This not a very "Dom" posting... Instead it is a very human posting as I believe letting people in to the personal side of yourself is philosophically more Dominant than the alternative....  That said....

I give up...  I give up trying to meet a girl on Collarme.  

Its happen too many times now - I write someone, we start writing back and forth, perhaps IMs are exchanged, and then all communication goes cold.  She either leaves the site, stops responding altogether, never see them on IM, etc. 
 
I go over it, analyze it - is it something I said?   Sure, there was that one time when I jokingly ended an email "Are you trying to ask me out?"  and I don't think the girl got the joking tone - but ultimately, I think that most girls on this site suffer from an inability to finally pull the trigger to meet.  Its like they crave to meet a Dom, but when chat / messaging etc. leads in that direction, they get cold feet and run. 

I'm miffed.  

And its not like I would consider myself overly forward, crude, or creepy in any way.   Nor do I go into a first meeting with a person wanting to just fuck.  Instead, and this is novel - I set out to get to know a girl - usually in a comfortable yet crowded public place that puts both parties at ease - because when someone is relaxed, they are more themselves - and thats the point of a first date - getting to know each other. (There is plenty of time and ways later to put you on edge.)   

But the point is - I get this distinct feeling that as soon as something develops further from "messaging back and forth" to "let's meet up - for coffee, dinner, a drink, blah"  Something in girls' minds thinks - this guy is trying to rape me (okay maybe not that sinister, but something spurs a recoil mechanism and all of a sudden, trail cold :)     
 
Lol. I'm Dom, but that doesn't mean I'm not a person first.  I crave personal connections with people, especially play partners.  Furthermore, you can't be truly effective controlling someone's mind - at least via non-Pavlovian conditioning - without knowing what makes them tick.



For the first time in a while I really am amenable to a real relationship and while I would love to find another relationship of the kink variety  - at this point, I just might give up.

Of all the postings that I ever wrote about my philosophy on bondage and attitude toward life - basically everything that I think makes me a good person in relationships and life - sadly this will be the post that gets the most response.

Due to my stock options on my company finally maturing, I paid off my car 2 years early, am debt free, and am quitting my job to pursue a full time lifestyle of entrepenurialism, writing, and directing.

I'm actually sort of scared by the prospect of not having a dime of debt.   Its come to be part of my identity. 

I haven't called out other Doms in a while, generally because I tend to have a live and let live attitude about others - and I don't like hearing their sniffling hate mail - but this time, the rhetorical gloves are off. 

Doms who tell their subs they can't write / talk to / interact with others without their permission are COWARDS, lack self-esteem, and I believe aren't truly dominant. 

Let me make these caveats - if you're punishing someone so consequently, they aren't allowed to email for a period - fine.   I also give certain allowances for situations that involve protocol, particularly if applied across the board to discussions - though I'm not a fan of effectively muting your sub from intellectual conversation over long durations or doing it for the reasons explained post hoc...

So I'm not talking about those permittable situations. 

I'm talking about the girls who write "Master has forbidden me from messaging other Doms.  Please don't talk to me.  Besides he reads my emails and you're blocked anyways."

Whenever I hear this, I think - Her Dom must really be slovenly, a nerd, have deep seated trust issues, live in the midwest, or lack charisma for him to have to forbid her from even rudimentary interactions with another Dom.

That's so not Dominant in any sense of the word.   But I understand why Dom's do this.  They think that to keep a girl under their thumb, they need to isolate her from the world.  Its pathetic. 

Now subs, I'm sure your Dom is the exception.  I'm sure he has a 12 inch penis and nothing to worry about and he has this rule "just because."

But...     

Meanwhile, girls I date are like yo-yos.  They come back.  A girl I'm seeing can go talk to the hottest, most loaded guy at a party and she's still coming back.  Why?  Because I'm me.

And believe me, my reason for writing this isn't because I resent not hitting on taken girls.  I don't.  I'm respectful of relationships - generally. (Plus while I can steal girlfriends in person, not worth the effort over the internet) 

My reason for this editorial is this -- I'm sick of seeing so many guys who "act" Dominant and think that because they learned to tie a few knots, read enough books on S&M, and took their Dungeons and Dragons Dungeon Master fantasy abilities to the bedroom, that they are "Dominant" - when at their core  they just aren't.  Being Dominant is a self esteem thing.  Its a mentality, an attitude, a personality. 

Selectively forbiding your girl from talking to other males isn't Dominant, its just pathetic.

Because I personally do not like to either turn away nice subs who send really well thought out messages, I'll say this...

I am not attracted to subs who are either Overweight or Significantly older than me.

That doesn't mean I'm not interested in talking to you, but the attraction just isn't there so I likely would not be interested in taking you on. 

Just making this point as a courtesy to save others time and receipt of politely worded responses of rejection.