ScarletBlade

   To me, dominance and submission is a very fragile thing. A Dominant must realize that their submissive has chosen to serve them. In all actuality, the submissive has the most control, but many don’t see how such a thing is possible. However, if a submissive needs comfort, is it not the dominant’s job to notice and give it to them? If they need a beating, to be coddled, to be scolded, to be looked at, then it is the dominant’s job to recognize it and do so, is it not? It is actually very hard to be a dominant, because often enough a submissive will have absolutely no idea what they really need or crave consciously. When the Dom must determine what is needed, usually without the sub saying anything, things can get tricky. Also, it is often enough that subs may not speak up about what they need either because of the Dom or because of something internalized. Just because a submissive does not come to their Dom and say “This is what I need” doesn’t mean that they have a problem with that particular Dom. Sometimes a sub will not speak about their wants or needs because they worry about their Dom’s reaction, but more often, I believe, it has to do with the sub themselves. No matter how hard a sub works on it, I do not believe they will ever fully come to speak about their wants and needs openly if they have this problem.

   I, myself, have this problem. I don’t understand it. I don’t know what it is, but very often unless I am asked, I wont speak up about what I want or need. Or think I want or need. I can say this, because even with my former, I rarely asked for things outside of normal needs like bathroom or food. I also know that when I have problems I prefer to keep them to myself. I have been working on that one, trying to bring up problems instead of keeping them to myself or only bringing them up when asked, and I will admit that that is something I personally have problems with. I cannot just openly say something is wrong, and I think it’s a lot like what I realized before. I am very submissive at heart. I can be very sadistic, too, but I love to please and to be a good girl. So the problem I have is that begging for something to not happen, asking for a decision to be changed, bringing a problem, want, or need up, they all have the same problem for me. After all, it’s supposed to be whatever my Dom(s) want. If they want something, and I beg or ask for it to be changed, then I am begging or asking for them to not get what they want. If I bring a problem, want, need, etc up, I am saying their way is wrong, or that they aren’t doing something right. And that seems wrong to me. I understand it is necessary so that things will run smoothly, but I want to please those I have submitted to so deeply that I’d rather keep things to myself. It’s the wrong mindset, I know, considering it wont work if these things aren’t said, but I can’t help it, usually. It just… happens. And I really need to work on it because maybe things would be easier and run smoother if I fixed that. I’m not sure, but I suppose I will have to work on it and see what happens, if I can. I really don’t know how to fix it or get help right now.

If you believe I am wrong in anything I have said, or have questions or comments, feel free to let me know somehow.