coast who are doing pagan prison ministries thru the ADF. So I researched....there is no pagan prison ministry in West Virginia. BAM!! I shall start one....but not a Druid ministry thru the ADF....a pan-pagan prison ministry. I shall gather up a team from different paths and do this. What better way to serve those who need it, in a way that does show the diversity under the pagan umbrella and how it can work together? 

So, the next few months...hell next 6 months shall be focused on trying to finish my degree so I can start my Master's program...and researching and implementing this ministry...hopefully to start by next spring.
6/25/2014 7:46:29 AM

Hotel Donovan is now closed. Period. I have been truly blessed in my life with people who extended a hand and helped me when I was down. Because of that, I have always tried my best to help those in need when I could....hell, even when I really couldn't afford to, I did. Pay it forward...that was my theory. Over the past few years I gave a kid a home and got thru high school when no one wanted her, gave another friend a free place to live, and food, for a year, and countless others places to crash. I'm not asking for accolades, I did it because others had helped me. I tried to help anyone who wanted to help themselves. But Donna is tired of being the "stop off" point...I'm done. Truly. If there was ever a doubt of how selfish I can be, trust when I say there will be no doubt anymore.

"Your relationships with others are always a direct reflection of the relationship you have with yourself." -- Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

That says it all. The relationship I have had with others, be it romantic or otherwise, has always been dysfunctional, to say the least. I find myself in the position of enabler or caretaker, because quite honestly, I like to feel needed/useful. It's an ego thing...that I will admit. And that is exactly the relationship I have had with myself....I enable myself to continue on in a maladaptive way. (A term most of us addicts should know well) Part of recovery (even for those of us past the 20 year mark) is learning how to recognize those "maladaptive" behavior patterns and change them. Part of that change, for me, is learning how to let go of my ego and start valuing this life I was given, not once but twice.

And so the journey continues...... :-)

5/8/2014 7:58:16 AM

"Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events as meaningfully related, where they are unlikely to be causally related. The subject sees it as a meaningful coincidence." We've all had those "Aha" moments, when something happens and the goosebumps cover your arms, and you think "Ahhh, now I understand why such and such happened" Two weeks ago my mother had a triple bypass. I was down in Arlington with her for the surgery. She had asked that "Wake Me Up" by Avicii be played when she came out of surgery. Fast forward about 12 dear friend and fellow blogger on here, Safira, came to visit with me at the hospital. When we went back to visit my mother, my mom noticed Safira's tattoo inside her forearm. It says "Awake". It seems that Safira had gotten that tattoo based on her "self-discoveries" thru that same song. Coincidence? Perhaps...meaningful? Definitely. Synchronicity. Add to that my mother and friend both have the exact same name. 

I have recently had a wonderful new friend enter my life, one who swears we have taken this ride before (and I do believe they are correct). Instant connection, as if we were together many lifetimes and knew that immediately. My new friend is a former convict, led a very violent past, and walked away from that life 20 years ago. Today, they run a Drug and Alcohol Addiction treatment facility and teach about Chemical Dependency and Criminal Behavior at a college. One week after discovering this new friendship, my son relapsed....and quite hard this time. He is now in a facility and getting the treatment he needs, yet we have a long hard road ahead of us. I said it on my Facebook...people we need come into our lives at the precise moment we need them. Synchronicity. 

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path.”---Steve Jobs Understanding that you are not existing in this universe as an isolated being, that you are in someway connected to the things around you and trusting in the synchronicity of life gives you an opportunity to enjoy life and celebrate the fullness of it. That is what I take from my mother's choice in songs, and in my friend's tattoo....and like the two of them, I find myself now "awake". Siochain, mo charas!

3/27/2014 6:28:46 PM

A very prominent figure in the pagan community, a celebrated author, lecturer and amazing musician has been arrested on 25 counts of child pornography this morning. The media is going crazy, blogs and discussion groups are ablaze with heated debates, and my heart is just sad. Kenny Klein was, and is, my friend. And until I know the absolute truth about exactly what has transpired...not the media frenzy nor the "I knew it all along" bs from the pagan community...I shall reserve making judgment. If, and I emphasize IF, this is all true...this behavior has absolutely NOTHING to do with him being a pagan, nor does it have anything to do with festivals at "clothing optional" facilities. (yes, I have seen that one bantered about already) It is my request that we all reserve judgment until all of the facts are known...and show some dignity in the face of what is now to become a "persecute the pagan" maelstrom. Thank you

3/16/2014 7:27:31 AM
Well it has been two weeks since I made the move down here to Hurricane. It has been one of the best decisions I believe I have made in a long, long time. My little mountain home may be small, but cozy and comforting. I downsized from a 3 bdrm, 2-story house to a 1 bdrm trailer. I was forced to go thru and purge so much crap from my life that I had accumulated over the last 4 years. Both physically and figuratively. Therapeutic doesn't begin to describe the process. Eliminating all the clutter from my life has allowed me to focus on the things that are truly important. Do I really need that extra set of coffee cups? is just as relevant as Do I really need that drama so-and-so adds to my life? 

I started work at the new facility last Monday and was so pleasantly surprised! I have never seen staff work so well together...from the admin staff to the kitchen workers. it is so refreshing to work with a group of people who put our residents needs above the all mighty buck. Hell, I didn't even break a sweat! lol

Spending time with tribe down here is balanced out with some serious quality "alone time" on my front porch, with my coffee and the orchestra of bullfrogs. Peace at it's finest!
2/5/2014 8:58:56 AM

This is one of those mornings where I find myself counting the blessings in my life and being ever so grateful to still be above ground. It is a cold dreary morning, the roads are filled with slush up to our knees, and I am relaxing on my bed with a nice cup of coffee, Lucifer and Ryker at my feet. Both of my children are coming into their own and finding their way in this world, I have found myself surrounded by so many who inspire me in ways I never imagined, and finally am able to appreciate and enjoy the direction this journey is heading in.

2/4/2014 5:57:41 AM

This morning is one of those times where I find myself drinking my coffee in silence and reflecting. Some around me were shocked by the break up of Paul and I, others (those who paid attention) were not. Paul and I were two very different people, and while that can sometimes add to a relationship, when there are very fundamental core differences it can be destructive. When there is not truth, loyalty and honor...key values..there is nothing. Mind you, I am referring to this on both are parts. As dishonest as Paul was to me in many regards, I was just as dishonest with myself. And to him, by allowing the charade to continue. When I had the heart attack, I was at home alone. Facing death by myself scared the living shit out of me. I reached out and grabbed on to the first thing I could to ensure that would not happen again. What I didn't realize then, and have come to understand thru the last year of much journeying and understanding, is that I am NEVER alone. Not truly. By seeking to fill a void with something outside myself that can only be filled BY myself, was not honest to Paul or me. I allowed myself to hang onto to that illusion for pure selfish reasons, and that was not honorable in any sense of the word. These are my early morning reflections...learning to practice what I preach in EVERY aspect of my life.

2/2/2014 12:27:10 PM

It has become very evident to me that I need to procure a submissive with a foot who will pamper and massage my aching feet.  :-)  Or a subby who is a skilled massage therapist, with no need for reciprocation or desire for sex.  lol  Just need a back and foot rub, damn it!  lol

2/1/2014 8:30:25 AM

I like to re-circulate this. Now is the time to prepare inwardly for the changes to come. "What is planting a seed? It’s the simple act of setting something into motion that will help you create the life you want to lead. It’s taking a moment of sorrow and realizing that you can use it to fuel you"--TinyBuddha What seeds are you planting? Blessed Imbolc, mo charas! 

A Poem For Imbolc

So the skies rumbled and the snows came, 

And everywhere down through the centuries of this gray night,

Came women gathering to pray,

And to sink their hands into the dark earth

They gathered seeds and prepared them for planting,

They meditated in the icy darkness,

And they celebrated the lambing of the first ewe,

To hasten spring

And when through the earth they felt the stirring,

They sang songs encouraging the tiny seeds to grow.

In the dark, wet soil you can smell their work still;

They are digging along beside us. Listen!

The north wind carries their song across the snow,

This Imbolc night

As the Earth prepares for spring

Wise women gather in circles to await the promise of new life,

And to sing praises for the green earth.

And so do we here now

This year, and every year

---- author unknown

1/31/2014 3:20:08 PM
Let me be perfectly clear: I am NOT interested in anyone who is in a relationship, be that married, live-in, gf whatever. NOT (Unless you think you could fill the sugar daddy role lol j/k) Seriously though, the endless emails and request for chats and cam sessions are grating on my nerves. Most of you probably wouldn't have the balls to do in person what you suggest here online. Be that as it may, don't kid yourself, you are steal cheating on your partner. Ok, there are those saying, "But Donna, you were on here while in a relationship"...yes, I was. I also made it perfectly clear that I was unavailable and only here to keep up with friends and entertain my blog stalkers. I have been on here for many years and have developed life-long friendships along the way. And my partner knew. 

Now to address those who want to bring up the swinging lifestyle. To be clear, I have left the lifestyle with no plans to return. However, I have no problems with those who enjoy it. Swinging and cheating are two very different things. When your partner is not affirmatively involved...meaning they are part of the decision making process, fully aware of what it is you are doing and ok with it...when they are not, it is CHEATING. 

And last but not least, no I am not seeking random partners for various forms of sexual gratification. Sorry, not today. Am I going to become celibate? lol Hell no. I will indulge when I find the right that can stimulate me mentally as well as physically. Until then, I have BOB, and porn. lol That is all for now.
1/30/2014 1:59:22 AM

It is unrealistic to expect a person that does not truly understand the concept of love, or at least your concept of love, to act in any other way than they know how. It is equally unrealistic to expect the same from someone who does not truly understand the concept of friendship, or at least your concept of it. I find that I have been much to unrealistic in my expectations of those who have been in my life. Something I need to work on.

1/28/2014 8:25:11 PM

Now that I am single again (perhaps I should change the screen name, it seems to be prophetic lol) I can look back and reflect on a few things.

The other day I received a phone call from my mother. She is not doing very well; her heart is in pretty bad shape. We find out tomorrow from the cardiologist what the game plan for treatment is. When I received that call, it absolutely took me to my knees. I love this woman with all my heart. And even though I deal with death and the dying every day, and even counsel those facing that next step on their journey and the loved ones left behind....I am not ready to practice what I preach.

That said, you would have thought my first reaction would have been, "gee, I wish Paul were here for me to lean on". Nope. My first thought was, "Oh, thank the gods, that is one less headache I have to deal with." That speaks volumes as to the state of our relationship the last 6 months. 

When we met, I was very happy living my single life. I had just survived my heart attack and was so happy just to be above ground, whether I was single or not. He was/is a very nice guy, truly, and at that time I suppose I was happy to have someone who didn't push things with me and let me be who/what ever I wanted. The only problem was he was "too nice"...well, let me re-phrase that: he was so laid back and easy-going, that he had absolutely no drive of his own. As much as I love being in charge, most of the time, it gets tiring always being the one doing the driving. It's like going cross-country on a trip...every now and then you need someone to take the wheel so you can stretch out your legs.

After a time I became very resentful and bitter and just plain mean. Not something I am proud of, but it is what it is. So the lesson here is I need to either be with one who is truly an equal, or just be alone. I don't need a bad boy (had enough of those in my time, and that grows weary), I don't need some pushover...I need someone who can stand on their own two feet and tell me, "Look, that may work for you, but I'm not doing that" or whatever. I need someone who can take care of their own issues and not add drama and headache to my own.

For now, I am content to just keep living my life and following the plans I have laid out. I will be moving to the Huntington area in the next couple of months, finishing up my degree and moving on to my Masters, and working enough to be able to enjoy the things in this life that feed my soul.

5/25/2012 5:45:31 AM

Wow..what an emotional roller coaster. My "niece" who has been with me the past two years graduated from high school yesterday. No, she is not blood related, but a foster kid I knew for years who had no where to go when her foster mom threw her and her brother out two years ago. Anyways, she came to live with me. For the last two years I have taken care of this kid, nursed her when she was sick, helped with her homework, helped plan her future, watched her grow into a beautiful young woman. Her "mother", who hasnt even had custody of her since she was 9 due to crack, shows up last night, AFTER she had already walked and got her diploma, acting like the proud mama and strutting like some fucking peacock. Do you think she even once said "thank you" to me? Look, I have never done any of this for the accolades...Tete crossing that stage last night was all the thanks I needed. I know how thankful she is, and how much she loves me...but for that crack whore to swoop in and act like the loving parent....well, I just wanted to dot the bitch in the eye. Did I? No. I stayed quiet, I smiled and took pictures. I stayed hard as it was. A few hours later, when the train wreck had headed back to the Cleveland ghetto she belongs in, my niece came home and found me laying on the couch. She said nothing but "Thank you" when she hugged me and handed me her diploma. Now THAT is accolades.

So this morning I am full of emotions...not unusual lately...thinking that my baby spawn is, as of today, a senior, and will be graduating next year. After that, my days of having teens in this house are over. I will be alone...and free to wander off into the sunset. lol Now if I could just figure out where I want to see that sun set, I'll be good. lol

4/13/2012 5:10:41 AM

"Are you interested in me?" This is the email I get...mind you from someone who only has a pic on their profile and the description that says "I wanna fuck". Really? How the hell would I know if I'm interested in you? We have never met, I know nothing about you, add to that you are over an hour away. Oh but wait, that's think you are just so fucking sexy that you just have to look in the camera with (what you think) is a seductive look and type "I wanna fuck" and I am going to see that and just melt. Jebus H Christ, people, get a grip already. That had better be one awesome pic..which is wasn' sweep me off my feet, considering the English language apparently eludes you.

So my response was..."Based on the fact that I have seen this one pic of you and only read I wanna fuck, add to that you live over an hour away, I am going to have to say no. No, I am not interested in you. Perhaps you should read peoples profiles before you ask such idiotic questions." And I attached my profile. And now we wait....we wait for the email that says "You're such a bitch" to come always does. To which I shall reply, "And you're an asshat..have a good day."

4/3/2012 9:22:41 PM

So Im doing this lil personal growth homework assignment on loyalty...more specifically one of the Celtic virtues view of loyalty. In doing this project I fid myself questioning more & more if any of us truly understands the concept of what it means to be loyal. The more you study these virtues, the more you find them lacking in those around you.

I was asked if I find this lacking in myself. I think we tend to confuse selfishness with loyalty when it comes to ourselves. Being loyal to ones own self is truly not selfish, it is a matter of self-respect. "To thine own self be true" may seem trite, but its about as simple as one can put it. Though as simple as that philosophy may seem, it is probaly one of the more difficult.

So my answer would be yes, at times I have found it lacking.

3/22/2012 6:53:55 AM

Well, life has been interesting the last few months, to say the least. Besides the normal routine of going to school, raising teenagers, and working..I have watched my friend's daughter start life over again with a new set of lungs, watched another friend leave this life, and met alot of very interesting people along the way. The past couple of months have been a time of introspection and self-growth. Not always a very pleasant process, but most definitely one that was needed. Watching my friend die was truly a wake up call for me...really put my life and what is important into perspective. I've said this before, but I shall reiterate.I am not looking for a fuck buddy. If all I want is to get laid, I certainly do not have to come on here to do so. I'm at the point in my life where I need some consistency..someone that I actually enjoy being with in AND out of the bedroom. That being said...if consistent, casual sex is all you are after..well, then we can discuss a sugar daddy arrangement. Other than that...have something more to bring to the table besides your cock.

6/24/2011 6:27:55 AM

As of right now, I am single again.  Ahhhh....well, life happens and we move on, yeah?  That however, does not change the situation I seek at this time.  Quite bluntly, the only arrangement I am interested in is a sugar daddy arrangement.  Now, that being said arrangement I have no problem playing top for you.   I have found there to be an enormous amount of, let's call them men, who choose to be dominated and/or humiliated etc.. by a female.  And for some reason I attract them like a magnet.  OK..we'll run with this.


If you are such a "man", who wishes to have me humiliate you, degrade you, make you perform various activities that most would find disgusting....I have absolutely no problem. And trust me when I say, the disugust I would show you during such activities would be genuine, as weak men tend to make my stomach turn.  Humiliating and degrading such a person comes as naturally to me as say, breathing.  I do have a sadistic streak that I try to keep in check.  And as for flogging and such, at this point my anger is not where I could really control myself enough to maintain safety....sorry.  That and the fact that I do not have enough experience to attempt to do so on my own. 


So for those of you who keep messaging and viewing...the ones who want to be made into the nasty lil pigs they are..feel free..I'll gladly help you along.  But my first requirement stands...sugar daddy, or whatever you choose to call 


Yes, the last two years has made me just a bit more self aware.  Could Donna BE any more selfish?  Why yes, yes she can.

3/12/2011 8:43:41 PM

This Thursday....


Let me start this by saying, Yes...I celebrate St Patrick's Day.  Not as the religious celebration it once was, but as a celebration of my heritage.  Around this time of year you can find all kinds of seperate views in the pagan community, especially within those of, or consider themselves of, Celtic descent.  And every year I find myself becoming more and more annoyed with these people.  AND AGAIN..I will reply to those by saying it has now become a day to celebrate being Irish (even those only Irish for the day) but if you want to get all "I'm a Pagan and how dare you celebrate a day named after the guy who drove "the snakes" out of Ireland...get a f'n grip.  First, it's the day of his be morbid and celebrate that if you will.  But in all honesty..Patrick loved the Irish people..which is why he came back to Ireland after escaping from captivity to share with them what he thought was they're salvation.  Grant you, IMHO he was very much misguided, but the intent was with love.  The Catholic Church actually wanted to excommunicate him because he did not go around endorsing the killing of those who didn't immediately convert to their thinking.  He actually became friends with, and worked with Druids and the Irish people to do the conversion peacefully.  Sorry, call me a bad pagan, but Patrick was a good guy.  As was Jesus and Ghandi and Mother Theresa.  So no, I will not act the fool and refuse to celebrate my heritage because some tree-hugging, love and light pagan wants to spout of their own hateful rhetoric.  OK  Off the soapbox for now. lol  Sorry.  I just get so damned tired of hearing it year after year. 


As  to my menu for Thursday, for any of you who care to come by and partake....I shall be serving Colcannon Potatoes, which is boiled potatoes, cabbage and bacon. (veggie bacon to be precise)  Corned beef and cabbage is the traditional meal enjoyed by many on St. Patrick's Day, but only half of it is truly Irish. Cabbage has long been a staple of the Irish diet, but it was traditionally served with Irish bacon, not corned beef. The corned beef was substituted for bacon by Irish immigrants to the Americas around the turn of the century who could not afford the real thing. They learned about the cheaper alternative from their Jewish neighbors.  I'll be making some pork chops, homemade soda bread and stocking up on Guiness.  And yes, John (my son) I shall even have a bottle of Jamesons..will do a shot in your honor!

So, however you decide to celebrate, or not, St Patrick's Day,and for whatever reason....Tabhair dom an rud céanna mar atá ag an fhear ar an t-úrlar! (Give me the same as the man on the floor!)

3/10/2011 11:54:30 AM

Food for Thought


"One day, while strolling in the park, I happened upon a fellow eating an early lunch. Greeting him, he asked if I'd like to share the picnic table with him. Sitting down, i looked at his meal of two sandwiches one being pulled pork and another being a cheeseburger. The topic fell to religion and faith. "I'm an Hasidic Jew" the crew cut man told me while polishing off the pork sandwich. "Really?" "Indeed, it is a wonderful faith that I firmly believe in" he proclaimed. "But where are your side locks?" I asked as he began his cheeseburger. "Oh, I don't need them". "Wasn't that a pulled pork sandwich you ate and aren't you eating a cheeseburger?" "Yup" came the reply. "I'm no authority, but don't Jews avoid pork and isn't meat and cheese to be avoided because "you must not boil a kid in it's mother's milk?" His congenial face clouded, " Listen, if you're going to question what I do, just leave". So, rising, I took my leave of him.

Shortly, I came upon a young lady sitting on the ground. " May I join you?" I asked. "By all means. Hope you do not mind, I'm meditating. I'm a Zen Buddhist". I sat for a time and shortly, she began to stir. First, on rising, she strolled to a nearby ant hill and demolished it with her foot. "Why did you do that?" I asked. "The vile things interrupted my meditation". Then she bent, picked up some rounded stones and begin flinging them at the geese nearby. "Why are you doing that?" I asked once more. "Their vile honking prevented me from concentrating". "Don't Buddhist, particularly Zen, value all living things and profess nonviolence as a way of life?" "Listen, if you are going to question what I do and what I am, just leave me be" she said with her voice edged in irritation. So, rising, I left.

Continuing my stroll and pondering those I encountered, I happened upon a man on a bench reading the Bible. "May I sit?" I queried. "By all means, the bench is for both of us." His smile looked so sincere and joyous, I was moved to sit and take up conversation with him. He extolled his virtuous faith and the blessings it had brought him. In short time, the topic came to people of the opposite sex. His face became lewd and he spoke of the quasi-sexual encounters he had. " But aren't you a Christian?" I gasped. "Well, since there was no real penetration, it wasn't sex so I maintain my virginity". Scratching my head, I frowned and said I couldn't see that. His irritation begin to rise, " Do you question my honesty?" he began to scream. "How dare you?" Taken aback I asked, "Isn't it written that peace is a Christian's path?" "Fuck peace" he yelled, " I don't have to take this" and he leaped to his feet and angrily marched off leaving me both amazed and bewildered.

Rising, I continued my walk. I then came upon a girl drawing a circle in the earth. Stopping, I watched. She noted that I stopped. "I'm sorry, I'm a pagan and I am preparing a sacred spot." She said. "Do you mind if I watch?" asked I. "By no means, feel free. I have nothing to hide". She continued her preparations. " Our belief is earth based and we value honesty and honor". As she returned to her work, a cell phone buzzed from her bag, answering it she said " Yes, honey, it's going to be a bit longer aunt Jane has a few more chores for me to do." Hanging up, she explained that her husband did not know her faith and she had to deceive him. " Isn't that dishonest?" I asked. " Not when it protects my faith. I am being trained as a priestess and cannot be deterred." Bewildered I asked "So,it's all right to lie and deceive when it has to do with religion rather than being honorable and stating what you are?" " Listen, if you are going to bombard me with negativity, then go away." She briskly said. Shaking my head, I left the girl.

After a time, I came on a man with books spread before him on the picnic table. Looking up, he invited me to sit. I did so. "You are likely amazed at these books, but I'm not a learned man. I'm what you can call a seeker." "What's that?" I questioned. " Truth, life and all that there is.. where is it going, by what means and what abilities do people possess that are unseen." He began expounding on what he said. Our conversation ranged from the whimsical to the very deep. Heat rose and fell as each of us established point and counter point. Time flew and being late, I rose. he looked at me and smiled. " I am glad to have met you. We may not agree on everything, but you give me food for thought and cause me to examine myself, my actions and beliefs. That's good. We all need to do that". I heartily concurred and we exchanged telephone numbers that we may talk again.

The lesson I learned that day in the park was that many are not what they seem and a few are. It is actions and deeds that speak for us as to what we truly hold dear. When questioned, do we note: this is a fictionalized account for illustrative purposes. )"

3/10/2011 11:53:34 AM



Just felt compelled to blog after another brief discussion with someone. I know there are those who find my honesty a bit brutal at times. I may come across as arrogant, or condescending...really don't mean to offend anyone, honestly. I just find that life is way to short for games, and bullshit annoys me. So while, as my tagline suggests, I may be upfront about the factthat I am not seeking a relationship, or a "buddy" or pal..plainly put the only situation I seek is one that is mutually beneficial, and not just physically....while that may seem crass or rude or tacky to some..I really dont care; it's honest. So, lets touch on this "honesty" issue for a minute. And I am speaking to those of you on this site looking for a "good" girl, or your next wife or soul mate: GTFO!! Seriously? Do you really think that coming onto an adult SEX site is going to find your one true love? Really? You didn't come across this sites address by reading the church bulletin, or watching Lifetime movies, or volunteering at your local homeless shelter. You found it by either A) watching PORN, or you were on another adult SEX site. Come on, people...I am so sick to death of the innocent lines and crap. Hi! My name is so-and-so, and I would really like to get the chance to know you. Lets go have dinner and dancing, then I can take you back to meet the folks and fall in love. ANd for the ladies who want to be offended by what I say...get a reality are on here to get laid..and NOT by your knight in shining armor. I find these kinds of comments, and judgements towards my approach, especially amusing coming from people who have pics of their cocks/pussys and/or videos of being screwed in all manners. OK Think I'm done venting for the moment. Oh, and if by chance I missed offending anyone, please let me's still early in the week.

5/27/2010 8:41:07 PM
I suppose it is time for an update.  I am residing back in parkersburg and life is going very well.  I am back at work, back in school, and my daughter is thriving as never before.  Things DO happen for a reason.  All that happened only brought my children and myself closer than ever.  And in the process I fell in love.  *gasp*  Yes, I who didn't think it was possible, did finally fall in love.  I am no longer active in the lifestyle or looking for anyone.  I am still on here to keep up with old friendships, and have no problem making new ones.  My life, as many know, is an open book.  Siochain, mo charas!

2/21/2010 9:51:36 PM
As Lala has posted in the site—-I won my daughter back yesterday!!! Faith Marie is home where she belongs!! Yay!!! Not only was I awarded COMPLETE and SOLE custody—even in regards to all decision making and everything—he has NO VISITATION either. Faith never has to see him again. The judge realized what a danger he was, both physically and mentally to Faith. He is allowed phone contact, AT FAITH’S discretion—if she wants to call him, she can. He also dramatically increased his child support AND made him pay lost wages to anyone he had subpoened in to testify against me. Rick Follin is NO LONGER allowed to harass Faith or myself. The ravens are truly happy today! Faith looks amazing—beautiful—I am so proud of her. She stood her ground in court and told that judge everything! She has read all of your comments and posts, here and on other sites. Now—just to let you all know—Rick Follin has paganmystics—my page—on his favorites on his computer. Yes—he stalks me everywhere. But I find it amusing that he found this site—so let’s all give Mr Rick Follin a “special” pagan Hello! lmao Hope you’re having a great day today, Rick—cause trust—I am!!! lol So go ahead and stalk my pages—I really don’t care. I have absolutely nothing to hide; but you do, don’t ya, buddy? This is far from over—as long as you keep harassing those around me, I will not stop. I told you—Karma is not only a bitch, it’s a Celt and it’s name is Donna!
2/21/2010 9:51:06 PM
Well since I now know officially and “on record” that my ex is stalking my page and my blogs are now “evidence”, let me first say “Hello, Rick.” and “Thank you for reading, your Honor.” Now onto updating all of you on the current situation. We did have court on Monday—no, Faith was NOT there. According to my ex, Faith was still being held at a mental health facility—discharge date unknown as she was “refusing therapy”. So the judge moved our hearing to Jan 20th, as he wishes to speak to Faith in person. But he did give me full phone access to Faith until the 20th. (Mind you all calls are screened and recorded by my ex, as usual, but that’s ok) I at least got to hear my babygirl’s voice and tell her how much I love her. Now back to the case. I left court that day and drove straight to the facility where Faith was. I was unable to see her, but did speak at length with her therapist. It seems that Faith was actually released on SUNDAY, but my ex failed to come pick her up—and if he did not pick her up by midnight that night, the facility would report him to CPS and call me to get her. He picked her up at 8:30pm, and I called and spoke with her at 9pm. I was also informed that she was VERY cooperative with therapy—seeing her therapist EVERY day—and NO, she was NOT suicidal when she came in. And to dispel the awful rumors that have been passed around to everyone “he” called regarding this case—Faith did NOT slit her wrist or try to hurt herself. This was nothing more then an attempt to prolong the court case. So yesterday, in case you weren’t informed yet, Rick, I sent in a Petition for Contempt. Since the very beginning, in 1998, Faith has always been in my custody—up till 5 months ago. I have spent years buffering this child from the neglect and mental abuse she has had to sustain. And yes—neglect or withholding love and affection IS abuse. Yet I have ALWAYS tried my best to keep the lines of communication open for Faith and her father. He has chosen to not have a relationship with her. Now I will not sit here and blame anyone for my incarceration. Do I think what was done was shady? Certainly—the decent thing to do would have been to say “Hey Donna, look what I came across. You may want to take care of it.” And I would have. But that is neither here nor there. Honestly, if he had just taken the last 5 months and tried to build a relationship with his daughter, I would have been ok with things. But to take this child and use her as a weapon to hurt me is ABSOLUTELY unforgivable. *No, Rick, that is not a threat* Faith is a strong, young lady—surrounded by so much love. We WILL get through this. I miss her so very much, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And I have all the confidence in my daughter’s belief in my love—she knows how much I love her. And how terribly proud of her I am. Let’s just all keep the positive energy flowing. And please—no negative thoughts towards her father. Karma does work both ways, people. Instead, remember this: Do NOT respond to negative energy with negative energy, because neg + neg = you both lose. Remember that people who are negative to you, are only responding to how they feel inside, and you don’t have to accept their negative energy. “Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. As Ann Landers often said, “hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored.“” So lets not focus on the negative—lets just focus on the positive—keep Faith healthy and strong—and hope that her father realizes just how his hate towards me has not only costs him, but his child as well. Again, thank you all for your suport thru all of thiis. Siochain, mo charas! Donna
2/21/2010 9:50:37 PM
Ahhh, where to begin. I last blogged after the death of my father. Not long after that, I rturned to Parkersburg and begin to build a life there. I was just gettiing ready to sign on a house, I had enrolled at WVU-P to continue with my nursing, and was working at a job I loved. My daughter had gone back down to Charles Town to visit and say good-bye to friends. Out of the blue—her father calls her and wants her to visit. Bear in mnd he has not seen her—his choice—in 4 1/2 years. I did not deny her. That was Aug 11, 2009. On Aug 21st, 2009 when I came to pick her up, he had my daughter away from the house with his gf, and had the state police come and arrest me. My ex had cme across a capias for my arrest that I did not know existed. Apparently I had missed a hearing in 2005 while on probation. So, I was taken into custody—did my time—and was released New Years Day. During that time, my ex proceeded to make my daughter’s life a living hell. Cut her off from her family and friends, threw her cats outside, and mentally and physically abused her. I have letters from my daughter that she snuck thru friends to me that will rip your heart out. He knew the only way to hurt me was thru her. AAnd what better way then to lock me up and hurt her while I can’t do anything to stop it. CPS has been involved for a while now—the school even filed a report. So, we now have a custody case tomorrow in Family Court. The judge has ordered Faith to testify. She is almost 15 years old. Thursday I get a copy of request sent to the court asking for a continuance due to the fact that he has placed my daughter in a youth facility!! The judge, in his infinite wisdom, DENIED the continuance. So this is where we are now—-I have no idea where my daughter is, how she is, or if she’ll be there tomorrow. All I know is that I love her dearly and am very worried for her physical and mental well being. But...I do have faith in the wisdom of my ancestors. I do know that justice WILL prevail. And I most certainly know that my daughter IS of my blood—the same Celtic blood runs thru our veins. You can NOT break just make us stronger. Please all of you—keep Faith Marie in your thoughts—she has a very long road to recovery after all of this—but she WILL be ok.
7/4/2009 12:34:30 AM

As alot of you know, my father passed away on June 18th.  My father and I had a very tumultous relationship--we were very close when I was younger, but after my parents divorced it changed.  He did get custody of me--thats another long story--but it was not a good relationship at all.  As I have gotten older, and had children of my own, I did work to build some sort of relationship. At the end--we had made peace with each other, or rather I made peace with everything.  He was not a very good person--but he was my father, and I loved him.  That being said--I made my father a promise that I would be at his service to show my respect as his eldest child should.  Appearances were everything to my father.  The most frequent phrase I heard growing up was, "Don't you dare embarass me"--which of course I did everything I could to do so.  :D   

I am the only child of my father's first marraige--and not welcomed at all by my stepmother.  I am the exact duplicate of my mother--always have been--which is most of the reason.  I left home at 17--and never looked back.  My youngest sister is only 6 months older then my son.  I haven't seen, nor spoken to either of my sisters in 23 years.  Dysfunctional to say the leat--lol.  I was actually called by my stepmother and told not to come to the service or I'd be removed.  Crappy, I know--but I went.

I left last Wednesday from Parkersburg, WV ( I had brought my daughter here to stay while I was gone--tranny went out in my car and I had to get a rental)--and I drove to Texas.  I drove all Wednesday night, stopping in Hurrican Mills, TN (home of Loretta Lynn) on Thursday morning.  I spent most of the day just laying in my room and trying to sort out all of the unresolved emotions towards my father--ones I thought I had come to terms with.  I drove out to Loretta's Dude Ranch--and walked around the property.  Spent most of the time crying--I swear I have cried more this week then I have all my life.  I left out Friday morning and got to my friend's lake house in Brownwood, TX that night.  Got up the next morning and drove two hours to the service.

Without going into every minute detail--let me just say that it took all the courage I had to walk in there--amidst all my stepmother's family--people who hate me completely--and not run away.  I walked right up to the altar and placed the only picture I have of me and my father (I was 5 and we were happy) right next to his urn.  The big photo display they had was of him and my sisters and step brother--and not one of me.  I turned around and went and sat towards the back of the chapel.  Her entire family had taken up the pews reserved for family.  Thats when I realized that not one single person from my father's family had come.  NOT ONE--except for me.  I was overcome by such sadness--for my father; enormous amount of pity that any person could leave this world and NO ONE from their family would be there.  I thought of all the wasted years, all the times lost---the only grandchildren he ever had were my two children, and they didn't even know him.  I sat there, by myself, ignoring the whispers passing around "She's here.  Donna Jean came. Can you believe she came?  Why isn't she with the family?  Look at them--how horrible--they're completely ignoring her."  I kept my head up the entire time.  Even thru my tears--I kept my dignity--I didn't even acknowledge the situation.  I wasn't there for them.  I was there for my daddy--the one who coached me in baseball and basketball, who took me on road trips across the country and made stops at places like Loretta Lynn's Dude Ranch, the one who taught me to ski when we lived in Germany, the daddy who took my fishing on the Concho River---long before all the bad stuff.  I showed them that class is bred not bought.  And I felt so utterly alone. 

When the service was over, I made my way to the front and said goodbye to my daddy--placing the rosary I had brought for him on his urn.  I took my picture, spoke with some people from his work and left.  I drove non-stop 5 hours to Big Lake, TX--crying the entire way.  On that drive it finally hit me how truly alone I am. 

I got to Big Lake at about 4:30--and of course the ENTIRE town was at the park--it was the annual Goat and Chili Cook-off.  It was good to be home, surrounded by friends who truly care about me-and what better way to grieve then Budlight and brisket.  But even surrounded by all these people who are my friends--I felt alone.  I spent the next few days visiting people, speaking with lawyers, and seeing my former residents at the nursing home I worked at.

At the Care Center is a former patient of mine--she is 99 yrs old and Cajun--came to us after Hurricane Katrina.  At 99 dementia has set in--but she has always had "the sight"--and will pop off with reflections and predictions that are uncanny.  She recognized me instantly--that brought tears to my eyes.  "Ma petite cherie, stop running from love.", is the first thing she says to me.  What?  lol  Everyone is standing around and asking what she is talking about.  " Mama, I am fine" I tell her.  "Non, non--you are not fine, cherie--you are so sad and lonely.  And scared.  Stop being so scared."  When asked why she is saying these things to me--they think she is blabbering--she says "I know how you live your life, cherie--you think you are strong, that you don't need love--but you do.  More then ever."  I was floored.  *Note to self--stay away from 99 yr old Cajun women*  She began to ramble on about crawfish and such after that--and speaking in french to the empty chair next to her.  But what she said shook me to the core.  She's the third person this month to tell me I am sad. 

Now most of you who know me know that I am not a "sad" person to be around.  At least I try not to be.  And I am the biggest advocate of "singlehood" if there ever was one.  I am the ultimate "unicorn".  lol  I value every bit of my freedom.  But this week has really made me look at what price I pay for that freedom.

4/21/2009 6:16:53 PM
I suppose I truly am the consumate bachelorette. I am very happy being single--at times ecstatically happy. In 40 years, thru 3 marraiges, 3 LTR, and various other relationships--I can say that I have honestly NEVER been in love. I have been in "extreme like", have cared greatly for a few, and obviously lusted for many--but never in love. Maybe it just isn't in me; perhaps I am just wired wrong. Who knows? Now, that isn't to say I don't believe love exist, because I do. I've seen it. Just not for myself.

People always ask, "What is it you're looking for?" That's easy--I'm looking to make friends, enjoy my life and have mind-blowing sex. lol That is all I truly desire right now. Because in all honesty, the man who could knock my socks off hasn't appeared. My standard answer is "Someone who can fulfill me mentally, spiritually and physically." Seems simple enough, doesn't it? But you'd be amazed. I joke and say I am a multi-faceted freak--and that is very true. All of my lfe is multi-faceted, which is why it is so difficult to find someone to meet those requirements.

Mentally: I am not a genius, by any means, but I do have a little more in the brain then sex. (I know, I know shocking to many) I do keep abreast of local and world news--more world then local. lol BBC is one of my favorite broadcast. I am very active in supporting Irish independence--I make no bones about where my loyalties lie. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. I have an enormous amount of newspapers from around the world that I read on-line. I love history, archeticture, art, music and sports. (European football being my favorite. Go Reds! YNWA) I am just as content spending the afternoon in the National Art Gallery staring at Cezanne paintings, as I am hanging out in the pits at Winchester Speedway watching my friends race dirt track.

Spiritually: I am Paganacht, which is Irish Reconstructionist. I follow Celtic spiritual path that pre-dates Christianity; Druid to be exact. No I am not a witch, no I do not practice Wicca--and no, Wicca is NOT Celtic; it is only 60 years old, invented by a marketing genius named Gerald Gardner. I do, however, respect any and all paths--whatever brings you peace and happiness is fine by me. I try my best not to judge others; I would appreciate the same courtesy. My ideal mate would follow the same path, or at the very least be pagan. It would be highly difficult for me to maintain a serious relationship with a Christian fundamentalist. lol

Physically: Now here is where it gets tricky, lol. I am not a true submissive, however I am very submissive sexually. I want a man who knows what he wants---and takes it. One who commands attention walking in a room, by his presence alone. I want to feel secure when he places his hand on the small of my back to guide me, or holds the back of my head firmly as he kisses me--making my legs go weak. I am not looking for a Dom--I am looking for a dominant man. There IS a difference. Dominance is a character trait you are born with--it is not something you learn in a class or read in a book. Either you are or you're not. There is no middle ground. I am very active in my local swinging community. Turning 40 was a break thru for me in many ways, least of all sexually. I do love group sex--MFM or more. I have what I refer to as "sexual ADD" -- just cant be satisfied with only one partner--need variety in my life. I am bi-sexual, however I am not particularily fond of eating pussy. Hence the reason I say "I prefer to catch, not pitch". lol Although, apparently when drinking Irish car bombs I become quite the lesbian. And a pretty good one from what I hear. lol I am what is referred to as a "unicorn" in the swinging lifestyle. The elusive, mythical single female. Here is where I need to interject---just because I am single and like to swing, does not mean that I will fuck anything that stands still longer then 5 seconds. I may not have any morals, but I DO have some discretion. Maybe not alot, but some. I am also referred to as a "cougar" sometimes--lol--I don't mind that one. I am a female over 40 who likes younger men. I don't go below 24. I also like men my age, men older; hell, just men in general. As for my likes and dislikes in bed---I like to be dominated; can't say that enough. I am not a painslut or masochist, but I do prefer it rougher than most vanilla women. Bondage is my absolute passion!! Give me ropes and I cream myself. lol But, and I can't state this enough--bondage is not something you just play with. It requires an immense amount of trust. That is why I do not mix the two lifestyles as a norm. I keep the swinging and BDSM seperate. Now if I could meet someone who could incorporate both--I would be tickled to death.

So, do we see my delima? If I could find an Irish republican dominant Druid, who is intelligent and a rope-master who swings--I'd be all set. Oh yeah--if he wears a uniform that would be even better. lol Alas, I don't foresee that happening, at least not any time in the near future. So until then, I will keep on as I am--enjoying myself and all that this lifestyle has to offer. Happy hunting and siochain, mo charas!
3/18/2009 2:24:21 PM
Well apparently no one knows how to read anymore and I find myself having to repeat the same crap over and over.  I am not anyone's "subbie" or slave or whatever.  Do not address your emails to me in such a manner or you WILL get a smartass reply. 

As my profile states--I am looking for a man who knows what he wants--and how to get it.  A man that commands attention when he walks in a room by his very presence alone.  A man that when he places his hand at the small of my back to guide me, makes my knees weak---or can kiss me and make me legs buckle.  You know who you are.

No where in my profile does it state that I am looking for a submissive man, or a switch.  It does not state that I am looking to join a farm or poly family--and it most certainly does not state that I am looking to "find god" on collarme.  So please stop with the offers to join your family, cult, or be disciplined with Christian love. 

It has been suggested that I am truly a submissive who just needs to find the right dom.  That may be--and if so, he will resemble my earlier description.  He will be confident in who he is, self-assured and able to make me weak.     And yes, there is a big difference between arrogance and confidence.  Do not mistake the two--arrogance just makes me mean. 
7/5/2008 10:45:50 AM
Perhaps I am not making myself clear, or most men do not take the time to get past the word "submissive".  I am NOT a submissive.  I am submissive in the bedroom in the terms that I prefer to be dominated sexually.  I call NO man sir, especially those online who, by no means, have earned my respect.  I do not get into humiliation and all that crap.  So before you waste my time with offers, please read the ENTIRE profile, including the likes and dislikes.  Thank you and good luck to all of you in your search.   Siochain!!  Donna
 Age: 34
 Salem, OR, Oregon