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prettyodd

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Friends:
klove37FRAMEMasternETNSirChase2u

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Pretty - adv. : to a moderately high degree. Odd - adj. : strange. Prettyodd - noun: random member of a kink site whose username has been the of much speculation...also a PATD album. Here goes yet another attempt at being more specific in what I'm interested in finding. Because if I get another initial message asking me what I'm "looking for here", I'm going to throw myself off of the tallest building in my town...which wouldn't kill me, but would likely paralyze me for life, which I feel is even worse. Do you really wanna be responsible for a fate worse than death? On second thought, some of you probably shouldn't answer that.








Yes, I do think I'm ready to make another stab at something long-term, but that takes time. Like...lots of time. Lyellian amounts of time. To be perfectly frank, I don't really think I will find a long-term partner on this, or any, website. But why let a little thing like that stop me from trying? :D

As far as the actual mechanics of a relationship, I think it's silly to lay it all out like I'll be the only person involved. I'm not interested in poly (that doesn't mean I'm not interested in involving other people from time to time, but I'm ass-achingly conservative and/or traditional in some regards). This is going to sound horrible, but I prefer someone who's financially comfortable (not rich). I have a great job (and still attend school...it's a long story, but I have three degrees and have completed two years of vet school) and don't like to sit around the house. I've been in situations where a guy I was dating held a minimum wage job and...it was just depressing. But I think it'd be the same situation, only switched, if I were to date someone who made a lot of money. So...comfortable and slightly materialistic would be swell. :D

I'm big on the outdoors and...pretty much anything else. Lol if it can be classified as "something to do", I'm game. I take a lot of road trips, and I'm a journey > destination sort of person. I'm also a farmer's market, backyard garden, weekend fishing trips person. But I'm also a nails always done, shopaholic, black dress to the opera person. And I never balk at a new experience. Sooo...yeah. Not confusing at all.

But don't worry! There's kink, too!
ALSO...sorry about the mess in the body picture. I was packing for a trip and getting clothes ready to donate. Room was a little disheveled. alsoalso--people not in the US and under 25 go to bulk mail. i check it periodically, but only once a month or so.

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3/8/2014 9:20:16 AM

Out-of-state and off-grid for a few days. Will have zero signal, reception, contact with civilized society. So...don't freak if I don't get back to you immediately. I'll be back in time for green beer. :D


3/6/2014 6:40:57 PM

I'm not sure if my profile conveys this well enough, so I'll just say it: if your junk is readily available for viewing on your profile, I'm most likely not going to consider getting to know you for the purposes of anything other than being pals. Prudish, you say? Undoubtedly. But what're ya gonna do, right? My type of guy is a little more reserved than that.


3/6/2014 3:38:04 PM

Was in dire need of a profile revamp and some new pictures. Goofy smile pictures in the red dress were taken about five minutes ago. :D


2/11/2014 4:45:32 PM

no. no. no. no. not even close.


2/6/2014 3:24:15 PM

been bouncing around from doctors' offices all day, to finally end up in the ER...in the bordering state. why? everyone has decided that the flu is a crucial and life-threatening malady. i mean, i generally get the flu once a year. i have never seen a doctor for it. throw some soup and sprite at that shit and sleep it off. some of us are about to lose our damn finger here. >:(


2/6/2014 12:55:00 PM

how do i keep getting myself into these situations?


1/30/2014 12:04:12 PM

well...it finally happened. it's been threatening to happen for years and it finally did.

i was at the gym, sans my usual gym partner (she got all preggo on me). i'm the type of person who does better at the gym when there's someone with me to keep me from slacking. the best people for this are the meatheads who overtake the free weights section. i was warming up on a press machine thingie, meathead at my side to give encouragement, when i felt that familiar pressure behind my navel and...*ahem* further down. this pressure feels like an impending orgasm. it only happens when i'm lifting with my arms and in a sitting position.

well, with meathead's help today (not like that, just in the sense that he was pretty relentless), i came. in the weight room. for NO REASON, other than i was lifting and my muscles were about to give out.

 

'splain dat.


1/28/2014 12:27:04 PM

please, please, puh-lease do not ask me what i'm looking for--especially not after just a few messages. i'm just here, okay? if you want to chat and be pals, we can do that. if you're looking for a real relationship, you had better be fuckin' awesome for that to happen. and anything else in between is likely a possibility. but am i "looking" for any of that? nooooo.


1/20/2014 8:27:04 PM

being a sub, i guess i'm just not in the know, but...did all the doms here get the memo about walrus mustaches apparently being the coolest fucking thing to stick on your face since the monocle?

and if so, i would guess that the memo was sent as a horrible joke.


1/20/2014 6:01:27 PM

ice cream made from coconut milk has sooooo much fiber. i'm telling myself that makes it okay to have just eaten half a pint. O.O

Seriously...this stress needs to go.


1/19/2014 5:46:15 PM

Managed to get my phone wet today. In addition to having an intense migraine and a panic attack, I'd say it just wasn't my day. But that's not what's going to stick out about today in my memory. This conversation is:

 

Me: I sprayed my fuckin' phone with a hose at work. Now the speakers don't work.
Idiot: Put it in rice!
Me (keeping in mind that my head hurts so badly that I'm vomiting): Do we have any rice?
Idiot: No.

 

Uhhhhhhh...the award for least helpful comment ever goes to...


1/16/2014 8:59:31 PM

Okay, when my stress levels take a toll on my enjoyment of sex, it is time to reassess the situation.


1/10/2014 11:19:43 AM

"18 and Life" has been stuck in my head...for a goddamned WEEK. What fresh hell is this?!


1/8/2014 12:14:05 PM
Super bummed today. Ending a friendship sucks. But when a person makes you grit you teeth simply by speaking to you, it's time to make a decision for your own sanity.

1/7/2014 6:39:28 PM

So far tonight, I've accidentally favorite three people and almost invited two to chat...all while trying to hide their profiles. Awkwardness.


1/3/2014 6:27:54 PM

I can't think of anything sexier on a guy than scars. Just throwin' that out there.


1/1/2014 10:30:34 AM

It isn't like I hadn't already guessed this, but...online is kinda not the best way to meet people.


1/1/2014 7:14:39 AM

You know that feeling you get when you hang with a guy a few times, then kinda stop hearing from him? And every now and again you wonder what happened? Then you stalk his facebook one day and find out that his mom had died and he got stationed in Alaska for three years?

Then you're all..."well...all right."


11/18/2013 6:18:03 PM

"if you're gonna be the death of me, that's how i wanna go."

sure my neighbors love watching me through the window while i rock out to some PATD.


11/15/2013 7:35:20 PM

First time dining out since i re-committed to fitness. Did better than i thought i would. i couldn't pass up fried squid--i never can--but i filled up more on broccoli (or "brocorri", since we were at MoMo's Korean BBQ) and really enjoyed branching out and trying hwae-naengmyun for the first time. i believe it was raw skate with a kimchi-type sauce and some kind of black looking noodles that i had to cut with scissors. i went with a friend who's from korea, but her Engrish is funny, so she had a hard time telling me what the hell i was eating.

good times with Asians. :D


11/14/2013 10:30:38 PM

Know who was a great submissive? The Toaster. From The Brave Little Toaster.


11/13/2013 9:56:00 AM

2nd entry in one day? bitch must be bored. yes. yes, she is.

i keep looking at the ads that pop up on the right side of my screen when i'm here on my laptop. i notice that 90% of them are flagrant lies to men. sorry, guys.

then again, what do i know? maybe grapefruit will make your junk bigger... O.o


11/13/2013 9:24:41 AM

Sooo, when i see someone with no content in their little profile blurb or they've written some variation of "ask and find out" or "no one reads these anyway"...um, i read those. i don't like to talk about myself either, but i did make an effort, however scattered and vague. just throwin' that out there, homedawgs homies amigos...ya know what? nevermind.


8/11/2013 7:28:20 PM

i used to watch movies like "pulp fiction" and "american history x" and get so uncomfortable and disturbed during the anal rape scenes.

well, after today, i have zero sympathy. it's not that bad, marcellus. suck it up, derek. try having that shit done while your hair's being pulled and you're being choked.

 

no, seriously...try it. :D

 


6/18/2013 8:25:32 PM

i think if i hear or read some variation of the phrase "nice guys finish last" one more time, i might scream.

nice guys don't finish last; losers do.


4/2/2013 6:42:41 PM

sorry if you got a "deleted unread" from me...messages got a little out of control. heh, i panicked. :p


3/25/2013 7:17:05 PM

okay...fuck the cold. seriously. as soon as it's feasible, i'm putting in for a transfer to a school somewhere that isn't -60,000,000 degrees in march. i haven't been warm since october!


2/6/2013 5:04:11 PM

Well, my hopes have just been dashed against some very jagged rocks. Bought a new app called "Zombies, Run!" that i thought might make treadmill time suck a little less. It's pretty cool, actually, but i forgot that nothing sucks more than treadmill time. It tells a story that's interlaced with zombie chases, and you have to pick up your speed during the chases--it also plays music from your playlists in between cut-scenes and chases.

 

Warm weather cannot get here quick enough...of course, then i'm going to look ridiculous, running around outside like a maniac, possibly screaming about zombies...


2/5/2013 8:24:35 PM

if i'm lying in the dark, watching netflix, with headphones on and a mug of tea...don't bother me and not expect me to go all al swearengen on your ass. that kind of thing annoys me so much, it causes me to use double-negatives. >:( gah. now i have to re-watch the last twenty minutes of my show.


1/31/2013 11:41:28 PM

Discovery #3 of 2013: breast milk tastes bad.

curiosity satisfied.


1/29/2013 7:38:08 PM

so...you know those people who take and take and take from you on an emotional level, then when you need to step away and work on yourself, you're just drained? yeah. not fun.

but those people can't take two seconds to try and stand on their own feet, no way. they expect you to somehow throw them a life preserver, when you're feeling completely emotionally bankrupt.

then there's that point when all the empathy and heartache you felt for that person is gone and there's nothing there but resentment that's quickly giving way to apathy.

 

no? just me? okay, then. :(


1/28/2013 7:59:55 PM

lack of leadership and experience. that would be the current theme of my life. why, you ask? because i've settled into a very vanilla relationship.

there are several things i've yet to learn that, for a person like me, require a Master's guidance, and...well, i find myself Master-less at the moment. not only that, but i'm not even in a position to find one.

i keep doing this. i keep thinking that i'd be better off in a more convenetional-style relationship, and all that happens is that i end up making two people miserable.


12/14/2012 9:45:22 PM

if you have a cocker spaniel, don't even talk to me. 

well...if you have an english cocker, okay. if you have an american cocker spaniel, don't even talk to me.


12/11/2012 8:28:07 PM

so...if anyone knows of a protein powder that actually dissolves well in almond milk, i'm all ears.

 

yeah, i know: "ugh, protein powder. what an amateur." well...duh.


11/19/2012 4:58:00 PM

watching a tv show got me to thinking...i wonder if any murderers have ever thought to hide their vicitms' bodies in a cemetery? i mean...right? instead of wasting all that time with vats of acid and cement shoes, just find a fresh grave and add the new corpse. done.

 


11/12/2012 11:15:05 PM

haydn can take his "surprise symphony" and go straight to hell.

 

...or maybe i should start taking off my headphones before i fall asleep.


11/7/2012 2:24:23 PM

wait, what? obama won, so your big comeback is, "guess i'll pack my bags and move to canada?" really? considering that your big gripe is that obama is a "socialist", you might wanna reconsider the move north. i don't think  you'll like what you find.

from what i gather about you, iran might be a little more your style.

 

/incredulity at ignorant people


11/6/2012 9:13:21 PM

well, that's a huge relief. feels like the vice-grip around my head has loosened a little. gah, i love/hate election season so much. maybe now i can stop ingesting ranitidine like it's skittles.


11/4/2012 5:36:35 PM

*sigh* i hate when i get angry/annoyed enough to tell someone what i actually think. i imagine i'll be paying for that little outburst soon.


10/25/2012 6:29:26 PM

this is what i always think of when i read some of the profiles here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7dPprbzNSc


10/13/2012 7:47:37 PM

if you're old and crotchety, why on earth would you contact a 24 year-old? i understand the appeal of being with someone younger (i even prefer men in their 30's and early 40's), but...what the hell are we supposed to do together? i hope like hell that i'm at least a good thirty years away from finding antiques roadshow appealing.

i'm definitely a proponent of "you're only as old as you feel", but...if you're wearing white tennis shoes with light-colored jeans and have a pencil 'stache, it's safe to assume that you feel pretty damned old--at the very least, you're stuck in another decade. it gives me a "funny uncle" vibe.

i just...don't think our interests will mesh well. i cannot imagine a single thing i have to offer a 60 year-old retiree who only leaves the house to grocery shop and vote...well, other than headaches. i'm prone to bouts of hyperactivity and extreme frivolity.

 

while i'm in a complain-y mood, i'll also mention that i'm not into the more...um, formal aspects of bdsm. i think the leather outfits look funny and i've never been one for ceremony. referring to myself as an object in third person is a little annoying, but i'll do it without complaint. i mean, i kind of like a linguistic challenge. and...i'm not going to call you "Sir" (not to be confused with "sir", which i call everyone [or "ma'am", as the case may be]) or "Master" simply because you've mastered the complicated technique of sending a message.

i know, i know: "who does this uppity slave bitch think she is?" to be honest, she isn't 100% sure, but is hoping to find someone to help her figure it out. ;P


10/11/2012 5:31:18 PM

the dog park is an exercise in insanity for the socially-awkward individual and her type-a dog. i'm getting a little annoyed with her for getting me into conversations that i don't want to be in (conversations centered around her, too) and then just buggering off--usually to mark something or talk smack to one of the big dogs on the other side of the fence.

and don't even get me started on the uber-submissive little dogs that she runs roughshod all over. then again, it can be interesting to watch her be king of the hill without really even having to try. of course, it's not fun to have to constantly assure the owner of whatever pocket dog she's domming that she won't actually hurt another dog...well, unless it gives her a reason to do so. and to be fair, she never approaches the other dog. it always runs up to her, clearly not able to read the look of "back the fuck up" on her face...

the strange part is that she's yet to encounter a dog that will challenge her. that's the worst part: worrying what will happen when she meets the dog that doesn't back down. fortunately, she's a compact and portable terrier--they're easy to remove from bad situations. :D


10/4/2012 3:37:35 PM

so...sex dream last night. not only a sex dream, but a sex dream with a happy ending. only...not so happy. sex dream featuring christopher walken...a little disturbing.

he's my favorite actor and he looked good--in 1972-- but if i ever have another dream like that, i'm going to clorox my brain.


10/3/2012 10:12:29 PM

who just bought "jump in the line" by harry belafonte on itunes? this girl...who has just reached a new level of nerdom that was previously thought impossible.

 

and as a slightly related aside: icloud is awesome.


10/2/2012 1:55:55 PM

i just got a text from a friend to inform me that he just woke up (it's almost 4PM here) with coyote ugly in his bed. after last night, he's kind of lucky that he didn't wake up in jail.

see, what i remember about last night (besides eight long island iced teas and about a third of a fish bowl), is hugging it out on the dancefloor with a very tall drag queen, making out with a girl from work, and waking up in the back of a stranger's car with my friend in the front seat, revving the engine and screaming "closed casket, motherfucker!" at a guy who was blocking the front of said car. i promptly blacked out again, it would seem.

i'm still not entirely sure what went down last night. i've been avoiding reading all the texts i've received since driving home at around 6 o'clock this AM.

i'm about 67% sure that i didn't do anything illegal. and that's really all that matters.

 

...i gotta get new friends. :P


9/25/2012 11:47:25 AM

i'm not the biggest fan of the q&a approach to conversation. to be honest, when i first meet a person, i don't care where they're from, what their pets' names are, and i certainly don't know down to the letter what i'm hoping to gain from being on this site.

a person has to interest me before i start caring about what makes them tick. i'm interested in a person who can show me their sense of humor and a preview of their personality, which hopefully doesn't include an initial message that reads: "ever been owned before?" i don't even consider it rude to not respond to those messages.

i also don't ask a lot of questions, ever. i figure if a person wants me to know something, they'll tell me. i don't like to feel that i'm prying.

sound counter-productive to meeting someone? if so, i think we've managed to establish easily and painlessly that we aren't compatible. you're welcome. ;P


9/24/2012 6:10:12 PM

if you play a fender by choice, we have nothing to say one another.


9/21/2012 6:35:18 PM

homophones. they're tricky little buggers. then again, they're not so tricky that i couldn't master them by the age of 10.

that's something to consider. if i can make words my bitch, and you're having grammar troubles...well...

i mean, i hate to rub my superior small-town public school education in anyone's face, but we're interacting through text. because of this, i find it very difficult to communicate with anyone who can't type messages that convey some measure of personality (type how you speak, not how you would write your thesis on german colonialism), or that are riddled with spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.

i'm just sayin', a misplaced or absent comma can completely alter the meaning of what you attempted to say.

i try not make bitchy entries, but i'm hoping this one will save me and (possibly) you some time. :)


9/21/2012 5:08:43 PM

note to self: remember to find the dog biscuit that the dog just spent ten minutes hiding (for the third time today) and throw it away.

hopefully, this can be done without the dog noticing. otherwise, i'll be subjected to accusatory glares and at least five minutes of being cold-shouldered for throwing away the treat that she doesn't even want.


9/20/2012 7:40:53 PM

i love taking the time to type out an entry that cm won't let me post.


9/17/2012 9:33:00 PM

quick note: apologies to anyone who sent a message in the last few days. i'm sure i didn't get back to you, but...there were so freakin' many messages and they just keep coming.

being generally unobservant of my surroundings, i only just realized that i could set my inbox controls. heh.

 


9/16/2012 11:03:13 AM

*groan* the time has come to address something that has needed to be addressed for about two years now...i have become chubbified.

i know why i got chubby--a combination of a bad breakup and a long winter spent in vermont--but i'm not sure why i let myself stay this way. possibly because i've simply fallen into bad habits.

i'm slightly active. i run a minmum of 8 miles a week, strength train 2-3 times a week, active job, etc. but it seems that doesn't do a whole lot of good when you go out with friends 4-6 nights a week. i can only imagine what i'd look like if i didn't stay moderately active. O.O

the solution? precisely what every american LOVES to hear: cut the calories and up the exercise. bleh. it's funny that the prospect seems so gloomy to a former anorexic. i used to make a game of seeing how long i could go without ingesting any calories (while exercising until i became dizzy). of course, those weren't exactly glorious times...

okay, now to come up with a game plan that i can stick with, while still maintaining a social life. i'd really rather not make the move to ny while still wearing an 11/12.


9/12/2012 12:28:37 PM

attempting to date a sub was, not surprisingly, a massive failure. granted, he was still dominant when compared to me, but...still lacking in the dominance department in several various areas.

for example, this is something i would have preferred to never hear from a person with whom i'm in bed: "really? that hurt you? i've taken it up the ass and i didn't think it hurt."


5/8/2012 4:45:10 PM

you know you're a complete nerd when you think you're cool because you know all the words to "blinded by the light."

 

this will now be submitted as reason #4,567 that i hate driving with my friends: we cannot agree on music. i don't know what the hell a plastic bag has to do with being a firework or how that lmfao song got so popular, but i do know all about the 50 ways to leave you lover and why go-kart mozart was checkin' out the weather chart. :P

#generationfail 


5/5/2012 7:34:33 PM

i love, love, love driving along the highway at night, especially when i'm a passenger and i can press my forehead against the window and just drift (and occasionally bonk my head against the glass when we hit a bump). someone said something about finding an ihop as soon as we get nearer to civilization. i hate ihop (well, i've been once and i strongly disliked it), but...i just spent the last few days eating nothing but marshmallows, beef jerky, and cherry tomatoes. i'm not really in a picky mood.

i'm actually kind of bummed to be going back to tennessee. not that georgia was wonderful, but...i disagree with tn on a fundamental level. on the plus side, only four more months and i'll be the newest resident of the empire state. :D

 

 


5/4/2012 9:06:34 AM

Note to self: next camping trip, remember to bring a notebook and something to write with, in order to avoid having to use the journal feature on a kink site.


5/3/2012 6:38:15 PM

Once again, I find myself withdrawing from my friends in favor of moderate seclusion--the difference between now and earlier today being that now it's dark as hell and about as scary. :P But I can still hear them talking, so I imagine they'll get to me relatively quickly should a mountain lion or clown or werewolf appear. Hmm...I don't think mountain lions hunt at night anyway.

The strange thing about tonight is that everyone else is drinking and goofing around and...pretty much doing what I used to live to do. I think this is the first time that I've ever just not wanted to participate in shennanigans. Hahaha, I'm like Emerson and this little camping ground is my Walden pond. Too bad I have nothing profound to say. I'm just bored and unable to relate to the people that I used to tolerate a little more than others.

Ugh. I just heard a can opening. That means they're getting into the PBR. God, that stuff is vile. It also means that they're playing "up and down the river." Ten bucks says someone's gonna vomit in about an hour.

Annnd...I hear something moving around in the woods. Heh, if no one hears from me in a few days, alert the authorities. :P I'm kidding. Don't do that.


5/3/2012 10:11:43 AM

i'm sitting on a boulder, somewhere in ellijay, georgia, hoping that a bear doesn't come along and maul me while i'm apart from my camping companions--who are all still sleeping. i've been awake since before the sun came up.

 

we picked kind of a lousy weekend for camping, to be honest. then again, the ground could be covered in five feet of snow, with penguins knocking on the tent flaps and asking to borrow sugar, and i still would have been all in favor of this trip.

 

sometimes i just need to get away. unfortunately, i kind of feel like i've been ignoring my friends (which is a rational way to feel, since it's pretty true), but my main motivation for agreeing to come along on a camping trip with an ex-boyfriend, his brother, and several of their friends is because i felt that the wilderness exposure and opportunities for alone time would help to clear my head. it seems to be working.

 

i've actually been able to figure out a lot of problems that i've been struggling with for months. and it wasn't even difficult. about 100 miles away from home and everything seemed to come into focus. i think i'd all but forgotten what it's like to feel hopeful.

 

a nightmare woke me up early this morning. it was blue-gray outside, but the sun still had yet to make an appearance. after the paralyzing fear passed (i didn't even know what i'd been dreaming), i fumbled my way out of my sleeping bag and started wandering the campsite. i had every intention of watching the sunrise, which i've never done. the next time i snapped out of my thoughts, the sun was prominently in the sky and i'd venture a guess that it was at least 7AM--i turned out to be several miles from the campsite. there's always tomorrow morning to see the sun come up, i guess.

 

 

 

 

 


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missmonroe1
 
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