This is a total re-write of my profile. I hadn’t read my own profile for a very long time and a responding Domme was kind enough to point out some inconsistancies and things that weren’t clear, so I’m redoing it, hopefully to avoid those problems.

I’m an accomplished, self-aware man
offering myself to the unique woman
who understands, accepts and respects
my need to surrender.

In my “vanilla” life I’m a well-educated, assertive person. I don’t consider it contradictory to acknowledge that I long to be able to submit totally to a special, intelligent, creative woman. I don’t consider my desire to submit to be a sign of weakness – I hope to find someone who sees submission as a sign of strength and is excited to think that someone like me is giving himself to her completely. The D/s relationship should never be one of aggression or hostility but a synergistic one that feeds the innate needs of both partners and makes both more, not less, of their true selves.

A word about “relationship”.

There is something to be said about the excitement and satisfaction of short-term BDSm “scenes” and I won’t claim to rule out the possibilities of encounters of that kind. For me, however, a true D/s relationship is just that – a relationship – an interaction between two

[or more?] people whose complementary needs are acknowledged, accepted and respected. That’s the ideal that I would most want to experience.

Honesty

The kind of relationship I seek rests on a foundation of honesty and trust.
In keeping with that truth I don’t want to hide my situation. I have been involved in one way or another in the BDSm, D/s “lifestyle” for many years. My first stumbling steps into this life were primarily as a submissive [it was easier to find women to dominate me and it was fun!] In time I realized two things: the “activities” of BDSm were fun – and pleasurable – but only tools: what I had been seeking, without even realizing it, was the relationship of D/s. I also saw that my naturally assertive, “take charge” personality expressed itself in the reality of my being the Dominant partner. Over time I was fortunate enough to meet a number of submissive women, a limited number with whom I had intense, satisfying relationships that lasted for various lengths of time and all of which ended, sometimes regrettably but always amiably.

More recently I have tapped into a reality that I had been, to a large extent, burying: what I had always wanted and demanded from my subs was a projection of what I longed to experience myself.

Having said that I hope to make some things completely clear:

What this is not for me:

It is not a fad or phase that I’m going through;

It is not an experiment to see what it’s like to be a “sub”;

It is not a disguised way of “domming” a Domme
[I don’ want to do that and never will];

It is not something I want to “play” at

What it is for me:

It is the hope to be able to throw off the “ego stuff” that so many of us have;

It is a need to be able to defer my needs and pleasure in order to please, satisfy and amuse the Woman who accepts me as her submissive;

It is the yearning not to negate who I am but to tap into an authentic part of myself;

It is the hope of finding the liberation in giving and serving someone I care for and about.

About paradoxes:

I believe that the D/s relationship, like so much of life, is a package of paradoxical experiences. I do have needs that I want addressed and fulfilled in this relationship but the deepest need is fulfilled by the satisfaction of responding to the needs of my Domme. I do get great pleasure from sexual release but I want to experience an even more intense pleasure/satisfaction in being allowed to participate in some way in creating Your pleasure and satisfaction. I want a relationship based so strongly on trust that I would do anything You asked of me precisely because I know that You would never ask me to do something that would seriously harm me or that You knew I really couldn’t do.

About “interests” and lists:

It seems presumptuous to me for a sub to “list” the things that he “loves” or “likes”. He should, above all, be prepared to respond to what his Domme desires. At the same time this kind of list is potentially very imprecise, not allowing for subtle distinctions. A primary example is the confusion inherent in the idea of humiliation. Do I like humiliation? If by that You mean shame and/or degradation, absolutely not – it’s a hard limit. If You see me as Your valued possession why would You want to demean me, why would You even want to have or be with something unworthy of You? But if You mean a kind of embarrassment or difficulty done to impress me with my position or to give You pleasure or amusement, it might well be something I “live for”. If I truly trust You nothing You ask of me could ever be “humiliating”, it could only be a source of pleasure and pride. Finally, the fact of my listing an activity as something I don’t like or hate does not imply that I wouldn’t do it – in fact those might be precisely the things that You asked of me in order to push my limits or to indicate my real willingness to please You. And things I’m curious about are not, heaven forbid, things I’m asking You to do with me, they are truly things I’ve simply not yet done but would like to know about.

So why have I filled in the interest list? First I don’t want anyone reading this to think I am avoiding anything or waiting to see how they would want to see me fill it in. And, if I am seeking a truly full relationship I would like to give a You at least some idea of who I am, as a sub and as a person.

About Ownership and Slavery

If You consider me You should know: I am not a slave and do not wish to be “owned” in that sense. At the same time I am a submissive and as such I do hope to be “possessed”. A subtle difference, somewhat difficult to explain? Certainly. But I do not aspire to be the mindless extension of my Mistress, kept to be abused, to be there to make her life easier while I am discounted and perpetually ignored like a piece of equipment. I do hope You would see me as a prized possession that You value, care for and protect while letting me grow as a person and as a submissive. And if it is Your inclination to take a kind of ownership of specific parts of my life [e.g., my sexuality, deciding how I am to use my – Your – cock, balls and orgasms] that seems heavenly.

About “Use” and “Abuse”

It should be clear by now that I am offering myself in a fairly total way. If You choose to accept me I have no desire to limit the ways in which You might use me. I’m looking for the intimate, primary relationship I’ve spoken about but that does not preclude the involvement of others or restrictions on where or with whom you choose to use me. The idea of total exposure [physically and emotionally] and vulnerability is somewhat frightening but wholly exciting. I’m not looking for a situation in which I am kept perpetually in servitude [see about “slavery” above] – that crosses the line into abuse. I do, however, perceive this relationship as 24/7 in the sense that I would always be aware of my place in relation to You regardless of where we were, what we were doing, or even when I was not physically with You. I would be ready at any moment to serve You, knowing that You would never jeopardize my work or family. I would be Yours to do with and use as you see fit because I trust that You won’t abuse me or my trust in You.

Finally

I’m fully aware that this has become an exceptionally long profile and I regret if it seems inappropriate in any way. [I do tend to be verbal and speech restrictions may be something that you feel necessary. :-)] I have hoped that if you’ve read this far you now have enough information about me to make any initial contact easier and more efficient.