prescious

First let me say that I am not realy sure why I am so attracted and curious about this lifestyle. For the past 3 years I have been searching for a master, attempting to get in touch with my other side; my submissive side. About 3 years ago I had a boy friend who was very dominant by nature, but was also very kinky. He loved rough sex, often forcing himself on me, holding me down from behind and penetrating me anally. After forcing himself inside me, if i moved too much his hands would slowly move up around my neck. It would be then that he would take total control of my. Grasping my neck tightly with both hands. If I began to make noises, he would put his whole arm around my neck and put the other hand over my mouth and nose cutting off my airway momentarily.
Just as I would lay there still and in pain he would began pushing himself even harder and deeper inside me and suddenly he would explode. As weird as it may seem I loved it. I loved him taking advantage of me overpowering me. The problem was is that was mainly all that he was into. I always found myself wanting more. He handcuffed me, gave me golden showers, arranged a threesome with another female for us. All minor stuff compared to fantasies that I have about being owned and treated as a slave. Giving up all rights, being collared or caged for hours raped continuously, having to ask for permission for everthing using to use the bathroom.
I am in search of a dom that is very creative, kinky, maybe even perverted at times. Who enjoys treating his slave as such and not as an companion. Someone who enjoys the process of taking control of his slaves body and mind. After all mind control is a big a part of this lifestyle?