More than a few have commented on my profile stating it's a little vague, a little light. I know. I did it purposely.  Bits and pieces usually do end up in my journals now and then.

It's too easy to mirror wants and desires that are handed on a silver platter by way of "profile", instead of taking the time to slowly peel back the layers.

Since I seek only Dominant men, there's certain things that I'm looking for and certain things that are big bright red flags. 

After writing my journal entry yesterday and reading it again today it's so obvious at least to me I've given up. I'm so hell bent on the do's and don'ts of a past experience I completely shut down when approached by another Dominant. 

 Yesterday was a wake up call. If I only wanted hot steamy sex with a drop dead gorgeous gentleman, I'd be on cloud nine right now. Actually I should be kicking myself in the ass for desiring and needing something so much different ( FUCKED UP is more the term ). 

 And so once again I ask myself "Why the hell did you meet him in the first place ? " ANSWER : He posed no threat. 

I broke down and met a wonderful gentleman for a very last minute lunch. Of course true to my name it turned into a" rainy day " on the lake. I think I need to be put over a a knee and spanked with a hand I both fear and adore.  Once again it's just a little word, a little jesture and I close up tighter than a damn clam. 

Yesteday I was reminded that I'm not completely nuts coming back to this site. I got to talk and chat to a couple of old friends I've known for a few years from this site and another. It's always good to laugh your asses off comparing our online adventures. I do have to admit, you men have to take alot of crap just like the women !!

I crave a man. A very "real" man". A man that doesn't need to hide who He is. He is what He is. 

 Maybe I'm wrong, but how can any real woman look to a man for strength, when he hides behind a mask of deception.  These are the men that flaunt all their conquests , but look a little deeper and you'll notice what their prizes are. 

When I'm at your feet, on my knees You my Master are anyone or anything You wish to be. But when I hear those words "look up at me t " I only want to see your nakedness, not an illusion or fantasy .

Rainy Day Gypsy

I filled my lungs with the deepest breath of fresh air and the newness and freshness was intoxicating and addicting !!

Finally I "exhaled".  Now I'm afraid to breathe.

Let the rain wash the salt from my tears. I don't want to feel the sting.

Let the thunder drown my screams. I don't want to hear the pain.

Let the lightening lite the sky. I don't want to see the darkness.

Rainy Day Gypsy