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About RuheMaus
I am a 29 year old Poly guy happily married to LadyBugBlue. About 9 years in the scene learning every sensation play technique I can find, designer of unique toys, DJ for Electric Firehouse Radio, and help out/run a few OL sites & areas geared towards BDSM so as to inform & share ideas.
As for WHAT I am, as a Dominant I am a Gentleman's Dominant. I'm also trying to earn my leathers. I will bottom with the right person, and am experimenting a little on that side of me. Basically, I am what I am with whomever I am with. I am no longer trying to set myself 'I am always this', and learning to be flexible in this fun world we all live in.
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So, I have the chance to move to Vancouver, BC for a job in 7 months...? I got a lot of thinking to do.? I'm thinking of MAYBE taking the job, work it for 2 years or so to get my own style down, then move to Seattle or Portland to do my own thing...? We'll see...
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I've been exploring my submissive side lately, and it has me more and more confused.? I think part of it that has me confused is I do like topping.? i enjoy it a LOT.? And I do worry at times that in exploring this side of me, some might not ever see my dominant side.? Also, I freely admit I've had some VERY bad experiences in experimenting with it in the past...
The clincher was being at the recent hairplay workshop.? I was watching it all, and I was on the edge of my seat picturing myself in many of the demos.? The Lady Love kiddingly ribbed me asking if maybe i was accepting my submissive side.? I told her flat out that if I'd have been called up to be a part of the workshop as a demo, I'd have gone up without batting an eye.
So, I've decided that once life settled down a little, I'm likely going to start looking for a Dom or a Domme I can TRUST to help me learn more about my submissive side.? I know a lot of D's have a long process of screening prospective subs, but i am likely to have my OWN screening process.? I mean, this person would have me at their mercy.? They could seriously injure or KILL me, if they don't know WTF they're doing.? I think it only right that I make sure to screen them as much as they'd likely screen me.
Anyhow, enough rambling, I got work in the morning.? Peace, all...
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Posted this in the humor section, but I liked it enough... It'll also be a journal entry!
My Favorite Things - Collarme style
Subbies in bondage and brats in punishment mittens
Lashing and thrashing and confessions written
Marvelous leathermen and the pleasures they bring!
These are a few of my favorite things...
Writhing in passion and whippings with leather.
'Little girl' ageplayers that are held on a tether
Gag-silenced promises, hard biting stings.
These are a few of my favorite things!
When the paddle bites, when the whip stings, When I'm feeling down...
I simply remember the collarme folks, and then I can't hold, a frown!
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So, I've been thinking a lot about what exactally I am.? Thinking about the traditional roles and the like.? Been having really good talks with some people far more experienced than me, and have come to the conclusion that I'm going to just ride the flow for a bit.? I identify as a Dominant, but there are a few I wouldn't mind subbing or bottoming to.? Does this make me any less a Dom?? Not really, in my thoughts.? So, I'm going to let that side out to play with VERY trusted people, and fuck you to anyone who doesn't like it. ;)? In the end, once that subbie side has been sated, it should hopefully make me all the better Gentleman's Dominant.? because, in the end, we all need more of us sensation players out there!
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So the social went phenominally well!? It was really, really fun, and I can't wait for ext month!? All in all, this was a wonderful idea!
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So, Thursday is the first South County social, and really anxious and nervous about it. Hoping it goes all right, and also hoping someone doesn't show up in a gimp suit, if that makes sense?
In other news, recently on the furums there was a thread on furries. Now, I am a furry fan, so it made me groan greatly. The thread opened claiming all furries fucked stuffed animals or in fursuits, and it just went downhill from there... Oy, vey. Thankfully, by page three, the record was finally set straight. But yea...
Now, the interesting thing is I happen to RUN one of the furry/BDSM mergings. So, as such, I know a lot of the kinky furs who are a part of BDSM whether as experimenting or lifestyling. And, if any of us were asked, most would likely say that the furry & BDSM sides rarely meet IRL. For one thing, fursuits are too fucking hot and too damn bulky to scene in.
Now, interestingly enough, Threshold in Los Angeles is offering free admission in July to fursuiters to their Carnal Carnival. I admit that I have conflicted feelings on this. First off, they want 'the furry freaks' at a FETISH EVENT! Secondly, MOST if not ALMOST ALL fursuiters are so vanilla its fuckin' scary. Fursuiters plus my kinky folk will NOT end well. I'd mabye do it in my partial suit, but only to keep people from scaring the 'regular' fursuiters too much.
I think the thing that really got my goat the most was that they were going to have the fursuiters in a 'petting zoo'. Look, most these suits cost over $2K. Easy. The most fursuiters let anyone do usually is HUG them. And you want the suits petted, stroked, caressed, and the like!? What the flying fuck! Do you know how much damage that's going to do?
So, yeah... I'm a little fearful about this coming train wreck that is the meeting of my two worlds. I am really, really hoping it doesn't end up a nightmare. But I just know that some BDSMers are gonna judge me by the reaction of the fursuiters to them, and some furries are gonna judge me by how the BDSMers treated them. So, yeah. This is NOT going to be fun...
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So, like the wife, I've decided to take the plunge and try to earn my leathers.? We both have made a point to wear NO leather to the past few events, as a show of out intent.? Which is VERY hard, what with as much as I -LOVE- leather.? Also been experimenting a little to explore my sub side.? Problem is there are so few Dominants or Dommes usually, and I've had 'bad experiences'.? Not sure i wanna go full sub, as the sight of a squirming sub dancing in pleasure spiked with pain is too delicious...? But a little playing from time to time hurst no one.? Anyhow, yeah...? I'll keep folks posted!
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I -must- get a Club X membership!? ASAP!!!
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So, been looking into REAL suspension play...? IE, with hooks in flesh.? I must admit, I'd LOVE to try this, even if just once...? I've heard it's a total mindfuck and a real spiritual experience.? Also, sorry for no pic right now, its updating to a new main pic as it was suggested i put up something more current.? What, 6 months isn't current?? oy, vey...? Until later!
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playing around with the audio journal thingie today, so check it out.? Also, may end up at the Beer Bust tonight, still unsure...
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So the San Diego South County Munch has a day & place decided!? Woo-hoo!? Now comes the hard part, hosting it!
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Just did one of those audio greetings. Good? bad? Any thoughts whatsoever? |
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Just added some new songs to my profile's playlist...? Including the LAST track, which is a hypnotic domination track that is supposed to give wet dreams.? Lemme know if it works, will you?
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So I started a thread on what NOT to do when starting a munch, and so far I've gotten a LOT of good advice!? drksyde suggested to me to start a mailing list for the San Diego South County munch, so I started one! :)? Anyhow, I'll keep you all posted on how this works out!
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So I've been working on my profile.? Just set up a playlist.? Any suggestions for kinky songs for it?
Also, LBB and I are looking into starting a south county munch within a month or two.? We already found the PERFECT coffee shop.? International Blends in Imperial Beach, CA.? it's a biker coffee house, so most the patrons ALREADY wear leather. ^^
The hard part so far is picking a day to hold it.? Those I know in the scene down here in South County ALL work Monday Thru Friday, so all of them want a weekend event.? BUT, weekends are taken up with play parties and the like.? Oy, vey!
So, yeah.? Very busy as of late.? I'll keep everyone posted as things progress!
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Male Switch, 56, Bernardsville, New Jersey
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