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The most difficult, perhaps the most annoying thing about trying to find someone on this site or others like it is the grave amount of mis-communication and misunderstandings (and of course, perception problems) that exist. Please spend a bit of time reading what I type before jumping to any conclusions. If you agree with what I have written, I shall then be most happy to hear from you.
What I seek is something that seems to be elusive. I seek a position of servitude. I seek to be held accountable for everything in my life. I seek to be responsible where commanded, disciplined/punished when correction is needed. I seek to be property, a cuckold, a toy, a possession, a plaything, a submissive, a slave - you name it, that's probably what it is. I seek to be utilized and commanded as desired, to be controlled and conditioned, to be scolded and molded.
While I do not have absolutes in the person that I am seeking, I do have thoughts on the issue. Nothing is by any means a hard limit. I know that I respond well to younger women - something that I can explain later if requested. Age is not necessarily an issue, therefore, but a preference is for a younger female. Race is also not an issue, nor is your marital status. Please do not email me from half-way across the country (or another for that matter) demanding that I come meet you and the likes. Travel is wonderful and I very much enjoy it, but rude demands are out of the question.
What I do NOT want is to be a sex partner, a "submissive in the bedroom" that you tie up and tease. I'm not looking to be someone's lover. I don't want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner, your equal. I can find that in the vanilla world. I didn't come to this site to find my "true love"; rather, I came here to find my Commander, my Domme, my Goddess - whatever she is called, that is what I seek. It does not matter if you are married or the likes; after all, I'm not the least bit interested in being a sexual partner.
Lastly, I am not looking for any type of so-called "Pro Domme." Calling yourself a "pro" and charging exorbitant amounts of money for BD/SM is not only ridiculous but a complete turn-off. If I'm paying you to 'Dominate' me, you're only doing it for the money. You have absolutely *zero* investment otherwise. If you wish to argue I'm compensating you for your time, I remind you that I will charge you triple to compensate for *my* time. Oh, yes, if you claim there are more subs than Dommes, I happily agree. Feel free to have them pay you for your 'time'; that doesn't take away from the fact that you're only doing it for the money. Move along, I'm not your huckleberry.
It is true, I'm much older than the 18-25 year old male subs who litter this site and others like it. I'm certainly not a hunky spring chicken. I'm far from perfect, but I'm quite genuine and sincere. However, if you're seeking a perfect specimen....If that is what you seek, by all means, please flee from my profile and look for those types. But, if you are seeking someone who is genuine, honest, experienced and is completely capable of being what you want and need him to be, then by all means you have found the *right* profile.
If you seek someone to use, mold, sculpt, shape, abuse, discipline, punish, command and the likes, I shall be most eager to hear from you. I am quite verbose and willing to answer any and all questions.
One last note: I do have photos. I'll share them with someone who would like to correspond versus being part of the 'meat market' on CM.
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<p> *sigh* </p>
<p>If you <b>want someone to pay you, you probably want a <em>SUGAR DADDY</em>!</b>, not a sub/slave.</p>
<p>There's <b>nothing</b> wrong with wanting a 'Sugar Daddy,' but so-called 'dommes' on here are proving they're wanting a Sugar Daddy more than a sub/slave.</p>
<p>Perhaps you so-called 'Dommes' would better be 'served' on a Sugar Daddy dating website???</p>
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Do any of you so-called "Dommes" know what the term "bi" or "bisexual" means? If you claim to be "bi" but you are posting "Female looking for Male" advertisements, this means -- shock and surprise! -- you are seeking a MALE!
But, no, no, that seems to be wrong. *So* *many* *dumbasses* who post in the "Women seeking Men" section, claiming "I'm bi/bisexual but NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN WOMEN ONLY" ..... yeah, you have a MAJOR problem understanding what "Women seeking Men" and "bisexual" means.
If you want a woman, CHANGE YOUR TARGET PROFILE SECTION TO WOMAN SEEKING WOMEN! It's NOT THAT HARD!
"Hi! I'm a man who wants a female Domme but NO WOMEN MEN ONLY!"
Duh? Duuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh.........stupid 'domme' says what?
p.s. If this applies to you, deal with it and FIX YOUR STUPID AD! Don't blame me because you can't fucking figure out how to use this site! |
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Again, I laugh at the so-called "pro-dommes" who insist on a 'tribute' up-front, nothing promised, nothing guaranteed. This is for the alleged privilege of speaking with said pro-domme.
Let's be clear: Female Dominants are indeed rarer than male Dominants. However, this doesn't *entitle* you to *anything*. And those of you who are insisting on a tribute can't figure out why so many men don't or won't follow through. If you act like an entitled spoiled brat, you're going to be treated like the way you're acting.
You may insist that your position DEMANDS such tribute or that you are completely WORTHY of that tribute. *yawn* Booooooring! Unoriginal! Move on, let someone else come along who actually has something to offer! Just by virtue of being a female dominant, you believe you have the right to charge money for someone to contact you.
I'm just wondering, how many of you pro-Dommes make more than $30,000.00 *just* from your pro-Domme 'business?' I'm guessing few of you even make half of that, if even that. If you claim you do make that, please, share a W-2 with the world. We'd like to see your proof of income.
A female domme who is worthy of adoration and worship is worth of that because of who and what she is, not because she is entitled and demanding. You draw a submissive/slave to you by offering what is wanted and needed. Some want the "leather and whips" type. Others prefer a friendly Domme. Some want a cold Domme. Others might want the "little girl Domme." To each his own. Charging money for initial contact cheapens the experience, both for you and the sub/slave.
Now, what makes you think that you are all that, a bag of chips and a pickle that you can make such a claim that your position *demands* a tribute? A bit of common sense on behalf of you so-called "pros" states that you will meet with your 'client' first and find out his needs and wants and set things up from there. I'm a consultant in the 'real world.' When I receive a message, I don't state "I AM THE BEST THERE EVER WAS AND WILL BE! YOU WILL SEND ME $$$ JUST FOR MY TIME!"
This won't work. Nope, not at all.
What's that, you say? D/s is different? You *have* to do that? It's a *must*? Well, then, if you believe that, you just proved that you think of your subs/slaves as nothing more than tricks. Think "prostitute." You don't care about your work; rather, you want want quid pro quo.
What's that? You say I'm a prostitute because I charge money for my services as consultant? Well, let's compare, shall we?
I'm highly educated, well-trained, professional, have many customer testimonials (plus numerous repeat customers) and work within the auspices of several professional national and international agencies. I provide services to customers by meeting with them (free of charge) to learn more about their wants, needs and hopes. I map out plans. I set fees that are suited to what the job is and what the customer can pay. I have the credentials, the experience and the professional and educational training that backs up not just my claims but my abilities as well. In short, I am a real professional using real tools with real training.
You're just some lady who talks silly and has a whip. You type in ALL CAPS. You act in a stereotypical fashion and set up rules that have no function, no form, no reason for existing. You snag a few people here and there but don't have much to look at as far as volume. Your customers change frequently. those with whom you claim to enter a relationship don't seem to last too long with you. You have no real professional training. You don't have educational credentials. You don't belong to any organizations that provide ongoing training, ongoing education and professional development.
You call yourself a "Pro." I call myself by my first name. You insist on money up front or, rather, a tribute just to speak with you. I meet with people many times, on my own dime, to foster and nurture a business relationship. I have real contracts that are binding and indicate what my customer is paying for. You take the money, no questions asked, and don't offer any guarantee if the customer isn't satisfied. I do what I do because I love it. I'm so nuts I would do it for free (and I provide a LOT of pro bono consulting). You won't even consider talking to most without some sort of up-front fee. Most importantly, if you demand an up-front 'tribute,' what *exactly* are you offering? What will you provide? Do you offer a sample contract so that your tricks...excuse me, I mean your 'customers' can peruse in order to determine if you are going to fulfill their needs?
Oh, right, wait, sorry, I forget: It's not about the sub/slave, it's all about *you*. Your philosophy is, "Pay me, slave, and I neither promise nor guarantee anything. Roll the dice, take your chances."
Wow. Even *my* customers know what they'll get in the form of negotiation, contracts and all fees explained up-front.
So, you were saying that I'm no different?
Dommes, get a fucking clue! If you want a sub/slave, get off of your high horse, quit your completely misplaced sense of entitlement and then, maybe, you might figure out why you're not having much luck. You bitch, moan and whine about the fakes online, yet YOU, Miss I-Am-Entitled-Domme, are the major contributing factor to this problem. If you need a simpler example to help you figure out why you aren't entitled to anything and that you absolutely need to talk with the potential sub/slave, I give you this:
You're hungry. You want food. You find a place that says, "We offer something that might or might not be food." They won't show you the menu. You can't ask about what they do and do not serve. They won't tell you what you can expect once inside. However, they insist that you pay up-front a 'tribute' to them because they're so fucking awesome, just for the pleasure of getting your foot through the front door. Once that happens, they ask you to pay for *every step you take* to your table. That is, if you're fortunate enough to be promised that perhaps maybe a table *might* exist. You can *see* tables, but you're not really being led *towards* the table. But for every step you take, despite what direction you're moving, this establishment owner charges you a fee. Once in a while, randomly, without any forewarning, she may not charge you or she may ask for more money than you've been paying.
Mind you, you're still very hungry. You haven't been shown a menu. You aren't being given any idea what's promised once and IF you arrive at your table. You're just given promises of what MAY happen. And yet you keep paying this woman to lead you in circles, pay her to not be direct and up-front with you, pay her to suck your wallet dry, all on the assumption -- made by *you*, the customer, and vaguely and indirectly implied by *her* -- that you're gonna get something outstanding...if you just keep tossing money to her.
Remember, she's special. She has a special joint here, one that might possibly offer a few morsels of what you're seeking. But, hell, you really don't know. You hear (from her, naturally) that there are many, many others who just love coming here to eat and getting their fill and they just *love* this place. Yet you can't seem to find these customers. No names. No references. And, strangely, you don't seem to see anyone else here paying but *you*. However, you plod forward in hopes that you'll arrive soon.
...and the dance goes on for a long time. If you're very stupid, it goes on for as long as your money holds out. Once you're broke, you'll QUICKLY be shown the door, faster than it took you to make the dizzying journey inside, berated, belittled and mocked for daring to not have what it takes to be a part of this smoke-and-mirrors promise of paradise. YOU FOOL!
In the end, you're left with a tremendous amount of debt and an overwhelming sense of hunger that you, like a moron, forgot to take care of.
If that example went over your head, you're too stupid to be a Domme of any type -- and this goes for men as well.
Oh, and if I hit a nerve with this posting, you are welcome to send a *polite* message to me. I'll be quite happy to respond to your message. Sadly, though, if you send a message and then immediately block me, I'll be quite happy to post your screen name along with your message for all to see.
in short: GET OVER YOURSELF!
p.s. I must add that there's NOTHING wrong with a Domme and a sub/slave who BOTH willingly enter a financial agreement. This is completely valid and appropriate as both are stating up-front that I will do this if you do that. That's part of legit 'quid pro quo.'
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I take the time to send decent letters. They are more than three paragraphs. I write every letter from scratch. I take time to send details. What do I get in response?
"Call me at this number xxx-xxx-xxxx."
What would make you send me a phone number without any additional information? You won't know who I am. You won't know anything about me. You won't even know why I'm calling until I start to spit out details.
It will be then that you'll go "Oh, right, yeah, you're from collarme. Well, I'm a 'pro' domme and I charge blah blah blah and if you want to schedule a session..."
No, I don't. Probably no one else does, either.
If I send you a lengthy letter and you haven't the courtesy to respond somewhat in kind, I won't play games by calling you. Have the decency to respond with a letter that is somewhat detailed, even a "No, thank you" is sufficient. Don't get off on an ego trip thinking that since you're a Domme, you don't *have* to send such letters. You're human, just like me, and despite what I might be seeking, courtesy is something we all should share.
If you are going to do the laughable thing and call yourself a "Pro," you'd damned sure as well better state that up-front in your ad instead of being a time-waster and trying to sucker me and others into a phone call.
Also, why the hell would anyone want to play "online" only? Or why would someone say "I will be your Domme but not in real time."
????
Can anyone logically explain that fucking nonsense to me?
I'll explain it by analogy:
"You sure are hungry, yes, you are. You really want this nice, juicy hamburger I have here. Yeah, it's really good, and it'll help you fill up. But, no, you can't really have it. You can only look at it from afar. You can't touch it. Nope, sorry, you can just see pictures of it. I'll tell you how great it smells and how wonderful it would taste if you could eat it, but you're not going to get it. Oh, and please send money for having the privilege of looking at the hamburger."
Online only is stupid. So is calling yourself a "pro" You're a pro at....what exactly? Any licensure you have? Any certifications? Or are you just stating that you charge money for things you do? If that's the case, I'm a professional driver, a professional gum-chewer and a professional journal writer. Please send me $100.00 for looking at my journal.
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"Dominate" - verb.
"Dominant" - noun.
You cannot be a "Dominate." You are a Dominant. You do not Dominant someone, you Dominate them. Please learn the difference between a noun and a verb. If you don't understand that difference, you are not intelligent enough to be my Dominant.
I will not pay you money. You are not a "Pro." You have no real training of which to speak. Who trained you? What certifications/licenses do they hold? What governing body certified/licensed you as a "Pro?" Do you receive yearly trainings? Do you pay income tax on your "Pro" sessions? Are you fully insured? Do you have a price list that is viewable by all? May I see your business plan? What is your Federal tax I.D. number? I mean, after all, you're putting yourself out there as a "Pro," you have no real training, no real license, no certification, no tax ID #, no liability insurance....so what the hell makes you think you have *any* right to call yourself a "Pro?"
Really. Pay you money to provide something that I can (and do) for free? Calling yourself a "Pro" because you charge money is the same thing as me thinking that, if I go to garage, I'm a car.
Oh, yes, one more thing: Webcam/phone/IM sessions are not only pointless, they're highly stupid. Nothing - absolutely nothing - is gained from playing wanna-be behind a phone or a computer. Real life or nothing. It's simply not worth it.
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Between subs and Doms, I don't know who whines and bitches more about "fakes" on the site. From my perspective, about 99.9% of all so-called "Dommes" are fakes, liars and game-players with no intentions of ever going through with their alleged desires. I'm real, you should be as well. If you're not, please do us all a favor and get off the site. this applies equally to subs and Dommes.
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I have some things in my life for which I need to be held accountable. Things that have happened in my past, things that require someone to ensure that I am repentant and corrected for these errors. This is not a tall task to ask of someone. Does this someone exist who is willing to hold me accountable and undertake the necessary steps for my correction?
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Photos....
Why, oh why, is it so bloody important to see a photograph of the person first? Is that your first criterion of judgment? Are you so focused on your superficial needs that you ignore the person coming up to you, politely and respectfully in their approach, that you brush them aside and ignore who and what they are only to be interested in their appearance? This is the SAME THING as meeting someone in a bar/wherever, they spend 10-15 minutes giving you a good introduction talk and you ignore EVERYTHING they say only for you to ask, "What is your credit score?'
If you want a photo FIRST to judge someone, PUT IT IN YOUR FUCKING PROFILE and make it CLEAR that you judge with your eyes -- all things come after your decision whether or not said person meets your physical criteria! Be honest, "Dommes." If you want to judge appearances, say so. Make it clear. I'm done emailing the super-majority who want and ONLY want a photo on the first email. |
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Please, allow me to help with a few suggestions (you know who you are if this applies to you!)
- If you show yourself naked or parts thereof, expect a lot of replies from horny men! Naked = sexual invitation on a site like this, or, any other for that matter. If you want a respectful sub/slave, don't act in a way that is disrespectful to your position! You show me hooters and/or a shot of your crotch, I'm assuming you want sex.
- *sigh* Please, please, PLEASE stop with the "angel" names. FallenAngel, BeginningAngel,SweetAngel,Angel Eyes, Angel Mistress, Angel Above, Demon's Angel, Angel's Angel....you ain't an angel, you're far from it, and, most importantly, angels don't exist. It's a silly-assed, 7th-grade cutesy-pie name for a little girl. I imagine many others along with myself have a *real* hard time wanting to submit to someone named "Angel's_Scarred_Wings."
- Gor: It's only a book, and a lousy one at that. Get over it, and, more importantly, get over yourself.
- Being "goth" isn't cool. If you think it is, you have no idea what "Gothic" really means.
- On that note, if you insist you *are* a Goth, I've a few thousand Roman troops to whom I'd like to introduce you.....
- Don't send an email that is your initial email with bossy/domineering tones. Those are fun to read, re-post on forums and then immediatley delete!
- One final thought: DON'T BOTHER WRITING IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION TO EVER WRITE BACK OR YOU'RE ONLY SOMEWHAT SURE YOU WANT TO COMMUNICATE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I've said it before, here I go again: Learn how to reply in a timely fashion! Taking more than a week to send a response is an insult. Taking more than a week to send a two or three line resposne is your way of saying, "Sorry, I'm far too shallow and self-centered to spend the time writing a letter to you."
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Wow. The overwhelming number of fakes from this site impresses me. I read a lot about how men are criticized for their fakery, but so far I've encountered a huge number of poseurs, wanna-bes, never-have-beens, clueless wanderers and "just looking" types.
I also keep receiving very short one or two-line emails, usually with a great number of misspelled words. By the way, the words are "you are" not "u r," and the number two ("2") is used to represent a quantity, not a preposition ("to," "too"). If you are that sloppy of a speller and/or you cannot provide details about who/what you are, who/what you're seeking, then I have no reason to believe you're capable of doing such on the phone or in person. It's not that hard to spend a little time writing a short email with properly spelled words, in addition to adding some detail. The expectation that I'm going to be the one who writes the emails while you respond with one-liners is done.
Oh, and if you don't have the courtesy to write back when you say you will, or, at least send a message stating that you shall be in touch with me shortly, don't bother wasting my time. Poor ability to correspond is a huge "Bye Bye" on my list. Please, don't tell me how super-busy you are or that you're just SO swamped. If that's the case, *you cannot handle a sub/slave and you have no business looking for one*!
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I've been asked these questions a few time so here I'm presenting the answers:
"Are you interested in being a houseboy/servant?" Yes. Very much so.
"Do you have a problem with household chores?" No.
"Do you like pain?" Of course. Read my interests.
"Do you want a live-in 24/7 arrangement?" Right off the bat, no. I need to get to know someone at first. I'm not going to receive one email, throw up my hands and scream "Hallelujiah! I've found Her!" and then sign over all of my possessions. All things take time, trust and the likes.
"Will you serve in a multiple-sub household?" Not at the same time, no. I'll serve, but one-on-one. I don't have a desire to serve side-by-side with another sub UNLESS said sub/slave is female. That, for me, would work just fine.
"Are you SURE you're a sub/slave?" Yes. I am asked this a *lot* because I'm educated and I know what I want and I know what I do not want. Remember, just because my ad says I'm a sub/slave doesn't mean I'm going to lay down and let you completely dominate me right off the bat. I don't care how great you think you are, until I say "You are my Domme, I accept you as such," you're my equal.
"Will you serve a bisexual slave?" Um, no. I'm totally fine with straight/gay/bi/whatever, but I'm not interested in ANY sort of relationship where one of the primary functions is sexual contact. My profile quite clearly explains that. If I don't want sexual relationships, why on earth would I want to engage in sexual relationships with a sub/slave?
"Are you okay with me [female] being in charge of everything?" Um, yes, quite. I absolutely accept Female Supremacy, that Women are in all ways superior to men. I firmly believe that Women are creators, the movers, the shakers, the power-holders. You have *no idea* how much I believe that. I love women. I adore women. I want to serve them, please them and remember that man comes from Woman, not vice-versa.
There! I hope that clears up some of those questions. Let me know if you have more, I'll keep making a F.A.Q.!
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I've thankfully been in touch with a few people who seem genuine and sincere in their desires. This has been a most fortunate turn of events. I'm highly grateful that some sense of genuine Domination exists on this site. Horay!
I'm still baffled by those who post with exactly what they're seeking, then I send them a reply and poof! They read the email, don't EVER respond (for some it's been months) but keep on posting what they're seeking, even adding new journal entries. I figure, if you're not interested, simply say, "Thanks but no thanks." Those four words aren't that hard to say. I've said them numerous times before. I also encourge users that, if your profile is vague and you don't really specify what it is you're seeking, don't bother posting a profile in the first place. Some of these profiles are just stupid. If you say, "Come get me boys here I am!" exactly *how* should that be interpreted? And coming from a so-called 'Domme?' If any Domme, a real Domme, were to post that, the quality of her subs/slaves would be highly suspect at best.
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Read before you send a message! Read before you send a message! Read before you send a message! Is that so hard to ask?
I've met a few people from this site in real life and despite having conversations online and on the phone, some people are incapable of being honest. I have a photo on my profile and it's me. I don't lie about who or what I am. Yet I've had some people send photos to me of other people and then try to pass off as being the user in question. I think WHEN WE MEET IT'LL BE OBVIOUS, DON'T YOU?
Don't lie to me and say you're unmarried/uninvolved and then turn around and tell me in person, "By the way, I have a husband BUT HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT THIS." Fine, bring him along if he knows. If you are involved, FINE! Just don't lie about it!
Don't lie and say you are seeking a 24/7 committment from ONE PERSON only to find out that you have other subs/slaves and that you're only looking to add to your stable.
While I'm on that subject, don't lie about your income, where you live, the car you drive or any of that superficial crap. Be honest!
(Do you get the point here? Is it painfully clear that HONESTY is important?)
Look, I don't care if you're married (as long as you have permission and vice-versa) or if you drive a Datsun or you live in a double-wide trailer. I don't care as long as you're honest and happy with who/what you are, what you want or where you want things to go. If you are unsure about things, chances are you are not a Dominant. If you are lying, you're not worthy of my time and I'll gladly let others know about your lies. Without question. Without hesitation.
Be honest. Know thyself.
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