SinDragon

It’s a strange realization to understand one’s self and know who/what you are. I’ve come to understand myself and personality traits I possess. The qualities I’ve always accepted as undeniable facts about “who I am” because they are at the core of who I am and what I want.

I was born cunning and strong both physically and mentally.  However emotions/humanity were (and to an extent they remain) beyond my comprehension. I had to learn comprehend understand and adapt to the world I was born into. I’ve come to understand myself in many ways and have (at the very least) begun to take notice to certain characteristics or habits I exhibit.

I can almost see myself as a puzzle all the tiniest little pieces (each representing a single solitary detail) fitting together to form the creature. Everything from the small insignificant details regarding my heritage and the traits that I inherited (or at the very least share) with members of my family. The mannerisms I assimilated from my encounters with people. My core believes and rules. As well as simple details regarding hobbies preferences habits body language facial expressions etc etc.

As I dwell on this subject, during this time of reflection, my mind began fitting the pieces together in a different fashion. Certain “pieces” began to fit together in my mind, a connection I had never made before. Some would tell you I’m complicated, difficult, cold/distant, but “to thine own self be true” and to my eyes I’m simple. I can be arrogant over confident foolhardy jealous and territorial.  I always known I was loyal, always been protective, always trusting, and always hated being alone. However none of those pieces had fit together like this.

The previously listed qualities were held together with a few mannerisms/habits. I always liked to terrorize or play with cats, never liked dogs (in fact most dogs of any kind dislike me). I’ve spend quite a lot of time sprawled out on the floor simply out or preference or habit. My preferred way of fighting, in which I almost exclusively use my hands. I’ve always been a rather hairy guy, several have compared me to a bear, but that’s not quite right.

I’m a dog

And not a dog in the sense that such a word would be used to insult a man such as my father. I’m a dog in the animalistic sense loyal protective trusting. My preference to be on the floor or always curled up with someone I love. Just like a dog I’m quick to forgive and return (sometimes foolishly). I can’t stand being pent up or restrained I’d take any level of pain willingly over confinement. I find myself forever balanced and teetering on the edge (but rarely falling in) of depression and sadness when I’m alone, and when I’m with people I like(especially people I’ve developed attachment to) I couldn’t be happier.  There are a few other details that could be added to this “thing” but it makes sense to me at least.

I was born a feral animal a beast a dog a mongrel, but this animal was born lucky. I know what is expected of a human/person and I’ve become increasingly good a faking it.

Who says you can’t teach and old dog a new trick

(testing a theory